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emilys-house · 6 months

Text

Types of Harry replying to…Sex facts ✰

AN: Please reblog if you enjoy 🙂

Contains: Talks of sex, Swearing, Potentially incorrect facts (I found them on google so they might not be 100% true)

{Sorry for any grammar, punctuation or spelling mistakes, I failed all of my English exams 😂}

Masterlist ✰

Fetus Harry:

Fratboy Harry:

Prince Hair Harry:

Long Hair Harry:

Dunkirk/HS1 Harry:

Fine Line Harry:

Current Harry:

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles texts #texting harry styles #fetus!harry #fratboy!harry #phh!harry #lhh!harry #dunkirk!harry #liveontour!harry #fineline!harry #harryshouse!harry

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jarofstyles · 2 years

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These texts are cute!! How about best friend’s dadrry? 😵‍💫🤌🏼

We can do him 😎

Dirty alert 🌶

H = Harry

🍒 =Y/N

—-

🍒: hi. 😘

H: Hello. :)

🍒: you look sexy over there.

H: Oh? Thank you.

H: but please… do not start this right now.

🍒: 🙁 but whyyyyyy not

H: You know why.

🍒: ah. Because this is a ‘family cookout’ and your ex wife and daughter are here.

H: Precisely, love.

🍒: hmph.

🍒: remember what happened last time I wore this sundress?

H: Darling. Enough.

🍒: awww come on, Daddy. You want to know what I’m wearing under this?

🍒: and stop glaring at me from across the yard. Hold that beer any tighter and the bottle will shatter

🍒: ugh. And now I’m horny thinking about your hand around my neck.

H: For the love of god, darling. Please. Not with everyone here.

H: I gave you plenty of attention the other day. Don’t be greedy.

🍒: but you love when I’m daddy’s greedy girl. Don’t lie.

🍒: come on… can’t we sneak somewhere? Your office? I want you. Please?

H: Stop looking at me like that. I’m in the middle of a conversation.

🍒: God, give me that glare again Daddy. Scold me. Makes me wet.

H: You’re baiting me, aren’t you?

🍒: me? Never! ;)

H: You want me to spank you… Jesus. Darling, can’t you wait until everyone’s left? We’ll be fully alone.

🍒: I could wait, but that’s half the fun. Live a little, old man. I’ve got no bottoms on under this.

H: I want you at my office desk then. Go. Now.

🍒: yes, sir.

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zeequicks · 1 year

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I really love when adam gets asked questions about lgbt discourse in the media because his response is almost always some snarky version of "respectfully none of these are issues that actually matter to any of us"

recalling that one time piers morgan (boo) tried to bait him into the whole gay actors playing gay characters argument and adam was like "yeah i see both sides. would love to see more roles for gay people though"

he really has the self assured energy of a gay person who has been put through the media circus in the early 2000s and really has no time for it anymore

#im glad he seems to be at peace these days!#adam lambert #zeequicks text #also this is the funniest thing he could have possibly added to the harry styles discourse

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earlgraysdeath · 1 year

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sirius: james it’s been 11 hours and remus still hasn’t called, I should call him.

james: dude I’m literally in the shower right now can this wait?

regulus: does he know I’m here?

sirius: yes hi reggie, pause the couple shit I need attention.

#maurders fic #jegulus raising harry #jegulus fic #maurders era #jegulus as dads #trans regulus #maurders text post #jegulus textpost #jegulus #himym au #himym Jegulus style #Jegulus are Marshall and lily now #starchaser

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watermelonlovershigh · 9 months

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Each Harry Eras ... (You Can't Sleep Text Conversation)

AN: got the inspo to do this from tiktok. let me know if you think this is somewhat accurate or not.

This contains: mostly fluff, mentions of weed, implications of smut

{ fetus!harry - fratboy!harry - prince!harry - longhaired!harry - dunkirk!harry - fineline!harry - loveontour!harry - boyfriend!harry - fiancé!harry - husband!harry }

How each Harry era would react to when you tell them you can't sleep, through text.

{Fetus Harry - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: baby i can't sleep : (

Harry: i'm sorry. snuggle with the stuffed bear i bought you last week and try and pretend i'm there to cuddle you in person. love and miss you :(

Y/N: ok i will. see you soon?

Harry: yep. my mum said i can come over tomorrow after my shift at the bakery. i'll even bring you that fancy bread you like.

Y/N: oh yes, please do. ok going to try and sleep now.

Harry: night.

{Frat Boy Harry - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: H, i can't sleep. 😭

Harry: awe baby, i wish i was there to cuddle with you. we're on tour until the end of the month and then i get to come home for a few weeks.

Y/N: i wish it was sooner. 😔 you always give me the best cuddles when i can't sleep.

Harry: i know baby. try and spray some of my cologne on your pillow and maybe that'll help. love you. gtg. they're calling us back on stage now.

Y/N: ok. and have a great show.

{Prince Harry - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: harry i can't sleep tonight. i miss you loads and wish you were here with me.

Harry: i'm sorry you can't fall asleep, love. you know i wish more than anything i was with you right now. breaks my heart when you can't sleep and then complain of how tired you are the next day. how about you take one of my t-shirts from my drawer and sleep with it on. i think that will help.

Y/N: ok i will.

Harry: send me a photo of you in the shirt you choose. wanna see how sexy you look in my clothes.

Y/N: k

Y/N: *photo* *standing in front of the mirror wearing his white t-shirt with the band Kiss on the front*

Harry: holy fuck. you look amazing babe. well sleep tight. i gotta take care of some business now.

(by business he didn't mean meetings. seeing you in his shirt did things to him and he needed to, you know, jerk one out.)

{LHH - boyfriend!harry}

Y/N: H, i can't sleep tonight.

Harry: sorry to hear that. i know what can help. go to my special drawer and get some 🌿 to smoke. i know that stuff always makes you sleepy.

Y/N: ok, are you sure though? what if i have a bad reaction?

Harry: yes i'm sure. and you won't. just take a few hits. not too much. then get cozy in my bed. should knock you right out. but if you need anything just call me. i'll answer, alright.

Y/N: ok, yeah. i'll do that.

Harry: and you remember how to set up the blunt right?

Y/N: yes harry. i'm not 5.

Harry: okayyy, was just making sure. night. love you.

{Dunkirk Harry - fiancée!harry}

Y/N: harry i can't fall asleep.

Harry: awe baby, sorry to hear that. did you take your prescribed sleep pills?

Y/N: yes like 2 hours ago. and they're not working tonight.

Harry: i tell you what, give me about 10 minutes and i'll sneak away to facetime you. would you like that? i could sing you to sleep. you pick the song.

Y/N: omg please. and i pick sweet creature. your voice is so soft and relaxing when you sing that song.

Harry: ok 10 minutes, hang on darling.

{Fine Line Harry - husband!harry}

Y/N: babe, i can't fall asleep for the life of me. wish you were here to help. 😭

Harry: i wish i was there too, baby.

Harry: i know what will do the trick. touch yourself, love.

Y/N: WHAT?

Harry: i'm not messing about. touch that pretty pussy of yours. you know when you orgasm you get all sleepy. and i would touch you myself if i were there but since i'm not your hand will just have to do. or your vibrator. whatever you choose.

Y/N: fine... but, can you at least get me going.

Harry: sure 😏 *photo of his erect cock standing tall and proud with his ringed hand wrapped around the base*

Y/N: fuck. are you touching yourself too?

Harry: yep. couldn't not after picturing you rubbing that little clit of yours. got me going instantly.

{Love on Tour Harry - husband!harry}

Y/N: i can't sleep :(

Harry: why are you texting me this? i'm just getting out the shower. in OUR house. i'll be in there in just a second.

Y/N: didn't feel like yelling it to you.

Harry: let me brush my teeth and i'll come put you to sleep.

Y/N: mhm, yeah, how?

Harry: oh, i'll show you how alright. better be naked when i walk in.

Y/N: bet.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet // @meetmyblondemuffins // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles // @skyangel57 // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss // @kissmyaxe14 // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom // @swiftmendeshoran

// @luv-flor7777 // @alohastyles-x // @tenaciousperfectionunknown // @sleutherclaw // @siredtohybrid // @whoscamila // @a-strange-familiar // @golden-elodie // @mrspeacem1nusone // @goldenkhae // @lntwithharry // @shadowygladiatorlight // @manifestrry //@mendesblurb // @sunshinemoonsposts // @depersonalizationsucks // @academiaghost // @zendayassimp // @reveriehs // @vsnnstuff // @dancinsunflowerkiwi // @quinnsgrapejuice // @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite // @justlemmeholdyou // @stylesmygucci // @hsonlyangelxo // @luvonstyles // @howdey

______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

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one-time-i-dreamt · 4 months

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I asked Harry Styles for his height and he wrote down a site on a piece of paper and smiled at me and walked away.

#dream #text #harry styles #height #queueueueueueueueueueueueueue

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becauseheartsgetbroken-hs · 26 days

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where's harry? i want to boop him.

#harry styles #boop #one direction #text

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freedomfireflies · 1 year

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iFall For Harry

Part Two to this request!

Summary: Turns out, the stranger in your phone is kind of funny...

...and kind of sexy, too.

Oh, my god.

Harry, did you hear the news?

It takes exactly three and a half minutes for those familiar little bubbles to pop up.

Well hello to you, too.

No, what happened?

You struggle to contain a rather giddy grin as you begin to type, A cheese factory exploded in France!

Wait, really? Shit, what happened?

I don’t know. But all that was left was…de brie.

Exactly sixty seconds pass before he begins to type.

Fuck.

I think I just snorted.

That was…goddammit that was good.

You don’t even know what he looks like, but you chuckle at the idea of him laughing so hard he can’t help but snort.

Thank you, thank you.

Took me two weeks to come up with that.

I’m impressed.

Little offended, too.

Oh? Your heart sinks.

Yeah.

Kept me on the edge of my seat for two fucking weeks wondering if I’d hear from you again.

Shit.

You smirk to yourself as you flop down onto your sofa and think through a response.

Hey, it takes two to tango, pal. You could have texted me, too.

The bubbles make your heart pound.

Alright, that’s fair.

In my defense, I didn’t have any more cheese puns.

Oh, is that all this is, then?

You just use me for dad jokes?

Psh, nooooooo…

Then, another text.

Although, the jokes do make my days…cheddar.

You laugh a little louder, suddenly very aware of the flush in your face over some stranger in your phone.

No, wait. How do I erase a text?

I hated that.

Seriously, how do I make it go away?

My failure is staring me in the face, and I hate it.

You giggle under your breath.

Easy, Grandpa.

Relax, just press down until the options pop up.

The conversation goes quiet for a brief moment before you watch his previous text vanish from the screen with a dramatic, poof!

Then, he begins typing again.

Hold on…

Did you just call me Grandpa?

…psh, noooooooo

Oh, so that’s how it is?

That’s how it is.

Wow, and we had such a nice thing going, too.

To be fair, you never told me your age, and you don’t even know how to delete a text.

What am I supposed to think?

First of all: rude.

Respect your elders.

Second of all: this deleting shit is NEW, okay, and I just updated my phone, like…a week ago, so I never learned.

Uh-huh.

No, yeah, whatever you say, Grandps.

He responds with the emoji that’s rolling its eyes.

You smirk.

For your information, I’m 29.

Okay, which is a cool, hip, fun, and very fresh age.

Yes, I believe that’s the slogan for the retirement home, too.

“We’re cool, we’re slick, and we might break a hip.”

There’s a longer pause between your text and his response. You hope it’s because he’s laughing. It’s not your best work, but you think it’s funny.

And then, you get the notification.

Dammit, that place sounds so much cooler than the retirement home I’m in now.

Send me the address? I’ll wheel myself over.

You got it, Old Man. Will you need any help crossing the street?

How thoughtful of you. Yeah, that’d be great, and then you can finally earn your Girl Scout badge.

Oh, my God. How did you know it was the last one I needed?

Cause I’m old. And therefore wise.

Oh, right, right. No, that checks out.

Yeah.

You lean back, forcing your eyes away from your phone to finally get a moment of reprieve from the excessive smiling. Why is this so fun?

I guess 29 isn’t so bad. Just…three years older than me.

Ah, another piece to the Cheese Girl puzzle.

You’re 26.

Indeed.

26 was fun.

I liked 26.

Yeah, it’s not too bad so far.

Just wait until your bones start to creak whenever you get out of bed.

I’ll keep a can of oil on my nightstand.

You grimace to yourself. Your worst joke to date, and you just hope you haven’t blown it.

Probably smart.

My preferred method is lube, but…

Whatever works.

Your eyes widen.

Oh?

Yeah.

My bones might creak but at least I can still fuck.

Well…shit.

You readjust your position on the sofa, desperately working to find a cool and relaxed and equally mysterious reply.

…so, no pressure.

Just be careful with all that lube.

Wouldn’t want you to slip and fall.

Hope you’ve got Life Alert on speed dial.

Oh, I absolutely do. They love me over there.

You smirk to yourself, fighting yet another laugh.

Yeah? Thank God.

Boy, I bet you’re a real stud with the ladies, huh?

Damn fucking right.

This grandpa has moves.

I bet. Yeah, women love a man that squeaks when he thrusts.

They do, actually. I happen to squeak quite sensually.

Is that right?

It is.

Damn.

Might need to hear that for myself someday.

It was bold. Perhaps a little daring, and you don’t give yourself a chance to overthink it before turning your phone off and tossing it onto the other side of the sofa.

You give it five minutes before checking to see if he’s replied.

Thankfully, you have two notifications, delivered 3 minutes ago.

Yeah?

So what’s stopping you?

What is stopping you?

Probably a number of things, but instead of pointing out that he’s a complete stranger and could very well be a catfish (or even worse…that he might not even find you attractive) you decide to go with another joke.

All these Girl Scout cookies I gotta sell :/

Shit.

Yeah.

What if I bought a hundred boxes?

Then you’d have to hand deliver them to my door, right?

Your eyes roll playfully as you sigh.

That IS the Girl Scout policy, yes.

We pride ourselves on good service.

Fantastic, then I’ll take 100 boxes in the flavor of you.

Your lashes flutter as you reread the text, over, and over, and over. But before you can spiral…he’s sending another.

…shit, that was meant to be smooth.

Get it, cause…like, you know, get a taste of YOU. Like…if you were a cookie.

Cause…I wanna taste you…

Explaining it makes it worse, doesn’t it?

It should make it worse, but for some reason…he’s funny? And charming? And making your thighs squeeze together—

I think that can be arranged, yeah.

I’ll package them up nice and pretty, just for you.

Equally as cheesy, but apparently…cheese is where you both shine.

You hope he’s at least somewhat amused, and when he finally responds, your stomach flips.

This conversation is bad for my health.

Yeah?

Why’s that?

Because I’m in a meeting and I’m about to have a heart attack.

…why are you about to have a heart attack?

Oh, right. I forgot that happens at your old age.

Ha.

Funny.

Good thing you have Life Alert on speed dial.

Yeah, I don’t think Life Alert is gonna be able to help.

No? Why not?

Cause only one thing can save me now.

Cookies.

Your cookies.

To be exact.

See? Cheesy.

Wow, I was almost turned on and then…

Nope, there it goes.

Oh, is that what we’re doing? We’re trying to turn each other on?

Well, why didn’t you SAY so?

Hold on, I’ve got a few good ones.

Oh god.

Alright, here we go.

So…

What are you wearing?

…really? That’s all you’ve got?

Work with me please.

My gosh.

Clothes.

I have clothes on.

Yeah?

That’s a shame.

Two minutes go by without him adding anything else, and you can’t help but laugh when you realize that’s all he’s got.

Wowwwwww…

No, that was so good. I’m…holy shit, you just took my breath away. I’m so turned on right now.

I mean, my panties just FLEW across the room!

You’re THAT good!

Okay, very funny.

I wasn’t done.

No, really. You gotta warn a girl before you just completely rock her world like that.

Honestly, I feel a little faint.

Where did you learn such a masterful technique? Really, you should teach a class on sexting, cause that was just…phew.

Listen, I was just trying to take it easy on you.

You know, ease you into my seduction before I gave it to you good and hard.

The last bit of his sentence has you stumbling over a gasp, but you simply clear your throat and work to find a response.

You have two options:

Either you tease him a bit more…

…or you ramp up the tension.

Well, by all means, Harry…

Give it to me good.

And hard.

He doesn’t respond for quite some time to this. And while you’d like to tell yourself that it’s because he’s just so turned on by your response…

…it’s more likely that you definitely fucked up and he wants nothing more to do with you.

But then…your phone dings.

Is that what you want then, hm?

Want it rough?

Shit, shit, shit.

Yeah.

If you think you can keep up.

Trust me, sweetheart, that won’t be a problem.

If you want it rough, I’m more than happy to oblige.

Is that why you texted me today?

Needed my help?

Truth be told, you don’t know why you texted him today, but you certainly aren’t upset with how things are going.

Me? Needing YOUR help?

Cute, but I think my fingers and I can manage just fine.

His response comes so fast, your head spins:

…fuck.

You smile.

Shit, okay now this conversation is REALLY bad for my health.

I might keel over right here in this meeting.

My death is on your hands, Cheese Girl.

Worth it.

You watch the bubbles float onto your screen for a good thirty seconds before they disappear.

Then, they appear again…just to dissipate before you can get your hopes up.

Finally—finally…a text.

Okay, listen, you don’t know me.

And I don’t know you.

I get that.

I’m a stranger, you’re a stranger.

But…

And hear me out…

What would you say to a phone call?

Your pulse stutters as you stare at his proposition, but he’s already sending his next text before you can decide if you’re really that stupid or not.

I know that’s asking a lot, but…

If you promise that you aren’t a 90-year-old man, and I promise I’m not some kid playing video games in his mom’s basement…

We could at least…have a real conversation.

And make sure that we really are who we say we are, you know?

And I could be assured that I didn’t just get a fucking boner in the middle of a busy boardroom cause of some perverted, internet creep that makes cheese jokes.

You hesitate.

Despite yourself, you are intrigued by the idea.

Worst-case scenario if he is some loser…you can just hang up and block his number.

And if he’s not…and he’s half as hot as you’re starting to hope he is…

You swallow.

Thickly.

I am not some perverted, internet creep that makes cheese jokes.

I’m just a regular creep that makes cheese jokes.

Promise.

And…yeah.

I would be okay with a phone call.

As long as you do in fact promise I won’t regret it and that it won’t result in nightmares that haunt me for the rest of my life.

Ah, well…

Can’t say much for the regret…

But I do promise that I will try very hard not to give you nightmares.

God, are you really doing this?

Are you really doing this?

Alright, then…

Oh, so you’re doing it. You’re really that dumb. You really just let a complete stranger convince you to call him, even though he could be a serial killer, or a psycho, or—

Your phone rings.

You see his name pop up in large print as the cellphone just about flies out of your hand.

Scrambling to keep it steady, you lurch forward and collect a deep breath.

You can do this.

You’ll give him thirty seconds. And if he seems creepy…you’ll hang up, and you’ll move on.

And you’ll never get random boys in bars numbers again.

You press your thumb into the button on your screen and slide it to the right.

Here goes nothing.

“…hello?”

~ iFall for Harry pt. 3 (the third part to this!)

~ Full iFall for Harry Masterlist

~ More Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

Tag List:

@tinyhrry @supersanelyromantic @lomlhstyles

#harry #harry edward styles #harry styles #harry styles fan #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles request #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles text #ifall for harry #harry and cheese girl

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emilys-house · 7 months

Text

Types of Harry replying to…A sexy photo ✰

AN: There’s no fetus Harry as it felt weird to include him in this as he’s literally a child. Anyway please reblog if you enjoy ✌️

Contains: Sexy Photos, Roadman Harry 😂, Swearing

{Sorry for any grammar, punctuation or spelling mistakes, I failed all of my English exams 😂}

Masterlist ✰

Fratboy Harry:

Prince Hair Harry:

Long Hair Harry:

Dunkirk/HS1 Harry:

Fine line Harry:

Current Harry:

Roadman Harry (I’m sorry for this 😂):

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jarofstyles · 2 years

Note

Blurb or texts for Sugardaddy vamprry😏 I miss my babies

VAMPRRY!!!!!!

H = Harry’s text

🌸= Y/N’s

——

H: Hello. I was wondering what that smell was?

🌸: oh! I’m baking sugar cookies with the staff. :)

🌸: would you like some?

H: Oh, no thank you. A generous offer but, I’ll be tasting them later regardless.

🌸: ???

🌸: WAIT. Ohhhhhhh.

🌸: you can taste what I’ve been eating?

H: I can taste hints of it, yes.

🌸: …. Oh

🌸: so you know… when I’ve had Taco Bell?

H: Yes.

🌸: ok so weird question

H: I will give an honest answer.

🌸: what do you like to taste on me

🌸: I mean in my blood. Do you like sweets? Anything specific?

H: I like when you’ve had sweets, fruit or red wine.

H: Your blood is wonderful as it is. But I enjoy trying every variation.

H: Please, do not alter your diet in the hopes of pleasing me. Having you here is enough.

🌸: I mean, you just gave me a lovely excuse to eat sweets and drink wine so

🌸: gonna be tasting a lot of that soon! 🤪

H: I still do not understand these face picture things. But as you wish.

🌸: emojis?

🌸: lol… you’re so cute 🥰

H: Hm. I do enjoy that one.

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harrywavycurly · 1 year

Note

Sarah! I was just seeing if you’d be willing to do a Harry text with his gf who gave her seat up at a show to a fan or traded seats with someone because I feel like that’s something I’d do if i was dating Harry 🥰🥰

Hiii babes!! Awe I love this because same I’d be handing out pit wristbands left and right 😂 I hope you enjoy this!💖

-find all things boyfriend Harry Styles here✨

*Harry knows you like to give you seat up and you like how many people are dressed like fruits*