#had the strangest freaking dream last night about this....
Text
POV: You marry a clone trooper
#frosts fandom freakouts#star wars#had the strangest freaking dream last night about this....#anyway#here have a meme
633 notes
·
View notes
Text
Asks cause I'm bored and horny!
1:When did you lose your virginity?
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
5: Favourite sex position?
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
12: How often do you have sex?
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
35: Worst possible time to get horny:
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?
37: How much fapping is too much fapping:
38: Best sexual complement you ever got:
39: Favorite foreplay activities:
40: What do you wear to bed?
41: When was the first time you masturbated:
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
53: Do you watch porn?
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?
57: If you could give yourself head, would you?
58: Booty or Boobs?
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)
65. What is your bra/penis size?
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?
67. When was the last time you masturbated?
68. When was the last time you had sex?
69. When was the last time you watched porn?
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?
71. Guys:Circumsized?
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?
77. Which wet dream was your favorite?
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?
80. Favorite sexual position?
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?
82. Are you into any BDSM?
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?
84. Do you like dirty talk?
85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?
86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?
92. Ask whatever you want
89 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey Rome! 👋🏽
What do you think about a Multiverse of Hotch’s? Like I have a pipe dream where maybe Aaron and reader aren’t together yet but maybe Haley from another universe shows Aaron what happens in other universes where they’re together and when they’re not? And it prompts Hotch to action to ask out and confess his feelings to his universe’s reader?
oh my god you're really appealing to the portion of my brain that was completely consumed by miles morales across the multiverse.
I can just see this, maybe Hotch is having a really fitful sleep one night and he takes something to help him sleep a little better, some melatonin or something, but then he finds himself in the strangest dream.
Suddenly he's staring at Haley, from four years ago, the last time they were happy together, and she's giving him a knowing look, AHH LIKE THE BARBIE SCENE, he walks over to her wanting to talk and the lighting is shifting colours around them in a big empty space, and she says "take my hand" and asks him why he's choosing not to be happy? he's so confused, he just doesn't understand what she's asking him.
She asks him what he thinks a soulmate is. He finds his answer easier than he had expected to, somebody who makes you feel whole. Somebody you can't imagine yourself without. Your hearts and your souls find themselves inextricably intertwined one day and then your whole view of the world shifts. They're the person who makes your world turn. He's thinking of Haley but she makes him close his eyes, and think about his life right now.
Who's the one person you want to run to when you're afraid, Aaron?
He knows his answer, Y/N. But he holds it back. It was supposed to be Haley, he thinks.
Who's the one person who can see right through your frowns and your guarded exterior, who can see the real Aaron no matter what?
Y/N, he thinks again. He feels bad this time, thinking about how even at their best, Haley could only see him the way he was when they had met, as they both grew up, she stopped being able to see him for who he was now. It freaks him out sometimes, actually, how the very moment in a social situation he realises nobody's asked him for his input in a while, your head will spin, take one brief look at him and ask him the exact question that flew through his mind mere moments before. You sweep him off of his feet with it, sometimes, he wonders at what point a person goes from profiler to psychic.
Aaron. Why aren't you letting yourself be happy with them, then?
Aaron can't help but think now that Haley was meant to be his soulmate, that was his chance at true love and he failed her. He's not sure he deserves another chance, and wouldn't it be wrong of him to love you without all of him in it? The pieces of him that died with Haley are holding him back. He doesn't want to offer you only the parts of him that remain.
"Close your eyes, Aaron." He obeys. His vision swims with a face much like Y/N's, only they're wearing a military uniform, muddied frags and dirt under their fingernails, but their smile is the same, bright, sunny sight he recognises from his sweetest dreams and from his warmest days at work, when he gets to spend time with you. You're growing smaller in his vision as the picture gets further away, he can now see you smiling at another uniformed officer, only this one... looks like him?
'He begins to wonder why Haley has brought him here when the image warps again, this time he can see you down at the beach, wearing a wetsuit with a surfboard under your arm, your hair is lighter here, and the uninterrupted sunshine makes your eyes sparkle even more. You throw your board down on the sand, turning to Aaron and motioning him to come closer. confused, he takes a step, but another surfer runs right by him, full speed towards the ocean, board under his arm. He turns as he runs past Y/N, smiling and calling out 'I'm gonna beat you!' It's him. Again. Your bubbly laugh erupts in his ears as you stagger to your feet, running after surfer aaron towards the crashing waves.
The next moment, Aaron finds himself standing in a quiet Parisian cafe, you're donning an apron and a frown as you sweep, picking up chairs as you go. Aaron wonders why you seem so sullen in this scene when he notices a man seated in the corner, even under a hat and thick framed glasses, aaron can see himself. He looks longingly at the server as he taps his fingers against the table, shaking his head and turning his attention back to his laptop, trying to go back to work. Aaron thinks he might be starting to see what's going on here as his vision changes again.
Now he sees himself, from just last week, when he came to visit Haley's grave, having felt guilty for not visiting in so long, he brought fresh cut flowers to replace the dried old ones left in the holder. Aaron can't help but notice the bags under his eyes, the slump of his shoulders. Every other Aaron he's seen today looked so full of hope or joy, but this one seems so plagued by guilt, weighed down by the shadows of his past.
Aaron's vision swims once more as he finds himself back where this dream began, his large hands are in haley's smaller ones as tears gather in his eyes, he looks around the previously empty space, seeing dozens of happy couples, some swinging a small boy between their interlaced hands as they walk, others are just basking in each other's embrace, quietly enjoying the others' company. Every couple looks like a slightly altered version of himself and Y/N. In some, aaron is younger, some older. One of the couples looks to be 95, a blanket draped over their legs as they both share the warmth of one armchair, a photo album in their laps. Even they look so happy.
"Aaron." Haley brings his attention back to her. he blinks away tears, looking at her.
"Soulmates will find one another in every universe, every time. Whether you take the leap to be with them, is up to you. But I wish you'd let yourself be happy, honey. I know there's obstacles, there always are, but obstacles are frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. So keep your eyes on Y/N. Don't lose sight of what makes you happy."
A loud buzzing wakes Aaron up, he sees the tiniest sliver of sunlight rising over the horizon and entering his bedroom as he turns off his alarm. His chest is heaving and his eyes are still pooling with tears as he realises he's been holding himself back from you all this time. He's spent all of his time considering the past and none of it contemplating the fact that he can have a future.
That changes today. Today he's going to make the leap.
anon! I actually want to kiss you on the lips for giving me this idea! and i'm so willing to make it into a full fic if you wish me to but I just had to throw down my thoughts on this now bc my mind is spilling over with thoughts about this. I love those 'in every universe' posts i'm such a sap for destiny.
#anon mail!#rome's got mail!#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#haley brooks#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner oneshot#hotch imagine#hotch oneshot#hotch x reader#hotch x you#aaron hotchner x you
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Ultimate Relationship Tag – Ace & Beck
Thanks @rebouks for the reblog to us!! I thought this would be a perfect way to understand this couple.
Disagreements:
Who is more likely to raise their voice? Beck
Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Beck
Who keeps their word and leaves? Ace, but he always comes back.
Who trashes the house? They are both neat freaks. Both are a little OCD, Beck more than Ace.
Do either of them get physical? no
How often do they argue/disagree? At least once a week, mostly small stuff
Who is the first to apologize? Beck
Sex:
Who is on top? Beck
Who is on the bottom? Ace
Who has the strangest desires? Ace
Any kinks? Beck likes domination at times.
Who’s dominant in bed? Beck
Is head ever in the equation? Definitely
If so, who is better at performing it? Ace
Ever had sex in public? Yes
Who moans the most? Ace
Who leaves the most marks? Beck
Who screams the loudest? Ace
Who is the more experienced of the two? Flip a coin
Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Both, depends on the mood.
Rough or soft? Again, depends on the mood.
How long do they usually last? Ace lasts longer most of the time, but Beck cane come multiple times, so 15 minutes to 2 hours.
Is protection used? no
Does it ever get boring? rare
Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Under the bridge in San Myshuno
Affection:
Who likes to cuddle? Ace
Who is the little spoon? Ace
Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Ace
Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Ace
How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? About twenty minutes, then Beck has to stop.
Who gives the most kisses? Ace
What is their favorite non-sexual activity? Massages
Where is their favorite place to cuddle? On the sofa watching TV
Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Ace
How often do they get time to themselves? They always seem to make time!
Sleeping:
Who snores? Beck, Ace rarely, only when he has a cold.
If both do, who snores the loudest? Ace when he has a cold.
Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Share a bed.
If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? When they first lay down, they cuddle, but Beck is the first to turn over
Who talks in their sleep? Ace
What do they wear to bed? Beck- briefs / Ace - Nada
Are either of your muses insomniacs? Occasionally Ace has bouts of insomnia.
Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? no
Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? limbs
Who wakes up with bed hair? Beck, Ace has kept his buzzed short
Who wakes up first? Beck
Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Beck
What is their favorite sleeping position? Beck, on his left side / Ace on his stomach
Who hogs the sheets? Ace
Do they set an alarm each night? Yes
Can a television be found in their bedroom? Yes
Who has nightmares? Ace
Who has ridiculous dreams? Ace
Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Ace
Who makes the bed? Generally, whoever gets up last, which is Ace
What time is bedtime? Midnight, most nights
Any routines/rituals before bed? Ace must shower before bed and as soon as he gets up.
Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Ace
Work:
Who is the busiest? Beck
Who rakes in the highest income? Beck
Are any of your muses unemployed? No
Who takes the most sick days? Not an issue, both love their jobs.
Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Both work from home
Who sucks up to their boss? Beck, as Ace is self-employed/Freelance
What are their jobs? Beck is CFO / Ace Freelance photographer, and they both flip houses.
Who stresses the most? Beck
Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Both love their jobs, but Beck sometimes becomes aggravated the most.
Are your muses financially stable? Yes
Home:
Who does the washing? Ace
Who takes out the trash? Beck
Who does the ironing? They send out to the dry cleaners for that.
Who does the cooking? Share that responsibility, but mostly Beck.
Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Not an issue
Who is messier? Neither they both have ODC, but Beck says it is Ace
Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Again, OCD
Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Neither
Who forgets to flush the toilet? Neither
Who is the prankster around the house? Ace
Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Beck
Who mows the lawn? Hired out
Who answers the telephone? No home phone, only cell phones
Who does the vacuuming? They have a housekeeper that comes three twice a week.
Who does the groceries? They do it together or have the housekeeper do it if they are busy.
Who takes the longest shower? Ace
Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Ace
Miscellaneous:
Is money a problem? No
How many cars do they own? Each has their car, and they have a jeep
Do they own their home or do they rent? Own
Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? The Pinnacles in DSV
Do they live in the city or in the country? City
Do they enjoy their surroundings? Love it!!
What’s their song? Million Reasons – Lady Gaga
What do they do when they’re away from each other? Work
Where did they first meet? At a bar
How did they first meet? Ace was bartending at the club FLUX and he hit on Beck.
Who spends the most money when out shopping? Ace
Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Beck
Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Ace
Any mental issues? Hmmm, OCD both
Who’s terrified of bugs? Ace
Who kills the spiders around the house? Beck
Their favorite place? Home
Who pays the bills? Beck or their accountant
Do they have any fears for their future? Ace, being alone / Beck, losing all their Money
Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Beck
Who uses up all of the hot water? Ace
Who’s the tallest? Beck
Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Beck
Who wanders around in their underwear? Ace
Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Ace
What do they tease each other about? Who is more like their mother or father
Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Beck, well the lack of clothing, period
Do they have mutual friends? Yes
Who crushed first? Ace
Any alcohol or substance related problems? None
Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Neither
Who swears the most? Ace
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you have an answer to these ?
1:When did you lose your virginity?
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
5: Favourite sex position?
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
12: How often do you have sex?
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
35: Worst possible time to get horny:
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?
37: How much fapping is too much fapping:
38: Best sexual complement you ever got:
39: Favorite foreplay activities:
40: What do you wear to bed?
41: When was the first time you masturbated:
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
53: Do you watch porn?
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?
57: If you could give yourself head, would you?
58: Booty or Boobs?
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)
65. What is your bra/penis size?
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?
67. When was the last time you masturbated?
68. When was the last time you had sex?
69. When was the last time you watched porn?
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?
71. Guys:Circumsized?
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?
77. Which wet dream was your favorite?
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?
80. Favorite sexual position?
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?
82. Are you into any BDSM?
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?
84. Do you like dirty talk?
85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?
86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?
92. Ask whatever you want.
1 note
·
View note
Text
NSFW ASKS
SEND ME A NUMBER
1: When did you lose your virginity?
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
5: Favourite sex position?
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
12: How often do you have sex?
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
35: Worst possible time to get horny:
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?
37: How much fapping is too much fapping:
38: Best sexual complement you ever got:
39: Favorite foreplay activities:
40: What do you wear to bed?
41: When was the first time you masturbated:
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
53: Do you watch porn?
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?
57: If you could give yourself head, would you?
58: Booty or Boobs?
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)
65. What is your bra/penis size?
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?
67. When was the last time you masturbated?
68. When was the last time you had sex?
69. When was the last time you watched porn?
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?
71. Guys:Circumsized?
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?
77. Which wet dream was your favorite?
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?
80. Favorite sexual position?
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?
82. Are you into any BDSM?
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?
84. Do you like dirty talk?
85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?
86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?
92. Ask whatever you want
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay I had the strangest dream last night and I'm freaking out about it. I was in a relationship with my ex best friend (the one who just stopped talking to me) and like yeah I had a small crush on her but it's been years. It like opened up some repressed feelings and now I like idk how to feel about it. Should I text her? Help please
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just had the strangest dream last night.
I was going to travel/had already traveled to Germany for some reason. At first, I was all alone and I entered this huge, tall apartment building with a narrow, scary-looking elevator (you know those see-through elevators with cages). I could barely fit into that thing and when it started moving through different levels, I quickly began to feel like a caged animal that could see itself falling to its death at any given time.
First I made it into some kind of a cafeteria/restaurant kind of room and I had something to eat there. Nothing really memorable even happened there but the next thing I knew, I was already in my hotel room. I had no idea how I'd even gotten there or what my room number was. But I made a call from there - I called my uncle I guess - to inform him that I had already arrived.
I recall I soon left outside again to maybe look around or pick up some groceries and I finally hit the streets. It was dark out there everywhere - but not too dark so I couldn't see anything - and for some reason, there were suddenly wild animals crawling everywhere on the streets. At first, there were alligators (wtf), and the further I walked, I started seeing more snakes (vipera berus mostly) that were hissing at me and I had to watch out for them so I wouldn't actually step on them. And then there were little rodents and rabbits trying to escape those snakes.
The further I went everything started to make even less sense to me and I was getting further away from the hotel and already getting a little lost, soon forgetting where I even came from. So I fumbled for my phone and checked Google Maps and I was informed that I was actually somewhere in California. How the hell had I even managed to get there when I was supposed to be in Germany!? I don't know but I was so freaked out.
So in my dream, I knew that I have some relatives living in California (I actually have!), so I tried going through my contacts to see if I have any of their numbers (ofc I don't and why would I huh). So then I ended up calling my uncle again and I was getting desperate because I was lost and I couldn't remember the name of the hotel either so I could look it up. My uncle had finally answered his phone but then he told me that he couldn't remember the name of the hotel and that he was tired and wanted to go to sleep. And I burst into tears in that dream and screamed at him that 'I'm lost somewhere in 'freaking California and my phone's about to die, please help me!' (my phone's battery was at 8% and fading).
After that, I either woke up or then I forgot what happened next. So I don't know what happened after that. But phew, it was so strange. Kinda creepy too.
#personal#my dreams are always weird or just borderline horror if they're not actual nightmares#i don't know what to call this#but it wasn't pleasant that's for sure
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
FemLit 0417 - NSFW Asks
NSFW ASKS.
1:When did you lose your virginity?
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
5: Favourite sex position?
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
12: How often do you have sex?
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
35: Worst possible time to get horny:
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?
37: How much fapping is too much fapping:
38: Best sexual complement you ever got:
39: Favorite foreplay activities:
40: What do you wear to bed?
41: When was the first time you masturbated:
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
53: Do you watch porn?
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?
57: If you could give yourself head, would you?
58: Booty or Boobs?
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?
Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?
What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)
What is your bra/penis size?
What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?
When was the last time you masturbated?
When was the last time you had sex?
When was the last time you watched porn?
Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?
Guys:Circumsized?
Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?
Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?
Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?
When was the last time you have had a wet dream?
Which wet dream was your favorite?
Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?
Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?
Favorite sexual position?
Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?
Are you into any BDSM?
Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?
Do you like dirty talk?
Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?
Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?
What kind of porn do you like to watch?
Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?
Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?
Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?
Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?
Ask whatever you want
0 notes
Text
A Night on the Town
Let me tell you, folks, last night was one for the books, or maybe for the trash, who knows? So there I was, at my favorite dive bar, the one that smells like a hobo's armpit and serves beer as flat as the Earth – according to those flat-earther nutjobs. And then, bam! The bartender, the almighty gatekeeper of booze, cuts me off! Me, of all people! Like I'm some kind of degenerate, when really, I'm a staple of this fine city, a cornerstone of cultural decay.
Now, I don't take that sorta thing sitting down, no sir. I let him have it, served him a heaping plate of Lowtax's wrath, which tastes a bit like stale nachos and desperation, if you're wondering. But then, whaddaya know, he tosses me out on my ass like I'm yesterday's garbage! The gall of that man!
So, screw that guy and his high horse, or high barstool, or whatever. I stumble, wobble, and saunter my way to the next dump, and it's full of fancy drinks with ingredients you can't even pronounce. I mean, who needs a Smoked Hibiscus Elderberry Sazerac anyway? Not me, that's for sure!
I was sitting there, lost in a haze of booze and self-indulgence, the bitter stench of spilled alcohol permeating the air as the bar seemed to sway with each resounding note of "Piano Man." It was one of those nights, where reality and delusion collide in a cacophony of Hunter S. Thompson-esque debauchery. A night where I could almost see the good doctor himself, perched on a barstool in the corner, clad in aviator sunglasses and chewing on a cigarette holder, muttering something about the American Dream and the cruel mistress of intoxication.
And then, like some deranged fairy tale, I meet the strangest cast of characters. There's the guy with the raccoon, trying to sell me the freaking "Mona Lisa," or some crap like that. Then, Mr. Pretentious Poet, spewing nonsense about the moon and the stars and other stuff nobody really cares about. Well, one thing leads to another, and I'm trading blows with this wordsmith – turns out I'm a poet with my fists, who knew?
Anyway, so I'm stumbling around like a drunk marionette, and I meet this other guy, a regular Indiana Jones, talking about hidden treasure in an old warehouse. Treasure, you say? Sounds like a terrible idea, sign me up! Off we go, into the night, or maybe it was daytime, who can even tell anymore?
And there it was, the warehouse of legend, filled with gold, or rats, or, uh, moldy newspapers. It's hard to say. I don't know how it happened, really, one minute we're playing detective, the next minute we're amateur arsonists. Accidental, I swear! My lighter must've been possessed by some fire demon, or maybe it was just faulty, who can say?
So there I stood, watching this beautiful inferno, a veritable symphony of destruction, with the flames licking at the sky like the Devil's own tongue. It was a sight to behold, like a twisted work of art, or maybe it was just an old warehouse burning down, who can even tell?
But hey, no harm, no foul, right? Just a bunch of rats and pigeons out of a home, and it's not like they were paying rent or anything. Maybe they can file for insurance, or get a nice little nest egg from FEMA. Yeah, that's it. It's all part of the circle of life, or the circle of property damage, whichever comes first.
So that's my story of a night gone haywire, all because some self-righteous bartender thought I'd had enough. Well, joke's on him, 'cause I've got a hangover that could slay a dragon, and memories that'll last me 'til the next bender. And you know what they say, when life hands you lemons, just burn down a warehouse and call it a day. Or something like that.
0 notes
Text
so I had the strangest dream last night.
I was on a hike and came across this wired western town but it was on the water, i decided to take a break there. the town was almost like one of those out of the way side road attractions.
I sat down at one point by these odd tropical looking plants and there was this green viper with yellow eyes. I think I told someone in the dream about it and they said to leave it alone but the viper had already decided to wrap itself around my left arm and rest it's head by my hand, it stared at me.
I freaked out a little and told someone what the snake had done. that person was like, “we'll be there in a minute.” while the whole time this viper kept tightening its hold on my arm.
There was this strange message/feeling to it like it was claiming me. I think it said mine at one point. So I freaked out even more and slowly went to put my other hand by its head with the intent to lock it's head and pull it off.
Someone warned me not to do that but of course i'm an idiot and tried to do it anyways. the viper struck hard on my hand and became very angry. it really dug it's fangs into my hand leaving a huge gash before it bit into my arm. i think i screamed in the dream and people rushed around me and someone said, “i told you to leave it alone. it would have gone away on its own eventually.”
that's when i passed out in the dream. I woke up to actual pain in my hand. like my hand felt like it was burning.
I could really use a dream interpretation on this one.
#dream interpretation#dream interpreters#witch#witchcraft#witchcraft advice#witchcraft help#dream#dreams
0 notes
Text
Had the strangest little dream about RYAN BEATTY
Like i can’t even......
It was like we were in florida in a fancy group christmas house for christmas
and we were in this basement like room, watching an adult cartoon. Like something Family guy/rick and morty/robot chicken esq. But it wasn’t one that i recognize. Either i didnt know it or it wa American Dad lol
Anyway, they were clowning Ryan BEatty the whole episode. Like the whole episode was about trashing him and making fun of his “story” There were details that were specific to ryan but im hesitant to focus on them because i think this could ultimately represent a broader message on Liam.
(Im manic sorry bare with me) 1:44
But basically they were like “oh he was supposed to be the next justin bieber but then he disappeared for 7 years and now he’s gay” just like bullshit that i knew wasnt true. And i couldnt wrap my head around why they had chosen ryan to make fun of, like no one knows him?? And it felt personal like what vendetta did they have to him? And they were so inaccurate, so to have a whole episode on it?
And i was freaking out!! Like telling everyone im the biggest ryan fan to exist. i know this stuff is wrong, this is insane, he’s so niche. So im like rewinding a bunch of times to explain things to people, and even then in my head i was like “im gonna hav4e to find this episode and anaylze it fully when i get home”
They were literally playing powerslide, and like......god in jeans in the show it was WILD.
Just so weird.
Then we were dort of drinking and smoking. On a house that was virtually one the water. OH YEA, we were at Fripp Island?/
And our house, like the basement room was connected to a back patio, that was basically a dock. And there was a hottub and a bar right by the water.
So at one point in the dream. I was dressed to the nines, so hot but very drunk. It was the end of the night and i was trying to get all my things, get changed, shower maybe, and just go to bed.
Like i was like, im way drunker than i should be. And for some reason there were a significant amount of people who werent our family?? in the house. Or like DISTANT family. And like “family of family” like for example. Jennifer V and her husband and HER 7 little kid cousins from her other side thats not related to us. Like just random and people we didnt know like that, but it was a mansion.
Anyway i was insecure about being sloppy. SO i was trying my very best to not be a mess and pretend to be sober but i was struggling and ofc im trying to grab all my things by the hottub and outdoor bar. And there are these guys out there and i could tell they were not only sexualizing me, but seeing me as like a *hot* drunk messy slut. Like idk how to describe it, like judging me in a misogynisic guy way but wanted to fuck.
Not important, it was just hard because i was around the bar and was so scared i was gonna fall into the water because i had such little control of my bearings.....because it was a dream.
Last weird thing.....
I was walking around the mansion and i saw a guy from highschool....like Co**** F***g*****
And it was so random and weird??? Like why the FUCK am i in Fripp Island on my family christmas vacation and fucking CF is just like walked past me in the kitchen. Like i was like what the FUCK is going on, just in a funny way. Like how odd. I havent been friends with him since 6th grade?? Like i just know of him. I didnt even talk to him in highschool. Such an odd choice.
And AA was who “knew” him and the one person he was with. And she was letting him stay in our house. So she came to my room and was like “Arie do you know CF, he told me he knows you and that he’s super proud of you for graduating psu” and im like WHAT CF SAID HE WAS PROUD OF ME????
Yesss i know him but this is so random. Then she was like “oh lemme bring him to the room” and i was like oh brother
0 notes
Text
Moonchild
Part 2 of 3
Pairings: werewolf Marcus Pike x f!reader
Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, unprotected sex, monster fucking, oral (female receiving), fluff and more fluff.
Summary: Marcus has been a werewolf all his life, something that is both a blessing and a curse. He desperately want to be a husband and a father but anyone he’s dated runs when they learn about his ‘condition’, that is until you!
A/N: the last part will release on Halloween 🎃 again I took some inspiration from @hopelikethemoon moonbeam series. Her writing of Ezra as a beast is just out of this world. It inspired the monster fucking in this part 😈
Previous
Comments and reblogs are really appreciated 🥰
“You’re a what?”
“I’m a werewolf. I know it’s crazy right, I’m crazy, but it’s the truth.”
“Have you been one all your life?”
“Yeah since I….wait, you believe me? You’re not freaked out?”
“Well are you going to hurt me?”
“No! Never.”
“Well then, why would I. You are who you are, and honestly it’s not the strangest thing I’ve heard. Have you ever heard of the Winchester brothers? No! Well let’s just say there are things way worse out there.”
Marcus is in disbelief, no one, absolutely no one stays after the learn the truth. Yet here you are accepting all of him. His father told him when he was young that he would find that someone special, the one who would love the man and the beast equally. That when he found her, never to let her go. He hadn’t, and he was happily married to his mother.
“You really don’t care?”
“No I don’t. Since your being so honest with me I, I want to tell you something. Marcus I love you. I know we don’t know each other that long and we’re not even technically dating but I do, I love you. I’ve never felt like this before.”
Marcus could feel his heart beating fast, this felt like a dream come true.
“I love you to, I have since you started here.” Your lips crash into his, your hands on either side of his face. You pull away resting your forehead against his.
“I should go.”
“Stay, please!”
You convinced him to stay the night, spending it and many nights after discussing his life as a werewolf. You learned that it was a genetic condition passed down through the generations. On the full moon he transformed into a wolf, on those night he liked to run free through the woods. He could change at any time of course but during a full moon the wolf took over him completely.
Now a month in, and officially dating, Marcus has organised a weekend trip away to his cabin. You couldn’t wait to spend a full weekend with him uninterrupted by work calls and emails. He said to pack warm, comfortable clothing, and on the way there you both stopped off are the supermarket to buy supplies for the weekend. The premise of this trip was for Marcus to fully reveal himself to you. It was a full moon and this was where he usually came to be free. The wolf had ulterior motives, wanting so badly to make you his, to make you its mate and breed you. It was a desire that Marcus has had to quench since he met you and it grows stronger every day. Marcus shared this sentiment but the human part of him has been hurt in the past and doesn’t want to rush this.
“Ok so I think we have everything, do you need me to do anything, get you anything? When do you shift? Should I stay away, maybe in the bedroom?”
You stop unpacking, worried you’ve said something wrong. Marcus was too quiet. Looking up at him you find his gaze already on you, a look of awe on his face. He walks towards you, wrapping his arm around your waist pulling you close.
“God you’re perfect baby.” He brushes a piece of hair from your face and leans in, placing his lips on yours softly.
“It will happen when it starts to get dark and the moon is at its brightest. The wolf loves you too, you’ll be safe. I have to warn you though it’s painful, a lot of bone breaking and stuff, but I’ll be ok, just don’t touch me while I’m changing.”
“Ok. How about I cook us dinner?”
“Sounds good, I’ll work on lighting the fire.”
It was cosy, sitting by the fire eating dinner. You could easily picture this in your future with Marcus. Maybe a few kids running around. No stop too soon. You don’t even know if he wants kids.
“Hey your thinking too loudly. Everything ok?”
“Hmm, yeah I….never mind.”
“Hey come on you can tell me anything.”
“I was just picturing a future with you, maybe coming here on trips and then my mind thought we could bring our kids here too, but I don’t even know if you want children. Maybe you don’t I..”
Marcus is shook, he had wanted a family for so long and after everything he’s been through he had convinced himself is was off the table for him. Then you came along and god it’s all he can think about.
“I want children, I want marriage, I want it all. I want it all with you.”
You don’t say anything else just kiss him passionately.
“I love you Marcus Pike.”
“I love you too, so much.”
When he pulls back his eyes are glowing that golden colour.
“It’s time, just remember what I said don’t touch me while I’m changing and everything will be fine.”
You don’t think you could bare to watch this every month, the man you love in agony. It’s a mash of clothes ripping and bones braking and skin tearing. You want to reach out and help in some way but Marcus’s word echo in the back of your mind, ‘don’t touch me while I’m changing.’
Suddenly it’s over as quick as it started and your staring into the eyes of a beast, and yet they seem familiar in their warmth towards you. You sit very still, unsure of how to proceed, so you wait until he makes a move. As if the beast can sense what your thinking as it approaches you slowly, sniffing the air around you. You won’t lie, you are a little scared, scared that Marcus was wrong and the wolf doesn’t want you. He moves up beside you, crowding you on the bed, his nose sniffing every part of you. He pushes you so your laying on your back, he licks your face and along your neck and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. He’s looking you in the eyes now and he lets out a low growl. He’s trying to tell you something, what exactly you don’t know.
He begins to claw at your clothes and you finally realise what he wants, you. Your cheeks heat up at the thought. Is it even possible. You strip out of your clothes slowly, the beasts gaze on you the whole time. He pulls you to the edge of the bed, nudging your thighs apart before burying his snout in your curls. He begins licking at your folds, shoving his tongue into you and your slightly ashamed to admit he’s better at this as a beast than a man. Your back arches off the bed, your hands clinging to his dark fur making him growl into your core. You close your eyes as your body shakes in ecstasy. He looks at you, blissed out beneath him and he licks around his lips, soaking up your juices. You finally open your eyes and look at him wondering how this is going to work but you don’t get time to contemplate as he flips you over onto all fours, licking a strip up your back. You let out a laugh, of course he would do you doggy style. His huge claws push you into the bed and he’s inside you in one thrust.
“Oh fuck!”
He’s huge, Marcus is well endowed but as the wolf, Jesus, and unlike Marcus he doesn’t give you time to adjust. It’s rough and he’s pounding into you, hitting that spot just right. You come again, your hands clinging to the sheets.
“Marcus!”
He’s not far behind you, coming with a low growl as he coats your womb in his seed. You collapse onto the bed, exhausted. You just pull the duvet over yourself and he slides in beside you, his fur covers claw wrapping around you, the heat he’s giving off lulling you to sleep. When you eventually wake, it’s to Marcus’s human arm wrapped around you. He has you pulled close, his face buried in your hair. You felt loved, Marcus felt like home. You stir in his arms and he grumbles a little.
“Morning.”
“Hmm, morning baby.”
“Do you remember what happened last night?”
He nuzzles into your neck. “Hmm Hmm.”
“I, I didn’t know we could…you could…ya know, as a wolf.”
“He liked it, very much.”
“Oh that’s good.”
“I liked it very much.”
“I’m glad baby.”
“I love you so much baby.”
“I love you too, all of you.”
“Marry me?”
“What?!”
He moves from behind you and reaches into the drawer in his bedside table. He pulls out a small velvet box.
“I know we’re not together long but I can’t imagine my life without you. You’ve accepted me, all of me and I’m not letting you go. I love you Y/N, will you marry me and become Mrs. Pike?!”
“I…yes!”
Part 3
Permanent tag list: @lunaserenade@anaaaispunk @maievdenoir @elinedjarin @seasonschange-butpeopledont @alberta-sunrise @dihra-vesa @pintsizemama @athalien @loserrlauraa @thorins-queen-of-erebor @pascal-rascal424 @ikinmahlen @pascalisthepunkest @dindjarinneedsahug @almaeunice @jediknight122 @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @colorlesswhispersunknown @stevie75 @rosie-posie08 @jediknight123 @hauntedmama @greeneyedblondie44 @prettylilhalforc @giselatropicana @the-mandalorian-066 @spanishmossmagnolia @phoenixhalliwell @sherala007 @its--fandom--darling @donnaa @javierpinme @luxmundee @littlemisspascal @hayley-the-comet @ezras-channel-rat @heartofjakku @tintinn16 @amneris21 @avengers-fixation @drinkingwhileblogging @evyiione @goddessofsprings @mylovelycomandante @pastatomata @pjkimrn @1#FreakShow @maryfanson @sunnshineeexoxo @paintballkid711 @hocuschlocus @allthe-ships @thewintersoldierswife @practicalghost
#pedro pascal#marcus pike x female reader#marcus pike x reader#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the mentalist fanfiction#marcus pike
103 notes
·
View notes
Text
We met in online class - Part 7
Image adapted from here.
Pairing: Renjun x Reader
Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff
Warnings: Strong language, descriptions of a shiner, a character gets Covid-19
Word Count: 7.3k
Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | You are on Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Last Part
A/N: I’m sorry for all the angst, you guys.
You only stop walking when you’re out of the apartment building. Eyebrows scrunched, face scowled like you were trying to hold onto the anger. But the more you had walked, the more you had realized that you couldn’t hold onto something that wasn’t there in the first place. It would be like holding onto smoke: futile and baseless. You weren’t angry. You stop moving to just breathe for a moment. And as the cool night air hits your face, you get a little more clarity in your thoughts. No, you weren’t angry. Not really.
Suddenly, you find yourself smiling to the sky and scoffing. Oh, how stupid. How stupid and how typical. This was classic you. Only this time, you couldn’t believe you had fallen for the broody artsy boy type. The kind of boy that blew hot and cold. The kind of boy that would keep you on edge and never like you as much as you liked him. God, you were such a cliché. Fuck, how embarrassing. So no, you weren’t angry. You were embarrassed. You had spent the last few weeks simping over a boy that never really liked you. God, you were so stupid.
‘The only reason I’ve kept you around for so long is because I wanted to get to your brother.’ His voice echoes in your head.
Your friends had told you that you were doing way too much for a boy you weren’t even official with yet. You had literally spent the past couple of weeks running to him to dote on him. Bringing him food and checking up on him even though you were drowned in work, and making sure he was okay. And all this time, he had been using you. Oh, God. You were like the embarrassing second female lead in every drama ever. The kind that would bring cartons of milk to her crush in the hopes that he would like her back. Only you had actually believed that he liked you back. Oh, how embarrassing.
‘Y/N, you are not my girlfriend. So stop acting like it.’
Oh, how freaking embarrassing. You had been acting like the girlfriend. But you had been the second female lead all along.
You groan and make yourself keep walking. You didn’t want to be near his building anymore. Not where he could step out any moment and humiliate you some more for reading the signs all wrong. You keep walking as your phone keeps ringing. You don’t pick up. You wanted to put as much space between yourself and the building as possible. You walk and you walk till you reach the bus stop. And then you finally sit and take your phone out.
There are around 8 missed calls from Haechan as well as a string of texts. You sigh and hail a cab from an app before you get the spirit to read his messages.
‘Y/N, please pick up.’
‘Where are you???’
‘I can’t find you. Where are you???’
‘Pick uppppp’
‘Can you at least tell me where you are?’
‘I’m calling Yeri.’
That’s Haechan’s last message and you let out another groan. Why did he have to call Yeri? She was going to be worried for no reason. She was already under so much stress with her thesis. You didn’t want her to sit in the apartment and have all sorts of thoughts going through her head about what happened to you. So you text him back.
‘I’m just going home. Don’t worry.’ you write back. Not even ten seconds pass by before he replies.
‘How? You don’t even have your car! And you’ve been drinking.’
‘I called a cab. Don’t worry.’
‘Y/N, please tell me where you are? Let me take you home.’
‘The cab’s already here, Haechan. It’s fine. I’ll text you when I get home.’ you say as you get into the car.
‘No way. Share your location.’
‘The cab’s already moving.’
‘Okay, but share your live location so I know you’ve safely gotten home.’
You sigh and give into his wish. ‘Happy?’
‘I’ve shared it with Yeri as well.’
You groan again, making the cab driver give you a quizzical look through the mirror. ‘Haechan, please don’t bother Yeri.’
‘Text me as soon as you get home. I’m coming over first thing in the morning.’
‘Okay.’ you reply and sigh again, resting your head against the window because it felt like the sort of thing to do in this situation. But it only makes your temple awkwardly rattle against the glass as the car moves. How did people do this in dramas? Look so elegant as they pensively looked out the window? Because right now, you neither felt elegant, nor pensive. You just felt stupid. You feel your phone buzz again and see another text from Haechan.
‘You’re my best friend and I love you to the moon and back. Nothing changes that, okay?’ the message reads and suddenly, you feel tears brimming in your eyes. That’s the first time he had called you that. What a stupid boy he was, Lee Donghyuck. Why did he have to attack you like that with all the feels? Silly boy. Well, at least there was something that came out of this mess.
How had you been so stupid? Renjun had practically told you of his motives on the very first date. He had told you that his lifelong wish was to get into Midnight fucking Arthouse. And instead of staying away, you had run to your brother the very same day to fulfil that wish. The thought chases away the tears that Haechan’s text had brought. You were so stupid. Even your brother had warned you.
“Y/N, I don’t trust his eyes.” Doyoung had told you that afternoon at the party. And you had laughed at him.
“What does that even mean?” you had rolled your own eyes at him, because really, you were watching Renjun into the distance as he talked to another artist. God, he looked so handsome, you had thought as you ogled.
“He just seems like he’s hiding something. He just seems like a guy who would have something to hide.” your brother had warned you and you had just laughed and joked it away.
“I mean, sorry to break it to you like this, big brother, but he’s a serial killer by night. The art student stuff is just for show because when people aren’t looking, his ass goes full Joe Goldberg in You.” you had teased your brother who had exhaled long and put his arm around you.
“Fine, fine. Don’t trust your big brother. Do what you want. I just don’t like him for you.” Doyoung had cut it out for your sake and you had cuddled into him happily because you were so giddy that day. Nothing could’ve spoiled your mood then because the boy you liked had just kissed you. He had held your hand and held your face and kissed you and kissed you and kissed you.
“Of course you don’t like him for me. You won’t like anyone for me because you’re my big brother.” you had baby-talked at Doyoung and cuddled him till he had ruffled your hair and pushed you away.
God, you were so stupid. Did everyone know but you? Could everyone see how he’d been using you? Had your crush on him really been so bad that it blinded you? Oh, how embarrassing. How fucking embarrassing. Well, at least the two of you weren’t official yet. That was a plus. Otherwise, there would’ve been a break up involved. Then again, that would mean that Renjun liked you enough to make you his girlfriend. Or that he would have gone so far as to exploit you like that. Would he have done it? You don’t even want to think about it.
You were fine, really. This was okay. It’s good that he cleared that you weren’t his girlfriend. This whole situation would’ve been sillier if the two of you were official. You chuckle as you enter the elevator of your building. You were fine. Everything that had happened was just a silly misunderstanding. You had just read the signals all wrong. You knock your knuckles on your head. Silly you. It was just a silly crush. You had just chased a boy you had a crush on and it hadn’t worked out. There was nothing wrong with that. These sorts of things happened all the time. You were fine.
But Renjun hadn’t been just a boy.
He had been the boy of your dreams. He had been the boy that had smiled at you over his coffee cup on your first date and you had felt that he looked into your soul. He had been the boy who would wait outside your lecture hall with the most hopeful look in his eyes and you would melt because he wore that look for you. He had been the boy who had laid his head on your shoulder and opened his heart to you and you had thought that you would do everything it takes to give him the world. He had been the boy that had held your hand and made you feel so incredibly safe that day at your parent’s house that you had found yourself falling. He had been the boy who had taken you in his arms and kissed you so sweet that you had felt like flying. He had been the boy who would lay out in the sun next to you and you’d think that everything was alright.
Renjun hadn’t been just some boy you had chased. You couldn’t lie to yourself like that anymore, even though you were trying. He had been the boy you had given your heart to.
You don’t realize that your feet had carried you all the way home till you look up to the door opening on it’s own. And Yeri is standing there like she was expecting you.
“Haechan called me.” she says and you have no idea what she sees on your face because she says “Baby…” in the softest voice before she grabs her Lysol concoction and starts spraying you carefully.
You stand there in the doorway, watching her as she sprays at your feet and takes your shoes off for you with so much love. You don’t know what it was about seeing her face. But anytime you did, all your walls came tumbling down. You could never hide from her.
She looks up at you and whatever she sees makes her speed up her sanitizing ritual. And you realize your shoulders are shaking. You feel the wetness on the tops of your cheeks. You feel the scrunching between your brows. You hear your breath coming out in sniffles. It probably looks like the strangest scene in the world. You, standing there unmoving, looking at her as you crumble in the doorway. And her looking back at you worried, and hurriedly soaking you in Lysol.
Yeri takes your hands in hers and sanitizes them, then takes your purse from you while you do nothing but just stand there, looking at her. She takes your jacket off and then your mask and then finally kisses your cheek and pulls you into her arms. She holds you and kisses your forehead and strokes your hair.
“You will always have me, okay?” she tells you and this time, you’re fully aware that you’re sobbing. Because she puts an arm around you and walks you to your room. She lets you cry as she takes your makeup off for you and brushes your hair. And you watch her attending to you with so much love in her eyes, that for a moment, you’re not sure what’s making you cry. Your broken heart, or her pure, unadulterated love for you.
For as long as you could remember, this girl had been there for you through all your highs and lows. She hadn’t just been a friend. She had been more like a sister. Come to think of it, she had been more a parent to you than your actual parents. You could never hide from her. So when she puts you to bed, you cuddle into her and cry when you tell her,
“I really liked him, Yeri.” Because what was the use of lying to yourself or anyone else? You liked him. You had unabashedly, completely and without any sort of a restraint given him your whole entire heart. And he had broken it. This was something that had happened. So why would you deny it? You had been hurt so you were going to cry to your heart’s content. That’s what people do when they have been hurt.
“I know, baby girl.” she strokes your hair and holds you and kisses the top of your head and your eyes go to your nightstand. You see things that would look like trash to other people. But to you they were the most important treasures.
A paper napkin folded up into an origami crane. Renjun had made it on your very first date.
A can of coke, flattened and leaned against your nightlight. Renjun had drunk from it the first time he came over to your apartment.
A scrap of paper taken from a notebook in a photo frame. Renjun had doodled on it one day as you two had waited for class to begin.
A daisy, pressed and preserved in a little glass disc. Renjun had randomly plucked it from the grass and given it to you as you two had lazed about. It was the first flower he had given you.
God, you were such a sentimental hoe. This boy had broken your heart and you had kept his trash in your room, right on your nightstand so his would be the last thought on your mind as you went to sleep. Realizing that just makes you cry more.
“It’s okay, baby. Your heart’s been broken so you’re going to cry. It’s okay to cry.” Yeri coos at you, echoing your own thoughts. But somehow hearing it from her makes it more soothing. She was right. You had liked a boy and he had broken your heart. It had happened. You were going to cry.
So you laid in Yeri’s arms and let her comfort you. Even Galbi the asshole had joined your pity party as he sat on top of your head and purred, as if he realized you needed comforting and all the purring was going to heal whatever hurt you were feeling. You laid and you cried and you cried till you were all cried out and sleep was taking you.
“That is a shiner.” you say, eyes wide.
“Mhmm. It’s my mark of honor.” Haechan smiles his smug, annoying smile as he leans back in his chair.
The library was emptier than usual, because really, exams were over for most students. So people that lived in and around campus were basically using it as a common room.
“I mean, it’s a shiner as big as I’ve ever seen.” you say, leaning over and lightly tracing the hues of red, purple and black under your friend’s eye. And he just sits there, chin jutting out, smiling broad, proudly allowing it to be touched like a trophy.
“It’s the outcome of me being the biggest little shit, so it goes with the vibe.” Haechan says and you make a face at him.
“Honestly, I’m surprised it took someone so long. Lowkey impressed that you’ve avoided these so far, despite being that professional little shit.” you lightly press the pad of your index on a particularly discolored area and watch as he moves away.
“Guess I’d just been looking for the right reason to get one.” he says, still wearing the smug look on his face. But he must have noticed a change in your expression because he gives you a look of disapproval.
“Hey, stop that.” he snaps at you.
“Stop what?” you retort defensively.
“Stop it with those sad puppy eyes. I don’t like it.” he almost scolds.
“I’m only sad because it’s making you look uglier than usual.” you reply pouting.
“Please. It’s making me look sexier than usual.”
“If ugly was the new sexy, then sure.”
“Yo, he’s not ugly, he’s just not in his moment right now.” he pouts and nothing on Haechan’s face says that he’s joking which somehow makes it funnier.
“What’s that even supposed to mean?” you wanna smack him on the head.
“It means that you need to give it till tomorrow to finally see it in it’s full bloom.” he says with the most satisfied look on his face but it deflates you. Shit. This wasn’t even the worst of it. He was probably going to look worse in the next couple of days.
Haechan sighs because you figure he finally sees that this conversation isn’t exactly making you feel any better. So he addresses the elephant in the room.
“He’s an asshole.” he says simply.
“Haechan…” you stop him because honestly, you didn’t really want to talk about it anymore, especially not with him. You didn’t want to be that person that makes mutual friends pick a side. Besides, Renjun had been right. They were technically his friends. But they were also your friends. This was a hot mess already and you didn’t want to add to it.
“I’m only saying it because it’s true. But, also, Y/N…” he’s taken your nickname and his voice has suddenly gone small and so apologetic that you look up, just to check if he’s the one talking. Your stupid friend had a way of never reading the room and keeping up his joking antics no matter the circumstance. So hearing his voice do that got your attention to say the least.
“I, uh…” he goes on and he looks like he’s uncomfortable, like he’s trying to find the words to break some bad news. “He’s an asshole and all, but… I’m kind of the one that put that idea in his head in the first place.” he fesses up and finally meets your eyes.
You jump a bit as you see a strong arm reach over your shoulder and set down a coffee cup on the table with a resounding thud. Jeno has appeared as if on cue and he now has those arms crossed over his chest as he pins Haechan down with a death stare.
Haechan looks up at his audience of two and decides to address the boy that stands there looking like he would most likely complete his shiner set. “I just told him Y/N was Kim Doyoung’s sister! You know he had been dying to get into Midnight Arthouse! And Y/N was the one that asked him out! Didn’t you, Y/N?” he looks at you with eyes that plead for help “I only told him he should accept her date, I promise. But yes, it was my stupid idea and fuck, I wish I could take it back. I’m an idiot and I deserve whatever you want to do to me, Y/N.” he holds his hands up as if in surrender as he watches Jeno’s cold expression and your unreadable one.
You reach your hand over towards him and watch as he closes his eyes and braces to perhaps be punched in the face again. But you don’t punch him. You ruffle his hair.
“Don’t do it again, okay?” you scrunch your nose at him and give him a smile to put him out of his misery.
Heachan lets out a long, dramatic exhale that finally matches his true personality. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” he says, actually crossing his heart over his chest and he looks up at Jeno to seek his forgiveness as well.
Jeno’s expression has softened and he’s smiling, almost as if he had expected this confession and its outcome. He was always more perceptive than he let on. Although his arms are still intimidatingly crossed over his chest as he says
“Follow me to the rooftop, Lee Donghyuck.”
“Yes, yes, I know I deserve it, because I know she’s your childhood friend. But she’s my best friend now and if she’s forgiven me, then--”
“--you’re a piece of shit.” Jeno declares and takes a seat next to you, laying out the rest of the breakfast he got. You snigger and hug onto his arm, as if to thank him for... everything. You and Jeno had never been one to talk things out, but an advantage of being friends for so long was that you didn’t have you. He would understand what you mean, even though all you’d done was held and leaned into his arm.
Haechan looks at the two of you fondly and waits a couple of beats. His voice is soft and empathetic when he says, “He probably didn’t mean those things he said, you know? He was drunk.”
“We were all drunk.” you agree, tracing your finger over your coffee cup.
“He’s an asshole, but… he likes you, you know?” Haechan says and suddenly, you can’t look anybody in the eye anymore. You don’t want to say anything either, because you’re afraid your voice would give you away.
So you purse your lips and take a deep breath before you say “Yeah, well… it doesn’t really matter now, does it?”
“I’m going to kick his stupid ass.” Haechan mutters but it only makes Jeno chuckle.
“You mean when you’re not too busy getting your ass kicked by him?” he pokes fun while he feeds you a bit of his croissant. And despite everything, you find yourself laughing out loud.
“Hey! I could totally take him down if I wanted to. I was just holding back.” Haechan puffs his chest and Jeno smiles wider, shaking his head.
“Ugh, you know what. We’re on semester break. We’ve literally been waiting for this time. Let’s just chill before I have to leave.” you declare.
Haechan snaps and points his finger at you. “That is the right attitude, Y/N L/N.”
After that, he goes on and on, talking nonstop about everything you could do while you didn’t have classes, doing the most to make it up to you. You listen to him fondly as you happily enjoy breakfast with your friends.
Down the rows, Renjun had walked into the hall, hoping the library could be his sanctuary for the day. How very wrong he was. Because now, he just watched into the distance as you reach out to ruffle Donghyuck’s hair and Jeno smiles down at the two of you. Unbelievable. Renjun turns on his heel right away and leaves. Because this was unbelievable.
How come Lee Donghyuck came out of this situation unscathed? It was his stupid idea to begin with. Renjun had been happy living his life normally till Donghyuck encouraged him to date you. So how come neither you nor Jeno were mad at him? Renjun was the only one that came out of this as the bad guy. And everyone else just continued on to be one big happy fucking family.
Last night, Jisung had left to stay over at Chenle’s, and Renjun assumed it was so he didn’t have to be in the same room as him. He hadn’t seen Jeno, and it was probably because he had woken early morning to have breakfast with you. The only one of his friends that Renjun saw this morning was Jaemin. But the only thing he had said before he walked out the door was that he was spending the day with his girlfriend and won’t be home either.
It seemed like everyone around him was doing their best to avoid him. He felt like a dementor. Like he was putting out lights wherever he went. Like he was draining hope, peace and happiness out of everyone that came in contact with him. That’s perhaps why his friends wanted to stay away from him.
There was maybe some advantage to that. Renjun wanted to be alone. You had pretty much stolen all his friends. It was clear that they had taken your side in all of this. No one had wanted to know what Renjun was going through. But they were all too concerned about the poor little rich girl. It’s why they were with you this morning and not him. Poor little rich girl that got her heart broken by Renjun the asshole. Of course, no one would want to know the other side of the story, Renjun thinks bitterly.
What was the other side of the story, anyway? That you had been too kind to him? That you had been thoughtful and understanding? That you made so much effort to be a part of his life, and he had made none? That you had put a word in with your brother right after you had first met Renjun, before your relationship had even begun?
You had done everything in your power to make Renjun look like the bad guy. And he realizes that this was precisely the reason he never wanted to look at you ever again. Renjun feels nothing but bitterness in his heart. He had spent all those weeks exploiting your feelings for him. Making you believe that he was interested in you so he could get close enough that you would introduce him to your brother. But all of it had been for naught. Because you didn’t need a relationship or a reason to be kind to people. You had just heard Renjun’s dream and fulfilled it that very same day you had met him. You had granted him his biggest wish whilst wanting nothing in return, expecting nothing back. You had put him in your debt. And he hated you for it.
Renjun needed a break. Because his life seemed to be throwing him more curveballs than he could possibly manage. He wanted to reverse it all. Go back to the time when he hadn’t met you. He should’ve turned you down during that ill-fated online class. Then none of this would’ve happened.
But almost as if the heavens wanted to give him a cruel reminder that all of it, in fact, had happened and he, in fact, had exploited you, he gets a phone call. Whilst he can barely make out the number through his cracked screen, he recognizes the voice right away.
“Huang Renjun!”
“Kim Doyoung.” Renjun replies automatically, because his mind is still processing the irony of it all.
“I have a proposition for you.” Doyoung goes straight to the point and Renjun realizes that he’s not talking to him as your brother right now. He’s talking to him as the owner of Midnight fucking Arthouse.
“Uh, okay?” Renjun says and almost instantly regrets it. He should’ve said something more professional, but he has to admit he has been caught off guard.
“Can you come meet me at the studio in an hour?” he states more than he asks. And Renjun gets the feeling that this man hasn’t been told ‘no’ enough. At least not in this context.
“I… I can.” Dammit. Why wasn’t Renjun able to put more than two words together today?
“Great. Let’s have a lunch meeting at my studio.” Doyoung once again states. Renjun would usually be annoyed when someone was this imposing with him. But for some reason, Kim Doyoung’s boss voice is working on him.
“Okay, see you in an hour.” Renjun says and he’s glad he’s spoken a full sentence this time.
“Great. Oh, and Renjun?”
“Yes?”
“Bring your portfolio along.”
Renjun doesn’t know how long he sits there. The steak that was served to him in a pretentiously off-centered plate remains mostly untouched. Because Renjun couldn’t keep more than two bites down. Not when Kim fucking Doyoung was standing up and flipping through his portfolio without a sound.
This portfolio was Renjun’s lifelong work. Who knows how long he had spent on each piece. Some day, when he had the time, he was going to calculate the number of man hours he spent on building the whole damn thing. And then calculate how many days, weeks or months it amounted to in total. Because the way Kim Doyoung was flipping through it without much care minimized his life’s worth to mere seconds. He had spent hours and hours on each work and Kim Doyoung didn’t even spare more than half an eyeful on each piece.
And not a single word.
Doyoung seemed to be a different person at work than he had been at the party at his parent’s home. Here, he was the Kim Doyoung, and for a moment, Renjun could finally see how he might have risen all the way up to the top. Because every single minute of his life was accounted for. From the moment Renjun had walked in, all he could see was how his assistant kept pushing him from one task to the other. He hadn’t even spent too long on pleasantries before he took Renjun to his office for lunch. And if he thought that lunch for Doyoung would be a time of peace, he was wrong. Because he ate quickly and Renjun couldn’t possibly meet his speed. He supposed that’s how successful people ate. Because every minute they ate was every minute they were not making money. Renjun was only halfway through his lunch when Doyoung had gotten up and started going through his portfolio.
And Renjun hadn’t been able to take a single bite since. His stomach was in knots. He felt small, sitting here in this grand old office in one of the biggest arthouses of the country. Weirdly, Renjun finds himself internally smiling at the fact that Doyoung had called this place a studio. Because, no way. The place that Renjun interned at was a studio. This was a fucking art museum and nothing less.
A finalizing shut of the portfolio is what breaks Renjun out of his thoughts.
“Okay, Huang Renjun, I’m going to cut to the chase.” Doyoung says and Renjun sits up straighter, his eyes and ears attentive and open. “I need new artists for the 2021 Midnight Arthouse Annuale. Every artist that I’ve ever introduced in spring has gone on to become a best seller by winter.”
Of course he knew that. Renjun could name every single artist that had gotten that exposure. But hearing it straight from the man that gave it to them was making goosebumps run down his spine.
“I’ve got two spots to debut artists that no one has ever heard of. And someone put in a very convincing word for you.” he says and Renjun feels his stomach do a flip before it drowns in guilt, because he knows that the both of them know who that someone is. “But I’m going to be honest with you. Nothing I see in here is worthy of the Annuale.” he says plainly. Renjun looks up. His heart drops.
“Um… nothing?” Renjun asks stupidly. Suddenly, he doesn’t feel like the big man that had punched someone in the face from an inflated ego the night before. He feels like the little fish in a sea of big fishes. He feels like someone is finally showing him the mirror and telling him exactly what he’s worth in the context of big names and big opportunities. And it’s a humbling and sobering experience. Because Renjun feels his hangover dissipating.
“This is basically an art student’s portfolio. What you’ve shown me is essentially a series of assignments you’ve made for your professors. Nothing is inspired. Nothing has vision. Nothing in here jumps out at me and tells me who Huang Renjun is.” Doyoung is speaking to him straight up. No niceties. No filters. He’s speaking to him like the owner of a huge motherfucking company and nothing less.
And maybe someone had to speak to Renjun this way and deflate his ego, so he could finally open his eyes to the real world. Because Renjun doesn’t feel angry or broody or venomous over these words. He feels like he has been sobered. He finds himself agreeing with everything that has been said. Like he’s opened his eyes for the first time and finally seen what he’s actually like without his ego or conceit filtering his vision. He was absolutely right. Kim Doyoung had been the one to tell him this before. But sitting here in his huge fucking office, in a building where he was surrounded by art that was in every way better than his… it puts everything in context, and Renjun finally realizes that he had been right all along.
“So, here’s my proposition.” Doyoung begins. “Make me something worthy of the Annuale. And I’ll help you make your debut.”
Renjun’s eyes widen. His mind races. He didn’t have much time. And the stakes were too high. How could he possibly make the best work of his life, the work that would help him launch his dream in a span of two weeks? It wasn’t enough time.
Then again, this was the opportunity of a lifetime. This was make or break. So Renjun doesn’t even think much before he replies “I’ll do it. I’ll show you.”
Doyoung smiles. “I had a feeling you’d say that. In that case, I have another meeting to go to. But my assistant will help you sort out the details. I’m sure you’ll understand.” he says, already getting up and putting his jacket on.
Renjun stands with him. He doesn’t believe it. Suddenly, this opportunity feels too big for his breaches. But it’s there for the grabbing. And he could only ever miss the shot he never shoots.
Yet somehow, Renjun also feels like he’s about to make a deal with the devil. Is this how the unassuming hero feels in movies when he’s made an agreement with the mob boss? Renjun reckons it comes close. He’s not sure whether to shake hands or to bow in these situations. So he stands there awkwardly and does neither as Doyoung walks to his door.
“My assistant will be in contact with you. I look forward to seeing your masterpiece.” he smiles a loaded smile and in that moment, Renjun decides that your brother was nothing like you.
“Oh, and Renjun. The theme is ‘The Past Year’ but don’t tell anybody that.” he smiles and Renjun nods as Doyoung takes his leave. He’s not sure why he’s been given that extra bit of information. He’s not sure if that pointer has come from Kim Doyoung of Midnight Arthouse or Y/N L/N’s older brother. It is a bit of a mindfuck, but Renjun tries not to dwell on it too much. He had to leave his intellectual capacities free for his bigger purpose.
Renjun looks up to see Doyoung’s assistant smiling professionally at him. “Would you like a tour, Mr. Huang?” she says and Renjun once again gets the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory feels he always got around your family’s grandeur. But this was more than riches. This was art from people Renjun had admired and closely followed. Maybe this would give him some inspiration and put him in the right headspace.
“Yes, please.” Renjun says a bit too eagerly before he is led outside.
It is once again, a humbling experience. Renjun had already seen most of the work displayed here in one form or the other. But watching it with the naked eye and up close was a different experience altogether. The art here was in a different league and now Renjun starts to understand what Kim Doyoung had meant. None of Renjun’s existing works came close to what he was seeing displayed right here. He had thought Midnight Arthouse was some sort of a viral launcher. The kind of company that only looked for social media sensations rather than trailblazers and actual talent. But Renjun realizes that he had been massively underestimating them. Kim Doyoung knew what he was doing. Renjun did not.
All this time, Renjun had walked the earth with a chip on his shoulder. He had been envious of everyone who ever did better than him. He had resented every artist that had risen to fame for reasons Renjun could not understand. He had judged every person ever who was well connected enough to rise to the top.
And now, standing here in the majesty of Midnight Arthouse’s proud displays, all Renjun feels is small. Like he’s been served a slice of humble pie. For the first time in a long time, Renjun feels inspired, but not from a place of envy or jealousy or bitterness or vengeance. He feels inspired to make the most out of the opportunity that his life had given him. Because who was he to judge anyone that used connections when he was standing here doing the same? The mere fact that he, a junior in college had gotten a meeting with Kim Doyoung over lunch in his office while his assistant was personally showing him around… that was proof that Renjun had become one of those well-connected people.
Renjun’s initial feeling had been right. This was a deal with the devil. Because Renjun had paid a pretty big price for it. His stomach feels queasy. Was it only last night that he was going around throwing punches and being a general asshole? He doesn’t want to think about it. Because then he’d be forced to remember the faces of all his friends, and he didn’t want to revisit that memory through the lens of a deflated ego and a dissolving hangover. So Renjun is almost thankful when Doyoung’s assistant speaks to him.
“Are you ready for some paperwork? Just some general entry applications and agreements.” she says, still smiling that strictly professional smile.
Renjun takes a deep breath in. He feels unprepared, yet ready. He was going to take this opportunity. Or everything he had done this past year would have been for naught.
“Let’s do it.” Renjun says, nodding.
“Great. Follow me.” she says and Renjun starts walking. Each step forward feels like a heavy, purposeful and loaded step towards his future. Here it was, a few strides away from his grabbing. Forget the past year. His whole life had been amounting to this moment.
Every stroke of his brush had led him here. Every drop of his sweat. Every sleepless night. Every decision he had made. Every heart he had broken. Every friend he had lost.
Renjun was walking towards his goal a man with nothing left to lose. And he had heard that they made the most dangerous men. His future was two strides away now. Two more strides and he’d be one step closer to achieving his life goal.
But when he’s about to make the final stride, Renjun receives a phone call that shatters his entire world as he knows it.
And in that moment, he turns on his heel and runs faster than he ever had in his entire life. The future that was so close that he could almost taste it, now becomes smaller and smaller as it fades into the background behind him. Because Renjun had run in the opposite direction and left it in his dust.
Renjun pushes through the doors and doesn’t even absorb the pain he should be feeling in his shoulder from the force of the contact.
“Where is she!” he yells. He doesn’t feel like a person. Because how much could one person take, anyway? How many times could he be beaten down by the universe before he would fall to his knees and beg to be spared?
He looks around and finally spots the man he calls his father standing near a watercooler, talking to someone he doesn’t recognize. So he has no care about rushing up and getting in his face. Because what more was there left to lose?
“Where is she?” he yells at his face. His father nods a farewell at the unassuming man before he turns to his son.
“In the isolation ward, Renjun. Where else would she be?” his father says and his voice is so calm that Renjun wants to grab at his collar. But he takes in a deep shaky breath to calm himself. It doesn’t happen. So he finds himself yelling again.
“How did this even happen! She hasn’t even been outside her house this entire time!” Renjun is trying so hard to hold back the tears of rage. But they’re threatening to explode any minute now.
“What does it matter how she got the virus? It’s a global pandemic. She has it now, like thousands of people around the world. The doctors are doing all they can.” his father says and if Renjun had been in his right mind, he would’ve realized that this was the first time he had spoken to him in over a year. But all he could think of right now was so what if others had it? So what if every fucking person in the world had it? How dare his father say that?
“How are they doing all they can when she’s on fucking life support?!” Renjun growls through his teeth and he’s inhaling sharp breaths to keep himself from breaking.
“Your mother is with her, Renjun. The best you can do now is pray.” he replies and Renjun wants to hit him. He wants to punch that holier than thou look off his face. His grandmother was probably on her last breath and his father had the audacity to ask him to pray.
“I have to go see her. I have to take care of her.” Renjun turns and looks around, breathing heavily before he begins to move. But his father grabs at his arm.
“You can’t see her, Renjun. Are you even listening to me? Your grandmother is in the isolation ward. There’s only one family member allowed and your mother is it.” he has raised his voice at him.
“She doesn’t know! She doesn’t fucking care about her! I’m the only one who knows! I have to be there with her!” Renjun shouts at him and he’s only acutely aware that he’s sobbing because his words are loud but inchoate.
“Renjun. Son. There’s nothing we can do.” his father shakes his head at him and watches with his mouth open as his son sobs and barges to the door like a madman. Because Renjun will find a way to get to her. No one cared about her like he did. No one loved her like he did. It had always been him and his grandmother against the world. He needed to be there for her. But the hospital staff is grabbing at him and pushing him out while his father watches from a distance like a helpless man.
Renjun is barely aware that he’s doubling over because his tears are blinding him or that he’s been led outside because the cool air is hitting him. He gets up to charge back in but his resolve is so much weaker now and he feels another hold around him, keeping him back.
"Renjun I'm so sorry. Your mother called me. I don't think she knows about us." Yoo Jimin whispers softly as he falls to his knees. She crouches next to him and puts her arms around him.
And in this strange, awful moment, Renjun finds himself realizing that the arms that are holding him aren't the arms that he wanted. The arms that are soothing him and holding him while he cries into the ground are not the arms he craved.
He wanted the arms that had held him that one night while Renjun had laid his head on their shoulder and bared his heart for the very first time. He wants the arms that had enveloped him and had, for at least a moment, made everything alright. He wanted the arms of the person whose heart he had cruelly broken.
Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.
#renjun fic#renjun angst#renjun fluff#ficscafe#kpopscape#neowritingsnet#dreamwritersnet#huang renjun#renjun#nct#nct dream#nct fic#nct dream fic#nct angst#nct fluff#nct college au#renjun x reader#we met in online class
254 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
bb-loves-boys
Never Saying Goodbye
mjoyner93
Untitled
keerahechoes
Ethereal Cactus
neafblog-blog
NEAF Concursos
essencialpodcast
Sem título