#had a couple of very rough days

[grumpyghostdoodles]

Some grown-up Dreemurrs fashion!

#Frisk is 17 and Ree and Chara 21 #had to check my references bc for the like of my i cant never remember their ages #I think my favorite outfit is frisks! #is the more simple of the three #but i had fun using the magenta. I dont usualy use strong colors so i enjoyed it! #and im in LOVE with thier shoes #theyre platforms btw an if i could grab them for m yself id do it instantly #Charas bag is literally nicknamed trashbag #bc it so busted #but my god they refuse to give it up #patched with ducktape on the inside. multiple patches tp fix the outside. the zipper has been changed 5 times #Toriel wants to burn that bag so badly #but nay it shall remain XD #myart #frisk undertale #undertale #ut #chara dreemurr #chara undertale #chara ut #asriel dreemurr #frisk dreemurr #frisk ut #had a couple of very rough days #and playing dress up with dolls always cheered me up #no longer have my dolls #but i can draw characters in all the silly outfits instead!

[almondpiglet]

making myself content so i can feel alive again

#“there there my lil katsuya-kun... reigen-san will make you feel all better v3v” #maaan....let me live ive had a rough couple of days #eh lost the ref halfway through the first drawing so i had to free ball it... thank you pinterest very cool #my art #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #serizawa katsuya #reigen arataka #serirei #sketches

[alterousuggestion]

i am allowed to not want to give myself intimately in every single aspect to my platonic friends. i am allowed to want to reserve some intimacy for a different type of relationship. i am allowed to be picky about who receives my intimacy, despite being an aromantic who gives my all in friendships.

#this is me. asserting my boundaries. to myself. #i’ve had a rough couple of days #filled with insecurity and guilt and overall feeling very misunderstood #read: sometimes i really really want to kiss someone but my first kiss means something special to me and i don’t want it to be with someone #who does not feel alterously / the same way about me. #it’s not about hitting milestones and getting it over with anymore. i know what i want. i just wish people would understand that #my best friend wanting to kiss me should be amazing by aro standards but it’s filled me with a lot of guilt because i don’t want her to be #my first kiss. because i know she sees the whole thing as an experiment and !! i am not an experiment. i don’t want my first kiss to be an #experiment #i don’t know. it’s very complicated. #i believe wholeheartedly that platonic relationships can encompass so much and it’s all okay #but then i feel like i am playing into the amatonormative agenda when i say i want it to be with someone ‘special’ #everyone is special to me but i want an alterous partner :( i want to be loved in the way i am most comfortable #LONG SIGH #sorry this isn’t a very cutesy post :( been going thru growing pains. #text #admin post #not alterous #aro #aromantic #aroace

[somethingsomethingcomic]

deadnamed at my father's funeral

#parental death tw #family death tw #not sure how else to tag this one #yeah december was a very rough month for me :))) #i actually drew this on the way to my hometown a couple days after i got the news that my dad had passed away #fully anticipating that one of the grueling parts of the process would be the incessant deadnaming and misgendering #bc my dad himself never once used my right name after i came out to him. not once #i asked and we even got in fights about it! bc he just REFUSED to do it #didnt want to think of me as a man at all. i was his only daughter and his baby girl and he didnt wanna accept that id changed #in that way #but i do know bc his wife told me that despite not really accepting the truth about my identity #he was very glad that i seemed happy about it #so i think thats whatll be important to me about it #he didnt get it and didnt really accept it for himself but he was happy that i was happy #anyway it was indeed annoying at the service but more people were chill about it than i expected #and i also had to deal with fewer people than i thought i would #was talking to one of his old band friends who i vaguely remembered and joked that 'i was a girl last time u saw me' #and he said 'youre still a girl' and i just went 'no i am not. the sideburns beg to differ.' #then at the end of the service when people were leaving he came and asked for my New name and when i told him #he was like 'ok ill try to remember that' #i like to think he realized instantly the faux pas he made and was like Yikes. This Is Her/His Dads Funeral. Maybe I Should Be Cool. #anyway. the whole affair was exhausting but i got some nice things out of it too #like hanging out w my brothers #then we got home and me and my wife both had covid bc life wasnt done kicking me in the dick i guess! #im good now i think tho. its fine its fine its fine

[velvetburnt]

characters: m!sydney x oc summary: sydney has nightmares. luckily, he also has ira. warnings: n/a word count: 432

Sydney jolts awake in the dead of night, breathing heavily and hands subconsciously reaching for something to comfort him. He jumps when his fingers actually do find warm skin, stirring awake at his touch. Ira.

"What's wrong?" Ira's tired, slightly slurred voice comes from the dark next to him.

"Ah.. It's nothing, go back to sleep," Sydney mumbles, subconsciously rubbing his hands over his biceps, fingers trembling with the urge to dig his nails into his skin as dread thrums through him.

"Like hell it's nothing." The mattress creaks as Ira sits up next to him, wrapping his arms around his waist and gently resting his head on Sydney's back. "What's wrong, Syd?"

"Nightmare," Sydney mumbles, flushing with humiliation. He only vaguely recalls what it had been about, scattered bits and pieces of his life directly after the loss of his mother. Nothing worth remembering, he knew, but terrifying enough to make him wake up in a cold sweat with goosebumps on his arms.

Ira hums and kisses his shoulder blade. "D'you wanna talk about it?" His voice is thick with sleep but his arms remain firm around Sydney's waist.

"I'm okay," Sydney says, laying his hand on top of Ira's. He closes his eyes and takes a few steadying breaths, focusing on the feeling of Ira solid and present against his back. He leans back into the touch and Ira shifts closer to him, lips finding the back of his neck, pressing soothing kisses on his skin.

"C'mere," Ira murmurs, tugging Sydney back down to lie next to him, holding him against his chest and combing his fingers through his hair soothingly. They lay like this for a few minutes, Sydney resting his head against Ira's chest, listening to the thump of his heart, his bare skin soft and warm.

"Better?" Ira says eventually.

"Mm, yeah," Sydney mumbles, feeling his eyelids start to droop again. Ira watches, waiting, an unreadable expression on his face.

"...I'm here now, alright?" Ira whispers, kissing the crown of his head when it seemed like Sydney was asleep again. "Right here, darling. Not goin' anywhere."

Sydney cuddles closer to him, wrapping one arm around his waist and Ira lets out a muted squeak of surprise, cheeks dusted pink. Sydney's not sure how long it takes him to fall back asleep, Ira now murmuring reassuringly in his ear and brushing his fingers through his hair, but he doesn't wake up again until the sun streaming through the curtains is too bright against his eyes, still pressed against Ira's chest in the same position he'd fallen asleep in, safe and sound.

#sheddingvelvet.txt #oh to hold sydney in my arms while he slept. brushing my fingers through his hair and peppering the top of his head with kisses? aaaa a a a #anyway. ptlbptbtght i miiight toss this at some point? ill be real i wrote this entirely for myself LOL it is. purely self indulgent #but then again that is most of my writing these days so. gotta post Some of it ykno! #still tho. this is my treat to myself after a Rough couple of days! #the sheer amount of self control i had to exert to keep this short was monumental btw. im so very brave etc #ira the firebrand #my writing #degrees of lewdity #dol oc #dol sydney

[pastafossa]

Hey babe, you still alive?

I am, thank you! 😭 I've just been dealing with the absolute refusal of covid brain fog to leave, and poor Spuddy dog needing surgery on Wednesday. It's minor surgery but it's got me S T R E S S E D and I've been a little out of it. I'll feel a lot better once that's done and once I find the missing piece of my brain that covid took

#just had a rough couple days #have also been VERy frustrated cause i'm struggling to focus enough to actually create New Things (TM) #like i can *edit* which is taking the edge off but writing is so SLOW and so is woodcarving which was already slow #i'm forgetting shit constantly #add to that doggo's infection not getting better and thus needing surgery and i've just been blurgh

[legendary-alliance-stance]

hrgh. sorry for being so cranky tonight. today has been really rough emotionally so everything feels much more like a big deal than usual

#for context. uh. my and nick’s partner’s cat had to be put to sleep this morning. #we took care of her for a couple years so she was kind of… our cat as well in a way #it was. a very very very rough day. even if it was for the best. #so I apologize for being so emotional and. prone to lashing out I guess. #tw animal death

[airsigh]

i got a good grade in recovery this week 😎 gonna talk abt it in the tags so keep scrolling if that would bother u!!!! 🫶🏻

#we have established normalized eating!!!!!!!! finally !!!! now i just gotta keep it there #i was worried abt this week bc i did really bad last week and that was kinda my last consecutive warning (the previous weeks were bad too) #and i had a couple REALLY BAD DAYS this week but for the most part i made a lot of improvements! #and she said i’m getting better at being able to identify meals and where i can add more on my own #and i’m better at identifying triggers and being able to act accordingly against the disorder !!! still rough on that one but i’m starting #to get there!!!! AND YALL MY HAIR IS GROWING BACK!!!!! #i don’t just have lit tufts of baby fuzz where my hairline used to be #my hairline is SOLID NOW #and getting thicker everyday!!!! WOOOOOOO #also my we***t was stagnant for a while esp bc i was having a rough go with recovery but it finally went up #i am forcing myself to feel good about that!!!! bc truthfully if it stayed the same or went down; i would not be making progress #and i would either need to redo the week or reconsider treatment options #so i’m glad i don’t have to do that !!!!! #trying to remind myself that yeah i’m getting the we***t back #but i’m also getting my life back too #AND MY HAIR!!!!!! #very excited abt my hair

[uldahstreetrat]

Thank you for all your awesome WoL/OC questions! Love doing them!

thank youuuuuuuu im so happy you like them <3333

#ive had a rough couple days so catch me cryin over this a lil #thank you thank you very much <33

[yo9urt]

beat beegee three last night!

#mine #VERY LONG TAG RAMBLE INCOMING. WATCH OUT #anyway. i was and am absolutely blown away #i understood why its so beloved basically as soon as i started playing it but by the time i got to the end iw as like yeah #this deserves goty and all the actors and writers and everyone who worked on it deserves every award and 1 trillion dollars #it could be because of recency bias lol but i think late act 3 ended up being my favorite section of the game #which i wasnt expecting! lots of people seem to dislike it and i understand why (frame drops + overwhelming amount of content etc.) #but idk i really loved it. the iron throne and house of hope alone (i did those a couple days ago) were STELLAR #yesterday's tasks included killing gort and then going to the morphic pool and finishing the game and i was just enraptured the whole time #the morphic pool and everything that comes after it were just INCREDIBLE #one of the things that stuck out to me the most about the game the entire time i played it but *ABOVE ALL* in act 3 #was the way it makes the stakes feel REAL #the companions are so well written and well acted that i felt genuine attachment to them and they had huge emotional impacts on me #like when i got to the pool i was actually kind of afraid of whatever was coming (i had a rough idea of WHO i would meet) #(but not what would happen or how the fights would go) #and when i turned to my companions and i was like umm. do you think we can do this #and shart was like yes we can :) think of everything we did. that wasn't luck that was US #and la3'z3l was like 'THE GITH WILL BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' i was like YES MAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and i felt so reinvigorated like i was still nervous but i was like well if they believe in me i can do anything #and i am #1 lae'zel defender (not that she needs a defender because shes insane in battle but you know) #so when she was like WE WILL WIN i was like OKAY!! YES WE WILL!! WHATEVER YOU SAY MAAM!! I LOVE YOU!!! #shes so cool shes like my awesome best friend who is not real but i love her anyway #shart is also my best friend but in a different way (i like to think her and my character just bonded really hard over the course of the st #ry especially both being half elves idk i just love them and by the end it seemed like they built a really beautiful friendship) #anyway back on topic. the stakes felt real because of the companions AND because of the npcs and attention to detail #for rp purposes i had my character keep a few notes in his inventory that were just from random unspecified npcs #but they were like 'dont let gortash win' 'i dont want to die to the absolute cult' etc. as like a remember what you're fighting for thing #i just felt so strongly pulled into the world of the game the whole time especially at the end i was like holy fuck #i gotta save all these people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pikonv5]

That's Burmy, my mangy squirrel 🧡

#shes started coming around a bunch a couple weeks ago very patchy and the weather has had so many rough days but now #now it looks like shes grown a decent amount of fur back !!

[amarrymeinbostonwriter]

Sam and Cat from Lip Service (2011-12) in 1920's style clothing.

#this is edited because my current sketch pad has such bad quality paper #the show does NOT take place in the 1920s #it takes place in 2011/12 in Scotland #sam x cat #lip service #lesbians #tv shows #fan art #scottish tv #I think they actually ended up being my favorite couple in spite of everything??? #no spoilers but there is some DRAMA if you know YOU KNOW!!! #Sam and Tess were my favorite characters but Tess never seemed to get anyone to stay with her :( #and half of season 2 for Sam was very rough... I did not like that #I was thinking of drawing Tess too but like AFTER I finish my paper #this was drawn a few days ago I just had to post it #I'm a sucker for butchxfemme yes ma'am #and they were the traditional butchxfemme couple for this show #I think I did 1920s clothes because my brain is half stuck in the 1920s because of the class I'm in rn #1920's fashion #lesbian characters #my drawings #pen and ink #colored pencil #both my paper for class and this show concern lesbians so close enough I suppose #enjoy maybe? #VBL is my new penname that I'm going to use for my writing project (the Sapphic Victorians one which also has new title)

[theloveinc]

Ahem hi I'm the anon who made that song rec of still feel by half Alive and it was all messy and incoherent haha (^～^; )ゞ sorry about that and I'll be sure to proofread next time and I hope you have a good day!

Anon!!!!! You don’t need to apologize for sending an incoherent ask (which it wasn’t, btw). You don’t have to apologize for sending anything EVER, actually!!!

To be entirely honest… I’ve really just been having the worst week ever… so I’ve got a couple messages backlogged that I’ve been meaning and meaning to get to but haven’t had the time yet (you should see my dms + irl texts too… yeesh). Yours, some MLP stuff, some nice anons + moot stuff… even a few bakugo things.

Plus!!! I listened to the song… and I liked it! The only problem was… my aunt (who I currently live with) is addicted to the radio so I think that was playing in the background while I had it on and I didn’t want to respond until I had a chance to hear it forreal. We just all already know how putting something off goes for me smh.

But, it’s really not anyone’s fault except mine and I don’t want you to feel like you’ve done something wrong or have to apologize for something I really did appreciate😥😥😥

I think I say this all the time but. Every single ask I get is a blessing, whether or not I’m able to respond to it… so please don’t ever think it’s something you did❤️

And thank u for letting me use this as an opportunity to vent and express myself a little bit!!! I hope you have a good day, too🙆🏼‍♀️

#I just hope you can be mindful that I’m doing my best! #or rather I should say I hope it’s obvious I’m doing my best #it’s been so hard these last couple days #physically mentally emotionally #and it will continue to be hard at least until I move #which is next week so YAY but… #this week might be even more rough #who knows #I’m truly hanging on by like. a licorice rope #and it makes me glad I left IHB but I’m very glad I never had to burden her with this bad energy and sad caitie #caitie answers #anon

[toastsnaffler]

I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.

#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule #im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep #and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it #drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3 #bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and- #b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant #by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long #i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes #just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to- #go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway #and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao #whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway #ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man #i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-( #im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people- #seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This. #i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in.. #like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still #it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED #UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383 #.diaries #.vent

[eyescanbecruel]

.

#I’m having a rough time rn #a couple days ago I had a family member die unexpectedly and I’m just so exhausted #and I was already kind of burnt out #and it just feels like everything is too much and not enough at the same time #for some reason I feel like I can’t talk about how shit I feel to my friends? #like it feels like I’m too negative all the time even though I haven’t really been talking about things that much recently? #idk I just noticed myself type out a message and delete it bc it felt like too much earlier #and normally I don’t feel that way #this is definitely a vent post btw like I’m not asking for sympathy or validation or whatever #I feel very stagnant but I also have zero motivation to do anything #even the things that I enjoy and are just for fun #I don’t know where to go from here

[fiercynn]

on ao3's current fundraiser

apparently it’s time for ao3’s biannual donation drive, which means it’s time for me to remind you all, that regardless of how much you love ao3, you shouldn’t donate to them because they HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY AND NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

we’ve known for years that ao3 – or, more specifically, the organization for transformative works (@transformativeworks on tumblr), or otw, who runs ao3 and other fandom projects – has a lot of money in their “reserves” that they had no plans for. but in 2023, @manogirl and i did some research on this, and now, after looking at their more recent financial statements, i’ve determined that at the beginning of 2024, they had almost $2.8 MILLION US DOLLARS IN SURPLUS.

our full post last year goes over the principles of how we determined this, even though the numbers are for 2023, but the key points still stand (with the updated numbers):

when we say “surplus”, we are not including money that they estimate they need to spend in 2024 for their regular expenses. just the extra that they have no plan for

yes, nonprofits do need to keep some money in reserves for emergencies; typically, nonprofits registered in the u.s. tend to keep enough to cover between six months and two years of their regular operating expenses (meaning, the rough amount they need each month to keep their services going). $2.8 million USD is enough to keep otw running for almost FIVE YEARS WITHOUT NEW DONATIONS

they always overshoot their fundraisers: as i’m posting this, they’ve already raised $104,751.62 USD from their current donation drive, which is over double what they’ve asked for! on day two of the fundraiser!!

no, we are not trying to claim they are embezzling this money or that it is a scam. we believe they are just super incompetent with their money. case in point: that surplus that they have? only earned them $146 USD in interest in 2022, because only about $10,000 USD of their money invested in an interest-bearing account. that’s the interest they earn off of MILLIONS. at the very least they should be using this extra money to generate new revenue – which would also help with their long-term financial security – but they can’t even do that

no, they do not need this money to use if they are sued. you can read more about this in the full post, but essentially, they get most of their legal services donated, and they have not, themselves, said this money is for that purpose

i'm not going to go through my process for determining the updated 2024 numbers because i want to get this post out quickly, and otw actually had not updated the sources i needed to get these numbers until the last couple days (seriously, i've been checking), but you can easily recreate the process that @manogirl and i outlined last year with these documents:

otw’s 2022 audited financial statement, to determine how much money they had at the end of 2022

otw’s 2024 budget spreadsheet, to determine their net income in 2023 and how much they transferred to and from reserves at the beginning of 2024

otw’s 2022 form 990 (also available on propublica), which is a tax document, and shows how much interest they earned in 2022 (search “interest” and you’ll find it in several places)  

also, otw has not been accountable to answering questions about their surplus. typically, they hold a public meeting with their finance committee every year in september or october so people can ask questions directly to their treasurer and other committee members; as you can imagine, after doing this deep dive last summer, i was looking forward to getting some answers at that meeting!

but they cancelled that meeting in 2023, and instead asked people to write to the finance committee through their contact us form online. fun fact: i wrote a one-line message to the finance committee on may 11, 2023 through that form, when @manogirl and i were doing this research, asking them for clarification on how much they have in their reserves. i have still not received a response.

so yeah. please spend your money on people who actually need it, like on mutual aid requests! anyone who wants to share their mutual aid requests, please do so in the replies and i’ll share them out – i didn’t want to link directly to individual requests without permission in case this leads to anyone getting harassed, but i would love to share your requests. to start with, here's operation olive branch and their ongoing spreadsheet sharing palestinian folks who need money to escape genocide.

oh, and if you want to write to otw and tell them why you are not donating, i'm not sure it’ll get any results, but it can’t hurt lol. here's their contact us form – just don’t expect a response! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#ao3 #otw #archive of our own #organization for transformative works #ao3 is not your savior #and they don't need your money #otw finances