#family death tw
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i accidentally napped and had a dream (nightmare?) where a new update for stardew valley released where everything was the same except on a random day in year 3 Evelyn would just straight up die. There was a whole cutscene that started in her house where she collapsed, and then transitioned over to the hospital where Harvey gave George and Alex the worst news of their lives. However, they got to speak to her where she said something along the lines of "Yoba will protect me, and I am sure he will let me watch over you."
Alex and George would not talk to the player for more than a few words for a full season after this event. George would spend most of his time in the bedroom, so if you had less than 2 hearts with him, you could barely ever speak to him.
And Alex... oh my god, poor Alex. If you were married to him during this event, he just stayed in bed all day. Otherwise, if single, he would just stand on the beach most of the time, staring off into the ocean. If you tried to interact with him, it would just say "Alex is grieving... Better leave him be."
There was also other NPC dialogue like mayor Lewis saying "I haven't seen the community in this state of mourning since your grandfather passed..."
there was also a glitch where you could make Evelyn live forever and there were entire guides for the "immortal Evelyn glitch" that got patched out in the next update. If you tried to perform the glitch after the patch, mr. Qi would tell you that "hey, it happens to all of us. We can't prevent it, and neither can you, no matter how hard you try."
#stardew valley#sdv#death tw#grandparent death tw#family death tw#I DIDNT MEAN TO DOZE OFF AND YOBA PUNISHED ME IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE
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Hi guys, a lot of you might have seen my earlier post explaining my absence, but for anyone who missed it, my mother recently and very suddenly passed away of a hemorrhagic stroke. She was a huge role model to me and I'm extremely fortunate and grateful for the beacon of light and strength she's been for me. Unfortunately, she was the sole breadwinner in our family, and our cruel mistress of capitalism doesn't care about the grieving process.
My cousin was extremely gracious and set up a Gofundme memorial fund. Any contributions will help my family stay afloat while we figure out how to go forward from here, but even if you can't contribute, a reblog will help immensely. Thanks for your understanding and compassion. 💖
#❛ ooc: shut up neg.#death tw#death cw#family death tw#family death cw#ok to rb#non-rp blogs feel free as well
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one thing ive learned about grief is that some days are definitely better than others
#my friend showed me that she added my sister to her ofrenda#and while it touches me that she thought of her and my family#it took me. so long to open her message#...it was so painful. its been really painful#death tw#family death tw
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If you're comfortable, put the specific age in the tags
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crying starters
feel those emotions!!
possible tw: death, depression
WORDS
❝ i’ve never seen you cry before. ❞
❝ i don’t like crying in front of people. ❞
❝ you cry so easily. ❞
❝ stop it with the crocodile tears. ❞
❝ it’s okay to cry, you know. ❞
❝ are you crying in there? ❞
❝ do i need to worry about you? ❞
❝ i’m worried about you. ❞
❝ i’m not crying. ❞
❝ i heard you crying. ❞
❝ please don’t cry. ❞
❝ i’m not crying. it’s allergies. ❞
❝ are you... laughing, or crying? ❞
❝ i just miss him/her. ❞
❝ she/he was lying to me. ❞
❝ she/he broke up with me. ❞
❝ i broke up with him/her. ❞
❝ it was mutual. but it still sucks. ❞
❝ it’s okay. it’s okay. you’re gonna be okay. ❞
❝ i can’t do this anymore. ❞
❝ it’s all just too much. ❞
❝ it hurts so bad. ❞
❝ please stay. ❞
❝ please never do that again. ❞
❝ you’re not a burden. ❞
❝ you’re not bothering me. ❞
❝ we don’t have to talk about it. ❞
❝ we don’t have to talk about it. but i’ll listen, if you want. ❞
❝ i don’t want you to see me like this. ❞
❝ i kind of just want to be alone right now. ❞
❝ i don’t think you should be alone right now. ❞
❝ i just feel so alone. ❞
❝ i’m sorry. i’m getting your shirt all wet. ❞
❝ come on. let’s get out of here. ❞
ACTIONS
**add ↔ to reverse roles, if applicable
[ hug ] - sender hugs a crying receiver
[ shoulder ] - receiver buries their head into sender’s shoulder as they’re given a hug
[ hand ] - receiver covers their mouth/face with their hand to try not to be heard crying
[ loss ] - receiver comforts sender after the loss of a loved one
[ reunion ] - one or both muses cry as they are reunited with each other after a long time apart
[ laugh ] - one or both muses laugh until they cry
[ yell ] - receiver cries after sender yells at them
[ news ] - one muse has to deliver some saddening news, making the other cry
[ together ] - one muse starts crying while holding the other, who is also crying
[ hair ] - receiver strokes their fingers through the other’s hair while comforting them with a hug
[ wipe ] - receiver wipes a tear off the sender’s cheek with their thumb
[ breakdown ] - one muse completely falls apart after holding it together too long
[ injured ] - one muse cries after getting injured
[ kiss ] - one muse kisses the other in an attempt to calm them down
[ trivial ] - one muse starts crying over something trivial (like spilling their coffee or losing a game)
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Special auvember entry, me and my rise bestie wrote our own parts! This is part 1! Part 2 will be posted soon by @daboyau !
@tmntaucompetition
Artificial
“-and the award goes to….Donnie!”
Donatello smirks as he stands up, beginning to walk over to the stage. He carefully fixed the collar of the white shirt under his black suit and purple tie.
He was completely prepared for this. It was just obvious he’d win. The cheering all around him was still music to his ears though.
Reaching the podium, the award was draped around his neck in the form of a medal.
The national medal of technology and innovation.
He pivots back towards the crowd and speaks into the microphone.
“Esteemed guests and colleagues, I stand before you to receive yet another very well deserved award. This probably comes as no surprise to you all at this point, but I appreciate it nonetheless. My achievements are so impressive, I took the liberty of bringing them here with me! Behold!”
With a wave of his hand, the nearby curtain drops and reveals three color coded robots.
The blue robot poses dramatically.
The red robot has his arms folded over each other but smiles proudly.
The orange robot waves enthusiastically.
The crowd cheers louder. Donnie’s smirk only gets bigger.
“As incredibly amazing as my work is, I do have to credit the people I based them off of, my-“
The smirk is wiped completely off his face. The only person he knew in the crowd was April. His other family members were nowhere to be seen.
“….brothers? Where are they?”
“We’re right here, Dontron!” The blue robot leans over.
“You are not my brothers. While I did have this idea as a backup plan, that was only for emergencies! You’re not the originals.”
“Of course we are! You built the perfect family!” The orange robot chirps happily.
“Come on Dee, you’re supposed to show us off. This is your time to shine!” The red robot insists.
“What is this? What’s going on here!?” Donnie begins patting around his pockets to try to find his folded up tech bō.
The blue robot walks over to him.
“Big bro, you need to chill. You’re kind of bumming the mood of your own award ceremony. How about we just go home and watch Lou Jitsu? We can watch Punch Chowder, eat some pepperoni pizza, what do you say?”
Donnie stills for a moment.
“I have just one thing to say.”
“Yeah? What-“
The robot gets a bō to the side of the head that sends it flying into the curtain, pulling it down with him.
Everything starts becoming pixelated and glitchy around the area the robots were. It spreads terrifyingly quickly. He only has time to scream before it reaches him.
He finds himself screaming into darkness. He can feel something on his face.
His hand reaches up and throws it off. It hits the wall and breaks. It seemed to be some kind of headset.
That’s when he realizes several things.
One: He wasn’t alone.
Two: He wasn’t as young as he thought he was.
The headset had messed with his head. In that dream, or more accurately that probably artificially created scenario, he was 16.
He was about twice that age now.
That was very apparent from seeing his brothers also in this small room.
They were slumped over with headsets similar to the now broken one on the ground.
Obviously, they had all aged as well.
The other things he noticed became more apparent as he got his bearings.
Three: He was desperately thirsty, hungry, and his body felt like it hadn’t moved in ages.
From this, it could be concluded that the warped reality had him under for much longer than he thought.
He rushes over to try to take the headsets off his brothers, seeing their lips chapped made them situation all the more urgent.
Who knows if they had been there longer than him?
A strong jolt of electricity has him yoink his hand back in pain.
“Dammit! I can’t get them off….how did I free myself?” He picks up a piece of his broken helmet.
There’s a quiet hiss from himself as he notices the Purple Dragon symbol.
It was Purple Dragon and not Dragons ever since Kendra’s friends left her. An inevitably considering how she treated them.
She was going to pay for this all the same.
There were traces of purple, a different kind of purple, on the headset as well. That extra purple was his own ninpo.
It must have short circuited it.
He drops the piece back on the floor. If he woke himself up, then his brothers would have to too.
But that wasn’t something he could or would want to wait on. It might not even happen. He could have just gotten lucky.
Looking at his brothers, he wonders who he should try to help first.
His eyes land on Leo.
There’s a soft ache in his heart. The last time they saw each other, it didn’t end very well.
If he saved him he might be able to hold it over his head enough for them to have a proper conversation.
And if he was being honest, which he wasn’t, not even to himself, Leo usually had good strategies in situations like these.
He sits down next to him and closes his eyes.
Entering a mind meld again after so many years was an odd experience. That was especially true because of what the headset was doing to Leo’s mind in the first place.
There was some disorientation as he not so gracefully landed on some carpeting. Glancing around, it’s clear that he’s wound up in a random house.
He stands up, rubbing his now sore lower shell.
“What could you possibly want that has to do with a house like this, ‘Nardo?” He mumbles to himself.
Donnie begins to walk around to try to find him.
Sounds coming from nearby lead him into a living room. The couch in there obstructed the view of the two people sitting on it.
They were unfamiliar.
Their voices weren’t.
“Leo, stop it! I know you’re cheating!“
“Me!? You’ve been cheating from the start! This is just my revenge!”
He frowns.
This was a conversation they had while gaming plenty of times. One he hasn’t heard in years.
When was the last time he even talked to him?
“You think that’s enough to win against me? That doesn’t even scrap the surface of my genius ideas!”
God, is this what Leo thinks he sounds like?
“Oh yeah? What else could you possibly have left?”
“This. Oh look at that! Shove.”
Leo gets shoved off the couch.
Okay, maybe that was fair.
Leo was younger here as expected, but also….human. So was the artificial version of himself.
He stares straight at him and gets no sign that Leo can see him.
This would be complicated.
This also isn’t exactly what he was prepared for.
Why was Leo’s perfect world one where they aren’t turtles anymore?
“Cheap shot! Come here!” Leo lunges towards the fake Donnie.
They roll around fighting until the front door opens.
“Guys! We’re home! I got first place at the art exhibition!” Mikey calls out.
Leo shoots straight up, blonde hair messed up by the fight.
“Ha! Told you! I knew you’d win!”
He drops out of view as artificial Donnie pops up instead.
“Mazel. Put your trophy in the case so I can put it in my achievement data.”
“You’ll have to add mine too! Got a plaque from the animal shelter for employee of the month.”
Leo goes back into view.
“Woah, 3rd month in a row Raph. You should be running the place by now.”
Original Donnie walks over to the largest trophy case he’s ever seen in his life. It was not practical by any means.
There were tons of trophies lining the shelves. He expected a lot of them to be Leo’s, but they surprisingly were divided just about evenly among them.
Mikey and Raph place their awards inside. Artificial Donnie inputs the information into a tablet while Leo pats Mikey and Raph’s shoulders in congratulations.
“Boys! Are you home? I brought dinner!” A voice shouts from the kitchen.
Ordinal Donnie’s blood runs cold.
He should have seen this coming.
“Coming, dad!” Leo responds before running to the kitchen.
The artificial brothers follow, as does original Donnie once he’s able to get a hold of himself.
Everyone sat around the table while a human version of their father places takeout on it.
Splinter.
He looks exactly like Lou Jitsu in his prime here.
Oh gods, it’s been so long.
He misses him so much.
Of course Leo would have him here.
“Papa, did you film that scene with the seven deadly vipers move today?” Artificial Donnie asks.
“I did! You should have seen Chad’s face when they sent him in as the stunt double, hehe. Enough about my day, I heard the trophy cabinet opening. Tell me who got what.”
Raph and Mikey happily talk about their accomplishments as the four of them all eat.
Original Donnie felt worse the longer he was there.
He was the only one aware that it wasn’t like this.
That it could never be like this.
He watched as Splinter turned his attention towards Leo and artificial Donnie, praising them for things he had heard about happening earlier in the week.
A good basketball match, an exemplarily grade on a math test.
Jealousy bubbled up inside him as this fake father pat the him that wasn’t him’s head.
The mention of pride broke him.
He slams his hands on the table, purple ninpo dancing across his arms.
“This isn’t your life, dumb dumb!”
The artificial family and Leo finally see him and have looks of fear.
“Who’s that!?” Mikey screams.
“Kids, get behind me!”
“Dad, no! I’ve got this!” Leo insists.
Crap.
Well, if there was one thing that might be able to break Leo out of this, it would be a major shock.
Possibly.
He didn’t have many data points to work with.
Original Donnie leaps over the dinner table and grabs his artificial self.
He didn’t have it in him to hurt the fake Splinter.
“No! Stop! Leave him alone!” Leo shouts, grabbing his plate and throwing it at original Donnie.
Donnie easily deflects it, shattering the plate.
“If you want to save your real brothers, you have to wake up, Leo!”
“What are you even talking about!? Just let him go! Please! You….you can have me instead if you want, okay!? He’s a nerd! You don’t want him!”
“This is the only way.” Donnie slams artificial Donnie’s head into the table.
Leo screams and jumps at him.
After some glitching and pixelating, it’s suddenly the real Leo that’s tackled him.
His hands are around his neck as the pieces of the headset crumble all around him. There’s tears dripping down his face.
“You hurt my brother!”
“I-Idiot! I am your brother!” Donnie struggles.
Leo’s expression takes a second to change, but when it does he finally releases his grip on Donnie’s throat.
Donnie takes in a big breathe and then tries to get said breathing under control.
Leo lifts him up, hugging him tightly.
“Donnie! You glorious nerd, I thought something happened to you!”
Donnie quickly takes the opportunity to hug him back just as tight.
He knew it wouldn’t last very long.
“Leo. I’m sorry, okay? Please just listen to me.”
“Huh? Of course, why wouldn’t I-“
The disorientation finally fades away and Leo let’s him go.
“Oh.”
“Leo, I didn’t mean any of it.”
Leo looks anywhere but him, which let’s him see Raph and Mikey still unconscious.
“Did you do this? Did you bring us all here?”
“No! It was Kendra, I don’t know why, but I know how to fix it.”
“Then why would we waste time having a conversation!? Help them, Donnie!”
“Because if we don’t talk now you’re going to leave the moment this is all handled!”
“Oh, I’m going to leave!? That’s hilarious! Dad did always say you were the funniest, didn’t he!?”
“Leo-“
“The funniest thing you ever did was say you were getting some air at the funeral and not coming back!”
“I didn’t-“
“Or maybe it was even funnier when I found your room empty! Just hilarious! I was venting to a door with no one on the other side! Perfect time to make me look like an idiot!”
“That wasn’t my-“
“No no, it was actually comedy goal when I managed to find you and I was so so happy I did. It was when you told me that if I needed something I could just ask the robot you left behind. It was when you refused to come back with me and said to consider you gone too! That’s it!”
Donnie looks down in shame.
“I didn’t know how to handle how I felt. You had everyone else. It’s not like I left you alone.”
“I only had Raph and Mikey for a few more years! We all split off because we weren’t whole anymore! Did you think I was okay!? With you gone I had to pretend so hard I was because I wanted to help Mikey keep us together! Mikey of all people gave up, Raph gave up! I failed as a leader! And you weren’t there!”
“I already told you I’m sorry! What do you want me to do to have you forgive me!? Whatever it is I’ll do it!”
“I want you to act like it was a tough decision to leave me behind! To leave all of us behind! I want you to lie and say you missed me! Missed our family!”
“You think it wasn’t hard for me….?”
“You didn’t hesitate! You had no emotion on your face! You snubbed me that whole last conversation we had!”
Leo’s face softens as he sees Donnie shaking.
“I’ve never regretted something more in my life! I do miss you! I miss you and Raph and Mikey and I miss dad! I threw myself into years and years of inventing and hiding and any distraction I could get my hands on! By the time I snapped out of it….I felt like it was too late. You all moved on. I didn’t deserve to talk to you again after what I did. Even now I hoped being the one to save you was enough for….something! Anything! I…I….am pathetic.”
“…..Yeah, you’re pathetic….”
Donnie breathes shakily.
“Let it all out, I guess-“
Leo once again clings to him.
“But so am I. I love you, Donnie, even if you’re the dumbest genius I know. I’m so pissed….and even if you had come back earlier I still would have been. But I will always let you come back.”
Donnie returns the clinging and presses his face into Leo’s shoulder, quietly sobbing.
They continue holding onto each other until they finally feel they can let go.
Donnie wipes his eyes.
“I used a mind meld and ninpo to bring you out of it. You couldn’t tell I was there until my ninpo activated. I had to make you activate yours too to break the headset.”
“So that’s how we can save Raph and Mikey.”
“Yes, but we have another problem.”
“What is it?”
“Judging by the light from the one window in this room, the small amount of time I spent in your artificial prison was actually a few hours.”
“We don’t have that much time to save them then. I’ll help Raph while you help Mikey. Afterwards, we find a way to escape.”
“I have to admit, hearing you lead again is somewhat strange.”
Leo chuckles softly.
“Maybe if you had left an address for me to send Christmas cards to, I could have let you know that I’ve got new guys I’m helping out. Nothing like we were doing, but….helping with a yokai theatre camp in my spare time is still something.”
“I’d….like to hear more when we have time. Truly.” Donnie smiles softly.
Leo smiles back.
“I’m going to hold you to that. Now let’s get to saving them so we can hold it over their heads forever.”
Donnie nods.
They sit down next to their brothers and begin their mind melds.
Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too late.
#2018 tmnt#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#fanfiction#rise fanfiction#rottmnt fanfiction#tmnt 2018#rise leo#rottmnt michelangelo#save rise of the turtles#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#family death tw
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hard read under the cut. tw for death.
things i wish i wouldn't have to remember
the way her eyes bulged.
her tongue, pushing out between her teeth. i tried to pry her jaws apart, to clear her airway, but they were locked tight. i couldn't. her tongue was bleeding.
her eyes bulged. they pointed in different directions. like a ghibli character, enraged.
"i'm a little dizzy," she had said, before she listed to one side. before her eyes did that awful thing.
i grabbed her face. i righted it. i pointed it at me.
"mom!" i called. "yeah?" she said. "MOM!" i called. her eyes slid back to center, on me. "what?" she said. it wasn't speaking, really. her mouth barely moved. her tongue pushed.
these were the last words she said to me.
i was right there, kneeling in front of her. her head in my hands. calling to her.
her color was bad. so so bad.
i saw her eyes go away. i saw her stop breathing.
i hauled her to the floor. you need a hard surface to start cpr. her jaws rigid, couldn't clear her airway. called 911. wailed. mom's not breathing! mom's not breathing!
chest compressions. 911 had to remind me how to place my hands.
my brother told me, later, when i told him i was never going to forget how her eyes went fixed, that he was never going to forget the sight of me, throwing all my weight onto her chest.
he was there, throwing open the front door and hauling furniture out of the way. could hear sirens now. dog barking.
men coming in. man with a braid said, "i'll take over from here, sweetheart." his chest compressions looked a lot different from mine.
lot of men after that. women, too. all in blue. lots of plastic on the floor. they cut her sweatshirt off. the teal one, with the poinsettias. her shirt, her bra. she always tucked kleenex in her bra, for when her pants pockets were too far away. it went everywhere.
a machine. like an engine. they put it over her chest and strapped her wrists to it, so she was holding it up. it did the chest compressions now. hard. her body jerked with each one. she would have liked to see it.
a man, to me: is she allergic to anything? me, to him: everything. but nothing medical.
him, to me: does she have any health problems? me, to him: everything. breast cancer, diabetes, bad kidneys, eczema.
him, to the others: diabetic. get a sugar.
it was 570.
the thought, then, like a blow. like an axe to the head: had /I/ done this?
she just had a bout of diarrhea. i KNEW she tended to slide on her diet when she had the runs, to keep up her salts.
diabetic means no starch. but she needs a high fiber diet, too, her doctor said, and there's fiber in beans, peas, some vegetables. but the most fiber is in grains.
so we compromised. i would give her a high-fiber cereal for breakfast, when she was most likely to take her insulin straight afterward. healthy blood sugars are below 120. she usually ran in the 200s, even fasting.
never 570.
i didn't think about how she'd probably eaten something salty starchy. i didn't think that she probably would have forgotten her nightly insulin. i gave her breakfast as usual.
i didn't know, then, that it had been her heart. i thought it was a diabetic coma.
we were on the floor for half an hour. they stopped the machine twice, to check. i knew what a flatline sounded like.
a man, to me: sometimes in this situation we can call it. but your mother's markers are rising, which tells me her body wants to function. we'll take her to the hospital so they can try.
onto the stretcher. out the door.
it's december. below freezing. they put the blanket under her, to protect her from the stretcher. nothing on top of her. because of the machine, maybe?
my mom is hard to embarrass. but outside with all those men around with her breasts hanging out in the air would have flustered even her, i think.
hospital. there was an underground garage for parking. i was still in my nightdress. i'd grabbed a sweatshirt for my mom, thinking she'd want one since they cut her other one off, but i'd forgotten anything for me. fuck, it was cold.
a room in the lobby with a door that shut.
then a doctor. i don't remember her name. and trista, the chaplain.
it doesn't look good, they said. would you like to see her?
of course i would. what kind of question is that.
it was the first room inside the doors. so many people swarming. i couldn't have gotten to my mom's side even if i wanted.
doctor touched my arm. pointed to the heart monitor. said, surprised, "the situation's turned around. they've got her."
said, "but she was gone for so long. i want to manage your expectations. the brain damage is likely very severe."
i would take care of her no matter what, i said. she's my mom.
i wish
i wish now
with all my heart
i wish i had called out to her. while they had her. while she was there.
i wish i wish i wish
mom don't you dare leave me. mom you're going to be so mad if you miss this. mom. mom mom mama. don't leave me here.
but i didn't want to interrupt. mom was a retired medical professional. she trusted the process implicitly. and so many people were working so hard to save her.
she crashed again. they called it at 11:27am.
do you know the strangeness of a body in a hospital with nothing hooked up to it?
there's no mistaking a corpse for anything else.
her forehead was cold. her hand was cold. i hadn't brushed her hair yet that morning, so it was frizzing out of the braid she'd slept in. they'd closed her eyes.
i think i stroked her forehead so much that my warmth transferred into her, because when my brother got there it was better.
trista said (and signed, to our surprise,) take all the time you need.
but, not long later, and with genuine regret, i'm so sorry, but they need the room.
oh no, i said to my mom, i'm going to steal one more kiss. and did.
a frequent joke. would kiss her head once i'd gotten her comfy on the sofa, and then goblin scuttle back to steal one more. she'd laugh. oh no! she'd echo. not my daughter! not a kiss! her short term memory had been fraying, so it was a new joke every time.
closed the door behind my brother and i.
trista had been right: the er waiting room was packed. standing room only. with us, tear-stained, and trista, it was obvious what kind of procession we were. i hoped it helped someone; no one's ever in the er for anything good, but i hoped someone could look at us and think, at least i'm not them.
home, then.
my brother had tidied. cleaned the plastic up and the remains of mom's clothes, and her pill bottle that i'd knocked to the floor when i'd hauled her off the sofa. he'd adjusted the pillows, straightened the towel. it looked like a sofa in anyone's living room, not like the place my mother had nestled into and lived for the last six years.
her doctor called. emily. we saw her once a month. she's genuinely the best. all those posts warning you about bad faith doctors and to not be afraid to be firm and finding one to take you seriously, and we found her on the first try.
it had just come through on the patient portal, she said. oh my god, oh my god, honey. i'm so sorry.
emily, i said. wailed, really. emily, did i kill her? her blood sugar was 570.
no, she said. no no no. elizabeth, no. it was her heart. it says right here. it was a heart attack.
it was the first i'd heard of it.
how, i said. how? her heart was the only thing that wasn't wrong with her!
but there's no answer to that, of course.
it's so quiet.
it's two days, now. and it's so quiet. no tv, no wheels clattering on the tile as she trundles to the bathroom or into the kitchen to get more iced tea from the fridge. no one calling for me to maybe do that last thing for her, pretty please.
so quiet. my mom's not here.
things i am likely never ever ever to forget
it's the same list
#family death tw#i want to do another post. about all the good things i'm going to remember.#but i think i have to wrestle my way through the gruesome first#and put it in its place
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feliz dia de los meurtos
Today I’m thinking of my friend Kae, who passed away far too young just a few years ago. We hadn’t parted on good terms the first time, but she tracked me down and we rekindled our friendship when she was at Stage Four, and I’m grateful for the time that I got to spend with her in her last days.
I’m thinking of my cousin Jon, whose struggle with substance abuse ended him. I wish he could have gotten the help he needed to overcome that struggle and grow into a better person. No, it wasn’t his substance abuse that made him a rotten person; he was screwed from the start on that front by bad parenting. Today I will honor his memory with sobriety and kindness in his name—the two vital things he lacked.
I’m thinking of my grandfathers and my grandmother, three complicated and angry people. Today I will honor their memory by showing my parents the love they should have gotten from them and by remembering the good times with them when I was young.
To whom do you feel close today, though they’re no longer with us?
#caduceus clay#dia de los muertos#critical role#critical role fanart#calavera#psa i’m from san antonio this is very much my cultural heritage#critrole fanart#the mighty nein#family death tw#my art#plz how do i fandom#cr c2#cr2
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Sorry I haven't been active at all, one of my relatives passed away and I have to go to the funeral on Friday. I actually wasn't very close with him at all and actually the aforementioned issue I posted about wasn't regarding this particular relative, so I'm just very stressed and not really in the right mindset for posting ;;
#family death tw#not selfship#once again bad thing upon bad thing happening in the family :(#this sucks!!!#:/#ky shut up#my post
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Oversharing a bit but my abusive grandma died and I'm really conflicted about it but I did a tarot reading and got a nice parting message so maybe things will start to get better . But it's been hard mentally on me, I only found out today...
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OPEN STARTER: Frenchie
With everyone back together again, the crew had gotten a British Naval ship in it's sights and decided to raid it for supplies. Wanting to get back into the swing of things and gel again as a full crew.
They were surveying the deck from the Revenge, readying to board when the ships servants came on deck, making them hesitate for a moment. When one of the servants turned around, a chill ran through Frenchie and he froze on the spot.
It had been years, but... he still remembered that face. He would always remember that face.
His mother...
He felt as if every ounce of breath had left his body. His mother was right there. After all these years... she was there. Frenchie tried to will himself to say something, to tell someone who she was and that they needed to get to her. But he was so in shock that he couldn't move.
The shock turned into horror only a moment later when the Captain of the ship turned to the group of servants and even from the Revenge it could be seen how he was admonishing them. Yelling something that was lost on the wind until suddenly raised his gun and fired it at his mother. Killing her instantly.
Frenchie cried out but it was drowned out by the rest of the crew yelling and springing into action. It didn't take long before the crew of the ship were either killed or taken captive for ransom. Frenchie had gone numb whilst everything happened, barely anything registering with him. Commands not reaching his ears.
Whilst the rest of the crew were taking the captives and any supplies back over to the Revenge, Frenchie made sure that all of the servants got onto one of the small boats the Naval ship used to go to shore with enough supplies to last them and a little more. He had wrapped up his mothers body and the servants promised to make sure she would get a proper burial before he sent them on their way.
Returning to the ship, Frenchie hadn't said a word the entire time and, whilst everyone else was going over everything and celebrating, he went below deck. Face expressionless and not hearing any words that made have been said after him.
He found a quiet spot that he knew no one ever really went to and sat down upon the floor, drawing his knees up to his chest and curling his arms around them. Eyes closed tight as Frenchie tried to will what had just happened into the little box he kept within his mind for all the bad things he had seen. But no matter how hard he tried, the box just wouldn't close. Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes the harder and harder he tried to force it closed. But it was too much and he could almost see the cracks beginning to form.
Frenchie was so lost within his mind that he didn't hear someone approaching.
#ic#muse: frenchie#open to mutuals#open starter#spoilers: ofmd#spoilers: ofmd s2#non rp blogs do not interact#non mutuals do not interact#family death tw#tw family death#tw: family death#cw family death#cw: family death#family death cw#family death mention#death mention tw#tw death mention#tw: death mention#cw death mention#cw: death mention#death mention#cw
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I'll probably be on semi hiatus to full hiatus for a while
I lost my mom to a stroke. So I'm really not feeling up to a lot of stuff, plus I'm gonna have to step up and be a functional, salary-having adult now bc she was the main breadwinner in our family.
I'm not sure what to say. I've been crying for a good 24 hours probably on and off. There were no warning signs outside of the usual headaches she got. She was on medication. No one could have seen it coming. She was decorating for Christmas when she started having symptoms.
I'm very close with my parents and she's probably my biggest role model. I'm trying to be strong, but I'm going to need time to figure out what to do with myself and my life.
Kudos if you read this far, and thanks. I'll make it out of this and be back to writing soon. Maybe sooner than I think. I'll probably need a creative outlet while we arrange for services and such.
#❛ ooc: shut up neg.#❛ ooc: hiatus notice.#death tw#death cw#family death tw#family death cw#vent tw#vent cw
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My uncle passed away a few days ago. I didn't get the news until yesterday which is why I went radio silent. I really don't know how to process death it's something that happens a lot in my family and I still get really triggered by it somehow. I really appreciate those that reached out to me and sent blessings and good vibes. I couldn't ask for better support in a time like this. Thank you so much you are all so sweet and caring! I am gonna be around today but I don't know if I will get much done in the way of replies. I might take the weekend to myself if anything and just do asks. I haven't decided yet. But I thank you for reaching out and being there. You are all so wonderful!
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I hate being an adult...
Personal rant under the cut, dear Tumblr diary
TW: mention of death
I just found out that my dad's twin sister died and not really sure how to break the news to him. It's gonna be hard and I can't deal with it. he wanted to move near her in a couple years and we've been talking on how to make that work, find a house nearby her & getting ready to make the move and now she's gone.
The elder sister had me call her to find out, our cousin called her to tell her, and now we are struggling on how to tell him. The elder sister is a bit upset that nobody said anything and i told her it was a matter of privacy, she didn't want to broadcast that and get fake pity from fake people. I would most likely do the same, but fuck my dad called her every week. The little sister is such an ass and we (with our dark humor) were making jokes... but then I told her, "imagine someone came to you and said- your brother is dead BYE!! 🤣🤣 " and really we haven't stopped crying (cause we can't live without our brother). I liked that lady.
My dad has been calling me, asking if we are okay? He's been telling me something was wrong, that he's had bad dreams lately. He's worried and can't figure it out. Fuck man.
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I am yet again apologizing for my inactivity.
I haven’t really had the motivation to do anything here for a while because my living situation has been unstable as of late and the conditions aren’t great. And I know I had already said that I had a death in the family but it’s important to specify that it was my grandfather, he raised me along with my grandmother so it has been really difficult. I’ve been really struggling to get back into the things that I enjoy especially between all the stress and trying to find a job. Sorry this is kind of rant-ish. I just felt that I should update everyone here on my situation so it doesn’t seem like I’ve just disappeared again.
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my mother passed away this morning.
#queue will probably spit out half-tagged posts until it runs out.#it was unexpected. she was fine at 8 and by 11 she was gone.#every decision of my life for the past six (twelve. fifteen.) years has revolved around caring for her.#everything is going to be v. strange from here .#family death tw
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