#guess its my job now

[gl1tchxr]

i have made it my personal goal to listen to every single splatoon remix and fan song on youtube. i'm about 300 in and my main takeaway so far is that i am now downloading audio software to make my own

#ghost post #i dont mean this in an 'i can do better' way the vast majority of them are actually really good #i mean it in a 'why hasn't anyone made a remix of this song yet' kind of way #seriously three girl from inkopolis remixes and not a single ink or sink??? #guess its my job now

[bleue-flora]

Wait... Dream was born on August 12, 1999 and Dream was arrested in the Disc Finale on January 20, 2021 soo... wait, wait, wait, that means he was only 21 when he was imprisoned for life in a small lava covered box!... Did I do that math right? 21?! Man was barely able to drink legally in the United States and they gave him a life sentence in a boiling cell with nothing but lava, raw potatoes, a clock, and some books?!... oh my god...

#sorry.... I just... give me a minute to process... I mean I knew we were close in age but I guess I never really thought about it #sometimes I forget it happened all the way back in 2021 and just... wow. #and Tommy would have been 16 so getting his driver's license in most states... The age gap is like that of my siblings and huh... #my brother can be a real prick... its a weird thought to imagine him getting through in prison just for messing with us... damn... #dreblr #c!dream #this is fine #don't mind me researching for my lastest maddening project..... i can't stop thinking about Dream being Sam's project....... #I'd blame my job but... let's be honest the prison arc lives rent free in my brain lol XD #dsmp #dsmp dream #dream smp #dreamwastaken #no one does it like c!dream #prison arc #pandora's vault #dishing up lore #kinda? I guess... #lore thoughts #ouch... I'm older than c!dream was in prison now... poor baby... :'(

[kineticallyanywhere]

Monkey’s Paw pages 133-136 ( START HERE || ao3 || previous || next ) AU after episode 62. The Omega Dads try a more desperate gambit, but   careful what you wish for. Our dads find alternate versions of themselves in a strange dreamscape. Ifyou die in the dream, doyou die in real life?

...heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #fanart #what the heck happened last summer? uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh #anyones guess really #i other news s2 has been validating some of my plans for this comic in INSANE ways #hyped to be smug about it #also comfort drawing feels nice #i needed this back in my life #and i will no longer be spending my lunches being social in any way so i should have more drawing time! that turns into a plus i guess #i did some of this drawing during a lunch #also will be doing other job during lunch #monkeys paw #kineticallyart #if something looks worng or is missing uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh no it doesnt #its a dream we're fine #darryl totally hasn't forgotten that he should be bleeding right now nope #for the record it wasnt JUST the daunting amount of detail effort #that frankly i was losing track of #that made me take so long to get back to this #but its not NOT that yknow? #i decided i care more about pacing myself and getting it out than making it Perfect #which was always the goal with this thing

[toontownportraits]

ohhh my god you're trapped in a role deriving never ending guilt and misery out of you that you've found no way out of? should we throw a party? should we invite toby fox

[anniversary art for part 2 !! ron staedtler you will always be famous to me]

#the bagel draws #fanart #inside job #inside job netflix #inside job fanart #ron staedtler #inside job anniversary #ty to memey in the scc server for suggesting the song!! song is amnesia was her name by lemon demon #imgonna schedule this for the morning since its 1 am rn LOL. my neck hurts #i put on ij in the background and now its on appleton. guess who's shedding tears tonight babyyyyyyyyy #ACTUALLY. im posting it now. see my staedtler art boy

[savage-rhi]

Magenta.

#i lost my job #even though they're not saying its because of my disability it is because of it #I've been applying to places and some of the safety nets i had fell through #im scared right now and feel very betrayed #i got enough to get me through the month but beyond that idk what to do #i have resources im looking into and as most know that doesn't put a dent into finances #i need help #i feel bad for asking and i know i preach people shouldnt feel ashamed #but i do get where folks are coming from with that #the shame is powerful especially when you pride yourself as someone that takes care of themselves #im open to ideas opinions whatever folks want to say #i haven't felt this triggered ptsd wise in a long time past homeless experience and work abuse has been creeping in #I'm trying to get to the good but its really hard seeing it right now after getting screwed for the millionth time #for something i can't control with my body #i guess on a good note that partnership meeting went well #it seems like an excellent opportunity but its also an investment and i don't have the means to put into that right now

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[darcyolsson]

oh my god last night my friend drunkenly confessed to me that she had been feeling very lonely these past few months and i told her i'd been feeling the exact same and we were both kind of shocked bc we both felt like the other person was doing amazing (which also kept both of us from reaching out, bc the other person seemed busy and intimidatingly happy) and it was this really weird moment which felt like smth from a play or something. like real life dramatic irony. and the craziest part is that she literally lives a two minute walk away from me too so we were literally having our simultaneous lonely breakdowns across the street from each other. so i guess what im trying to say is check on your friends and dont believe social media

#personal #really weird thing to find out but im glad we talked ab it. we're going to hang out more now<3 #also when i told her i'd been miserable she immediately mentioned that she saw on my social media that id been partying #and i immediately knew which post she meant bc it was this august photo dump thing i posted which did have a lot of pics from this 1 party #but i specifically remember struggling to find enough pictures for that post bc i'd spent most of the month miserable at my parents' place #it was so ironic. the thing that for me really confirmed my loneliness on a personal level was what convinced her not to reach out #guess it did do its job of fooling everyone that i was doing great lmfao but At What Cost!

[sonknuxadow]

was really excited for sonic 3 at first but the more information that comes out about it the more nervous i get. we barely even know anything yet and they somehow keep making all the wrong decisions. Come on man.

#first the eggman fatphobia now theyre allegedly picking one of my least favorite fan castings for shadow #i knew they wouldnt pick an actual voice actor but i was hoping at the very least that it would be an idris elba knuckles situation #where they pick somebody no one expected but did a decent job and made it clear that they care about doing the character justice #not just. one of the most popular fancasts. that i happen to really not like #ughhh whatever man #if this is real (which the general assumption seems to be that it is because the site that reported it is usually reliable) #i guess ill give him a chance and actually hear what voice he puts on for shadow before deciding if its bad or not #but im not happy about this decision

[neptunesailing]

mayoi (enstars x hnk au)

#nep draws things #ensemble stars #enstars #sketch #mayoi ayase #enstars x hnk au #hnk au #ouoououououu i am soooo proud of the mayo on the right hjhjrhgrghrhgrhghgrghrhg he is so !! #showed this to a friend before i posted and they said his hair would taste like frozen grapes and i had to break it to them that it'd break #their teeth JHDHJFHJSDHJFHJSHJFSJD anywayy i might redraw the aira one.. he needs some attention too ^_^ sorry i only design for hii.ai / #alkaloid but THEY ARE MY FAVS........ by this logic i should be drawing more sw.itch but . i just . *waves hands* alkaloid !!! alkaloid so #special to me.. anyway tatsumi has another job other than patrolling with mayo which is why mayo has the winter uni and tatsun has the norm #i was maybe thinking tatsun would be a healer like rutile is..? nothing is set in stone (pun intended) for now ahha but tatsun can still #fight jsut fine!! hes more of a watcher for mayo. mayo fights more since his hardness lvl is much higher than tatsun's. during the spring a #stuff tho i think mayo kinda hides around? still not sure.. youd probably see him around tho in the shadows (ala canon i guess) and i guess #thats how hiiro and aira get to know mayo outside of patrols.. OH the reason why mayo is on winter patrol is because he gets too nervous #working with other gems and he kept messing up and hiding away whenever he did mess up so :((( yeah he usually fights by himself OH I SHOUL #EXPLAIN WHY HE CAN SPLIT INTO 2 its because of the spinel law something somethign rotated at 180 degrees at some axis but ANYWAY his hair #is longer in his singular form but you can see in his split form his hair is cut differently than how we normally see mayo's hair- and also #theyre mirrored!! their braids are on different sides and the side w/o the braid is shorter!! and the moles are on opposite sides too heheh #holy shit i wrote so much in the tags..... anyway THANK YOU SOS SO MUCH TEA FOR REMINDING ME OF THE HNK AU AGAIN AND ENABLING ME TO GO #INSANE OVER THIS AU AGAIN UR AMAZINGGGG <333333

[angelpuns]

It just hit me that I am quite literally floating around like a little jellyfish rn...I am just floating here...I just do things day in/day out and don't have long term plans I don't like that I don't like that at all

#i am #freaking out a little #i sat down in the middle of my cleaning and i #think too hard #like i dont have a job #i mean #its been like thus for several months but back then i had a single plan #at least there was that #and now i have nothing #i dont like thus #i guess i have art sthff #but it is so small #and idk #it feels like people dont enjoy ut as mhch as they did before #kid leo specifcially doesnt feel like people look forqard to it as mhch #idk why #augh

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#feeling unmoored. feels weird. directionless i guess #i just dont feel like i have a purpose rn. like whats the point of all this? i dont kno #and my head feels so empty. like im not obsessed with anything. my brain isnt overheating and forcing me to do things for better and worse #its too quiet. i have to assume that's the medication bc its literally never been like that ever. but again it makes me feel unmoored #what am i supposed to do if im not being dragged forward by the force of my own compulsions? whats the point of all this? #im sure it doesnt help that im so self isolated. i just dont kno how to have friends. or reciprocate feelings #or feel happiness in a way that makes sense. maybe aiming for happiness is too high a goal. maybe the best i can hope for is to be occupied #and not completely miserable. i dunno. i dunno. #but i have to actually start looking for a job this weekend bc grades are due Tuesday and then im adrift #even more so than now. its just so frustrating bc i dont even want to draw in a way that ive never experienced. its like i just dont care #about anything and my time feels empty. i dont kno what to do. i hate this #unrelated

[mschismosa]

Why is it seemingly impossible to find other almost 30 year olds in some fandoms who are

a. Active

and

b. Not the kind of 30yo who have vague-post beef with teens on twitter

I dont want to be that old weirdo in the crowd of 20yos but from personal experience, 25yo+ fans with a “you don’t wanna deal with a devil like me” ass attitude make me wanna bang my head against a wall.

Can we not just sit back & talk about asoryuri and swap fics and doodles in peace yes or no

To be fair i do have friends that i like and are really chill, only downside is they do not care even a little bit about ace attorney LMAO

#sorry i turn 27 tomorrow & its weighing on my mind #i miss my old jojo mutuals but we’re all tired and working our jobs rn #my buddies r either on hiatus or deep in other fan trenches like i am with aa #i blab to a few people a little bit & it keeps me sane #anyway #thats life i guess #hoping & praying theres a chill late 20s someone playing dgs right now & getting the brainrot #or a long time fan whos about to bust in & become super online again #if ur over 25 can i try rizzing you up PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLESSE #chisme

[m0etenchandon]

Is this the part where I go: "is this thing on?"

#she talks #its been a hot minute #aka two years #do people still use tumblr? #sometimes #especially when i drink wine #i realize that i have dirty filtyy fan fics on here with like 2-3k notes #thats wild #now im into reading books with smut so i guess we have come full circle #my life is so different now #i am enganged #have a brand new house and a nice car #job and all #so thats that

[b4kuch1n]

I'm not gonna screenshot it bc 1/it really doesn't matter that much and 2/the person who made the comment is a kid but: a while ago I made a comic that's supposed to be a genuine study and reinterpretation of someone else's sprite comic (made in the spirit of authenticity too - to recreate the vibes of the sprite comics from that era, iirc very specifically because it's funny) and I got a comment on that comic's post that's like "glow up"

which is a compliment obvs. and the commenter probably didn't mean anything by it, it's a common expression. but I've been trying to find a way to gracefully put that comment away ever since it appeared lol

I just very much don't want my art to be taken as trying to one-up someone else's art when that's not the piece's intention. especially when the piece that inspired my art is perceived as "low effort" or "shitpost" or stuff like that. I did mention in the tags of that post that my considering it a study is entirely genuine, and I can legitimately write pages about the cool stuff I find in it other than and inherent in the haha funneys, but that's not for you guys that's for me. I just think that approaching art competition-first like that is a miserable way to do it, and (tipping into overthinking here if the whole tiny-comment-got-stuck-in-my-brain-for-almost-a-month part hasn't given that away yet lol) I really don't want that to be the takeaway from my own art. at least generally. if I actually think the source material is trash and what I'm doing is genuinely categorically better I'd just come out and say it lmao

#bakuspeech #yeah it's the darkhog sprite comic #honestly I don't love comments that put my art and other artists' art in a hierarchy in general. wherever my art lands on that scale #especially when it comes to character writing and trans 'representation' #which like. idk man I'm writing One character. he's NOT gonna be The Trans Experience. he's gonna be one character. #but yeah I'd guess I'm writing it all out in a post bc it's not really a race that anyone opts in #I don't actively participate but by virtue of how my art is perceived I just end up on the scale anyway #so uh. I'm suggesting that we do not bring the scale into my house at all lmao #there's also the like. Don't Yuck My Yum guideline of looking at art that's like #I like the things I'm aping! most of the times! if I don't say it's shit and I'm drawing stuff from it usually that means I like it lol #and then you kinda come in like wow what you're doing here is better than the thing you like. and it's not like yknow. #really anything. it's extremely trivial comparatively. but you are in fact yucking my yum there #tldr please try not to think abt art u like vs art u don't as ''better'' or ''worse'' and #have grace for the things that don't please u personally. anyways I'm omw to finishing the frog now. just need to fell all the seams down #and put that boy in da spinner for a ride. and then it can live in a gift bag until the day #I really enjoy holding it actually... maybe after this one I'll make something else. tbh slick stretchy fabrics are superior to fuzzy fabri #doesn't pill And cooler to touch. stuffed toys for the subtropical population #I'll get a combilation of pics once the thing's at its new home. but for now. we must finish the job

[petitelappin]

I am once again thinking about Seth Ingersoll Brown (or Browne). I've been digging into his family life again. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but he just strikes me as a genuinely kind man trying his best to do right by the people around him. I know that's a lot to ask of a dead man, though.

#my art #digital art #sadies day job #history #lucy and seth #im establishing that as a tag now i think #sometimes it feels weirdly wrong to me drawing his face when i only have guesses at what it looked like #i guess i could draw asa's face there (hi asa!) but its fun to experiment with hiding the face too

[dawntheduckrb]

I didn't know how exactly to make one of these so I just picked my favorites from each month :3 there were some months I didn't really do a lot (and some where I did a ton) and that made this really hard, so I picked some honorable mentions too haha

Also, since I think it was a neat side-by-side...

I did that redraw of Ralsei from A Heart, Frozen in Time, and putting it side by side with how I drew it a little over a year ago, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. I drew it twice last year; the one on the left was the final version, and the one on the right was my first overly-ambitious attempt

And cut to now...

Looking back on it, I completely messed up the hat the second time around (wrong color, no ear covers), but I guess that's what happens when you try to do something from memory instead of pulling up a reference haha.

Regardless, I see where I need to improve still, but I'm still very proud of how far I've come in just a year. This new one didn't take me nearly as long, and I'm light-years more confident with my work than I used to be. I'm more comfortable with rendering in color (although, the rendering in this one is very light), and I hit my primary goal for the year: anatomy (he has elbows in the right place now! and shoulders!! woah!!!)

Going into the next semester, I'll be taking a figure drawing class, so I'll keep working on anatomy. Because of that, I think I want to shift my focus towards thinking more about color going forward. Gonna try and push myself to make my color schemes a bit more thought out, since that's a huge aspect of composition building (which I also need to work on). This is a personal goal, so I don't know how crazy I'll go with it, but it'll be something I try to be more mindful about.

Anyway, that's my all for my wall of self reflection, so with that all said...

Happy New Year everyone :D 🎉🎉🎉

#i did a horrible job cropping these but oh well #my real new year goal is to get better at cropping i guess #/hj #not related to art but i made a couple new friends this year as well :) #reconnected with an old one irl and met a couple online #its the first time in ages I've actually felt like I've had an actual friend #and now i have quite a few #it's a nice feeling ^-^ #this next semester has me terrified but I'll be okay #this time i have people to talk to about it :D #happy new year people in my phone 🎉🎉 #not rb