#good mule

[ravynfyre]

So, story time, chilluns.

Helmets will save your life. I don't care what you are doing, if the safety gear includes a helmet, FUCKING WEAR ONE. I mean, things like being a motorcycle cop or a construction worker are pretty simple. It's part of the uniform. You don't use the helmet? You don't get to work.

But let's talk about other things. Like skateboarding. Or bike riding. Or *riding a fucking horse*. Rock climbing. Motorcycling period. Or *riding a fucking horse*.

I do not give one fucking shit if it is "not cool". Wear the fucking helmet.

This past ten days, I was away at a camp in the bowels of hell in the midwest, literally sleeping in a tent and riding equines all day. Rather, I *should* have been riding equines all day... But on day 2 of this 10 day trip, the mule I was riding (not mine, but a reliable mule borrowed from a friend) tripped while trying to climb out of an 18 inch deep creek. She went down to both front knees, then began to scramble to get her feet back under herself, and somewhere in that scramble, around about 3 seconds in, and 30 feet of rodeo bullshit, I came off her back.

I hit the ground *hard*. My entire right side, starting with my bad shoulder, then rolling to my *head*, and then my hip and knee slammed into the earth. Granted, it was only a fall from roughly six feet in the air, but it was at speed with velocity, and I have mass. I am not kidding when I say I hit *hard*. I genuinely was not certain if I had died for a few seconds, and that was fucking scary. And then for another *minute*, I had to try and remember hot to breathe again.

See, I'm not sure if I have ever come right out and explained this here before, but I *used* to be a firefighter. I did the job for 12 years, and was set to do another 12 years before I retired. But while on duty one day, I was injured severely enough that I could no longer safely do the job anymore, and that was all she wrote. Severe nerve damage to my cervical spine, right shoulder, right elbow, and all the way down into my right wrist and hand. (Yes, I am right handed. I used to draw and sketch and paint and carve, and losing the dexterity I lost really. fucking. *sucked*.)

Hitting the ground in the ass end of literally nowhere, I landed on that shoulder *first*. I didn't break anything, but I feel pretty confident in saying that I at least partially dislocated it. I sprained or tore muscles in my hip, and I am honestly not sure what all I did to my knee.

The one part I'm not worried about, however, is my head. Because, yes, I hit my head just as hard as I hit my shoulder. (pretty sure I bounced off a tree or two while I was still in the saddle, too. at least, that's what the bruises and scrapes seem to indicate. I honestly do not remember.) See, I was wearing a helmet. A dorky, english style, ugly, stupid looking riding helmet, instead of my usual baseball cap with my "Queer and Angry" pin on it, or my crushed up cowboy hat with the rainbow ribbons as a hatband. It was honestly the first time I had ever worn a *helmet* while riding, even though I had bought one a couple years ago. They're stupid looking. It's not *cowboy*. I'd look like an idiot... or a coward.

But the person I was riding with wore theirs (although, unfairly, their helmet actually looked like a cowboy hat, so I was feeling all sorts of put out about that) but since they wore theirs, I sucked it up and decided that this wasn't MY mule, and, what the fuck. who would even see me out in the ass end of nowhere wearing a brain bucket anyway? I wore the damn helmet.

The helmet that I now have to replace, because it took that hard of a hit that I would not consider it safe to count on, really, anymore. The helmet that probably saved me from a massive concussion last week. Maybe worse.

All I know is that when that bitch of a mule came trotting back after a couple minutes, I was able to slowly climb back into the saddle and ride my way out of a place where there was literally *nowhere* emergency services could have landed or driven to retrieve me. It took another 30 minutes of riding to even GET to a place that would have been accessible to anyone NOT on horseback. I was able to climb on, hold on, and ride out safely, if in excruciating amounts of pain, because that helmet saved my life. If the mule hadn't returned, if I hadn't decided that fashion wasn't as important as safety for the first fucking time... at the very least, they would have had to send a literal horseback posse into the backwoods of a river valley in a national forest, with no access for even so much as a four wheeler, and *hope* that I hadn't hurt myself enough that I would bleed out in my head during the HOURS LONG ORDEAL retrieving me would have been.

You know, AFTER my friend would have had to leave me there and ride for help, since there was also literally NO phone coverage either.

So, here I am today, everything along the right side of my body is stiff as shit and feels like it's been through a meat grinder. I haven't had more than two consecutive hours of sleep (maximum of four a night) in a week because of pain, but I am here to tell you all:

Wear. The fucking. Helmet.

#stupid firefighter tricks #stupid cowboy tricks #good mule #wear the damn helmet #backwoods emergency #yeeeeehaw!

[lorcandidlucienwill]

growing up is realizing that the inner court are so fucked and that rhysand was the bad guy all along i definitely read these books at wayy too young of an age and all of the gross things went over my head but now that I'm an adult, things stick out to me from reading the books back then, especially the night court and inner circle dynamics fun fact that you probably already know but has serious consequences for certain members of the inner circle: non-consensual voyerism (i.e. whatever the hell they did in Hewn City when they visited) is a form of sexual abuse and a crime...

I am always calling Rhysand a sex offender so yes I did know! I think the thing that makes me the most upset about this series is that it clearly has dark romance themes yet the series is targeted at young impressionable teens and is often read by lonely older women as well. It's ok to enjoy things in fiction that you would normally hate in real life, but it's the fact that these relationships are being labeled as healthy in real life and the series targeted at the group whose brains are still developing and who are still learning about the world and often having identity crises that bothers me. I don't want people to think that this shit is actually ok in real life. I can see you were fooled by SJM's manipulative writing when you were younger. Completely understandable. One of my mutuals @achaotichuman was too before he learned more later on. I'm glad you're starting to understand how toxic they are. I hope more people are able to grow out of this themes and also understand that these relationships are toxic as fuck and learn to separate fiction from reality.

#i was stubborn as a mule so i was never fooled by rhysand despite reading it as a kid #but nessian was good through acowar so acosf fooled me for a bit #thank you tumblr for opening my eyes #i think myself immune to manipulative writing but even i fumbled for a sec #anon asks #anti rhysand #anti ic #anti inner circle #anti sjm

[silver-itallics]

Dude why was this scene so erotic and shit he's literally getting his balls crushed

#he makes it look good #leigh whannell #the mule 2014 #ramblings

[etwlemon]

Two mules for brother Tuco

#ergo a two mules for sister sara au #so i got carried away aproximately 9 hours ago and here we are #he tuco ramirez brother of brother ramirez is pretending to be a priest #also got saved by blondie #the good the bad and the ugly #tuco ramirez #blondie #blonco #tuco ramirez\blondie #the man whit no name\blondie #my art #this was sm fun to draw too ngtl

[dulcerba]

Guys, last night I had the weirdest dream that I was All for One and was getting married to Inko Midoriya, which was terrible because:

her mom (Nana Shimura) was being a monster mother-in-law to me (fair enough)

All Might was there in a really bad civilian disguise that somehow fooled everyone

and he couldn't fight me because he thought I was going to kill everyone there

the wedding photos went really badly because they couldn't fit me in the shot (being 7'4" is a real pain)

I think at some point Mitsuki Bakugou socked me in the face (also fair)

I kept banging my head onto doorways

the real All for One is freaking out in my head because he's stuck there

I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or die because while this is amazing and I'm sure AFO feels every bit of the pain I feel, so many people are being mean to me (again, fair, but ouch)

this man has, like, a thousand quirks, and I can't control any of them

I end up crying over a glass of sweet tea

So, anyone want me to write this??

#mha #bnha #boku no hero acedamia #all for one #midoriya izuku #my hero academia #inko midoriya #dad for one #dfo #my dreams are weird #I am pain #but so is all for one so it's worth it #all for one is midoriya hisashi #and he hates me #which is good #all might also hates me #which is bad #but that's valid #my brain is a mule and I'm the carrot #but the carrot is on fire and hates itself #which is convenient because many people hate the carrot as well #tldr my life is hell because because both all for one and the one for all users hate me #my chances of being killed by AFO are low but never zero #well I accidentally united AFO and OFA against a common enemy: me #not that either of them realise it #i have no explanation for what transpired in my mind #I just ate a lot of pasta and then astral projected into all for one's very unwilling body #at least izuku will have a dad this time #“help” is a lifestyle

[brotherconstant]

Psychohistory isn't determinism, Poly. It's not a single path, but it is a landscape that sometimes narrows into a dangerous mountain pass that can't be avoided. That's why we call it a crisis. Seldon knew that in his first crisis that success would require action. And the action we took at that time had a name. Salvor Hardin. [...] I believe in psychohistory. I believe that the Empire is going to fall. And if we're smart, we're the ones to bring it down. Humans will wallow like beasts for a very long time, unless we use what Seldon gave us and walk through that blasted mountain pass with that fucking asshole, Hober Mallow.

#foundationedit #well isn't this also an intricate ritual after all #though if someone did the literally piercing that was beki <3 good girl beki <3 #foundation #foundation apple tv #hober mallow #gaal dornick #the mule #she-is-center #cleon xvii #eto demerzel #salvor hardin #bel riose #glawen curr #beegifs #flashing #flashing gif

[skinreflectsthesun]

Date night 💕

#personal #selfie #ya girl was wined and dined #got a Moscow mule and it was deliciousssss #haven’t had one in so long but it was amazing #and dinner was so good too ugh #feat gorgeous sunsets

[br-uwu-cewayne]

Thinking about Scarecrow, gleeful and excited because he finally caught the bats and he's so, so close to finally finding out! Just what The Batman(tm)'s Greatest Fear is. Like after so long. Finally. He'll have the thing that makes Batman tick. The Fear behind the man. The thing so terrible it even strikes to the heart of Vengeance, The Night itself. And he pumps Batman full of fear toxin.

And it's.

And it's like.

Th

The fucking... a regular ass dentist or something.

#batman #Scarecrow #headcanon #look i know going to the dentist is important i KNOW #but the noises of all the spinning tools and not being able to see what theyre doing in your mouth and the scraping sounds and feelings #its so UNSETTLING #so i like to imagine Alfred having to draaagggggg Bruce to the dentist #and once kids are in the picture he starts out hoping #like he could use 'Master Bruce you want to set a good example for young Master ___ dont you?' #except it VERY quickly turns into #[deep sigh] 'Young Master ___ will you please set an example for your stubborn mule of a father and shoe him how its down?' #and it's the KIDS who wind up always guilt tripping and dragging bruce to the dentist

[maedelmae]

GBU AU but it’s Tuco and Blondie doing the bath scene in Two Mules for Sister Sara

#do you see the vision?? #two mules for sister Sara #clint eastwood #the good the bad and the ugly #fanfiction #Tuco and Blondie #blonco

[youngpettyqueen]

Headcanon based on nothing but I have because I think it’d be really funny is 4077 members absorbing Potter’s curses into their vocabulary and continuing to use them post-canon without even realizing it

#mash #Hawkeye cuts himself in the kitchen one day #mutters ‘ah mule fritters’ as he goes to deal with it #Daniel is BESIDE himself cause what the fuck was THAT #Charles uses horse hockey LIBERALLY #very fond of saying ‘that’s a load of horse hockey’ #Margaret uses bull cookies #she’ll also bust out ‘WHAT IN SAMUEL HILL-‘ if she’s angry enough #BJ uses medical ones at work like holy hemostat #Klinger uses great caesar salad and great caesar’s ghost interchangeably #Mulcahy has sign versions and anybody who interprets for him has a list of what they mean #his favourite is buffalo bagels #Radar tends to a good ‘PONY PUCKS’ #I’m having fun with this

[baronessofmischief]

Because I think the Razor Crest was built more for bulk efficiency as a gun ship than it was built for speed (though it’s nothing to sneer at there), I think Mando’s ability to maneuver it is a large part of why and how he’s capable of doing so well in dog fights and running from the cops. It can take a hit and keep on moving, and Mando knows his ship well enough that he can make those split second calls and pilot how he needs to.

The N-1 is fast and responsive on the controls, but it’s got nothing in bulk or armor as far as defense is concerned, and it also has nothing by way of storage or cargo capabilities. Its defense is simply being fast enough to evade getting shot. Mando the character was designed to take a hit and keep moving forward, purposefully armored in a way that allows him to endure a fight— The Crest was designed to reflect its owner, the N-1 not so much

With that analysis in mind, I think it’s much more likely that cowboy!Mando’s Crest in an old west au is actually a mule, not a horse. The N-1 might be the fastest stallion alive, but it’s nothing compared to a mule that’s say, half mammoth Jack and half Belgian mare. I think the biggest horse on record, Brooklyn Supreme, was a Belgian if that gives you an idea of size and silhouette

Big, strong, smart, all-terrain half-draft horse that can endure a rough trail and hard work hauling outlaws is much more in line with what purpose it would serve his character. A mule has the best qualities of both animals, and it’s still going to be intimidating to come up against. Mando’s an endurance hunter, and he needs a steed that reflects and enables that

(Visual aid for said donkey and horse, respectively. ID in alt text)

#the mandalorian #Star Wars au #din djarin #Additionally #Though he’d definitely have a rifle with a long range scope #I think the Amban rifle equivalent would be a shotgun #Mammoth jacks and Belgian mares do make the best mules #It’s funny that you have to cross a horse with a donkey to make it smarter #I think a blue roan draft horse would be an acceptable substitute but it still wouldn’t have the donkey’s smarts #However I can’t find a good blue roan mule pic and that coat pattern IS the best visual for a metal gunship kind of look

[meme-streets]

tuco as a character makes me so unwell cause blondie strands him seventy miles from town and says "if you save your breath i believe a man like you could manage it" and he does. he manages it. blondie doesn't last for what, fucking thirty? and the narrative intervenes to save him. but tuco doesn't get that luxury. so he just fucking survives. he gets the most unendurable shit thrown at him and his only other option is to die, and he refuses to die, so he endures it. because what else is he going to do. the only way out is through. he makes me want to eat a brick

#the good the bad and the ugly #dollars trilogy #this is why get behind the mule is a tuco song to me. btw

[kurtoutdoorman]

Packing in camp.

#hunting guide #hunting is good for the soul #horse riding #pack mules

[modernghostfare]

#death perception isnt on here either but i ran out of ROOM #call of duty #call of duty zombies #im voting quick revive. but i think mule kick staminup and tombstone soda look good. #they all taste kind of BAD whatever...... kicks rocks around bc qr tastes like fish.. #my favorite is elemental pop but i think itd be too sweet for me to actually enjoy past one sip #in my mind staminup is just coffee

[cringe-but-freee]

the mind control mexican standoff in second foundation lives rent free in my brain

#foundation #isaac asimov #from top to bottom its pritcher mule and channis btw #ITS SO SO SOOOO GOOD AND DELICIOUS

[commander-winterberry]

fuck it im gonna make an edgy cool angelic demon possessed rat

#i just uh need to delete my joke mule :pensive: #rip So No Maidens you were one good JP chest opener