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booasaur · 8 months

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Special Ops: Lioness - 1x07

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hajihiko · 11 months

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Trust and belief and trust and belief and trust and belief and-

#Hajime hinata #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Sdr2 #Super danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa #Kuzuhina #God I'm so emotions these past days what is happening #Anyway here's comfort! For all the recent hurt hehe sry #Also I got inspired by my OWN art #From being papanorth. Which was specifically like ... different responses to different traumas #And a recent post about being patient and kind vs being passionate and reaffirming #An art #ANYWAY I have feelings and emotions sometimes! It's good times #It's a bit late but im posting anyway while my mood is high #Oh I forgot to include my own thoughts #Fuyuhiko is suspicious and assumes every unexpected touch is hostile. Except... hes learning not to.#Hajime has moments where he goes away for a bit and cant really engage with people. But... hes finding ways to ground himself as himself.

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aboutmercy · 3 months

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thinking about how dongsik and joowon are the inverse of each other. thinking about joowon's journey realizing that blood is not thicker than water, ties can be severed from abusive family members (no matter how painful that is) and that among many things, his father's cruelty is what took away and destroyed dongsik's family who actually were a positive force in his life. many things about beyond evil appeal to me, but i mainly want to put a pin on the central themes of the show, particularly the failures of adults and parental figures, how that ripples through the lives of their successors in an especially vicious and self-destructive manner. this is a commonality found between multiple characters in the show (minjeong, joowon and jeongje) - but i want to put emphasis on joowon's struggle with this because his path to freedom was walked to completion, in comparison to minjeong whose life was cut short and jeongje who we part with carrying the painful knowledge that he may never achieve absolution, as his journey has only begun.

the show, technically starts at the beginning of joowon's journey/arc. unfamiliarity and discomfort force him to adapt and self-reflect, because the only way joowon was able to free himself was by breaking every rule his father set for him, going beyond his selfish confines and breaking down the walls he built. joowon is unable to get his physical body dirty, he is emotionally closed-off and is incapable of understanding why the people in manyang, particularly dongsik, would look out for anyone other than themselves. he is selfish, rigid, guilt-ridden and bashful; but it is exposure to dongsik's unwavering faith in and patience for others (for jeongje, for sangbae, for the people of manyang that have wronged him for years) that erode his harsh edges. dongsik, although not without flaws and contrary to what his outer appearance and manner of speech radiate, is kind and forgiving. that kindess, that forgiveness, as well as joowon's own guilt and shame is essential to getting him to a point where he is comfortable bloodying his hands, his clothes, and his face to protect dongsik (+ jihwa and her partner. to protect his friends).

dongsik recognizes joowon's pain too ("i know what it's like to be blamed for something you didn't do"). he sees his guilt, it's not inordinate to what joowon's done per se but a large portion of it brings so much shame to joowon ("please, stop doing unnecessary things out of guilt.") how could i have been so self-righteous when the man who bore me is responsible for so much misery? how do i rectify this, how do i absolve myself from the guilt? all dilemmas joowon grapples with, and dongsik, knowing pain and shame all too well does not grant joowon mercy when he is bowed down, forehead to cuffed hands while joowon's own are also cupping dongsik's, begging for it. mercy is letting joowon go, it's lifting the burden of responsibility off his shoulders - but instead, dongsik’s final request ensures that joowon truly atones ("i ask you to arrest me" - "no, how could i do that? i have no right") by informing him that the only way to live with guilt is to try and do right by the people who expect something from him. "joowon-ah", dongsik says as he softly picks up joowon's clenched fist, the look they share informs joowon that going through with the arrest is how he'll do dongsik right. it's what dongsik, his now friend, expects from him. that's what their final scene as partners is all about, in my opinion.

and something good does come out of dongsik's firm but tender confrontation. joowon gradually becomes a better person who seeks community and whose life, in return, is enriched by the friends that forming community gave him. dongsik and joowon's parting is bittersweet, but in letting joowon know that his actions matter to others and that he is wanted and expected by others - (jihwa, as part of the larger collective whose feelings towards joowon are influenced by dongsik's, texts him and checks in - that expectation to show up and empathy for when he does not respond is an invitation letting him know that there is a place for him if he chooses to occupy any) - dongsik sets him free.

#god im sorry i dont meta on here often but i physically needed to let all of this out.#user aboutmercy is obsessed with the thematic idea of granting and denying mercy? oh im SURE #also. joowon was such an ass in the beginning lmao i love him so much......#if dongsik was any less crazy and any less generally patient and kind as a character trait then it would've been so over for joowon #the contrasts i've noted between jwds are abusive home/loving family - kind/really mean - confident/insecure..#i'll perhaps find more on a rewatch. but it's so interesting how different they are yet so fundamentally broken #that they couldnt have resisted being drawn to each other.#ds to jw: 'the depressed and obsessive man in me sees the depressed and obsessive man in you'#beyond evil #lee dongsik #han joowon #jwds #also. sorry if this is bullshit i’m just……. filled with agonies. bc i love han joowon #jtbc beyond evil

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sunserenade · 6 months

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to love and be loved in return is something he never thought would happen to him of all people [WIP]

#he has trouble expressing his emotions but his eyes could never hide the depths of his love for halsin #and halsin knows #he loves freely and unconditionally and he’s patient and kind and everything astarion has ever dreamed of in a partner #OSKDHFJSUXHDJ I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS ABOUT THEM OKAY????#god i just love them so much #astarion #halsin #halstarion #ursa minor #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3

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peiskos-and-apricity · 28 days

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My Oath to You

Týr x (GN)Reader

Summary - Týr has returned to you after more than a century of absence. Completely overwhelmed by his sudden appearance you can't bring yourself to believe that your long lost lover has finally come home.

Word count - 1.7k

Masterlist

Years. Years you had spent apart. Without him your days bled together, your nights full of restless heartache. By the second decade you had believed him truly gone; his comforting care ripped from your hands. You had mourned him, had buried him in the permanent scar he left behind. He had become an old melancholy memory.

And yet now, impossibly, you stand before him. His soft features are as still as your own, his warm eyes staring into your very being. You would have thought him a ghost, a mere apparition had he not held the arrow that had missed the mark of his chest by a nails edge. An arrow that left your fingers out of rage at the being who claimed to be your long-lost love. At an imposter.

The only thing that had cut through your rage long enough to stop your assault was the shining ring on his hand. A vow you had given, a promise, a shining beacon of what was supposed to be forever. You held your bow strong, but you were simply too blinded by that small binding sheen of what you had lost so long ago.

Silence, a painful, heart-wrenching silence. One that, through a tightened throat and weary hope, you spoke through.

"Do not..." You start, your voice shaking at just the sight of someone who would dare tell you that he wasn't gone.

"Do not lie to me" your anger bleeds into every word, but the slight shake of your hands shows your fragile state. Your face contorts into an ugly mix of fury-filled pain.

"My word is truth. I vowed no man nor God, no cage nor world would keep me from you. I would sooner have my spirit broken than that promise" his voice is soft, so memorably soft, his eyes showing a care you missed oh so dearly. When you didn't move he approached again, this time slowly, carefully, as if each step were a promise of its own.

And yet still you held strong. Even as tears well in your eyes and your breathing becomes shallow you do not dare let down your guard. You didn't turn from him, not for a second. You simply felt your chest tighten further, your mind screaming to let go, to kill the being who would do something as cruel as speaking the promises he knew naught of.

"My guiding star, I cannot bear any more distance. I have spent countless cold nights aching for the warmth of you" his sweet words are a lull against the grating yell of your own mind. Despite how much you try to block out the sound it effortlessly digs into you, plucking at the dusted strings of your heart in a melody only he ever knew. You knew you should pull away, that you should question this impossible situation further, but you can't seem to find the will to move from him.

Once he is in an arm's reach he slowly pushes the bow down, moving its arrow away from him like there was never a threat to his life. You didn't protest the movement, you couldn't bear to. Instead you turned away, your eyes shutting as tears fell from them, unable to look at this torturous apparition any further. Your grip finally loosened on the string.

"Please, don't turn from me" he pleaded as the warmth of his hand met your own, the bow falling to the ground. You tense at the touch, still unable to believe such a thing. But it isn't long before the warmth of him is far too tempting. Your hand grips his tighter, half expecting nothing to be there but feeling a surge of emotion when there is.

"You're...You're a liar" you spit through grated teeth and choked back sobs.

"You aren't- he's..." You try to lash out, try to fight against this horrible lie. But gods forgive you, there is no part of you that can bear to pull away.

"You're not real" you whispered the painful words in a weakening tone as you felt his presence step closer, only inches from you now.

"I am, my love...I am" he whispers back, your hand squeezing tighter as you try to hold the pieces of yourself together. Ever so gently he lays his head against yours, a shaky breath leaving him.

For a moment there is silence. One so quiet you could practically hear your strength cracking into pieces. A silence so painful that you can only bear to be in it so long as you hear his thumping heart and shallow breath.

"Words fail me. I cannot begin to tell you the ways I have missed you" his words strike through your being in a flash of bittersweet. He was nothing if not a man of many beautiful words and it was a rare day when he didn't have a poet's tongue. But his voice breaks and his grip on you tightens ever so slightly. A pleading is found in how desperately he clings.

"You haven't a clue" you choke out, no longer able to hold your front of fury.

"I have mourned you. You were dead to the world. Dead to me" you speak through the threat of sobs in your throat. He pulls away ever so slightly, an absence you feel so deeply that you must restrain yourself from diving back into his hold. But he seems to do that for you when he takes both hands to either side of your face. He wipes the tears that fall like rivers from you and you notice then that his own rivers fall as well. But even through the clear pain of so many years apart, he still looks at you like he would steal the sun just to keep you warm. And you knew, deep down in that part of your soul you had spent so many years trying to carve out, that it would only take the slightest shiver from you for him to consider it.

"I might not know what it is to mourn your loss, but I have mourned the pain of the lifetime I couldn't share with you. I have spent each day yearning for nothing else and knowing you were just beyond my grasp" as he gazes into your eyes you can see the saddened smile that meets his lips. How sweet his smile always was. No matter through tears or tough times, his smile always found a way to calm you. Which is why it hurts so much when it slowly falls from his lips, his eyes shut as a labored breath leaves him.

"Please...speak to me. Say whatever you will but I simply cannot stand the silence" his voice is quiet, his words a pleading request. With a deep breath you soon hold the hands he held you with, fingers stroking scars you didn't recognize.

"I..." You lose the words you wished to say just as quickly as you had thought to say them. You had spent so long wishing for him back, pleading that he might still somehow come home. You would have hung every star in the sky if it meant you would be able to hold him for just one more night. But now that you're here, faced with the reality that you had begged for a love you never lost, you could really only find one thing to say.

"I love you" the words fall with practiced ease. There is not a being strong enough to ever rip away the effortlessness with which you found your care for him.

"I have loved you for as many flakes of snow have fallen in your absence. I have loved you for as many nights as I have wished on flickering stars for you back. I have loved you, I have loved you, I have-" you are hardly surprised when his lips suddenly meet your own, however you couldn't have predicted just how overwhelming the action would be. Lips moved in ways so intimately familiar to the both of you. Hands gripped tighter as if the dream might end should you let go, the salty taste of tears is ignored by the both of you. The two of you moved as if to make up for the more than a century of lost affection, slow and gentle and desperate, a silent cry to be so close you become one.

And, ever so slowly and with a hesitance the two of you rarely ever knew, your lips parted. His breath softly fell on your face, a closeness you had longed for so many nights to feel again. His head gently rested upon yours once more and you could only hope to never feel his absence ever again.

"Would you...promise me something?" Your voice is still so quiet, too afraid that any sudden noise would break this tentative peace.

"Anything" he answers back. You can't help the warmth that falls at just how quickly he answers.

"Promise me that I will never lose you again" your words are as soft as the first time you had ever asked such a thing of him. The short silence that follows hurts you a little, your worry mounting in it.

"We both know that is a vow I cannot make" his words are familiar, a horrible reality that he never allowed you to forget. It only ever made you hold on tighter to him.

"But," he continues. One of his hands reaches to your own before carefully pulling it to his lips and kissing the jeweled ring you would never dare to lose. One he had traveled many strange worlds to make for you.

"With every ounce of strength I still hold I will not stop fighting for every fleeting moment we have. That is what I can promise" his words, as bittersweet as they are, do comfort you. They are reminiscent of a vow made so many lifetimes ago. One that he would repeat to the end of time itself. You gently take his hand as well, your lips meeting the gold band that binds him to you.

"Then that is the promise I will hold us to"

#Týr is so kind and gentle and patient and I love him #gn reader #gow ragnarok #gowr #god of war x reader #god of war #gow tyr #gow tyr x reader #gow Týr #gow ragnarok x reader #gow ragnarok tyr #týr gow #Týr #gow #gender neutral reader #self insert

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welcometoteyvat · 14 days

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two hrs until arle animated trailer save me

#WHO IS THAT GIRL #ramblings!#if she turns out to be a normal human and actually arles sad over her death and its just oh no sob story backstory #then i will not know how to feel #tbh that's also kind of scara's backstory and his ends in anger and fire so maybe there's hope #i also NEED someone else other than ashi.kai to start making arle theories god. i dont want to keep watching and not liking her vids #also besides all of this i know everyone's like boohoo other x.iao ships are suffering but i just find it extremely funny that x/traveler i #becoming ''''more'''''' canon by the day. his birthday mail this year is so egregious #waiting patiently for my dream solvent bc apep is giving me Shit Drops for neuv #also the desc for dream solvents is like. dreams used to have material form. if u wake up clutching a flower after dreaming of heaven #the flower was made from the dream. and then x fucking sends us a dream solvent?#my guy. what are you trying to say.#anyways. highly entertaining i think it's fun. will not stop me from shipping other ships but this casual slowburn is fun

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witchlingsandwyverns · 2 months

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Do you have something planned for gwynriel weeks?

😭yes😭

(But this week was the first week in our new house and we're still finding leaks and patching holes (and todays mission of getting a working dryer))

SO I have plans/very rough drafts of sketches for my personal gwynriel projects but I'm racing to finish commissions first as soon as art time frees up ie tonight

#i have the best commissioners who are so very patient and kind and getting their files tonight so help me god #but to answer your question i have several wip open that i will do my best to get to a point of completion for #hopefully what will be semiregular posts through the 2 weeks #imma treat it like an art marathon

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crabussy · 1 year

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I want to take a bite out of someone's arm but I'm too shy

#it's ok to reblog this post and ignore the rant in the tags I don't mind at all /gen #hi guys #got another load of trauma from school #and I am not dealing with it well at all my legs have been shaking so badly for 4 hours now #had a panic attack so bad that my face went numb and the edges of my vision went black and my legs gave way #I hate my teacher she's horrible god I can't even go into it here there's so much #I'm tired of getting abused at school I've been to half a dozen schools and have not gotten traumatised at ONLY ONE OF THEM #I have no adults I can go to about this #whenever I try to talk with her and the head teacher about the situation and why I'm fucking terrified of her she acts so patient and kind #whenever I'm alone with her she will yell at me about everything I'm doing wrong and continue yelling even when I'm in tears #she will berate me and put me down and insult me directly #when she gives feedback she always puts effort into making it hurt #the language she uses for negative feedback is never what a teacher should say it's always personal and uses your weaknesses to hurt you #I get really bad intrusive thoughts about her hurting me physically because of how terrified I am of her #the worst part is she acts nice and sweet whenever she's not picking apart my weaknesses and being cruel about my disabilities #I felt so sick after that I haven't eaten since #vent tw #trauma tw #listen to my gibberish boy #ggod I hate this school

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donnyclaws · 6 months

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I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

#i do feel kind of worn down by it. i wish patreon and commissions didn't feel so taxing even with accommodations ive made for myself #maybe it'll feel better in the future when less is going on but rn it #places this barrier of management in front of art that makes it less relieving to do #cause there's always a part of my brain reminding me it needs to serve a purpose and needs to pay off in some way #which isn’t a new feeling for artists obviously. maybe doing it all since hs js also why it's tiring. and patreon changjng the way it does #working part time now too. idk if maybe id like to step back from it #it's abnormal that i worked taht hard and it did help me get out from my parents and stay out. but im also tired ect #idw let people down by not being able to keep up with a self imposed expectation or #be irresponsible and remove sources of income for myself. redbubble inprnt and patreon all suck in ways that bother me hugely #i only really enjoy itch.io at the minute #not to say anything bad abt patrons or commission clients you've all been excessively kind and patient and understanding always #i wish i could make them better i feel like there's no way how it is at the minute is of value compared to my output as an older teen #but yknow. self imposed worry. im just worn out and id like to just make things without the management and the fretting and the #i havent made a comic post for patreon in ages or this or this i havent made a speedpaint or a song or #yadda yadda lmao #sorry for the impromptu ramble #this isnt to say id never do commissions or a store or anything again or i want to not make money off art #god knows i will need to be grinding out comms once im well again but ex #i feel like im getting less and less able to manage it and then putting out less and less #and hoping ill somehow get very healthy and active again one day and make it worth the wait yknow.#it's not a feeling i want my art to carry in me.#part of me and the parent in my brain is saying it'd be selfish to give up income but the rest is like #that's cruel. i want to feel good and healthy

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anotherpapercut · 1 month

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absolute worst thing about working with small children is not being able to cuss. sometimes I need to say goddammit

#today one of the kids said something incredibly fucking mean to another kid #and it took SO much restraint not to say 'what the fuck did you just say to her?'#i really hope some of these kids like. learn to be nice before they become adults because oh my god #one of them wont stop being transphobic to my coworker so hes not allowed in her room anymore because he was being so awful #and hes fuckin 8 years old! 8 entire years old and being wildly bigoted! and i don't think its his parents #bc his sister is extremely fuckin respectful. literally corrects other kids who call me mr or miss and tells them i dont like that #so why is her brother wildly transphobic and mean as hell to other kids and shes like one of our best behaved #i dont get it #i want to be patient and understanding but when theyre bullying other kids like! im not gonna let them traumatize people #because they havent figured out kindness yet #idk #its frustrating sometimes

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honeybyte · 9 months

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happy birthday @oniisann !! have a strawberry or two

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #THIS IS 13 YEARS OF LOVING U DEARLY #UNBELIEVABLE #wheeze god i love you so much #youre such a sweet person #and patient w me when i ramble lmao #but i love you and i love talking to you and hearing abt your kids #both ocs and media kids #im so thankful to have you in my life its genuinely one of the brightest spots for me #i love you! i hope the next year is kind to you!

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redrobin-detective · 1 year

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Oh hey a patient proposed to me yesterday.

I was charge and I heard from his primary nurse that he was a big fan of tea. Later in the day, I got a moment to chat with him about types and flavors and it was quite fun. Later still, I was making my own second wind cuppa and made an extra just for him which I snuck in with his lunch. I’d been a bit rushed since I’d been called elsewhere but the primary nurse told me he took a sip and said “Goddamn this is good, I’m gonna marry that woman!”

I was in another room helping adjust a separate patient when he was wheeled by the room by the primary nurse. “That’s her! Ms Wonderful!” I heard him shout. I’m fairly recognizable with the big bow in my hair but me and the other nurse just burst into giggles.

#adventures in nursing #anyway sometimes my job is good #I don't often have the kind of time to sit and talk casually with patient or make them special items #i wish to god I did #its therapeutic for me and does so much to promote healing in the sick

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violenthunted · 9 months

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if anyone is struggling on dumblr rp right now i think i found the secret ingredients.

first, you gotta force yourself to block the people you dislike, the ones you follow out of obligation because they're "popular" / the friends of your friends who are not and don't want to be your friends / the ones who don't spark joy or have iffy vibes. your dash is your responsibility. it's like a garden & you have to take care of it. dumblr will not be your happy place if it's filled with people you dislike / don't care about / people who ignore you on the daily. believe me, you'll be so much happier with them out of the way, even if at first you feel like your corner is small.

second, you have to take the first step. go like people's posts. comment stupid shit. follow first. barge in their dms. who cares. pretend it's facebook, we're in 2010, and everyone is still publishing "i just ate an avocado" as it happens. dumblr isn't just about writing. regardless of how shitty the interface is, it still is a social medium. cause yeah sometimes life kicks your ass and you don't have time to write. and that's okay!! that's why we have plotting and pinterest and discord and spotify. but to do all that you have to establish contact, and sadly everyone's a scared potato who doesn't know how to do it and / or doesn't know how not to be awkward while doing it. so just try!! see how it goes. whoever's on the other side of the screen will either cry from happiness or reveal themselves to not b worthy of ur time. no matter the option, its a win on ur part.

and lil third, unofficial advice : internet friends aren't always real friends. idc that they told you "ILYYYYYY <3333" a thousand times. people say shit they don't mean and don't care how it might influence you. protect yourself. internet drama is fake and doesn't matter. if u feel like u can't take a step away to go touch some grass for a lil while because you're addicted to reloading the dash, you need to force yourself to do it until its easy as breathing. cause internet "friends" will drop you the second you are not needed anymore, and u need to b strong enough to endure that. u can't rely entirely on dumblr to provide for ur social happiness. its not sustainable and it's gonna fuck you up bc. well. relationships on the internet are not as solid as they seem, no matter what we believe. its already hard having irl friends you can see face to face.

if someone on the internet shows you who they are by not doing right by you : trust them. it's not irl. people arent saying shit without thinking. yes internet relationships can be as strong and fulfilling and incredible as irl relationships but they're also more prone to fakeness, fragility and other shortcomings. with dumblr, other people have the opportunity to type on their little keyboards. to wait. to erase. they're choosing to spend time with you, or choosing not to, in a way that is much more evident than irl. (cause the effort to reply to a discord message is tiny compared to the effort of having to meet somewhere, for instance. and internet friendships solely rely on that act of communication) they're choosing to prioritise you, or not. they don't have to face you whenever they do something shitty. whatever anguish & sadness they bring you, they're not worth it.

just look out for yourself out there, okay? be kind, be nice, be patient, and take a step away once in a while to remind yourself out of all the people on the internet, the most important is always gonna b you. cause you're the one who'll have to face your real life once the screen gets shut

#important.#idk if anyone needs this but ngl i needed it a few months ago #literally just putting it out there for future me in case the dumblr experience gets bad again #but for now im really happy w the people i plot & talk to #and i love my dash. everyone's so kind and patient and talented #also. i met my bff on dumblr so when i say internet friends are diff. i also know u can build extremely strong bonds #but my god u gotta be careful

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princess-josephina · 1 year

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Fruity Four Advent Calendar 1-12: Christmas lights

Thought I'd jump straight (HAHA) onto the first wagon of @unclewaynemunson 's Fruity Four Advent Calendar train. Hope it's ok this one's just Steddie, I couldn't fit in the girls without making it ridiculously long and chaotic.

UPD: now also on AO3.

"Steve? What the hell are you doing?"

Eddie's back from the grocery store with some food and finds Steve back on the roof, taking down the enormously long lights string they'd just spent 2 hours putting up (a little too close to potentially breaking their necks several times). Steve turns to look down at him and wobbles for a second, giving Eddie a mini heart attack before he catches his balance again.

"It's broken!" He shouts, sounding frustrated. "It's not lighting up. Guess it might have died, from like, lack of use? We hadn't used this one in years."

"Oh my god, Steve, are you serious?!" Eddie yells back at him. "Leave that and get back down here."

Eddie grabs the cable, sighs with relief when Steve's safely reached the bottom of the ladder, and then follows the cable's length until he reaches the end, lying on the garage floor by the power socket. He crouches next to it. Steve leans over his shoulder to see what he's doing.

"Did you check that the socket's working?" Eddie inquires, and Steve rolls his eyes.

"Ugh… Yes?" He gestures at a small lamp on the counter nearby. "Tried with a lamp. It worked, so the socket's fine." He crosses his arms on his chest, defensive. "I'm not an idiot, Eddie."

"Never said you were, Stevie," Eddie glances at him and replies in that strange, patient tone Steve's never sure what to do with. "Just making sure." He fiddles with the plug in his hand. "Probably just blown fuses. These things die all the time. You got tools here?"

"Like what?" Steve asks, and feels foolish when he understands, a moment later, what Eddie meant.

"I need something small. Like a tiny flathead? Tweezers would work too."

Miraculously, Steve actually produces a dusty toolbox from somewhere in the back of the garage and hands it over to Eddie, who quickly rummages through it and then works to open up the lights plug, sticking out his tongue in concentration as he always does. Steve doesn't ask questions, figuring he shouldn't distract Eddie, but Eddie motions for him to come closer anyway and starts talking.

"See these two tiny things?" He says, and Steve has to lean over to see, resting his hand on Eddie's shoulder for support. Eddie keeps explaining, simple stuff that sounds obvious, really, but no judgement or condescension in his tone. "Those are electrical fuses. They're like… safety measures, to protect the whole cable from overcurrent, you know, so your house doesn't burn down. And yeah," Eddie holds the tiny thing between the fingers and raises it closer to his face. "See how it's all brown inside? Yeah, this baby's dead, rest in peace." Eddie quickly extracts the other fuse, too, and shoves them both in his jeans pocket. "I'm gonna drive to the hardware store and get the replacements." He grins, holding his arm out to Steve from the floor, and Steve grabs it to pull him up to his feet.

"So that's gonna… fix the lights?"

"Well yeah, if it's just the fuses, if that doesn't work then the problem's somewhere in the cable itself, I'd need to borrow a voltage tester from Wayne and…" Eddie stops talking, because Steve is giving him a strange, open-mouthed, awestruck look. "What?"

Steve looks away, shakes his head and laughs.

"Nothing. That's just… awesome. That you know all that. I thought we'd have to buy new lights."

"Jesus, rich people." Eddie rolls his eyes and then narrows them at Steve, his expression somewhere between exasperated and amused. "Do you really just buy new shit every time the old one breaks?"

"Yes?" Steve shrugs and rubs his chin, at least having the decency to look sheepish. "I mean, unless it's big stuff like a fridge or a TV, then my father gets a handyman to have a look…"

"…Who spends 15 minutes intensely looking at its insides and then tells you some super complicated detail needs replacing and it will cost you 80 bucks, when ninety percent of the time it just needs a new power cable?" Eddie grins. "Wayne worked as a handyman for some time, I know the drill. You know, if the rich people of Hawkins were to willingly let the town's satanic freak into their homes, I might consider a career change. Easiest money in the world, apparently."

It's just a short drive to the hardware store and back, and 30 minutes later Eddie's replacing the fuses while Steve sits right by him on the garage floor and watches his hands work, fascinated. As if Eddie was casting some high level wizarding spell, not doing basic household repairs every kid of Eddie's income level learned when they were 10 years old.

"Okay, fingers crossed, Stevie. Here we go."

Eddie plugs the cable into the socket and they glance at each other briefly before jumping up at the same time and racing outside, Eddie slipping on some ice by the garage entrance and Steve catching him, and they both laugh, arms still around each other, as they look up to see Steve's house all brightly illuminated with multicolor lights in the winter dusk.

"You did it!" Steve shouts, shaking Eddie's shoulders and grinning at him, delighted and overjoyed in a way that makes Eddie's stupid heart melt with fondness. "You saved Christmas, Eddie!"

"Uh. I just fixed some stupid lights. No biggie," Eddie flushes, not knowing what to do with himself when Steve looks at him like that. He glances back up at the lights and twirls Steve's scarf between his fingers because he needs to keep his hands busy with something, so they don't do something stupid. Like grab Steve's cheeks, all bright rosy from the cold.

"That's just it", Steve's voice is quieter now, and he keeps looking at Eddie intently. "You always make everything better and act like it's no big deal."

What the hell is Eddie supposed to say to that? Before his brain can even comprehend the words, suddenly it's Steve's hands bracketing his own head, fingers warm against his freezing ears; shit, Eddie might never get to see the best Christmas he'd probably have had in his entire life, because he'll be dead of a heart attack. "You're fucking amazing, Eds, you gotta know that." And then Steve's staring at his lips, and hey, maybe Eddie doesn't need to die.

Feeling stupidly brave, Eddie tugs on Steve's scarf, and Steve moves easily, no resistance. Two clouds of breath mingle into one in the cold air between them. "Stevie. Sweetheart," he murmurs; Steve bites his lip and ducks his head at the endearment, god yes, please let him be right about this. Eddie leans in, heart thundering in his chest.

Steve's lips are cold, but the inside of his mouth is deliciously warm, tastes like cigarettes and mulled wine they'd shared earlier. Eddie shivers and swallows back an embarrassing moan, and thinks fuck, maybe Jesus doesn't actually hate the gays, because Steve is kissing him back, and if that's not an early Christmas miracle, Eddie doesn't know what is. And goddamn, that boy knows how to kiss. Eddie's blood feels like an electric current, and he's all weak in the knees and wobbly, all that stuff straight out of romance novels he never thought was real.

It's almost dark outside, but the Christmas lights are so bright they are both in plain view here, in Steve's front yard, and yet it seems like Steve doesn't even care, doesn't stop kissing him and doesn't hurry at all when he walks them backwards into the garage, until Eddie's back hits the wall; that makes Eddie jump in surprise, and they finally break apart.

Steve looks at him with the brightest smile Eddie's ever seen, all pure wonder and fondness, and Eddie's glad to have the wall for support. He's literally swooning, dammit.

"Just so you know…" Eddie giggles, knuckles brushing Steve's cheek, no longer cold to the touch. "You're fucking amazing too, Stevie. Just a different... area of expertise, so to speak."

#StrangerThingsFestiveFun #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #stranger things fic #steddie fic #disclaimer: i know absolutely nada of electrical work but thank god for youtube tutorials #this fed so well into my competence kink and obsession with the whole 'you know how to hotwire a car?' scene #but also Eddie being patient and kind with Steve not knowing shit #damn POV is all over the place but can't be bothered to fix it #misha-bawlins fanfic

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bangcakes · 6 months

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#LMAO.... i was not meant for this loveydovey shid. i am sooooooo lovesick its not even funny #like can someone save me. its gotten so bad #i talked to my mom about it on n off for like 3 hours NDNDJDJJDJD #im just !!!!!!! ah.... i have to be patient. thats just what i have to be #bc rushing will only make things worse #and i cant be heartbroken during the semester. like thatd suck #but then.. i also dont knownif i wanna be in a relationship during school either???????#like can i handle it or will i go so googoo eyes that i flunk out aJdkdkdkdkdkd #and IN MY LAST TERM?????#like hhhh im so scared i'll never see him again when schools over. which... ok unlikely bc we have the same friends #but even if we DO see each other it wont be as often as now !!!!!#hhhhh i wanna see him everyday 😭😭😭😭😭😭#HHHHHHHHHHHH GOD #feel like im gonna end up confessing to him the last day of school NDJDJJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJD #which !!!! again bc we have the same friends....... could be sooo detrimental!!!!!!!!!!!!#but god i cant just be just friends alright. like hhhh !!!!!@@@ i like him so much 😭😭😭😭#his eyes are so kind n like the way he looks at me i just !!!!!!!!!@@@ baboom baboom baBOOM.. !!!! ya know !!!!!!!!@#n e way....... im not seeing him tomorrow (heartbreak hotel) so now i gotta wait A DAY????? incomprehensible #personal

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ardate · 6 months

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#just me rambling #badvibe #god. i feel so let down by my friends these days #it's been a billion things piling up for many many weeks #and right now i just got told by a friend with whom I was supposed to go to a convention that she forgot I was coming #so she won't be able to pick me up cuz she's going with her mom instead #we made plans for visiting that city in the morning before going to the convention and all.#i put it down in my agenda and moved plans around to accomodate for it. but she straight up...#entirely forgot i was supposed to be there #she forgot about me #and i'm SO. FUCKING DONE. ABOUT BEING AN AFTERTHOUGHT ALL THE FUCKING TIME #this is just too fucking much. between this and my childhood friend who acts distant w me ever since there was a dumbass quiproquo #where i have to fucking work hard everytime at creating a good atmosphere whenever we see each other cuz she wont put in that effort #and another friend who's been utterly ignoring me on purpose for some fucking goddamn reason i don't know why or what i did #ignoring me or being rude other times #all of those are just examples but its been so many things #i have been. SO fucking patient with everyone. ive helped them so many times too- sometimes to my own loss #i've been so kind and understanding despite my personal struggles - keeping my feelings of anger and injustice at bay #and i get what in response? i'm fucking. forgotten i guess. pushed aside. treated like a nuisance #i feel like its at the point where the closer they are to me the less effort they put in. cuz i'm a given now. they can treat me like shit #they treat strangers better than their close friend cuz they know i'll just take it. or smth. i'm a punching ball for bad moods #i'm done being the understanding one. what about that. what if others were the ones having to come to me and be kind instead #what if i was the one people coddled and offered sympathy to for once in my fucking life #idk. just fucking explode #i feel so disrespected. and uncared for #and so deeply unloved #i'm done. i'm done #the convention thing was just the fucking hammer to break my back after everything #i'm so deeply heartbroken #do i matter to the people i care about

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