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whore-ibly-hot · 1 year

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Outsider in.

Yandere!Cultist x Reader

Minors DNI

Warnings: Gender neutral reader, dark content, suggestive content, manipulation, mentions of violence, murder, general manhandling of reader, religious references, cult behavior.

(AN: Two posts in one night? Look at me go. I re-watched Children of the Corn recently, so that was the inspiration and vibe for this. Some obvious similarities will be seen.)

🔔🌱🔔🌱🔔🌱🔔🌱🔔🌱🔔🌱🔔🌱🔔🌱

It wasn't your fault when you crashed. You couldn't have known that the unmapped zone you were driving through had been scrubbed from the maps and records for a reason. You couldn't have known that the gas station attendant would cut your brakes while you were inside getting snacks, and you certainly couldn't have known what awaited you just beyond that gas station parking lot.

The smell of smoke and burning rubber fills your nostrils, causing your lungs to burn as they rise and fall rapidly. Your head pounds, vision blurry. Sat in the front seat of the now busted up car, you can see through the front of the car where a windshield once was, now shattered across the dashboard and floor. You see what looks like some sort of well, lodged up against the front of your car, the metal around it bending to fit around the rounded edge of the construction. You had left the gas station and began north down the mostly empty farm road, when a turn came up. You had attempted to slow the car to make the turn, but were unable. The cars steering wheel froze up, and the brakes jammed. You were unable to stop the vehicle and let out a cry as it continued forward, barreling through the rows of corn that had lined the road. The crops had actually been quite scenic just a few minutes ago, but now as they rushed past in a blur of yellows and greens, they were nothing but overstimulating. Suddenly, you had jolted forward as the car hit the well, glass shattering around you. As you now lay there, feeling your consciousness slip away with every labored breath. As your vision blurs, and finally fades to black, you see several dark, blurry forms emerge from the crops and surround the car. Then, all is quiet.

Yan!Cultist had been in the chapel, observing with watchful eyes as the younger followers listened to the leaders sermon. As the first convert, Yan!Culist, born under the name of Joseph, had been appointed as the leader's right hand, despite his not being the oldest in the commune. Joseph stood to the side of the worn wooden pulpit, hearing, yet not listening to Gabriel's sermon. On top of the pulpit had laid a worn leather journal, upon which the sigil of "The Children of His Divine Judgement " was carved. The book, of which only Gabriel and Joseph had copies, detailed how the incident, or as the group would refer to it, 'the salvation', came to fruition.

Gabriel had been the first to speak to him, their lord. He spoke only through Gabriel, cementing his word as law. It was Joseph, who had witnessed first-hand the divine power of the lord, who converted first. Knowing how stubborn and angry Joseph had been, his sudden allegiance to Gabriel had shocked the towns youths, and soon they came to listen, and even revere the sermons and orders Gabriel gave. It was then, several months after Josephs conversion, that another demonstration of the lords power took place, this time in front of all the converts. A drought had taken place, killing the crops and cutting the town off from both food and financial security. While the adults and elders of the town starved, their children miraculously stayed healthy. They thought of this as a miracle of the christian god, though the children knew this was rather a curse from their deity, one met to rid the county of non-believers. A small area behind the old chapel had been set aside and blessed by Gabriel. It was here a well was dug, and a garden planted. The garden bloomed even in drought, when all other crops had shriveled and died. Soon, as the non-believers began to die off, Joseph grew impatient. He had asked Gabriel if their lord would permit 'speeding up' the cleansing. While Gabriel had scolded him for daring to suggest something to him and their all-knowing deity, he returned to his room for a period of just a few hours, before returning and allowing the slaughter. All followers above the age of 13 years grabbed the available weapons, farming tools, and even sticks, and carried out the slaughter of any remaining adults and elders that the drought had not yet killed off. When the bloodbath ended, only children and youths from the ages of 2-18 remained. Several years have passed since then, and many of the once young converts have grown. As Joseph recalled all of this, one of the followers bursts through the door.

The boys explanation is fast-paced and loud, though both Joseph and Gabriel manage to understand. An outsider has been caught, after one of the children sabotaged their car on the outskirts of town, while out on a fuel run for the community. "They crashed into the well, we think they may still be alive. What would you have us do?" The boy asks. Gabriel furrows his brows. "Who damaged the vehicle?" He asks. His voice is cold, and Joseph recognizes the tone, for he knows it well. "Sermon is over, return to your homes, and do not leave until the outsider has been dealt with!" Joseph yells, causing the children to spill out from the pews and into the aisle of the church, rushing out the door.

"Mary cut the vehicles brakes, y-you had instructed we needed more creative ways to lure in outsiders..." The boy explains, now feeling meek under the shared judgmental gaze of the two leaders in front of him. The boy feels himself shrink before them. "I had ordered for more lures, this is true, but Mary has inadvertently caused the outsider to crash into the well. The first well, and the very one that our lord blessed in the first drought, in order to give us sustaining water. Now tell me, is this monument damaged?" The boy gulps, and Joseph can't help but suppress a smirk, the feeling of power, though he is not the one wielding it, is invigorating. "No, no that I am aware of. Mary, she, she had no control over where the car went, she just wanted to help. Please-" Gabriel raises a hand, silencing the boy. "Mary must face punishment for this mistake. Do not mistake that I understand her good intentions. In the end, she did bring us an outsider, and for this her punishment shall be minimal." The boy sighs, relieved for his friend. Gabriel smiles and nods, and Joshua can't help but feel an annoyance grow in his stomach at the 'holier-than-thou' attitude of the pious young man.

Joshua had initially been willing to listen and follow Gabriel's plans, as the boy had promised the lord would bless them with power and glory, placing them first in his holy order. However, though the lord had both protected them and shown them his fury, it often did not feel like enough. Watching the praise Gabriel received for being the lord's messengers angered him, and he had no doubts that Gabriel knew this. While Gabriel gave out his fair share of cruel orders and punishment, as his right hand man it was Joshua's task to carry them out. While Joshua had no problem with this, he knew it was only a duty given to him to further darken his reputation in the commune, and shed a more angelic light on Gabriel. While Gabriel was respected and feared, he was still a religious figure, and one that the people rallied behind. Joshua was just feared, both before the creation of the cult and after. He had been a bit of a bully before, but it became much worse once he had an outlet under the guise of Gabriel's orders. He also knew this duty was given to him and Gabriel saw himself as too good for the manual labor required to carry out the punishment. While Joshua ran all across the commune, delivering messages and orders, building houses with the others and working in the fields, Gabriel sat in his priestly chambers, 'conversing' with the lord, according to himself. Gabriel turns to him then, and he snaps out of it. "Joshua, go and collect the outsider. I trust it won't be too hard for you to handle, considering they are unconscious." Gabriel smirks. Joshua holds in a remark, and only nods, trudging out of the church.

Upon approaching the well, he sees the dilapidated car crumpled on the southern side of the well, the fire having been dealt with by the first converts to arrive on the scene. Joshua orders for a group of the strongest boys to begin deconstructing and salvaging any fuel from the car. No outside influence needs to enter the commune, Joshua and Gabriel know this well. A group of children are huddled around a figure. Joshua's anger flares, and he pushes into the crowd. "Move! Have I not instructed you to remain in your homes until this has been dealt with?" He shouts, and the group scatters. He grunts. He knows that only the young children in the church had heard his instruction, but he needs an outlet for the frustration caused by Gabriel. As he approaches your figure, he feels as though a force is halting him. His breath catches in his throat. A young outsider lays before him, certainly no older than 19. Though dirt and bruises litter your arms and shoulders, it does not distract Joshua from the sight of such an attractive person before him. You're dressed in the garb of outsiders, which reminds him greatly of the time before the lord came. Since the massacre of non-believers, all outside influence was placed in a locked area in Gabriel's home, and is occasionally brought out for sermons. Clothes were changed to ones that could be easily crafted, worn and worked in for years, then handed down and eventually reused for other purposes. According to your clothes, style in the outside world has changed much since then.

Joshua kneels on the earth beside you, his eyes focused intently on your calm face. He reaches out a hand, brushing your face with the back of his palm. He had intended to use his touch to jolt you awake, but found himself enraptured. Your soft skin contrasts heavily with the calloused rough skin of his hands, worn from hard labor around the commune. As his breathing becomes heavy and his face flushes, your eyes crinkle. You let out a soft groan, and he recoils his hand quickly, as if suddenly aware of the trance he was in. He shakes his head, his features returning to the bitter look he was so well known for. You flinch once more, before your eyes flutter open. You gasp slightly, as light floods your eyes. You attempt to sit up, but let out a hiss of pain at the feeling of your sore muscles. You lean forward as much as you can, and try to look around. You're laid on the ground, near your car. Memories of the crash flood back to you, and you jolt, ignoring your pain in order to go find help. Just as you do, a sudden sharp pressure lands on your wrist. You look over, and see a much taller boy in odd, old-fashioned garb gripping onto your wrist like a vice. While you should be glad to ask someone to help you, something about the boy is wrong. His eyes are filled with an unplaceable emotion, one that looks not unlike the gaze of a predator on the nature channel, about to pounce on small prey. This look only increases your fear, adrenaline from the crash still coursing through you. Your heart beats wildly, and your breathing rapidly increases as you stare at the wild boy. "W-who are you, where am I?" You ask, attempting to squirm away from him. His ignores this, not releasing you from his grip. He stares at you intently for a moment more, before opening his mouth to speak. Before he can, another male voice rings out.

"Joshua, display to me the outsider." The boy glares, before his hand moves to grab your free wrist and yank you up, causing you to whine once more at your sore body. Joshua, as you assume his name must be, holds your wrists behind your back. He keeps uncomfortably close, even for a captor. His chest presses against your back, and you feel hot breath on your neck, making you shiver. Before you, a shorter boy steps forward, a book in one hand. He is dressed in a similar old-fashioned manner to Joshua, though his garb is darker, and a little cleaner. It seems as though this boy may be of a higher standing than the boy restraining you. "Hello, outsider." The young boy before you coos, his eyes calm, yet his tone makes you cautious. He's a few years younger than both you and Joshua, but his attire and outfit suggests he's more than meets the eye. "You've certainly made an entrance, what brings you to our home?" He asks. You immediately shake your head and launch into an explanation, anxiety evident in your ramblings. "I didn't mean to intrude, or trespass on your land, I-" You catch your breath. "My car crashed, something went wrong with the brakes. I didn't mean to crash into your well, really. Maybe we can just call the police, I don't want any trouble. I'll pay for damages-" The boy puts a hand up, and squints his eyes at you, as if shushing you. You fall silent, a little offended at being hushed like a whiny child.

"Do not worry, we have taken no offence to your intrusion." He says. "My name is Gabriel, and you have stumbled onto our holy land." He explains. You tilt your head, you weren't aware anyone lived out here, and there certainly wasn't anything about a town on the map. "I didn't know anyone lived out here..." You say. Gabriel chuckles, a cold laugh. "We do our best to keep a low profile. Contact with the outside world is heavily limited." As he explains further, you look around and notice all of the buildings are outdated farm houses, barns, and a chapel. Their attire suggests they must be a very religious sect that lives out here. "I understand, sorry to have intruded. Let me just call a ride-" You try to reach into your back pocket, but your arms are still being held by Joshua. You see Gabriel grin as he shakes his head. "I'm sorry to repeat myself, outsider, but as I said we keep contact with the outside world limited. We've had to confiscate that phone of yours." That feeling of dread creeps back into you. "But, I really need to call someone, it won't take but a minute." You beg. Gabriel sighs. "Outsider, our lord commands that we cleanse those who are impure, and destroy what he approves not of. Our town was once full of the non-believers, but now, look around." He motions to the buildings, and you notice there are very few people. No cars exist in the town you can see down the way, and all the inhabitants seem rather young. "W-what do you mean 'cleanse the impure'?" You ask, feeling your knees weaken. "Most are too dirtied with the ways of the world, and obey gods other than our lord. They would corrupt and defile land and society with their impure ways. The elders, men and women were too far gone, to set in their ways. My lord sent me a message, and told me they would not see the light." He rants. He suddenly stops, and glances at you, a small gleam in his eyes. "What... what did you do to them?" You ask softly, fearing you know the answer. "They had to be killed." You let out a choked breath, your knees buckling below you. What had been a simple road trip had turned into a life-or-death situation. As you kneel, sobbing and shaking on the floor, Gabriel pouts, looking at you as if you were a scared child, his gaze patronizing.

"Joshua." Gabriel motions down at you, and Joshua grips your chin, softening his grip slightly when you inhale sharply. He feels tear drops falling from your cheeks and landing on the backs of his palms, rolling down his arm and staining his shirt. He stares at the wet patch for a moment, considering not washing that sleeve again. Gabriel leans in and coos. "Fear not, outsider. You are still young, and it is not yet too late for you. I wish to offer you mercy, as our lord granted us." You blink, a few more tears leaking out of your eyes as you wait for him to continue. "Join us, and offer yourself to our lord and our ways-" He pauses and looks towards the town with a thoughtful gaze. He then turns back to you and continues. "-or join the impure. The choice is yours." He leans back, rearing to stand over your kneeling form. Joshua's grip on your wrist tightens, not in annoyance, but rather excitement, and surprise. Gabriel rarely lets any outsider join, though he supposes he was just a little younger than you when he converted.

Scared, hungry, and tired, you figure you have no choice. Maybe, once you've regained your strength and healed, you could escape. For now, you know you must remain here. "O-okay, I'll join you. Just, please don't hurt me." You whimper. Gabriel smiles, and clasps his hands together. "Wonderful! You know, just a couple of days ago we had to inflict a rather severe punishment on one of our own, so we actually have a room available. I'm sure Joshua will help set you up." Gabriel and Joshua share a few words before Gabriel departs back to the chapel. Joshua roughly pulls you up, parading you to a nearby farmhouse. He heads upstairs, entering a quaint bedroom with a bed, floral wallpaper, and a wash-basin.

He closes the door behind him quickly, before rifling through the drawer of the wash-basin. From inside, he pulls out an outfit of similar simplicity to his own. The well folded fabric hits you lightly in the chest as he tosses it at you. "Clothes from the impure world are not allowed, Gabriel will want you to change into something more appropriate." He says. You only nod, and begin to unfold the fabric. As you examine the outfit, you notice Joshua is leaning against the wash-basin, not leaving. "Um... aren't you going to leave. You said I need to change." You say. "I did, and I'm not leaving so you can try to make a run for it." He snaps. "Can you please turn around then, this isn't very appropriate." He rolls his eyes. "Turn my back to an outsider and leave me vulnerable to an attack? Unlikely. Stop whining, and change!" He slams his hand onto the wash-basin, making you squeak in fear. He stops when he sees your fear, and huffs. He doesn't enjoy that seeing you afraid isn't pleasurable like it is when he torments the other followers. When he glances back up, he feels his face grow warm, face colored a deeper shade of red than it was the day he spilt the blood of the townsfolk. You've taken your shirt off, and are now attempting to undo the buttons on your pants, a task that proves difficult due to your trembling hands. Once you finally remove them, you step out, now exposed save for your undergarments. The stress of the day on top of the embarrassment of being bared before this boy sends you over the edge, and you refrain from redressing in the new clothes. Instead, you begin to sob once more, and cover yourself with your arms. Joshua's eyes widen. While he likes the sight of your exposed form, he doesn't enjoy the trembling person before him. Unfortunately, Joshua is not equipped to handle comforting someone, and approaches you in the only way he can think of that is mildly comforting.

"God, you outsiders can't do anything for yourselves, can you?" He pushes you back onto the nearby bed, forcing you to sit down. He grabs the lower garment of clothing, and begins to slide it up over your ankles, and onto your waist. His breathing grows unstable as he moves the fabric upwards, the thin cloth the only thing between him and your plush thighs. Before now, all marriages and courtships had been approved through Gabriel, and Joshua himself had had no time for impure thoughts and boyish crushes, much less a courtship. But now, as your weak, frightened self sits before him, almost entirely naked and alone, he feels a stirring in his pants, as a warmth builds. Much more, he feels a stirring in his heart. He grimaces, trying to shake off those thoughts as he finishes buttoning up the lower garment. He slips your arms into the sleeves of a shirt, and begins buttoning the front up. Just a few buttons from the top, he pauses, just under your chest. He stares, and you watch in fear, unsure what he's thinking as he stares intently at your chest. He doesn't stop himself as he slips a hand just into the fabric for a moment, allowing him to brush a hand against the left most part of your chest. His cold touch makes you gasp, and he removes his hand, finishing up with the buttons. "Why did you do that?" You ask. "I had to fix a crease. Gabriel prefers a neat follower." He coughs, standing back up. "Come, we need to get you to sermon. Gabriel will want you in the front row." He practically pushes you out of the door, and as you stumble, you don't notice he takes an extra minute in the room, slipping your previously discarded shirt into his overall pocket.

#tw.corruption #gender neutral reader #reader insert #tw.dark content #tw.yandere #x reader #yancore #yandere #yandere boy #yandere content #yandere fanfiction #yandere oc #tw.religion #yandere x reader #yandere fic #oc joshua

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whatsnewalycat · 9 months

Text

Passenger / Chapter 5

Pairing: Trucker!Din Djarin AU x OFC Charlie Wanderlust

Chapter Five: Wyoming (Part Two)

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Chapter Summary: Charlie and Din test the waters.

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 7.8k+

Content / Warnings: yearning, horny thoughts, anger problems, crying, food mention, handcuffs, hi yes the only one bed trope is alive and well, unlike the Titanic (it's relevant I promise), small town, lying, fictional town, sorry to Wyoming-ites if I got WY all wrong, (Bernie Sanders voice) I am once again talking about The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Notes: Howdy, howdy. We are balls deep in the yearning with this one, folks. Thank you @frannyzooey for proofreading and being the literal best, I appreciate you endlessly.

Just like Paul promised, The Jackalope Motel is conveniently located straight across the county road from Giddyup Auto.

The single-story, L-shaped motel, whose faded roadside sign advertises low weekly rates and color TV, shares a gravel parking lot with a two-pump gas station. Its brick exterior is painted a pallid shade of yellow, all ten room doors varnished with this glossy teal finish.

Nestled into the elbow of the building sits a white screen door with the words MOTEL OFFICE printed on the front.

Din departs from your side to hold the door open, an action you assure yourself is rooted less in chivalry than it is him not wanting to turn his back to you. A loud creak sounds from the battered door and announces your arrival. The dog charges through the threshold, pulling his leash taut in your grip as you step inside the cramped, wood-paneled office.

An elderly woman perks up on her barstool behind the front desk. She stubs out her lit cigarette in a nearby ashtray and calls in a husky voice, “Howdy, howdy.”

“Hi there,” you smile, glancing back at Din to determine who will take the lead in this interaction.

He does, taking three wide strides past you to the counter. As he moves through the room, a thick sea of smoke parts for him, churning and dancing in his wake.

“We need a room. Two nights for now.”

The gray-haired woman pulls the glasses hanging on a chain around her neck onto the bridge of her nose, “Let me see here…”

At your feet, the dog sniffs his surroundings. He follows an invisible trail to a tattered plaid couch. You follow, listening to Din and the motel manager discuss lodging arrangements.

“I got a couple two three rooms open, I can stick you in one away from the rabble rousers. Somethin’ more private,” she winks at him.

His back straightens and he holds up a hand, “Do you have anything with two beds?”

The mischievous look on her face flattens and she raises her eyebrows, looking down at her books with a frown, “‘Fraid I don’t.”

Din looks over at you, his face blank, eyes inscrutable behind his aviators, then turns back to the woman and gives her a nod, “Anything you have is fine, then.”

He takes out his wallet as she starts getting paperwork together. You gravitate towards a wall of faded, dusty brochures that advertise Western Wyoming’s finest tourist traps, including, but not limited to: a cowboy-themed amusement park, guided tours of mountain ranges and caves, horseback riding expeditions, and hot springs.

“What brings y’all to town?”

When you turn to Din, he gives you a mild, one-shouldered shrug, so you tell her, “His rig broke down about an hour from here. Paul—do you know Paul?”

She chuckles and nods, “I’ve known Paul since he was in diapers. Used to watch him for his momma while she was at work.”

“No kidding?” you approach the tall front desk, propping your elbows up on the counter, “He’s fixing the truck. Really nice guy, referred us to this place ‘cuz we don’t know how long it’ll take.”

“Can I get your ID, hun?” she asks Din, who complies without comment, then she glances up at you while jotting down your companion’s information, “He’ll get y’all fixed up good. We got a few things to do ‘round here if you get tireda bein’ holed up here. A few parks, some trails. There’s a fella that has a ranch just on the outskirts of town, he does horseback riding, if that squeezes your lemon. Downtown, we got some bars, coupla places to eat ‘n’ all that,” she hands the ID back to Din, sighing, “Nothin’ fancy, but better ‘n nothin’ at all.”

“We don’t need fancy,” you grin at Din, who does not return the sentiment, then ask the motel manager, “What’s your name?”

“Annie.”

“I love that name,” you smile, “Annie Get Your Gun.”

She smiles, too, toothy and wide, revealing her too-perfect teeth–obviously dentures–and says, “You know, I was actually named after her. Annie Oakley.”

“That’s awesome. A fantastic namesake, she was a true badass.”

“She sure was,” Annie nods and takes the glasses off her face, letting them drop around her neck from the glasses chain, “Well, the room comes to $59 per night, plus taxes and fees, ends up runnin’ closerta $75. Do you wanna settle the tab for two nights now, or see if you needta tack on more and take care of it at checkout?”

You look over at Din, who answers, “We can settle at checkout.”

“Fine with me,” she swivels on her little stool and stands to grab a key off the wall behind her, “We got an ice maker and vending machine outside the door here, don’t be too loud, and pick up after yer dog. Any questions?”

She slides a key across the counter, whose big turquoise keychain reads 10 in metallic gold, and glances between you and Din. He grabs it, and you respond, “No ma’am.”

“Alright, well, let me know if y’all need anything.”

“Will do, thank you, Annie,” you give her a polite wave before following Din outside, pulling the dog along behind you.

The room smells of bleach and water damage.

Much like the office, its walls are all wood-paneled with a dull oak finish. A framed painting of a bunny with deer antlers hangs above the queen sized bed. As you try to untangle the leash from your guitar and backpack, you nod at the painting and chuckle, “A jackalope.”

Din grunts in response. He tosses his backpack on the bed, then turns to the dog, crouching down to unclip his leash from the collar. The dog reacts like he’s hit with a cattle-prod and goes zooming around the motel room in a lop-sided oval.

You start giggling as he tears over the bed, to the bathroom door where he makes a U-turn and speeds past the dresser, then your feet, then Din’s, then does it again, around and around until he runs out of steam. He comes to rest on the fireproof, floral bedspread, circa 1984, and leans back on his haunches, panting and out of breath, tongue hanging out of his jowls, glancing between you and his person.

“Feel better?” Din asks him, and he sneezes.

You go to the window, pulling the top pane down to let crisp October air spill into the room, carrying with it the earthy scent of organic decay. When you close your eyes and inhale, you see piles of raked-up maple leaves, those big mosaics of orange and red and yellow and brown, hiding rot underneath. It reminds you of home.

You turn to your captor, who seems to be inspecting the bathroom. He flicks the bathroom light on and peeks inside while you release an exaggerated sigh, “So, Din.”

He brings his attention to you and leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms, raising his eyebrows in question.

“That is your name, right?”

“It is.”

A smile spreads across your face.

The fact that you’re able to put a name to this man, brings you a surprising amount of joy. He seems less like a force now, and more like a person. Which, you suppose, is probably why he didn’t formally introduce himself before shoving your face into a trailer door and abducting you.

“Great, well—Din, it’s nice to actually meet you,” you cross the room and extend your hand to him. All he does for a moment is stare at it, until you tease, “Aw, come on. I don’t bite.”

“Maybe I do.”

Your lips part and you blink at him. When the corner of his mouth turns up in a smirk, your face transforms into a heater. This whole situation would be a lot easier if he wasn’t so handsome.

RULE #3: Keep your wits about you.

“Funny guy,” you snort, rolling your eyes in feigned annoyance, but continue to hold your hand out to him.

He takes it and gives it a firm shake. His palm is warm and calloused and his grip seems to swallow yours. Even though he’s wearing those stupid sunglasses, you can tell when his eyes meet yours because a jolt shoots through the middle of you. Your throat tightens and your cheeks get even hotter.

Before he can tell how flustered you are, you take your hand back and retreat to the bed, plopping down to scratch the dog as you ask, “What now? Do you wanna go explore this podunk town?”

“No. We’re staying here. The less we’re seen, the better.”

You groan and throw yourself back onto the bed. There’s a yellow-tinged water stain on the ceiling that almost looks like a face if you squint and tilt your head a little. It brings to mind this short story of a woman slowly losing her sanity while on “rest cure” to treat her depression. She’s forced to do absolutely nothing, and starts to see figures in the yellow wallpaper of her bedroom.

Granted, your situation is much different than the one Charlotte Perkins Gilman penned, but you still feel a sense of solidarity with her protagonist’s captivity. You feel antsy. Cooped up. The thick layer of grime on your skin becomes hard to ignore, and you remember it’s been a week since you last bathed.

“Can I at least shower?”

When he hesitates to respond, you can’t stop yourself from sitting up and scowling at him, “Seriously?”

“There’s a window in the bathroom.”

You stare at him blankly, “So, what, you think I’m going to—”

“Yes.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you get to your feet and stomp past him into the very retro, very pink bathroom, yanking the shower curtain open to inspect the window.

In all fairness, you could climb out of it if you really wanted to, but you still roll your eyes and tell him, “Probably can’t even fit through there.”

He just stares at you, unmoved.

Frustration simmers in your stomach. All that’s standing between you and the sweet relief of a shower is his lack of trust. There has to be a middle ground.

“What if—” your mouth clamps shut. You shift your weight from one leg, to the other, then shrug, “Would it make you feel better if you were in here while I showered?”

Din’s lips part, stunned for a moment before he carefully says, “Better isn’t the right word—”

“Ok, well, feel free to substitute ‘better’ with ‘more secure,’ or ‘reassured,’ or whatever. You know what I mean.”

He studies the window for a moment, the muscles in his jaw wiggling as he considers the compromise, then looks back at you and nods, “Sure.”

“How long will this take?”

From behind him, Din hears you wrestle clothing off your body into a pile on the floor as you say, “Five minutes, tops.”

The faucet squeaks, then the water comes to life with a stuttering hiss. Twin metallic swooshes signal the shower curtain being pulled open, then shut, then you moan, “Fuuuuck that’s so good.”

His imagination bucks out of his control, and for a moment the only image in his mind can conjure is his body pressed up against yours, skin on skin. How soft and warm you must be. How those words would taste on your lips. All the ways he could make you utter them again and again.

He thinks of your stubbornness, your defiance, and wonders what it would be like to break you. Would you like it?

I am not a good man.

Din squeezes his eyes shut and tries to flush out the deviant thoughts, reminding himself of the handsome bounty he’ll collect when he turns you over. The peace that financial security will bring him. He won’t have to live job-to-job with a white-knuckle grip on existence. He’ll have room to breathe. Maybe he’ll even be able to live a little.

Your honeyed voice pulls him out of his tail-spin.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly…”

Din opens his eyes and stares at the bathroom door, shaking his head in amusement, thinking, Of course you sing in the shower.

It’s sort of nice, though. He doesn’t mind it. In fact, he kind of likes it.

Grogu, obviously feeling left out, scratches at the other side of the door, then lets out a disgruntled whine.

You stop singing and ask, “Is that the pup?”

“Yeah.”

The shower curtain rings squeak, then your voice is right next to him, “Let him in.”

Without thinking, he turns to you and scoffs, “No.”

Water drips off the ends of your sudsy white-blonde hair onto his boot. Your features pinch into a scowl, dark eyes searching his face, “What, why not?”

His gaze flicks to the blur of skin barely concealed behind the shower curtain, then to the pink tiled floor as heat rises to his face, “He’s just gonna jump in there and get wet.”

“So?”

“He’ll stink up the room.”

You snort, “You’re already doing that.“

Din goes to glare at you, but corrects himself and glares at the ceiling instead, “Sure that’s not you?”

You let out an exaggerated gasp that quickly dissolves into laughter, “You asshole.”

He looks down at the doorknob and shakes his head, stifling a chuckle.

“So rude,” you tease as you slide the curtain closed and step back into the steaming shower stream, “Come on, big guy, let the pup come in. He can’t possibly stink more than I did.”

Grogu scratches at the door again, this time letting out a sharp bark instead of a whine.

“Awww, listen to him,” you say, the pout evident in your voice, “So lonely, he just wants to be with us.”

Din rolls his eyes and twists the doorknob to let him in. The dog barrels into the room, skittering across the shiny, bubblegum pink ceramic into the empty garbage can. It goes toppling over, and he uses it like a bumper to correct his course towards the tub. He stands on his hind legs and peaks behind the shower curtain, then woofs for your attention.

“Hello handsome boy!”

Grogu starts panting with excitement, his nails clacking on the floor and the porcelain tub.

“Oh my goodness, do you want to come in here with me?”

He barks.

Din protests, “Don’t—”

“Ok, ready, here we go.”

Both you and the dog groan a little when you lift him, then Din hears clattering and splashing as he lands in the tub and starts flailing around in the water. A sharp giggle pierces his eardrums, making him wince, but there’s such an abundance of joy in your laughter and the dog’s playful growls, Din catches it secondhand and ends up smiling like an idiot.

“Look at you, happy pup! You love the water, don’t you?!”

Grogu lets out a low bow-wow and sneezes, which you respond to with a squeal of delight. Something tender and warm blooms in Din’s chest. Just as soon as he realizes its fragility, he stomps it out, snipping over his shoulder, “Are you almost done?”

The water shuts off with a loud clunk from the faucet and you respond, “Yep.”

Din ends up trying to dry off the wet, rowdy dog while you dig through your backpack.

“Do you think there’s a laundromat here?”

He glances up at you, eyes briefly trailing along the outline of your body beneath the fluffy white towel before he clears his throat, then says, “I don’t know.”

You sniff one of the sweatshirts from your backpack, shrug, and toss it onto the dresser.

“We should check. Everything in here is fucking rank,” you mutter while inspecting a pair of dark pants.

The dog zooms past, drawing Din’s attention, and he manages to scoop him up into a towel, “Gotcha!”

Whining and throwing his weight around like a fish out of water, Grogu tries to escape as Din dries him off. You turn and snort at the dog, “Good luck, I’ve been trying to do that for days,” then pad across the faded, low-rise carpet to the bathroom.

Din glances up at the oval-shaped mirror mounted to the wall, catching a glimpse of your reflection as you drop your towel. Stunned, he fumbles the task at hand and the dog flies from his grip like a bat out of hell.

“Shit,” he mutters, propping his hands on his hips, watching the little white dog torpedo from one end of the room to the other.

“This probably feels like wide open spaces to him after being cooped up in the truck, huh?” you chuckle from the bathroom.

His eyes betray him, flicking to your reflection again. At least you have pants on this time, the waistband of tight black leggings nestled into the dip of your waist. He studies the curve of your spine up to a compass tattooed between your shoulder blades. You pull a baggy maroon sweater over your head and spin around before he can look away. Shame creeps hot up his neck and makes him drop his gaze.

If you caught him staring, it doesn’t show. You just trot past him and throw yourself onto the old, squeaky mattress, stacking one foot atop the other as you stretch out.

Grogu breaks out of his orbit to hop up onto the bed and climb in your lap, tongue hanging from one side of his mouth. A giggle chirps up your throat, and you scratch between his ears, “Do you two have a home base, or just the truck?”

“Just the truck,” Din answers, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall.

“Oooh a coupla rubber tramps,” you grin, “It’s fun, right? Nomad life?”

He tilts his head at you.

Is that why you do this? Because you think living on the road is fun?

His lack of response tugs at the arch of your brow. You look around the room, releasing a sigh through slack lips, making a pfpfpfpf sound, then ask, “Well, whaddya wanna do?”

Din pushes off the wall and starts towards an armoire that looks heirloom or at least second-hand, swinging open its solid oak doors to reveal an old tube TV. A shelf at the top of the cabinet stores a VCR and a few tapes.

“Finding anything fun?”

He reads movie titles off the faded VHS sleeves, “The Wedding Singer, Titanic, Pocahontas, Men in Black.”

“Anything you like?”

“I’m not much of a movie person,” he admits in a murmur, and casts a glance over his shoulder, “Do you have a preference?”

“Not really,” you shrug, “I’m not much of a movie person, either. You pick.”

Din swings his gaze back to the armoire, wrinkling his nose at the options, then pulls out the double-barreled VHS of Titanic and pops in the first tape.

After feeding the movie into the VCR, your captor goes to the little two-person dining room table in the corner of the room and grabs one of the chairs, carrying it over to the opposite side of the bed. You watch him the whole way, eyebrows raised, blinking with annoyance when he sits in the chair and kicks his feet up onto the bed.

“You’re really gonna watch a movie like that?”

He glances over at you, crossing his arms over his chest, “Like what?”

“With your whole,” you circle your wrist around your ear, “Incognito thing. Plus, boots? You can like… be comfortable, did you know that?”

His mouth flattens into a line. A few awkward seconds go by before it clicks and you nod in understanding, “But you can’t be comfortable around me, can you?”

He doesn’t answer. Not that you expect him to.

You grab the remote control off the nightstand and turn up the volume. With previews still running on the TV, you sigh and pull a pillow out from the cheap bedspread, plumping it up and adjusting yourself into a more relaxing position.

“I get it,” you mumble at the screen, “You think that in order for you to maintain this power dynamic, you can’t show belly.”

“Is that what I think?”

When you look over at him, he seems to be studying you through the tint of his aviators. You ask, “Isn’t it?”

He doesn’t answer. Probably because he doesn’t want to admit you’re right. Better than him giving you some bullshit contrarian retort, you suppose, but his silence still burrows gritty between the layers of your skin.

“Whatever, man,” you scoff and roll your eyes, “If you wanna sit way over there in your stupid getup, that’s your decision, but it seems pretty fucking miserable for no good reason.”

His jaw gnashes back and forth a bit before he sits up and takes off his hat, tossing it onto the nightstand, then his sunglasses. His dark eyes meet yours, “Better?”

You look at his black leather boots.

He sighs and drops his feet to the ground, bending over to remove the boots one at a time. When he returns to his previous position, arms crossed over his broad chest, socked feet propped up on the bed, you suppress a grin and turn back to the movie.

"I believe you may get your headlines, Mr. Ismay."

Beneath the thick, curved glass of the TV, the first VHS runs out of tape. Out of the corner of his eye, Din sees you sit up and throw your legs off the bed. Grogu croaks out a sleepy sound from beside you, rolling onto his back. You rise to your feet, asking, “Can we get something to eat before starting the second tape?”

Din glances down at his watch. 4:30. His stomach rumbles. Given the unpredictable twist this day has taken, food has largely remained at the back of his mind until now.

“We could walk further into town and see what we find. I bet the pup has to go potty, anyway. We could take him with us. Maybe Annie can give us a recommendation—”

He looks over at you to respond, but finds himself momentarily tongue-tied. You stretch your clasped hands skyward, pulling the hem of your sweater up to expose a generous slice of your midriff. You’re still distracted as rambling he stares, unable to stop his thoughts from returning to how soft and warm you must be.

His hungry skin aches, deep and throbbing, down to the marrow. An infection festering for years. Or longer. Decades, really.

He tries to recall how long it’s been since he felt the heat of another person. It was snowing, he remembers that much. She was one of those women that made her way around truck stops selling pleasure to lonely guys like him. Lot lizards, some of the truckers called them.

Was he in Colorado? Or was it Ohio?

He remembers the excruciating quiet as she stripped off her snow-clotted outer layers, revealing a petite brunette with wary eyes and a businesslike attitude. Not that he holds those things against her. It’s understandable. Advisable, even, given her line of work and clientele.

Her company didn’t do much to quell his hollow yearning for intimacy, but it was a release nonetheless.

“—So, what do you think?”

Din snaps out of the trance and meets your eyes, all warm and hopeful.

Goddamnit.

“You stay right next to me the whole time.”

“Do I get a treat if I’m good?” you smirk, one eyebrow raising in challenge.

The question bubbles hot at the base of his spine. He tries to keep his countenance neutral when he says, “We’ll see how you do.”

Grogu waddles over to the side of the bed closest to him and yowls for attention. Thankful for the diversion, Din reaches over and scratches the dog between his big ears, “Both of you.”

The dog sniffs the sidewalk a few feet ahead of you and Din, tethered to his owner by a leash. He zig-zags back and forth, completely engulfed in the sights and smells of this brand new world.

You find yourself in a similar state of awe and appreciation. Tilting your face up to the big cotton candy sky, you inhale two lungfuls of the most refreshingly crisp air you may have ever been blessed to receive. Yellow Seed was built in a valley, and it seems like everywhere you look there are mountains in the distance, dark and evergreen and ominous. A stark contrast to whatever magic is happening in the atmosphere.

The world feels so infinite and beautiful that if you let yourself, you could cry about it.

Too caught up in the moment to pay attention to your gait, you knock hands with Din. The impact makes your heart jump. You hear yourself stammer out an overreaction, “Oh shit—sorry, I um, didn’t mean to—”

“Might help if you stop daydreaming.”

“What’re you, my mother?” you scoff under your breath, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“What’s that?”

You glance over at him.

His smug smirk draws your attention briefly before you shake your head and change the subject, “Have you seen Titanic before?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“What made you pick it?”

He shrugs, “Long run time.”

“Shut up, that’s not the only reason, is it?” you laugh, “It’s not because you get to see Kate Winslet’s tits or anything, right?”

His head jerks back a little and his ears turn all red, “What? No—”

“I’m just giving you shit,” you snort.

He exhales an airy chuckle, and a few seconds go by before he asks, “What about you? Have you watched it before?”

His cadence is halting and rusty. Out of practice. You can tell he doesn’t make conversation often, but he’s trying and that’s… sort of sweet, actually.

“I have, but it’s been years. I think I was a kid, maybe six or seven, when I watched it with my grandma at her house,” you smile fondly at the memory, kicking a rock along the sidewalk, “She made me cover my eyes during the nudity and sex and stuff, but I totally peeked.”

“So you’ve always been a troublemaker.”

“I guess so, huh?” you chuckle.

The conversation dies a natural death, and for a while, the two of you just walk alongside each other, following the sidewalk further into Yellow Seed.

The houses you pass, like motel, auto shop, and gas station, all seem to have been built in the 1950’s with few updates since the 1990’s. Mid-century ramblers outfitted in white trim and chipped pastel paint—so much canary yellow. Neat lawns and landscaping and tattered American flags flapping in the wind. As the sidewalk brings you closer to the heart of the town, structures get older, more homes with front porches and earth-toned exteriors.

Downtown Yellow Seed barely occupies two city blocks. The businesses stand shoulder-to-shoulder, all of them constructed of brick or lumber, none of them within the last century. When you turn down the main drag, you squint and blur your vision so that the pickup trucks look like buggies, and you can picture exactly what it looked like when the roads were dirt paths carved out by wagon wheels and horse hooves.

“Outlaw Saloon,” you nod to the sign on an upcoming building and grin at Din, “Sounds like the place for us.”

“Speak for yourself,” he mutters, stepping up onto the sagging floorboards of the porch and starting towards the door.

The dog follows his suggestion, suddenly very interested in this change of direction, his ears perking up into high-alert. Din plucks him off the ground, then pulls the squeaky door open for you to enter, releasing a cacophony of noise: country music and clinking glass and the low murmur of conversation.

As you walk past him into the establishment, you tell Din, “That’s your problem, big guy, you know that? You think you’re so much better than me, but you’re not.”

All you hear in response is a grumble, then the jarring crack of the spring-loaded door slamming shut behind him. When he saddles up to your side, you feel his hand press into the small of your back.

It surprises you a little. Both the action itself, and the way your pulse jumps in response.

You don’t move, but look over at him and find you’re close enough to see his eyes behind his aviators. They flick around the bar as if searching for potential danger in the two dozen locals occupying the saloon. He holds the dog firm and close to his chest and he doesn’t move his hand and you realize that he is protecting you both. Subconsciously, probably, but he’s doing it nonetheless.

Something happens inside you.

A brief but sudden free-fall that flips your stomach and gelatinizes the cartilage in your joints. Your throat struggles to swallow around your thudding heart.

RULE #9: Do not get attached.

Ignoring the warning, you bring yourself closer to him. Just an inch or so, intending to be subtle, so that maybe he won’t notice. You don’t want him to think you like or need his protection, because you don’t.

Need it, that is.

Liking it, however…

If you can glean anything from the steady thrum of heat between your thighs, it’s that you do like it. That is, unfortunately, too blunt a force for you to ignore.

An unamused looking waitress approaches your little trio, grinding a wad of gum between her molars, “No dogs.”

“Oh—he’s an emotional support dog,” you tell her, softening your features into a non-threatening, winsome expression. You put your hand on Din’s arm and explain, “My friend has horrible agoraphobia. The only way I can get him to go out is if we have the dog with us.”

Her eyebrow raises and she blinks at Din, “That true?”

He nods once, “It is.”

She glances between the two of you for a moment, eyes flicking in time with the smack smack smack of her chewing gum, then shrugs, “Alright, come with me.”

As you follow the waitress, he stays by your side, with his warm, wide palm held flush to your spine.

He’s just making sure you don’t bolt. It doesn’t mean anything.

This little voice inside your head makes you feel so foolish, your cheeks start to flush. She’s right, though. You’re making something out of nothing.

But then his thumb moves. Only slightly, and just once, this gentle wiper blade motion—a fucking caress if you’ve ever felt it.

Your face heats even more.

The waitress stops at a wooden, high-back booth and pulls two menus from her apron, placing one on each side of the table. Only when you slide into the booth does his hand depart your body. He sits across from you, placing the dog down beside him.

“Can I get y’all somethin’ to drink?”

“Could I get a water, please?” you ask, flashing her a polite smile.

She nods, then looks at Din.

“I’ll have the same.”

“Two waters, anything else?”

You glance up at Din, trying hard not to drop your gaze when you feel his eyes meet yours. He shakes his head slightly, and you tell her, “No, I think that’s good for now, thank you.”

“Be right back.”

Once she’s out of earshot, Din asks, “Agoraphobia?”

“Pretty slick, huh?” you grin.

He smirks and shakes his head, looking down at the menu. The dog wriggles his way under his owner’s arm. Din allows it, absentmindedly petting him while evaluating food options.

Letting out a sigh, you turn your attention to the menu, too. Burgers, chicken, basic sandwiches, fried food. Standard bar fare. It doesn’t take you long to decide on a grilled cheese, leaving you to study the innards of the Outlaw Saloon.

The place is cavernous. Tin ceiling tiles two stories above the ground stretch much further back than you expected. Everything else, from the walls to the furniture to the floors, all appears to be made from the same dark, lacquered wood.

Predictably, the décor is an homage to cowboy lore. Taxidermized livestock, paintings of horses, and antique farm equipment have been mounted on the walls. Among them hang wanted posters of infamous Wild West gunslingers, such as Wyatt Earp and Billy the Kid. Sort of camp, but in an endearing way.

The bar bustles with activity, much busier than you thought it would be. In a small town like this, you weren’t expecting to see more than a handful of regulars out on a Wednesday evening, but there are at least 20, maybe 30, other patrons scattered about the venue.

As you look around at the strangers, you think to yourself, “Not one of these people would look out of place at a rodeo,” which is to say that the crowd looks to be a mix of ranchers and other working class folks. At least half are strapped with a handgun, which isn’t particularly alarming, especially in a rural Western town like this, but always good to note. Occasionally, people mutter to each other while shooting dirty looks at your table. Probably because you’re out-of-towners who had the audacity to bring a dog into their beloved saloon.

“Damn, if we were carrying, I bet we’d fit in a little better,” you comment mildly.

“Who says I’m not?”

You look over at him and tilt your head, “Are you?”

“I am.”

This interests you. You fold your legs up into a pretzel and lean your elbows onto the table, “Whaddya have?”

With his expressive eyes concealed, it’s hard to read what his silence means, but you guess trying to determine your question’s intent.

Before either of you can say anything else, the waitress approaches your table carrying two glasses of water. As she slides one in front of you, then the other in front of Din, you ask her, “Do you guys ever have live music here?”

“Sure,” she shrugs and plants one hand on her hip, “Nothing this weekend, though.”

You glance over at Din, who’s shaking his head slowly, as if to say, “Don’t you fucking dare,” but ignore it and ask, “Do you want live music this weekend?”

“I take it I do not get a treat?”

Din clenches his jaw, glaring up at you from his crouched position as he unhooks Grogu’s leash. He hasn’t said anything to you since you coaxed your way into a gig at the Outlaw Saloon, blatantly disregarding his wishes to lay low in this town.

If he wasn’t so goddamn hungry, and if it wouldn’t have roused the attention of the already suspicious locals, he would have hauled you out of the restaurant the second you inquired with the waitress about live music.

You must have felt the anger radiating off him in waves, because your attempts at conversation since have been few and far in between.

For that, he’s grateful.

The red glowering beneath his skin feels unpredictable. That familiar loathsome beast. Something he believed extinct inside him, eradicated through years of training, now awake and growling.

He rises to a standing position and starts pacing, trying to keep calm.

Meanwhile, you take your doodle-ridden acoustic guitar, plop down on the bed, and start strumming a tune.

Heat wells up in his chest.

“It’ll be fun, you’ll see. Gives us something to do,” you tell him, watching your own fingertips move skillfully along the neck of the instrument, “Plus, I could rake in a decent amount of money, which could help us—”

“Stop it.”

The music cuts immediately.

He takes off his hat and sunglasses, tossing them onto the chest of drawers, then turns to face you, meeting your doe-eyed gaze with too much vitriol.

“There is not an us. This is not a team. I do not want or need your help.”

Your shoulders sag. You furrow your brow, searching his face, and your lips part to protest, but he cuts you off hard.

“You are nothing to me but a payload. An annoying, entitled payload. Do you understand?”

You react as if he slapped you across the face. Your head jerks back and you drop your gaze to the floor, face getting all red.

He stares at you, awaiting your counterattack, but all you do is let out a choked sob.

The sharp tip of this noise pierces the over-inflated balloon of his anger, bursting it instantly. In its sudden absence, an ache starts in his chest. He looks back at the situation from this calmer state of mind, cleared of red haze, and feels ashamed of himself.

Grogu jumps onto the bed to sit at your side, and whines up at you. Inhaling a wobbly breath, you reach out and scratch his head, then mumble a damp, “It’s ok, pup.”

Some time goes by with only your quiet sniffles to break the silence, then you ask, “Where am I sleeping?”

As soon as the mention of sleep hits him, his bones turn to lead, heavy with exhaustion. How long has it been since he’s slept? It feels like days. Nothing last night, barely a few hours the night before that.

“You have options,” he responds. At this, you let out a sad, soft chuckle that he ignores, continuing, “There’s the bathroom, your sleeping bag, or the bed.”

“I assume I would be restrained in each of these scenarios?”

He folds his arms over his chest and nods, “In the bathroom, I would cuff you to the toilet. The other two, I…” he grimaces, “It would be to me.”

“Wow, ok,” you take the guitar out of your lap and prop it up on the nightstand, “A toilet or the man who thinks I’m a piece of shit.”

“I didn’t say—”

“You didn’t have to.”

He meets your gaze, holding it steady for a few seconds before saying, “Charlie, I…”

The apology gets all tangled in his throat. You wait a while for him to finish the thought. When he doesn’t, you move past it, your voice void of emotion.

“Do you have a preference?”

“No.”

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to sleep in the bed.”

Din nods in acknowledgment. He glances down at his watch, finds it’s barely past 6, and asks, “Are you tired now?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

As if to confirm, you suck in a shaky breath and yawn, stretching your hands above your head. It spreads to him.

“Give me a few minutes,” he tells you.

In response, you tug at the bedspread and wriggle your way between the sheets. Grogu grumbles for a moment at the adjustment, then turns in a few circles and plops down beside you with a hmph.

You’re probably exhausted, too, given the ups and downs of this week. Being taken captive. Sleeping in the same room as Din when you cannot trust him. Spending all your time with someone whose explicit intent is to turn you in for a pretty penny.

It must take an emotional toll, even if you don’t let it show most of the time. Even if you have that rule to… how did you put it?

Live in the now.

To your credit, you have been trying your damnedest to follow that rule. By getting to know people whose paths cross yours, bonding with Grogu, writing and drawing in your notebook, playing music, suggesting ways to squeeze as much experience as possible out of what little time you have left.

Din likes that about you. Your relentless optimism. It’s admirable.

He likes a lot of things about you, he realizes. Your cunning, and your curiosity, and your ferocity. Your gap-toothed smile. The skillful way you play the guitar. How you curled into him ever-so-slightly when he placed his hand on your back earlier.

It occurs to him then that you may feel it, too. That gooey electric current when he touches you, or when his eyes meet yours for longer than a second.

His own words echo back to him: “You are nothing to me but a payload.”

He wants to take it back.

It’s not even true, he just wishes it was. He wishes he looked at you and saw a bad person who’s going to get what she deserves. The truth couldn’t be more contrary.

While your captor goes about his nighttime routine, you sulk.

It’s all you can do, really, since he’s made it abundantly clear your presence is a nuisance. Worse than that, even. You are nothing but an asset to him.

Ironically, it makes you feel worthless.

You think about how pathetic your burgeoning crush on him is. Were you imagining the chemistry between you?

Of course you were.

You were making things up—“Living in LaLa Land,” as your mother used to say.

Din pulls back the covers on the opposite side of the bed. The mattress shifts under his weight, and he groans as he stretches out. Every nerve ending in your body lights up when you feel the heat of him. The distance between you is exactly the width of a French Bulldog.

“Hey, kid,” he murmurs.

His voice is low and syrupy. Warm.

Your throat works in a slow bob before you roll on your back to look at him. Your eyes meet his, and your stomach flips. When whoever said that thing about the eyes being the window to the soul, they must have been talking about him. You can see it all right there, written in bold print: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.

Or maybe that’s just what you want to see. Fuck, but why? Why do you even care?

You should fucking know better.

This is only temporary. Din. His dog. The truck. This room. Tonight. Life, really, if you wanted to get existential about it.

“Do you want to watch the rest of that movie?”

You frown as you consider this for a moment, then nod.

He gets out of bed and walks over to the big armoire. As he pops in the second Titanic VHS tape, you study the broad span of his shoulders and biceps stretching his t-shirt taut.

God, he looks solid and strong and just so fucking good.

This guy robbed you of your dignity and all you can think about right now is what his lips would feel like on yours. If he would be a greedy lover, or a generous one, or both. Would he be intuitive or clumsy with your body? Would he be rough?

He would be with me.

Heat blossoms on your cheeks and deep in your center. You don’t know how you know, but you do. He just seems… pressurized. Combustible. Especially towards you.

On his way back to bed, while the tape rewinds, Din rummages through his backpack and piles some of its contents into one arm. He sits down at the edge of the mattress and hands you a bottle of water, then holds out two candy bars and says, “Pick one.”

“Is this an apology?”

“No, it’s chocolate.”

You blink at him and cross your arms.

His features soften. He shakes his head, “What I said was not kind. You didn’t deserve that.”

“No, I didn’t,” you agree, keeping your gaze stern, “You can’t talk to me like that.”

“I understand. I’m sorry.”

You search his face. There’s such earnestness there, you believe him.

A mechanical click sounds from the VCR, then the TV lights up as Titanic starts where it left off.

Your gaze drops to the candy bars, and you pluck one from his hand. The one that advertises a peanut-buttery crunch. Peeling off its yellow wrapper, you smirk, “Apology accepted.”

Din climbs all the way into bed, stuffing the flat hotel pillows behind his back, then opens the shiny silver wrapper of his candy bar. For a while, it’s quiet except for the warbled audio from the TV and the crunch of your chewing.

You get that feeling again like sunshine on your skin or God or whatever, and you laugh out loud.

“What?” Din asks.

“It’s probably really weird that I’m happy right now, right?”

“Are you?”

You peek over at him and chuckle, “Yeah, I mean… I’m eating my favorite candy and watching a good movie. Laying in a bed with a cute dog and…yeah,” you shrug, turning back to the TV, “I don’t know. I like it.”

He hums in acknowledgment, then asks, “Do you have your knife?”

“Why, you gonna take it from me so I don’t kill you in your sleep?” You let the question hang in the air for one whole second before continuing, “I’ll be real up close and personal, wouldn’t even have to sneak, just,” you drag your thumb across your throat, “Blech, dead.”

“I’m not taking it from you,” he tells you, pulling out his handcuffs, “But if you want to get it or use the bathroom, now’s your chance.”

You take the opportunity to relieve your bladder and change into your comfiest (and least offensive smelling) clothes.

Before tucking your pocket knife into your sleeve, you stare at it for a minute and consider actually using it to get the fuck out of here. Something you’ve considered dozens of times, if you’re being honest, but this time the idea weighs a million pounds.

When you open the bathroom door and step into the motel room, Din looks up at you from the bed. His gaze wanders briefly down your body as you climb into bed, then correct its course back to your eyes, “All set?”

You nod and hold your right arm out to him.

His touch is gentle when he closes the cuff around your wrist. Clicks sound from the apparatus until it’s clear your hand won’t be capable of wiggling free.

He secures the other cuff around his left wrist, settles his arm next to yours, and asks, “How is that?”

“It’s fine,” you nod, your voice too high, then swallow hard and chuckle, “Well, I guess as fine as being handcuffed in a bed can be. Probably not the best it could be, but not the worst, um, either.”

You wince at yourself and look at the TV, where Rose is wading through thigh-high water, carrying an ax. Thankfully, he doesn’t respond, but turns off the light on his nightstand. You do the same with yours. Aside from the TV, only a faint glow comes in through the window. Daylight’s last gasping breath.

You close your eyes and fondle the cool metal of your pocket knife in your left hand.

RULE #8: Take care of yourself.

Din shifts a little, and the back of his hand butts up against yours. Neither of you go to move. Warmth branches out from the spot, expanding and taking root deep in your belly.

RULE #2: Listen to your gut.

With this, you tuck the pocket knife under your pillow and roll onto your side facing him. You think about how nice it would be to rest your head on him, but resist the urge. The edges of consciousness start to fold in on themselves, and you murmur, “Sweet dreams, big guy.”

“Goodnight.”

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