#fun fact the first time i ever heard of the 'triangle' being a symbol of 'the gays' was bc some dad in this group i was in as a kid saw i

[theninaproject]

ok a little bit of (maybe bullshit) costume analysis here for your consideration: the triangle pocket on Mike’s shirt here... reminded me of the triangle symbol used on the pink triangle pride flag. (not to mention the fact the muppet poster behind him has a rainbow on it already lmao)

(the first flag pic is taken from footage of one of the ACT UP protests of the 80s)

EDIT: now that there’s confirmation from Finn that this outfit was handmade for Mike this season... I’m gonna post this again lol.

[tw for the Keep Reading section: contains references to/images of gay men in N*zi concentration camps and discusses the persecution of gay men. nothing graphic, but i wanted to put a warning just in case...]

(+ disclaimer: i am not a historian or prominent activist, any and all of this research has been conducted by myself and is limited to what i have currently seen/read. i do not claim to be an expert. some of the information i have may be faulty, plain wrong, or now outdated. feel free to let me know if you spot anything that is incorrect, has bad sources, or is disrespectful so i can fix it!)

now, while i certainly would hope mike’s struggle with identity and his feelings would become more overt over the course of the season, if this is where they’re going to officially take mike’s character, it would make sense to have the first few episodes using mostly coding/subtext to convey Mike’s confusion  until mike feels ready to talk about it and feels he has the right words so it doesn’t feel too abrupt to general viewers not as closely following/used to decoding subtext (which would also make sense because, again, in-universe he likely doesn’t have the words to describe his feelings and experience just yet).

so, without further ado, here are some more examples of the pink triangle and how these messages and their imagery could tie into a possible arc where we see Mike struggling with his sexuality this season...

the famous SILENCE = DEATH flag here also reminded me so much of Mike likely having a ‘One Way’ or ‘This Way’ sign pointed directly towards his closet in his room back in Hawkins... aka he will have to stay silent/in the closet if he stays in Hawkins or doesn’t get away for a while to ‘find himself’. now combine this with the fact that Mike is going to Cali for spring break and therefore getting a chance to get out and far away from Hawkins (and his “closet”), that makes his upcoming arc this season even more compelling to me.. if i am onto something here.

+ since this season will likely already contain heavy themes of how, over time, the continual Lack of Access to Info, Spreading Misinfo & Cover Ups, Repression, Secrets, Lies, and Mistrust as a result of those Lies = Escalation of Tension and even Death [be it a physical or metaphorical death, of self/of relationships/trust/community/etc] what with Vecna being the new big bad or whatever, it would make sense more than ever for them to tackle this side of Mike’s character this season...

as it seems like the 2019 HBO Limited Series on Chernobyl has inspired a lot of the visuals/coloring for this season (and the Duffers even managed to snag the makeup artist from the series to work on the makeup/SFX for Vecna this season), I’d imagine this quote could apply to this season’s themes just as well: “What is the cost of lies? It's not that we'll mistake them for the truth. The real danger is that if we hear enough lies, then we no longer recognize the truth at all.” and these political themes are certainly still just as relevant today as they were in the 80′s.

(separating this bit from the rest since it’s a bit of a detour from the topic as it pertains to themes of this season/series as a whole, rather than relating to specifically Mike’s struggles with sexuality..)

+ [ST4 SPOILERS AHEAD] the themes of ‘going out west’: consider the lyrics from the song that plays over Mike reading his letter from El, California Dreamin’, “i’d be safe and warm if i was in LA...” (compare this to how Will described the ‘Upside Down’ as somewhere dark, empty, dangerous and cold..) and how also in the letter, one of the lines El pens is ‘I think you will love it here [in California].’ when Cali is ...

(blue text’s source: http://picturethis.museumca.org/timeline/reagan-years-1980s/gay-lesbian-rights/info)

[the potential for any ST4 SPOILERS currently leaked Ends Here.]

now, onto the triangle symbol itself. the upside down pink triangle symbol was made infamous as a piece of pink cloth that was sewn onto the uniforms of gay men in N*zi concentration camps as a way to identify them and persecute them.

the placement of these patches was located where the right breast pocket was/would be. so maybe you can see why i immediately did a double take seeing that triangle on the right-side pocket of mike’s shirt.. again, i would certainly hope they’d get more overt as the season goes along-- but i could understand using these subtle cues to the LGBT viewers at first as a way to sort of signal that ‘hey this is where we’re going with this character’

i believe this history ties in as well with a theme in ST of how the 80′s a lot of knowledge and access to information could be more easily limited/relegated to what media you were able to see or read due to there not being an easily accessible source of endless information (and misinfo alike lol) in most people’s homes like we have now. a lot of the history on the pink triangles was difficult to divulge for a long time as well, due to the ongoing persecution of the LGBT community-- so it was unsafe or just didn’t seem wise at the time for survivors, who had already been forced to endure such unspeakable trauma, to hold onto these things which would likely only serve as painful ‘reminders’ for most.

of course, this could all just be coincidence... it could just so happen that they wanted a simple shape and the one they used was a triangle, maybe the costume designer just likes that shape for pockets, or maybe it was generally a popular design in the 80′s (i’m not a fashion expert, nor was i coming of age in the 1980′s so sorry i’m not sure either way there lol)... but if it isn’t a coincidence, i could see this being a visual representation of mike’s fears of his secret being ‘found out’ while also aimlessly signaling how he desperately wants someone who is gay to notice the signals he’s giving off-- he wants someone who understands to answer his changed demeanor as the cry for help it is. it’s even harder to ask for help when you don’t currently have the words for what it is you’re struggling with, because that isn’t me saying mike consciously was thinking these things when he chose that shirt, but rather it’s a way of conveying the subtext/what mike is feeling and thinking by the designers to the audience through recognizable symbols.

(here are some links to sources with more information on the pink triangles:

/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLwSF9uhNQQ&ab_channel=PoweredByRainbows%E2%84%A2

/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kj-wGkcyTL8&ab_channel=UnitedStatesHolocaustMemorialMuseum

/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OxH1rqBAgw&t=747s&ab_channel=JamesSomerton 

/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o84srvQAaWk&ab_channel=CambridgeDocumentaryFilms

/ https://thereaderwiki.com/en/Pink_triangles

/ https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/the-men-with-the-pink-triangle-heinz-heger)

the pink triangle was a symbol eventually reclaimed by LGBT activists and became a more well-known symbol amongst the community and then to the general public in the late 80′s/90′s. sometimes this reclamation involved turning the triangle from upside down to right-side up, as a “reversal” of its original usage, and has since been used and adapted as such onscreen... take, for example, one of the costume designs for Dr. Frank ‘N' Furter here...

(https://forward.com/culture/352199/the-secret-jewish-history-of-the-rocky-horror-picture-show/ & https://medium.com/thinking-about-queer-art-performance/rated-r-for-resistance-c6e21611a0fa)

but again.. this could all be a massive stretch so.. just take it with a grain of salt! these are purely inferences i’ve made thru my own lens where i recognize a lot of this imagery pretty immediately so i have a bias probably lol.

+ new addition post-s4: I also found it interesting the parallel between how the Act Up organization made their own shirts for protests and how Dustin makes specific mention of how The Hellfire Club makes their own t-shirts..

#fun fact the first time i ever heard of the 'triangle' being a symbol of 'the gays' was bc some dad in this group i was in as a kid saw i #was dressed as tinky winky for halloween... #n he went up to my mom and was like 'U LET UR KID WATCH *THAT SHOW*!?!?' and went on a whole tnagent where my mom was like... #'....ok but shes literally five how would she get ANY of that ??????' #which sounds maybe insulting but she was RIGHT! have u not seen the devastating state of our current media literacy teaching Craig? #... but now i AM gay so hey who knows! #/j #the being gay thing is not a joke... that guy being 'right' is a joke LOL #the real joke on him is that now i DO know what the triangle means but... it uh. certainly wasnt until i got to be college aged LOL #and yea it could def just be coincidence trust me i dont rule that out but lemme indulge #this was in my drafts for a while cuz i didnt know if it was like... problematic?? in the way im presenting this #feels too light almost. im not sure. maybe im just paranoid but i want to be respectful lol #so if anyone has any feedback on that front dont hesitate to reach out

[jaybear1701]

One-night stands are supposed to be quick, easy, and forgettable. 

No strings attached.  

And they’re certainly not supposed to show up on your first day at work--your first crime scene, no less--with a roguish grin and sparkling blue eyes that are just as mesmerizing in the harsh light of day as they had been after four cocktails in a dive bar.

"Oh,” is all Scylla can manage to breathe out when Dr. Izadora L’Amara aka the medical examiner aka Scylla’s boss for the next year introduces her to Raelle Collar. Detective Raelle Collar of the Salem Police Department. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in black slacks and a form-fitting blue oxford rolled part-way up her forearms. 

“Pleased to meet you, Dr. Ramshorn,” Raelle drawls as they shake hands, her grip lingering perhaps a second longer than necessary. “Again.” Her blonde hair--braided on one side like it had been on Saturday night--practically glows in the sun, and Scylla tamps down the memory of how much better it looked as a golden halo spread across a pillow.

“The pleasure’s mine,” Scylla says and then inwardly cringes when Raelle’s grin widens into shit-eating. She could have phrased it better. Much better. 

“I didn’t realize you two already knew each other,” Izadora says, arching one eyebrow.

“We’re acquainted.” Raelle winks at Scylla, whose cheeks burn. At least Scylla could blame it on the summer heat.

Izadora hums as she makes her way to the bodies. Raelle follows after with Scylla in tow, past a small crowd of curious onlookers and a television news crew that’s setting up their camera and mic’ing up their reporter.

They approach an alleyway barricaded with yellow police tape, which Raelle pulls up to allow Scylla and Izadora to duck underneath. 

“What do we have?” Izadora asks as Raelle leads them to the crime scene where three victims await, bodies arranged in a perverse triangle.

“Triple homicide,” Raelle answers. “And one we’ve identified as Constance Treefine, so you can imagine the press will have a field day if that gets out. Still waiting to confirm the identities of the others.”

“Treefine?” Scylla asks.

“A member of one of Salem’s oldest and wealthiest High Atlantic families,” Izadora explains.

Around them, patrol officers and crime scene investigators bustle about collecting evidence. 

“Think the cause of death is pretty obvious,” Raelle says. 

“We’ll be the judge of that, Detective Collar, thank you very much.” Izadora crouches down next to the closest victim and snaps on a pair of latex gloves. Scylla and Raelle follow suit. “Male, 40s,” Izadora says.“Ramshorn?”

“His larynx has been extracted.” Scylla prods at the wound carefully with a gloved finger. “The cuts are clean. Precise. Almost… professional. No signs of hemorrhaging, which is unusual. Cause of death unclear.”

Izadora nods in approval.

“If you say so, beautiful.” Raelle shrugs. 

Izadora returns to a standing position. “Dr. Ramshorn, complete your preliminary examinations and meet me back at the station.” She eyes Raelle. “And Detective Collar, please remember to be professional. Lest I have another conversation with Sergeant Quartermaine.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Raelle gives her a jaunty salute before turning all her attention back to Scylla, who pretends she’s not there as she continues a visual examination of the bodies. 

She notices a patch of red skin behind the victim’s ear and carefully lifts his lobe. “There’s some kind of marking here.” Scylla points at a black symbol of what appears to be a complicated sigil. “A tattoo, perhaps.”

“Fresh by the looks of it,” Raelle says before waving someone over. “Tal, get a shot of this.” 

One of the investigators with a DSLR approaches, a woman with long red hair tied in a ponytail. She crouches down and snaps a photo, the camera’s light flashing. 

“Fascinating,” she exclaims. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” She looks up and smiles at Scylla. “And I’ve not seen you before either.”

“Oh, sorry,” Raelle says. “Tally, this is our newest pathologist, Dr. Scylla Ramshorn. Dr. Ramshorn, this is Tally Craven, one of our best CSIs.” 

“Nice to meet you, Tally. I’d shake your hand, but...” Scylla raises her contaminated gloves. 

“No worries.” Tally nods in understanding. “Scylla’s a really beautiful name. Greek, right?” She tilts her head toward Raelle. “Didn’t you say you met a Scylla the other night?”

Heat prickles across the back of Scylla’s neck.

Raelle clears her throat. “Just a coincidence.”

“Huh,” Tally says. “Well, welcome aboard, Scylla. Let me know if there’s ever anything I can do for ya.”

She pops back up and wanders over to take photos of the other victims, leaving Raelle and Scylla together in an awkward silence. Raelle looks like she wants to say something more, but she doesn’t. Thankfully. 

“Well, I’ll let you get to it, Doc,” Raelle says before she walks away to confer with other officers.

And Scylla lets out a breath of relief, thankful that she can focus on the task at hand, trying her best to ignore the occasional looks Raelle throws her way. 

 ***

 Several hours later, Scylla's on her way to the morgue, eager to begin the autopsies. This is where she thrives, alone with her work, disengaging from emotions and focusing on science to  uncover secrets from the dead that only she can find. To bring them justice. And, she hopes, a modicum of peace.

She doesn't expect to bump into Ralle at the elevator, waiting for the car to arrive. 

“So, Doc, you left super early yesterday," Raelle says as she falls into step next to Scylla. "Missed out on some mean chocolate-chip pancakes.”

She has to nip this in the bud. Pronto.

“Let me stop you right there, Detective,” Scylla interrupts. “Saturday night was… fun." That's an understatement. Mind-blowing is more like it. Earth shattering. Game changing. "But nothing more. And the sooner we put it behind us, the better.”

Raelle’s smile falls from her all too-attractive face. “Sure, of course.” 

Scylla inwardly curses.

And that's that.

***

Or so she thinks. 

Every once in a while, Raelle stops by the morgue to check on the “windpipe” case--Raelle insists on that description even though Scylla has thoroughly explained that the trachea and the larynx, despite their proximity, are two very different anatomical parts. 

Raelle's professional and polite, despite Scylla's rejection, but doesn't quite get the memo that she's not supposed to be charming or cute or adorable.

One day, Raelle sets down a disposable cup of coffee on Scylla’s desk and pushes it toward her. A familiar logo adorns its sleeve: two coffee beans in a V-shape to form a heart. It’s from Scylla’s favorite shop, nowhere near the precinct. 

 "Kona, no cream, one sugar," Raelle props her hip on the desk. "I've heard on the grapevine it's your favorite."

"Are you stalking me, Detective?"

"Stalking?" Raelle mimes being stabbed in the heart. "You wound me, Doc. It's called gathering intel."

"Gathering intel," Scylla repeats, leaning back in her chair. She'd prefer to keep Raelle at arm's length, but a small part of her feels flattered anyway, an unwelcome warmth spreading through her chest."

"Learning about a new colleague."

"Temporary colleague. The fellowship's only one year."

"Still plenty of time for us to get to know each other better. And there are much easier ways than me tracking down your coffee order. Like, lunch? Or dinner?"

Scylla has to shut this down. Again. 

"Detective Collar."

"Raelle."

"Sorry?"

"You can call me Raelle. Like you did when we met."

"Detective." Scylla’s face heats up, remembering exactly how she had said Raelle’s name on that particular night. Had breathed it out like a prayer, and a curse. "You're sweet.. But I don't date coworkers." 

Let alone one-night stands.

"Who said anything about a date?" Raelle rubs her chin between her thumb and forefinger, just beneath the scar along her cheek that Scylla vividly remembers worshiping with her lips in the not-so-distant past. "You’ve gotta eat, don’t you? Or are you not friends with coworkers, either?”

Scylla rakes her teeth across her bottom lip, partly mortified by her assumption. 

“Tell ya what,” Raelle grins as she slides off the desk. “If you're ever in need of wholesome and completely platonic sustenance, you know where to find me."

Scylla picks up the coffee and removes the lid. She blows on it, breath skimming the heavenly brown liquid, and sips. It burns her tongue anyway.

   ***

"So, how are things?" Sergeant Anacostia Quartermaine takes a large bite of her turkey on wheat, elbows on her desk as she chews. 

Much like Anacostia, her office is practical, functional, and no-nonsense, with hardly any personal decorations except for a single picture frame on her painfully neat desk. In it is a photo of Anacostia and Scylla on her graduation day from medical school, both of them beaming at the camera.

Smiling at the memory, Scylla unwraps her own lunch, a vegetarian wrap. Extra mushrooms. "Not bad," she answers.

"Not bad?" Anacostia repeats. "We've got a serial killer on the loose and all you have to say about it is: not bad?"

"Fine, it's amazing," Scylla says in an overexaggerated manner. "A dream come true. In fact, it's beyond my wildest imaginings."

"And here you thought coming back home for your fellowship would be boring." Anacostia smiled. "You making any friends?"

Scylla waves that off, as she takes a bit of her wrap and mumbles, "I'm not here for that." 

"I know, but it wouldn't kill you to have some fun every once in a while."  Anacostias waggles a potato chip at Scylla before popping it in her mouth.

Scylla stops mid-chew. "That's hilarious coming from you."

"Excuse you. I have fun."

"Your idea of fun is organizing your kitchen pantry by alphabetical order. You don't get to judge me."

"I'm not judging. I'm encouraging, as is my right as your guardian."

On the other side of the glass wall that partitions Anacostia's office from the rest of the detectives' desks, Scylla notices Raelle enter the room. She doesn’t take note of Scylla at first, but when their eyes lock, she gives her a slow smile that still makes Scylla’s stomach flutter despite the self-imposed distance she placed between them. And Anacotia--being the savvy detective that she is--notices Scylla noticing Raelle noticing Scylla.

"Not making friends, huh?" Anacostia has a knowing smile on her face. 

"We’re not friends," Scylla says perhaps too quickly.

“If you say so,” Anacostia says. “Collar is one of my best detectives, but…”

“But?”

“Just be careful with her,” Anacostia  warns softly. “She’s not as tough as she’d like people to believe.” 

   ***

If there’s one thing Scylla learns about Raelle after her lunch with Anacostia, it’s that she definitely has quite the reputation. Not that Scylla’s going out of her way to “gather intel” on Raelle. Not in the slightest.

Raelle and her partner, Abigail Bellweather of the High Atlantic Bellweathers, are the two youngest detectives in the department. They’re on a hot streak for solving murders, but they also have a penchant for mayhem. Lots of mayhem. Rumor has it that they once managed to blow up two large trucks in the pursuit of a serial bomber, damaging parts of a newly paved stretch of highway. The mayor was, suffice it to say, far from pleased. Neither was Abigail’s mother, Chief of Police Petra Bellweather. Aside from their destructive tendencies, Raelle, apparently, is also notorious for charming the panties off half the women in the precinct and breaking hearts--if scuttlebutt can be believed. 

And Scylla takes it all as proof that she made the right decision to keep Raelle at arm’s length. Raelle is nothing but trouble disguised behind gorgeous blue eyes and a roguish smile. 

   ***

But Scylla also discovers Raelle is very much a study in contradiction. She plays hard, but works hard, too. On nights Scylla leaves late at night after a long day of autopsies or reports, Raelle’s always at her desk whenever Scylla walks past the detectives’ offices, typing furiously on her keyboard, candy bar wrappers and open cans of Red Bull sitting atop stacks of manila papers and folders.

One night, Scylla can’t resist and stops in the doorway. “Do you ever sleep?”

“These cases aren’t gonna solve themselves, Doc.” Raelle leans back in her chair, lips turning up, languid and easy. 

Scylla hates how Raelle’s smile still makes her heart skip a beat. “Detective, are you familiar with the law of diminishing returns?”

“Should I be?”

“Yes, for your well being,” Scylla says. “At some point, the benefits you gain from working start to decrease the more you overwork.” 

“Correct me if I’m wrong.” Raelle makes an exaggerated show of stretching out her arm and squinting at her wrist watch. It’s nearly midnight. “But it sounds like the pot calling the kettle black.”

Scylla rolls her eyes. “I’m just saying, breaks are good every now and again.”

“Doctor’s orders?” Raelle winks.

“Yeah, doctor’s orders,” Scylla can’t help but smile. 

“I’ll take it under advisement,” Raelle accedes. “Though, if you’re offering to help me comply with those orders...”

And that’s Scylla’s cue to leave before she can do anything she might regret. Again. “Goodnight, Detective.”

 ***

The murders continue. Always in the same pattern. Three unrelated victims, of every age, sex, race, national origin, religion, and socio-economic status, positioned to form a grotesque triangle. All with their vocal folds removed with minimal blood from the wound site. All with a different sigil tattooed somewhere on their bodies..

“Toxicology finally came back on the first victims.” Scylla hands a copy of the report to Abigail, adopting a neutral and professional tone that she hopes effectively masks her disappointment that a certain blonde detective is nowhere to be seen. “Each victim had etorphine, pentobarbital, pancuronium bromide, and potassium chloride in their systems.”

“And what does that mean in English?” Abigail frowns as she flips through the pages. 

“Etorphine is a tranquilizer. The others, when combined, are commonly used in lethal injections.”  

Abigail’s head shoots up. “Seriously?”

It’s then that Raelle rushes into the room and brushes past Scylla, a little worse for wear. She tucks her dress shirt in her pants, creases apparent against white, and tosses a wrinkled blazer on the back of her chair. It looks suspiciously like she’s wearing the same outfit as yesterday.

“Sorry, I’m late.” She sits and rolls her chair up to the desk. “Oh, hey there, Doc.” Self-consciously, Raelle combs her fingers through her hair, wincing when they snag against tangles. “Didn’t think you’d be visiting this early.”

“It’s almost noon,” Scylla points out.

Abigail gives Raelle an unimpressed once over. “You look like shit.” 

“Why, thank you, Bells. You always know how to make a girl feel special.”

Abigail gives her a flat stare. “Where have you been? Quartermaine would have had your ass if she didn’t have a meeting with the chief.”

Scylla bites the inside of her cheek at the mention of Anacostia. She wonders if anyone has put two-and-two together about their relationship. Not that they’ve been hiding it, per se.

“Had another all-nighter,” Raelle shrugs. “You know how those go.” 

Abigail just shakes her head. “You’re hopeless.”

Scylla’s unsure what an “all-nighter” entails, though she has an inkling. Her stomach twists slightly, even though she has no right to be bothered about whatever (or whomever) Raelle does. 

“Anyway, what were you guys talking about?” Raelle asks.

Abigail tosses the file to Raelle, who fumbles it slightly as she catches it. “Ramshorn here says the victims were drugged and executed.”

“Based on our findings, it’s plausible the victims were sedated and killed before their larynxes were removed,” Scylla explains. “That could explain the lack of blood around the extraction point.”

Raelle eyes the report. “So we could be dealing with a medical professional?”

“Assuming nothing was stolen or otherwise acquired through less than legal means,” Abigail says.

“Well, it’s more than what we had before,” Raelle smiles.  “Thanks, Doc.”

“Oh, Scylla, there you are!” Tally bounds up to them from out of nowhere. “I swung by your office, but you weren’t there.”

“Sorry, Tally, I’m just finishing up with the detectives,” Scylla says. “Unless there’s anything else you two need?”

Abigail shakes her head. “Whoa, wait, your name is Scylla?”

“That’s right.”

Abigail’s gaze ping-pongs between Raelle, who looks ready to murder Abigail on the spot, and an increasingly embarrassed.Scylla, who wonders just how many people Raelle had told about their night together. For all she knows it’s the entire precinct. 

“Well,” Abigail’s eyebrows raise, “That’s interesting.”

“Not as interesting as coffee,” Tally hooks her arm through Scylla’s.

“Wait, you’re having coffee together?” Raelle asks. She looks almost hurt, not that Scylla cares.

“That’s right.” Scylla smiles. “Tally Craven, let’s have that coffee.”

Tally beams as she pulls Scylla away. 

Scylla swears she can feel Raelle’s stare every step of the way. 

***

After another long Friday of autopsies, Scylla can’t wait to get back to her apartment and take a soak in a hot, hard-earned bubble bath. She’s almost to the front entrance when she nearly runs headfirst into Raelle, who’s sporting a busted lip and a bruise on her left cheek, just above her scar.

“Detective, what…” Scylla is at a loss of words, heart in her throat.

“Oh, hey, Doc,” Raelle tries to give her usual playful grin, but the effect is lost amid the shallow cuts along her chin and the dried blood caked around her nose. “Heading out?”

Worry claws at Scylla’s stomach. “Your face.” 

“Still pretty, right?”

Scylla places a hand on Raelle’s elbow and guides her to the side. “What happened? Are you okay?”  She asks as Abigail pushes the doors open, probably with a little more force than necessary. Unlike Raelle, Abigail is unscathed, a deep scowl on her face.

“Long story,” Raelle says.

“She tried to stop a robbery without backup like a reckless maniac.” Abigail crosses her arms.

“Okay, maybe not so long,” Raelle admits.

Scylla frowns, unable to stop herself from brushing a few strands of blonde from Raelle’s face. “You should really get yourself checked out.”

“I’m fine,” Raelle protests. "Everyone's overreacting."

“Raelle," Scylla says, immediately grabbing Raelle's attention with her use of her first name. "Come with me. Let’s get you fixed up.”

The corner of Raelle's eyes crinkle in a pleased smile. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” Abigail huffs as she turns to leave. “Get her out of my sight, Ramshorn, before I kill her myself.”

Scylla leads Raelle back to her office near the morgue. Thankfully, it’s late enough that it’s empty. Dr. L’Amara had left hours before.

“Sit and wait here,” Scylla orders.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re hot when you’re bossy,” Raelle says, wincing as she lowers herself in a seat in front of Scylla’s desk.

Ignoring Raelle, Scylla enters the exam room to wet a washcloth, retrieve an ice pack from the freezer, and collect a first aid kit. When she returns, she sits in the chair next to Raelle and hands her the ice pack. Raelle presses it to the side of her head with a sigh.

Scylla begins cleaning the blood from Raelle’s face with gauze soaked with a saline solution. Although she takes extra care around Raelle’s wounds, she still winces in pain. 

“You really don’t have to do this,” Raelle insists, pink tinging her cheeks. 

“And you really don’t have to be reckless,” Scylla says, uncapping a tube of triple-antibiotic ointment, squeezing some on a cotton pledget, and applying it to Raelle’s cuts. “But here we are.”

“I’m not reckless,” Raelle insists as Scylla takes the ice pack so she can examine Raelle’s scalp. 

“Right, that’s why you’ve got a lump the size of a softball on your head.” Scylla’s fingers skim across Raelle’s braids, gently outlining a hematoma.

“Someone had to step in,” Raelle says with quiet conviction. “It was the right thing to do.”

Scylla bites back a lecture. It’s not her place to chastise Raelle or tell her how to do her job, even if she can’t quite shake the worry that’s weighing in the pit of her stomach. Instead, Scylla hands back the ice pack, picks up an otoscope, and shines a light into Raelle’s eyes. One pupil doesn’t constrict, confirming Scylla’s suspicions. 

“You have a concussion,” Scylla turns off the light.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Scylla sighs. “You should rest, but it'd be better if you stay up for a few hours.”

“You know, I might need some help staying up. What do you say, Doc?” Raelle waggles her eyebrows and Scylla can’t help but laugh because Raelle’s incorrigible .

"In your state, I doubt you'd be able to keep up with me," Scylla lightly teases. It’s not flirting, she tells herself. It’s harmless banter among colleagues.

"I like challenges." Raelle’s blue eyes are serious now, no longer joking, and Scylla finds she can’t breathe. Or look away.

"Collar!” Anacostia barks from the doorway, startling them both. “In my office. Now!"

"Some other time then,” Raelle says with a small smile before she leaves.

When she’s gone, Scylla slumps back in her chair, hand resting on her chest, wondering what in the hell she’s doing.

#raylla #motherland fort salem #mfsweek #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #non-magic au #a bit of an homage to rizzoli & isles too

[notthefilmreview]

So...I’m obsessed with NEVER HAVE I EVER now and I’m not mad

Hey it’s Dana and I’m procrastinating my school work (because even the lockdown can’t stop my teachers from giving me work - how great!) so I’ve decided to watch a bit of the new Netlfix series NEVER HAVE I EVER which (after a google search) I found out is created by Mindy Kaling!

(However, by the time this post goes up I’ll probably still be procrastinating but for a whole different set of school work! Yay for me, I guess!)

I actually really have no idea what it’s about except for the fact that the title is a game I used to play with my friends to find out some gossip about their love life and vice versa which was often uninteresting because we never really had much to say. In conclusion, American High School romances have lied to me all my life about games like Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever (it’s either that or me and the people around me have just lived fairly uninteresting lives...sounds plausible).

Anyway, read on to read about me reacting to NEVER HAVE I EVER the series for the first time!

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate how pretty Devi is; her hair is goals; orange is her colour; she has such a cute smile; she is thriving! 

Also, I do love the religious diversity and the Indian representation.

Hahaha! Okay this first scene is quite funny and the arm hair thing is so relatable if you have dark hair; I envy people with lighter hair!

But, what is it with people and always wanting to be invited to parties??? They’re seriously not that fun and I often leave with a headache and an empty stomach. At first, they are quite entertaining but after a while (when you’ve told every single story about what you did in your summer holiday and stuff about your dog) you’ve run out of things to say and just awkwardly stand there until someone - and there is always someone - finally mentions school and now you’re that group of people talking about school because there’s nothing better to talk about. Or maybe that’s just my experiences with parties - I don’t know (I haven’t been to many lol).

Hey, that’s Mona from DC’s Legends of Tommorrow!!!! Omg! is this why she left the show???

Ahhh and Devi is not only a Hindu and an Indian-American but she is also a wheelchair user - Mindy is out there just trying to give everyone all the representation we need!

Oh - so she managed to walk again after trying to see a hot boy’s chiseled jawline behind a car? Hmmmm...seems plausible.

I’m also getting a really 80s vibe that seem quite common in Netflix movies and tv shows (like Sierra Burgess Is A Loser) but I know it’s meant to be in the 21st century.

Lol I’ve never heard that before but it made me choke on my food. Imagine people bullying you and calling you the UN - the political slander, the international slander. Omg I love this show so much.

I don’t really thinkl Devi should care if Ben thinks she’s unbangable because she is only 15 so she doesn’t exactly need to have banging as her number one priority.

Yassssssss strut queen!

The heels things is extremely relatable; I’m already a clutz while walking in flats but when I put on heels I’m falling all over everywhere (you should’ve seen me dance at my Year 11 Prom lol). Devi is wearing really high heels - I seriously could never so good for her!

So Paxton just says yes to having sex with her? What? Is this how it works? Is it that easy? 

I’m so confused.

So I’m thinking that maybe there’s something more to Paxton than meets the eye. Maybe he’s a shamed virgin (which isn’t really as much of a problem as Hollywood tries to convince us) or maybe he might do a 360 and publicly shame Devi.

What I know, is that Paxton might end up having feelings for Devi after this (because this is how romance works, guys). Also, Devi might back out of having sex with Paxton.

So we’re onto episode 2 which is titled “...had sex with Paxton Hall-Yoshida”, making the title make more sense to me now.

Devi is casually just reading After which coincidently is also on Netflix (marketing strategies?).

*Love is in the air* (I was waiting for LGBTQ+ representations and I know this may cause some conflict with Devi’s plan for them all to get boyfriends butttttt in the long run, once Fab comes out to the gals they’re all going to accept her - at least I hope).

That blonde girl is too cute with her pixie hair cut omg I already love her so much and I haven’t even heard her talk.

This is the only love at first sight that I accept (this and The Half Of It, of course).

(Also the blonde’s eyebrows are beautiful; I want them so much).

This is the guy from Supergirl who played Lena’s old scientist boyfriend (and ruined all our lesbian Lena backstory but I did like him as a guy).

I like how Devi’s PTSD over her dad’s death is really being explored slowly.

Also, I knew that Devi would back out of having sex with Paxton and why does she always get cuts on her on her legs? is this symbolism? to do with her leg? and her mental state? am I reading too far into this?

Let Kamala be the beautiful biologists she deserves to be without an arranged marriage with a man whose family just wants her to be a wife.

We also shouldn’t forget how Devi’s mother’s feeling after her husband’s death. She may seem so strong on the outside but we all know she’s breaking on the inside and I hope that her and Devi can have a heart-to-heart about that.

Personally I think the blue ones...

Awww I think Paxton’s sister (Rebecca) and Devi are going to become good friends and I’m excited to watch it happen ahhhhh!

I’m thinking that Ben and Devi are going to become friends which would be quite sweet considering their rivalry.

Ohhhhhh Kamala has an asian boyfriend??? I’m officially attached; we need to end this arrnaged marriage; she needs to be with her boyfriend.

Awwwwww this is beautiful. I love Devi’s mum so much, she deserves love and attention.

Okay so we’ve now met a more human side to Paxton with him explaining that he’s been quite protective of his sister ever since she was adopted. And they’re not going to have sex (even though Devi told her friends that they did have sex) which is really going to cause major conflict.

Anyway, I should probably actually do some work now so bye!

MAJOR EDIT: So it turns out that I did work for about half an hour then decided to watch the rest of the season without reviewing as I go (because I was even lazy to do that lol). I did not think that I would actually finish the whole season in one go; I thought that I would just watch the first couple of episodes until it felt too awkward to watch the rest. Nevertheless, I watched the rest of the the season and I already want a new season to come out so badly!

Firstly, let’s deal with Paxton. 

So I thought that Paxton would make a massive U-turn and start being less of a douche (as his sister Rebecca - who is just so deadpan with him that I just love her more and more - puts it) and more of a sweetheart who has some type of depth to him. Yes, he does seem to have depth in the way that he’s not just some hot guy on the swim team who’s always mean to everyone because he is usually nice and doesn’t forwardly go out of his way to bully anyone (and I also give points for the fact that he is half asian and not a nerd because we need our dumb asians to replace London Tipton in our hearts). 

The problem is that I’m just confused about him. Why does he always come to Devi’s aid whenever she’s in trouble? What is his purpose? Why does he turn up at her doorstep when she doesn’t answer his text messages? 

I’m particularly confused (and also extremely worried) about that last question because it’s just weird and uneccessary to turn up to someone’s house when they don’t answer your messages. Maybe I would have let him off if he did it once but this guy does it soooooo many times that it’s started to become a bit creepy. Like chill. Seriously. Not everyone is constantly on their phone to text you back instantly and sometimes I’ve even not answered for a couple of days but you don’t exactly see anyone knocking at my door like “hey, Dana, answer my texts - I wanted to know what fucking ice cream you like”.

Basically, it’s just creepy and I feel as though they’re trying to use that to use that as him essentially developing feelings for her but now he needs to lay off because Devi’s got her eyes on Ben now.

Okay so Ben is what I’m excited for now. The next season will most likely focus on their love triangle and maybe devlop Paxton more to possibly make us really confused on who Devi should choose. Personally, I think she should choose Ben at the end of the day. 

Ben started off as Devi’s nemesis and I never really paaid much attention to him at the start because I thought he would just be there for a bit of comedy and to push Devi out of her comfort zone. It turns out that he has pushed Devi out of her comfort zone, in a different way of course (but when they kissed and the camera started panning down I thought they they were actually going to start having sex and I was like omg, whoa, I shouldn’t be watching this but also it would kinda be fulfilling to see Devi choose to have sex with this guy who actually wants her and actually likes her in that moment, fully forgetting about Paxton - it was actually just panning down to another call from Paxton).

I did see a glimmer of something between them but I thought it was just going to be a friendship to add to her group but I’m not mad at how it actually ended.

I feel as though we as the audience will route for Ben more because of that episode that completely centered him, which showed us just exactly how hard Ben’s life is. It was this episode and the Model UN episode that made me think that they might make this a thing (and there was also the fact that he tried to kiss her twice at his house).

It’s also an added bonus that Devi’s mum thinks so highly of Ben because it means she probably won’t have to hide him from her. While, yes, dating a guy who your mother doesn’t like (such as Paxton) is a symbol of rebellion and thriving outside of your family’s hold sometimes it’s not the right option if they turn you into someone completely different. Ben and Devi have this relationship in which she can be her complete self around him and not have to hold anything back or do anything in order to please him. They challenge each other, trust each other (especially with Ben driving her all the way to Malibu and STAYING), and understand each other to a level that Paxton just can’t seem to relate to.

Kamala’s breakup with Steve seemed really out of the blue with her really trying to stay away from an arranged marriage, to plain falling for the guy on the other end of the arranged marriage. Although she did say that she doesn’t want to marry yet I’m still really confused on why she dumped Steve but told Prashant that she likes him. I feel as though it would’ve made a bigger impact if she told both guys she didn’t want them and wants to focus on her aspiring career as a biologist.

I say that but I do see the sparks between Prashant and Kamala with them having a lot of things in common.

I want to end this fairly long review of the entire season 1 of NEVER HAVE I EVER talking about this girl right here, an absolute legend, a queen, the girl who wear a white suit to a sleazy high school party: Fabiola.

This girl is such an icon and her gay panic after summoning (yes, summoning) her whole family to tell them she’s gay (only to end up telling them she switched from AP French to AP Latin) made me both laugh so hard and feel so much pain for her.

When she finally told her mum that she was gay, I panicked. I had to mentally prepare myself to watch this woman shout, cry, question - even disapprove - of her daughter. Instead, what we got was a mother who accepted her daughter and told her that she’s only ever wanted to make her happy. It just made me realise that all that time her mother spent trying to get into her daughter’s love life (after thinking she had a boyfriend) was her version of trying to bond with her daughter and understand her and basically just be a mother.

Well, you know what, she is doing a great job as a mother and I’m so happy for Fab because I know when her mother finds out about Eve (if she hasn’t already) she is going to try and get all the gossip from her daughter and try so hard to take her shopping for clothes that’ll make her look good for dates with Eve (and I am thriving for this).

Her mother’s approach almost reminds me of the mother from Ackley Bridge (if anyone knows that show) who tried to get to know what being a lesbian really is like for a girl by going to one of the most gay areas in the UK. That was just an iconic moment and if you haven’t seen Ackley Bridge go watch that because it’s really good (at first though, after a while it gets a bit trash and you’ll understand).

I hope that season 2 comes quick (but it may not be for a while) and fingers crossed Ben and Devi are endgame, Kamala sorts out what she wants in life, Eleanor finally has a stern talk with her mum, and Fab and Eve finally become official (unless they are already) and we see a story more focused on them.

#never have i ever #netflix #movie commentary #series commentary

[fan-girly-girl]

Boh

Chapter One: I Feel Like Chet

Summary: 

Boh /boh/ noun, Italian slang word 1. Telling someone you either don't know or don't care about the person's question or situation. Commonly used in Italy.

"Boh!" 

"W- what?" Said a confused Peter. 

"It's my new superpower. It's like I was born to say this word." MJ's intrigued eyes then trailed down to the cute gift bag clutched onto Peter's hand as if he was hiding an engagement ring for her and was about to propose. Not that that's what she had in mind. At the moment. "So... what's in the bag?" She asked curiously. 

"Oh, uh... boh." Peter shrugged casually. 

MJ hummed at his cleverness. "Nice." 

MJ was the type of person to not give a shit about people's business. And discovering the word, "Boh," gave her an advantage to let other people know that. That is if they speak Italian. Or if that person is Peter Parker, who already learned that phrase from the one and only. Although, for a super honest pessimist, MJ would never mean to use the definition of boh when it comes to Peter Parker on her mind.

A/N: All characters belong to Marvel Studios and this is my first fic since 3 years, so hopefully it's way less crappy than the ones I wrote in middle school because ngl they were shitty af. Anyways, enjoy!

The Italian word, "Boh," generally means, "I don't know," or "I don't care." That was all MJ thought about whilst making use of her new "superpower" after obtaining it from Italy. It was very effective on strangers who were possibly trying to hit on her with cheesy pickup lines. Well, she didn't know if they were either pickup lines or were just asking her for directions in Italian while giving her goo-goo eyes. Either way, boh was the best way to make all of MJ's minor problems go away. And by minor problems she means people.

Boh made her demeanor more self-explanatory, since she's always known to be shamelessly honest and direct with people. Unless if one of those people was Peter Parker. No matter how many times he undoubtedly bails out on his friends because of his "Stark internship" or immediately freaks out when he sees Brad breathe in MJ's direction, boh would never describe how much she really did care about— scratch that— loved the way he adorably acts like an idiot.

MJ wondered if that time she got that $70 Black Widow themed phone case for Secret Santa was from Peter, since:

1) There was no one in the math club who told her who her Secret Santa was for some reason.

2) Peter was absent on the day of Secret Santa, so that could mean he couldn't have the time to tell her that day because he had to save New York or something like that. But then again, a few other people were absent too.

3) Even if Peter couldn't tell her on Secret Santa, he could at least tell her the next time he saw her again at school.

Which then left MJ with one conclusion: Peter was too shy to tell her it was from him because he was the only person who heard her say that Black Widow was her favorite hero and there was a possible chance that why he would be too shy to tell her so soon was because he had a crush on her. But she could be jumping to conclusions, which made her sound like a hopeless romantic afraid of commitment.

(A/N: Shout-out to my girl mxmtoon, who you can find one of her songs from above ^ and more on Spotify and Youtube and also Tik Tok if you're into that kind of stuff.)

MJ still kept the Black Widow phone case on her Stark phone and sometimes even cherished it when people thought she wanted to be anti-social with her phone. Even though the red hourglass symbol printed on it was so scratched out that it only looked like a black phone case with bloody scratch marks from some crazy, wild animal, like a bear or a wolf, or a wolverine. Hell, it could even be a symbol of the mutant, Wolverine, himself. MJ would have thought of that new concept as the more the merrier, because she usually likes it when some things are broken. And as out of topic as this sounds, she'd sometimes have these weird dreams of her and the Wolverine in another universe where she worked for him as one of his acrobats while he ring mastered in an old-timey circus. She even had no problem with that because she got to sing while sky dancing with some guy who reminded her so much of her childhood crush, Troy Bolton, from High School Musical.

Anyway, if having MJ's special Secret Santa gift remind her of her random visions, then the gift itself wouldn't feel so special to her anymore. And it wasn't only because one of her idols were no longer represented on a piece of technology.

Or represented through a public memorial like Iron Man. I mean, she took on her life to save the universe too, so where's her funeral? MJ randomly complained to herself.

It was also because she thought it would have upset Peter a little bit since she knew how much he spent on it. Which was really uncharacteristic of her to care so much about letting someone down, as the girl who is obsessed with telling the truth when she knows how much it could hurt someone's feelings. But why should a phone case make her worry about being validated by a high school loser who just happens to have a personality bound to give someone cavities with a head of cute and fluffy clumps of chestnut hair and a chiseled jawli- Oh my God, please stop it with whatever you're thinking about right now! MJ mentally scolded at herself.

She couldn't be falling for him too. And why would she add the word, "too"? How would she even know if he likes her back? Why should she even care? Since when does Michelle Jones ever care about one's perspective on her? Boh. She then remembered the lucky phrase and took a deep breath and remembered why she procured it. It was more helpful when Ned came to stop her off-of-the-railed train of thoughts by asking her some irrelevant question about which locations in Venice are more romantic to spend time with Betty.

Responding with a careless tone like usual, MJ shrugged and said the Palazzo Dario, also known as "the house that kills." According to what MJ Googled before the trip, Palazzo Dario was a famously haunted house in Venice that had a history of murders, suicides, accidents and bankruptcies of people who have ever been associated with the house. Of course, she told Ned that information just to let him know that she was messing with him. Also because she doesn't want to risk some of her friends being cursed by a suicidal ghost of the builder's daughter, despite her statement of not believing in ghosts.

"Come on, I'm pretty sure you Googled more than just Top 5 Haunted Places in Venice." Ned says.

"And how would you know that?" MJ raised her eyebrow suspiciously and out of habit.

"Peter told me he saw you also look up some romantic areas of Europe in the library last week."

Peter saw that? And was so interested enough to tell Ned about it? MJ thought in sudden intent.

She wondered if she should be either concerned or a little hopeful of having Peter as her vise-versa stalker. But then, Ned suddenly looked nervous and regretful as if he wasn't supposed to tell her about Peter possibly stalking her.

"I- I mean, like 'cause, um..." Ned stammered. "E- everyone knows you like to look up weird stuff on the internet and... Peter thought it was weird of you to look up something unusual for someone like you."

Now MJ raised both brows in utter suspicion and slight offense by Ned saying someone like her. "So is he, like, spying on me?"

"W- whaaaat? Pfft, no, he... he's just... uh, very observant, you know?"

Hmmm...

Flashback

Present

Copycat. MJ mentally scoffed. "And why would Peter observe me out of all people?" She tried her best to sound cool and witty about it but it was so hard not to sound so desperate because of the fact that Peter knows her favorite superhero and he was very intrigued of her internet history in a non-creepy way.

Now Ned looked like he knew he was going to be a dead man. "Um... boh?"

And now Peter told Ned her new catchphrase.

"It's an Italian phrase I learned by myself." Ned lied, assuming that MJ didn't know the meaning of the word. "-And not from Peter, if that's what you're asking."

"Why would you think I'd assume Peter taught you that?" She hummed in suspicion.

"No reason." Ned smiled nervously.

Everyone loves you to death, Ned, but you can be a really bad liar. MJ mentally sighed while hiding a soft smile. She was still glad that people, like Ned, considered her their friend no matter how many times she claimed that she has none.

Before MJ could lightly interrogate Ned some more, Betty stepped in, interrupting the conversation, and asked him to take some pictures of her by the gondolas. MJ wanted to get her hopes up into thinking that Peter did like her, but when you're known to be the high school bookcase and anti-social pessimist, it's hard to believe that anything can happen.

Maybe the real reason why Peter didn't tell her about the phone case was because he was too embarrassed to let anyone think he was going to spoil the emo girl out of traditional rules based on a Christian holiday. And maybe during the times he saw her do anything uncharacteristically weird, he'd tell Ned about it just to make fun of her behind her back. And the "boh" thing was probably all the more to make fun of her— Wait a second, Peter would never make fun of people who are less weaker than him! Or anyone in general. Not even Flash or Brad.

Her realization thankfully snapped her out of her light panicking. God, she never felt this insecure since Peter's old obsession with Liz. And it was a long-ass phase that both Peter and MJ had to suffer through because of their oblivious love triangle. Now that MJ realized it, "boh" was not really a superpower. It was a repellent. But not a repellent to keep people away. It was more like a repellent made to keep MJ away from getting the chance to have a happier social life.

#marvel #marvel cinematic universe #MCU #Marvel MCU #spiderman #spiderman far from home #peter parker #mj #michelle jones #peter x mj #peter x mj far from home #peterchelle far from home #ned leads #tom holland #zendaya #jacob batalon #fluff #fanfic #mxmtoon #i feel like chet

[note-katha]

Evenfall Chapter One

Alright, according to my notes, it’s just about time for the story to begin. Now, before we get started, we should review some very important things.

What we discuss while this story unveils you might want to keep secret. You could tell people, but then I’d tell you to expect more than a few weird looks and questions about your mental stability. If that’s what you were aiming for, go ahead!

I personally find that keeping the ongoings of Everless a much more favorable (and easier!) solution.

Secondly, I hope you don’t find yourself at a loss with all the information the story requires, I understand that there’s quite a bit you don’t know, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn! Learning is very important and you can count on me to be a wonderful teacher!

So, without further ado, let’s begin!

The Melpomene dorm was the school’s oldest dorm, the first one built and the smallest to boot. It wasn’t used as often as the other dorms, only really being used if there were too many students. Or given to a very particular type of students, which was quite rare but not unwelcome. Usually.

For one reason or the other, Kalavathi, Juli, and Ardis found themselves assigned to the dorm, taking residence alongside six others.

Taking the other suite on the single floor of the dorm was a quartet of second-year students who seemed very...odd.

While we know that there is much more to the world than humans, these people seemed to barely pass as such.

Oh yes, and filling out the fourth slot in their room was a girl named, hm, really? One moment, let me check this.

Right, yes, yes, that’s actually her name? Wow.

Filling out the fourth slot in their room was a girl named “Mary Sue”. Yes, really. I can’t believe it either.

The final person in the dorm was their “RA”, resident advisor. A relatively charming demon-type who rarely fit the assumed archetype for demons. Don’t let the horns fool you, they’re very nice. You see, however, the problem with demon names is that they’re written and pronounced in a script which is also used in magic, usually demonic specific magic. It’s not hard to say words in that script normally, but those not trained to know the difference usually face some problems.

Their name will damn any normal human that attempts to say it to another realm in which no one has ever been able to return to, so when I tell you, don’t say it out loud.

It’s Tattvagyega. They usually go by Tatti or Cels. They visit me frequently and we talk about the people trapped there. Cels visits them to apologize and bring snacks. They make a mean sugar cookie, you should try them one day.

Apologies, that was off-track, let’s focus on our main trio, yes?

Kalavathi was the first, as usual, to arrive. “So, this is my new home,” she thought aloud, as she was prone to do. “Could be worse,” she shrugged, pulling the school-provided luggage cart behind her as she walked up. Kal pulled the keys to the dorm out, this building is so old they have keys instead of cards, scary, I know. She unlocked the door, entering the quaint and warm building. She walked in backwards, in order to properly pull the cart in.

“Hello!” A voice called out to her, “Welcome! I’m your RA, Cels Ev’rals. You are?” Kal didn’t answer for a moment as she yanked the cart into the building.

“My name’s Kala—” she cut herself off with a panicked scream when she finally turned around. Cels was a demon, a Southern Demon to be exact, which meant deep red skin and curly, ram-like, horns. I can see why that would be a bit scary, especially for someone like Kal who managed to make it this far without realizing that Evenfall wasn’t normal.

Cels frowned, cocking their head to the side before glancing down. “Aw man, I forgot my glamour, didn’t I?” They, in fact, had but with a quick rambling recitation of their glamour spell, the young demon appeared far more human. A deep tan and messy brown hair replaced their demonic visage. “Better?” they asked.

Kal stared blankly for a moment, running through what had just happened in her mind. As rational as she usually was, she had had a sneaking suspicion that Evenfall wasn’t normal, one that was just confirmed. Taking into account that information she groaned. Quite loudly as she crouched to the floor.

Cels took a step forward, unsure how they could help.

“Kalavathi Nayri, I prefer Kal and I’m a Computer Science and Graphic Design double major.” She took a moment to regain her composure and stand. “On my acceptance, it said W, Creation. I have no idea what that means.”

“Oh, Creation Witch?” Cels offered, glancing at his list, “That matches up. You’re our only second circle. Nice.”

Kal opened her mouth to ask questions.

“Wait till orientation, they’ll explain better than I can.”

“Alright,” Kal nodded. “Nice to meet you, by the way, Cels,” she said, offering a hand to shake. Cels beamed as they accepted the handshake.

It was now that our second and third main characters finally managed to make their first appearances in considerably less fanfare than Kalavathi.

Ardis pushed the door open, scanning the room with a hesitant expression. Or, rather, it seemed like a mostly blank one, but that’s because Ardis isn’t the best at facial emotions. I can relate, Ardis, so don’t feel bad.

“Hello?” He called out to the two. “Uh, I’m here to move in?”

Cels waved, “Hello, welcome!” They took a few steps back, giving room for Kal and Ardis to adjust their carts, along with a third person, whom as previously mentioned, is Juli. “Welcome to Evenfall, if I can get you two’s names, I can leave you alone to unpack before your orientations.”

“Ardis Akiya-Blair, freshman Astrobiology major.”

“The Nature Witch,” Cels said aloud as they checked it off, “And you?”

“Juli Cárdenas Rivera Silva Vicente,” she answered without hesitation, “Major is currently undecided.”

“The Voice Witch, nice to meet you guys. Let me know if you have any questions! This right here,” they pointed at the entrance right beside the group, “is actually your suite. Four rooms, a full kitchen, and a common area. We’ll deal with rooming agreements tomorrow, you guys relax tonight and have fun at orientation.” Cels gave them a charming smile, as they were prone to do, smile before heading off.

“Uh, they’re not human,” Kal said as she faced the group. “Are you human? You look human but I’m not sure what to trust anymore.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m human,” Ardis nodded, “I found out about the magical thing, which might make me not human.” He shrugged, “My name’s Ardis, by the way.”

“Kalavathi, but you can call me Kal,” she answered on instinct, “Thinking about it now, I probably shouldn’t be that surprised that this school isn’t normal.”

“Yeah, I kind of just came because it was in-state for me. Magic was not expected,” Juli admitted, “Call me Jules, nice to meet you guys! We’re suitemates it seems, huh?” She grinned at them, “Then that means we gotta team up to figure out everything new we’re gonna experience.” Ah, fortunately, Jules was at the very very confident end of her confidence spectrum. Good, that’s going to help today.

There was a beat of silence and before anyone could speak, the door swung open.

“Of course, I get this kind of dorm,” someone groaned loudly as they entered.

Ah, yes, her. Mary Sue stepped into the building, her blonde hair tied up into a ponytail. A somewhat ridiculous expression of apparent irritation. Her scowl got worse as she looked around as if she had heard something.

She eyed the group, “Do you know where the RA is?”

The three pointed in the direction Cels had gone in. Without even any thanks, she walked off to find Cels.

Jules frowned lightly, but shrugged, “Hey, anyone have a preference about their rooms in the suite?”

“Let’s get into the suite first, then pick,” Kal offered, “We should head over for orientation afterward.” Aw, Kal’s trying to socialize. I’m so proud of her!

Orientation took place in the school’s amphitheater, the heart of Evenfall University’s campus and a typically beautiful place which students often used as a hangout spot.

However, now, as the sun was slowly beginning to set, students of all types that made up the freshman class were finding seats on the grass. Many whispering between each other, trying to figure out what was going on.

Not too long after our trio arrived, taking seats close to the stage, did they notice the two professor-looking adults milling about on the stage itself.

“What school does their orientation when it’s getting dark?” Kal murmured, “On top of that, what school makes their freshman wait until the day after orientation to sign up for classes?”

“It’s certainly weird,” Ardis nodded, “The school’s seemingly pretty well functioning, so I don’t think there’s much cause for worry.”

Before Kal could respond, there was a small commotion. The two professors scrambling off the main stage before an explosion of smoke erupted and spilled out of nowhere.

Lights were the first thing visible. Shapes on the grass, ones that began to light up everywhere.

A line within a triangle within a square within a pentagon, all starting from the very top of the pentagon with a small dot in the center. Ah, yes, the Five Circles of Magic! A lovely symbol.

Once the smoke dissipated, there stood a woman, brightly smiling and illuminated by the sigil beneath her feet.

“Welcome to Evenfall University!” The woman waved, “My name is Suvati Kair and I’m the Dean here at Evenfall.” Ah, yes, Suvati. Her flair for the dramatics will never end, it seems. “I’m sure many of you have questions, so allow me to explain.” With a flick of her wrist and a recitation of something that wasn’t exactly English, lights began to flicker to life around her, fifteen to be exact. “It might come as a surprise to some, though I imagine at least a few of you have figured it out, but Evenfall is home to one of many magical universities devoted to providing a place of education and safety to all students. We also work to find students with Nevermore heritage or magical background in order to educate them on their identity and abilities.” She pointed at one of the professors, “Dr. Avali here will take over to discuss the basics of what Nevermore and Everless are.”

Dr. Avali, an Angel, and not exactly the type you’ve read about, though I can see why you’d think that, with the fluffy white wings and all, took center stage.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Alex Avali, I’m a professor here, I teach a variety of mathematics classes along with the Angelic Educa class here at Evenfall University,” he began, his voice managing to ring throughout the amphitheater yet remain soft. He’s using a vocal enchantment charm, to explain. Alex loves those things, he doesn’t have to raise his voice for people to hear him. “We’ll start with what is Everless. The answer? This.” He waved his arms around, “Here is Everless. This town, this country, this continent, this world, this solar system, galaxy, universe.” Dr. Avali listed.

He glanced around, not seeing enough understanding in the students. I know I could explain it far better, but he continued. “We are the other side of the pond, but I don’t mean across the pond. Everless is the place when you jump into the pond and emerge on the other side. The other side to us is Nevermore, the birthplace of magic.”

Kal leaned forward, entranced. She didn’t need to spare a glance to her new roommates to know that they shared in her wonder.

Taglist, asked to be added or removed: @spacebrick3, @no-url-ideas-tho, @arynneva, @superwaywardangel, @likeicarusifall @aschenink, @writing-for-the-batfam, @ekrizdis, @wiccanchester

#notetalking #note writes #my writing #writing #project: evenfall

[bookishreviewsblog]

V.E. Schwab: A Darker Shade of Magic (Shades of Magic #1) | Lara

Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black. Kell was raised in Arnes—Red London—and officially serves the Maresh Empire as an ambassador, traveling between the frequent bloody regime changes in White London and the court of George III in the dullest of Londons, the one without any magic left to see. Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they'll never see. It's a defiant hobby with dangerous consequences, which Kell is now seeing firsthand. After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. She first robs him, then saves him from a deadly enemy, and finally forces Kell to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure. Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

"You know so little of war. Battles may be fought from the outside in, but wars are won from the inside out." I saw reading recommendations something like "Refreshing take on magic" and that was the exact same thought I had while reading this book. Above everything, the most intriguing and fascinating thing about A Darker Shades of Magic is worldbuilding. There are four parallel worlds, each with a different take on magic and a city named London as its center. There is magicless Grey London, Red London where people believe in a balance between people and magic, White London, where people are draining magic in order to control it, and once, there was Black London. Kell is one of the last magicians that has the ability to travel through the worlds and maintain communication between them. The doors between those worlds used to be open, but when dark magic started to destroy Black London, other cities started to close their borders in order to stop darkness from leaking. That was 300 years ago, and no one has heard of Black London since then. Despite the fact that I usually don't like concepts of parallel universes/multiple dimensions, Schwab's worldbuilding was refreshing and fun. There was no infinite number of universes because I hate when authors pull out a bunch of worlds with same people, just some details in their paths made them different. No, this felt like a book, with four pages that are independent but connected in a way. The worldbuilding and development of the story intertwined with amazing writing made this book easy to read while simultaneously adding just enough new information to keep story flowing and maintaining a sweet dose of mystery. Another interesting concept in this world is magic. I don't think I've ever come across such an original way to introduce magic. In author's vision of this world, magic is everywhere and in everything. It is a living force, and some people have more affinity, some less. Those four worlds are lined, Black London first and closest to "the source of magic", then White, Red, and Grey the farthest. In Red London, people believe in equality between magic and its users (Kell described his use of magic as a conversation between them), there it is worshipped to the point of it being a religion. Grey, being the farthest from the magic source, has used its supply of magic and it no longer exists there. In Black London, people let magic take control in order to gain power until it started to control and poison them. Seeing that, people of White London considered the only way of using magic is by controlling IT and being its master, so in their world magic started to pull back, and that world, too, is starting to die. It was really interesting to read about such different insights in magic and power and how it affects people and worlds. It was so well written, developed and described that I found myself thinking about correlations and consequences of human behavior over and over again. Although the plot wasn't at peak of the action at all times, story was always entertaining. Schwab has a simple way of maintaining the intensity, if not by action scenes, then by following the character development or some other factor, in a manner that keeps story flowing and interesting. Whenever there wasn't something super interesting or intense going on, I was like "uh this is going to be boring", but it actually wasn't disinteresting, just slower. That is in fact why I liked the writing style so much: the author has written this book with perfect timing. She knows just when to speed up or slow down the course of action – it is always intriguing, but understandable and well thought through. Story is told from a third-person perspective of two characters, Lila and Kell. I liked those two, but I didn't really love them. (I am writing this review after reading first two books and in the second one they were absolutely amazing and I would die for them, but in the first book they were not so cool xd). They were cool and I liked that author didn't give them any basic, cliché characteristic, like a hot troubled dick who is actually good underneath or beautiful shy girl that doesn't know it. Nope, Delilah Bard is 19, thief and cutthroat and learned to survive on streets of Grey London on her own. "I'm not going to die," she said. "Not till I've seen it.""Seen what?"Her smile widened. "Everything." She hated commitment and caring because she fears it can only be used against her. From time to time I found her annoying because she always throws herself in danger and wants "adventure", she is quite selfish, but aren't we all. Anyway, she is pretty badass and cool, always prefers black man's clothing and a good set of knives, and important! Was never described as pretty (why do all heroines have to be pretty). "I'd rather die on an adventure than live standing still." Kell, although seems ordinary, has a lot going on. He is a member of the royal family that rules Red London. Just a member, since they adopted him, for he is one of the two remaining magicians who can travel between worlds. Kell has everything he can wish for – wealth, love of king and queen and his best friend (and crown prince) Rhy. But still, he feels like a possession, just a symbol to show other empires the strength of Arnes. I like his character and there is a lot about his past to be discovered and I think he can only get more interesting (he did, ha!). Relationship between Kell and Lila was developed in a not-so-romantic-but-still-cute way, they both don't know what they feel, and tbh they don't feel anything towards each other until the end of the book. There are no love triangles, drama or something forbidden, it's just… complicated. *spoiler* that ending when Lila left was exactly what I needed. "He would see her again. He knew he would. Magic bent the world. Pulled it into shape. There were fixed points. Most of the time they were places. But sometimes, rarely, they were people. For someone who never stood still, Lila felt like a pin in Kell's world. One he was sure to snag on." As I said before, I already read the second book and it is really good. If you have doubts about continuing or starting these series, I wholeheartedly recommend them to anyone with a fondness for magic or adventure.

#books #bookreviews #v.e. schwab #darker shade of magic #shades of magic

[hulahoopingholt]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Live - Philly

Okay, so I was writing this mainly to share the full scoop with my frenemy @msjessicaday, but then I figured there might be some other people interested in hearing about it, so I’m posting it publicly for all to hear about the most amazing time I had on April 7, 2018 at the Trocadero Theatre in Philadelphia. This is MEGA comprehensive, so cutting for extreme length, but do read on if you want a play by play of the show, or if you want to hear how Smash Mouth and Sugar Ray made surprise guest appearances. 

Doors opened at 7PM, and we showed up around 5PM. There were probably about 20 people in front of us at that point. We were surrounded by a really great group of people who were SUPER entertaining and made time fly, thank god, because it was COLD and there wasn’t much to do, haha. People walking by seemed REALLY confused by why there was such a crazy (punny!) line, and when we said we were there for CXGF, most said they’d never heard of it. But then at one point a city tour bus drove by, and the guide looked over at us and said into his mic, “it’s a lot more nuanced than that!” It was fab.

It was general admission seating, and we managed to get 2nd row center seats, thankfully. (I say thankfully bc the theater frisks people as they enter, and so ladies had to line up on the left and guys on the right, which wouldn’t normally be a big deal but since this audience skewed so heavily female, guys from way back toward the end of the line were being allowed in before women who had been in the front of the line which feels like a MIGHTY PAINFUL BIT OF SYMBOLISM WHOLLY INAPPROPRIATE FOR THIS SHOW but I digress, because fortunately we had a guy in our group and we sent him ahead to grab our seats, haha.)

Okay I do have the set list so from here on out that’s what I’m going to refer to, but some of the asides/ad libs I may not have in exactly the right order because there was just a lot going on and my memory isn’t the best.

First off, you can see the first 10-15 mins of this show on Rachel’s Facebook Live but I’m still going to paraphrase what happened.

They started with Where’s Rebecca Bunch? Everybody except for Rachel came out and dramatically looked for where Rebecca could be! Gabrielle had Rachel’s phone out and was filming the crowd. She came around the front during the “the town is all atwitter ‘cause the whole town is on Twitter,” and that + the phone got a really loud cheer from the audience. Then Rachel popped out and was like “um, guys, I’m right here, I was just taking a dump in the scary bathrooms.” (Okay so I gather this whole bathroom bit is scripted but this theater REALLY DID have murder bathrooms, the ladies’ room was ALL this Pepto-Bismol pink, the stalls were a) made of what felt like plywood and b) were REALLY short, like I’m only 5′6″ and my head was WELL above the stall wow.) And then Scott was like “that’s just the song we sing whenever we can’t find you” and Rachel goes “um so you just burst into full band and choreo whenever you can’t find me?” So then they all agreed to start with the REAL opener, West Covina. It was really short, but fab. Highlights included Rachel singing “my life’s about to change...oh my fucking gosh,” and then when she got to “because I’m hopelessly, desperately in love with...” and then Vinnie stepped forward and just PREENED. Our audience LOVED him and cheered for him for a really long time. It actually seemed like they were ready to move on but we were all NOPE, WE ARE HERE FOR JOSHUA FELIX CHAN LET US HAVE THIS MOMENT. But then Rachel finished and instead of saying “West Covinaaaaaa” she sang “PHILADELPHIAAAAA.” And Donna Lynne just casually brought up that final note an octave or two and DAMN that is a talented woman. 

Then the rest of the cast left and Rachel did a welcome and said how excited they were to be in this historic city. The Trocadero is a rock theater, so she asked how many people in the audience were musical theater nerds and thus this was their first time in a rock theater. Only a few people cheered, so she said “ohhh, this is a pretty cool crowd. If it had been me, I would have [raised hand]. My first concert was Bette Midler at the Staples Center.” She introduced the band, which included Adam Schlesinger on piano and Jack Dolgen on guitar/bass. She said that women have been known to throw their underwear at Adam...and in fact, somebody in Boston had given them their dirty underwear, so we just had to be trashier than Boston. She then said women have been known to throw their tampons at him and mimed removing a tampon from her vagina and throwing it at him. She then said “that is terrible and classless, do not laugh at that joke.” Obviously we all laughed. Then she said “speaking of classless, let’s do a song.”

Song was Sex with a Stranger! Dance moves were appropriately raunchy. Girl was feeling herself, as she should. Highlights included “My name’s Jason.” “Shut the fuck up, Jason, I don’t care about your fucking name.” 

She then came back and asked if there were any children in the audience, because it was going to be on a full on sex show. (There was, in fact, one child in the audience, she was behind us in line, haha.) She brought out Vinnie (who walked out with TP on his shoe, oops?) and said “Vinnie...have you ever hooked up with someone in your life...I mean, have you ever hooked up with someone in your life...Vinnie are you a virgin?!” and then got back on track and clarified hooked up with someone you SHOULDN’T have, which then led into We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now. Yup, full on sex show. Lots of thrusting. It was fab and awkward and anything. Honestly, just watch the Facebook Live. It’s about 16 mins in. 

Vinnie then wanted to show off his West Covina hoodie that you can buy at merch. Rachel said he’s a really big fan of capitalism and therefore you should buy his hoodie. FUN FACT in the Facebook live when you hear Rachel say “and that gentleman is holding up a t-shirt,” that was my friend holding up the CXGF he had bought before the concert, BOOM RECOGNITION.

So then apparently Boston had an ASL interpreter, and they shared that Period Sex basically looks like holding up a pager to your face, then two bunnies fucking. So she then demonstrated “paging all bunnies...time to fuck.” Oh Rachel. 

Rachel then exited and left Vinnie on stage. He said he wanted to share something really personal with us, and when he was little he was super into martial arts and thought that was all he wanted to do, but then he saw a Gene Kelly film and that transformed him, and then he went from wanting to do this [martial arts move] to this [fancy Gene Kelly-esque dance moves]. And he talked about how excited he was to have this number in S3...yes, of course, I’ve Got My Head in the Clouds. Oh, but a great moment was before he started he took off his hoodie, and the audience went wild, and you could just hear Rachel from backstage go, “You all are thirsty. He just took off his hoodie.” LMAO WE HAVE NO SHAME IN OUR THIRST. But the number was great, and the HOLY GHOST came out and was AMAZING and sparkly. And then Vinnie said “let’s see who the Holy Ghost is tonight!” and it was GABRIELLE, who did a high kick and smiled and waved goodbye. (Sidenote, can’t remember when this happened, but Gabrielle was all about the high kicks and Jack would always do a drum hit when she did, and at one point made a crack about how Gabrielle never leaves the house w/o a drum set...to which she responded with another high kick.)

So then Rachel came back out and asked who was single, and made all singletons stand up and lock eye contact with someone, and then said “there, you know each other. Now go meet up for drinks afterward.” She then went into this whole bit about how, and she was totally serious, if anybody met their sig other at this concert, she would marry them at their wedding...but don’t think you could cheat the system, bc she would check up on you. She’d go through social media, interview you both, probably watch you have sex to see if you had chemistry...so honestly, is it really worth it? But then that led into Fuckton of Cats, which was amazing, and the whole cast came out with cat ears and they each had their own kitty personalities and it was just the cutest thing ever. 

Then at this point (I’m pretty sure at least) they said how they’d love to meet fans at the stage door, but their schedule is so tight they don’t have time to, so this was time for everyone to get their selfies. So then they posed facing each direction of the theater, like “okay, now this pose is how you’d look when the Eagles won! And now this is how you’d look if someone told you the Eagles suck.” NGL I got some pretty amazing pictures...

Also I can’t remember if this is actually when it happened, but I know the whole cast was on stage for it and it was toward the beginning, so I might be right...there was a center row reserved for cast comp tickets, and there were 3 empty seats. Rachel went “whoa, whose comps didn’t show?” And everybody was mumbling to themselves like “well my people are here.” So Rachel said “actually, those seats are reserved for our founding fathers. That one is Thomas Jefferson... and that one is Benjamin Franklin...and that one.....is Betsy Fucking Ross. Because everybody else is out there with their quills, and she’s like, you know what? I’m gonna sew a GIANT FUCKING FLAG.” 

Next up was The Math of Love Triangles. Rachel segued into it by saying she writes with two guys, so sometimes it feels like she’s in a love triangle. She was going back to flirt with the guys in the band...and when she was by Jack, COMPLETELY wiped out, fell right on her ass. But she kept going, so at first we weren’t actually sure if it was an accident or not. Still amazing. But then she got to the end and she couldn’t hit the high note...just raspy air. We cheered anyway. And she then said the cast has been getting really run down with the tour, and in other shows they’d been telling the audience that, but then Jack said it was a real downer, so she decided not to that night...and LOOK what happened. And Jack goes “yeah, well I also say things like...don’t fall.” ASJDKASLFJASLFD They just roasted each other CONSTANTLY it was amazing and honestly Jack is my new fave. 

Pete came out next, and Jack stood next to him on guitar as they did I Love My Daughter But Not in a Creepy Way. Pete was super earnest and made a lot of uncomfortable eye contact, and all the while Jack was making these “wtf this is so creepy” faces. ALSO there was a guy in the balcony right by the theater who dressed up like Darryl in Getting Bi, right down to the ‘stache, and Pete pointed him out and you could tell he genuinely loved it and said it was his favorite venue just because of that. OH BUT ALSO when Pete came out, he said “wow, Rachel, you’re looking very rock and roll tonight, all that leather.” She thanked him, and then he said “now you’re supposed to say something about me.” So she said “you look....exactly the same as you always do. It’s like the TV show Doug...you know when he opens his closet and it’s just all green sweater vest? Hmmm, which green sweater vest should I wear today? That’s like Pete...but with yacht clothes.” ASDJLKFNASFAK

Next up was Donna Lynne doing Maybe This Dream, and omg, that woman is a goddess. Seriously. That’s all there is to it. On a really shallow/superficial note, it became really clear to me that they frump her up on the show, because she is GORGEOUS IRL, and also a lot thinner than she looks on TV. But her voice...goddamn. She just makes it seem so effortless. Audience adored her and gave her a standing ovation because she’s magnificent and that’s just what you do in the presence of magnificence. But her niece was there and had just gotten engaged so she congratulated her and said “yay love!” before starting, it was so cute. (Jack, being a snarkosaurus, was like “oh they got engaged? And Donna Lynne said yes, and he goes “I don’t know those people.” AJSDKLASDNA)

Then was Women Gotta Stick Together. Gabrielle referred to it as “remember in S1 when Valencia was just always hangry...let’s go back to that.” Apparently normally during this song she comes into the audience and twirls people, but this stage didn’t have steps so she said “if I point at you, you better fucking dance.” Some people were a bit hesitant but overall people were into it and it was fab. Oh and when Gabrielle got to the line “so if some weird troll named Rebecca moves here from New York and is all up on my boyfrienddd” she turned to Rachel, who gave a tiny wave and said “hiiiiii” in that little voice, you know the one I’m talking about. It was adorable.

Back to the sex with Let’s Have Intercourse. Again, nice and raunchy. At the end Scott handed Rachel the condom and walked off stage, and Rachel asked who wanted it. Crowd obviously went wild, which led to her asking “you DO know it’s not a used condom, right? You’re acting like he personally used this condom...to be clear, this is an unused condom, still in its wrapper.” People STILL cheered, but then one woman in that balcony near the stage by Fake!Darryl shouted “I lost my job three months ago!” Rachel looked taken aback and was just like “whoa, okay, well ifI don’t give you this then I’m the asshole, here you go, take your unused condom.” There was a bit of an exchange trying to get the condom to the woman because it kept falling back down to the stage and Rachel joked about stopping the show so we could get this woman her condom, but alas, had to move on.

Rachel brought out Kabir Akhtar, who is an editor for the show and is from Philly. They talked about Philly for a bit (here). Rachel was also giving him props for being so great at editing and said how he fixes their acting and is so nice about it, because she’ll say “do we have a take like this?” and he’ll say “no, the actress was not in the mood that day,” or she’ll say “oh do we have a shot of my dancing from this angle?” and he’ll say “well the actress had some trouble with this choreography.” And he said “well it’s better than saying ‘ya did it wrong, bitch.” WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THEM CONSTANTLY ROASTING EACH OTHER?! and then Rachel said since he’s from Philly, she told him he could perform any song he wanted...he chose Where’s the Bathroom (here). Then Rachel said she forgot a prop so he had to kill some time...so he talked some more about Philly and then led the crowd in the Eagles chant. Jack was SUPER judgey and was like “I cannot believe a bunch of CXGF fans know ANYTHING about sports let alone care enough about them to know the Eagles chant” LMAO.

Rachel came back out and said “let’s do a song that makes me feel the opposite of how I feel about sports...which is interested,” which of course led into Strip Away My Conscience. Gabrielle and Vinnie joined her and it was appropriately sexy. Rachel tossed a thong out into the audience at the end. Alas, just slightly too far to the right for me to grab.

Then Rachel said there are really three types of guys...there are the Josh Chans, the Nathaniels, and the Gregs. And the problem with loving a Greg is how hard it is to have a relationship when they don’t love themselves. So then Jack came out and did I Could If I Wanted To. He changed a verse to be all about Philly, and it was HILARIOUS. It sounds like he changes a verse at most, if not all, venues to be about their current city, but at least some of this HAD to be improv, which made it even more impressing. He went on a rant about how everybody from Philly has to tell you that they’re from Philly, all you ever hear is that they’re from Philly, if he knows where a person is from they’re from Philly bc it’s all they can talk about, he doesn’t even know where his own family is from except for his Uncle Joe, who’s from Philly. And THEN he went off about how he STILL can’t believe a bunch of musical theater nerds care anything at all about sports or the Eagles or the Flyers, our faves are Miss Saigon, and honestly, I’m SO upset it wasn’t recorded because it was ACCURATE and hilarious and I’m in love. (Seriously Jack, please marry me, bye.)

Then everyone came out and Gabrielle announced it was the intermission and time to stretch, so we all stood up and did I’m So Good at Yoga. At first people weren’t really joining in and she said “no, this is no good,” and insisted we do the yoga moves. (But honestly it was really hard, there wasn’t much space.) Rachel was hilarious in this, basically reenacting the scene from the show. And then at the end the whole cast circled her mockingly while she was on the floor, and Scott ended his post basically thrusting his crotch in her face? And the entire cast burst out laughing and Rachel afterward was like “wow, if I had a nickel for every time Scott’s dick was in my face...I’d have one nickel because that has NEVER happened before.”

Oh also after this Rachel was like “you know, that line ‘I come vaginally...’” and went off on her PSA about how most women can’t climax from vaginal penetration alone and gave us extensive details about the wonders of the clitoris. But she acknowledged there were still going to be some guys in the audience going “no, my dick’s so good,” lmao. It was amazing and Jack was amusing here as well but I can’t quite recall what he said, except he expressed wonderment that nerve endings from the clit extend toward the anus in some women.

That led into the Horny Angry Tango. So they were using handheld mics the entire show, and at one point Vinnie and Pete came out to hold the mics in front of their faces so Scott and Rachel could do the dance and still sing. It was oddly comical. Also at some point here, can’t remember if it was before or after, someone in the audience shouted out “SCOTT I LOVED YOU IN ONCE UPON A TIME” and he seemed startled and said thank you. Rachel said “wow, that was like the equivalent of YouTube comment,” and Scott said “yeah, and I think I did the equivalent of liking it.” Then somebody called out “Rachel, they did a musical episode in S6, you should check it out, I think you’d like it.” Rachel said “okay, and that was an Instagram comment.” They then joked that they just needed someone to say “Come to Brazil!” to make it complete.

Then Adam did What’ll It Be and it was lovely and beautiful but honestly I miss Santino sigh.

Next was First Penis I Saw and i was a fucking delight. Donna Lynne is the cutest, Gabrielle and Rachel doing backup were delightful, and seriously, that song is just so much fun and seeing it live made my life complete.

Then, of course, we had Getting Bi. Pete came out and gave it his all, and the cast joined in with inflatable musical instruments. Scott did the sax solo on a kazoo held up to a mic. Digging it.

This is a random aside because I can’t remember exactly when it was said or why but I need to call it out. At some point Rachel was talking (honestly can’t remember to whom or what about, which is making me sad) and it was going on for a while, but then heckler Jack called out “what are we doing, recording a podcast?” And it was LOL seriously this man is my hero can he be onscreen in S4?

So then Rachel did I’m a Good Person and honestly, what else is there to say? It’s an amazing song, Rachel killed it, she made someone in the audience tell her she was a good person...god I just love this concert take me back please?

Then Rachel came out and said in a stage whisper “okay, I just don’t want the band to hear this. But we’re going to do what’s known in rock venues as an encore. So since for a lot of you this is your first time at a rock venue, an encore is when the band, let’s say Smash Mouth (here we all laughed bc wtf Smash Mouth? And she said it was the only rock band she could think of) finishes their set and they walk offstage to go shoot heroin up their eyeballs, and everybody in the audience goes NOOOO WE NEED MORE SMASH MOUTH and starts chanting SMASH MOUTH SMASH MOUTH, and so then the band goes okay we’ll stop shooting up heroin and do one more song, and so they close on All Star instead of Walking on the Sun. Okay, we’re gonna do that.” 

And then Donna Lynne came out to do Face Your Fears and did I mention this woman is a goddess????? Seriously her RANGE is phenomenal, she didn’t even break a sweat hitting any of those notes, her voice is just FLAWLESS and SHE IS A FLAWLESS QUEEN. She started off solo and then the whole cast came out wearing white choir robes to do backup behind her. And when she finished she got another standing ovation (of COURSE, Philly may be obnoxious but we know a little thing called RESPECT) and the cast literally got down on their knees and bowed to her AS THEY SHOULD.

Then there was an empty stage....oh no! But we know to do what we’re told! And started chanting... SMASH MOUTH. SMASH MOUTH. And we had a view of Rachel backstage then and she LOST IT, literally bent over at the waist laughing hysterically at us chanting for Smash Mouth. 

So Smash Mouth didn’t come out, BUT Vinnie and Scott did! They performed Fit Hot Guys. They stripped off their shirts to reveal t-shirts w/super ripped bodies drawn on them. They were doing their thing, and then who appears but PETE, wearing only fireman’s pants and a cap, his torso completely slicked up with what he told us later was Pam cooking spray. Vinnie and Scott were all “whoa what are you doing, have you even seen the show?” and Pete’s like “um YEAH HERE I AM” and got SUPER into it, and when they sang “without these pants” he stripped off his pants to dance in his American flag boxers. Anyway Pete is as pure as Darryl and I will protect him with my life. He also proudly stated at the end that he had just started working out this morning. LOVE.

We had the guys, so next up were the ladies doing Let’s Generalize about Men. The crowd just loved it, it’s such a fun song, and you could tell they were having a blast doing it, but I missed Vella. :( 

Then there was just Rachel. She spoke to us first (I think? I might be getting my order mixed up slightly here) and said how she had chills hearing us chant Smash Mouth, that it was the perfect mix of improv and flash mobs. So then some girl called out “Rachel, I have a question.” And she went “Wow, okay, that was so polite and direct, okay, what’s your question?” The girl then asked if they could do a song from Rachel’s Sugar Ray Jukebox Musical. She said no, they weren’t remotely prepared to do that...but then Adam started puttering around on the piano and Rachel was like “wow, you know some Sugar Ray?” Soooo that’s the story of how we had a brief singalong with Rachel Bloom to Fly by Sugar Ray, and yes, she did the dance moves she did in the video.

 Then we got to Stupid Bitch, which she said she knew everyone could relate to at some point in their lives. Right before the final note, she stopped, walked over to her water bottle, played up taking a looooooong drink of water, and then came back to center stage to hit that final high note. We were proud of her.

And then FINALLY, we closed out the night with Heavy Boobs. Rachel stripped off her shirt (she said we had earned it) and showed off her bra, which she said was a Natori. My friend shouted out that it was a great brand and Rachel nodded and agreed that it was a great brand. The entire cast came out midway with bras over their clothing to dance along with her...and that’s it! That’s the show!

Seriously it was beyond amazing. I didn’t take any photos/video other than the selfie moment since I was so close to the stage I thought it would be really obvious/obnoxious...I KIND of regret that just because I want to LIVE IN THE MOMENT FOREVER, but honestly, it was just SO MUCH FUN that I wouldn’t change a thing. It was more than 2 hours long and it felt like 10 minutes. I laughed SO much, and was blown away by all the crazy talent on stage. And I need them all to be my best friends. 

I know the tour’s winding down now, and tickets are all sold out, but seriously, if they do this again? Do NOT hesitate. Go. Just go. (Also maybe have a guy in your group if it’s general admission, really my best tip.)

Also if anybody was at Philly and remembers anything else PLEASE SHARE I AM TRYING MY BEST TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING FOREVER AND ALWAYS AND I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ALL YOUR RECOLLECTIONS AS WELL TO HELP WITH THAT EFFORT. <333

#Crazy Ex Girlfriend #Crazy Ex Girlfriend Live #Rachel Bloom #also I'm not even from Philly...my friends and I joke that we claim it for the good and disavow ourselves for the bad #but I could appreciate the fully Philly experience #you could tell the cast was having SO much fun and honestly that made it even better #okay now that I'm done my novel I'm gonna go #byeeee

[kimyonaelioiscreative]

A Queen’s Duty

This was supposed to be a short story based of This post by @lolo-loco but I got a bit carried away... Well hope you like it!

And a Extreamly big tank you to my Beta reader @ryuzakura!!

Summary: The Queen and King of Spades was just going to have a romantic dinner, but that was not what they got.

It was quiet in the study, only the sound of a fountain pen writing on parchment could be heard. If one listened really closely a faint hum and a small curse would break the peace on several occasions, but no one would be surprised, the Queen had a rather foul mouth after all. On more than one occurrence this habit of his had gotten the country in a pinch, but it usually got resolved after the King talked some sense in the Queen who would, very reluctantly, apologise to whomever had been on the receiving end of his inappropriate words.

A new sound reached the Queen's ears, three deep, but in the silence, sonorous knocks.

“Come in,” the Queen said, trying not to show irritation on his voice.

The door slammed open accompanied with a happy cry.

“Artie! you're back!!”

“It is Arthur, your highness,” the Queen answered without lifting his eyes from the papers in front of him.

“Aaw, are you still mad about yesterday?” the King asked, a pout now taking over his beautiful features.

“No, why would you think that?” the Queen anwsered, still not averting his gaze from his work.

“Because you called me ‘your highness’ and you only do that when you are mad.”

Silence.

“Listen, I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you!” the King tried.

Finally putting down his pen and looking up into the King's blue eyes the Queen replied with a serious tone.

“You missed our wedding anniversary, there is nothing you can do to make it up to me, Alfred.”

“I know, I know. Just… Please have dinner with me tonight. I know I have been busy lately so please” the King begged “I'll even cook it myself!” He added as a last try in persuade the Queen.

The Queen pressed his lips into a tight line and looked over his husband, trying to find signs of any implications.

“Fine, but it better be a good bloody meal or you are sleeping on the couch for a month” he finally replied. Joy spread through the King’s body and his whole face lit up like a sun. He fist bumped the air and the Queen started to already regret his decision, shook his head and got back to work. Before the pen even touched the parchment however, the King started talking again.

“Where were you earlier? I came here four times and you weren't here any of them!!”

“I was away for one and a half hour, reading in the garden” the Queen said, annoyed.

“But you've been away like that for weeks, months even!”

“Yes Alfred, it is something I do every day as I find it calming and soothing in our hectic days.”

“Oh... I see.”

Looking up again the Queen realised the King wasn't going to move and sighed.

“You have more work to do, I am not accepting that you can't make it tonight because you weren't done.”

“But it's boring! I'd rather stay here” the King grinned. A glare from the Queen made the earlier pout come back and he surrendered.

“Fine” he said, drawing out the i “Meet me in the dining hall at six o’clock.” He turned around and walked away.

“Close the bloody door after you!” the Queen shouted but too late as The King was already too far away to hear. Or he just ignored it. The Queen got up to close it but the Jack, Yao, entered.

“Your Majesty, there is something we need to discuss, aru” the rather short, brown haired man said and closed the door.

          *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

As evening came The Queen went to his quarters to change into something more appropriate for a late anniversary dinner. After rummaging through his closet he found what he was looking for: a white dress shirt, a blue vest, light brown pants, brown boots and a blue coat. To top it all off, he also put on a big white bow around his neck and a blue small top hat with a white sash around its base angled a bit on the side of his head. With one last look in the mirror he took his usual white short gloves and left for the dining hall.

It was quiet again, only Arthur's’ footsteps echoed through the castle. It was strange, it nagged at the back of his head but he refused to worry now, he was going to have a wonderful evening with his husband and he would not let anything get in the way, especially not his paranoia.

Growing up in the castle had its pros and cons and the paranoia was one of those cons.

In the Kingdom of Spades the successors to the King and Queen wasn’t decided by who their firstborn was but rather who had the mark. The future rulers and their Jack had an upside down heart with a triangle at the bottom, the symbol of spades, on their wrist. The size of it decided which role one had been tasked with, the King had the biggest, the Queen a bit smaller and the smallest one was the Jack. It was very rare that two from the same family entered the Royal court without the pass of three generations. The Prince and Princess, which was the titles of the Queen and King’s inheritors, moved to the palace at the age of ten to start their education. Arthur and Alfred were a bit special though. Arthur was the son of the previous King and Queen and had started his lessons at the age of five which resulted in him also learning about the King's duties. Alfred, on the other hand, had been a traveler and wasn’t found until five and a half years ago, at the age of eighteen. This was a problem since the late King had been dead for 5 years, assassinated during Arthur's 15th birthday celebration. The Queen and the Princess had worked double to manage everything in the absence of a Prince. It didn't take long however, before the Queen had been bedridden due to stress and Arthur had taken the full work load for three years before Alfred arrived.

Arthur shook his head, no point in thinking about that now. He had put up three different types of entrance wards at every secret door that led into the castle and a charm that would notify him if anyone was to come through. The known doors had guards guarding them so no one would get in that way either. He would know if someone broke in… Right? There was always a possibility. Trying to get away from the uncomfortable silence he hurried his steps.

He opened the beautifully carved, massive oak doors that lead to the dining hall. The sight he was met with was not what he was expecting, in fact it was just as normal. So much for making up for a missed anniversary. Alfred wasn’t even  there. The only thing out of the ordinary was five lit candles in a half circle on the long table. He walked over, careful so Alfred wouldn’t jump out from behind a curtain, but he got to the table without any trouble. In the middle of the half circle of candles, he found a note.

Hey Artie!! So I thought dining in the hall would be a bit boring so I’ve hidden. Here is a clue as to where I am, come find me ;)   During the day this place is always warm, and I might spend more time there than I ought. Go chat with the lovely staff and they might tell you my path.

Arthur knitted his eyebrows togrther but couldn’t help the smile gracing his lips, Alfred had remembered. Now where do Alfred spend more time than he ought to? It was obvious, the kitchen.

The kitchen was just a room away from the dining room and as soon as Arthur opened the door he understood what Alfred meant with it being warm. The stoves were on full and it was as busy as ever, servants were running all around obeying every order the chef shouted. When Arthur entered however, they all slowed down. The King regularly visited but the Queen… Usually that meant disaster and the Queen had learned to stay away. Without being bothered by the change in atmosphere he walked inside and over to the still shouting young man in front of the stoves that was the Chef, Leon.

“Chef Leon”  the Queen said to get his attention. It worked and he looked up.

“Your Majesty, is there something I can do for you?”

“Yes, have you seen the King?”

“He was here earlier today, told me to give you something, wait here.” As he went to get whatever it was, the Queen looked at the pots and pans in front of him. He did have the urge to bake something but he knew he shouldn’t, he had learned he had no cooking skills whatsoever when he was a child and had set fire to the kitchen on five different occasions. After that he had been banned from even touching anything in there.

“Don’t even think about it” Leon interrupted his thoughts. He held out a straw basket which the Queen took.

“You didn’t even work here when it happened.” the Queen sounded offended.

“No, but they warned me, and you are not destroying this kitchen.”

“Fine” the Queen sighed and looked in the basket for the first time. In it lay a bottle of cold champagne and a piece of paper.

“Well I have to go, thank you for this” He held up the basket and Leon nodded before turning around at the sound of a pot hitting the ground. “Idiot! Clean that up while I’ll start on a new one!” He shouted and sprinted away to get ingredients. The Queen turned away from the chaos and exited through the same door he entered though. In the small room outside, that only served as to cut out the sound from the kitchen, he took up the note to find out where to go next.

Yeay! You found me! Well, one step closer at least. Now, Fun and games belongs elsewhere, for in this room with pens and papers more serious things adhere.

The Queen looked confused at the note, that one was actually good, had he gotten help to come up with it? He thought about it for a moment but then decided to just appreciate the effort. Putting back the note in the basket together with the first one he walked to his study, which he guessed was where to go.

It was just as he left it, every book in the shelf, the papers in a tidy pile on the left and his pen on the right. No, wait his pen wasn’t there, instead there was a beautiful empty gold frame with a note stuck in the left bottom corner. Was it really that easy? He took the note and read it.

One more item acquired, good work! So I tried the riddle thing and it didn’t work out so I’m just going to send you one more place before saying where I am and screw riddles. Go get your favourite book and meet me in the garden.

The Queen laughed, riddles took some time to come up with and he knew the King didn’t have the patience for it, but it was quite fun and he was surprised the King had managed to come up with two of them. He took a handkerchief he had when he worked, put it around the picture frame and put it in the basket. Now his favourite book was a bit harder, there were so many! How could he possibly choose just one? He started to walk toward the library as he pondered. There was all of Shakespeare’s works, or Jane Austen but he couldn't ignore Harry Potter or the Grimm brothers’ stories.

He arrived in the library faster than expected and looked up at the two stories of almost filled 3 meter tall bookcases. He loved it in here, the smell of the books, the light from the glass ceiling and the feeling of utter peace. He placed his left hand on the first book and stroked the back while reading the name before going to the next one. Every book was in order, first sorted alphabetically by the author's last name, than alphabetically by the title name with the exception of when it was a series, in which case it was sorted in reading order. He walked around, reading title after title but not really finding what he was looking for. More than twenty minutes after deciding to start from A he stopped with his hand on Barrie, J.M. He took out the book and smiled fondly, memories from his childhood washing over him. Memories of him picking this book almost every night as good night story, finding comfort in the familiar characters when he was sad and sneaking away from his studies at times just to say hello to them. Peter Pan. He stroked the book while walking down the staircase in the middle of the library. The basket, which he had put down by the bottom of the stairs on his way up to the second floor, he picked up with his left hand when he got back down. He didn't want to put the book in it in case it got a scratch but when he came to the door he had to, as he had no hand to open the door with. He was careful when he placed it next to the wrapped frame but still worried.

As soon as he had walked through the door he picked it up again and after a couple of turns he came to the big double glass doors that led to the back balcony and garden of the castle. He opened them and was overwhelmed by all the sounds. Birds chirping, the water in the fountain splashing, the wind blowing through trees and bushes and crickets playing. He stepped out, his steps on the stone adding to the symphony, the breeze rustling his hair and flowers trying to charm him with their scents. At the end of the balcony,  near where stone became grass sat the King on a purple blanket, set with champagne glasses, plates covered with metal dome, to keep the food warm, and cutlery.

As the Queen drew closer he could see that the King looked a bit gloomy but when he turned around his face lit up.

“Artie, I didn't think you would come!” He stood, giving the Queen a full view of his outfit. He wore a similar outfit to the Queen but the coat was a lighter shade of blue and a bit different in design and instead of the white bow the Queen had, the King had a dark blue tie. He also wore a broadsword in a scabbard on his left hip, making it easy for him to draw it with his right hand.

“Of course I would come. You just gave me a rather hard quest” the Queen answered and held up the book. They hugged as the Queen got to the blanket.

“Which one did you pick?” the King asked as he offered his hand to help his Queen. The Queen stubbornly refused and rather gracefully sat down on the blanket, putting down the basket and book next to himself before answering.

“Peter Pan, but you already guessed that, seeing as you made a sort of treasure map for me.”

“You said you loved playing pirate and detective as a child and I thought why not combine them! What did you think about it?”

“It was absolutely fantastic, you couldn't have started it better. However I do wonder what we are going to eat” he said and gestured to the plates in front of them. A twinkle appeared in the King’s eyes and he dramatically said

“May I present the most exquisite food you will ever get to taste” and he took off the cloche of the Queen's plate. Under it was a greyish white glob, which the Queen couldn’t quite say what it was, with some sort of meat on top.

“Mushroom risotto with pesto filled chicken filet” the King smiled as he saw the Queen's confused face. Realization dawned on the Queen but quickly went on to skepticism as he was not certain he wanted to taste it.

“Are you sure? It looks rather… distasteful.”

“Hey, that’s not nice! I mean sure, it doesn’t look the best but it tastes great. Even Chef said it did!” The King answered with a pout.

“I guess I'll have to taste it in that case.” He picked up the silver fork, took up a bit and tasted it. The King watched in anticipation for the Queen's judgement. After what felt like ages the Queen finally nodded.

“It does taste a lot better than it looks.”

“Really?!” the King almost shouted in enthusiasm, bouncing up and down.

“Yes” was all the Queen said before taking another bite. The King mimicked the Queen and they ate in comfortable silence. After twenty minutes however the King couldn't keep quiet any longer.

“Sooo, there's something I've been wanting to ask you…” he fumbled and the Queen raised an eyebrow. “Well, these past years I've learned a lot and I mostly know what to do. Yao’ve been a great help. And of course you have but… What exactly is it that you do? I know you work really hard, I just never understood with what…” he continued and looked uncertainly at the Queen who looked thoughtful.

“The Queen doesn't have a lot of duties. However, I  still manage some of the King's responsibilities  due to our circumstances.” He said after a minute and continued. “I manage education throughout the country, making sure all children get to learn how to write and read, I manage the economy, making sure we don't spend more money on infrastructure or repairs, than we can afford. Outside of this I have a network of people, spies if you like, keeping me informed on what's going on both in Spades and other countries…” Now he looked a bit uncertain, not knowing if he should continue or not. The King's curious face managed to get him to keep going. “There is however something very very few know about and that is what the most important duty of a Queen is…” He got a distant look in his eyes and looked away.

“And that is… what? the King tried but the Queen held up a hand.

“Quiet”

“Wha-”

“Shh. Someone is coming” The Queen stood up and the King followed.

“You sure?”

“Yes, they entered through the northeast passageway,” he said before hurrying toward the castle, addressing the men posted at either side of the balcony door. “Guards, be prepared, someone is coming. I can't tell much about the person but approximately 195 cm in height.” The King followed, listening to the the Queen’s words, his sword out of its scabbard, ready to fight. They got in position with the two guards at the front, then the King and at the back, the Queen.

They stood there waiting, one minute, two minutes, three minutes before they saw the intruder. They were covered in black armor from top to toe, making it near impossible to distinguish any fact that could help them in the battle. The only thing they knew was they were tall and looked really muscular in the suit. They walked confidently through the corridor and was soon in front of the four. For a moment everything was completely still and quiet, before hell broke out.

Two fast swings from the sword and the two guards’ troughs were cut making them fall to the ground in a pool of blood, their armors making a loud cacophonous sound as they hit the ground. Before the King could think, the black Knight was right next to him but the Queen had been faster and put up a shield. The King stabbed at the Night but only hitting air as they had already moved. The Queen started mumbling spell after spell, helping the King in his attacks by making his sword stronger and helped protect him in his defence. He tried to shoot attack magic at the Night but to no gain as it seemed his armor was protected from magical harm. So he continued helping the King, who seemed to be having the upper hand with the aegis of the Queen.

The Night quickly understood that he had to take out the Queen first. They changed their tactics and started moving in a circle around the King. To their dismay the Queen was smart and saw through it and moved along the circle too. The Queen did not have much energy left, all magic had its price and battle magic was the most expensive. The Night gave up on moving in a circle and sprinted head on toward the Queen, dodging the King's blade and pushing him to the side, ready to strike the Queen down. What they hadn't counted on was the King's strength. He might not look like it but he was the strongest in the cavalry and wasn’t as affected by the push as the Knight thought. Right before the blade was going to hit the Queen, he pushed the Knight in the back, making him stumble forward, resulting in only the sword's hilt hitting the Queen. The force was nevertheless powerful and it knocked the Queen unconscious.

When he came to again the King was on the ground, blood running from his head, using his sword as protection with one hand on the handle and the other on the blade. The Queen unsteadily got up, taking one of the dead Guards’ sword and ran forward. He had almost no strength left but he knew what he had had to do. He had to fight, fight until he won or died trying, there were no other options. He slashed at the Knight, not even making a scratch. It was pointless really, but he had to get their attention away from the King. He made a jab toward the Knight whom now had their focus on the Queen. Then he sidestepped, parried and lunged again.

Repeating again and again he kept the Knight's focus on him but he didn’t get anywhere. He had to, or he would soon get to the point where he wouldn't be able to even lift the sword. He had analysed the Knight’s armor and found that there was nowhere he could do any damage, the parts imbricated each other. Although there was one way… When he had given the King's blade extra power it had damaged the armor, so theoretically speaking he should be able to give his own blade extra power and cut through the armor to make a weak spot. On the other side that would most likely drain all his power. But he had no other choice. He took a deep breath and started chanting. A blue light swirled around the blade making the Queen's face look grim and cold. One last parry and with all he had, he thrust the sword right into the stomach of his opponent making them fall back on the ground, blood seeping out from around the blade that stood right up in the air. The Queen breathed out and would have collapsed on the ground if the King hadn't caught him.

“Th- thank you, I'm fine” the Queen said weakly and pushed off the King's hands, but as soon as he had done that, he gasped in pain and fell to the ground, clutching his stomach. The King watched as if in in slow motion as the Queen fell and fury exploded inside him as he saw the Knight on one knee, blood dripping from his sword. The King acted without thinking, anger controlling him. Without problem the King went past the black sword and pressed the blade the Queen had left further, making only the hilt visible. The knight fell back, dropped his sword and gave up, but the King wasn't done. He pulled out the sword , angled it a bit and pressed it back in, turning the blade making the Knight scream before going limp. Just to be sure the King stabbed the Knight a few more times before throwing away the sword and rushing back to his Queen.

The Queen was in a bad shape, almost all colour had drained from his face, and he was only able to take short breaths at a time. The King kneeled next to him, carefully picking him up in his arms and starting to walk into the castle.

“Hey, it's okay now, it's okay. Stay with me.” The Queen's eyes fixed on the King’s and a weak smile formed on his lips.

“This” he said, just above a whisper, loud enough for the King to hear, before he closed his eyes and went limp.

   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

The country was in mixed state of mourning and chaos. Everyone wondered what had happened in the castle and rumours spread like wildfire. Alfred knew he had to do something, but what? The late Queen had told him, when he just became King, to trust his instincts, that he was born for the role of king and he would know what to do. Although now his instincts told him to crawl into a ball and hide as he cried, but he knew he couldn't do that, he had to take care of his people. But he was so scared. Scared of what could happen. He hadn't left Arthur’s side for the three days he'd been bedridden thus far and he would not leave him until Arthur himself forced him away, and he knew there was a slim chance that would happen and a bigger risk it wouldn’t.

The doctor visited twice a day to check on everything and change the bandages over Arthur's wounds. Everytime Alfred saw them he started to cry, he couldn't hold it in. It was his fault. His fault Arthur was lying there, pale as a ghost, fighting to stay alive. He had been so brave, to fight someone twice his size without hesitation. Fighting… that was what he had been practicing these past months when he disappeared. Alfred had of course known Arthur had lied when he said he was reading in the garden; he had looked for him there, and this was the explanation.

A soft exhale turned his focus back to reality and he turned to see a pair of half opened emerald green eyes. They skidded around, taking in where he was. A few blinks and another look around before they landed on Alfred. “Artie, you’re awake!!” he exclaimed and threw himself into a tight hug around Arthur’s shoulders, careful not to touch his wounds.

“It seems like I am” a small but surprised voice sounded.

Alfred couldn’t hold it in, he started crying and they just lay there, Alfred whispering `you’re alive` over and over through his sobs.

After a couple of minutes Arthur gently touched Alfred’s shoulder.

“Alfred, love, could you please get off, I’m having a hard time breathing.”

“Ah, of course, sorry!” He quickly removed himself from Arthur and Arthur drew tried to draw a deep breath but grimaced in pain.

“Ah, how is it? Do you need anything? Water? Pain reducing spell? Wat-”

“No it’s fine Alfred, don’t worry”

“Don’t worry?! You almost died! Why did you do that, just throwing yourself in front of there and the only thing you say is `this`, what do you even mean by that? What would I have done if you didn’t wake up? I can’t rule this country, I don’t even know what I do everyday!” He sounded terrified and tears started falling from his eyes again. Arthur carefully sat up, pain shooting through his whole body, telling him to lay back down, but he didn’t listen.

“Alfred” he said soft but harsh at the same time which caught the attention of the other. “What I mean with ‘this’ is that that is my most important duty, saving the King. The Queen is dispensable, the country can manage without one, but the King is vital. When my father died, my mother and I did everything we could to keep the country together. It did not work; none of the other countries took us seriously, no one wanted to continue trading with us among other things. We don’t have what a King have naturally, we can’t give the country what it needs. That is why I did what I did, to save you and the country, for rather I die than you.” To this Alfred was quiet for a minute, thinking.

“That is total bullshit, I could never… I could never make it without you.”

“Yes, you would. Maybe not alone but you would have had help from great people.” This didn’t seem to help Alfred, rather it seemed to make him feel worse so Arthur sighed and continued. “Well, there is no need to think about what could have happened, we'll just have to figure out a plan for the future where none of us die unless of old age.” To this Alfred raised his head with a thoughtful smile.

“That sounds like a good plan.”

#usuk #usuk fanfiction #cardverse #Axis Powers Hetalia #hetalia #APH England #APH America #aph china #fanfic #aph hetalia #kimyonaelioscreative #blood #cardverse hetalia

[dennismumba]

Aquaman Review

Aquaman is a big movie. It has a 143 minute runtime, a 200 million dollar budget, a near 90 person cast, an over 1,000 person crew, and a box office gross currently marching towards 300 million worldwide a week before its home debut. It’s the sixth movie in the DC Extended Universe and the first to emerge from the ashes of 2017's Justice League.

 In fact, I think big is a lacking descriptor. Aquaman--both as a singular film and as an installment within a universe and genre that generates billions in revenue--is monolithic. As such, its analysis requires structure. To that end, this review will be split into the three composites I feel are most vital for cinematic enjoyment: plot, character, and spectacle. My thoughts on the larger context of the film and my wayward observations will be reserved for the closing. This review is spoiler free. Let's dive in... I feel that's the most restrained, water-related pun I can offer.

 PLOT

 'Once home to the most advanced civilization on Earth, the city of Atlantis is now an underwater kingdom ruled by the power-hungry King Orm. With a vast army at his disposal, Orm plans to conquer the remaining oceanic people -- and then the surface world. Standing in his way is Aquaman, Orm's half-human, half-Atlantean brother and true heir to the throne. With help from royal counselor Vulko, Aquaman must retrieve the legendary Trident of Atlan and embrace his destiny as protector of the deep'

 This is the official synopsis for Aquaman. The narrative presented within the movie’s runtime does so little to transcend that synopsis that I feel it pointless to describe the plot any further. Aquaman is utterly predictable. This movie will not surprise you at any point.

 To be clear, that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Predictability works extremely well when the foreseen story beats and moments are earned by the time they arrive. We all knew Simba would go back to the Pride Lands and face Scar, but Lion King did such a good job of earning that moment that by the time the prince faces down his uncle beneath a sky of storm clouds, you're so invested in every frame of animation that it doesn't matter that you saw it coming. If anything, it simply reinforces the narrative’s internal logic, making for a stronger experience.  

 Aquaman doesn't earn its moments. As we journey with Arthur Curry from land to sea—from politics to romance, from failure to triumph--everything plays out at a distance. I didn't fear for Arthur's life or well-being during the numerous battle sequences. I didn't buy his love story which dared to imply Jason Momoa and Amber Heard had romantic chemistry. I didn't care for his angst or repressed rage. It all just happened and I simply witnessed it. A movie's plot is meant to carry the viewer through an emotional voyage and Aquaman left me standing still.

 To its credit, however, it wasn’t boring. Perhaps foreseeing a lack of audience investment in the story’s machinations, the filmmakers ensured no matter where you are in the movie, you're never far from a burst of action and/or CGI splendour. Given boredom was my main concern walking into the cinema, I was glad about that.

  CHARACTER

 Jason Momoa's first proper portrayal of the Aquaman character was in Justice League, and in a movie of many calamities, he was one of them. His character was nonsensical, drifting between wannabe lone wolf and moronic dudebro without rhyme or reason. His dialogue was gutter trash and Momoa's delivery did nothing to elevate it. I like Jason Momoa--problematic elements and all--and I feel he’s done decent work in the past, but heading into this movie I was unsure what to expect. What I got was the lone wolf/dudebro act distilled down to its most, shall we say, useful components. He broods, but he also goes ‘woohoo’ when he jumps out of an airplane without a parachute. He’s gripped with near ungovernable anger, but he also makes pee jokes.

 And you know what? It works. This isn't the stoic, empathetic gravity Chris Evans brought to Captain America or the endless charisma Robert Downey Jr. afforded Iron Man, but it is effective and believable character work. Watching the movie, I was convinced that if Momoa were ever stricken with superpowers, he’d be Arthur Curry. His physicality translates into genuine weight on screen and his delivery is natural. He actually made me laugh, which is a feat considering how butchered the vast majority of the comedy in this movie is.

Supporting Momoa is a cadre of capable actors: Amber Heard, Patrick Wilson, Willem Dafoe, Nicole Kidman, Michael Beach, Temuera Morrison. All of them turn in barely serviceable performances which, considering their skill, is shocking. It felt like watching good actors doing a table read. Surprisingly, the standout cast member for me is Dolph Lundgren. He gives a very fine performance as old and battle-hardened King Nereus. As someone who grew up in the era of the trashy, disposable action movies of the 90s, I really enjoyed it.

Side Note: The character of Black Manta and everything surrounding him is fucking stupid. We’re talking grand, fucking stupidity here. He is trash, his backstory is trash, his motivation is trash, and everything adjacent to him is trash. I'd expound further, but I watched the movie two days ago and the rage is still great in me. Fuck Black Manta.

  SPECTACLE

This is the jewel of this movie. If director James Wan poured his all into anything, it was the visuals. This movie is stunning. It has genuine grandeur in its presentation. Atlantis is realised as a glowing, neon metropolis under the sea. Its aesthetic is equal parts fantasy and science fiction with inspiration traceable to Star Wars, Lord of The Ring, and Avatar. I can see some finding it overstuffed, but I found it enchanting. And it's brightly lit, which feels like a stark rebuke of the dim, shadowy, unfocused lighting of previous DCEU offerings.

 This emphasis on radiance bleeds into the action sequences. They’re staged with scope and clarity in mind. The camera works to ensure you’re never lost for perspective as the bodies and energy beams fly. It is so refreshing. I never thought the best action movie of the DCEU would be done by someone other than Zack Snyder, but James Wan delivered a confident and energetic spectacle of a movie.

 The CGI deserves particular note as well. Everything is so well rendered that I wonder how BvS and Justice League could be more expensive movies when they feel so much weaker in how they're visuals are realised. This is a movie I want to own and re-watch for the effects alone. There's a scene early on where Patrick Wilson’s Orm and Dolph Lundgren's Nereus meet with Orm riding some kind of shark/crocodile hybrid and Nereus on a giant seahorse. It's badass in a way it had no right to be.

  CLOSING

 Aquaman is a big movie and it is an okay movie. It excels in nothing, but its failures are also inoffensive. Well, Black Manta is offensive in how shit he is, but his screen time means he's not a deal breaker, at least for me. It's fine. It lacks the vaulting ambition to suffer a great fall and it has enough competence in all departments to not unravel at the seams. For the DCEU, it represents a new start in the post Justice League era. It shows a willingness to forego the heavy-handed mythologizing and weightless symbolism that plagued earlier movies in favour of just making movies about these ridiculous characters and leaving it at that. As an action movie, it's a fun time. You'll enjoy your popcorn.

 But there's something else I found compelling about the movie. A great deal is made of Arthur Curry's parentage. He is referred to as a half breed and a mongrel several times by the people of Atlantis. Being half Atlantean and half human, he is seen as tainted. This takes on greater meaning when you consider that Jason Momoa, a man born of a native Hawaiian father and a Germanic, Irish, and Native American mother, plays this character. A character who for decades has been drawn in the comics as a blond and blue eyed white man. Momoa's actual heritage is incorporated into this version of Authur Curry by way of the tattoos that adorn the character’s upper body. These tattoos take design and influence from Momoa's real life tattoos, chief among them the rows of triangles on his left forearm that he's described as his aumakua, his Hawaiian family’s crest.

 Jason Momoa performed a Haka--a Māori war dance--at the movie’s blue carpet premier and added mannerisms of that dance into his own screen performance. The movie’s box office tracking all but confirms that going forward, in the greater pop culture consciousness, Aquaman will no longer be known as a white person. He’ll be known as a person of colour. This fact didn't increase the movie’s quality, but it made for a much more welcoming movie.

 I give Aquaman a 2.5 out of 5. 3, if you take a bathroom break during all the scenes were Black Manta doesn’t have his dumb, laser shooting helmet on.

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