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passanima · 4 years

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watched Mirror Mirror (2012) and live commented it to my friend... and ended up having a lot to say!

that whole mess under the cut

WARNING for mentions of sexual assault, rape and suicide (... yeah i was not expecting that)

good things:

it's funny, it's original, the clothes are fantastic, they get it's a fuckin fairy tale and aren't trying to make it gritty, i love the dwarves (except one who acts kinda creepy around snow), the introduction to the movie is told by the evil queen and is computer animated in a very stylistic way and that's cool

bad things:

1/ the director is indian i believe and he made the world very multi-cultured LOOKING. the castle looks indian, there's an african inspired location, some chinese decorations... but almost everyone is white. and while in movies that are very european looking you can "forget" about how everyone being white is weird... here you have a constant reminder that... this isn't normal

2/ snow white... isn't great. i don't get what they were trying to do with her character. she's very innocent like the disney one at first and almost act like a child (and do really stupid things)... then she's trained by the dwarves to fight and becomes more badass and self-assured... which, nice. but she just... feel off? like she's not a real person. also at time things she says/does looks manipulative... and if it's done on purpose, cool i guess, that would be an interesting take on the character. but the thing is. i'm not sure it's on purpose? all the writing on her character is so obvious otherwise i don't see why they would make this part subtle. she just makes no sense

3/ the prince is awful. literally the worst character. think about the most boring disney prince. he's worst! and on top of that; a creep. he has sexist lines and has a sword fight with snow at some point where he repeatedly slap her butt. and dismiss her and tries to flirt with her. completly ignoring what she has to say.

4/ so obviously the romance between them is awful. it's a classic love a first sight but PAINFULLY literally just on appearances. like all he has to say about her is "she's so pretty... her skin... her hair... she's perfect" but it's not better in her part either. they're both shallow as fuck. and we're supposed to pretend this is true love.

5/ there's a rape joke. completely weird and unnecessary. worst, the "haha" part what that it was a man that got raped...

6/ i don't fuckin know what this movie is trying to be. it start pretending the main character is the evil queen with her narrating and SAYING it's her story not snow's. then it put emphasis on snow's father giving her a dagger, foreshadowing she's going to be a fighter princess. and her whole character arc is to go from the abused naive girl who stays at all time in her room to realizing the queen is ruining the knigdom and going all robin hood on her ass to give the money back to the people. but then she's back to classic princess with the literal worst love story. like what! is the plot! and who! is this about!

7/ this scene i just paused on. prince got under a spell to fall for the queen. snow finds out and kidnapp him. then with her dwarves she tries many things (mostly violence) to snap him out of this. until they get to fairy tale logic of "oh wait it has to be a true love kiss" so they all look a her. and she's like "this will be my first kiss" and act all bashful... but not like real bashful? again she looks manipulative for some reason. she's smiling like she just told an obvious lie and is pleased they brought it. i'm so confused over her character! but anyway the dwarves kinda flip over it and one get closer to her and says "oh i can't let this be your first kiss" and i was cheering cause i thought he meant the kiss wouldn't happen but then another dwarf got mad cause he thought the first one meant to kiss her so i was panicked but he went "of course not!" so i relaxed for a bit but it's such a rollercoster and would you believe me this isn't the worst part yet? boy...

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so the prince was attached the whole time and remember they've been quite violent to him to far. he was crying and in pain and not understanding the situation. so that's already fucked up

but anyway what the first dwarf meant with this not being right is that... she doesn't look pretty enough for her first kiss. like. she needs to be fixed up before it. and go put make up on her. but... you know the beat up prince who's been crying for at least half an hour? let's not touch him, he's good.

i get this is a dumb point when he's literally taken as hostage but who thought... him looking gross was fine but her not wearing lipstick? disgusting!

so anyway she goes to kiss him (and did not ask for consent)... he looks at her with the most deperate face and says "please don't do this" AND AT THIS POINT I’M NOT SURE I CAN KEEP WATCHING THIS

i liked the movie over the top tone... but in this case it's just disgusting because as the rape joke this isn't taken seriously

a kidnapped, tied up, beat up man, who's been crying, and who's BEGIN to not be... like... sexually assaulted... is supposed to be funny

i don't feel full sympathy because he didn't mind sexually harassing HER earlier but what the hell, you know?

unpaused just to see if she's stop and had to pause again because as she come closer he's visibly SCARED and keeps repeating "no"

this is obviously wrong and scary as fuck but the tone is trying to pass it as funny and i can’t deal with this

HE'S! MAKING! SOUNDS OF DISGUST! AND DISTRESS! AS SHE LEANS IN TO KISS HIM! AND THEY FUCKIN PLAY! ROMANTIC MUSIC OVER IT!

i know he's under a spell and it's good to get him out of it but it's SO creepy also i have to add they go with the true love kiss logic... but she literally has no clue if he loves her or not. she's just as bad (on matter of love) as her step mom

(it's the step-mom who put a love spell on him cause she wanted to marry him and didn't care for his consent... and look! snow assuming he loves her (because that's what she want) and kissing him without his consent!)(what the heck! you can't! make your hero do the same thing as the villain??)

she stopped for a second and i barely had the time to be relief... for the movie to disappoint me YET AGAIN with her not actually feeling wrong about the whole situation but simply asking the dwarves to leave because she “needs privacy”

like, is she a villain?

hope we get a reveal the subtle manipulative stuff was actually planned and she's evil cause that's the only way i can accept any of that crap

"come back to me" she says to the prince

as if he's... her fuckin fiancé and not a total stranger still? does she even know his name. i don't know his name. just that he's a prince

in fact, weird thing... i know the name of the country he's from... but not his name

is it on purpose to say he doesn't matter, is just there to be used like a toy by both the queen and princess? i'm scared i'm giving the movie too much credit like with the "snow is manipualtive" thing

looks at this... you can't make a more "no pls don't" face

he's even sucking his lips in to show he doesn't want to be kissed... but she did anyway!

and i guess his spell was lifted cause he then looked like he was fine with it (which i feel... wouldn't happen even if you took the fake love for the queen off? like he's still in a very creepy situation)

AND the dwarves that were still here... ask to each other "do you think she's enjoying herself" and another answer "yea seems like it"

so my question is... to enjoy kissing someone without their consent... who were VERY vocal about not consenting... what the fuck are you other than a villain?

he, uh... just thanked her

"thank you for saving me" ... for the kidnapping. and being tied up to a chair. and beaten up many times. and sexual assault. thanks for all that!

what’s happening now is that a monster? is attacking? and snow lock them (dwarves + prince) inside to fight the monster alone. so +10 manipulative points and +10 stupidity points cause she learned combat recently and still suck at it

she says to the prince, no joke "i've read a lot of stories about princes saving princesses... i think it's time to change that" which uh

very in the face "girl power" thing that would have been fine in a different movie...

but you can't call yourself a fuckin savior after what you did to him + you can't save someone if they're not in danger (she locked them in before anything happened they just hear the monster outside)

"it was the perfect first kiss" bitch

also she's certain the monster is after her for some reason? but at no point in the movie they showed or said anything to imply that... so it just sounds like she has a big ego and think everything is about her............ a bit like the queen!

(NOW they reveal the monster act under the queen. so YES he's after her... but literally she had no reason to believe that up to this point)

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the queen is enjoyable as fuck tho

it can happen that you love the villain more than the hero but here it feels so bad... liking ursula over ariel is fine cause ursula is just more fun and ariel is annoying. it's not like you cheer for ursula to win, or not fully at least. she's just more entertaining...

but here. i legitimately want the "hero" to fail, and while i know the vilain is a bad person and her winning would be awful... i would still prefer that? and that's just fucked up

ideally they would both die

what is this movie how do you fuck up your writting so bad you can't cheer for anyone

also, again, even ignoring all the sexual harassement (from fuckin both side) they have no reason to love each other... they just find the other hot and that's it. you can't pretend "true love" with that! i'm so tired of fairy tales and their retelling always fuckin that part. if they don't have enough time to know each other and feel more than physical attraction... you have no right to use any of that true love shit! literally WHERE is the love?!

visual cool stuff: the palace colors is white and yellow and it stays consistant in the costumes and i like when movies does fun stuff with the color coordination

we're at the last 20 minutes of the movie and the queen starts narrating again... so we're back on this being HER story?

just choose one plot

turns out the monster is snow’s dad under a spell (she thought he was dead for years now so that must be... fun to realize)

also the MIRROR doesn't make sense

what the movie implies is that... instead of a witch, the queen is a regular woman who simply use the mirror's magic at her advantage

but the mirror acts like a person and we were never told it was forced to obey the queen in any way? the mirror even seems to despise her in a very... god-like way? like someone so much more powerful that you just looking down being like "oh that's the choice you make? disappointed but not surprised"

but if you're a person with free will and disagree on the way she use your magic... and you're not tied to her by a spell of sort... why obey her at all?

ALSO already said snow sometimes acts weirdly suspicious/manipulative... but there's also times... the actress forgets to act? or something? where she has no reaction or the wrong one, to situations. like when she woke up in the dwarves house with all of them staring down at her... she acts really calm, barely asking questions. full situation is that it's the first time she sees them (or their house) so stranger danger, and the night before she was almost murdered and running around in the forest, panicked, until she fainted. but then she wakes up and has no reaction. completly blank. this time she discover her dad isn't dead and she she does react... but barely. like it’s not such big a deal

she's just weird and her character makes no sense

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they do the apple scene in the most BIZARRE way

i knew it was a snow white story but i didn't expect the apple to happen anymore cause the plot went so far off the original tale

so what happen is the pince and princess get married, as much as it pains me to say it, and THEN... the queen (which i just assumed died cause she was aging extremly fast after her spell got broken and the mirror looked happy about it so i understood it was watching her die live) comes to the wedding and just after the vows are done she gets to snow and goes "it's modest but if you could accept this apple as a gift for your wedding day"

the situation is so weird because it was part of snow character developpement to wise up and not being naive as anymore AND YET she’s ready to bite into it

and just who the fuck show up at a wedding with an apple... doing the apple scene here was a choice but not one i understand!

oh WOW she does actually realize something is up and stop herself before bitting into it... i’m so glad at least one thing in this movie makes sense

AND THEN she does something interesting that remind me of a detail i wanted to talk about!

in the beginning of the movie, when the queen was narrating, we learned that her dad last gift to her was a dagger. and now at like 5 minutes before the end i was wondering... when will it show up again? technically it did before. she used it in an early scene to cut an apple (another reason i thought they would keep the apple scene out: with this being an allusion to the original tale like "haha you get the ref?") and then the dwarves gave it back to her in a fight but she didnt end up using it so i was confused

but here she is using it to cut a slice of the apple...

then smiles at the queen... and says "age before beauty" (what does that even means)(guess it's to do with the queen express aging process) and "it's important to know when you've been beaten" in such... a cunning way

no way all the weird manipulating bits she has was just random, movie pls

+ 1000 manipulative points because now she’s giving the slice to the queen

who... accept it

cut to the mirror who says "so it was snow's story after all" like YEA i know it's been for a while you only pretended otherwise for the first ten minutes

we're back on the marriage scene and the body of the queen disappear, her clothes falling on the ground implying she did eat the poison apple on her own volution, while snow look at this happens... while smiling... and everyone around scream in confusion and panic

but now they’re clapping? why? they don't even know who it was or what happened to her. they just saw a random old woman disappear magically... are they clapping thinking it was a magic trick? again, i’m confused

snow then moves to the center of the room... looks at everyone... and for an explanation she just smiles

indi music plays and she starts dancing

i'm not... joking

she made her step mom commit suicide and is dancing about it

AND THEN START SINGING

there has been no song until now, it wasn't a musical, and again the director is indian so he can do whatever he wants, but giving this a bollywood ending with indi music, dancind and singing... when everyone is white... is super weird and tone inconsistent I DON'T GET WHAT IS HAPPENING

"i believe in love" is the lyrics of her song

but how do you believe in love when... you have no love for your spouse? or how little you cared about your dad return? or how at the beginning of the movie you were chocked by the kingdom poverty and went all robin hood for them but then completely forgot about it? or the love/forgiveness you didn't have for your step mom (not that she deserved it but)

WHAT TYPE OF LOVE DO YOU BELIEVE IN

most of the song is just “i belive in love” over and over but there’s some other bits like “follow the colors of your dream” and that makes me wonder... what is snow’s dream?

she was given no goal except for her (very short) robin hood moment. she didn’t want a man, just happened to find one. she didn’t want to kill her step mom, just did a random experiment to see if she could force her to commit suicide... so just what are those lyrics about?

every part of her song make me believe even more in my theory that she’s the real villain because she’s way too happy about this

but also this whole song segment... feels fan made? like fans who had fun dressing up as the characters and just wanted to film themselves dancing to make some kind of parody video. this just clash this badly with the rest of the movie

everyone looks happy and is singing and dancing... and i'm just left wondering... why?

a woman died (and again they do not know who she was) in a weird way where her body simply disappeared, then the new queen smiled and started singing about love and they all went with it

it's not even... like a disney movie where the song serves a role. with people singing instead of talking to keep going thru the plot but in a fun way

it just feels out of place and weird

and that’s how the movie ends! on a sudden love song pretending it's an happy ending!

and technically... it kinda is? all spells are broken, the evil queen is dead, there was a wedding...

but i just feel bad and confused and upset

because they kept pretending snow is a good person... when she acted manipulative/evil TOO MANY TIMES to be ignored

like fuck last thing she did before singing was smile in a evil way looking at her step mom dying

also it gave no explanation on the mirror's deal. it looked happy at the queen's death... but why? and also why let her use you if you hate her and what she does

all i feel about her song at the end... is that she's the evil queen now. and is doing her first spell. forcing everyone around to dance and think everything is ok when a woman just died in front of them... she's manipulating them into beliving in her and that they're happy and have nothing to worry about

but the kingdom won't get better, because snow has stopped pretending she's nice and naive, clealy showing her excitment at someone's death... and not caring about her people well being anymore. they think they won with the last queen gone... but the new one might be worse

i even think snow will find the mirror and they'll start this game all over again

last queen thought it was her story... the mirror just looked at her making her moves, knowing what would come out of it... knowing it was snow's story

but it's not even snow's story

because this is a loop and there will be someone else after her that will think they're using the mirror... but really it's the mirror using them for it's own entertainment

and that's why it's called mirror mirror

the mirror is the main character

#I rant about stuff #mirror mirror #movie

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jeniiii · 7 years

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“Hey There, Princess” || t.h

Summary: In which a Disneyland employee has quite a surprising end to her exhausting day

Words: 1236

Warnings: One or two swear words, lmao

Comments: I got this idea a week ago but I couldn’t fricking write it until now, so I hope you enjoy, haha. Warning that I’ve never had a job at Disneyland, nor have I actually ever been there (unfortunately), so hopefully this isn’t too bad. Sorry to anyone who actually has a job at Disneyland (which sounds so coollllll to me, omg) and this is nothing like how it actually is. But for imagine purposes, just try to look past my mistakes, lol

**************

You imagined this day much differently.

After sitting in a sauna handing out tickets for hours and cleaning up a little accident which involved some digested cotton candy and gum - please don't ask - you found yourself sluggishly working your way into a dress, ready to parade out into hundreds - if not thousands - of people.

You didn't hate your job; in fact you absolutely loved walking around and talking to kids, watching their face light up from seeing the big mouse from Disney channel. But, considering your alarm decided to completely fail you and a little coffee stain decided to show up that morning - goddamn it, I just did the laundry - you weren't so at home in the happiest place on earth.

The shouts were enough to give you a headache, staring out into a crowd of mickey mouse ears and a suspicious amount of minion hats - what the hell, they're not even Disney. Forcing a smile and straightening out your back, you took a breath and waved to the crowd of bursting Disney fanatics and scrambling parents. You didn't know how long it had been, more focused on keeping your job than the minutes ticking down from your escape of this seemingly hellish day - smile, wave, repeat. When it was finally finished, you felt your whole body shut down, jumping off the parade float and away into a building where the end of your shift sat, begging for you to just leave.

You silently bid goodbye to your co-workers, slipping in a few puns here and there, as you - so unfortunately, according to most of your friends - repeated day after day.

Bye Ariel. Sea you tomorrow. Haha, get it? Sea? Because your name is Ariel and -

Yes, I get it. I got it today and yesterday and the day before that. Please stop.

You'd let out a little huff, but they'd always laugh in the end, small hand movements which signaled the end of yet another day.

A normal, peaceful day.

In any other circumstance, you would've gone home; possibly taken a bath with some light music in the background. Maybe snuggle into some fluffy pjs and sit down for a Marvel marathon for hours until finally falling asleep.

What you didn't expect was to completely trip over your own damn feet, flying to the ground and dropping everything in your hands. You cursed under your breath, glaring at the gravel, before stumbling back to your feet. You didn’t find any of your stuff littered across the ground like you expected, instead in the possession of the arms stretched out to yours.

"Hey there, princess. Here's your stuff. Are you alright?"

Your eyes went wide and, for the first time that day, you were fully awake. You tried to move your arms; tried to save yourself with a enter witty, self depreciating line here, where you'd both laugh and walk away from yet another example how this day was going oh so well.

The problem was, the boy that stood in front of you - brown hair and brown eyes and perfect body and oh my gosh, it's him - was not just some stranger.

It could've been a dream. Maybe your mind was so deprived of the sleep you so desperately needed that it was making up some... some damn vision in your waking life that surely wouldn't have fooled you, have you had enough sleep. But the way he looked at you, hands out stretched and a small smile on your lips, you knew this wasn't some figment of your imagination.

You just fell in front of Tom fucking Holland.

Anyone would've loved to be in your position. You were talking - well, more like staring, but that was besides the point - to the Spider-Man, one of which you were more obsessed with than you wanted to admit. Some would ask for his number after some light banter, engraved into each other's mind and waiting for the day he ask you to be his.

But, this was no fantasy and you were just trying to compose yourself, scrambling to take all your stuff from a man who surely wasn’t struggling to carry it, like yourself.

"I-I'm okay. I - um, thank you for picking up my stuff. I'm not the most elegant person, as you can see." You'd let out an awkward laugh, before clearing your throat. "Y-you're Tom Holland, right? Well, of course you are, I would've recognized you from a mile away. Wait - does that sound creepy? Yes, yes it does. I guess I'll get going, sorry to bother you, um bye -"

And before you're able to go; before you run away and try to erase any memory of how you completely embarrassed yourself in front of your celebrity crush, you felt hands on your wrist, a boy with a smile staring back at you.

"I actually saw you on the float earlier. You were really, um, cute up there." He tried hiding the pink growing on his skin, embarrassed at how forward he was being. "My friend, Harrison noticed me looking at you and told me to find a way to talk to you. I'm not really sure how it happened, but I saw you get off the float and I was gonna head over and maybe speak to you but you disappeared before I could. Now here we are!"

He lets out the laugh you've only heard through screen, heart pounding in your chest because your favourite goddamn person said you were cute and wanted to speak to you, of all people. This couldn't be real. This happened to bombshell, models who had the connections to parties and premieres. This happened to celebrities who had the upmost honour to work with him on a movie set.

This didn't happen to exhausted Disneyland employees with a coffee stain on there chest and tangles in their hair.

Well, at least you used to think so. Now, you're not so certain.

"Are you sure it was me you wanted to talk to?" You find yourself asking the question despite the thoughts yelling in your head, screaming no with every word that came out of your mouth. "I just can't believe you would want to speak with... speak with me."

He looks down at you, watching your head bow to the ground. He doesn't know why it bothers him so much, but he can't help but feel so absolutely mortified that a girl as beautiful as you could ever think otherwise of herself.

"Yes, it was you. And, if you don't mind me asking, but I'd love to know the name of the lovely maiden I am so lucky to be talking to at the moment."

You feel yourself completely perk up, letting your name slip past your mouth with a smile grazing your lips.

"Beautiful." His voice is airy, completely dazed at how perfect your name sounds in his head. Before he forgets - falling maidens and knights in shining armor - he awkwardly takes a pen and an old napkin out of his pocket, scribbling a few digits onto the surface. "Um, H-Here's my number. I know we just met, and not under the best circumstances, but I would really love to get to know you more, princess."

You smile, taking the number from his hand and slipping it into your pocket.

"I'll definitely be texting you soon, my knight in shining armor."

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #celebrity imagine #celebrity imagines #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #peter parker oneshot #marvel #disney

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