#fuck my liiifee

[whump-queen]

begging someone to hold a gun to my head so my brain will finally make me do my dishes, laundry, vacuuming, job applications, emails, messages,, just to get anything done at all without constantly wanting to die

#executive dysfunction is a fucking hellscape and I want out I want out I wantoutoutout #fuck my liiifee #seriously the threat of imminent immediate danger is the only way I can do fucking anything #executive dysfunction #the kind that makes me wanna BANG MY HEAD INTO THE NEAREST HARD SURFACE UNTIL I CANT SEE ANYMORE #death sounds preferable !!!!!!!!! #all those bullshit articles written by nt ppl like ‘MAKE A LIST!!1!1 BREAK DOWN UR TASKS!!!1!’ #THANKS BRENDA BUT ID RATHER PLUCK MY EYELASHES OUT ONE BY ONE #I literally gave my coworker $100 in cash the other day and said #’if I don’t have that report for u by tomorrow you get to KEEP THE $100.’ #because I COULD NOT DO IT OTHERWISE ID BEEN RIPPING MY HAIR OUT FOR WEEKS OVER THAT ONE THING #if u have exec dysfunction and have any tips for me other than putting myself in danger like - pls help ohmygod #legit a cry for help I don’t know what anyone would do but like #god damn a button that lets someone shock me remotely if I don’t do the shit i’m #supposed to do #I ACTUALLY NEED THAT IT WOULD SAVE MY LIFE HHAA #tw mental health #tw suicidality #adhd #tw implied suicidal tendencies #vent #personal

[bbeelzemon]

this baby dress:

me, barely resisting the urge to draw my baby grub oc in this baby dress:

#*jenny nicholson voice* see itll be funny because shes a bug #sorry i was watching her videos today and now my inner monologue is in her voice #nevermind if thats even remotely a sentence she would ever get close to saying #anyway i will almost definitely draw this. i have to. i have an obligation to draw bugs as cute as possible. and that includes BABY BUGS #*spongebob narrator voice* tomorrow for sure #also i feel weird having my other ocs (including bug people) wear clothes but what they just never made clothes for grubs??? unlikely! #listen. listen. im not mentally or emotionally ready for a child but babies are my FUCKING LIIIFEE #THEYRE SO CUTE if i look at a baby for too long i start crying #this character is actually a rehash of a neopets oc of mine. well two of them her and her father #his whole character is basically father by day....scientist by night....and also father by night as well #are these two characters thinly veiled shows of my wish to have a good relationship with my father? who knows!! probably!! but lets not look #into it too much shall we!! #in the meantime i love my grub daughter. her neopet name is bazeen but i have to rename her for my comic #her name........tbd......................................... #wow i havent made a post with really long tags in a really long time i think! enjoy it! i do my talking on twitter now sometimes! #i mean. emphasis on sometimes. im talking here now obviously #look at that all these words and not a single keysmash! who is this #im too tired to keysmash i need to go to BED!! i have to be in the right mental zone to keysmash #because i can only type things if i am personally feeling them at that moment #pros and cons to it but hey at least it means that when i write stuff you can rest easy knowing this is #litcherally exactly how my mind is giving these words to me. i just think it and throw it on the screen. no thinking about it here #okay shut the fuck up literally half of these long ass tags have nothing to do with my character shut up youre so annoying hgfjdsfhg

[liodendrama]

a february storyline would be fucking BALLER. i'd neeed that in my LIIIFEE

.

[lakesbian]

Lake, Jesse and Nate + Festivals

ANON I AM VENMOING U MY FIRSTBORN CHILD. THANK U FOR THE COSAY SIBLINGS ASK. i regret to announce that i'm boring & don't know much abt what festivals are actually like, so i decided to rely on google research. and said google research led me to discover that arizona has this big october-long fall/halloween festival in dewey.

i fucking LOVE fall/halloween, and it's implied that jesse might be pretty into it, too. (constantly names things Dracula, has a picture on his phone of he & nate dressing up for vampires on halloween. halloween fan with a hyperfixation for vampires?) so the natural choice here is for me to go off the fucking rails thinking abt the cosay siblings attending the Mortimer Farms Pumpkin Fest in october. i'm just gonna go down a loosely bulletpointed list until i run out of Thoughts.

- it's a family catered festival, and the cosays are such a loving, wholesome family that it's almost ridiculous. they're fucking sitcom family level cute. jesse likes halloween, nate is down for almost anything either of his older siblings are doing, and lake is always interested in having Fun New Experiences after the train, so...inevitably, the cosay parents haul their 3 kids to the festival. family bonding time!

- jesse & lake are getting too old to be scared by halloween (and lake is canon confirmed as a "i kept my eyes open during the scary parts" type of person) + the festival isn't intended to be scary, so they're chillin'. nate secretly gets a little freaked out by the corn maze after dark, though, and...well, you can't prove whether or not he held lake's hand through parts of it. (he loves jesse and his parents, but lake is without a doubt the most intimidating member of his family. lake could totally beat up a ghost.)

- there are ziplines. jesse doesn't stop riding the ziplines until someone makes him. you know in s2 when grace gives him a harpoon pack and he goes "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIIIFEE. COOL." ? that energy.

- petting zoos are catered to younger kids, but it's actually jesse & lake that lose it over the petting zoo while nate stands in the corner asking when they're gonna be done. jesse & lake's reaction to alan dracula totally gives me the energy that they love animals and are super excessive about displaying that. they have a "just like alan dracula 🥺" moment over getting to buy some of that dispensable animal feed & giving it to the sheep. their parents end up taking nate to do something else and come back in 50 minute to find jesse and lake still petting a goat and reminiscing about train memories. jesse saves every animal they pet in his contacts as Dracula, even if they already have another name.

- they GOTTA pick pumpkins. obviously. jesse--big fan of halloween decorations--is extremely discerning about it and recruits his whole family to analyze pumpkins with him. it starts off pretty casual, with a lot of "yeah sure that one is fine :) are you ready to go now?" energy coming from lake, nate, and mr. cosay, but somehow spirals into Serious Pumpkin Debate. they're in the field duking that shit out for twenty minutes because jesse thought his mom's opinions on pumpkin shapes kinda sucked and everyone else accidentally gets pulled in. lake says the argument is "fucking stupid" three times, but she still participates.

- very much implied in the season that jesse likes selfies, and that his family is just fine with that. he insists on taking a picture of them by EVERY attraction they go to, and the photos are really cute. there's: - one of them in the pumpkin patch where nate is grinning and holding a tiny pumpkin - one of Himself On The Zipline (nearly lost his phone for it) - a bunch of him and lake making silly faces next to various farm animals - a few from the corn maze after dark. the ones with lake in it make her look like some kind of cryptid because of how the flash bounces off her -mandatory Cute Family Picture by the entrance to the festival. it's hilariously crowded--he's trying to fit five heads in there while holding his phone at arms length. mrs cosay nearly impales herself on lake's needle buzzcut trying to fit in. the end result is super adorable, though

#ask #i am not proofreading this post sorry. thank you for the opportunity to go on a random infodump ramble #idc if no one else enjoys this post it is For Me Specifically. catered to me. #thinks about cosay family selfies and sobs on the ground #infinity train #b2 #headcanons #my post

[boomboxigrade]

me, on an average day: -plays video games and eats a truckload of food in order to ignore my depression- me, on that day: fuck fuck fuck fuck fUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUCKKK MY FUCKING LIIIFEE

#lis screams #unprecedented violent thoughts because my mind likes to kill me #oh well