there's something so special about fit's lore stream, and the build up to it? best lore so far hands down, no questions asked for me.
don't get me wrong, cellbit's federation arc was fun but in terms of storytelling, it felt (to me) way too rushed to feel real or poignant from a character perspective, and railroady from a overall lore perspective. it had no build up, no time to sit and fester, and sure there'll be consequences but frankly, it fell flat. it's not the sort of plotline you go through in a week, and it was more stressful than satisfying.
fit has been dropping this and letting it build for weeks, always leaving me questioning whether it was a troll or something else. it was a blink and you miss it moment in the middle of someone else's stream, a little uncomfortable and suspicious but also completely harmless, and unassuming. and then fitmc from 2b2t turns around and drops not only a massive plot point (is he hired by the host? by someone who railroaded the host's plan? why were the people here picked? what's the point of putting them together? where does the federation come into this?) but also just… a really solid character arc.
a man from a world that's broken, chaotic, baren, who can't trust anyone except for himself signs a contract to do a job, and what does he find? home, a dystopian nightmare of a home but a beautiful one still. family. friends. a son to love and care for on his own, a responsibility he's never wavered from for a second… but he still gave his word. he finally bites the bullet and tries to reach out to his employer, tell them things have changed and while he'll do as he agreed to, "have they considered the cost of their request?"
he loves his son, loves these people, he grieves with them and wants to protect everyone, but knows he's in a position where he can't win -- he was doomed from the start, having gotten here knowing more than the rest and knowing at the end of the way, when push comes to shove they won't trust him. but he's used to not being trusted -- he just wants to help protect these people, while keeping himself and his child safe.
his message doesn't go through, his plea doesn't reach anyone's ears.
don't send me in dark despair
from all that i hunger for
but open your angel's arms
to this stranger in paradise
and tell him that he need be
a stranger no more
fitmc from 2bt2 indeed. he's a tired man from a loveless place, and for the first time in his life he doesn't want to be a stranger anymore. how unfortunate for him, prayers are rarely answered.
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Forever thinking about the short story “The Husband Stitch” from Carmen Maria Machado’s Her Body and Other Parties.
Thinking about bodily autonomy in romantic and sexual relationships, especially with men. Thinking about the expectation of martyrdom in womanhood. How complete servitude is the status quo. How women give and give until we’re empty and that’s considered a job well done. How much it hurts that women have to fight to keep the scraps of humanity we’re able to acquire.
Thinking about:
“A wife,” he says, “should have no secrets from her husband.”
“I don't have any secrets,” I tell him.
“The ribbon.”
“The ribbon is not a secret; it's just mine.”
Thinking about:
Resolve runs out of me. I touch the ribbon. I look at the face of my husband, the beginning and end of his desires all etched there. He is not a bad man, and that, I realize suddenly, is the root of my hurt. He is not a bad man at all. To describe him as evil or wicked or corrupted would do a deep disservice to him. And yet—
“Do you want to untie the ribbon?” I ask him. “After these many years, is that what you want of me?”
His face flashes gaily, and then greedily, and he runs his hand up my bare breast and to my bow.
“Yes,” he says. “Yes.”
“Then,” I say, “do what you want.”
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