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Submitted by @sky-the-snail-fanatic

#english korean japanese icelandic - from the top of my head #misc #poll

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Not arguing with a man wearing a collar

Whatever you say sweetheart, do you want to be railed in your bed or mine?

#OSNDIRUFHFHF #ofmd #ofmd 2 #nsfrhys

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edit: THIS POST BREACHED THE CONTAINMENT OF THE TARGET AUDIENCE, "28-YEAR-OLDS WHO SAW THEIR FIRST ANIMES IN PIECES ON YOUTUBE DURING THEIR TEENAGE YEARS." PEOPLE WHO WATCHED SAILOR MOON WHILE SIPPING APPLEY JUICE IN PRESCHOOL I'M SORRY I GUESS THIS ONE ISN'T FOR YOU

#my first anime was probably fucking Heidi #YES FELLOW GERMANS THAT'S AN ANIME #but if we're thinking like... anime that you'd think is anime #probably crayon shin-chan #make of that what you will #misc #poll

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yes i'm normal about him. i need to gnaw on him like a no. 2 pencil

#misc

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this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby

#one pair of jeans one pair of leggings #i hate buying clothes!! nothing about being frugal here #misc #poll

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ok i’m curious

#i use all of them though recently i mostly use 💌 :D #also use <3 #and then the other colours depending on the mood or person! #misc #poll

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Greg Davies in Series 16 of Taskmaster

#i am goijng to fucking combust on the spot #that fifth gif???? imagine you're telling him a story and he looks at oyu like that??? sdlfkjsdfsdfsdf #nah i can't do this anymore #jail for greg #horny jail for me #tm #tm uk #greg davies #oh lord heal this bike

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#NUH UH RHYS WHAT THE FUCK #rhys darby #oh lord heal this bike

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#IT'S ALL I DO IT'S CALLED ADHD 😭😭😭 #misc

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Taskmaster Mythos

aka why yes, I’ve watched this show more than once

Alex stays busy by doing Greg’s laundry, watering his plants, and cleaning his legs

Every Christmas Greg and Alex play “Conceal the Pineapple”

Greg occasionally lets Alex wash his clothes in the washing machine

Alex loves his wife and Greg equally

Greg told Alex to shave off his beard and then to grow it back because he didn’t like it

Sitting next to Greg makes Alex feel safe

Greg would be Alex’s cutest thing

Greg took Alex camping and kept getting him to feel what was in his sleeping bag

When they’re at home Alex is only allowed to move around like a snake

Greg makes Alex clean himself like a massive cat

Greg had Alex on a No Solids or Liquids diet for four months

Every morning for an hour and against his will, Greg lets Alex take the dry skin off his feet and gives him a cuddle

Alex’s father was a muffin man

Alex brushes his teeth with Primula Cheese

Alex has a chest tattoo that reads: “When a bird is in a tree and the tree is chopped down, the woodsman has moved the bird”

Alex isn’t allowed a catch phrase

Alex misses his children

Greg loves to see Alex physically punished

Alex’s children call him “Little Alex Horne” and call Greg “daddy”

Alex kisses Greg’s portrait every day while wearing his little trilby

It’s feasible that watching Greg sleep would make Alex sexually aroused

Alex got a sudoku grid tattooed on his tummy, as Greg asked

Alex genuinely wishes he was Greg’s son

Alex sometimes wishes he could distill Greg and pop him in a little bottle around his neck

Alex is always mentally preparing Greg’s next meal

According to Alex, his most exciting thing beginning with “G” is Greg’s special spot

Alex usually wears pink underwear

It takes Alex 12 minutes and 51 seconds to prepare Greg’s bed in the evening

It takes 9 minutes and 34 seconds for Alex to wake Greg with his little kisses

Greg makes Alex tie himself up before going to bed and unties him in the morning

Greg has shown Alex all of his see-through clothes

Alex has exactly 30% fewer bones than the average person

Alex comes to work with his sandwiches cut into fingers because he thinks they “taste better”

It takes Alex 19 minutes and 32 seconds to fully clean Greg

Greg’s bedtime routine involves three aubergines

Naked, Alex looks like a weird ill monkey

Seeing Alex genuinely distressed gives Greg a weird happy feeling in his tummy

Greg gave Alex a phone a couple of months back and all he did was download 600 pictures of muscular women

Alex once told Greg that at some point nearly every day he cries

Fishnet stockings make Alex sexually aroused

Alex agrees that Greg is a handsome man

Much like a Roman emperor, Greg has bathed in asses’ milk and had vigorous sexual liaisons with his personal assistant

Alex collects teapots that look like cottages

Alex likes gentle films, gentle music, and to be held by big strong arms

Statistics are Alex’s foreplay and spreadsheets his post-coital cigarette

#the fact that all of these are... actually said in the show #if you need any convincing to watch it - this should be it #tm #tm uk

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 ﹟random get-to-know-me ask game  !! 

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

bamboo ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

#let's do it! #ask game #misc

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#avic avic though i personally love the chromatopelma cyaneopubescens more #misc #poll

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people who’ve never watched taskmaster try to guess what’s going on from just this clip

#ofmd and gomens mooties PLEASE #tm #tm uk #s17

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guys please 😭 from Samba's instagram

#they are unreal omfg #ofmd #ofmd 2 #ofmd bts

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This is such an underrated Gralex/Taskhusbands moment and it’s from Series 2. When I saw it, I instantly *Kill Bill Sirens*

There’s no context. It just cuts to Greg doing this without preamble.

#his little stupid smile #i want to punch him (affectionately) #tm #tm uk

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"You won anyway. And I was late!"

"Boom! Crash! That's what I'm talking about! Fuck scissors!"

"Bitch!"

"See? You lost. And I didn't even look. Next!"

"See you later, boy!"

"Yes! There you go! I cheated."

"Bah! Humbug."

"I win!"

"I win!"

"Why?" - "I'm sorry." "What does it mean?" - "It just means I won."

fifth attempt "ruibo! come on!"

David Fane laughing "Do I win? Defeats everything!"

[behind the flag - pirate rock, paper, scissors]

#oh hallo welcome back my post! :) #ofmd bts

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I'll have to interrupt you physically

Taskmaster s17e05 spoilers

#must not mention alex's chest in the last gi-- damnit #tm #tm uk #s17