#fuck em up noir >:D

[ghoodles]

A sort of ramble about noir's age because i did some sort of research on some things and well

Yeah

So a theory about specifically 2009/SD!noir's age, and a hc about his one in itsv/2020 comics

So, i recently got Shattered Dimensions working on my wii and played through a bit of it

There are character bios on there which helps me grab a good bit of an idea on his age.

It just says that he's a highschool graduate and saving for college, so, immidiately, that puts us at 17 or above for the 2009 comics

However, i could also probably narrow it down to, well being 18 or 19, considering that the legal drinking age in the 1930s in specific states were different, because it was before The National Minimum Drinking Age Act was passed in 1984.

In New york, you had to be 18 to drink. So, when Felicia asks Peter about his age and he quips with the liquor license thing, it does sort of imply that he is younger than that. So, i'd say that the 2009 comics version of Noir is around 17-18.

However,

I do not believe this to be the case for the 2020 comics/ITSV noir.

Not only does he look older, but those two personalities are extremely different.

Whilst 2009!noir has that sort of i guess... spunky teen energy???? Idk

2020!noir is much more chilled out, which inclines me to believe that he is older. I'd give or take about 27 years old. He's older, 'wiser,' and albeit, calmer.

#i still want him to have more of that 2009 noir personality #but i mean #he's still silly #so idm #atsv #across the spiderverse #spider-man noir #spiderman noir #spider noir #ink's silly spider-man rants #i still believe #that if you give this man access to a gun #BTSV would be over in like #2 minutes #fuck em up noir >:D #oh #tldr #based on evidence ive found #2009 noir is around 17-18 #but itsv/2020 noir is (hc) about 27 or so #dont use old comics for current noir lore #im sorry #i know theyre silly #but with important things like age a lot of that can change over the years #and especially since it feels like theyve rewritten his entire personality now #its sort of a good thing to not be tied down to the older or original versions

[pigeonwit]

hihi hello how are you doing?

(if you'd like for the aus: shapeshifter au + 1920s au)

(hi davey!! i'm good!! i mean i'm tired but i'm good i'm making Ideas and i'm loving them!!)

oh that's SO fucking juicy... i'm gonna be borrowing some bartimaeus trilogy vibes for this.

Urban Fantasy Noir AU:

Jack is a shapeshifter working at a Medda's speakeasy, which has become renowned as a place of safety for for magical creatures. Jack has made something of a name for himself for his abilities as it makes him sought after for certain jobs, specifically the theft and distribution of magical artefacts.

Davey is a human detective hired by William Hearst for the recovery of an antique printing press that was stolen from him by a shapeshifter he wants imprisoned. Normally Davey avoids any jobs to do with magickind, but his family needs the money, and Pulitzer's willing to pay whatever price Davey wants to name - provided he gets the press back.

When Wiesel, one of Jack's usual colleagues on his jobs, and Snyder, the officer Davey's meant to be assisting on the investigation, both attempt to kill them, they both realize there's more to the job and decide to work together.

Snippet:

Jack watches from the rafters as a dark figure sweeps into the church. He’s dressed all in black – a wool cloak, dark trousers, a smart black hat. He’d almost look like one of the folks on Wall Street if his shoes didn’t give him away – thick leather lace-ups, built for walking, running, climbing, all things rich people didn’t need to do.

From beneath the brim of his hat, he can make out Davey’s eyes sweeping across the ceiling, silver-blue with a ring of rust around the pupil. He looks from pigeon to pigeon, until his gaze lands on where Jack is perched below the stained glass window.

“You gonna come down?” He smirks playfully, hands shoved in his pockets, as he meets Jack’s gaze head-on. “Or are you gonna make me come up?”

Jack’s tempted – sorely tempted – to take Davey up on the bluff. Serve the bastard right for showing him up. But he’s itching with adrenaline, that thrill of the hunt racing through his veins – and if he’s honest, which he rarely is, the thought of looking into Davey’s silver-rust eyes makes that thrill turn wild.

He spreads his wings and flutters to the pews. As he lands, he curls his wings around his head and twists, his bones stretching as his body is painted anew – and his boots land, perfectly balanced, on the back of the bench, meeting Davey’s gaze.

“How do you keep doing that?” He huffs, hunching his shoulders as if he still had feathers to ruffle. Davey only smirks at him, his blue eyes glowing under the pale light that filters through the roof.

“I don’t reveal my secrets to any old colleague, Jack.”

“So you admit we’re colleagues.”

“Temporary colleagues.” Davey says firmly, his smile now vanished. “What’ve you got for me?”

“You’re no fun.” Jack scoffs. Davey only raises an eyebrow at him expectantly – he groans and hands him the folder he’s kept tucked in his jacket. “Records from the storage facility. See? Right there, in the middle, under Delancey – Wiesel was storing something big, and he was willing to pay a lot to keep it secure.”

Davey looks from the paper to Jack, brow raised.

“How much of an idiot do you think I am?” He asks, voice flat. “Delancey is an awfully different name to Wiesel.”

“Delancey means Oscar and Morris.”

“Oscar and Morris Wiesel.”

“Delancey.” Jack glares. “They’re orphans. Wiesel’s not their uncle, not by blood – he picked ‘em up from the Refuge, wanted some extra muscle. Delancey is the name they were given when they first got turned in.”

“And how do you know that?”

“’Cause I was in there with ‘em.” Jack sneers. “Jack Kelly, remember? They go alphabetically for each kid – not much between D and K.”

Davey looks at him for a moment, blue eyes wide, like he’s seeing him for the first time.

“You’re an orphan.”

It’s not a question.

Jack looks to the floor, forces himself to chuckle.

“Don’t s’pose many folks want a monster in the cradle.” He holds up his arm and flexes, thick fur sprouting from the pores as his nails turn to claws.

#urban fantasy my love my sweet #i am LOVING noir davey i must say. more noir detective davey. we need it #i genuinely want to write an actual book about this #manhattan wv was actually originally a novel idea that i had but i feel it works better as fanfiction #who knows!! #walkman-cat #newsies #uksies #west endsies #livesies #ask #pigeon scribbles #javid #javey #jack kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs

[hyper-cryptic]

Nick and Hancock headcanons?

YES...YEEEEES. I am so eager to talk about these two! Especially Nick since I have been talking all day about Hancock, not that I mind of course. 😳

Starting with Nick!

He really likes animals. I have no actual explanation for this, he just looks like the guy that would take in a lot of cats and then have his house infested by stray cats. Ellie loves the cats, but they GOT TO GO.

He literally forgets he has his hat on sometimes.

I feel like he would like going on strolls around DC, for no reason, just to stretch the legs or to take a smoke. It’s calming for him to go around, seeing the city working and people interact with each other. He prefers going out at night, he likes the lights. :)!

He is actually very disorganized with stuff, forgets where he leaves his files, puts files in the wrong places, sometimes doesn't even file a report...I mean, look at his agency, it's a disaster and I adore it. If it wasn't for Ellie, who at least tries to organize when Nick is out, or busy, he would be so lost.

Okay but, he likes rain right? Imagine him just going out to his roof when it's raining and just be there. Maybe he likes it because of how it feels, the bits of pressure on his skin as the raindrops fall, and maybe the calming sound.

He totally meets up with Hancock every once in a while. Just to catch up with stuff. How is the town going? How are the cases going? Mostly casual things.

He is absolutely terrified of Piper, but in the best way. He admires her determination and how brave she is, but god, he wished she slowed down sometimes.

He likes coffee a little bit too much...Tastes good!

I honestly wonder how his vision is. A part of me wants it to be something similar to the V.A.T.S or even the power armor screen, has little colors and a lot of analysis shit. Or normal, full color vision with the analysis shit on, so he can be happier. :)

He really sweet food. He doesn’t eat much, but he likes to get some treats once in a while.

He likes children. This doesn’t mean he would like to be a father though, he thinks he wouldn’t be able to give the kid the attention he needs, and bla bla, you know him. But he sure enjoys spending time with Shaun and chatting with him, or just doing whatever activity. He is just interested in the dumb things the children do, thinks it’s funny. Imagine the feeling you have when you see a cat playing with whatever? Yeah, same feeling.

Likes to play chess...and he is real good at it. Thinks it’s a really fun pastime and enjoys watching your face as he totally beats your ass at chess, that is if you're bad at it. If not, he enjoys a challenge...if you win he’d be really impressed and give you praise, if you lose he keeps his smug face and suggests to try again if you want to.

Continuing that, he is really competitive. He's good sportsmanship, don’t get me wrong but he likes to be able to keep his ego as high as he can.

Would totally accompany Daisy to the library now that is safer, they both have a love for books. He is totally into dumb, noir novellas...You literally can’t tell me I’m wrong.

Now for my self-indulgent part of the headcanons...He has ADD! Yeah, if little habits like smoking would pass down to Nick, why not this? After all, it was a brain scan, it is totally neurological and ADD being a neurological disorder, it would make sense that it passes down to him! This would also explain how unorganized he is, and I got to say it is very interesting how a synth, a literal bot made for work has traits like “forgetting his appointments very often”, plus his impulsivity and fixation with Eddie. Besides, it makes me happy that I can find a character to relate to at that level.

He really enjoys the Silver Shroud plays. Not a super fan, but definitely enjoys the show! It’s something he would be into. (I actually don’t know if this is canon I’ve never heard him say anything about Silver Shroud, but he has some voice lines about it, PLEASE TELL ME, I WANT TO HEAR ‘EM SO BADLY.) Plus, Kent refers to him as “Synth shaped Silver Shroud”, he takes the compliment!

He is a good hugger. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. He might be a good hugger, but he isn’t too sure about them anymore ‘cuz of how his body is built.

His synthetic skin is actually quite soft! Not really soft, but more than expected.

How to break him: literally place your hand on his cheek plus some eye contact and watch him melt onto it. He is pretty much touch starved at this point so any touch will make his heart skip a beat, but do that and he will be at your mercy.

He sends letters to DiMA (obviously once he meets him, accepts him as a brother and isn’t killed) every once in a while to catch up with him! Chase is the messenger. :)!

I just realized that I’ve written lots about Nick already, so! Now Hancock. :D

If he isn’t doing drugs, he’s chewing gum, well...not at that rate, but when he can get his hands on some gum he’ll have some! He really likes it! Mint is his faV. as a funny extra, he didn’t know that swallowing it is...bad, until Sosu or Nick tells him, LMAO.

He would have a pet snake if he could have one. Like really imagine it, he would love reptiles, and know all kinds of stuff about them. He probably really likes Deathclaws.

He knows how to play the guitar. No, I do not have an explanation for this, no I do not accept no for an answer.

He likes very sour or citrus foods, his taste buds are a bit fucked up thanks to radiation, so he likes the fact that the sour taste can make his buds go off the rails. And that’s why he could eat a lemon with a straight face and even enjoy it.

He also really likes coffee, not as much as Valentine but he really likes the strong taste of it! He would drink black coffee and nothing else.

Okay, okay! Last one about food! He is a texture over taste kind of guy, that’s a big reason why he doesn’t like Mirelurk, it’s slimy and weird, no matter how cooked or uncooked it is, he absolutely hates ‘lurk meat. His only exception is boba, he loves boba.

He probably goes around the house only in boxers...because. Doesn’t he give the vibes? Like he would be either shirtless or without pants on relax days or in the mornings.

Autumn is his favorite season. He just likes the orange view of it all, even tho there isn’t much of a change, he does like the chilly breezes that are very common around this season, not cold enough to be annoying but enough to be enjoyable!

He is probably warmer than a normal human because of radiation, so his hands and overall body are warm all the time! (another reason why he likes autumn and cold weather). But yeah! Cuddling and stuff like that are so much more enjoyable with him. :)

His favorite flower might be the carrot flowers there’s around in the ‘whealth. They remind him of the sun *looks at Sole*.

And! That’s all I have for now!! :D

#fallout 4 #fallout companions #nick valentine #john hancock #hyper drabbles #i love writting these they make me so happy hehehehehhee

[feminaexlux]

Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver

Re: title -- there's no bondage or being duct taped anywhere I just can't get the title out of my head 😂

For @verfound, happy birthday!!! This is based off of a MegaMind AU some of us at LBSC were shooting around for a long while. I decided to make some of it a reality, and of course I also decided it would be moderately fun to do it as smut.

Rated E, for reasons above lol

Find on AO3 here :)

(Okay so it's a day late)

Notes:

Adrien Agreste is Chat Blanc, hero of Paris (Metroman), sir not actually appearing in this fic

Luka Couffaine is Silencer, villain of Paris (MegaMind), working together with Sass (Minion). Sass is also not appearing in this fic but I thought I'd give it a mention

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is the intrepid special-news reporter (Roxanne)

Felix Graham de Vanily is the museum curator (Bernard)

Theo is (now) Chat Noir, new hero of Paris, formerly creepy cameraman (Hal/Titan), now creepy superhero stalker mentioned here and there

Also for all of you out there thorsty for Felinette I apologize 'cuz I will be serving up a gallon of POISON BREW, aka this was always Lukanette. Altho I appreciate your visit! This is an official apology for the bait and switch.

⁂

Felix looked nervously around the restaurant, taking in the families and other couples dining quietly at the fancy-ass place he reserved for his dinner date with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She was running late… which wasn't hugely out of the ordinary for her, but still… this seemed later than usual? He adjusted his bracelet, re-checked that the flutes of champagne were perfectly topped off, centered the now burnt-out candle on the table. Taking a quick peek around and making sure no one noticed, he pulled out his raygun and fired it into the candle, re-lighting it. He tucked away the gun as fast as he could.

"Felix!"

"Marinette," Felix sighed in relief.

"Sorry I'm late," she breathed out a sigh, dropping down into her chair.

"Wow, your hair…" She didn't have it up in pigtails! It was flowing loose and was wind-swept. So wind-swept that her bangs were sticking straight up. She'd always been gorgeous but this took it up to another level, geez. "Looks... exciting?"

"Hmm, not the only exciting development of the night," she said, leaning in closer. "Silencer's created a new hero, and I know why!" There was a pop as another bottle of champagne was opened nearby and Felix jumped a little. "It all makes sense now!"

Felix choked. "Uh huh, yeah?" He shakily drew up his water glass to take a sip.

"He missed getting his ass kicked so he created a new hero to kick it for him," Marinette explained. Felix nearly spat out the water but luckily the glass was still in front of him so it sprayed back into it. "But why pick Theo? Theo is the worst possible person you could pick!"

"Wow," Felix said nervously. "That's a lot to take in."

"It boggles my mind," Marinette huffed, leaning back into her chair.

"I am extremely boggled. You know, I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of who's kicking whose ass, but in the meantime," Felix held up his champagne. "Let's enjoy each other's company."

"Ah, I'm sorry Felix, of course you're right," Marinette smiled. "You know I could use a breather," she sighed again, but raised her glass of champagne to toast. "To Felix, for being the only normal thing in my crazy, upside-down world."

Felix felt a pang of guilt but tried not to let it show on his face. "To… being normal," Felix said, clinking his glass with hers. "Marinette?"

"Yes, Felix?"

"Say I wasn't so normal… Let's say I had the complexion of a popular primary color, as a random, non specific example. Would you still enjoy my company?"

"Of course," she said easily. "You don't judge a book by its cover or a person from the outside--"

"Oh, that's a relief to hear," Felix chuckled, leaning in closer.

"You judge them based on their actions!" Marinette finished.

Felix blinked, sitting up straighter. "Well that seems kind of petty, don't you think?"

Marinette smiled pleasantly, but he could tell there was something she wasn't saying. "I am starving," she said, changing the subject. "But I see this is such a cute restaurant, I love the décor!"

"Oh yeah, I'd recommend their special entrée for tonight, it sounds delectable."

The dinner was actually very good and they enjoyed chatting about various subjects. They had just finished up dessert when Marinette sighed again, looking a little… spooked, maybe? Nervous? "Hey Felix?"

"Yeah?"

"I… I'm not sure I want to go home alone… Do you think it'd be okay if I… stayed with you tonight?" She looked up imploringly at Felix.

God her big blue eyes were so beautiful… wait, what did she just ask? Oh shit, Felix thought. He choked, coughing. "Uh w-wow, I…" Felix put a hand to his collar and loosened it a bit. "Th-that's uh… S-sure. I'll be… I'll be right back," he said awkwardly. "Promise I'll be back," he said belatedly when Marinette raised an eyebrow at him. "Just need to… take care of something," he kept talking. Just GO, dumbass, Felix thought at himself.

He practically ran to the bathroom. Oh fuck he had no idea where Felix actually lived. He pulled out a dehydrated cube from his jacket pocket, running the sink tap. He threw the cube into the sink and the real Felix popped back into being. "What the hell--" the real Felix started.

Silencer pulled back the serpent's head on his bracelet and detransformed. "Where do you live?" he asked Felix, pointing his raygun at the startled man in the sink. "Give me your keys."

"Wh-what?! OKAY, okay, okay I'm at--" Felix blabbed, panicking when Silencer shoved the raygun under his chin. Felix took out his apartment keys and handed it to Silencer.

"Cool, thanks," Silencer mumbled, firing the raygun and re-dehydrating Felix back into a cube. "Alright, Silencer, she just asked to spend the night with you," Silencer talked at himself in the mirror. His face was kept neutral but inside there were Code Red alarm klaxons ringing through his entire body and he was fucking ecstatic and goddamn petrified at the same time. "And you said yes. She's… spending the night. With you, you lucky asshole," Silencer chuckled a little disbelievingly.

Well, okay, she was spending the night with Felix, but… it was really him anyway? Silencer felt an even bigger pang of guilt run through his system after thinking that, but… he'd been so in love with her and she'd never give him a chance as the real him. He thumped his head into the mirror and sighed. "I should tell her," he thought despondently.

Maybe? She'd probably throw water at his face and walk out on him if he did admit he wasn't who she thought he was. And… and why did he care? He was Paris' Big Bad. He was bad to the bone. So what if he was lying to his most favorite person in the entire world (outside of Sass)? She was… she was just Marinette Dupain-Cheng, reporter for TVi, and he was a Supervillain.

Supervillains never got the girl. This was his only shot.

And he'd take it.

He fiddled with his bracelet again, re-disguising himself as Felix. He straightened his collar, necktie, and vest, combing back his hair with his fingers. He smiled back up at the mirror. "Let's do this," he said to no one in particular.

He went back to their table, feeling much less nervous about things. "Sorry about that," he chuckled. They went ahead and took care of the check and they walked out to his car. He'd been able to hold her waist while she leaned against his arm. His heart still thumped double time whenever she touched him and he was able to touch her. They'd been comfortable holding hands for a while, but this was all pretty new since it was basically the first time Silencer had ever been able to get that close with anyone.

"Wow," she giggled. "This is pretty… rockin'," she commented wryly. The normally-invisible-but-currently-visible car was black but still stood out against the rest because of its many spike ornamentations.

"Oh, uh, yeah, it's a classic," he laughed nervously. "Didn't want to change too much from the way I… I found it, you know?" He helped her into the passenger seat and got in the driver side. "Don't touch anything, by the way. The buttons are… just for show but they're very delicate."

"So strange," Marinette smiled as she looked at the console. "What is this, a jellyfish launcher?" She'd pointed at one of the buttons. "Is that a shark with a laser attachment?!" she yelled excitedly, looking at another button.

"Th-those darn people from the ol' days. They were… eccentric," Felix chuckled, shrugging. He started the engine and the car blasted Jagged Stone at them. "Oh shit, I'm sorry," he said, panicking as he turned down the volume.

Marinette laughed and it was beautiful to his ears. "I don't mind actually, I kinda love this music."

"Huh, really? Cool," he said, internally screaming a YESSSS SHE LIKES THE SAME MUSIC I DO. "He's my favorite musician."

"Mine too!" Marinette started singing along to the tune and Felix turned the volume back up to a comfortable level. "Oh, you know I actually designed one of his covers when I was still in Collège, the one for Rock Giant."

"No way," Felix gasped, driving out into the Parisian streets. Oddly enough Felix lived in the same direction his lair was in, which sort of stressed him out a little. "That's my favorite album. Very nice work on the cover," he said, distracting himself. They continued talking about Jagged Stone on the ride until they ended up in front of Felix's apartment and he parked, shutting off the engine. "Uh, we're… we're here." He felt a little on-edge now that they arrived.

"Huh, I thought it'd be more…" Marinette trailed off. "Lair-like."

His brain ground to a halt. "Excuse me?" Felix asked blankly.

"Ha, right. So here's the thing," Marinette started, turning to face Felix. "I was late tonight because, guess what? I got a visit from Chat Noir! He flew me off around the city and decided I needed to be rescued, so he dropped me from 1000 meters in the air into traffic and 'rescued' me! I nearly died about 3 times." Marinette grabbed Felix's lapels angrily and pulled him in. "I was trying to tell him that Silencer was planning something with the new hero, but Chat Noir got angry and he left me nearly stranded at the top of the Eiffel! And now I think Chat Noir has a vendetta against me and I'm scared as fuck and you need to help out and keep me safe because you created this mess, Silencer!"

Felix blanched, his mouth gaping wide open in horror as he searched for words. "I… I'm so sorry you had to go through all that b-but I don't know what you're talking about," he tried to laugh. "That sounds terrifying, though! I-I'm not--" Marinette heaved a sigh, rolling her eyes. She grabbed the bracelet on his left arm and moved the serpent-head, going through a series of disguises before it finally detransformed him entirely. "Okay, you got me," Silencer smiled nervously. "Su-surprise?" She didn't respond except to take her hands off him and glare. He lowered his head and thumped it against his steering wheel. "How'd you find out?"

Marinette folded her arms. "Remember when I broke my sunglasses?"

"Yeah."

"Well, turns out when you change the angle of the polarized lens filter you get to see things from a brand new perspective. Your disguise thing didn't work when I saw you through the lens at a different angle."

Silencer tilted his head toward her and frowned. "That… was a month ago."

"And?"

"Aaand you kept dating me even though you knew?" He tried to keep the hope out of his voice but he wasn't sure he was successful.

Marinette rolled her eyes again. "It's called putting up a front, Silencer. I needed to keep tabs on you." She stared forward, looking pretty angry.

Shit. Ouch. He'd been bruised and battered and broken being beaten up by Chat Blanc countless times, but for some reason this hurt more than anything. "Sorry," he breathed out, straightening himself back up into his seat. "Okay." He turned the engine on again, the music continuing to play a mix of Jagged Stone albums, but the two car occupants sat in silence on their way to his lair.

He drove toward the sewers, going through a secret entrance down a level into the garage of his lair. The huge, heavy metal doors shut close behind them in a booming metallic thud. He parked, turned off the engine, and got out first to open Marinette's door for her. She got out and folded her arms again, looking tired and sad but unafraid.

"My room's over there," Silencer pointed at a door heavily decorated with gothic elements. "You can have it, feel free to use whatever inside. Let me know if you need anything, I'll… be at my desk." The little brainbots hovered nearby, beeping and whirring anxiously. They somehow knew not to attack Marinette.

"Thank you," Marinette said softly, heading toward his room.

"You've got a surprising amount of trust in me," Silencer said offhandedly after she'd taken a few steps. "I could have -- might have just kidnapped you for nefarious reasons."

Marinette stopped but didn't turn around to face him. "No, you haven't. I made you come here. And besides," she glanced over her shoulder. "Between you and Chat Noir, at least you haven't ever hurt me." She had a sad smile on her face. "So, yes, I do trust you."

"I would never hurt you, Marinette," Silencer whispered to himself after she went into his room and closed the door.

⁂

Okay, Marinette, she thought at herself. You just willingly allowed a Supervillain to take you back to his lair and now you're in his room because you were being stalked by a brand new superhero creep calling himself Chat Noir and this was literally the safest place you could be. She took a look around his room and while it was all painted black or blue with lightning bolts everywhere, she saw a bunch of music posters and guitars hung up on the walls.

She smiled, remembering that Felix -- no, scratch that, Silencer -- had always been kind of a music nerd. She walked forward and flopped onto the bed in unexpected exhaustion, but God, she needed a shower. After that horrifying experience with Chat Noir and the… weird sense of guilt she felt for pushing Silencer to do this for her, she just wanted to wash herself of the grime and sleep it off. It was largely Silencer's fault anyway, even if he did look completely surprised and shocked when she said Chat Noir had paid her a nasty visit.

She went into the bathroom and turned on the lights. She opened the shower door and turned the faucet to hot, testing the water after a bit to make sure it was the right temperature. She stepped in after taking off her clothes and shoes, sighing in contentment as the hot water hit her skin.

But she wasn't relaxing as much as she hoped she would.

She couldn't forget the heartbroken expression on Silencer when she told him she'd been dating him as a front. Well, he had to be a Supervillain (even if he never actually did intentionally hurt anyone), if he'd just been a Hero instead she probably would have loved to -- Wow, fuck, where did that thought come from? Ugh.

So what if he was actually kind of cute, blue skin and all? And so what if, when he wasn't terrorizing the city and causing massive property damage, he'd been sweet and kind and thoughtful and she felt the happiest and safest she'd been in a long time when she spent time with him? "Ugh, stop it, Marinette," she groaned, slapping her palms against her face. "You're being stupid." So stupid it sounded like she was in love with a Supervillain. Yeah right, as if…

Fuck, she was.

She turned off the faucet and angrily stepped out, drying herself off. It hadn't ever been about superpowers. If she'd been interested in heroes she would have probably propositioned Chat Blanc, but she hadn't. Chat Noir was a definite no-go. Instead she'd flirted with Silencer and was now in his Lair, because she had trusted him.

She stepped out of the bathroom and rifled through his closet to find and put on a robe. It'd been embroidered with "The King" across the back and it made her laugh. King of what? Evil? Silencer was bad but he didn't have an evil bone in his body. Which was kinda weird to think about so she stopped thinking about it.

She crawled into bed. 30 minutes to an hour later she found that she couldn't sleep after tossing and turning. She sighed, sitting up and getting out from under the covers. She slipped on her flats and walked out of the room, finding Silencer looking through the exterior surveillance cameras in his chair, but he was facing away. She pushed on his chair and turned it around to face her. "So what did you--"

"Aah!" He nearly jumped straight out of the chair. "Ma-ma-ma-Marinette?!" He flushed, the tips of his ears were pinker and there'd been a red tinge to his cheeks.

She giggled. "Are you alright?" She left her arm on his chair, noticing that she was leaning over him a little bit, maaaybe showing a bit more skin than usual as the robe had separated slightly. He definitely noticed that too and was desperately looking away.

"Fine, fine. Why do you ask?" He was playing it cool but it was obvious he was trying his hardest to not look at her. "Did you need anything?"

Oh now this was precious. "Why, Silencer, are you scared of me?" she teased.

He started sputtering, finally looking back up at her. "Wh-what? Pfft no, nooo. S-scared? Of you? Nope. So what if you're unbelievably brave and amazingly intelligent and manage to outsmart even me sometimes? A-and so what if you're really, really ridiculously good looking?"

She smirked. "Are you trying to charm me, Silencer?"

"H-hey, you're the one trying to seduce me, you-you temptress," Silencer continued to stammer, his blush getting worse as she sat down across his lap and leaned against him.

"You know, Silencer, it's strange. For all the times you've kidnapped me, you've never treated me badly and you'd only kept me until Chat Blanc came to fight you. When we were dating and I found out that you were impersonating Felix, I thought you were trying to use me or control me or brainwash me, but you haven't. There were so many times, like now, where I'm clearly unarmed and helpless, and yet you've never done anything to make me think I need to be afraid of you. So what's the deal here? What do you want with me?"

He looked elsewhere (anywhere but at her) and she could see a slight grimace forming as he ran through his options. "Can't I just like spending time with you?"

"So you've been lying to me, pretending to be Felix, to spend time with me?"

He laughed a little despairingly. "That's the only thing I've lied about. Everything else I've told you was the truth. But you like me as Felix. You don't like me as Silencer. So yeah."

"Would you have slept with me still pretending to be Felix?" Marinette asked the question that had been plaguing her, preventing her from being able to sleep.

He looked ashamed. "Honestly?" he sighed. "No. I would have bailed."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I want you to be with me," he said quietly. They both went quiet, and outside of the occasional beeping of the brainbots hovering nearby the room was nearly silent.

"It's funny," Marinette said after a few moments, placing her hand along his cheek and guiding his gaze back down to her. "I've gotten to know you when you're not blowing up half the city, and you're pretty fun to be with. So maybe I do want to be with you. As you are, right here, right now."

"I-I thought you said you were just 'putting up a front,'" he said, sounding confused.

"Doesn't stop me from wanting to kiss you," she said. "And more, if you want that."

He choked. "M-more?"

"Even if your spandex suit doesn't leave much to the imagination," Marinette said, her voice sultry and low. She traced a finger from the tip of his jaw down his chest. "I'm still... curious about what you have underneath it." His gulp was audible. It was simply so fascinating to see his reactions and it made Marinette want to keep teasing him.

For a long moment he looked like the physical equivalent of a spinning loader icon. "Wait, you're not making fun of me, are you?" She pulled his face toward hers, pressing her lips against his. She kissed him again, harder the second time after he looked so deliciously surprised. She got back onto her feet standing up from his lap and he numbly followed his gaze after her, forgetting that he had the rest of his body in his chair. "Wh-what--"

She smiled and partially bit her bottom lip. "So, still think I'm joking?" She spun one end of the robe's tie as a little show of impatience. "Like I said, there's more if you want it."

"Uh, I..." he trailed off, the fingers of his hand touching his lips where hers had been just a few seconds ago. "Is this real?" he asked, still apparently dazed. She sighed but kept a smile, placing her hands on her hips, which had apparently been enough to bring him back to the present. He braced his weight on the armrests and got halfway up. "Hell yeah, I want--"

"Sit down," she commanded. He dropped back into his chair, surprised. She unfastened the robe and let it slip off and fall into a pool of fabric at her heels. She hadn't had anything on underneath. She sat back in his lap, straddling him, watching his expression grow ever more wide-eyed and mesmerized. There was a little whine that escaped him as she leaned his head back, running her fingers through his hair and kissing him again. She pulled back, raising his chin further to find the zipper at his neck, and pulled the tab down. There were some intriguing shimmery purple striations across his chest that seemed to define the valleys of his muscles...

"Oh shit," he murmured. She giggled and bit at her bottom lip, then thought of a better place to set her teeth, nipping lightly at his neck while she unzipped the shirt or whatever it was all the way and pulled it off. Soon after he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her in a tight hug while he let out a shuddering sigh as she was pressed up against his bare chest.

She froze in place. "… Do you want me to stop?"

"No! No. Just need…" he groaned a little. The brainbots hovering nearby chirped quizzically. "Privacy." Whoops. She forgot they had cameras.

"You're not recording this, are you?"

He cleared his throat nervously. "Not... intentionally." Shit. At least he was honest. Oh well.

She leaned in to nibble at his ear and tugged at the earring stud. "Then take me to bed," Marinette growled. She had felt a burgeoning warmth press up against her inner thigh before, but she felt it -- him -- flare a little more when she growled. He liked that, then? Oh god, he whimpered when she pressed herself into that warmth. She was going have so much fun torturing him and she'd just barely begun. She was already reveling in the way he was responding to everything...

Apparently he felt a little in over his head. "A-are you sure?" he asked, a little breathless, his voice strained. She saw him swallow again. "It's... it's me," he continued, as if she hadn't been well aware of that and was mostly naked on top of him anyway. "You know, the villain?"

It was equal parts endearing and frustrating that he wanted to check like that. "Yes, I know. Now do you want me to fuck your brains out or not, Silencer?"

Whatever he'd been worried about halted abruptly. He nodded emphatically and mouthed a yes even though no sound came out. He stood up from the chair, supporting her weight by gripping onto her ass, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Yep, she could definitely feel the bulge in his pants. He groaned and shifted her so he could carry her in his arms bridal-style when she brushed up against it -- she was probably teasing him a little much. Thankfully it wasn't too long before they got to his room and he kicked the door closed behind him.

He didn't get a chance to go much further after that. Marinette pushed off from him and got back onto her feet, then pressed him up against the closed door. She brought him in for another kiss, one hand working its fingers through his hair and down his neck, the other hand causing him to jump a little when she cupped and squeezed his erection. "Mmm, too much?" she asked.

"N-no," he shook his head, half a shy smile on his face.

"Good." She pulled down both his pants and boxer briefs to mid thigh and got on her knees. He yelped in surprise but other than shivering he didn't move. He made little gasps as she kissed his inner thighs, then the delicate skin bridging his legs to his groin, deliberately putting her mouth anywhere but his penis, hearing him whine at the lack of attention to his most sensitive part.

Then she wrapped her fingers around the tip, running her tongue along the underside of his cock, marveling at the way it was so (thankfully) familiar but still uniquely his. His cock was oddly beautiful. There were... shimmering purple ridges and thick veins running across the length of his skin, accenting the normal coloring of blue at the base shifting to a lovely pink at the tip. She uncovered the head of his penis with her tongue, pushing his foreskin back gently, and then took him as far as she could into her mouth and squeezing the rest with a firm grip.

He groaned loudly at that, his hands reaching for anything to hold onto and ended up just bracing himself against the door as his entire body shook. It made her giddy that she was having this effect on him and she giggled with him still so full in her mouth. While he was already plenty hard and thick she felt him surge, making it harder to breathe, but all she was thinking about was how good it would feel when she would finally ride him.

She pulled her head back to take a breath, then ran her tongue across the flared ridge of his head, licking up the sticky fluid dripping from the very tip. She went down on him again, squeezing tighter with her hand gripped around the base. His moans were getting more strained, getting louder every time she took him in as deep as she could and pulled away, all up until he slammed a fist against the door and exploded in her mouth with a stifled yell.

He put a hand on her shoulder and pulled away from her when she swallowed and kept on going. "S-sorry," he breathed out, sliding down against the door until he landed on his ass. "That was... too good..." He was sweaty and breathing hard. She just smirked, satisfied with herself, pulling off his boots and finally taking off all of his clothing with no resistance on his part. Then she wordlessly lead him back to bed.

He turned her around and kissed her, pressing his tongue up against hers, and kept kissing her as he laid her down on her back across the bed, just at the edge of the mattress. He was already hard again, now that was fun, and she reached out and stroked him but he jerked back slightly. "Not yet," he laughed softly, placing her hand back on the bed. He kissed down her neck, seemingly encouraged by the soft little gasps she made. He moved further down, hesitantly resting his fingers around her breast, then squeezed, flicking a tongue across her hardened nipple.

"Mmm, yesss," she moaned, weaving her fingers through his hair, scoring lightly down his scalp and neck with her nails, causing him to shiver. He kissed down her stomach, and went further down still until he was on his knees between her legs, which Marinette was only happy to encourage. He lifted her hips a little, bringing her thighs over his shoulders and decided to pay her back for teasing him in kind, his mouth pressed against her inner thigh and ghosting his lips across everything but her pussy. She laughed.

He stuck his tongue deep in her.

"Ah!" She raised herself up further to get his tongue in even deeper. "God, yes, Silen--" He pulled away after lapping her up. She... didn't actually realize how wet she was until she felt his breath against her. It was both hot and cold at the same time. "Silencer?"

"Luka," he said quietly, but she heard him clearly enough.

"H-huh?" she asked, a little dazed. He sucked on the sensitive little nub, flicking his tongue across it, and she cried out an "Oh god, yes, there!" He pulled away again, a little further this time.

"I want you screaming out my real name," he said, voice dangerously low.

"Luka?" Marinette repeated. She saw his eyes darken at the mention and he dove his tongue back into her, tasted more of her juices, drank in more of her until she was dizzy. "Luk-aah!"

"Just like that," he sighed. He went back to devouring her, switching to lavishing her clit with attention, drawing circles with his tongue around her most sensitive part, then back to going as deep as he could with his tongue until she felt her blood rush to her core and she was screaming.

"God yes, yes, aaah!" Her back arched and everything in her body was taut, her mind's focus on the heat and the slick and her nerves lighting up bright as she came. She felt him holding her down as her body nearly writhed in the ecstasy, and he continued, her muscles tense and vibrating, aching now for something more... "Luka, I need you," she moaned, heady and nearly delirious.

He groaned and pulled his head back again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He buried his face in her thigh, nipping and sucking at the delicate skin until it left a mark. Marinette was still breathing a little ragged but the sounds escaping her mouth set him to get off his knees and do it again on her stomach and breasts. He stopped there and Marinette felt him shudder, his eyebrows furrowed in a wince. "I am so hard it hurts," he breathed out in a soft chuckle. Her toes curled as she imagined feeling his length sliding in her, hard and hot and spreading her wide.

Why the hell was she waiting? She wrapped her arms around his torso, pulling him in and rolling them over so she was on her knees straddling him again. "I want you to watch me fuck you, Luka." She sat up on his thighs, gripping him upright and sliding along his underside until she reached the tip and sank down slowly on him, making sure his eyes were on her. He was most definitely watching and she saw the furrows in his eyebrows deepen as she sheathed him, fully seated. "Did you like that?" She felt him tense beneath her.

"I--" she wasn't sure how his voice could break in the middle of a single syllable but that happened. He cleared his throat. "I did, yeah." She couldn't keep it serious and started laughing, especially since he was trying so hard to sound smooth. She bit her lip when she couldn't keep the grin off her face. She leaned back, getting back into business and watching his frown quickly turn into wonder, supporting herself by putting her hands on his thighs as she moved, letting him reach out and hold onto her hips. She lifted herself up and came back down, feeling him fill her up so full as she inched down, savoring the sensation. It wasn't long before she moved faster, squeezing him as hard as she could on the way down to get him to moan as loudly as he did before.

It wasn't long before he had started losing control. He gripped her hips tight and she saw him swallow hard. There were beads of sweat at his forehead and she was half starting to wonder if he was...

He pulled her down on him suddenly, an arm wrapped tight across her shoulders, pushing her hips hard against his with his other hand gripping her ass, his fingernails leaving marks into her skin as they dug into her flesh. "God, fuck, I'm coming," he breathed out through gritted teeth, jaw clenched tight. She clenched her core harder in turn, setting her teeth at his neck and biting down, reveling in the way he groaned and spasmed inside of her. She could feel how hard and fast his pulse was on her lips. There was a deeply primal sort of satisfaction in all of this.

"Ugh," he groaned in a much less sexy way. "Shit." He brought his hand to his face to hide his embarrassment. She started giggling again before she could catch herself.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, I swear." Actually she kinda was but it was over how powerful she felt bringing him to the brink that fast (honestly it was kind of flattering), and how stupidly cute he was being.

"I'm--we're not done." Before she could ask what that meant he rolled on top of her and kissed her, and to her surprise he was still hard inside of her. He pulled out slowly and sank into her deep, going a steady rhythm. She hooked her feet together behind him over his back, making sure he didn't dare pull out all the way. Their breathing grew rougher as they continued, tongues dancing together as they kissed. He dragged his lips from her mouth to her neck, to the sensitive spot behind her ear and she shivered and cried out beneath him. It felt so good with him inside her, his weight on top of her, his heart beating as fast as hers.

There it was, she could start to feel the tension down where they were joined, that hypersensitive tingle that told her that she was building up to something grand. She needed a bit more to push her to that peak... "Luka, harder, please -- I'm so close," she gasped out. He made a low, deep growl that left her tensing up in anticipation, then she held a hand above her head to brace against the headboard as she started to get driven into hard and fast. That was exactly what she needed. All of her senses rushed down her body to focus on his rock hard cock hitting her deep, stretching her open, so hot she was melting on him.

There it was, it was her turn to come hard, and she did. "Aah, Luka I'm coming--!" She was stretched so taut and he was so much bigger than what she was used to but she felt herself tighten and collapse into a singular point, squeezing him with so much pressure that he was gasping for air. He kept pounding his cock into her over and over while she kept screaming out his name.

He came again with a reverent murmur right before he kissed her. "God, Marinette, you're so amazing." She could feel his whole body turn rigid, felt his arms get threaded underneath her to hold her tight against him, and felt herself being flooded inside as he continued thrusting. But he was slowing down, falling back to his deep, languorous penetration.

God, they were both exhausted. She kissed up his neck, barely able to do anything else. She still had tiny little echos of her orgasm run through that made her shiver and him gasp as he was still inside her.

Maybe sometime in the morning they'd be able to figure out where to go from here. If she had the opportunity she would have heard him say she was the best thing to ever happen to him. She would have wondered about saying that she was his and had been for a while, and except for that whole villain business she was happy.

Except that Chat Noir had followed them. And was waiting outside.

And he was pissed.

⁂

Additional notes:

Jellyfish launcher :p

I'd been imagining a little bit of Divinity: Original Sins 2 elves for how Silencer/Luka's built?

DEFO NSFW but I was also sorta thinking BadDragon's Elliot >_>

I kinda love that I switched the chill levels of Marinette and Luka. Luka's the one with high anxiety around Marinette. Marinette just wants to kiss him (and more).

#fxl fic #rating E #lukanette #lukanette endgame #endgame lukanette #megamind au #angstyish #surprise ending? #Dunno man I just thought it fit #luka couffaine #villain!luka #marinette dupain cheng #felinette #sorta #but not rlly lmao #smutty literature

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

OM

Ladybug, whispering to Chat Noir: We gotta split 'em up. Draw the girl in red away from little miss magician, I'll fight her and see if she has the akuma.

Chat: Hey big bad wolf, I bet you can't catch me!

Red: ...B-bad wolf... can't d-do anything right... I'm s-sorry for not being good enough... *crying intensifies*

Wicked Witch: *A N G E R *

Ladybug and Chat: oh fuck

It’s a delicate situation

#Other magic au

[artistic-writer]

Do you have a favorite smut writer ? Or like a list of stories that you consider your favorite? Btw you’re one of my favorites :)

Hey nonnie, thank you for your compliment!  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside <3

I actually do not have a favourite smut writer.  I don’t even have a favourite non-smut writer, because I will read pretty much anything if the plot grabs me.  That’s right - I don’t just read smut!  Shock, I know.  Here is a list of authors and their fics that appear on the first 3 pages of my ao3 history.

@hookedonapirate - Anything by Hannah is a guaranteed lady boner!  And who doesn’t love a fic that starts with Killian drunk in a bath wanking! ;)  Read any of her fics for the fucking and the feels, especially A Helping Hand.  She is my brother in arms with her ‘Oh Daddy’ series of daddy!kink fics and her use of the word ‘cock’ makes me tingle.

@hollyethecurious - I love Hollye.  It’s no secret (deal with it).  She writes the whump so lovely, as well as some deliciously close to the edge M rated stuff - don’t worry, I am trying to push her over to the E side of the fence ;)  The Legend of Captain Killian Jones touches me in all the right places, as does Varlcolac: A Hybrid Tale.

@totheendoftheworldortime - Not for everyone (or for everyone in secret), Michelle writes the most delicious Killian/Emma/Liam smut which has evolved into quite the dramatic story over time!  Give it a go ;)

@unfolded73 - Pile on the dub con with a little smut mixed in, because as long as its in fantasy, it’s okay. right? ;) Try The Nonlinear Property of Time or Good Things to Think About

@shardminds - Ems can write cock with the best of us, but what she does is throw in all these FEELINGS into her eloquent poetry style writing that makes me endlessly jealous.  And she is an out and proud ABO fic writer!  Try I would stop the world for you and fortune favours the brave and tell me I am wrong.

@doodlelolly0910 - My fellow ABO cohort and all out fantastic human being all by herself, Jen deserves you all to go and read her stuff and spam her email inbox with kudos and comments <3  

@kymbersmith-90 - Kym writes a ton of great fics, and I won’t lie, I haven’t had time to read them all, but the ones i HAVE read are fantastic.  Of particular fancy for me is Ethical Conflicts because I love me an age gap :D

@wellhellotragic - I have always believed that Shan and I are cut from the same angst cloth.  Read Nuuk and Ocean Blue and fight me.

@ineffablecolors - Not only is my life better for having met and shared churros with this lovely human being, but before she jumped fandoms, Lyublyana made me FEELS ALL THESE THINGS with her wonderful fic, The Wife. Read it. Now.

@donteattheappleshook - Maddie is a recent addition to my obessive reading schedule and can say she is one of THE ONLY authors to have written a canon divergent fic that I read.  I was promised hurt and she did not disappoint.  Read Stone Hearts and then Of Cars and Bars to make yourself feel better ;)  And if that wasn’t good enough, @teamhook is the BEST WORST enabler and saw Maddie team up with Hollye to write Your Pole or Mine.  Bow chica wow wow.

And last but not least.....

@thisonesatellite - Have you ever just wanted to read a REALLY GOOD dystopian future type fic with your favourite ship? Stephanie has you covered.  We kill the flame is the fic you are looking for.  Or want a REALLY GOOD and infuriatingly addictive noir crime fic? She got you, fam. if you live by the word, you die by the pen will tick all of the boxes you require.

now go!  Read!

#Anonymous #cs fic recs #fic recs

[kravitzz]

Podcast Recs 2019

Hey there! I’ve updated my list of podcast recommendations for 2019. This includes anything from my top favorites to stuff I haven’t gotten around to listening to yet! For a more up to date version of this list, please go here. 

 * = Favorite! ! = Caught Up # = In progress + = Need to listen

Fiction: *! Wolf 359: Starts off as a goofy space station slice-of-life comedy and spirals into something way, way deeper. Great characters, fantastic plot, and a really great concept overall. *# The Penumbra Podcast: A couple different plots, but primarily a futuristic space noir story. Really cheesy but in the best way, also super LGBT and fantastic and it just makes me so happy. # Beef and Dairy Network Podcast: Just a completely normal podcast about the inner workings of the beef and dairy industry. Nothing weird here, not at all. # Hello From The Magic Tavern: A podcast transmitted from the magical land of Foon! Really chill and funny improvised stuff # King Falls AM: A fun paranormal radio show sort of deal. I’m not far in enough to describe it better. # EOS 10: Doctors in space! It’s gay and funny and suspenseful, I adore the hell out of the writing.  # The Bright Sessions: Superhero therapy! Incredible character building, really cool show. # Within the Wires: I’m only an ep in and uh. I have no fucking clue what’s happening but it’s cool as shit so far.  # Everything Is Alive: A podcast where a guy interviews inanimate objects! It’s interesting and fun. *# Welcome to Nightvale: A classic! A radio show in a desert town that’s much odder than it seems.  # Done Disappeared: A parody of true-crime investigation podcasts. Dumb and funny.

+ Jim Robbie and the Wanderers + Dopple Avenue Hurt + The Thrilling Adventure Hour + Wooden Overcoats + Ars Paradoxica + The Far Meridian + The Strange Case of Starship Iris + Girl In Space + Inkwyrm + Immunities + Mission to Zixx +Kaleidotrope +Midnight Radio

Horror: *# The Magnus Archives: Jonathan Sims, head archivist of a paranormal research institute in London, reads the statements of people who have experienced horrifying things. Things go south very quickly for him and his assistants. HEAVY trigger warning, since it includes lots of the typical horror things such as gore, bugs, cannibalism, etc, but if you can handle it, I highly recommend this show. The writing and characters are so good. *! SCP Archives: Performed readings of different SCP stories. If you like SCP, this show is really good! # Alice Isn’t Dead: A fantastic spooky adventure with a gal trucking across the U.S. to find her missing wife! Made by the Nightvale folks, and it’s really intriguing and well produced. # The NoSleep Podcast: Different horror stories from r/nosleep, acted and read aloud. Varies in quality, but is generally pretty good! Gets better in the later seasons. # Limetown: A well-known faux-journalism horror story. The first season is very good, I haven’t listened to the second yet. # Mabel: It’s been a while since I listened to this one, so I don’t remember much other than it being very, very spooky. # The Black Tapes: The ending isn’t good, but the rest was great. They’re apparently continuing, so hopefully the ending will be fixed.

+ The Blood Crow Stories + The Alexandria Archive + TANIS + Rabbits D&D/Actual Play: *! The Adventure Zone: Look. You know this one. An actual-play podcast that starts off slow and picks up really quickly. 80% comedy, 20% plot, and 100% amazing. Balance is the first campaign and is D&D and a mix of fantasy and sci-fi. *# Critical Role: I’ve been riding with this show for years now, but I haven’t actually listened to the podcast format of it! The show itself is fantastic though, so I’m still recommending it. Follow the in-progress D&D adventure of a bunch of great voice actors. Sorta the flip of TAZ, in that it’s like 80% plot and 20% comedy. Also 100% crying. Their first campaign is complete, and they’re currently partially through their second. # Godsfall: A pretty rules-heavy DND podcast. Really really well produced. # Friends At The Table: Not really far in enough to make much judgement! + Heroes and Halfwits + Tabletop Champions + Join the Party + Dames & Dragons + Bombarded + The Mortal Path + Dnduet + The Venture Maidens + The Broad Swords + Six Feats Under

Nonfiction: # Wonderful!: Happy and pure, Griffin and Rachel Mcelroy talk about things that make them happy. I enjoy listening to random episodes when I need a pick-me-up. # Oh No, Ross and Carrie!: Ross and Carrie go around and investigate different fringe science, paranormal, and spiritual things. They’re super fun to listen to! + The Worst Bestsellers + Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men + Mysterious Universe + Bunker Buddies + Imaginary Worlds + Conversations With People Who Hate Me + Dead Pilots Society + Harry Potter and the Sacred Text + Storybreak + Shmanners + Positiviteeny! + Still Buffering + The Supermega Podcast Comedy: *# My Brother, My Brother, and Me: Really good goofs and advice from the Mcelroy brothers. It’s so good. # Sawbones: Medical history with Sydnee and Justin Mcelroy! Sydnee is an actual doctor, so it’s a wonderful combo of dumb humor and really good information. # My Dad Wrote A Porno: Title kind of says it all. Very, very funny. + What Should We Draw? + Revisionist History + Hardcore History + More Perfect + Making a Podcast with Myself True Crime/Supernatural: *# My Favorite Murder: True crime and murder stories, as told by some very cool and funny ladies. They’re like my goth comedian moms. # Heaven’s Gate: A podcast about the cult Heaven’s Gate. Only 10 episodes, really interesting and well produced. # Lore: I listened to this forever ago and loved it! Really good paranormal and spooky stories. # And That’s Why We Drink: Em and Christine talk about the paranormal and true crime while getting drunk and chatting about their lives! They have a great dynamic and it’s just a fun comfy show to listen to. + Judge John Hodgman +Spirits + Blurry Photos + Expanded Perspectives + Wine and Crime + Cabinet of Curiosities Journalism:

*# 99% Invisible: Beautifully written and edited journalism about design and life. I love the hell out of this podcast. *# Reply All: Journalism and weird stories about technology and the different ways it affects us. I highly recommend listening to episode #102 and #103, Long Distance, if you want an incredibly interesting story about spam callers and trying to hunt them down. # Ear Hustle: Stories about the life of prisoners, made by a prisoner! Really interesting journalism. # Setting the Record Queer: A queer interview show. Pretty new but really fun! # Twenty Thousand Hertz: A podcast about sound design and things relating to it. Very well produced and interesting. + Family Ghosts + Ologies

#podcasts #podcast recs #rambles #not taz

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars:         Season 2

      Episode 1 Holocron Heist

We just   had     a heist

[One   nonsense    enough    to knock    me into   nonsensical   incoherent      rambling...]

    Two

Okay...

I’m prepared...

To do.   nonsense...

  Urgh

   Okay..

[Title      Screen]

  [Woah!]

    ....  ..    

Aight

    Okay

A lesson learned,    A lesson earned

Oh..

     That         snapped me out of it,

     A lesson earned                  is           a lesson earned

        [you don’t need a        person to tell you     basic         common sense                                you can figure out yourself]

  ....

   Assumed authority is     bullshit                                       Don’t need to                                    earn any-      [Sorry,              Still           Recov-       er-         ing           From           Last          ep-        Isode]

                  Okay...

                   Any-way

                   Jedi on a                        planet                             . .

                     Some-how                         tr                            ap                               ped                                 -                          Surrounded                               Clones                                  -                                Right-                                     -                           Why?

                           Like - if you needed parts-

                           Okay-

                             I’m                                  in  

                               -terested

                                 Any way...

                                     Wait                                      cruisers?  

                                      Gun   ships?                                                                   R-escue

                                       Oh                                              wait-

                                          That’s                                              Good

                                            Oh                                                  No,

                                              It’s                                                    Plo..

Jokes       About       How       He      Got       His      Men      Blown      Up                         Just                                gonna                                 put                                   this                                 over                                 here

                              Been a                                 while

Also Hey     yeah      what         is         he        doing         here?

  Doesn’t         he       have      Jedi        things        to       do?

      Get           a         new         fleet?

        I mean                th-            (Don’t                Condone               Child               So-                L                diers!)

  But    every     time       it’s     always    Obi-Wan      and    Anakin    because        all         the           rest        of          them        are         too        busy

     So             What-

     Alright          -          Whelp           -          I      don’t       care         —-

   Whelp          —        Ex-plo          —         Is      this       just       going         to       be       an     action        piece?        (Nothing       wrong        with           that;           just        need           a      different      mindset,)

     From          the     applications             of        child       soldiers           -          To          Shoot-

    -Why?

      It’s-       Nice-

-Droids

   Plo-

 General-

     ?

Ev-

Neat-

Good-

 Whelp-

  Grab ‘em to the medic        And Go!

   (Seriously       Windu figured this out yesterday.)

    Grunts

    You’d         think        the Jedi would give the      order?

Seriously,         Good miss,          Five           Min-           Got          Some           One-          Killed

   “ Asoka,”

   First Asoka       mention in the first five minutes

                                [maybe they got her character                                     better.]

                                  -Jungle

                                    You sent-                                         A child

                                    That                                        Logically can’t improvise                                      ...                                              Into                                              a jungle

                                      ....

                                      The  

                                     Fuck    

                                    Skywalker?                                     

Con-tact      Her        -         Dead      -       She’s very likely      dead-       -      Anyway       -        Hope   Anakin     taught       her    those    moves-       -      That’s       a      lot       of     emotion          -           In        the        movements;         Again;

     Monotonous,           Stunted,            Robo              Tot              -ic

         That’s                How              Child-

Nope-

   Tone’s          Off

So,         just           to           go            over;

       1. Tone ❌        2.  Dia-                  Log                   Ue- (?)

        3. Move               -ment    ❌

              I’m hop-

Extract-

     Taught-  

     Okay- 

     Teach         -ing   s

     Aight           Mary          Sue-

      I’m        sorry         but         the        light          is       literally       coming         out!

      Whelp-

      Okay-

        So it’s Ahsoka an    adult yet?

         Like that can be explained away as   acco-untability

          Otherwise,     she should   have a hard time        with        one       Droid!

      (No wait didn’t Obi-Wan just call her                  ‘young one ‘)?

                 Nope!

           Movie, get over there in your               shame corner

  That-        Was painful       over-      reacting

 And         Focus-

   I    Don’t        -      You    couldn’t      have     forced          it     more             if     you    tried         -

        The             Force-           d cha-          nge i          -n         Perspective           Not      Apprec  -iate      D-        . . .    .      Moving         on

  Whelp        ...

    Get            In          -

   That’s           a      direct      order-         -

  “Can’t-”

   Nope!

   That’s            It-

   Tone ❌

   Dialogue; ❌,?

   Move;   ❌    Ment

  Turn in your bad  

  writing card,    

   Movie

   ❌

 (Not a series strike,        Just             A          “Fuck         You,          Strike

          On the            Movie                 And,                This            Chara              -cter

                               (We just had such a good-

                                              Maybe; it gets better?

                                                                               Skipped ahead;                                                                                          It doesn’t

                                                                                       Sigh-

                                                                              *Puts on earmuffs

                                                                                 Meta-phorically

Aight      Back        To       19:06      (Original      time     stamp;           Play

*Think

 Friendly      Fire-

 Nvm

*Thing      Ex-plodes

   In-       stantly

Whelp-     

 You   called       her   before      a   council            ??

   Child          -ren          Can’t          Think           -

Okay

        Movie

       Children                  can’t                         think-

    From ag-

      “This is-”. 

       It should                    be   

         -But                           The              writers                        -                refuse                      to                  write                                  her                                   as                                   child                           -       

The       Pro-

“I-

The          Pro-            Blem         As         the     story       seems   to         be        placing            the               Jedi            on            a            high          pedestal     

        .....                Their             actions               here                as              reasonable       

           .....                         But                          it’s                  not                            ...                If Ahsoka was a child it would be a cruel use of power showing how used only to put the younger generation down before they’re                  old enough to understand it

              And how they’ve given Anakin the illusion of power   

                  -Boomer                               Bait

              If she’s an adult;                           This would be a show of        how             she’s childified by her peers

               As it stands;       

               The writers refuse to chose

Concerning,  due to the fact that  

Child-ify                 Ing            An                Adult       ......    Is    Wrong

  And      adult-ify        ing        a       child       is    wrong         ...      

  Un        equivocally,

Tally    Of       How     Many       Times       Ahsoka-        Is        Adult          -ify          Ied-           ;     

      This is necessary

 [Excuse for odd formatting           The “Movie”,                (Under the                picture)                  Caused                    Tumblr                    To                  heck                   up                  my               spacing)

           Continuing                   on;

“Time    away      from     the      battle-       field,”

  Good,        For          A        Child       Solider        -     (And   would’ve     been       a     good     show      that      any     kind   -ness     from     them       is   performative           ...

                   “Guard duty,”

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         1

 Cite;      Child     ren    Don’t       have     that    much   emotion,        Nor    Pre-      fer      ence-        -

                 “Longer                       now,”

                    Dick                         —-                     Kinda

                     It’s                          better                            for                           children                             not                              to                               be                                in                              battle                                  —

                              So                                 not                                     a                                  complete                                    dick...

                                But                                   not                                    optimal...

                                 “Sorry”

So he said by people who don’t wanna take accountability for their actions and just stop doing the thing and     stop bringing the toxins into the world                                  

Point;     If you    were sorry    you would       stop     doing it,       stop     bringing         it        up,       and            do      better...     —-       Trying         to       control         the      narrative         isn’t          nice          (When           the          truth            is        objective)

       Only           the           self           may            be          both             .....

Security      -

  “Knowledge,”

    *Bag-age

      “Hm,”

  . .. .

   ...

...

Fisto  

...

 In-side

 St-upid      Forbid       Den    

Know-ledge

   (It’s likely   about     plants        Or      Weapons)

Also;

     Boomer         Bait!    

     (That’s something they offer younger         generations to follow their           stupid outdated tradition)

      It’s always          worse...

     (Also, this isn’t about Ahsoka trying to steal the         Holocon thing is it?

      Because her character is already                                                  -hateable- enough

        And if she has enough initiative             to steal the holocon

          - She’s an adult

           And should              be allowed entrance             anyway

          “Jedi            Council,”

             So,                  lady was a Jedi?

               Aight,

                Keeping an eye                     on that                        ...                  Aight                       -   

                 No

                 Went through one.                     drug trip

                   Already

                   .....

                 [Okay...

                ..Got                   a Drink                  of water                   ——                        Interrupt                     -ion

                  Wait I thought he was just a                     ball of                     fuck your plot

                  You’re telling me he actually works                      for                       Palpatine?

After   threaten       ing      Palpatine?

   This      dude           -        fucking         drug           trip            -

...Ser     vices

    I       honestly       thought          he         was             a          [fuck           your          shit]            guy

Now    he’s      a     de   tec- tive

Noir    ....

Movie     that’s      too      many     genres        .....

  You-     need       to    slow   down      .

          Your main            Chara-                   Isn’t                 Even               Esta-                    Blish                      -ed                      Prop                          er                         Ly

            Nevermind                    the           characterization

                 Note if it had been established he changes things every so often that would be neat

                 As                   it stands

               This                  dude is a                 fecking roller coaster

             Not any                thing                resembling                   good

[Giving    your      aud-   ience     a       drug   trip   isn’t   good   writing]

      It makes        them         dizzy!]

      So...       

    Holocron

    Like Palpatine is literally doing this just to fuck over       Ahsoka?

     Also, this is going to result in Ahsoka    being     unchild     -like       To take them out      too?

   I’ll get the -      counter     ready

[yes I have seen it    literally            every   Mall cop/ security guard movie   ever

The   fun     .    seeing how your    (Good)    chara      cters         -     interact     with      the   scenario          -       That’s      not   happening       here        -          If she was a child this would show how    Anakin‘s orders react with the environment

    If       she’s      an    adult;        We’re working through a checklist;         About        what we know about         her;

      Likes, dislikes, how they might come up in a   situation...

       The suspension...            coming when they do

With      Ahsoka...

  What do we know about her?

   Honestly?

    We know she likes         fighting         (Already in enabler of toxic behavior           -against other living beings)

       We know literally       nothing else about          her

       Except...

      That she’s      perfect...

Re-moving         All      Tension;

  Deal

I’m surprise he just wasn’t like    oh      yeah      sure,”

   [Ditches         with       the money]

    ...         ..

   Oh they’re actually talking   strategy

   Usually it’s just         ‘fuck em’ up            And that’s all             we ever           hear

Er-

Whelp-     Yodi’s    dead

Alas,       Poor      Narc

[assuming he can actually sense     disorder in the ranks]

 Gen.      Leader      Ship.      Tox

 He should know     he shouldn’t be doing that

  Focusing     on him       self

    And        practic        ing     accountability          ....       Constantly     micromanaging           and      checking            in            on             your           peers                   ..            Isn’t           going          to make             them           more           likely           to be       accountable..

        It’s         going            to          piss         them             off              ...

      Your (evident) distrust creating a toxic environment              As you were refused to               trust their   char   -acter

  You can’t give me   respect the guy that was just snooping      (Through the whole   uni-verse)

      That’s           the         point...

         A         dis-turbance          in the force

     Yeah?

     Intruders there will   be

     Okay, bullshit       he can see that

   Like;           Peri-pheral            Okay

    (Still tox that you don’t expect your peers          in a peripheral.          to be able to hold             accountability)

But this is galaxies     away        (Ac-tually.    on    Corousant)

  But.      He         Should        n’t       Know        That-

  ‘The      Narcs    pulling    authority     again,       master,”

  “Shh,       this         is         what         we        train-    I mean groom -        you         for!,”

     “But          You            Said,”

      (Con-tinuing             Earl-ier,)

   [Seriously        I meant to bring it up                                earlier,

             But are they really inhabiting                      Zero the hutt’s                         old hotel]

Like it could just be a Noir hotel

 But the positioning       and location         seem         familiar             . . .

     Tell        me...

    Who          the       frick           is          this?            ?

   “What            you        are      doing      back      there?”

    ...   ..

  Aight...

 Assis      -tance

    God          Lord,           He’s           Try             -ing

        -

    Main     tenance

     If I don’t idea   (who this guy was )or what was going on    then maybe that would make sense

       As it stands,             Nope,

        Crash-               es

        What’s             that?

         ....

       What?

       Seriously.             all he did was put another thing into another thing?

        ???

        ...

      Aww, he actually trusts           Bane..

    Thank you         ...

    Door..

    Techno         Service         ...       Droid

     As in a      “tech      -nical  service droid?          (Rt          (IT)     Tech             Guy?

     Or a technical     assistant         (One made of       tech)?

      (Or one specializing in    techno dance moves?)

     Also   is he supposed to get them      in?

  Is    that thing?

 They-   didn’t     really     establish     much-

 Butler      Droid...

Change?

 Todo...   “You are what I say    you are,”

Roomba- kicker

Also, having a roommate is just straight up       detective fiction...

 Like     buddy-cop detective but still     detective

  With noir,      Which       is supposed to be focused on independence        Dis(trust) in society        Which is       admittedly       (toxic)

   Or         seems          to be

     Those two   themes...

          Directly contra-      dictory

[with   Griev-      ous     they       made       it    work,     But     he   wasn’t      this    -         ]

“Uh,”

You    are    not   “The   Doctor,”       -      [that work      ed as    manif-   estation      Of    Greiv-     Ous’s      Toxic    Be-      Hav       -ior-         And      Human      Want        For        Com-        Pan    Ion-        Ship        -       Or         At        Least-      Vul-          Ner-          Aba-              ili            Ty-           -           This          Guy            -          So far he’s a       n(e)igh        invulnerable       Douche          Bag            -            With           No            -thing          Humane-            -           Not           quite      Ahsoka         levels              -       Intend       -ed           To be          an adult            -          Just-            -            Really needing to go     ham -           On the arrogance            And            inhumanity               (He sold his soul for      money- But makes it look      so good- what                    he                   does-                  Gets a sick       kinda  enjoyment from it,”)

             That’s how you   have,  to pull it off

             As it stands;    there’s      no    emotion     with      this    character

Is   the   robot   supposed to be like his   morality pet?

But he’s a   dick to   him   too

Really   he gets nothing   from me

How do even in the    “I-don’t-feel-anything-I’m-so-edgy-and-cool     look at me!’

  Vibes

   There’s nothing     fun...

   Yeah you can throw all the   ...clichés         you want in there

   [But that doesn’t work       if you don’t use them          properly]

     [I see the team up        with a female bounty       -hunter]

    [Predictable         “I work Alone...]           The only thing          those stories               share

            In minute]

But ‘once the effect of’   ‘wow that’s a lot of things.    Has worn off

 The story and character left   heartless

“Non-of- your       Bus-        iness,”

  Doesn’t have the     cockiness to make it      work

  [this isn’t    power-         Ful-]

    Down       right        ..cringe

      As it tries to shove shove two genres.. .    At least...        That don’t          Quite          .work                ...

        Least not the   way they’re trying to make them     work  

.....

..Today

 It’s noir

 The point is      no one’s          in a    good mood.. ...

Aight,

Wasn’t that-

Also,   shouldn’t      he    know-

 Based on how      open-     She     is-      To un-     veiling        her       mask..

   - -

   Robot

So sh-   ouldn’t she ask the robot to leave the room?

(If it’s such a big deal     to her?”)

   He can just run their       face through a     face scan       no?

 Mid-rim

   I thought he didn’t have a way   in?    [That’s a   pretty pathetic   way in.. .]

    [Palpatine’s      screwing           with            him]

       [Giv           -ing            Him             a          hard          time         and       satis    -iating           -          The    ab-    omin-      ations    desire      for    blood🎵,

    Two      birds,         one       stone,

     Also,       Movie,           That’s           the       wrong      amount         of      planning           for        the      wrong      genre          -        We don’t care how the   bank ro    -bbers      Art      -thieves

      Got           There

       This           isn’t           Heist              -           [Money           Heist,              Not              Terr-              Esc]             Got              It           Wrong              [Pre              dict-                   The                  Plot-]               Last                Time.                -

           The                 Focus              isn’t           Character              building-                  - it’s the                   ‘out of depth                     characters reaction to the                    scenario,’

And the wacky hijinks that    ensue

 Using their   talents...    

   Contrast-      ed against the environment        (Mall        cop        example]     

     Which seems to be the best       fit

   Stealing         the-  Holocron-           -         WHAT WAS THE         PURPOSE-

        Well-                At least they ack          -now-ledged                 Planning          really isn’t part of the subset,

                 Good                    (For them?)

                Aight                    Impossible                     ...

             What are the              emotions?

           [like they              literally.             just through in                   the              “the only place...”

             Why..?

             So quick rehash                    (Sorry                      but I can feel the                        drug                          trip coming through,)

                      (Effects-                             Of                            Dealing-                           With                              (bad) excess character;

                         (Deserts                               Metal...)

                       [Refresh]

                       He has a map of the Jedi temple                            Chip                            (Oh so that’s what that-                              (Isn’t he                            still-)  

                    [Changlin’]

                     Aight

                 Bog

                  [Refresh                        End]

                  [Voice                       acting?

                  [Mouth                         sync]

                      ...                        ..                      Aight

                      ..

                    In                         Tru-

                   Maybe                       take                        the                       teen- off guard duty

                     A thought

                    [but-seriously

                       No high                           Alert?

                        Only these   two..?

                        Info-     -Mation

                      Baggage

Seriously money would be a better   option

                        Or       just    street     cred

                     (Adult) humans,                         Aren’t that Liniar...

                    Any way...

                    East   Tower                          ....

  Well that’s better than some   dusty    old     books        -      Holos

  (Seriously at least that’s   present    baggage.)

  Whelp

   Nobody       notices         this       bullshit!

       On a supposedly          secure a       military          base            ....        ...

      Also in the Mid- day break           fecking           daylight!               (With the         hiest it made sense,                 That was a hostage                 political situation                Meant                  to draw in a huge                                              crowd;

               How?

              Cool                   Alright,

               Hey                   isn’t                   she                supposed                     to                      be                    standing                      still?

                 (Guard)

                  Doing patrols?

                   Like                       no                    emotion,                       Face                     Forward,                    Professiona                  -lism

                Not                 Greeter

             (Didn’t they literally call it       guard duty?)

              Like just say you’re sending her to   library service...

              Assis                  -tance

              Again,                  Wrong                     Field...

              They’d                    be                  talking                     to                    the                  library                   helper                    (Official)                      Con-

                 Bother

Not   how a   child   reacts Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         2/3  

   Cite;      Asoka       shows    intentional       over involvement      instincts        more       befitting          of          an          adult            ....

     Good

     Fully    understand        able      reaction          (Kinda)

    (Don’t          yell         at       children)

      Don’t      over involve       yourself             in          the          future            ....

    (But if you’re an        over-         involv         ed         and           (un-)childlike       abomination              (Getting          shoved             for              this                is               likely                 going                  to               happen)

              Dude was actually nicer than       an adult

             Enabler

             (Rule                    Of                    Excess                   Society;                    While                   excess                  verbalization                         is                      ex-                  pected,                   Getting                   in                     someone’s                   way                    (non-sport                        Ing-)                         (Or con     -ferr       ed-)            U-pon

                       Is                          not,                            Attemp                          ting                            to                          move                           them                             away                               the                           customary                                five                              times                                is                            expected)

                            Aight,

So the librarian was right there as     she     harassed        her     client)

    (Not saying; ��         But           you should get involved        in tox that doesn’t involve you)

      Just don’t         think that would excuse           Her         from ire

      “I can’t do anything right,”

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-       3/4

 Cite;      Child         -ren          Aren’t aware of      self        Ahsoka would repeat a line      blank       -ly

   “Likely      ‘sorry’

   Then back   away

  [Or      the      or     dered    rea       ction-)

    Aight

   Whelp

   Yes

   Just at the librarian be the      pro tag

(She’s      Tox        But..    .        Less         Tox..    ...

   But           Still..

  [Make         [Better]   Pro-ta  g        Than      Ahsoka           ]     

   In..   ...

  That’s a        library   computer..

   You      need        a      pass-        word.       -    The     robot-

   How?

  -

  What?

  Weak     Point?

  You know for     Boomer bait         They      mis-construe        How the library        works a lot

     [I know           -Hav-             Ing            Dealt-]

       Talk-ing            in the            library,

         Is pretty           off

         Like there’s        a reason people are encouraged            to go into the hallway             to take phone calls

          Loud

         These are the guys that value    meditation

          Dude.     Would be shushed       By   Several     irate      Jedi          ...  

    Told to     take it      outside          ...      ...

   I-

[I feel bad   For the Roomba]

[like dude, gaslights him      and then takes       his memory]

Like, Adults      Out     of     it.   ...

  But      ...Droids

   [we don’t know much about the       sentient ones     Or how much   senti ence]

    But          this         whole       scene...

    Makes me feel     dirty

    Like;       it’s played     for humor

    When;       it should be played            to how much         a bastard           this guy               is

      Screw-   ing         with       anything-  

       Like            That              ...  

      Toxic            ...    

      Sick..

  How?

     Aight..

    What.         .

    Re-          Cyc

    Why?         ... ..

Kenobi

Jump-ing coincidence

     [i’m con   -clusion]

       Damn,        the narc

         [No one   tell him   anything]

   [Might       fake         a       heart       attack]

    Comm.

     [How half assed is         Yoda’s peripheral?]

     Venti -lation

  -That’s        Smart-

   Almost       -Too             -Smart-

        👍  

  -Tower

    High         Alert

   Place            the       Temple        -

    Wasn’t, already?

    Left it undone

   Way to go     smart     guy           -      Cool        -        But      kinda    pointless..

 Aight-       Never mind

  I-  Might’ve       Been      Wrong-

 Al right

[Seriously,   no one hears this?]

 [In most heist movies      they at least had the    intelli-     gence-

    [No hate       -villains can be stupid]

  Do you some small well           re-lativel unknown library

   [or at least not the one     at the place they were robbing]

   Because everyone would      recognize that the actions occurring match up to what he’s describing         And the description        Of their       building.]

   Aight

   Neat-

   Past

  Whelp-

  Aight-

  Shred-          (Un-acc         Oun         T-able)

     K-Pop

     Well        that’s            a       name...

    Whelp..

Cool.. ..

Bane    ...

Whole..     temple

   And I heard you very          obviously        plotting...  

   So...  you’re getting kicked

Also he could be possibly looking up     intruders plans.. ...

Like pretty one dimensional     opinion    of on ‘High Alert’, lady

  [Especially       for a         librarian.]

Thank    you

 Whelp...

  There went my expectations

   Also,     Every Jedi leaving the library didn’t notice that that     shit?

   Like,  they didn’t have guard’s ready to apprehend him 

   ...On the           Other              Side?

         Okay...

         You just           moved her...

         Do you know this could’ve been an episode             with a lot of emotional depth              Showing how terrifying adults that abuse children can be             adults that            swear to have their interest in heart               And how overinvolvement               Is harmful              regardless of who it’s coming from                (Neglect- of child-                   And - accoun                       tability)                   Working off the                “blank line”,                 ‘I can’t do             anything right,’                    And the Jedi                -Council’s treatment of                   her                “Foreshadow                   -Ing,”                    (I use              that word              loosely)   

            Their            down-                fall

             Instead                     we                got                  this-

           And              he just abandons            the computer-

     Aight,             Just contin          -ued on - with          -out his         instruction

       Despite          see-ing           how bad           that          went.       Al-right

     Okay-

    Aight

    Really?

   Without    instructions?

   .

   In

    Calls       friend

     You were               fine       without him       the last few        seconds              .....

      “Give-”

   Not gonna      question that?

      “Voice-”

       She’s            a changling..

            “Now,”

          Hidden

          You’re              in a vent?

           Oh, Skywalker has           immediate            intuition               ...

           And a breech           didn’t somehow sound off alarms

          Yeah. .             Good..thing you didn’t close up the thing              ..

        Whelp..

        How?

       Okay. .

      Shame..           they didn’t get a hold of a force sensitive         kid             (I- don’t want it to       happen)

       Just-

      .. .

   .. Here

     Hurry          I can         Hear..       .        Bull-        Shit         .

   You have rocket boots        they have the force

    You shouldn’t         hear shit-

   Sur-prisingly,         No Ahsoka

     Good

    The lower       the counter stays..   

       The        better          for       humanity

 [and my      brain]

   [Vent]

   Seriously,       you didn’t tell your       partner?        About the Jedi on       High Alert?

   Ser-          Force-

   How deep         is that        thing?

   [Aight,          Pat-

    You’re telling me they still haven’t figured out the        Holocron?

     We only           saw-

     Shouldn’t one of you go one way and the        other go the other?

    To cover     more ground?

    They’re-        Really       putting       a lot      of faith-

In the   Comms

  Also shouldn’t there be more   Jedi crawling over the place?

   Seriously,         it’s just these two?

     [We know Plo       isn’t doing anything important.]

    [We saw       him near the opening?]

    And        Kid Fisto..

     Heck...          Is   everybody else doing?

    A-ight

   “Closer,”

    Shouldn’t it be      ..further

     Archive..     [Library]         Comms?

     Got it-

     Whelp..

      Okay..

      Not, putting up that       door,

      What are you         smiling about?

      There’s plenty of lasers

     And      you don’t even know        where the thing       you’re looking for               is

           (Inside the compartment)

      ....

   Aight

   Might- not have been a   smile-

    Look for       the open         vent   

    (Dude clum-           Un-          Acc             ountable)

       With             Vents

        Also look at all these        assholes standing around          doing nothing

  Also, no one’s going to check up on the child 

  Like, Ahsoka surely got that message      right?

   Temple-

   Deep in the         temple-

   Use-less

      ...

    ‘Cause you’re idiots       who don’t check for open vents           Or cover      more ground?

   Or...  

    [Get, anyone to help you, in this big ass vent,”

   It’s not very hard to see       why.. .

   Ass         -itance

  Ahsoka’s,         not gonna get blamed for this      is she?

   Won-

   Yeah, the narcs      pretty     useless

    Also, why can’t you have the dude just shut off those lasers like he did the rest?

  Done

    Oh, they address it   

     Good,

     Yep,

     How?

     But...

   Okay...   

...

    Okay   

   ....  

    What’re you         still       doing          ...

   Okay,

  What’re        you      doing?

   [Is the Holocron seriously right       there?]

     That’s. lucky

      Weirder               and             Wei-rder

         Hey isn’t your personality        over-written?

           By the               chip?

            Aight

          S-eriously?

         Still              Here?

         On- alert-?

Coin-     cidence?        !

  Augh

    Is that’s seriously the alert?

     Several          minutes-

       No wonder         those guys           were so late...

          ...

       Sense           De-          Cep          Tion

     Po-          S-ing            As            A           Jedi.

       Okay           now         Yoda’s            just         reading             the          death               report

     Jo-casta

     What?

       But           that’s         actually             a           good            idea                -              If shits about to go down you might as well find the person who might hold them accountable instead of letting you get the shit beat out

       Run-

       Serious-ly           shouldn’t she just shout out her name?

       [Like I know                       - High Alert-                     But Ahsoka isn’t going to be much use against a                    Adult...                Either way                                        Might as well   find her [and     scare off the intruder-]

  Also how come     “innocence”        doesn’t get           the same notification

       Did they forget his              wristwatch?

       [Like-            seems important-]

       Who are you?

           Dang                 It?

            You               were             supposed                  to                report                 back!

               Also no one           heard any of this before

           Also; are you going to tell me that AHSOKA, the child   soldier,      Is going to beat this guy       When      the fully trained elderly Jedi got her ass kicked?

   Nah.. .

   “You,”

    Dead

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-           4/5

   3x

-Un-orthodox show of initiative              1x

-Counter          1x

- Surviving this            1x

(4x) 

  Getting her on the           run!

        1x

Tot; 7/8

-Surviv-ing;

   - 1x         - 1x

    -1x

    -1x         -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

   -2x         (I’m tired of counting them        one by one-)

     -2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

    - 

    Er

    Okay

     Whelp

    Aight

    -Right

    Shape

    -Skill

     -Ew

     Whelp

      Okay-

      Where did         your get your skills from?

     Abomination?

     Aw-  

     Todo-

   -Yet

    What-ever

    Butler

    Tech

   Neither         of       which       have     anything        to do         with       ironing        doors        open           ....   

      ....       There       he goes

     Sy-mpathesize-  more with him            than this douche bag even if his          turn does make a little sense

     Aight.

     Whelp

      Finally found that          vent.. .

       Right

       No, he wasn’t

      “Comms,”

        Not            Holo-          Cron

      .....

     Completely un-realistically        

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-        28/29        And         1/2

    (1/2 because referring to the action what respectively doesn’t count as a whole- sin-          It does deserve note that you decided to repeat your bad writing-)

         Jedi

   She       Says-

  (Un       Be        Li       Ev        Able)

 Holo      -cron

 Jedi       To      Open      It     ..  

Okay,   

..   

Up-     To-

 Again, with the   communication     center-!

  Dude, just wanted a   Holo-cron

   (Seriously        that was very tortured      logic,       Think the writers;     just wrote this scene        Then realize but wait       “why are they in the Holocron/             Comm           Cent,?”

     And that’s how        Anakin/Obi-Wan           Obsession with the com      center began...

    [sorry but there was no reason for them to be in the        Com center!

      That I’ve heard!]

   In

   Aight,      What?     What       -ever

   ...  ..

  Wrong-

    Yes

    Com-          Center-

    Ser-iously     even he doesn’t know what’s up

   You   heard      me

  And        my     stupid      plan

    To send you to the     Coms center to justify Obi-wan’s     obsession-

    Craw-          ling

     And we have no reason      to-o

   Why?

    Now!

   Yelling- doesn’t mistake the clear lack of   reason

   What-     ever-

    Right

    That’s one way      to do it

    Really

  Also, how does   -that not-

That was less than   one minute

Also,   but no one else will hear that but   these two      . .

 And they’ll   still progress to the   comm center        ...

“It came from the com center,!”

   How!?

You, guys,

  Comms,       Archives,

   Aight,       Nice

  Com-munication        center-

    Ha-           ha-          ha-    (I’m sorry   but that has come back around      to kinda funny,”

 [something Happens across the     galaxy]

Obi-won; It was the com’s center

—-

Aight,    right, 

...

O-kay

...

How??

 Where?

 Okay      ...

Cloak       Ing?

 What?

[you can’t defy the   rules of logic that much       (Physics)       You need to explain where he went   otherwise it’s a loony tune      Of    sus-    pen    sion-

Okay?

What??

I thought-       the thing-  

....

O-kay

right

Take it,

Which       ,One

 That-

 Right

What-      Ever-

  Aight-

He knews

 What-      Ever

  Don’t call   your eggs

   Move

  Restraint

  Whelp

 Use-less

    Just     There

     Whelp

     Nope-

      Okay-

       He           Try

      [Hey         guys,]

       Off               That’s           some         assumed          authority              over         familiarity..

        Aight..

      Okay,

      They’re really            letting             him             get            away             with              the             story

         Tries-

       What?!

       -When-

      Bomb-  

        Both-

[Also   Mace   Windu        is     still      the       only       semi-efficient      Jedi...

   Asshole !

    (Can’t          make the text bigger enough to display my           outrage!)

   [they      played that off         as humor!]

     That was a scream of death!

     Of         Murder!

   [if that was a sentient-       And my God     it seemed damn close!     Dude was just murdered

   The surprise-        “ I didn’t        see it coming, h        onestly not his fault kind!”

      One that would call for      immediate robotic vengeance!

    * im-mediate    ac-countability

      If sentient,

   What the Hell?!

     That-

     Horror        -        fy-            Ing-

      Oof

“Was        it     sentient?      Crud, I      might       lose        my       least       toxic    credentials

  (           )

   Whelp

    How?

     No        Way-

   A-ight

   Shit

  -shit

- she did     nothing  

   I-

  Call      Sec-

  Whose       that?

    Whelp

     Okay..

     That          Who

    Dys-   functional          family          road         trip             -           War

       No          shit

 Oh wait at           the comment table was by all the other Jedi

       So...

       the whole time Obi-wan was just complaining        he didn’t want to do the job

     Skywalker          agreeing with him...

      And...  wanting to ditch their post

 In chara,

   Just, a little bit funny      when you think about it

  Right,

 You bought            them      all the way         here?

      ...

Also look isn’t the unchild-like abomination adorable when she’s talking about punishing people more severely

Holo-cron

The heck     is a       holocron...

Wait-

 What-

   Why-

   How-

   ??

 Why is this     being allowed to      happen?   -

    ...

  Snitch

[like seriously how is it helping her   case, whatsoever?

Plea     Bar-gin

Aight,

Okay

That was just a completely random target   on his list...

- -

The one accountable adult

Keeper       Kydra      Crystal-

- Holocrons

   Data

     -

   You get out of here         youngling

     Force         Sensitive       Child ?

     Are we really going to get into the        powers        eugenics?             (Or         power        genetic       superiority)

       Also would it be a kin to basically every child or just any child destined for leader ship

   (Like gen       leader ship?)

    Cause..

Also, yeah   good idea keeping that around

And you named...

...

Young’lings

 Future

Oy!     You put that back where,   it came from so help me

Future  

vision

is cheating

In reality,   if you did have that power,    you should keep     your mouth        shut

And it completely negates   the point of a choice based universe

   (Takes all the       risk out of it)

    Making the story     completely useless

    (For the sake of tension       I’m going to ignore        that..)

    Going on the       assumption...

     That’s the Jedi           are just a bunch of          narcs

       Who           like        claiming they know the future

       When in reality only the future              knows the future...

           Worn.                 Them

              Oh so it’s just School    roll call...

    Contact

   You must

Ya no dude’s already a    headstart...

Ahsoka

 Dude,  he just override   the punishment   

  Does he   have the authority to do that?

   [I     don’t     think        so]

 Cad bane

   He      probably isn’t

   And you already know him From the previous episode

    Good for         Obi-won

      Aight

     Mace Windu         don’t give a fuck

      Kid Fisto              disappeared

      And. .       Luminara(?)

       Went to go get a snack....             ?

        I don’t             know

        Yoda

        Got          Overruled

       Aight,           Okay

  .....

     This episode...

         Makes me feel disgusting              Watching                The middle                 At least

           It’s very clearly                 boomer bait...

           The beginning...

          Focus-ing on the           importance of taking orders           (With no                       sarcasm                                   to my understanding,)

       Progressing,               Into, 

             Dah, de, dah,                          Generation                        ____                    doesn’t               understand                  books!

                  *We might  if they got out of our way, let us do our thing, dis-covered and pract-iced excess, on our volition

                   *if we wanted   to

Honestly   convinced.  I should’ve      given       them          a        strike       right       there 

Out     of  

Malicious

 Won’t   (Out of restraint)

But     a   thought   none-       the-  

 less

Being        a     (toxic)      Boomers     Fantasy        in   which    they,      the     all   powerful      all   knowing       adults     must       help       poor     Ig-      nor        -ant       (Child)-

(I’m sorry   this really       disgusts me)

  -with enough initiative            To praise their Brilliance

         (It’s re-ally   di-sgusting)

           This isn’t            seen as an overreach                   Or con-                Des-cion                      Of                       A                     Gen

And gives no   in-dication it recognizes how creepy what it’s doing is

Apart from the lighting in the council room

  *Which       I’m now convinced is permanently broken

    And continues with the assum-ption of a   life-time                       Over the future

     Breaking; the story pretty thoroughly

     And announcing the       return to      mediocrity...

     (Border       -ing on attempt at          lower        standards)

 (Also they playoff the death of a semi-sentient species      For            Humor?

       He          died        screaming!

[rogue-snorunt]

for your consideration

yah boi getting thrown into a(nother) au only this time he playin a sosu-ish type in the commonwealth and not a tired engineer up in space

thats right: Isaac as the sosu D:

only.. not really? more like, his parents are, he just happened to be the unfortunate soul to be holding the baby. He may have been cowardly and awkward but he’ll still be damned if he was gonna let some stranger just take his baby bro D:<

Bam- headshot

Parents think their oldest is the murdered and now start that whole “the institute stole my baby! (and murdered our first born!)” thing, leaving their murked 16yr old son in his icebox

Only he aint dead, and he doesn't got the good ol Doc Mitchell to dig the bullet out. so now its just sitting in there not paying rent and just got his frontal and parietal lobes all ker-fuckered. 

Ring-a-ding-ding bby

wonders around, vision even more mucked up what with seeing and hearing things that aren’t always there, the most confused; lost and alone a kid could be in the Apocalypse, gets attacked by a feral and manages to get away but not without losing a couple fingers. stumbles across a figure in a red jacket arguing with a door (???) who says her name is Piper, who apparently spends a lot of time yelling at this door to let her inside.. and gets all motherly all over his bloody self and shoving him inside the stadium to the doc. Who he promptly frustrates so much with his sass, the doc gives him a shot of “go-the-fuck-to-sleep-so-i-can-heal-you-before-i-murder-you” and he takes on the role of digging around in this dumb kids noggin.

after waking up, and gaining equilibrium and junk enough to stand... proceeds to steal all of the doctors food; water and caps and wonder around the stadium just being a nuisance until Nick bumps into him, “whoa, what happened to you grandpa?” “...”

tries to start a collab quest of “where this kid came from/what happened to him/does have family?” with piper, the quest is quickly failed as the kid in question got lost and wandered out of the stadium after a few days of hanging with grandpa noir and aunt pipes

You look away for five gatdamn minutes

dang vault kids! D:<

New Quest : “OMG WE LOST THE KID!!” 

first objection - “FIND!!!”

He gets found, but not by mama piper and grandpappy noir, but by some super mutants... gets some bullets  to the knee. note to self- don’t try to punch a super mutant with your bare fists :0!

skadaddles the fuck outta dodge on one good leggy and make a break for random town run by a stoner ghoul dressed as a pirate? boy the apocalypse is wild! stoner pirate ghoul rushes him to some first aid on the quick! ends up taking immediate liking to kid and can’t in good conscience let this kid roam around as he is all alone; defenseless and never took ‘how to survive the nuclear hell-scape 101″ course. Pirate dad powers activate 

kid wandered off

WTF I TURNED AROUND FOR TWO SECONDS!

New Quest : “OMG I LOST THE KID!!”

finds em harassing Kleo and Daisy for their scrap metal and food. 

Quest update : -ohthankglob-

tries best to teach this kid how to fight and not the just run in and start punching things with bare fists kind but after that seems impossible, asks a friend to make his rowdy friend a power fist. 

Gets really emotional when “thanks dad, love it!”

comes across Cait and she teaches him how to really punch shit good and fight. 

Gets really emotional when “big sis! you're so feckin cool, teach me more! I wanna be able to punch a super mutants head off!” 

meanwhile grandpappy noir and auntie pipes are still in a panic tryna find this rowdy kid that wondered off: where the heck did he go? I hope hes not dead!  !!D’:

Tries to fight to the B.O.S. after they insult pirate dad but luckily they let his “fight me cowards” shenanigans go and Hancock + Cait manage to drag him away from the base, all while him still yelling at Danse aggressively that he’s gonna mod his suit so it'd forever kick em in the ass 

(sorry danse ILY, they’d be friends after blind betrayal i swear, forgive him)

ends up being commonwealth mail-person, delivering supplies between settlements and messages for minutemen, etc.  One day, a settler comes up and sheepishly asks if they could deliver a letter to a family member who had traveled to Nuka World, they hadn’t heard from em in a while and were worried and junk or something

Nuka world? sounds cool af!

#isaac #but in the commonwealth #courier six oc #fallout 4 #courier cross-over where hancock takes double-hat dad boone's place in being a foster dad to a rowdy teen #hancock #danse #cait #nick valentine #nick would be a lovely grandfather #piper wright #porter gage would be a lovely uncle and no one can tell me otherwise #commonwealth courier au

[redundantharpoons]

Can I talk about fandom for a minute?

I just saw the word discourse and I want to tell y’all some stories. They’re not discourse war stories, don’t worry. They’re funny. Or at least not horrific. I think they’re funny. Because I have to laugh at myself or I’ll cry.

At the risk of dating myself here, I did not have internet in my home until I was 19 years old, and even that it was in days before Youtube was invented, and Netflix was still a mail-order DVD service. Fanfiction.net was a thing, as was Deviantart, and I think most of the “fandom” type of stuff took place on livejournal. If tumblr existed, I had never heard of it.

And I wrote some fanfiction back in the day (Anyone a fan of the Slayers anime? :D Or Noir? :D Or CSI? Because them’s mah shows.) but didn’t realize there was such a thing as “fandom” that consisted of people talking to eachother, interacting about their shared interest, etc. I was isolated, basically.

And I fell out of “fandom” type things before I learned about fandoms. I stopped watching anime or most TV shows, and most of my time was spent playing video games and I never really created content or consumed fan content.

I came to tumblr to engage in reblogging of Xena goodness only about 2-3 years ago, but of course by that time Xena had been off the air for 15+ years. While the fandom is surprisingly active (and awesome!) there was certainly no risk of “discourse,” as I now know it to be called.

However, because people I followed for Xena stuff also were in other fandoms, I began seeing mentions of things called “ship wars.” I had no idea what this was and absolutely pictured naval battles with characters on each ship which made me giggle. But I had no idea they were a “real thing”, I thought they were a joke. Mostly because all the stuff I saw reblogged about “great ship wars” were so ridiculous I thought it was all a huge in-joke I wasn’t in on.

So cue me getting into the Moicy fandom on a whim last March. Remember, now, as we’ve discussed: I didn’t know that fandoms had “beefs” and I thought ship wars were a huge joke. I couldn’t even fathom a world where people got riled up about what fictional character was banging what other fictional character. So surely it was all a joke.

So now the “i have to laugh or i’ll cry” story. I had just barely entered the Moicy fandom and I, like everyone else on the planet, fell in love with ohnoafterlaughs’ art. And as it happened, very shortly after I followed her she answered some form of ask, and I won’t go back and find it and I hope I paraphrase correctly, but essentially the message was that she had been in a fandom before but had left because of the fandom itself.

Keep in mind I had no idea toxic fandoms were a thing.

I also wasn’t accustomed to interacting with people on tumblr period. So I did a little reply and said something along the lines of “If anyone is mean to you I’ll fight them for you.”

And to me this was a nromal thing to say, because when my friend says someone took too long in the checkout line in front of them, we offer to fight the person for them. Did someone not say thank you after you held the door open for them? Point me at em, I’ll fight them. “I’ll fight them for you” is code for “I’m sorry, but you’re appreciated and we love you!” in my friend group, and without the context of “toxic fandoms are a thing” I hadn’t realized this could be taken in any other way?

And she understandably said something like “No please don’t say that!”

And I felt really put out and embarassed, because I didn’t know what I’d done wrong but felt kind of rejected and like I’d messed up somewhere. So I quietly crawled back into my hole to return to admiring afterlaughs’ stuff from afar. 

And it wasn’t until like two fucking weeks ago that I realized that fandom discourse is a thing, that people take this stuff serious af, and that people will actually be mean to other people based on fictional characters? And I just died in hindsight at the idea that I came off like one of those types of people?! And to someone whose art I go nuts for every time I see it?!

Anyways, the reason I’m randomly writing all this out (other than to take a break from writing Bio Imp) is because I just found out just now that discourse has a connotation that isn’t just “discussion.” And I had to share how bad I am at internet with y’all.

I’m an old lady and I’m so bad at fandom I don’t understand anything y’all kids do anymore but you’re all doing great sweetie (as longa s you’re not harassing anyone else, obv! live and let live and dont embarass yourself to artists you admire, that’s my message)

If I ever do something stupid I’m probalby just actually stupid and not actually meaning any harm. lol I just want everyonet o be happy and enjoy what they enjoy.

#i have never learned how to spell embarassed and im not going to start now #fandom #rambling #discourse #like im so bad at fandom etiquette im not even sure is hould have mentioned afterlaughs in this???? #i have no fucking idea what im doing #i need to just be put in a room and isolated from society #delete later

[severalbakuras]

episodes s2e9 and s2e10!

the love god:

hey mabel and wendy don’t hang out that much this is nice.

oh they’re all there.

aww kids chilling in the cemetery.

oh it’s woodstock.

aww thompson...

GAZE UPON DEATH

robbie nani the fuck.

mabel no.

i’m down for the rainbow wig.

STAN NO

i thought the same mabel tbh.

honestly if i died i wouldn’t mind these two handling my corpse.

it’s german for ‘the dipper, the’.

thompson please find better friends.

that’s a terrible pick-up line.

lovegod looks like he could use a nap.

no you’ve made them UNSTOPPABLE FEAR THE SNADGER.

MABEL NO

dipper don’t be mean.

oooooooooooooooooooooo mabel

thompson my dude...

woah groupies.

dipper i relate so badly omg i hate hands.

does this mean dipper hasn’t fallen in actual love with anyone since he didn’t see wendy?

I E A T K I D S

HOLY FUCK CHARLIE

robbie’s parents are more hardcore than he will ever be.

but it’s a love potion mabel.

I’D EAT THE CAKE THOMPSON.

THOMPSON THOMPSON THOMPSON

congrats on the bouquet soos.

northwest mansion noir:

what’s with the bell?

well that’s ominous.

ooh shortened intro.

i bet dipper would lovehate buzzfeed unsolved.

i feel like you don’t want her life candy.

sdfjkfsd dipper is savage.

and he’s gotten better at making deals too.

he gives no shits i love it.

now that’s a nightmare room.

IS THAT ACTUAL BLOOD

ANCIENT SINS ANCIENT SINS ANCIENT SINS

HOLY FUCK

good thinking dipper!!

this is only halfway though...

at least they’re sort of friends now?

spoke too soon.

this mansion’s built on corpses.

what a way to die holy shit.

TELL ‘EM DIPPER.

ok maybe not that far.

ok there’s something fucked up with that bell.

aaaand off he goes.

ooo marius

WOAH FUCK

WOAAAAH FUUUUUUCK

WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

what are you up to pacifica?

oooh dear.

oh hey that morphing guy was right. ... how though.

IT’S ALL UP TO YOU PACIFICA.

PACIFICA’S DAD DIE BITCH CHALLENGE.

yeah there’s been some hardcore conditioning there.

i’m happy for you axe ghost.

congrats grenda.

aaaye they’re friends now.

oh no.

THE PLOT RETURNS.

DIPPER NO.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BILL WHY ARE YOU THERE AND WHY ARE THEY ON FIRE.

OOOOOO IT’S THOSE GUYS.

#gravity falls #sb watches gf

[feminaexlux]

A Needed Miracle - Chapter 18: But never complete

I'd been working on this one for months... because I did like 70% in 1-2 sittings and then fell off the face of the planet and I'm now just getting back into the groove.

Hope this is at least interesting to some people >_>

Read on AO3

⁂

(Nine years ago)

As soon as he said the wish Adrien knew he'd fucked up big time. He'd been dissolved, turning into the space in-between his component atoms, the trillions of tiny subatomic particles and… concepts that had initially, through sheer luck, linked up into some kind of personhood and made a pattern of Adrien Agreste.

He'd seen the Null forms of Tikki and Plagg. He knew the presence of the Invader. It was the best name they had at the time. And from there he saw how much he had cost this particular universe in terms of the energy and time it'd take to sink into his wish.

He'd asked for a "redo". A complete and total rewrite of reality because some 15 year old rich white boy with superpowers couldn't handle that his family and his friends had been murdered all around him. Well, in the grand scheme of things maybe it was a little short-sighted. Hawkmoth had been defeated at the cost of a bunch of teenagers playing superhero while there had been this thing looming in the outskirts.

Then he saw that Tikki and Plagg had cheated.

⁂

When he came to, he realized he'd been back in his bed. He blinked a couple of times and scanned his room, making sure that it was actually his room and… he wasn't dead? He wasn't dead. He was… still Adrien by the looks of it, his room being his room and all. He looked down at his hands, suddenly panicking that he'd lost Plagg. He didn't have the ring, holy crap! He turned over and went onto his knees, throwing the sheets and pillows off of his bed in a desperate search for his kwami. "Plagg!?" He yelled out. "Plagg, please let me know you're here!" Adrien cried, half sobbing.

If Plagg wasn't here… maybe Marinette had him?

Adrien ran out of his room and burst out into the main hallway. Apparently it was around the twilight hours, no one had been up and Nathalie (… and his father what the fuck they were both such huge assholes) wasn't around. He managed to throw open the front doors and ran out into the courtyard. Not even the gate could stop him as he vaulted through one of the holes in the giant decorative ironwork head first.

Marinette was only a block and a half away. His Lady had always been so close and he'd been an idiot for not even seeing her right in front of his stupid face. But he could fix it! He could fix it now, thank God. No… Thanks to Tikki and Plagg and--

A silver car screeched to a stop in front of him before he could run across the street to Marinette's house. A car door flew open and his Mother emerged, looking panicked in her white silk sleeping robe. "Adrien! What are you doing?!"

"Mom?!"

She ran to him and wrapped him up tight in her arms. "Adrien how could you leave like that? What were you doing?! You foolish, foolish child! Do you know what time it is?!"

Adrien had been a little… more than a little shocked and overwhelmed with a mix of joy and confusion at seeing his mother in person again. His wish made her come back! But… "Mom, I need to find--"

"You're coming home right now," Emilie said, dragging Adrien back into the car despite his protestations. "Simon, please take us home." Adrien heard a familiar grunt and the car was put into reverse, taking Adrien further away from his… Destiny? No. He'd changed all that. Emilie turned and forced Adrien to look at her by gripping his shoulders and turning him. "What the hell were you doing Adrien?! You know your father will be furious!"

Rage boiled over in Adrien. "I HATE HIM!" Adrien screamed. It all spilled out in the relative privacy of the car, how Adrien had found a Miraculous and became Chat Noir, how he had been fighting Hawkmoth with Ladybug, how Hawkmoth was Gabriel and Nathalie had become Mayura and they had become some disgusting couple thing but that Adrien had supported their relationship unknowingly because Emilie had been dead for a year and--

"That is quite the nightmare, Adrien," his father's cold voice interrupted, coming from over the car intercom. "Come inside. You've caused enough trouble for tonight."

Adrien had arrived at home. They didn't believe him. Of course they wouldn't. There was one way he could prove all that he was saying… that book was still in the safe, wasn't it? He ran out of the car to his father's office and slid away the Klimt-"inspired" painting of his mother. He punched in a few codes but they were all rejected.

"Adrien!" His father's voice boomed at him. Adrien ignored him for the time being, trying in vain to remember anything that might have been important to Gabriel. Adrien remembered how Gabriel had… died loving no one but himself, and punched in a sequence. The safe popped open and revealed…

Nothing? Where did that fucker hide everything? Adrien ran at his father and pulled off that stupid candy-striped cravat, shocking everyone in view. No Miraculous?

Wait… his wish really did reset everything. He stood still in place, staring back at his father. Oh shit, Adrien thought.

⁂

(Now)

It took at most 10 minutes of Adrien and Plagg waiting in Tatsue until Marinette and Luka came down from the apartment and walked toward the car, hand in hand. Longg had already come back sulking, apparently prematurely dismissed by both Marinette and Luka. Adrien got out of the car and opened the passenger door for the pair, but Luka stopped before entering. "Where are we going?" He asked.

Adrien smiled. "A safehouse."

Luka narrowed his eyes at Adrien. "Why?"

"Chances are you've been targeted on purpose, I'll explain more in the car," Adrien said, patting the roof of Tatsue.

"Wait… My sister and--" Luka paled. "I can't--"

"Oh don't worry, Kagami already took them to the safehouse earlier. We tried to take you both as well but Plagg and Tikki said it'd be alright if they watched over you until you both woke up. Can't really argue with them if they already made their minds up," Adrien shrugged.

"Why do you want to help us?" Marinette asked, squeezing Luka's hand tighter.

Adrien put his elbow against the car and rested his chin on his braced hand. "You're looking at the man who forced Universe number 2 into existence," he sighed. "I remember everything from the first one and I need to tell you why we're all here. I can't give you a bigger hook than that, can I?"

That'd been essentially what Longg (and Tikki) had explained to them, but Marinette still reeled back in shock. "This is… this is so crazy," she said shakily, feeling her hand squeezed back by Luka. "I still… I'm still having issues processing all this."

Adrien nodded. "Yeah. Crazy doesn't begin to describe it. Look, even if you still don't trust me you have Tikki and Plagg back and can absolutely obliterate and smear me into a thin paste if you wanted. I have nothing to hide and nothing to hold back. I just need you two to give me some time to explain what I can and show you what I know."

Luka sighed to himself, saying "I don't know where--" when Plagg phased out from Tatsue. "Nevermind."

Tikki flew next to Plagg, both kwami looking back at their holders. "Adrien's right. We need to be somewhere safer," Tikki said gently. "We trust Adrien to tell you the truth."

⁂

The ride to the safehouse was relatively short but plenty awkward and quiet. Marinette had looked back and forth between Luka and Adrien, but one was staring blankly out the window in a dark, pensive mood, still gently squeezing her hand as reassurance of his presence, while the other was staring at them, thoughtful and smiling whenever Marinette looked back at him but adding no additional comment.

Adrien, Tikki, and Plagg had initially given them a quick rundown of what they had experienced in the previous universe. That while Marinette had been Ladybug before as she was now, Adrien had been Plagg's original bearer. Both Marinette and Adrien had been much younger, starting their superhero lives at 13 years old and had years of practice using their Miraculous before the reset. The original Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste, but that had all been undone by Adrien's wish because they failed to defeat Gabriel in the end with Marinette dying.

Adrien had no clue who this Hawkmoth was.

Marinette understood most of it, but she'd noticed that Luka just… wasn't here with her mentally. If Marinette could guess what was going through Luka's head, she guessed it must have been worry over Juleka. She was half right.

Luka had been feeling an odd sense of… detachment since Adrien called. Yes, he was currently the Black Cat Miraculous chosen, but… he'd been a placeholder. He wasn't… the original. He wasn't even truly intended to be the one wearing this ring in Universe 2 and Plagg didn't seem to care much for Luka.

But if he hadn't had the ring and he hadn't been partners with Marinette, would they have ever gotten together? Would she have even noticed him?

It did feel like the past decade and change had been him swimming through mud trying to find his place in the world outside of his family. Didn't have a father, lost his mother, had to sell their houseboat, had his sister block any contact from him for the better part of a year, his love life and attempts at rock-stardom were disasters. He finally had things starting to go his way when Marinette literally fell into his life.

And then they each got a Miraculous. It was the first time Luka had felt alive and somewhat in control.

Hearing now that he was just some random asshole swept up in this whole thing was a little bit of a blow to that perspective. Maybe he needed to hand this ring over to Adrien, who supposedly knew how to handle it.

Maybe then Marinette would have a partner that wouldn't be such a fucking liability.

⁂

They ended up being driven to some fancy Japanese dojo and as Luka had been staring out the window most of the ride he saw a formidable looking man with a huge nose ring look over the car. There'd been a split second where that man had locked eyes with Luka, staring him down with a vague but palpable threat of violence in the air.

But whatever that man saw, he deemed Luka (and Marinette, probably?) safe enough and the car drove itself further in, going down a few levels in an underground lot. The car was parked and the doors automatically opened. Adrien moved out first, beckoning Marinette and Luka to follow him.

Having been lead into one trap today, Marinette had been hesitant in falling into another one, but… at least she and Luka had Tikki and Plagg. So she'd use that. She transformed in a pink flash after she noticed no one else was around and there hadn't been any cameras.

"That's… smart of you, actually," Adrien mused out loud, chuckling. "I get it." Both Adrien and Ladybug looked at Luka expectantly, but he… he just sighed.

"We wouldn't be here if I hadn't gotten caught, right?" Luka said. "I'm putting myself, my sister, Rose and Marinette in danger by being this… by being Panthera. This Miraculous shit isn't working out for me, is it?"

"Luka?" Ladybug asked quietly. "What…"

"Kid, don't--" Plagg was cut off when Luka took off his ring.

Ladybug panicked. "Luka!"

Luka opened his palm with the Black Cat Miraculous ring to Adrien. "This was always yours, wasn't it?"

Adrien looked down at the ring. A few moments passed, each one stretching out longer than the previous. There was a real sense of longing in Adrien's eyes and he reached out his hand toward Luka's… and took the ring. It shrank down a little bit and morphed into a signet ring with a flat silver face, blockier than the simple wide silver band it had been for Luka. "You just handed me one half of a universe ending machine, you know that?" Adrien said disbelievingly. "I'm not sure if you're serious. I didn't think either of you would want that back in my hands."

Luka shook his head. "It's always been yours."

"It's a nice thought. You're a better man than I am," Adrien chuckled. "But it's not mine." Adrien tossed the ring back at Luka, who nearly fumbled in catching it. "Not this time."

"You… won't take it?" Luka seemed confused.

"Like I said, it's a nice thought. But I can't use it."

"Can't?" Ladybug asked.

"Can't," Adrien confirmed. "One of those little stipulations in the fine print of resetting the universe. I can't ever use a Miraculous ever again."

#fxl fic #a needed miracle #lukanette endgame #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #luka couffaine #lukanette #endgame lukanette

[ponyvsthebottle]

2, 6, 9, 12, 18, 22, 32, 36

2: Has an anime ever made you cry? Hmmmmmmm HMMMMMMMMMMMM on one hand I am cool and tough and have historically never cried, ever, but on the other hand I'm pretty basic and got misty over the usual stuff i.e. Bye Bye Hachikuji, Ha Ha All His Actual Girlfriends Have Come To Your Concert To Shit On Your Life, when Ash fucking died in the first Pokemon movie, you know. Honorable mention to Robotics;notes when they throw the best character off of a cliff. I had to get up and walk around for a bit, but I think on the whole I was more mad than I was sad.

6: List your top 5 anime OSTs The Noir OST is my first love and is all the music that you need to drive fast at night or in the rain. The ONE shortcoming it has is that it doesn't have "Movement for Elevator Doors Open and You Shoot the Yakuza", which is what I bought it for. Uhhh fuckin Utamonogatari gimme those OPs for all of the monogatari seasons before Hana that's some good shit but it is missing (everything after Hana). I would like the Kizu OST IF I COULD FIND IT The Kill la Kill soundtrack was great I'll own it up I know it's #problematic but the music was fuckin hype and I'll never apologize for that. Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex has some bangers in it, everybody thinks "Christmas in the Silent Forest" is great but turns out that on the third record, "Dear John" is the TRUE banger Aaand FLCL? Let's say FLCL. The best one is "Stalker goes to Babylon" and I will hear NO DISSENT on this.

9: Name an anime character you absolutely hate Uhhh it is hard because I don't have hate in my heart I think??? I keep thinking of shows and characters and I'm like "well, I guess I don't hate this person, I just like them less." Uhhh I guess Kanetsugu? The fat kid who shows up close to the end of Masamune's Revenge. I understand with a ~romansuu~ you gotta inject that rival in there to break the deadlock, but I just resented him a lot more than I thought I would.

12: What is your favorite romance anime? The World God Only Knows. It's pretty good! I also uh I don't think technically I watch many romance animes because I am an emotionally-stunted monster, ya dig. I guess www.Waganaria as my backup but it was mostly a gag anime so uh take that as you will I guess.

18: What is your favorite drama anime? Uhhhh Eccentric Family? I'm not 100% on how to define "drama" but Eccentric Family is this kind of gentle river about family and friends and every so often everything just turns into a explosive crisis where the bonds between people are the true strength ya dig?

: Why didn't you pick *monogatari for either of those. I have no idea what to class *monogatari my man, I feel like it's a series of dialogues and monologues with occasional amazing fights. You could call it a romance or a drama! Then it would be my favorite, I think. I'm excited for Owari part 2

22:  You get to have a harem of [6] anime characters of your choice, who do you choose? This question got SURPRISINGLY HARD but I think I've pulled together a list that is pretty good and representative and also hopefully nobody will call me a predator for any of these names. That's why post-apocalypse Hachikuji ain't on the list, btw. NUMBER ONE IS IZUKO GAEN OUTTA *MONOGATARI BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T HAVE A HIP-HOP WHO PUTS THE "OMNISCIENT" IN ONEESAN THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ANIME I love her I love her shitty personality how she just blows in and makes fun of people for not being her but occasionally under tightly controlled circumstances we see that she's actually got HELLA chops. Number two is Motoko outta Love Hina which is KINDA CREEPY but when I read Love Hina it was EMINENTLY REASONABLE and that sorta shit gets engraved upon your heart, yanno? Your first anime crush. It's not her fault that she's frozen in ink while I've turned into a monster a monster and it keeps getting stronger Number three Sakurao outta Beautiful Bones she's great she solves mysteries and builds shit outta bones, and named her cat "Ulna" because she loves bones so much what a HUGE nerd Number four Akane Kowata outta Flying Witch, mostly because if I marry into that family I can live in the fuckin chill-ass little town Japan what a nice anime that was. Also any time she showed up, the episode got somehow better, if you can believe that. Number five is Haqua from World God Only Knows! Gotta get some kinda ghost/devil all up in this harem. She's actually a prodigy and is good at her job, I promise. Number six is Megumin outta Konosuba. I don't gotta justify this decision because it is obvious as soon as you watch Konosuba. Is anybody else as good at explosions as she? No. HONORABLE MENTION is Bowel Hunter but I left her on the list because I can't really say much about her character except 1) she is cool with killing people for money and 2) she likes bowels I guess? She cute tho ;)

32: If you could make a game for an anime of your choice, what would it be and why? Geez I don't know how to even begin to answer this question. In my mind, all of 'em are completed stories. What could you even put into a game? It would be a different thing, and I don't know if I'd like it the same. Give me, I don't know, the Attack on Titan dating sim. Let me romance Annie you devils. She deserves better than fuckin Waluigi or whatever his name is.

36: In your opinion, what makes a good anime? "Is it Nichijou." I guess the thing that makes me think the anime is good is when there's little moments that I can call back into my brain at a later date and still reflect on 'em and be like "that was some good shit." Bad anime just kinda slides through your mind like sand through your fingers, right? You watch "I Can't Believe My Little Sister's a D-Cup" or whatever and at the end of the day you can't rememnber anybody's names or anything. It only existed in the moment. But like... the good shit stays with you. And you can talk to other people about the good shit! What makes anime good is the little gems of activity that lodge in your skull. That's my HOT TAKE.

[andongaustin]

All football fans are scared of something. Be it fate, habit, man or beast. For some, there is the annual spectre of relegation looming in their thoughts; others are constantly afraid of snatching failure from the jaws of success – even after Wenger has left. At United, the fans are in most fear of an inanimate object. No, not Daley Blind, but the fax machine. They dread the beep and whir of an official communication from Real Madrid Club de Futbol, pertaining to the purchase of David de Gea. The ineffectiveness of such an arcane form of communication famously (and fortuitously) put pay to a previous attempted coup, but it has since felt like a glitchy delay of the inevitable: the Spaniard’s return. In their heart of hearts, even the most biased red would concede that for most of his seven year stint at the club, United have been punching with Dave. He has been far too good for the players around him, and deserves better in every respect. Undisputedly the best goalkeeper in the world, he has never had the merest sniff at a Champions League medal. Allied to this, the Madrid native has made no secret of his desire to return home. A product of the Atletico Juvenil, it is obvious he’d have zero qualms about joining their local rivals at the Bernabeu – quite the opposite in fact. Real Madrid is a special draw to anyone of Iberian blood, never mind a son of their streets. Alas, there’s no place like home. Everything calls him back: the sun, the glamour, the culture, the food, the very real prospect of European glory, and proximity to his long-term girlfriend Edurne Garcia – Manchester may be wonderful, but it can’t possibly compete with all of that. Thankfully for everyone associated with United, the stars — and fax toners — have failed to align…just yet. Dave is 27 now, and more than served his time. He has remained extremely patient and serene in spite of the perma-transition going on before him. It would be extremely harsh for anyone of Old Trafford allegiance to do anything other than thank him wholeheartedly and wish him the very best were he to return to the city that reared him. That said, perhaps it needn’t end that way. More so, perhaps it shouldn’t end that way. Everyone has a story, but until the words are written – prior to the jets of ink hitting the fax roll – perspective can shift in a way that causes all future plans to jam and recalibrate. None of us are hostages to fortune forever; we eventually arrive at a point that allows us to push for what we most determinedly want. The only thing that can stop us is a change of mind. De Gea arrived at the World Cup as the universally accepted number one number one, playing for the expert’s choice team to reign supreme. His neck may have been barren of ribbons, barring an FA Cup losers’ medal, but his chest was swollen from rave reviews and platitudes. If nothing else, Manchester always lets its heroes know they’re ace and appreciated. Sadly, things in Russia did not pan out quite as he would have hoped. Real Madrid, in their infinite and arrogant wisdom, chose to derail all of Spain’s best-laid plans by swooping for Julen Lopetegui – leading to his untimely sacking. This directly contributed to a disjointed and all-too-brief campaign under Fernando Hierro. They topped their group, but only managed a single victory – against Iran – before losing to the hosts on penalties. Of course such failure demanded a scapegoat, with Florentino Perez the obvious candidate. But no, the Spanish media rounded rather bizarrely on De Gea. He was condemned as ineffectual and weak – and the prime reason why his country only lasted a fortnight. So much so that Edurne received online abuse for her partner’s perceived failures. Foremost in their criticism were Marca – famed for being Real’s media mouthpiece. Having identified De Gea as the convenient stooge to distract from Florentino’s sabotage, they got to work on building a negative narrative. Rating him the very lowest of all of Spain’s performers in Russia, they concluded that the United man had “lost his position as the country’s undisputed number one.” Understandably, Dave was miffed. He succinctly and pointedly responded: “To whom supported, suffered and criticised us with respect, thanks. We’re f****d but we’ll get up again and never give up.” The apology was sincere, but so was the obvious irritation. United fans, old hands at providing sanctuary to World Cup bête noires, advised he ‘fuck ’em and come home’. That word again: home. There is nothing nice about being labelled a national failure. It is not a positive thing. We certainly didn’t want one of our own to be subjected to such torment. However, if there’s a silver lining to the cloud, it is that the greatest goalie in the world may now have a different sense of where he truly belongs — and where he can be most happy. Dave did not deserve the very focused criticism he received. He was essentially thrown under the bus for the sins of others. In the process, he got a small taste of what he could face were he to swap Manchester for Madrid. Old Trafford enveloped him with love and support during his most vulnerable moments; Spain spat on his name for not stopping penalties. You don’t need me to tell you how good our boy is – you already know. I could wax lyrical about how he has saved our skins time and time again. I could waste paragraphs expanding on the obvious — that he is quite possibly the closest that any of us will get to witnessing a real life superhero. But why try to articulate what you’ve seen with your own eyes? We absolutely know and appreciate that we have a rare gem in our possession. And we never fail to let him and world know that. Each stunning save is celebrated like a winning goal, whilst the rare fumble is forgiven in an instant. You won’t find a bad word said of the man when he fails to reach a goal-bound effort — there’s no white hankies here. In targeting De Gea as an outlet for their pent up frustrations, perhaps the Spanish and Madrid-based media have done us a massive favour. Maybe they’ve caused our number one to reassess where he feels most comfortable and accepted. To use a quote often attributed to one of Manchester’s finest sons, it’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re at. Fuck ’em and come home, Dave. You’re safe with us just as much as we’re safe with you. Republik of Mancunia

http://austinakwa.blogspot.com/2018/08/theres-no-place-like-home-for-de-gea.html

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