#for context canon was born a vampire and has been a part of a group of them for pretty much he whole life

[essayofthoughts]

Turnabout's fair play, 👀👀👀👀

It is fair indeed.

That "Hogwarts" AU. Like it's barely a Hogwarts AU at this point, because I've smushed together so much of my own specific HP Worldbuilding with snippets of CR canon so... it's very much it's own thing and I've got a bunch of ideas but it's also very messy? And for me to really go into what I'd be doing would involve me going into that divergent worldbuilding but... hell that's what this is for so: a person's ability to perform magic is tied to a few different things, but the essential parts are the production of magic, the transference of magic and the use of magic. Some people can produce and transfer magic around their bodies, but can't meaningfully use magic. Some people just don't produce magic but have the transference ability and may or may not have the potential ability to use it (in theory they could channel ambient magic in a ritualised context, as they are "hollow" of magic). Some people don't have any of those three parts and regardless, they're considered "tacit" - quiet in magic. Grog is the former kind of tacit - he has magic, he just can't use it meaningfully. It makes him very strong and hardy, but useless at spellcasting. Percy, meanwhile, is not tacit. Percy was born with magic, not much of it, but very precise transfer and use ability. He was from a very old Pureborn family, magic all the way back, Poludnitsa having married into the family to give them an inborn touch of sunlight. This makes them very interesting to, say, a vampire that may not be entirely happy about the restrictions of their new unlife, the vampire's magical researcher wife, and their pet general researcher. Except. Magic gets fucked up by trauma. Percy's magic - never much to begin with - has been warped and suppressed due to him not wanting to give Ripley any kind of information and so now he is, functionally, tacit. He has magic, he just can't meaningfully use it. Vex is perceptive. Things get interesting. (No one likes Ripley.)

Elaina Lives AU - See the thing is I have actually written some stuff for this and I have ideas for it and I really like it, it was genuinely one of my first ideas I had when watching CR (before Perc'ahlia devoured my brain) but also it's centered on a minor/background character who's dead before canon begins and so it probably won't get much attention if I do write it? Because people always prioritise ship content over genfic (which infuriates me). But anyway, in this AU Elaina survives Thordak's attack, and, for reasons I shall not get into, ends up at the Raven's Crest in Vasselheim. Perhaps the party has another cleric when they go to Marrowglade. Perhaps a different deal is struck over Vex's cooling body. After all, it is not the brother's duty to protect their sibling. It is the parent's duty to protect their child.

Daemon AU - Look, you can have so much intimacy with daemons and the touching/not touching thereof, and Separated daemons and- look, I really want to write this but again, this is one of those small minor AUs that isn't ever going to be as long as the others (crosses my fingers and hopes to hell and back) so even if I do get to it, it probably wouldn't be terribly long. I do think that in Exandria you could have a lot of fun with immense cultural differences of opinion about daemons, about whether those daemons are their same or different genders to their people (in HDM they're usually a different gender, but not always), about people with daemons who Settle in the same form, about Separated daemons. And also - longer lived, slower maturing races, would the existence of daemons change perspectives on shorter-lived races? Daemons Settling earlier indicating these shorter-lived groups are still mature by the metric of daemons, even if an elf of the same age is a child? Without the Magisterium in play and a multitude of gods there's also the idea of clerics who have daemons that are linked to or in some way symbolic of their gods - does Pike's Settle as a bird of some kind, in honour of Sarenrae's wings? Do members of the Grey Hunt tend towards wolf daemons? Does planar ancestry affect daemon manifestation - do tieflings have infernally touched daemons while aasimar or genasi have celestial or elemental ones? How does the existence of daemons intersect with summoned or pacted familiars? There's so many possible questions to dig into and I just don't have the time. But suffice to say, Percy as a magpie is an idea I have loved for a long time, and as everyone knows - one for sorrow. Also, if daemons are Dust and Dust is souls, and demons and devils feed on souls, obviously infernal deals drain away the Dust of one's Daemon. It's not gone, per se - that would have nasty consequences for the person - but it is... held in escrow (ha!), as it were, tied to the deal. Percy might think his daemon has fled him after all their trauma and loss, but mostly she's just furious with him.

Eros & Psyche Perc'ahlia - Look. Look. It is the original Beauty and the Beast story. I love it so much. And part of the story is that Psyche was forbidden from looking upon Eros. Orthax's smoke is very good at obscuring Percy's face. There's a lot of bits and pieces of this I haven't yet fully hammered out, but I love this AU, I love it so much, I love the visuals I can try to tease out as Percy's glasses flash through the smoke when he sits in sunlight with Vex, the smoke no longer roiling shadow because he's soothed and calmed by her company, so it steadies. She glimpses him even if only fragments at a time, before the first time the smoke peels back entirely and she gets to see him for real. (It is still as much a shock as it was in the myth. There are still challenges to overcome.)

Send me a “👀” and I’ll ramble about an au I have but don’t know if I’ll ever get to writing it.

#the 'Hogwarts' AU #elaina lives au #daemon au #eros & psyche au #blorbologist #fic things #ask game #ask

[chisatowo]

Vampire Kanon and vampire Hagumi's dynamic after they learn that the other is also a vampire is funny to me because it's just Kanon talking abt some basic vampire shit in this world and Hagumi just internally going wtfwtfwtfwtf since she didn't know abt ANY of this shit

#rat rambles #band posting #I say theyre vampires bit theyre also kind of not? #I mean thats what theyre called but they arent rly like. traditional vampires since those dont rly exist in this world #but yeah its just kanon going 'if it makes you feel any better since you dont use it muvh your venom is probably not very potent' #and hagumi just being like 'my what now?????' #for context canon was born a vampire and has been a part of a group of them for pretty much he whole life #while hagumi was turned while she was very young and has never really known another vampire before #shes still been one most of her life but shes never really used most of her abilities #she hasnt even had much chance to accidentally use a lot of them since she doesnt hunt #her family does a lot of alchemy so they figured out quickly enough how to artificially make blood #not that theres never been times that shes had to feed on actual people but usually shes able to find someone willing to let her take a sip #she occationally has some slight issues with taking a bit too much but its never gotten that bad #also yes I am reusing my 'vampire' worldbuilding from a differeny storu uou cant stop me

[dc-earth53]

#0010 - Zatanna (Zatanna Zatara)

Age: 44

Occupation: Stage magician, adventurer.

Marital status: Single

Known relatives: Giovanni Zatara (father, deceased), Sindella (mother, deceased), Luigi Zatara (great-grandfather, deceased), Zachary Zatara (cousin).

Group affiliation: Justice League of America, Sentinels of Magic

Base of operations: Shadowcrest, San Francisco, California

Height: 5’7”

Weight: 127 lbs.

History:

44 years ago: Zatanna is born to Sindella and Giovanni Zatara, at their family home in New York. Sindella passes away shortly after her birth.

35 years ago: Zatanna meets Bruce Wayne at his ninth birthday party, less than a year after his parents’ passing.

31 years ago: Zatanna begins to be trained in the arts of sleight-of-hand, and in real magic, by her father. 

26 years ago: Giovanni Zatara mysteriously vanishes.

23 years ago: Zatanna follows in her father’s footsteps, becoming a professional stage magician.

22 years ago: Zatanna meets Dinah Lance while on an expedition to the Himalayas in search of her father.

20 years ago: While travelling the world, Zatanna meets John Constantine, and the two begin a brief relationship. The two would irregularly rekindle their relationship in the following years.

18 years ago: Zatanna meets Hawkman and Hawkwoman, and enlists their help alongside the Justice League in the search for her father, eventually locating him in the world of Kharma, where he was .

17 years ago: Zatanna is inducted into the Justice League.

15 years ago: The villain Doctor Light breaks into the Justice League satellite, learning the identities of several of the team’s members. With the consent of the present Leaguers, Zatanna wipes his memory.

12 years ago: After the Justice League disbands, Zatanna joins the Martian Manhunter in his new, more informal League, based out of the Secret Sanctuary in Happy Harbor.

11 years ago: 

Zatanna participates in the battle against the Anti-Monitor.

Constantine recruits Zatanna and her father, among other sorcerers, to fight the Great Darkness. Zatara perishes in the battle.

10 years ago: Zatanna, along with the Spectre and several of the Earth’s other mystic protectors, form the Sentinels of Magic during the Dominator invasion of Earth.

6 years ago: Zatanna re-joins the Justice League when its active membership travels to the past in search of the vanished Atlantis.

5 years ago:

Dr. Light remembers his past and allies with Eclipso to target the Justice League’s loved ones, with Zatanna in the crossfire as well.

Zatanna joins the newest incarnation of the Seven Soldiers of Victory in their fight against the Sheeda.

Zatanna is on the front lines against the Spectre when, without a host and seduced by Eclipso, he begins a crusade to destroy all magic in the universe, ushering in the tenth age of magic as a result. 

4 years ago: Zatanna joins the restructured Justice League.

3 years ago: Zatanna travels to Hell alongside the Shadowpact to take part in the war between Neron, Blaze, and Satanus. During the war, Giovanni Zatara’s spirit is destroyed.

2 years ago: Madame Xanadu reunites the Sentinels of Magic, Zatanna included, to combat the rise of a vampire army.

1 year ago: Zatanna is transported to Gemworld alongside the Justice League, allying herself with Amethyst in the fight against Dark Opal’s forces.

Present day: Zatanna remains active with both the Justice League and the Sentinels of Magic, along with maintaining her professional career as a stage magician.

Commentary:

Etirw na gnitseretni eliforp!

Everyone (especially Paul Dini) loves Zatanna, the DCU’s resident magician for when something isn’t important enough to get Doctor Fate involved. She’s perky, fun, and flashy, and has been a staple member of the Justice League for a while - none of that is changed here. There’s not much to talk about with regards to her history, either - it’s fairly straightfoward, as she only has a few major storylines. Most of the Rebirth-era Justice League Dark stories are canon to some degree here, notably, although the group keeps the Sentinels of Magic name in this universe.

Zatanna is a character who refuses to be pinned down to one relationship for too long. She’s got histories with both Batman and John Constantine, but neither of them became a long-term relationship, and it’s unlikely that she’ll end up dating again in the near future. Her road crew is the closest thing to a family she’s got, and she’s fairly close to all of them. She also has a special bond with Black Canary, the two of them having been friends since their youth.

What’s in store for Zatanna’s future? Well, there are still many unexplored facets of the Tenth Age of Magic, and with the Rock of Eternity empty, Hell’s order upturned, and the Lords of Chaos and Order slaughtered, other magical beings will be seeking to fill that power vacuum and Zatanna will doubtless be on the front lines of fighting them.

Zatanna’s stage magician outfit (her “work clothes,” as she calls them) is iconic, and no other costume she’s worn has ever stuck. Sure, it may be sexualized, but it fits her personality - she’s naturally showy and it doubles as her outfit as a Vegas performer. In that context, it makes perfect sense. And as for how she can operate in those heels? “It’s magic, I don’t have to explain it!”

Next up: the Enchantress, and then Oracle!

#dc #dc comics #earth 53 #profile #zatanna #zatanna zatara #sentinels of magic #justice league of america #justice league dark

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Inside Jokes and References in the Full Bios

Mainly for @spacelizardtrashboys and @kuruumiya

Also: Any time strikethrough text is used it's because it's meant to be secret information, for example on the small bios any time 'Lucifarian' truly isn't their last name their is strikethrough test after saying that it's not their real name. This is to say that no matter what is written or if it's strikethrough text or not, it is there for a reason.

Damien - Bio In-Jokes and References:

The Quote for him refers back to his 'King of Hell' gimmick, as does his middle name, Rex means king.

He's protective, like a dad, but also way too overprotective over the gimmicks for the girls. He's an old, old school guy so he enjoys card games with the boys.

He's supposed to sound like a young Hugh Laurie, mainly because if I heard a young Hugh Laurie say Damien's bio quote I wouldn't be able to take him seriously.

His main finisher (Seventh Circle) refers back to (a) him being the king of hell and (b) the seventh circle is for violence, and well, he's a wrestler, that's a pretty violent job.

He calls fans both 'peasants' and his 'loyal subjects' because he's like an asshole-ish king who'd quickly be dethroned if they rebelled.

Vickie - Bio In-Jokes and References:

The Quote for her refers back to her gimmick along with the old saying 'pride comes before the fall'.

She's called 'Victoria' because of both (a) it meaning victory and (b) the fact that Queen Victoria ruled back when Britain had an empire, then the empire fell (as in pride [Vickie] before a fall)

Both Her and Damien are born in August and are the only two to share a birth month as they are Father and Daughter (non-kayfabe, as in they share DNA)

She's raised Christian as back when she was growing up England was a lot more Christian than when she became an adult so she got lax in her beliefs

Her personality is supposed to make her come across as a vain, rich, arse of a person, yet deep down she's still redeemable, she's got a long way to go before she actually redeems herself though

She's the type of person who makes sure EVERY little detail of her matches and promos are PERFECT to the point that she will control what other people do or say, down to the moment it's said/done and the way it's said/done

She only likes the other D.O.D (Daughters of Darkness) members because she has only made enemies in the short while they've been in the company, she especially dislikes George 'The Animal' Steele because of his very messy style going against her 'everything should be perfect' views

She's the leader, the brain and the mouth because of her control over the group, if she let them have more control, there might be less arguments about her amount of control

Her named moves are also references to both her gimmick and other things. Beheader is named because of the Tudor monarchs of England having kind of a thing for killing people in this way (ex. Henry VIII).

Lineage Ender is named that because if she ever botches that one specific move (it'll make sense in context/ she does it during a training scene) it could end either her own Lineage or the person she's doing it to.

Lion's den is called that because she traps them in a near-inescapable crucifix pin, and normally if someone goes into a den of Lions, they aren't escaping in one piece.

Family Pride is named that because not only is her gimmick the sin of pride, but she's got pride in her family and she's her dad's 'pride and joy' because she's his only child.

Wish for this (her main finishing move) is called that because it's an inside joke of "you're gonna 'wish for this' to be over soon"

As she's Damien's blood daughter, a 'prodigal son' joke seemed somewhat appropriate.

Billie - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a reference to the Guerreros and the whole 'Latin lover' trope

She was born in February because of Valentine's day, hence why her birthday is two days before the 14th

She's 1/2 Cuban (just in general - both Mexican and Cuban culture is interesting to me) But she's 1/2 Cuban in case I ever need to write for Razor Ramon, I can get away with making the joke of 'my Cuban accent's better than yours'.

Her casual style is 'Suggestive' because how else is Lust supposed to dress.

She dislikes Hulk Hogan because she finds him incredibly annoying and she dislikes Jesse Ventura because she dislikes his fashion choices.

I imagine her uncle Hugo looks like Luis Guzman and her dad's like Raul Julia. Try to imagine those two wrestling as a luchador tag team.

Her mother was basically a valet to her dad, which was usually Billie's role before she was part of the D.O.D.

Her move name references are all song references: Love me Tender - Elvis' song of the same name, Personal Aphrodite - a reference to / joke on 'Personal Jesus', Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye's song of the same name.

Also, I hope to eventually use the joke 'The Babe, the babe with the power,' 'What power?' 'Power of voodoo' 'Who do?' 'You do' 'Do what?' 'Remind me of the babe' because of one of her commentary nicknames being 'The Babe'

P.G - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is in reference to her being greed and (right at the start of the story) her thoughts on money actually being able to buy her happiness

her surname 'Voronin' means crow, and well, crows like shiny things, like money

she wears 'fancy but simple' clothing because if she bought designer clothes she'd be in debt, but she still wants to look like she has more money than everyone else

she's cowardly in a Jimmy Hart way, she'll piss someone off during a promo and run away once she feels like she's in danger

she's a showman because she's more show than work, meaning she works exceptionally quick matches.

Her moves are basically jokes on the fact that she is greed, such as Gold-digger and Diamond Ring. However, Money Maker is also a joke on the fact that it's a facebuster and usually an actor's face is called their 'money maker'

She hates Hulk Hogan and Sgt slaughter because of how patriotic they are

Kirby - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a reference to (a) the fact that she's Gluttony, (b) her being the only one who wears a mask constantly and (c) her basically being the group's scare tactic against people who think they can push them around.

I am planning on eventually making her a part of the machines, maybe as a valet, maybe as a wrestler, not 100% sure as of right now

Her mother is the Norwegian-Scottish one and her father is the Irish-Welsh one

She is the tallest (not the heaviest, that's Damien) but she's still 9 inches shorter than André.

She's willing to bleed hardway, but hates blading

She hates Big John Studd because of his disrespect, she hates Hulk Hogan because she thinks he's obnoxiously 'American', she dislikes Lord Alfred Hayes and Dynamite Kid because they are so insistent on calling her '1/4 Icelandic' whenever she talks about being 1/4 Norwegian. She hates Brutus Beefcake because he's just 'so, so much' energy-wise.

She's always been tall, always shorter than André though, she was 5'6" when she was 12, which is still taller than Sam, P.G and Eli.

Kirby's the best at using folk tales and mythology references in her promos and still keeping them dark and scary.

Her speaking voice is Jessica Hynes, but I imagine her singing voice (which will be important later) to be that of Deee-lite's Lady Miss Kier. On that note, I will be putting up a post on this part of the fic's canon.

Feeding Frenzy is meant to look similar to Roddy's wild punches, hence the 'frenzy' part of the name.

Organ grinder is named because it's meant to look really hard (like she's putting all her force and weight into it) as if she's grinding her opponents organs

Hungry for Blood is an in-joke of during her toughest matches she seems hungry to give the fans the sight of blood

Consummation is a joke of 'the match will soon be over, the match will soon be concluded, or consummated' not the sex-based meaning of that word.

Number of the beast, which is 666, is a reference to the 619, and is a modified 619 basically.

Vampire's Bite is a reference to her sitout jawbreaker looking like she could possibly bite someone's neck, like a vampire, as she performs the move

I didn't want to call her chops, chops, so I made a joke of 'oh it's chopping, like a butcher's knife'

Overfeeding is another basic gluttony reference. Cheshire Grin is a facelock-based joke. Let Them Eat Cake is a butt=cake joke

The ogress is a thinly-veiled way of the commentary team calling her ugly, because why else would she be the only one in a mask

Holly - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is written that way because I always wanted her to sound like she comes from New Jersey

She's very cuddly towards the rest of the D.O.D and thus gets called a teddy bear by the others

She's Pansexual because she doesn't care what your gender is, she loves people just being themselves

She's the only ginger because I've never seen a ginger wrestler from New Jersey

She was raised Catholic but lost her faith upon realising how bad gay people are treated by the church (Holly literally just goes "Y'all it is 1984, how are y'all gonna reject people based on who they love?")

Holly's very much the person who'll ask permission to cut a promo on someone but won't tell them how harsh she's going to be

She's the group's mom friend (mum friend?)

Before she started travelling with another member of the group (Holly travels with Sam a lot) she would accidentally no-show events

She does accidentally give incredibly stiff shots

Holly likes Gorilla Monsoon because their friendship is very much a weird pseudo-dad-daughter friendship, so basically, she's using him as her new dad

Her voice is Angie Harmon because I think Harmon sounds like a badass from New Jersey

Naptime, Dirt Nap and Lullaby are jokes of 'I'm gonna knock you out'

Eli - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a joke of 'this is why she doesn't do a lot of promos'

She's the most likely to be on one of those 'too hot for TV' blooper reels from her promos

Both she and Sam hate people taller than them

Sam - Bio In-Jokes and References:

Her quote is a reference to the fact that her tattoos are her 'masterpiece'

she dresses athletically because she's always ready for a fight, especially because she's usually the one picking fights

She likes Lou because he's like a crazy uncle to her and she likes George Steele because, unlike Vickie, she likes the wild man side of his gimmick

She's voiced by Melissa Etheridge because she's still feminine but is the most masculine sounding

#Lucifarians #Wrestling Family #wrestling fic #original character

[galysh]

Hello, yes I am back on my bullshit Part II

Okay so, I had a random thought earlier. The short of it is the following chain of command: Astolfo-Vanitas-Roland-Olivier and the sheer chaos that would ensue. But first, some context. This is a Canon Divergence AU where Vanitas is rescued from Moreau by the Chasseurs instead of the Vampire of the Blue Moon. 

Frankly, the fact that the chasseurs failed to notice that there was a human trafficking laboratory in their basement is disturbing. Considering that a) Moreau had previously been expelled from the Academia for animal cruelty and b) Vanitas is number 69, which implies that there were 68 previous projects. I’m going with the general assumption that most of them were children, and some of them were Chasseur Trainees. 

At any rate, just a quick reminder of the following.

Vanitas is 18 in chapter 1, and looked to be anywhere from 8 to 12 in the Moreau flashbacks. 

Astolfo is 15 at the youngest, since we don’t know when he became a paladin just that he did so at 15. He also looked to be around 10 in his traumatic flashback. It would be funny if he and Vanitas were the same age though, that would piss Vanitas off so much. 

Olivier is 27, and Roland is supposedly a little bit younger than him (I’m going with he was born within the following 12 months, to keep it simple.)

Alrighty! Now onto the angst fun stuff!

Vanitas loses his parents when he’s 8ish and is accepted into a religious orphanage. He’s there for 6 months or less before the church (on it’s constant hunt for new soldiers) takes him in and he begins training to be a chasseur. 

He trains for a little more than two years and it’s okay, he doesn’t hate it, and they feed him. The trainees are taught by church fathers and occasionally active duty chasseurs. Vanitas’ encounters Roland and Olivier - respectively 18 and 19 - a few times but it’s nothing memorable. 

Unfortunately Moreau happens and shit hits the fan. Moreau has him for a year, it’s traumatic. It’s painful. It’s a betrayal at the deepest level. Somehow, the chasseurs get wind of Moreau’s actions before the VOTBM does. The church fathers are hesitant to get involved, Moreau is useful after all. Arguments happen but ultimately, 2 units of Paladins stage a raid but aren’t able to wreck the place. They manage to snag Vanitas (who wouldn’t have been called Vanitas, eurgh, he needs a name. Xerx.) and several other children but not Mikael. 

Roland and Olivier were amongst the Paladin Rain Unit and helped get the children to a safer place. The Raid group is split up, one unit taking their rescues further into the church and the other (Vanitas’ group) are forced out into the city. 

 At this point, Olivier is a Paladin and Roland is his lieutenant. After a brief discussion (“It’s only for a short moment, Olivier, it’s not as if anyone actually lives there. :) ) they take the children to Olivier’s city home as it is both conveniently empty and nearby.  Along with Vanitas are three other children, (Galien, Aquilante, and Grifone) all within 5 years of Vanitas’ age. 

Anyway, they make it to safety and various shenanigans occur that lead to Vanitas becoming Roland’s Mentee. If Olivier thought that having Roland as a lieutenant gave him head aches, having both Olivier and Vanitas gives him migraines. 

It takes a decent amount of work but Vanitas becomes a chasseur, albeit with a hatred of vampires and of 99% of humanity. Though, he misses Mikael he’s had no luck searching for him. Shortly after the raid, a mysterious event led to the destruction of the lab and the boy was nowhere to be found. 

Got distracted by Pandora Hearts, will continue this tomorrow. 

Previous/Next

#VNC #the case study of Vanitas #les memoires de vanitas #Galysh writes #Vanitas no Carte #what's this AU called?? how do i tag it?? #hello yes I'm back on my bullshit #is the tag

[starberry-cupcake]

Hey, you’re entitled to do whatever you’d like with your fic, but I would like to say that a rude comment shouldn’t take away from the work you put into writing something. I would also like to remind you that most people in the les mis fandom are accepting of all interpretations of character because everyone sees them in a unique way (I’m sorry you’ve come across someone who isn’t used to this). I wouldn’t want one person to ruin a rather kind fandom for you, but I understand what you’re saying.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support ♥ you’re very kind. 

I’m going to answer this on read more because it’s a long story, my sad pathetic life in the les mis fandom, I was weary of sharing it but, at this point in my life, I think I’ve grown enough to handle it. So, I’ll give it a go. Of course, this is just my personal experience and doesn’t mean everyone agrees, I’m sure most people have a great fandom experience in it and I just didn’t handle anything well.

I’ve been in the fandom for a while, but I think I came into the online tumblr part of it in a rather complicated time, because my experience wasn’t all that good. 

I didn’t have one singular awful experience but I never felt a part of the fandom because there were a lot of groups in which I didn’t quite fit in and never felt very welcomed in general. 

When I started doing the summaries, I didn’t expect them to have positive feedback because of this, I never felt like I was enough for the fandom, if that makes sense. I thought that maybe, since time had passed, the lines were more blurred and the fandom was more chill and that’s why I was able to have such positive conversations with people without animosity. 

To me, it was always a scary fandom to be around, there are a lot of amazing people in it, a lot of great people, a lot of super smart people, but there was also always a lot of...elitism? I don’t know if that’s the right word, but I felt like I was never enough to access the fandom. Like I was always doing something wrong, that I would never know enough and that no matter what I did I was going to be eventually called out for something I did wrong (there was an overlap of peak tumblr social justice movement and online call out culture and peak les mis fandom on tumblr post 2012 movie that made it all more intense). 

I wrote a lot of Les Mis fic, most of which I’ve deleted because I didn’t like it, some of which is still the most personally important stuff I’ve written, regardless of how good or bad it is. There’s probably 2 fics I won’t delete ever, even if I end up disliking the writing, because of what they mean to me personally. 

But the Les Mis fandom is the only one of all the fandoms I’ve written for that I always felt I wasn’t good enough to even try. I got to a point in which I felt very discouraged with this overall sense of never being enough in any part of fandom and pretty much gave up on writing for it altogether. It’s the only fandom I ever chose to stop writing for because I felt I couldn’t live up to the demands of the fandom and I was afraid of the consequences of messing up. 

There are three big layers of issues for me in this, I’ll try to explain myself as best as I can. 

First (and this is true for every fandom, but in this one I felt it the most strongly at the time I was active in it), there was the fact that there were groups of fandom famous people who had accessibility that was difficult to obtain. Recommendation blogs sharing your work, artists drawing for your fics, other fandom famous authors recommending your stuff, that kind of things make fics more visible. I’ve never been the kind of person to promote my stuff too much because I don’t have the confidence for it, but networking in fandom is a part of the job if you want your stuff to be seen, for some folk being in the midst of fame comes easily and others work for it, but the truth is that community helps you have more feedback. 

I was never anywhere close to the fandom famous circles, my fics were recommended like maybe 3 times at best, and I am pretty much incompetent for social interactions, but I was also a bit scared of the whole group. 

I remember at one time there was a teenager who was called out for tracing art and it became a witch hunt to the point that someone made a blog specifically to call this teenager out on tracing and the kid closed their blog after all the aggression (I understand tracing is a problem but this kid was super young and being bullied like that was scary). I remember blogs posting humiliating bingo cards of fic tropes for certain ships and calling out writers for using them. I saw people coming at a friend’s comment section for the smallest things about a certain character’s interpretation. These things made me weary and I felt like trying to access that part of the fandom wasn’t going to be good for my emotional and mental stability. 

It wasn’t that fandom famous people were mean or cruel or unfair, not at all, there was a certain sense of...intensity in everything that happened. Some people found themselves in the circle and didn’t understand the power they had when they called out one person or recommended another. Fanon interpretations or ships became super accepted because some of these folks used them, to the point that your fic or art was invisible if you didn’t have that ship or interpretation in it, to the point that people started thinking some things were brick canon because of tropes born out of these folks. It wasn’t that they were intentionally moving that side of the fandom around but that things were so intense that fandom came and went in the direction these people did, even unintentionally. 

(And I say “part of the fandom” because, at that time, I felt the fandom was fragmented in the historical brick side, the modern au tumblr side, the musical side, and those who were a blend.)

The next issue I had was with what I mentioned of the overlay of tumblr’s social justice peak and the Les Mis modern au fandom peak, which is in part coincidental and in part, I assume, something that comes with the Les Mis territory, with it being a socially and politically compromised piece of work. 

People became incredibly aggressive towards how representation and diversity had to be handled on the Les Mis characterizations. I witnessed people calling others racist for the sole fact of writing Enjolras as a white person. There was a popular discourse about how those who didn’t identify in a certain way should be forbidden to write the characters in that way. There were people calling others toxic and abusive for shipping a certain ship and not another. It got really intense. 

This was around 2013, maybe early 2014, to give you an idea. It made me super weary of fucking up. Every time I added something that I felt could be seen under the social justice microscope, I apologized profusely before and after and begged people to call me out if something was wrong. I never felt, in any other fandom, that I was actually being a horrible person just for potentially making a mistake in characterization. I realized later that this was a very bad thing for my OCD and my obsessive episodes, which had become too strong in 2014, and it prompted a lot of ramifications I won’t talk about but yes, the mixture of Les Mis fandom and tumblr aggression was not good. 

The third and final thing that held me back, which holds me back for all my fics, is language. I’m not an English speaker. I don’t live nor have I ever traveled anywhere where English is spoken regularly. I write in Spanish. However, all my fics are in English because it’s the bridge language for fandom. That’s the language that has the most hosting platforms, the most fandom interaction, the most feedback, where all the online fandom movement is held. It’s my choice to use English for my fic, and it’s my responsibility if I fuck up, but I feel like from the get go I’m at a disadvantage when I feel I can’t quite give the same meaning to words as I would in my language. I always feel that my English writing is sub par in comparison to my native language. But I choose to sacrifice that in order to have more fandom interaction and meet more people. 

All in all, I think this comment hit me hard because with these summaries I felt I was finally having a good relationship with the fandom. That what I said was finally valid, whether right or wrong. That maybe the problems I had were caused by my inability to handle things at the time and by how intense tumblr in general was then and that things now could be different. And in the midst of that, I get this comment and all of this came rushing back to me. This feeling of not being good enough this fandom has always given me. 

That fic in particular is a super short very irrelevant ficlet I wrote for one Halloween almost 4 years ago I think now, a vampire and werewolf au. It isn’t meaningful or important, but I had a universe in my mind I wanted to somewhat explore. I don’t mind deleting it and keeping it as a personal copy just for me, it’s not one of my best works nor is it relevant to the fandom. But the aggression of the comment brought back this whole experience and reminded me why I had stepped out in the first place. 

Anyway, thanks so much for your nice message and your encouragement, it’s nice to see there are good people, accepting people around ♥ sorry for this long answer, but maybe it gives more context for my reaction that may seem very extreme without it. 

#ask #anon #anonymous #luly rambles #I'm hesitant about sharing all this but here we go #Anonymous

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Sander Sides Fic Rec

I’ve been reading some awesome fics on AO3 and I’d thought I would share them with others on Tumblr to check ‘em out if you haven’t yet!

Growing up Parts of a Whole by @amydiddle-fanfiction - Side by Side; Piece by Piece. While Thomas grew his sides did too. Each one a different part of him and each one developing on their own time before they were allowed out to interact with the others. They all have their story on how they formed and became aware of themselves and they each played their part even before they manifested in the physical world for the first time.

Notes: Ever wondered what the Sides were like as children? Then this fantastic series of oneshots & short novellas is for you! The wordbuilding in this is wonderful and the characterizations are great. 

In a Tizzy by @coconut-cluster -  "Headcanon that Roman acts so confident that the others rarely ever think to compliment him. He’s not used to being complimented, so on those rare occasions where he is, he gets all quiet & blushy & flustered."

Notes: This one was based on a tumblr post that was going around awhile back by @peachy-pattoncake. Prepare to have your heart destroyed by angst and then reconstructed by fluff. Logan discovers that Roman acts unusually flustered after he compliments him and in true Logan fashion decides to test out a hypothesis on this.

A Little Bit Naughty by @princessdarth-vader​ - Logan's parents have called him some terrible things. The truth is, he's a genius, and they're the stupid ones. Logan is determined to get his own back, and soon discovers he has a special power. With the help of his closest friends and some helpful grown-ups, Logan must unearth a secret far larger than himself in order to right the atrocities committed against him and change his story for good. Strap in, folks. It's the Matilda! AU that no-one asked for

Notes: Regrettably I’ve never read the book or seen the musical for Matilda, but this AU is still awesome as heck to read, even if you’re coming into the story without knowing that context. It features kid!genius Logan, Emile as a friendly librarian, Thomas as Logan’s kindergarten teacher and Roman and Patton as fellow students. The characterizations in this are great--Logan and the others are clearly children but still retain their personalities.

Within Bounds by Immortalnite -  It was the middle of winter when all the crops across the kingdom failed. The Winter Solstice, in fact, though almost no one knew that.

Notes: This fantasy au only has two chapters out but definitely deserving of a lot more love. It features Roman as a prince last in line for the succession of the throne being tasked by his father to contact the Elves for a solution to the crops problem. The writing is beautiful and the worldbuilding is terrific.

More Fic Recs below the cut!

Space (All I think about is you and me) by @hahanoiwont​ - They're all together when Virgil spaces out for the first(?) time. After being accepted, Virgil is becoming less anxious. Unsurprisingly, he is anxious about it.

Notes: This is a wonderful fic with fantastic worldbuilding that hinges on a slight AU. This perhaps features my favorite characterizations for both Virgil and Deceit. It takes place shortly after Virgil is welcomed into the famILY and the author does a good job of showing how Virgil is still adjusting to the fact he doesn’t put up the scary bad guy persona anymore. Deceit, on the other hand, is morally grey in this story. Neither friend nor foe, though he does lean towards the sympathetic side. I think the author handles his character tastefully.This fic does feature the author’s dark!side OCs but like w/ the canon characters they’re written well As you can see from this paragraph-long comment, I really really enjoy this fic!

The Consequences of Sound by Acantha_Echo - Anxiety hurts Thomas. It's just what he does, what he has always done. It's not what he wants. He only wants to protect him but that is easier wished for than done.When the opportunity to prove himself opens up to him, he grabs it, for once not caring about the consequences.Things go downhill from there.The fall, rise, fall (and rise again) of Virgil.

Notes: This fic follows Virgil from Thomas’ childhood to the present-ish. The current chapter takes place on the timeline around Losing My Motivation and My Personality Q&A. It features manipulative!Deceit who claims to be Virgil’s “friend.” Man, this fic is REALLY GOOD. There will be parts where your heart is torn into pieces because of Virgil’s predicaments. Please go read it if you can.

Fanged Friend by Demon_Writer - It burned. It scorched. The longer he waited the more intense it grew. He's never woken up so early with so much hunger. His breaths were like sharp icicles coming up and down his windpipe. Damn. He’s never been this hungry before. Every shuffle of feet and breath directed towards him was unnaturally..... tempting. Virgil's fangs pricked at his tongue and his eyes narrowed, but his mind couldn't have been any foggier. Virgil's worried he might end up taking more than just blood. At this rate it can only escalate.

Notes: Hi friends! Do you love vampires? Because BOY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU. What originally started out as an oneshot turned into a multi-chapter story with fascinating vampire lore and intriguing plot. It’s definitely one of my favorite fics to date!

Logan’s Room by @galacticallynonbinary​ - Logan Sanders knows everything. He has nothing new to learn. He's never talked to the other sides; there is nothing they could possibly teach him. But when they come knocking, his entire viewpoint comes into question

Notes: This is an oneshot, but it’s so wonderfully written that I had to include it in this fic rec! It’s just under 1k, but the characterizations are awesome and it’s based off the Mary’s Room thought experiment except with Logan and it’s great!

Written on Paper by @galacticallynonbinary​ - Logan is in charge of facts. They all come to him on small pieces of paper. Sometimes, they fly in on paper airplanes. The paper planes taunt him, and paper storms and paper avalanches make him worry for the other sides.Or: Idioms are real and incredibly distressing

Notes: Yes it’s another fic by galacticallynonbinary, and it also features Logan, but it’s such a clever fic I had to include it as well! I love how they take idioms and make them take on literal forms in the mindscape. This fic has a snowball effect where things become progressively worse and worse for Logan until the climax hits and I love how it keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Wings of Anxiety by Shadecrawler - Virgil normally kept his wings pressed tight against his back. He never let them out to stretch when he was outside his room. Yes, they got sore after a little while and yes, it rustled his feathers to the point that it took forever to groom them.But, he couldn’t take them out. He just couldn’t. Dark Sides didn’t have wings. Only Light Sides did.

Notes: I’m always a sucker for hurt/comfort and this fic definitely hits that sweet spot. Plus, I adore wing!au fics in general. Thomas is featured heavily in the second half of this two-shot and that’s always a plus!

A Letter from Me to You (For Better or Worse) by writing_regen - Fate may have some ideas on who we can be. Yet we are the only ones that can see it through. There is a disconnect between who we were born to be and who we become. That gap - that uncertainty, is where others can find room for exploitation.

Prince Logan has always felt out of place, even with his advisor Patton at his side. Roman, a tailor winding the streets in hopes of something greater won't let his dreams be crushed, even as Virgil tries to act as the only reliable voice of reason in his life. Around the corner hides another dark twisted tale of dreams, and it knows what it needs to get what it wants.

Notes: This is a brand new fic but I’m definitely excited to see where it goes! The author stated in their notes that it’s based off the Princess and Pauper. I already love the dynamics of Patton’s and Logan’s relationship in the first chapter--they’re childhood friends who’ve grown up together, with Patton being the one to drag Logan along for adventures.  

Redemption of a Prince by @anxious-baby-nightmare -  Roman feels as though his behavior is negatively impacting the rest of the group and tries to change himself for the better. But is that what everyone else thinks?

Notes: Hey do you love Roman “Princey” Sanders? Do you love angst? THEN THIS HERE IS THE FIC FOR YOU. Don’t worry, though it’s angst with a happy ending. This was a fun ride from start to finish, and I loved the author’s worldbuilding with the mechanics of the Imagination.

#thomas sanders #sander sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #kat fic rec