#fluttershy should get to say fuck

[the-house-of-aces]

Personally, I think Fluttershy should get to say fuck.

#My Little Pony #Fluttershy #mlp #I'm yet again being obsessed with other childrens show #to be fair mlp slaps #flutterbat though #flutterbat would say fuck if given the chance #fluttershy is not allowed to though #thats a crime #fluttershy should get to say fuck #she should please she should

[spideyladman]

Imagine if ponies in My Little Pony did Timblr posts, I just know it would be chaotic as hell lmfao 😭😭😭

6 notes

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🎉lifeoftheparty

I'm thinking about either adding glitter or sparkles to my cake, what do you guys think? :3

🍎applefarm

Sugarsweet, you could die from that

🎉lifeoftheparty

Festive!!! 🎉🎉🎉

350 notes

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🕶trendingtrends--deactivated

Do you guys think that Twilight Sparkle could've blackmailed Celestia into getting the wings? I mean, come on! How does that even work? How does a unicorn get wings? Unless there was some blackmailing I don't believe that she could've gotten them naturally

💎rarityonthedime

Well you shouldn't assume things! Though it was sudden finding out that she could get wings, it is entirely possible that through the magic of friendship, anything can happen, somehow!

🕶trendingtrends--deactivated

Okay I'm gonna be nice to you because you're a mare, but don't you think you should be working instead of thinking?

💎rarityonthedime

I'm not going to be nice to you, and as my little sister would say, L+bozo+your mother never loved you+you failed school+you have not paid attention to lessons+even I have more thinking capabilities than you could ever imagine+please think before you post+KYS (Keep Yourself Safe) because I will find you

🌩the-coolest-pony-in-town

Girl you killed him you found him fr

16,097 notes

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🌟princess-of-friendship

Can someone check on @plant-and-animals for a moment? Flurry Heart just blew up the microwave again and Celestia added crow skulls to the water supplies and she's now in the hospital

🛡royalguardcaptainofficial

Literally nothing could've prepared me for that sentence

100,798 notes

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🐇plant-and-animals

Whoever is making that noise I swear to fuck if you don't turn down that noise I will find you I am trying to sleep I swear to fuck

🐇plant-and-animals

Turns out it was Angel, I am so sorry sweetie 🥺

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🐉discord-of-all-trades

Phew! Thank Celestia (can'tbelieveI'msayingthat-) that I managed to pin the trouble on that angry rabbit! Now I've got to make sure to silence my game

🐉discord-of-all-trades

Wait. Fluttershy follows this account.

🌩the-coolest-pony-in-town

Oh you're dead for sure

🐉discord-of-all-trades

I JUST DELETED THIS POST WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE YOU REBLOGGING IT

🌩the-coolest-pony-in-town

Why not? :3

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🍏flim-brother

Who exploded the machine.

🍎applefarm

Oh I don't know, WHO put a crow skull in MY farm's water supply?

🍏flim-brother

WHAT. OH MY CELESTIA ARE YOU OKAY???????????

🍎applefarm

Wait that wasn't you, you con-brother?

🍏flim-brother

NO??????????? JUST 'CAUSE WE'RE ENEMIES IT DOESN'T MEAN I WOULD DO THAT TO YOU. AND I JUST CHECKED MY BROTHER HE JUST WOKE UP FROM HIS NAP AND DIDN'T DO ANYTHING EITHER

🍎applefarm

. Huh.

🍏flim-brother

Wait did you blow up the machine???

🍎applefarm

. I'll pay for the damage

🍏flim-brother

Deal, in exchange of me helping you whoever in the world put that skull inside of your water supply, what is their problem??????

Update: Celestia did it. I fell into a well after she accidentally (hopefully) threw me so that I couldn't be in her way while she was running from the hospital. I have a pet frog now

🍎applefarm

He has a pet frog now, can confirm

6,789 notes

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🎉lifeoftheparty

Okay who in Celestia put a crow's skull in my tea today? It's not a very good prank :(

🍎applefarm

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE EXPERIENCING THIS. WHAT IN TARNATION IS GOING ON???

567 notes

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🌌luna-the-sneeler

What is Celestia doing she just jumped out the window

🌌luna-the-sneeler

Girl what did you do.

🌟princess-of-friendship

What happened? What could've happened that would've led to her jumping out the window?!

🌟princess-of-friendship

Girl what did you do.

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🚀of-course-its-not-celestias-account

I just threw skulls into the water supply, the weed has affected me

🌌luna-the-sneeler

Gurl what the fuck kinda weed are you smoking weed does not make you do that

🚀of-course-its-not-celestias-account

Nuh-uh

🌌luna-the-sneeler

Fym nuh-uh???

🌌luna-the-sneeler

She just told me that she tried to jump out the window to avoid responsibility of paying. She's still gonna pay tho, but I think she's gonna do it again

🧀secondlifeoftheparty

I'm calling the police

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🐲true--dragon

Am I a furry?

#<:^

5 notes

#spideygal #spideygal oc #huesitos!! #mlp au #my little pony #pinkie pie #applejack #rarity #rainbow dash #twilight sparkle #flurry heart #shining armor #fluttershy #discord #flim and flam #flim #flam #flim flam brothers #luna #celestia #cheese sandwich #surreality #spike #tumblr text post #tumblr text meme #cw skull #weed #cw weed #cw drugs

[rzyraffek]

Could you please do headcanons Slashers (like Michael, Brahms, Billy, The Sinclair brothers) as caregivers for their S/O who is an age regressor

Or headcanons for those Slashers when they find out their s/o is an age regressor?

Okay I acually went and educated myself on this topic for you my dear anon🥰🌼

if your uncomfortable with topic of age regression pls dont read that😭

So basically as far as I understand age regression means that somone acts like child due to some traumatic event??? And like they act childlike and participate in child typical activies (such as drawing with crayons, speaking like a toddler, drinking from bottles ect) if i make headcanon that don't make any sense im sorry! I have no experience with this topic! ALSO this is pure platonic! Age regression isn't a kink or a fetish!!

Slashers with age regressor y/n

Brahms Heelshire

Tbh y/n acting childish kinda woke up his inner child, CUZ HE LITTERALY GOT LOCKED IN WALLS IN AGE OF LIKE 10 so he kinda missed out on some fun stuff

100% plays hide and seek! Or tag! My man loves some good round of hide and seek, this place is huge! *insert british accent* "oh you little scallop... if I find you I will tickle you so hard..."

Question: age regression is like temporary or like forever thing? Like regressor acts like that when they are in bad metal state or just always? Bcs if always then it might be hard with Brahms, see he kinda.... has mommy's issues has huge need to be taken care of, probably similar to y/n's, he kinda wants a person who will just pamper him and make him feel like he's the single child yknow? All the attention on him? Yknow what i mean??

If y/n draws him something nice, dude will put it on a fridge with a magnet and be proud

If thats like temporary thing, he acaully will ask a lot of questions: how should he act? Do you remember anything? How does it work? Can he get some cuddles? Do you still love him while regressing? (Ofc you do, but he doest understand)

Billy Lenz

You guys vibe

Dude won't see any difrence😭

Yay one more reason to watch cartoons together! (His favorite ponny is rarity and fluttershy)

If y/n babytalks and uses toddler-like vocabulary... dude will mimic it😭 he just thinks that will help with communication😭 its not like you guys struggle with it or anything, Billy is just build like that

Yall draw together, his artstyle already looks like toddler drew it (not in cute way)

Plays dolls with y/n (but he acually makes it interesting! Like he makes it all dramatic and the tea is just jawdropping)

Also don't bother explaining what is age regression, just say "sometimes I act like kid to cope"😭

Micheal Myers

Judges

But kinda likes it, not in weird way! He enjoys taking care of y/n, but he has his own ways of doing so

He won't play with them or let them cuddle him too much

But he accepts little drawings and stickers that y/n gives him

He is still stalking them, making sure noone tries to bully them or anything

He is very protective, for example if y/n cuts their finger while making food, dude is all over them: Oh no no dont cry! Uhhh.... uhhh oh! See a pretty bandage? With puppies! Pls dont cry...

On rare days he is acually around (phicially i mean, cuz hes always around just not interacting with y/n) and it happens for him to be in good mood too, he will let y/n nap on him or put some stickers on his outfit- he never takes them of btw, the only reason that stickers wash of is the field he 'works' in? Yknow a lot of mud blood and water. He also holds y/n hand if they are spooked

And he fucking loves fluttershy and applejack

Steals some cute shirts and socks for them!

Sinclair Bros

Bo is the least understanding, tbh he will lisen to y/n only if they have very good relationship

Vince is just 👍

And Lester is acually very open to the idea

Drawing and playing dolls with Vincent

Going on cool drives with Lester

And napping with Bo

Whole fridge is covered in drawings and cute magnets

All Vincent's notebooks and Lester truck covered in stickers

Even Bo gun didnt escape the sticker apocalypse

Vince made special wax figurines for y/n

Lester calls them "kiddo" 😭😭

Bo puts his hand on their head and rubs it till their hair goes all puffy

They all act like older brothers who have to take care of younger siblings while perents are away😭😭

Vince acually vents to regressing y/n and they are just like: "man I just wanna pet the dog"

Bonus round! Added few more!!

Bubba Sawyer

Bestie vibes

Yall just spend time playing with dolls and drawing together

Absolutely lets y/n nap on him

He totally combs their hair and puts them in nice bun (or if y/n has short hair he will just brush it)

He kinda sees age regression as lil break from reality? Like you two can just vibe and act they way you want to😊 he enjoys, cuz tbh he do be acting like child(not in bad way!) And his happy that you both can do all those child-like activities without being judged by other person

Bit y/n once

Asa Emory

Ew a child

I mean

Idk he gives me "the dad that never has time for u cuz he has too much work"

Like yep he will read y/n a bed time story and he will tell them all about bugs and nature. But hes busy most of time

OMG ABOUT BED TIME STORIES Asa will read you one but he is so exhausted that he acually falls asleep first

He trusts them and knows that even whilr regressing they wont do anything dumb, but he still bans them from his 'workroom' theres... well some photos and drawings of victims and i doubt y/n wants to see it

Lets them sit on his lap while he reads newspaper like middle-aged man he is

Gives lil head kisses before sleep

Bug themed plushies and figures

Makes y/n watch animal planet and bbc nature with him

When he's out for longer periods of time he will buy them McDonald's as an apology

Welp

Done. I hope it makes sense! I never witnessed anyone age regress so idk how relatable it is!! I used x reader tags only to reach bigger audience

#slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #billy lenz #billy lenz x reader #brahms heelsire #brahms x reader #micheal myers #micheal myers x reader #asa emory x reader #the collector x reader #bubba saywer x reader #bubba sawyer #age regression #sfw agere #request open #asa x reader

[insidejizz]

ROBOTUS alpha-beta headcanons

first writing post is gonna be some general headcanons for everyones favorite robot =) feel free to request any other characters , or anything at all 

// he wont outright say it but he. has a bias against bears because of bearo now.

mostly he just makes like petty comments if he sees a bear or anything? calls them stupid and annoying

of course this would quickly change if anyone gave him something that was a bear.

hed make some comment about it, something about how "you must not know me very well if you thought this was a good gift" but also he. wont give it up no matter what.

like if they offered to get him something else? its instantly 'no takebacks live with your choices' because he refuses to genuinely say he likes something that is bear themed.   but he does.

// i think if he had access to more shows (reagan please give him access to ur streaming services PLEASE) he would still love lighthearted cheesy shit like sitcoms

like as much as he enjoys high stakes where humans all die (lol), he finds it a lot more fun to watch shows where its just a bunch of. harmless idiots existing.

the office, parks and rec, schitts creek, etc etc. 

of course this makes him. insufferable to any non-sitcom enjoyer but if you show him other things you can wean him off of it u just gotta find other funny shows

one time he compared reagan to sheldon from big bang theory. he didnt….. mean it to be mean? it was a simple observation, but it did NOT go over well with reagan 

other shows he would enjoy, imo;

the good place

game shows! he gets SO heated watching gameshows bc he will play along and get mad if he cant get the answers right shgsghjdsjgn

columbo

gravity falls

// does not know his own strength sometimes and will just like crush shit in his hand accidentally

like he doesnt. MEAN to but hell be holding something and then flex his hand a little to make sure its not locking up and WHOOPS he crushed that solo cup and now reagan has to fix a beer-logged robot arm

tries to hold a cardboard box gently and just rips holes into it trying to get the right strength grip on the box

with things that are more solid, hes just fine because he can stop when he feels resistance and know he's holding it firmly but not breaking anything

but with fragile things? there is no resistance and then its broken and hes like. aw fuck

// myc gave him a furby at one point. said he found it in storage and it reminded him of ab because it never shuts up and runs on batteries.

ab HATES it. absolutely loathes the thing. it sets a bad example for robotkind, its UGLY, its ANNOYING, and he CANT MAKE IT SHUT UP.

has taken out the batteries before . insists that it kept going even after he took them out so he just put them back in anyway

( in reality he took the batteries out, got lonely, and put them back in)

he gave it a name but its like. a WEIRD ASS name. its essentially just a glitch noise

said he did it bc "no human should ever be allowed to sully its name" which is. oddly endearing in his own way

if you are able to sneak up on him you might be able to hear him cooing at the furby. plots world domination with it like an evil mastermind and his cat

// WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT AND ONLY REAGAN KNOWS BC THEY SHARE THE SAME STREAMING SERVICES BUT…….. he LOVES my little pony. specifically equestria girls

cried watching the first equestria girls movie, refuses to admit he cried watching the first equestria girls movie.

he also… secretly imagines the gang as the mane six? it wasnt hard for him to decide who was who and he will just sit there during meetings like "haha that is SO rainbowdash of you myc…."

(if youre interested, his assignments are :)

myc ; rainbow dash

glenn ; applejack

gigi ; rarity

reagan ; twilight sparkle

andre ; pinkie pie

brett ; both spike and fluttershy. ab will argue for both and he will win the argument.

(btw he sees himself as sunset shimmer<3<3<3<3)

#REDACTED #robotus #robotus alpha-beta #robotus alpha beta #alpha beta #alpha-beta #robotus inside job #robotus headcanons #inside job netflix #inside job headcanons #- angel #thank you for reading :)

[curdled-blood]

Ur fav chars in general? (or comfort)

OOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO EEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

I'm so happy you asked anon !! Here's how I'm gonna do this. I'm just gonna name my favs and comforts from the fandoms I'm in + some honorable mentions :3 (no particular order btw)

First things first!!

Creepypasta !!

• Ok obviously Jeff the killer but tbh idk if he's my favorite per say, but he is DEFINITELY a source of comfort for me ever since I was like 10 😭 i even have an oc to ship eith him LOLL her name is Ashley King and tbh i should post abt her more i think yall would like her

• Idk why but I think my tippy top favorites gotta be the slender family. I just always been specifically obsessed with their aspects of the creepypasta... Ness. I've also become like super attached to my little versions of them eeehehehh. It fucking makes me mad that ppl r still attached to the gross version of Fen and won't MOVE THE FUCK ON FROM IT and get pissed when ppl make their own versions 😡

• LAUGHING JACK !!!!! HES SO SILLY AND DEVIOUS I LOVE HIM SM. I kinda go back and forth on sinking for him tbh, but this dude was a massive source of comfort to me in middle school

• Nurse Ann is my wife btw. We're literally married ong

• I always thought that Bloody Painter was pretty fucking neat and I liked how his story wasn't written like total DOG SHIT like most creepypastas. Tho I fucking hate his creator (BOOOO DOOODOOCAT U SUCK. SAME WITH LJ. BOOOOOOO 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻)

My little pony

• Dear God ok I don't have a single favorite mlp character because I love so many of them that if I started naming my favorites, I'd end up naming every character in the fucking show 😭

• "But Lie!! Isn't it Fluttershy? Your pfp is her!!" ok I rlly like Fluttershy but idk if she's my favorite tho lol.

• Ok yk what I might be lying cuz I rlly do end up fixating on my hcs for her and her relationship with Discord lmaoooo. I just.. I just loved vampire!fluttershy flutterbat so fucking muuuuuch and discord with a vampire wife?!!?!??! AAAAAAAAAH.

• But discord is definitely a fav lolz. I love how he's literally just Q from star trek LMFAOOOO

• For some reason, I really really really LOOOOOOVE Spitfire's design AND name. I just love her colors, hair, and the fact that her name is Spitfire like the plane AHDHWHJAJA

• I've always been a big fan of Celstia too. I love how she's basically royal God but has this huge silly side :3

One piece

• Buggy. Buggy. Buggy. Buggy was my first favorite, as soon as I saw him I fell the fuck in love with him

• Crocodile is also so whdhajdjwiak. I love villains sm. I love when they're just evil to be evil.

• I think my favorite straw hats r Luffy, Chopper, and Nami. Nami just like me fr. I too am a red head who likes to steal money

• Ok so. This one isnt a favorite but he's a huge source of comfort because i made a whole ass oc to ship with him... It's fucking Klahadore. I've been obsessed with him lately I'm shriveling andjwjakkskdjan

Powerpuff Girls

• one of my main comfort characters is fucking Ace Copular from fucking power puff girls. YEAH. THE FUCKING GREEN POINTY GUY. it makes me wanna crumple in a ball I low-key wish he wasn't but I l9vr him sm and i wanna hit him with a hammer/aff

• HIM. I LOVE HIM SM I SDORE HIM AHDHWHSBGAGDGAGR

anyways anon thx for asking and I'm so sorry I went the fuck off

#curdled asks #curdled words #creepypasta #jeff the killer #slender family #laughing jack #bloody painter #nurse ann #my little pony #fluttershy #flutterbat #discord #spitfire mlp #princess celestia #one piece #buggy the clown #sir crocodile #klahadore #monkey d. luffy #tony tony chopper #nami #powerpuff girls #ace copular #him ppg

[spacestationstorybook]

3, 5 and 9 + Rainbow dash, 14, 16 and 18 + Glados, 4, 7 and 20 + Karlach for the fem f/o asks please!

💌donahdevotees💌

WOOHOO thanks so much @donahdevotees!! <3333 i love. Women

3. What foods does she love that you hate and vice versa? i actually think we might have more in common than not (canonically she loves to carboload which Same and also dislikes pie which. same! for the most part. sorry‏‏‎ ‎pinkie.‏‏‎ ‎though i do like chocolate pies just nothing with fruit in them) but i feel like while she snacks a lot she also eats a lot of weird health food to help her stay in shape which i'm not a fan of. not sure what i like that she wouldn't i'm usually the pickier one. i guess the chocolate pies lol

5. Do you stash snacks for each other? What kind? i believe in my heart and soul that she's a sour gummy worm girl. probably doritos and other chips too (she likes spicy chips i like tangy ones. salt and vinegar ftw) we probably have similar snack preferences but we both kind of hate to share (unless it's one of those ginormous bags) so i like to think she keeps a little cupboard just for astral‏‏‎ ‎snacks‏‏‎ ‎(or more likely astral keeps a cupboard for her because she lives in the sky so she's probably visiting them more than vice versa.)

9. Do you have nicknames for each other? just mentioned calling her speedy...which again. precious. dashie‏‏‎ ‎of course but since that one's a little more cutesy it's usually used during private just the two of them time (pinkie‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎ ‎fluttershy‏‏‎ ‎use it too but well. they're pinkie‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎ ‎fluttershy).‏‏‎ ‎astral's name doesn't lend itself to nicknames so well but ohhhh my god what if she called them sparky like to go with speedy.......FUCK okay that's adorable

answering the rest under a cut because my answers to ask games get long sorry haha

14. What are your thoughts on each other's profession? Do you visit each other at work? they technically have the same job lol which is scientist at‏‏‎ ‎aperture‏‏‎ ‎labs‏‏‎ ‎but after‏‏‎ ‎portal!nyx‏‏‎ ‎gets their robot body and aperture‏‏‎ ‎becomes defunct they don't Have to work anymore they just do it for fun. they help her set up the testing chambers. sometimes they go above ground just to explore but they always come back and tell her about their day :)

16. What type of gifts do you give each other? (For birthdays, special occasions, holidays, etc) i think‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎glados‏‏‎ ‎likes running little simulations for portal!nyx‏‏‎ ‎to complete (enrichment for them!!) so for a special occasion she'd run a really advanced and intricate one like some sort of one person escape room or something. she doesn't really get the point of holidays and such but she does like to see them having fun.‏‏‎ ‎and in exchange they bring her little gifts from aboveground :) books or stuffed animals or shirts with dumb sayings on them (she can't wear them but they amuse her).

18. What's one moment in your relationship where she changed your perspective of yourself and vice versa? i feel like‏‏‎ ‎portal!nyx‏‏‎ ‎struggles a lot with feeling useful and important (one of my most common insecurities to give to my s/is). and i think that‏‏‎ ‎while‏‏‎ ‎glados‏‏‎ ‎is somewhat annoyed by them at first (though she still chose to put them in the robot body soooooo) they feel energized by all the little tasks she gives them and while sometimes they're lonely it's nice to find meaning in being useful for someone. as for vice versa portal!nyx‏‏‎ ‎is the classic Villain's Soft Spot so maybe they just change her perspective of herself as rageful and evil allll the time. (just some of the time)

4. What drink does she order for you? What do you order for her? oh i LOVE trying weird drinks and‏‏‎ ‎karlach‏‏‎ ‎loves trying weird anything in general.‏‏‎ ‎i think‏‏‎ ‎aerax‏‏‎ ‎should get a fancy lemonade that like changes color (which‏‏‎ ‎in‏‏‎ ‎the‏‏‎ ‎original‏‏‎ ‎bg3‏‏‎ ‎setting would probably be because of magic) and‏‏‎ ‎karlach‏‏‎ ‎should get hmmmm. something tropical probably....maybe a pina colada that'd be fun (regarding alcoholic drinks i have no idea about my own preferences yet because i'm 20 in america but i like virgin margaritas so we'll say‏‏‎ ‎aerax‏‏‎ ‎likes real margaritas)

7. What hobbies do you share? What hobbies do you do separately but encourage the other about? both of them LOVE adventuring and discovering new things!‏‏‎ ‎karlach specifically likes more dangerous stuff and aerax...could really give or take the life threatening peril but loves discovering new plants or animals or spells or anything really.‏‏‎ ‎karlach‏‏‎ ‎is very into athletic pursuits and‏‏‎ ‎aerax‏‏‎ ‎is fairly strong but not nearly to her level but they like to encourage her (it helps that she can pick them up easily despite them being almost as tall as her).‏‏‎ ‎aerax‏‏‎ ‎is a big reader and‏‏‎ ‎karlach‏‏‎ ‎is not so much but she Does let‏‏‎ ‎aerax recommend her things they think she'll like as long as they don't make her read any of the big dusty spellbooks.

20. Free space, gush about her/your ship! she is SOOOO lovely...definitely the‏‏‎ ‎number one thing that got me into��‏‎ ‎bg3.‏‏‎ ‎there were many other smaller things but i might not have bought it and just been content to enjoy it through my mutuals if it hadn't been for her. she's so tough but also SO kind and caring despite all she's been through and she feels so much...she deserves to never have anything bad happen to her ever again forever

#i just realized how similar‏‏‎ ‎dash‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎ ‎karlach‏‏‎ ‎are.‏‏‎ ‎it really does all loop back around to her in the end. #asks for me #ship: prismatic #ship: for the love of science #ship: heat lightning

[moonlight-eternal]

Greetings, denizens of this intangible ſpace. I am Gwyndolin, Goddess of the Darkmoon, lastborn child of the Great Lord Gwyn, patron goddess of justice and bearer of the Soul of Cold. Events have conſpired to bring me to this other place against my will. I worry greatly for Lordran in mine abſence, for the First Flame ever fadeth and, though diſtasteful is the act, ſacrifices must be offered as kindling with regularity, with the world's ſurvival prolonged in proportion to the magnitude of souls a ſavior Linketh unto the flame. The time approacheth again mere decades hence and preparations must be made to train the next heroic Undead and guide them along the path; to that end I seek return to the lands of my birth, that I might lay out the ſtrengthening challenges once more.

While here, however, I do resolve to learn of this odd realm, and to partake of its hoſpitality and its challenges. I am, outside of duty, a scholar: of three forms of magic, and of archery, and it would be remiſs to recuse myself from learning as well the skill of battling with pokemon. Therefore I do swear to train a team and ascend to Champion, should time allow while my search progreſseth toward a way to travel home.

I have one pokemon already, though I know its ſpecies not. Twas a brown and large-eared ſort, with fluffy tail, which did approach me like a cat upon my Fall. Foolishly I did reach out in trust, against my cautious habit, and as my fingers brushed across its fur a change did come at once. The beaſt now sporteth fur of white, with ribbons upon her neck all tipped in pink and blue. I have named her Ornstein, after a friend most dear to me, who did transform her body just like this creature, and myself in past, have done.

A settlement lieth ahead along the road; I shall make my way to its gates and seek insight as to the journey ahead.

[OOC info under the cut.]

Hi it's me again from @the-fluffiest-trainer, yes I know Dark Souls is quite a different vibe from MLP, but it's also my favorite game ever and I can't let the growing crowd of Bloodborne Fallers have all the fun, now can I? Gwyndolin and Fluttershy are in the same world and the same Kalos and can conceivably run into each other. This is mostly because I am still not very familiar with pokemon and didn't want to have to double my research and play through another game in parallel, but also because it will be really funny to see them meet.

This world is closer to the anime than to the games, with expanded regions and less emphasis on hard game mechanical details in pokemon battles. I write what makes sense from the perspective of living in the world, even if the numbers and code might not agree.

Important info and ground rules:

With this blog in particular, much more so than with Fluttershy's blog, I am going to have a very twitchy finger on the block button. This has nothing to do with you; this is just due to my own personal requirements in this specific context.

Pronouns are she/her exclusively. IC misgendering will be responded to with hostility. OOC misgendering may get you blocked, because it means you haven't read this pinned post and I really need people to have read this before interacting.

Gwyndolin arrived to Kalos via random ultra wormhole, same as many Fallers, from roughly the ds1 player's time period.

Pelipper mail is on, however...

I am extremely autistic about this game and I guarantee I know what ds1 canon does and does not say. If you make reference to something that's in ds3 but not in ds1, I will know.

If you put ds3 shit in my inbox, I will almost certainly not respond to it.

If the above happens too frequently, I will close all mail. And that's no fun for any of us.

If you send me particularly graphic or offensive ds3 shit, I will block you. Do not fucking test me on this.

Gwyndolin's pokemon team:

Ornstein (she/her), sylveon, who found Gwyndolin upon her Fall as an eevee but evolved instantly upon being pet, just due to the sheer transgender energy Gwyndolin imparted.

Andre (he/him), snom, found on Route 19 and initially thought to be a crystal lizard.

N/A

N/A

N/A

N/A

Text colors and formats used:

Gwyndolin: Standard black text

Visual description in videos: [Bracketed italicized black text]

[unknown]: Purple text. This person first appeared in the "#impish stranger arc" and their name is not yet known.

Content warnings for this blog:

Canonical events of Pokemon X

Trainers can be affected by pokemon moves if improperly targeted

Possible mentions of past transphobia and parental abuse

Not post-apocalyptic themes per se, more like... actively working to push off a foreseeable apocalypse. If Gwyndolin gets home again and does her job, there never will be an apocalypse.

Current deviations from normal:

Gwyndolin got cat ears pelipper mailed to her, and has not yet noticed that she has them because of the mask she wears all the time.

#pokeblogging #pokemon irl #pokeblog rp #rotomblr #intro post

[vampirezogar]

Y'know, in retrospect, it's very fuckin weird that Pinkie Pie turned out to be the cannibal. It should have been any of the other mane six. Rarity is an obvious pick, I don't need to explain that one; Applejack probably would have been saddled with some unkind stereotypes but she'd do it; Fluttershy? Fuck, if that bitch had been eating everypony all along, I would not be surprised in the least; Rainbow Dash could have easily snapped under pressure and murdered someone, and Twilight Sparkle would have been there saying shit like, "someone is going to find the body. You know what you have to do."

Pinkie on the other hand might have started eating parts of herself. Don't get me wrong tho, she's definitely capable of murder, I just don't see her doing it for the meat. Hell, chances are if she's killing, she's passing kills off to Rarity in exchange for what she calls "high quality rock."

If anything, Pinkie probably puts that shit in the cupcakes.

[your-local-uwu-artist]

How about 16 for the love your fandom ask game? :D

omg so many

-Monika (ddlc) having previously been in debate team is important to me

-Magolor didn't intentionally mean to use kirby to get the master crown, just to fix his ship. so the beggining part of magolor being touched by kirby and co.'s kindness is probably genuine

-Madoka having drawn her magical girl outfit, I feel she probably likes to draw and doodle and color :3

-Raku-chan (nnsg) went to college

-I actually have this whole slideshow of random southpark things that keep me up at night including random details

-Papyrus collects figurines :DDDDD

-*insert every single sans + toriel interaction and detail and overall soriel evidence and momentss*

-dude i have SOOO many of these for my little pony, ESSEPCIALLY for world building. am I reading into it all WAY too much: yes: is it fun as hell to do that: YES. like how the majority of Equestria's leaders are all female, even small ones like Mayor Mare. the out of universe answer is cause it was marketed for girls but in universe I can't help but wonder if they got reverse sexism going on. aside from Guards men like shining armor and if I remember correctly I believe the founders of the wonderbolts had some guys, Chancellor neighsay is one of few stallions of high position. I wonder if some of the guys racism and bigotry and power obsession comes from struggles trying to achieve a possesion in power as a guy. I also wonder if fluttershy would have been bullied less for being timid if she weren't a pegasus, Stuff like the pegasus leader pre-equestria being a commander and pegasi being called 'brutes' and generally shown to be thought of as aggressive makes me wonder if perhaps stuff like being outwardly 'tough' is valued in pegasus culture, and thus being timid esspecially looked down upon. I think about spikes egg all the time: no way did celestia randomly find a dragon egg. I imagine a dragon's egg is just as if not more protected than a dragon's hoard, like... Celestia definitely did some shady stuff to get that egg I'm saying. the majority of upperclass society like those in canterlot are unicorns. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS NFJSNJKE I think equestrian society is more idealic than ours because they're country was founded on 'we should all be nice to each other' isn't it kinda fucked up that after centureis of being imprisoned on the moon luna still had to go to prison ofter? yeah like I said I have a lot of thoughts: if anyone ever wants to talk about my little pony my scedrule magically becomes empty

[princess-of-the-corner]

Sunset Shimmer: *gets zapped* "Why do I smell bacon?"

Fluttershy: "Um..." *tugs on Sunset's "hair"*

Sunset Shimmer: "..." *breaks off a piece*

Sunset Shimmer: "I really should have seen this coming."

Sunset: "Stars fucking damn it."

Sci-Twi: "You know I meant to ask. You told us that the versions of Celestia, Luna, Discord and even Chrysalis are basically Gods within your world. So why don't you say 'Celestia fucking damn it' or some variation?

Sunset: "Because if I say 'Celestia fucking damn it', Celestia herself might show up and, in fact, fucking damn whatever I was talking about."

[intherainbowfactory]

Hey.

Crazy weather we're having, huh?

Yeah, I know I haven't been posting much writing. It's just that I've got a college application appeal to worry about, paranoia about the admissions officers snooping around my online presence, end-of-semester projects to do and essays to write for semifinals, yadda yadda yadda.

I've also wanted to be able to finish my writing, or at least make it a little more complete, before I post it, because phew! wow. those early posts I like the story of, but uhhh yeah. Gotta get around to those, but probably extremely low priority. My highest priority right now is the fluttershy nature fun writing thing for @woo-catwaffles (check em out! [also, check out @toyfriskman, they have really cool posts]) which is going very well, I should say. I've also got the soldier tf2 thing and the knight in ponyville thing, which are looking pretty sexy right now...

but who gives a fuck.

MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

(a demo.)

#music #writing

[bitchapalooza]

People(parents and coworkers) saying I wasted my money on a cheeseburger shaped backpack that I claim to have spent 40$ on when it was in fact the best damn 60$ spent ever. Wait until they find out I spent 40$ on a pink cat or 3$ on a buff fluttershy without the wings or how I must have spent a little more than 100$ on pokemon cards.

I mean I really dont fucking get why theyre trying to shame me for spending my money my way on my vacation. At least I dont continuously spend money on a deadly addiction like vaping and cigarettes. Its literally just a cool backpack, a silly figure, some buttons/pins, some snacks, pieces of cardboard with shiny art on it, a plushie, and a hoodie. I was concious of my money, I did stop when I needed to stop. Miraculously my impulses were VERY calm and I'm SO thankfull it was because if I would have seen that 275$ base set pristine condition Charizard on day 1, I would have bought him on the goddamn spot and would have most of the things I have now. I thought things through. Okay maybe I should have thought the wingless buff fluttershy through more, but no I do not regret buying her, I love her, she's on my shelf right fucking now after being in the shop unsaleable for the past 6 or so months. I love her and her weird awkward mold, whY ARE HER TITS SO B I G

#like for fucks sake cant i just buy things that make me happy? #talkies

[slayonces]

DPS characters as things me and my friends have said

a lot of this translated from arabic or hindi so please give me grace if something is a little weird sounding 😭 saw someone do this idk who sawri

—————————————————————

Cameron: i dont get why you’re insecure you’re not That fat

Everyone: ??????????!!!!?

Cameron: what did i say?

—————————————————————————————————————

Charlie: Me and Todd are Trixie and Katya and you’re like …… Mimi Imfurst

Neil: I dont know what that means but suck my dick

—————————————————————————————————————

Charlie: *about cameron* grab his midget balls off and pickle THEM and make him eat that.

Knox: ..Sure

—————————————————————————————————————

*Neil is sending a voice note and starts doing food ASMR with cucumbers*

Meeks: that asmr was so nasty. . .

Neil: KYS you should be so lucky to hear my ASMR

—————————————————————————————————————

*group discussing old guilty pleasures*

Todd: i used to have a secret obsession w MLP… but i could never profess my love </3

Neil: ME TOO!! i loved fluttershy

Charlie: oh god i hated pinkiepie so much though like that loud ass bitch even louder than me get the fuck out of here before I cut ur little pink shake n go Afro

Knox: right.. and twilight sparkle is so not cunt

—————————————————————————————————————

*Talking About Cameron*

Charlie: i WOULDNT even consider dating him even in my butch realness I’m prettier than that thank god

—————————————————————————————————————

Neil: delete that tweet, im being fr…

Charlie: okay ms fr, talking to me in cishetro damn

—————————————————————————————————————

Knox: and i can be ur beard😊

Chris: you can barely be a beard for yourself

Charlie: he said that with complete confidence, “I’ll be your beard” headass PLEASE BE SERIOUS

—————————————————————————————————————

Meeks: why are you gay

Knox: How am i gay if i just ate your moms pussy?

—————————————————————————————————————

Todd: do you want to watch julia roberts’ new movie?

Neil: the one with george clooney? are we 40 year old wine moms? BE FUCKING FORREAL

—————————————————————————————————————

Neil: he’s so daddy

Todd: he looks like he likes a daddy

—————————————————————————————————————

Charlie: did you watch all my snapchats?

Neil: i did!

Charlie: LIAR I WAS NEXT TO YOU I SAW YOU SKIP THROUGH THEM

—————————————————————————————————————

Todd: *texting charlie* yeah and she was so confushed

Pitts: stop trying to be Neil, you will never be dyslexic bitch

—————————————————————————————————————

Pitts: oh look charlie and todd are matching!

Todd: It was an accident!

Charlie: see this is how you know Todd really is my baby girl ;)

the end

#dps fandom #dead poets society #incorrect dead poets #dps #neil perry #todd anderson

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Fluttershy kin? Part 2 (joke)

Part 1, to avoid confusion.

Zoey: (What do I say now?!)

>Tell Miu that Fluttershy would adore her.

>Sorry Miu. Himiko be spittin' facts tho.

(Zoey's thoughts)

Aughhhh! Miu, I wanted to defend you, but you can't corner me like this!

You're kind of mean, and Fluttershy wouldn't...

Wouldn't...

No, I...I can't say it. Fluttershy is clearly so special to her. I don't want to be cruel.

I hate to lie, especially about my ultimate, especially when someone corners me like this, especially when a mean girl...

you know what? Fuck it. Maybe I can say it. Miu is so mean. And I thought she was changing, but if she's going to take advantage of our friendship like this! She even laughed at me-!

...No, this is a really stupid hill to die on. I'm her friend, I don't want to hurt her feelings over something totally fictional. Besides, Himiko started this by insulting Miu's fantasy. So what if Miu says she's Fluttershy kin? She can be kin with whoever she wants!

...I kind of can't blame Himiko for her feelings though. Miu makes it hard to like her. I can get defensive of my friends, but not if they do mean things to hurt people's feelings on purpose. Miu's been nicer to me and Kazuichi, but maybe not that much to everyone else. I don't think she has? Ugh, it's hard to tell what happens to everyone else without everyone else telling me!

But Himiko...I trust her word, she's very blunt and honest and wouldn't have a reason to lie or be cruel to Miu. Miu hasn't made anything up to her. Miu should really be nicer to Himiko. So maybe Miu needs to be taught a lesson...

But is this really the best way to go about it?

...Urgh....

Stop looking at me like that, Miu. (God, she's cute.)

I...

I can't do it.

I love like her too much.

I have to tell her...

>Tell Miu that Fluttershy would adore her.

#the fluttershy-kin saga continues... #fluttershy kin saga #miu iruma #himiko yumeno #zoey parker #dr v3 #danganronpa v3 killing harmony #self ship #selfship

[zero-insignificance]

DND Recap: Mushrooms and Gods

Cast includes: Rose the DM, Patrick, Alfie (yours truly) Rayna, Quinn and Truk

We open up in the streets of Finkelberg.

Alfie is with Fluffy Scruffington having just taken Paul out of the stables.

Alfie hears a southern voice come from behind him. Alfie: Applejack? HOW DID YOU GET HERE? Applejack: I hitched a ride in that sack of yours. Alfie: Oh my gosh... Discord discord discord... Discord: Ugh what do you want? Alfie: *points at Applejack* Discord: Why should I care? Alfie: Because Fluttershy cares. Discord: Damn you knowing my heart strings *snaps fingers*

Alfie sees Bob and stops, thinking briefly before speaking.

Alfie: Are you autistic? Bob: *surprised* what- why would you think I'm autistic? Alfie: I have seen the inside of your house. You literally turned someone's house into hotdogs when your routine was disrupted. Bob: Well wouldn't you do the same? Alfie: You should ask that to someone neurotypical. Bob: You, Teeth over there *pointing to Truk* Truk: *puts a hand on his great club* What did you call me? Bob: Is there a name you would rather I call you? Truk: Truk. Bob: :o Brick: Don't even think about it. That's my son.

Alfie: Hi Brick! I hear you literally and figuratively handed Ascian's ass to him Brick: Yes I did. *pulls out Ascian's head* Would you like his head? Alfie: I don't think this is the best time for me to be parading someone's head around or caring for a head, but probably later.

Alfie turns back to Bob

Alfie: Bob have you ever considered therapy? Bob: Ther-eee-pee? What is Thereepy? Alfie: Bob you- you have a degree in psychology. You should know what therapy is. Bob: ..... Alfie: my point is that you could benefit from therapy. Bob: I don't need therapy! Alfie: Bob you were literally fighting back tears when I gave you a hug. I can tell that you're incredibly touch-starved and don't have good coping mechanisms. Bob: Does Discord seem like the most affectionate parent to you? Alfie: We'll continue talking about this later.

Patrick leaves the inn and joins us outside.

Alfie: Hey Patrick, I want to try something. Patrick: what is it? Alfie: say my name 3 times. Patrick: What's your name again? Alfie: Alfie. Patrick: Alfie Alfie Alfie. Black flames erupt around Alfie as he vanishes, and he reappears in front of Patrick in a separate burst of black flames. Alfie: :o holy shit I follow Beetlejuice rules. *starts shaking with excitement* there are so many things we can do with this- wait no. No relapsing. You're a better person than you were before. Bob: *in the background frothing at the mouth cuz he realized that he now knows Alfie's name* Azathoth from the heavens: Don't even think about it. I will fuck you up. Alfie: You can't do anything with that name. You don't even know what it stands for.

The Nap Sack rustles and out comes Quinn who is confused cuz the last time they were here we were all ponies.

"Hi Quinn!"

Alfie turns to look at Bob as a realization hits him.

Alfie: You owe me a debt. You said it. Bob: What? Alfie: You said the forbidden words. When I gave you that name you said it. A look of dread washes over Bob's face, and the rage twists his expression into a scowl. "That I did." a growl leaves his throat. "What is your demand?" "Ah ah ah. I'll be collecting on that later. You can take that look off your face. I'm no villain. At least not anymore. Just know that your debt will not result in your end."

Patrick: What happened? Quinn: Yeah, what happened? Alfie: He said t-h-a-n-k-y-o-u to me after I gave him the name of a certain person from my old world who I wasn't a big fan of. Patrick: ooooooooh... Alfie: Bob where did you say the Rum Rum cave is? Bob: *points in two different directions* that way Azathoth from the heavens: cut the shit Bob: ugh fine. It's that way. *points in one direction* Alfie: that was much appreciated, let's go! Patrick: *starts heading in the opposite direction* Alfie: Wrong way Patrick. Patrick: *turns 90 degrees and starts walking in that direction* Truk: *picks up Patrick and hauls him over his shoulder*

At some point and I don't remember how but some random townsperson says that Alfie ain't shit and that he looks weak, and he could take him in a fight. And Alfie just looks at him with those feral anime eyes and is just like "ok bet" and lunges at him, biting into his hand and starts shaking it violently like a feral dog.

Brick appears and is just like no and erases that townsperson from the mortal plane.

Bob throws down a smoke bomb and runs.

The smoke clears and Bob collapses.

"Not again."

Alfie goes to check on Bob and before he touches him Alfie asks Azathoth if he can touch Bob because of the prior threats Azathoth made against Bob.

"Yeah that's fine, he can still touch you just not for nefarious reasons."

Alfie flips Bob over and is like "Hey Bob you good?" and Bob is just zoned out muttering under his breath about Baja Blast.

"Oh dear, I think he might be having a seizure."

Bob is cold and clammy and Truk walks up to him and goes to hand him a bottle of Baja Blast and Bob lunges at it. It's like watching a blood-frenzied vampire be thrown fresh meat.

And then he just pops up like nothing happened.

"You need to go to rehab. I was an addict twice and that has to be the worst withdrawal symptoms I have ever seen."

Bob is like "I'll be fine-" and then he sees Paul.

And he panics and backs up into one of the shops in Finkelberg and stares at us in terror. And there's a slight pitter patter of feet on the roof.

There is Blake the Steak, gripping onto the rain gutters by the toes.

"HEY THERE PRETTY BOY."

And Bob lets out a shrill ear-piercing scream of pure unadulterated terror.

"As much as I want to see how this plays out, we should get going. We're burning daylight." and Alfie gives Fluffy Scruffington a peck on the cheek. "I'll see you later, Fluffy."

And we're off to find a hole in the ground. A very deep hole in the ground. That is somewhere in the fey wilds. The party partakes in small talk on their way there.

"HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME IS MARKIPLIER."

Alfie jumps and pulls out two of his daggers and enters a fighting stance. "MARK WHAT THE FUCK YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF STABBED."

"I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CAMEO. BUH BYE!"

And disappears in a cloud of pink mustaches leaving a pile of pink mustaches on the ground where he once stood.

Alfie: *pokes a mustache with the tip of his dagger* ok they're just mustaches. Rayna: Why did you only grab daggers? Do you not have a sword? Alfie: they were the closest thing to my hand at the time. Last time it was a cast iron skillet, and I broke Bob's arm. That was shortly before we met. Rose: would anyone like to try on a mustache? Rayna's player: I try on a mustache. Me: I also try on a mustache and take an extra for research purposes. Rose: You hear a voice in your head that says "HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME IS WILFORD WARFSTACHE." Patrick's player: I grab a mustache and put it on my head. Me: You hear a voice in your head that say *warfstache voice* "You are not worthy YOU TWINK." Rose: the mustache disintegrates. Patrick's player: I grab another mustache and tape it to my face. Rose: this mustache also disintegrates. Patrick: *grabs all the mustaches* Rose: the mustaches turn into a pile of ashes. Patrick: *rubs the mustache ash into his face* Who's worthy now?

Alfie decides to ask Hank what this hole looks like so he has a better idea of what we're looking for.

"Oh god he's behind me isn't he." "That's just Paul. Are- are you also afraid of cows and cow adjacent beings?" "What can I say, I've spent a lot of time with Bob. He's rubbed off on me."

Rayna questions why Alfie is talking to an orb and his sanity and Patrick clarifies that the orb can speak only to those worthy and that Hank is a bitch. Rayna is encouraged to place a hand on Hank and succeeds on the wisdom check.

Truk is intrigued and Hank recognizes who he is and devolves into a blubbering speech about how he himself is not worthy of being touched by the son of Brick as Truk slowly reaches a hand out to touch him. Hank is speaking directly into Truk's mind.

"Hank, you forgot to put your conversation on private." says Alfie and Truk erupts into boisterous laughter. "I didn't know you could laugh! Or smile."

"The hole is about 20 feet behind you. Alfie please can I go back into the sack?" "Much appreciated, Hank."

Patrick immediately goes straight for the hole and almost falls in and at the last moment Patrick shrinks to about two feet tall (changeling) and Alfie pulls him back onto land by the back of his shirt.

Alfie: Damn that's a deep hole. Patrick: LIKE YOUR MOM! OOOOOH! Rose: a Shiba Inu appears next to you and bonks you on the head. Alfie: What do you know about my mom? I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KNOW MY MOM- *takes a deep breath*

"Alright we need rope." and Alfie starts pulling a rope out of his bag of holding. It's like a never-ending handkerchief trick. He winds up pulling out 570 feet of rope.

It is not enough rope. Everyone else pulls out more rope and in the end we're about 30 feet short.

Alfie: Well, there's probably a bunch of pillows in the nap sack and we could use those as padding- Hang on. I have wings. We have the Nap Sack. WE DON'T EVEN NEED TO USE A ROPE. I can just carry us down there. EVERYBODY IN THE NAP SACK.

Patrick: *slinks into the nap sack* Rayna: *jumps into the nap sack* Truk: *hesitates* that's a mimic. Rayna: *pulls Truk into the nap sack* Alfie: *to the Nap Sack* Don't eat them. They are friends, not food. *turns to Paul* Okay buddy, you wanna stay up here or go with the party? Paul: MOO *charges into the Nap Sack*

Alfie pockets his rope and dives down into the depths.

In the nap sack the party is greeted by what can only be described as a 5-star hotel. It has 3 Olympic sized swimming pools, and an incredible gym. Mark is in the Foyer (the party member not the Youtuber/God) and he is beating the living shit out of a marble column. Patrick questions this and Mark replies simply "There is no brisket." and continues pummeling the column.

Patrick opens one of the hotel doors and sees an Alaskan King-sized bed. He stretches his limbs to take over the entire bed and melts into the sheets.

Alfie: Damn, I still can't see the bottom? Rayna: *jumps out of the Nap Sack* Alfie: RAYNA WHAT THE FUCK?! Rayna: *does a cool flip and digs a clawed hand into the side of the hole slowing her descent* are we at the bottom yet? Alfie: Do you see the bottom? Does it LOOK like we're at the bottom? NO, WE'RE NOT AT THE BOTTOM. GET BACK IN THE SACK. Rayna: *dives into the sack* Alfie: *groans* I swear, these people don't have any self-preservation skills... At least they treat me well. *continues the descent into the cavern*

A Shiba Inu appears next to Alfie parachuting down the hole. It is holding a bat and bonks Alfie on the head.

Two minutes pass and Alfie speaks into the Nap Sack

Alfie: Guys we're at the bottom. Rayna: are you sure? Alfie: I feel rock under my feet, and I can see the bottom. Rayna: *exits the nap sack* Rose: Alfie is two feet off the ground. Rayna's player: she lands on her feet. Patrick: *slinks out of the nap sack legs first like a cartoon character* Alfie: Hang on am I floating? I'm not even flapping my wings, why am i floating? Is this another eldritch power? Rose: Did i just come up with more Alfie lore? Me: Yes. Truk: *majestically emerges from the nap sack* Alfie: yep, this is definitely a cavern. Rose: a Shiba Inu bonks you on the head. Alfie: Hey! What did I do? Patrick: *takes the bat and tosses it into the cave* go fetch! Shiba Inu: *happily runs after it*

A Rum Rum emerges from the darkness and speaks to the party.

Rum Rum: You should not be here. Alfie: If we had any other choice, we would be anywhere else. We need Rum Rum spores for a spell. Rum Rum: You should leave. Rayna: hold on I'm sure we could barter, exchange some goods and services. Rose: They do not need or require material goods. Rayna: Do you want food? Alfie: I'm a good cook. Rum Rum: Living people eat dead mushrooms. Living mushrooms eat dead people. Alfie: You could've said that earlier. I have multiple dead bodies on my person. Rum Rum: You should leave. Truk's player: I take my great club and strike the mushroom in the side of the head. Rose: A cloud of spores burst out of the Rum Rum. Everybody roll a constitution saving throw.

*Everyone rolls*

Rose: You each take 8 points of poisoning damage.

Everyone takes some jars and captures some spores.

In the end we have enough to cast the portal spell 3 times.

The Rum Rums will remember this.

There is a rumble coming from deeper in the cave.

"EVERBODY GET IN THE NAP SACK"

Rayna and Patrick dive into the Nap Sack and Truk grips onto the opening of the bag hanging on for dear life as Alfie takes flight and swings his great club into the side of the cave causing a massive cave in before pulling himself into the Nap Sack.

The whole time Alfie is going "shit shit shit shit shit" as he flies to the opening of the hole.

"Okay everyone out of the Nap Sack"

Everyone exits the nap sack and Alfie and Patrick hear a familiar voice.

"What happened to you guys?"

It's the elder brain that we were supposed to kill but didn't. His name is Brian, and he is Bob's ex-lover. Brian said Bob's name out loud in public and Bob cursed him to be an elder brain.

Alfie: Yeah we may or may not have pissed of some rum rums. Also I got out of that pact with Bob. Brian: Really how did you do that? Alfie: Nepotism. Brian: *confused* Alfie: My great grandfather is his boss. Brian: Oh and you have new friends *reaches a tentacle out to Truk to shake his hand* Truk: *tightens his grip on his great club, his holy symbol glows with power preparing a divine smite* Alfie: Truk no stab. Brian: Oh! You're Brick's son! *squelches backwards* Truk: That is correct. Alfie: *has been traumatized to the point that he doesn't always register when he should be afraid* Still don't know why everyone is scared of you. Truk: I like you. Alfie: Yay!

Alfie: Okay, what's the next thing we need for the spell? Rose: shit I did not expect this to go that quickly, you guys were supposed to barter with the rum rums. Everyone else: Well, you can't say we didn't try. Truk's player: You kept saying we should leave. Rose: the next ingredient you need is Baja Blast... Me: Alfie pulls out a bottle of baja blast Rose: Fey baja blast. Me: Bob owes me a debt so no problem. Rose: Nevermind. Uhhhhh the next ingredient in the book is the heart of a god. Alfie: *smirks* I have an idea. ZEUS ZEUS ZEUS. Zeus: *appears and starts flirting with Fluffy Scruffington* Alfie: *eye twitches* Hey Bob! Bob: yes? Alfie: How would you like to kill a God? Bob: I can't kill a God tho. Me: Yeah Bob is just a fey guy with chaos magic. He may be related to a couple of Gods but he is not a God. Alfie: If you help you can have any organ you want, provided it isn't the heart. Bob: Can I have the spleen? Alfie: Of course! Now Zeus, you don't remember me? I'm hurt. Zeus: Am I supposed to? Alfie: I would imagine so considering I'm the reason you lost a hand in that tavern. Zeus: Oh. It's you. That took a long time to regenerate by the way. Alfie: For those who are wondering, we met in a tavern years ago and he wasn't taking no for an answer, so I ripped off his hand. I still have his arm as a memento. And if you keep flirting with my partner, I'll take a left arm and left leg for maximum discomfort. Zeus: The cat is your partner? Alfie: Yes- Hang on shut up. HEY BRICK! DO YOU STILL HAVE ASCIAN'S BODY?

The clouds part and down from the heavens descends the brutalized body of a beheaded Changeling God. "Thanks Brick!"

Alfie pulls out a blade and takes his time slowly dissecting Ascian's body. The way he moves shows high levels of confidence and familiarity with what he's doing.

"Zeus, do you know what I am?" "A delusional chicken?" "I'm an eldritch being." Zeus laughs at this "Oh really?" Alfie nods. "Have you ever heard of Azathoth?" Zeus freezes. Alfie glances at Zeus, a flicker of eldritch magic in his eye. "He's my great grandfather. He has a soft spot for family."

Zeus is visibly frightened and then Alfie just shouts "HOLY SHIT! He has two hearts! Guys we have two hearts! Now let's get a third one."

Zeus panics and is like no you can't kill me you have to fight uhhhh my bodyguard friend. Then we'll talk about it.

This bodyguard friend is Starscourge Rahdan.

"Everyone. Roll initiative."

Rayna decides to be the tank and Patrick and I each buff Rayna and Truk.

Truk's first attack does over 100 damage and Rahdan decides in that moment that he hates Truk. Fuck that guy. Throughout the fight everyone deals an amount of damage and Alfie pulls out his wand of fireballs and shouts to everyone take cover. He's about to fuckin NUKE Rahdan by using 6 charges all at once. At this point Zeus being the coward he is dips.

186 points of damage.

And it makes Starscourge Rahdan stronger so that's lovely.

Alfie hasn't taken any damage during the fight and notices that Patrick and Truk are not doing very good, so he chucks a Superior Healing Potion at each of them.

Rahdan enters stage two and ascends to the upper atmosphere and descends like a meteor.

Rayna and Truk attempt to work in sync to golf club him back into the atmosphere but ultimately fail.

Everyone rolls a dexterity saving throw and everyone is pulled forward towards Rahdan except for Alfie because gravity is not affecting him at all, and he easily dodges the hot rocks falling from the sky.

Alfie rockets several bouts of acid at Rahdan dealing a decent chunk of damage and Rahdan is about to strike Truk but Rayna jumps in front of him tanking the hit and is knocked 15 feet away and falls prone.

Alfie flies to check on her and helps her up and Rahdan is about to strike Truk again when Truk drops to his knees, rips of his holy symbol, clutches it in his hands and starts to pray.

A very large brick descends from the skies and strikes down Rahdan.

Rayna runs up to Rahdan and drives a hand through his chest and rips out his heart and she feels her pockets get heavier with gold.

Alfie starts laughing maniacally and calls out "Oh Zeus!" in a sing song tone.

And Zeus appears. "Oh fuck."

"You said you'd give us something if we killed your friend."

"I gave money to your fox friend."

The party slowly surrounds Zeus, and he is terrified. They are all covered in blood. Surely, he thought that killing a God such as Rahdan would've quenched their thirst but no, the party has an equal hatred for Zeus, and they want to tear him apart.

"I don't want your gold" Alfie says menacingly. "I want your heart."

A Voice booms through the party's heads

NO, NO MURDERING ZEUS.

Alfie looks dejected. "Aww why not?"

"Unfortunately, he is still needed on Olympus"

Alfie looks to Zeus. "You're safe for now. Stay the fuck away from my partner."

Truk: Can I take his weapon? Brick: Alright. Alfie: Can I also take a weapon *gives brick his please face* Brick: .... alright Alfie: *fist pumps* yes!

Alfie and Truk run up to the body and loot it.

Truk: *takes Rahdan's great sword* Me: does he have a dagger that I can use as a sword? Rose: You can take one of his teeth and turn it into a dagger.

Alfie: *dives into Rahdan's open chest cavity and comes back out tail wagging with his spleen and plops it in Bob's lap like an excited dog* I know I said that you'd get Zeus's spleen, but this is the closest thing we have to Zeus's spleen for now. *glares at Zeus*

Zeus: *looking increasingly horrified at the blood-soaked bird he has pissed off* Bob: *looks incredibly impressed* Alfie: *appears behind Zeus* hello! Zeus: *screams* Alfie: *laughs* tell Hera I say hi! Fluffy Scruffington who was watching the spectacle: *staring at Alfie* I'm going to marry that. Lu who was also watching the spectacle: *staring at Rayna* I'm marrying that.

Alfie meanwhile is harvesting organs for research purposes (he is particularly excited about the lungs) and exits through the mouth with a tooth and intends to turn it into a dagger. Rayna asks Zeus for a lightning bolt and intends to meld it with a weapon of choice. A Rum Rum emerges from the hole and immediately turns back around. "No thanks I choose life."

Zeus now fears chickens, foxes, half orcs and rainbow twinks.

Alfie shakes off the blood from his feathers and before he can say anything deep in the fey wilds someone says "Alfie Alfie Alfie!" And he vanishes in a burst of black flames.

He appears before Azathoth who says that he is very proud of Alfie for completing his quest and how well he did and ruffles his feathers.

Alfie who is currently riding the ADHD/Tism serotonin high blurts out "I took his lungs!"

"Was that for sacrificial reasons or an offering or...?"

"I wanted them, and nobody stopped me."

Azathoth makes a mental note of it and brings up Alfie's parents and questions if Alfie would like to see them again.

"Which ones are you talking about?" "Your biological parents." "I never really knew them. I lost any memories I had of them. I don't even know their voice. But it would be nice to know who they were." "If you go to Hell, you can save them. There will be creatures there that would want to stop you though. Go tell your friends about your new quest."

And then Alfie is back where he was.

Time skips to the Tavern, there is drink, food and music as the party celebrates their victory.

The song "Shut Up and Dance" plays and Alfie and Fluffy are dancing together.

Truk decides once again that he is going to break that pasta eating record and manages to slam down 20lbs of pasta. He goes to rise up and almost falters but stands tall and proud. The placard changes to show Truk as the new record holder.

Bob senses that his record has been broken and rushes to the placard. "fuck"

Rayna wants to try and break the record too but there is a size limit, and she is 8 feet tall.

Alfie questions if he is also not allowed to partake in the pasta eating contest on the account of not being a mortal and having the ability the stomach a lot of food.

Lu: Birds are not permitted to partake in the challenge. Truk: Is that racism I hear? Lu: No unfortunately birds don't react well to our pasta. The last one who tried it burst into the most horrendous hives.

Overall, the party has a fun and carefree night away from the stress and chaos they had been subjected to.

#dnd #dungeons and dumbasses #dungeons and dragons

[riverthebooknerd]

hate appreciation post. i think we should hate things more. i'll go first

things i hate:

apple peels that get stuck in your teeth

open fields

clothes with uncomfortable fabrics

the government

people who text like my sister (you don't wanna know)

pretentious fucks

money

that bookshelf that i always forget about and end up stubbing my toe on

the sonic that's close to my house but is notorious for having the shittiest service so i have to drive all the way to another city if i want sonic

anyone who's weird about cuss words. LET ME SAY FUCK.

modern interior design

the iron fist live action tv series from 2017

fluttershy