Subhadra (and Draupadi)
I am gonna be talking about what I dislike on the way this woman is treated by ppl, including shows and stuff. This is just my opinion, don't cancel me over this.
Subhadra is someone who is mostly seen as Krishna's sister, Arjun's wife and Abhimanyu's mother, mostly. She doesn't actually have her own identity when we talk about her. I have seen people downright act as if she is Draupadi's "slave", which is not fair. Subhadra is her own person, who should be seen beyond the tags of a sister, wife and mother.
But then, this specific set of people HATE it when you point out that Subhadra IS Abhimanyu's mother. She is the adult who was with him for the major part of his life, and who was responsible for his upbringing, not Arjun, not Draupadi, not Yudhishthira and definitely not Karna.
The show, Star Plus Mahabharat, did a great job in showing Subhadra as dumb. She doesn't know that it is a diagram of a war formation, she doesn't understand what her brother is saying, and she is stuck in this bubbly, naive, childish character, who is somewhat of a third wheel between Arjun and Draupadi. Now, I like Draupadi aka the CANON Draupadi, not any show's version.
See, I like Draupadi, and it is not wrong to show a relation between her and Abhimanyu, BUT, pls keep in mind that Abhimanyu has not been around these people since 14 years. How can he be this close to Draupadi (and Arjun) out of a sudden?
Abhimanyu, in the show, never mentions Subhadra, not even once. It is a pretty light thing, very minor, and it is a show with many inaccuracies, and their portrayal of Draupadi is not accurate in any sense. Didn't they show her say that she won't marry the son of a suta, an event which is clearly, not canon?
But, what has happened, is part of a "domino effect". I have read many stories, on certain other writing platforms, and there you can clearly see the effects of this type of writing.
Abhimanyu, in these stories, has no regard for his own mother. Draupadi, in these stories, is the center of the Pandava world. She only loves Arjun, Krishna and Abhimanyu, while her own sons, other husbands and brothers are disregarded by her.
Subhadra is accused of marrying Arjun, and of "stealing" Draupadi's son. These writers, who are 12-13 year old kids, with no knowledge of the actual story, try to "uplift" Draupadi as a character but end up villainizing her instead.
Honestly, one story even justified Draupadi snatching away newborn Abhimanyu from his mother. She also pays 0 attention to the Upapandavas in this story. Thankfully , it was taken down a year ago.
Subhadra is vilified for being Krishna's sister, Arjun's wife and Abhimanyu's mother, by many. That is not right. I am repeating again, that I absolutely have no problem with the canon Draupadi, but the one who is shown by some people? No, I don't like her. Because she isn't Draupadi, she is a different version of her.
Even the shows don't do Subhadra justice. BR Chopda barely gave Subhadra any screen time. Radha Krishn did the same. Suryaputra Karna did not even bother including her, as did Dharmakshetra.
And Star Plus Mahabharat? They ruined most all female characters. Most events related to Draupadi are well...fictional. Her birth, her meeting with Krishna, her meeting with Arjun, the circumstances that lead to her wedding, the villification that follows in Hastinapur, the division of Indraprasth, in the Rajasuya Yagya, many parts of the Game of dice, the incognito year, her knowing about how her sons are going to die, and because of which her subsequent reaction in the War, and in the end, Gandhari's reaction to her, are all events which can be considered fictional. This isn't how the main female Protagonist should be treated as, folks. And well, btw, when they aren't paying attention to characters like Kunti and Draupadi, why will they do anything right with Subhadra?
Subhadra's meeting with Arjun, the Kalyavan thing, Subhadra's marriage with Arjun, and her pregnancy are all botched up to the extent that now, after I have read some stuff here and there, I don't even want to watch this show.
Before writing a hate comment, pls re-read the parts where I have stated that I DON'T HATE THE OG DRAUPADI. And as far as I know, any shows portrayal of hers doesn't count as the real Draupadi. This became kind of a mix on both these women, and y'all who are my friends/have checked my other posts KNOW my opinions on Draupadi and Subhadra both. So , pls, I have a mental health too, and I am not trying to undermine any character.
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James is a patient man, he really is.
James is patient and even when he's losing it, he still tries to remain calm. And yet.
And yet, when it comes to Regulus Black, he wants to tear his own hair out. This man— James sighs.
Regulus Black is an infuriating person, honestly. He's infuriating, but James loves him whole-hearted, his chest fills and spills with his feelings for him, he cannot keep his eyes away from the Slytherin, he cannot keep his composure when he's close to him, his touch burns in the best of the ways and James— he's completely addicted.
He has no shame in admitting to himself that, yes, he's completely addicted to Regulus Black; his touch, his eyes, his voice, his violent yet careful love, his cutting words, his little insults. James loves it all.
He also has no shame in admitting that, were Regulus Black to be a God, a foreign entity stripped of any believer by the heavens for his evil gaze, his questionable words, and dubious morality, James would still kneel in his shrine before his image, faithfully worshipping the mere traces of him; his heart open and overflowing with all his honesty to be looked at apathetically by the all-known eyes of his God, waiting patiently for the way they will soften for his person, how He will be merciful and let James rise his bowed head to experience and memorise His ethereal face, His whole being.
Sometimes, he feels something similar when looking at Regulus in the corridors of the castle. Sometimes he doesn't.
Sometimes, James will stare at him from the other side of the room and see the way Regulus acknowledges him without even looking, the way his head will tilt, his lips will fight a smile and his eyes will be looking everywhere but at James, his hands tightening their grip on whatever it is he's holding, the bob of his Adam's apple when he swallows, knowing James' eyes follow the movement.
James is addicted to him, searching nonstop for everything Regulus has to give him, ready to embrace whatever he drops on his hands.
Some other times, James will still stare but Regulus won't run from his gaze. No, Regulus will lean back, his legs crossed, his hand covered in silver and emeralds holding his pretty face, staring back at James— no, staring him down–, his grey eyes full of truths James has yet to discover, the curve of his plump pink lips tilting up, a smirk he saves just for James, while his eyebrows rise minutely in a question James has yet to be able to answer.
Sometimes, Regulus will feel like that foreign God, every surface he sits upon like a throne for him to take with bloody hands yet no sword in sight, his grey eyes a rainbow of uncovered secrets while his mouth tells him carefully constructed lullabies, taking James away from the horrors of Regulus' own creation while still submitting him to his undivided attention.
James feels loved every time he falls prey to those grey waves, pulling himself back from trying to swim away, willing to drown in that furious and violent ocean, to drink that sweet honey of his easily whispered lies.
James feels no shame in feeling for him like that, drowning in the burning hot waves of desire and longing of his own heart, colouring the sky of his love Regulus' favourite shade, ready to rain black at any time.
And James is patient, devoted, and willing.
He's patiently waiting for Regulus, devotedly feeling all that there is to be felt for him, willing to let him choose the when or the if, willing to just watch him from afar, kneeling in his shrine while coveting his immoral gaze to himself, and himself alone.
And yet, sometimes, he wants to fight this mighty God, wants to rise his head before given permission and stare Him down, instead. James wants to reach out and touch him, hold his beautiful face in his hand, hold his throat in an empty threat, desperate to be accepted by him, to be touched back, threatened back.
James wants nothing more than to be his and take him for himself. The gaping hole in his chest gets bigger every time they have to part ways, to look elsewhere as if they're not supposed to be. James doubts they aren't.
How couldn't they be meant to be? With this desperate need James has for him, his thirst growing nonstop for Regulus' love, his hunger making him the weakest of the men, only to be strong again in his presence, dangerously getting tricked every day by a crumble of what they could be yet are not.
And James has realised a long time ago, Regulus knows it, too. He may not be aware of how deep James' feelings go, but he knows they exist, his smirk towards James is all-knowing. Regulus knows, yet hasn't done much but feed James crumbs of him, letting him have glimpses of the inside of the palace of his being.
James is waiting, satisfying himself with the glimpses and crumbs of them, giving him the space to come himself, to choose them.
Oh, but how James feels like fighting God, sometimes.
James wants to invade his space, get up from his kneeling place at his feet, and make him see that he should come to James himself, that he should tread carefully himself; after all, James, too, is a horrifying monster of Regulus' creation.
Regulus has created this hungry, craving beast, unwilling to feed it more than crumbs. Regulus has taught this monster of his that he should take things for himself, no matter what third parties think of it, as long as it satisfies the desires he has deep in his soul.
James wants to make him proud, always.
He wants to hold his waist and put a knife to his throat; he wants to lean his body against Regulus and look into his mercury eyes while his teeth break his skin, Regulus' bittersweet blood spilling on his tongue.
James wants to burn down his shrine and build a better one in his heart, take Regulus there, and show him how he could be home, how he could worship him better than anyone else, and how he could love him for as long as he allows.
James wants Regulus for himself, even if the result of that is his body laid deep in the graveyard, the flowers on his tomb withering, his only company being the Regulus star and not the God Himself. James honestly cares not for it, as long as he gets to dig his own grave, he will gladly lay on it after Regulus is through with him.
James demands to dig his own grave.
Let Regulus throw him in it, afterwards.
It's worth it.
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