this might not be canon, but personally i need furina to struggle a whole lot longer and harder with post-prophecy depression and mental illness. She's played the same tiring and painful act for five centuries, was constantly in a life or death scenario and had to hide her true self from the world the entire time and she won't just recover in a few years from that.
There's parts of her that will never ever be compatible with a simple human lifestyle, and parts of her that are irreparably broken. She isn't sure of her personality after everything that happened and the lie she had to live. She slips between personas and her archon temperament comes through like a defensive mechanism at any sign of conflict or trouble.
She's plagued by nightmares. Of the flood, of the trial, of the people closest to her conspiring against her behind her back, and of being found out in a million terrible ways. Of saying the wrong thing, making a wrong decision. Of being found out, of being found out, of being found out.
Lying or keeping a secret feels existential still. Being honest still feels life threatening sometimes. Putting herself first feels like putting both hands on a hot stove.
She doesn't live in the palais anymore, doesn't have to sit through trials anymore, but her heart and soul are still there. In her dreams she's still at the place she spent her entire life's memories at.
Yes, she can make new memories, but it'll take time. More time than she has, maybe, now that she's the closest to being human she'll ever be.
She'll never be human in the way the people around her are.
What sort of human has 500 years worth of memories after all? What human tells personal anecdotes and mixes up their centuries?
What sort of human can feel the absence of their divinity like it's a physical thing? A voice that will never speak to her again, or keep her alive? What human has no family, no childhood?
What human remembers so little, but still remembers death somewhere deep within?
She jerks out of sleep from it sometimes, gasping for air, and spends the rest of the night awake, almost frozen by fear. The flood is over, but it's hard to convince her racing heart that the danger is too.
Humans have entire family trees that go generations back, but Furina was put into this world a solitary creature, her blood heavy with sin ever since she turned human.
She owns a hydro vision now and doesn't know how to yield it, but the ocean still calls out to her some days. Sea creatures flock to her like they can smell she's not human enough.
She learns how to make little hydro companions for herself, so the darkness and emptiness of her apartment feels less ominous when she lies awake at night.
She can't turn her vision into a weapon quite yet, but when it rains the droplets seem to cling to her. She's watched them roll upwards along her arm, watched them gather in her palm like kin. She wonders if sea creatures flock to neuvillette in a similar way, or if his immense power makes them recoil. She wonders if elemental dragons can feel regret. Wonders if he, too, ever feels entirely foreign in that human body he was given. If he, too, lies awake trying to grasp faint memories of a past life.
She's extremely human in the way she's plagued by body pains from not being able to relax just one day in five centuries. The years catch up with her once she gets out of survival mode, and fatigue is a constant companion now. Sleep comes difficultly and getting out of bed was easier when the fate of a whole nation depended on it. On her. She's never lived for just herself before and some days she's not sure she wants to.
She did her duty and earned her retirement and the story turned out well, all things considered. She still has people by her side, some of them.
Still, she feels raw and tired and overwhelmed by the life lying ahead of her. As a human and as someone who will always be Something Else.
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idk if anyone else has said it yet, but i’m feeling bitter right now, so i will (also it’s just always bothered me)
has anyone else ever noticed the difference in fan opinions between Michael and Vanessa?
in many ways, they are VERY similar characters.
they’re both night guards, have been fucked over by William, killed kids, and barely actually show up in the games.
however, Michael is treated like a goddamn king by the fandom, while Vanessa barely gets scraps. she’s regarded as a bitch so often, is hated on constantly, and/or is sometimes flat out ignored or erased from stories entirely.
oh no! a woman is grumpy! she MUST be a bitch!
Vanessa isn’t a bitch. she’s an underpaid security guard that has her entire career on the line throughout the whole game. there’s a loose child in the Pizzaplex. she’s literally trying to do her damn job so she won’t get fired.
more than that, Vanessa is clearly under a severe amount of psychological stress. she’s being mind controlled by a serial child killer to murder people. you’re telling me you also wouldn’t be in a constant bad mood if that was your life?? and even if you don’t think Vanessa is Vanny, Vanessa STILL has mental health issues. that much is proven by the therapy tapes (i think it’s canon that she has depression and anxiety? and maybe PTSD? i can’t remember; it’s been awhile since i was hyperfixated on this game). god forbid a person, a woman no less, shows the negative aspects of their mental illness!
like, depression, anxiety, AND PTSD all cause irritability and anger issues. anxiety literally triggers your fight or flight, and not everyone automatically cowers into their flight instinct. PTSD has a little something called “hyperarousal,” which is a constant state of anger.
but okay, mental health issues can’t be used as an excuse for things, alright. it’s still late at night. people get irritable and cranky the more they stay up. lack of sleep causes aggression.
but really, none of that matters because Vanessa is justified in her grouchiness through the entire game since, again, she’s doing her job.
and it’s not even like she says or does anything that bad! i’ve seen people treat her like she’s some kind of monster, and for what? because she made a hollow threat about scrapping Freddy?? it was, like, two in the morning, people! people say things they don’t mean when they’re 1) tired and 2) emotional. and we all know she doesn’t have the authority to do that, so she wouldn’t actually go through with it.
also need i remind everyone that Vanessa is treated poorly by her OWN CREATOR?? she’s grossly sexualized. we all know what the Vanny suit looks like. it’s skintight. it’s very obviously designed in a way to highlight ALL her curves. Scott did that on purpose. and like,,, why?? she’s a murder bunny. why does she have to be “attractive”?
don’t get me wrong, i like the design for Vanny, i just hate the suit. i love the idea of her looking all patchwork, like Vanessa tore apart different articles of clothing to make the costume because she couldn’t get enough fur, so she could have been this big mess of thick white fur with splashes of a bunch of random materials in between the pelt. that could have easily shown how, like, “unpracticed” she is. it’s a shoddy suit made by someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing.
but NOOOO, Scott had to go, “how can i show that she’s a woman who has boobs?!?!??!? how can i bring her boobs into this?!?!?! what about her boobs?!?!?! we can’t forget about her boobs!!!!”
like, dude, we know she has boobs. she’s a killer bunny, not a playboy bunny. let’s not blur the lines, Scott.
you know, it’s really saying something when the plush of a character is less sexualized than the design itself. i own a Vanny plush (it look, like, three months for her to ship), and she looks great! she’s super cute! but, GOD, the DUALITY between her and the actual Vanny is GLARING.
but also, this isn’t anything new. most of Scott’s female characters get the treatment of being sexualized.
it’s just so goddamn frustrating to see male characters get held up on a higher pedestal than female characters. this is an issue in most fandoms. the women are treated like shit. and it’s infuriating.
just— if Vanessa were a guy, people would NOT treat her the way they do. and if she were a man, Vanny’s suit would have been less sexualized and more like an actual animal suit.
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