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#fic: for you i'd burn the length and breadth of sky
yumi-michiyo · 2 years
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hey, i just wanted to come here and say how much i love all of your faberry fanfics (For You I'd Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky hold a very special place in my heart) and i admire your writing and think you’re criminally underrated. i saw on a ficrec a fanfic called the duty of lovers (is to tarnish the golden rule) that i can’t open because you’ve closed it for registered users only, is there other way of reading it? and is there more fics that’s are closed like that? thank you very much
EDIT: Tumblr seems to have eaten my reply to this ask, gdi.
First up, thank you for reading and enjoying my fics nonny! I have opened The Duty of Lovers to everyone so you should be able to read it now.
I'd originally locked it because I was pretentious AF and wanted people to read my serious fic rather than the, uhm, silly pr0n. Fixed now
And nope, no other fics got locked the same way because as time passed, I got less pretentious and just started writing whatever the frick I wanted.
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poetzproblem · 2 years
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Hi Poetz. I hope you're having a good days!! I read this fic some time ago and can´t remember who belong to, i was hoping you or one of your followers could help me find it. It goes something like this: Rachel got married to Jesse St. James in New York and Quinn is a writer or something, they star having an affair in a hotel room, than Rachel divorced Jesse and she try to have something with Quinn but she goes to some island…(I think is Saint Helene)… I cant remeber much of it, i just know that it was so well writting. Thank you and i hope you have a good Halloween.
So the only fic that's coming to mind with Rachel on an island and divorced from Jesse is For You I'd Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky by yumi_michiyo, but while she and Quinn had been in a relationship in that fic, I don't think it was an affair and we don't even see most of the relationship. In fact, most of that fic isn't even strictly Faberry, since Rachel gets granted three wishes by the devil to show her three lives she could have led with/without Quinn.
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ashintheairlikesnow · 5 years
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inside the labyrinth walls there lies a tiny child who sleeps alone and as the daylight falls the wind becomes so wild across the stone for I have made her prison be her every step away from me and this child I would destroy if you tried to set her free so come to me my love I'll tap into your strength and drain it dry can never have enough for you I'd burn the length and breadth of sky for it's my thoughts that bind me here it's this love that I most fear and this child I would destroy for I hold her pain most dear no haven for this heart no shelter for this child in mazes lost heaven keep us apart a curse for every mile of ocean crossed for I must die for what I've done a twist of fate a desert sun for I see what I destroy sweet reflection knife into me for I see what I destroy I can see what I've begun
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thorniest-rose · 3 years
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have you heard my medea by vienna teng? it kind of works for silverusso in kk3 though daniel's not a child and maybe for silverusso in your story a sharp kiss to the throat. i also think of it when you speak about daniel wandering the halls of a gothic mansion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv70m2Og-as
Inside the labyrinth walls There lies a tiny child who sleeps alone And as the daylight falls The wind becomes so wild across the stone — For I have made her prison be Her every step away from me And this child I would destroy If you tried to set her free — So, come to me, my love I'll tap into your strength and drain it dry Can never have enough For you I'd burn the length and breadth of sky — For it's my thoughts that bind me here It's this love that I most fear And this child I would destroy For I hold her pain most dear
Ohhh thank you so much for the song rec!! It really has a fairytale quality to it, which I love. Both my silverusso fics (a sharp kiss to the throat and my upcoming untitled fic) have fairytale elements, so I love having as much inspiration as possible! I've been listening to a lot of Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos recently, which is one of my favourite albums, and some of the songs have this really enchanting but melancholy fairytale feel to them, like a young woman who’s looking back on the innocence of her childhood and how it was taken from her.
Her song Girl in particular makes me think of Daniel, and how selfless he is in the KK movies. I really believe that he’s always so busy trying to make other people happy (as someone with low self-esteem he craves validation) that he sacrifices his own happiness and sense of identity to do it.
And the bit about “I’m not 17, but I’ve got cuts on my knees” feels very CK Daniel to me. Like he’s pretending not to be that scrappy little Jersey kid anymore, but on the inside he is! He might wear those suits and hide himself away in his perfect house, but strip it away and you’ll find the same bruised apple of a boy he was all those years ago, licking his wounds because he’s never taken the time to properly heal. 
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yumi-michiyo · 7 years
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For You I’d Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky [Epilogue] author’s notes
My god this is late I'm sorry.
The story was originally supposed to end with Rachel's voicemail (in which it was hinted that Quinn was there, but she didn't want to pick up the phone until Rachel was done talking) and letting the reader draw their own conclusions how the story ended.
Along the way, things changed.
Everything changed when Rachel ended up with Santana for the third night. Because there were a lot of internal issues Rachel was dealing with, and the revelation of the whole 'real life' versus the 'fantasy wish' where lines were being seriously blurred, there needed to be a concrete epilogue for the 'real world' in which Rachel finally talks with 'her' Quinn.
The rest of the fic has interjections from the 'real world', and teasers on what happened between Rachel and Quinn that brought a broken Rachel to Mustique in the first place. As much as possible, I've tried to piece everything together as neatly as possible but there might be some continuity issues that I've missed; I apologise in advance.
The first half of the epilogue is just background; Rachel and her 'real world' friendships. We see that she's the flawed narrator, that she's (in a way) the 'villain' of the story as a whole. She was the one who broke Quinn's heart and then ran off to lick her wounds. I tried to keep her friendships as canon as possible, so we have the token gays and token lesbians being close friends I'm so bitter and salty re: Glee canon I'm sorry.
The second half is the long-awaited confrontation between Rachel and Quinn. This was originally a grand set-up in which everyone joins in to get Quinn out for dinner with Rachel (my headcanon is that Blaine and Quinn are really good friends) but approximately 5k+ words in, it didn't work. Quinn isn't going to sit through a long dinner with someone who she broke up with, and she certainly as hell isn't going to talk about their relationship somewhere so public like a restaurant, so... Rachel the stalker XD
And of course... Rachel has to talk to Quinn about the wishes. I realise I've suspended your disbelief with how Quinn takes everything in her stride, but... frankly? This Quinn is head-over-heels in love with Rachel, and a part of her can listen to Rachel being absolutely, completely sincere.
If you ask me though, Quinn shouldn't have taken Rachel back that easily XD Rachel is selfish, yes, but running off without warning and then cornering your ex-girlfriend in her home isn't exactly her Mother Teresa moment. IDK, honestly. I'm the writer, but this fic got away from me quite a long time ago.
Hope you enjoyed this wild ride of a fic.
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yumi-michiyo · 7 years
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For You I’d Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky [4/4] - with extended author’s notes
Rating: M for strong language, adult themes, sexual content
Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Romance/Angst/Family/Tragedy/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort/"Romance"
Pairings: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Santana Lopez, mentioned Santana/Lopez/Finn Hudson, Brittany Pierce/Finn Hudson, mentioned Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James, Rachel Berry/Cassandra July, Rachel Berry/Brody Weston
Summary: She already knows Quinn Fabray is more than just a pretty face; she just didn't know it would take a few lifetimes to find out how much more. Post-canon, AU divergence. A oneshot of epic proportions.
Links: FF.net | AO3
On the writing process:
Have I bitten off more than I can chew?
This was a thought that crossed my mind repeatedly as I worked on this chapter. The plot was labyrinthine, the characters' motivations were all over the place, the timelines clashed, the dialogue was confusing. I keep a writing notebook in which I jot down prompts, ideas, plot threads etc., and this was one of the rare times that it didn't help.
I think one of the reasons for the difficulty was that unlike the first two chapters, 85% of the content wasn't planned. The characters (especially Santana) didn't want to cooperate. I only had an idea of what I wanted the endgame to be, and I spent time trying to herd the characters in that direction.
I have always been a multishipper/non-canon shipper at heart, and this was no exception though it does seem I've gone overboard with the sheer number of pairings squeezed into one fic. This chapter, in particular with the Santana/Rachel, drew a lot of inspiration from the incomparable you're just another song and dance by acid_glue234, in terms of the structure and the girls' interactions. This fanfic, out of all the fanfics in my history of fandoms, came the closest to switching my OTP.
There has been a lot of hints and clues about the setting in Rachel's real life scattered through the entire fic. While readers may enjoy picking through the fic to gather them, everything will be made clear in the epilogue.
The original draft of the story had the entire thing ending with Rachel leaving the voicemail, Quinn picking up almost immediately after, Rachel answering, and... fade to black. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not that I decided that since the entire thing had changed so radically, it wouldn't make sense not to add an epilogue.
I love Easter eggs, and sprinkling subtle references to other works of mine. Besides the obvious recycling of names from my headcanons, there are minute details that come from my other fics. They aren't relevant to any plot twists or big reveals; they're just there for my own entertainment as I go through the long, painful process of editing.
After completing this fic (including the epilogue and the letter written by wheelchair!Quinn), I have one more fic in the works before I officially retire from writing Glee fanfic. Honestly, I've covered all the pairings I like and plenty of Faberry tropes in one story: post-accident, future!fic, college friendships, friends turned lovers, post-canon, unrequited...
On Rachel Berry:
Rachel is, in a word, tired. She's gone through a whole lot of living (spoiler: it'll come back to haunt her back in her real life). She's been in relationships with a whole lot of people, done a lot of things without really feeling the consequences, and for the first time, is feeling stuck. I wrote her as being displaced; she hasn't really let her first two 'deaths' sink in.
This iteration of Rachel is less involved in keeping up appearances than the previous two; the first Rachel was genuinely happy to explore the what if's left by Finn's death. The second was a little more cautious, threw everything into a relationship with Quinn, and was broken by it. In this chapter, Rachel does realise that she's not as concerned about 'playing her part' as the previous times. As a result, she's more reckless, impulsive, and callous; notably in her promiscuity and the cold way she treats Puck.
The feel of this chapter is more of Rachel applying meta thought to her 'life', as opposed to 'living'. She is more detached from her surroundings, especially when things get complicated with Santana. I wrote Rachel with the idea of 'introspection' in mind; the time spent living life all over again has given her plenty of time to reflect on the things that have gone wrong in her real life, and we see that she's starting to change.
Rachel doesn't pursue Santana, like she does Finn and Quinn. She only falls for her after a period of soul-searching, and only after giving herself permission to fall. In other words, she makes a conscious decision to love Santana after clearing her conscience (is Quinn real, or 'real real'? Who knows?).
On Noah Puckerman:
Noah Puckerman has never been one of my favourite characters on Glee - I'm one of those people who think that his impregnating Quinn is equal to rape, the bad boy archetype isn't a favourite of mine, and the rest of his antics aren't particularly impressive (not to mention he's one of the victims of the show's writing). My Noah (and the fandom's Noah) is a simple guy who's rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.
Noah's also gotten the short end of the stick in this chapter. Since the story's told from Rachel's point of view, and she's pretty distant and preoccupied with her own problems (and Quinn), little is known about Noah's feelings. I write him as someone who's in love with Rachel despite her many shortcomings and is unfailingly loyal, despite her ignoring him, and the Season Four!Finn stunt she pulls on him.
On Santana Lopez:
Santana, in my opinion, is one of the great success stories of Glee. She goes from Quinn's backup singer/dancer and henchwoman to one of the main characters (rewatching the show reminded me of how much I hate canon!Rachel). I have always loved the strong woman with a vulnerable side trope, and no one embodies the character type better than Santana (and Naya).
Rachel does note that this Santana is softer around the edges than canon!Santana. It's mentioned in the fic that without Quinn, Santana is the unchallenged queen bee of McKinley, and is more secure in her identity and accepting that she is lesbian. For that reason, she doesn't victimise Rachel, or see the need to reinforce the strict social hierarchy.
Another cornerstone of the fic is the friendship between Kurt, Santana, and Rachel AKA two-and-a-half-gays. There was little opportunity to explore the daily, snarky interaction between the trio in the previous two chapters, so I think I might have gone a bit overboard with that. I do love writing snarky dialogue.
I headcanon Santana as being one of those people Nat King Cole sang about:
When I fall in love, it will be forever...
Another of my favourite tropes are people who fall in love without even realising it, and that's pretty much what happens on Santana's part.She doesn't start to move on from Brittany until she sees how happy Brittany is with someone else, and even then it takes a while before she starts to see Rachel in another light.
Santana, like Quinn, is one of those unfortunate people shafted in the hurriedly-cobbled-together ending of Glee. We don't know what she ends up doing with her life. We have no clue what are her likes and dislikes, or her aptitude and quirks. Based on the scant information we're given, I headcanon Santana to be involved in music production and/or songwriting, otherwise a television actress. In this chapter, I stole Sara Bareilles' excellent song Morningside for Santana. Sadly, there is no awesome slow and sexy acoustic version to link to, but I think it would sound amazing.
On Brittany Pierce:
I'll admit the sole Finn/Brittany fic that I have read and loved is thememoriesfire's duck sauce, meet bear cheese. It not only sold me on this pairing as something not cracky, but also showed a realistic portrayal of how these two would interact.
Generally, I don't write Brittany because I'm not sure I understand her, and thus can do her character justice. But Brittany was crucial to the plot, to help Santana open herself to falling for other people, to provide the catalyst to get Rachel and Santana talking again, and to help Rachel make her decision to fall for Santana.
There are several versions of Brittany in fanon, and this is one of the versions I enjoy best; the one who lives on a slightly different plane of reality that only intersects with the one everyone else lives in.
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yumi-michiyo · 7 years
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For You I’d Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky [1+2/4] - with extended author’s notes
Rating: M for strong language, adult themes, implied infidelity, and other naughty things
Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Romance/Angst/Family/I don't even know man, how do you neatly categorise this
Pairings: intended Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Quinn Fabray/Noah Puckerman
Summary: She already knows Quinn Fabray is more than just a pretty face; she just didn't know it would take a few lifetimes to find out how much more. Post-canon, AU divergence. A oneshot of epic proportions.
Links: FF.net|AO3
When I first came up with the concept, I thought it was dead in the water. Wishes? Alternate lives? A deal with the devil? I don't really write fics that aren't grounded in realism, after all.
Until I realised that this was basically an excuse to write 3 very different AU stories where the girls don't have their happy ending, and still connect them into a fic where they could. Things... kind of took off from there.
Writing started in late October 2016 after I'd written and posted my earlier Glee fics, but stalled because I had much less time for fandom thanks to RL. I do most of my writing in front of my laptop, but work forced me to turn to mobile to get the important plot points down - because, god, the juicy bits and snippets always come to you at the most inconvenient times. And the progress went from there.
The Man Who Shall Not Be Named is the devil, certainly. His appearance is modelled after Hans from Frozen because I'm from that fandom before I started having big Glee ideas, and I do love my manipulative!Hans. Though it's not immediately apparent what real!Rachel is going through, it will be revealed in pieces as the story goes on.
As mentioned in the notes, Mustique is a real place, and Rachel's hotel is supposed to be The Cotton House, though it's never explicitly stated. When the plot outline called for Rachel to run away from her problems which is normally such a Quinn thing to do, this setting immediately came to mind.
On Rachel Berry:
Canon!Rachel has always struck me as 'the most successful failure'. She's gotten almosteverything she's wanted, because it's very basic; the leading role on Broadway, Tony in hand, leading man at her side. Ryan Murphy's complete ineptness at character development aside, her ending doesn't seem as anything more than something hastily shoved at her to wrap up an already-dying show (I attempted to make sense of this elsewhere). This is another of my attempts, in a nutshell, to resolve this.
I find it hard to believe Lea Michele when she insists she's more than Rachel Berry, because she is Rachel; the role was written for her, Ryan wrote parts of Lea's life into Rachel's. I felt it fitting, then, to make jabs at Lea's life through Rachel's; though if Lea does have a more fulfilling private life that's quite different from the vacuous social media updates, I'm happy for her.
Most of my fics are written from Rachel's POV partly because she was the protagonist of Glee, and thus the one that the audience spent the most time with, and mostly because she fits the story ideas I have.
Arguably, my forte is at writing people who want each other while being married to others. I think I haven't wielded this awesome force in this fandom yet.
On Finn Hudson:
I don't hate Finn, like many Faberry shippers tend to do. Finn is just a sweet, small-town guy (strictly talking Finn, not Cory) but he's not going to push Rachel to greater heights. He'll always be the one who's quietly there for her, as Rachel says in the show, but he doesn't challenge Rachel. He has a tough time in this fic trying to deal with this (they both do) but he comes through, in typical Finn Hudson hardiness.
On Quinn Fabray:
I operate on the headcanon that Quinn is a closeted unicorn who is a confused and conflicted baby gay over Rachel - the first person to challenge her beliefs, everything she's been told to take for granted. Since we never get to see how Quinn develops from there, I am more than happy to write endless fic about how Quinn deals with her gayness. But if Rachel is the one to make Quinn question herself, what if Rachel isn't the one Quinn could fall in love with?
On Noah Puckerman:
I have always had a soft spot for Puck (I don't agree with Mark Salling, but he's not Puck). He could have had more character development, but again canon is all over the place; so I imagine him to be a genuinely caring guy even if he thinks with his lower head more often than not.
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yumi-michiyo · 7 years
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For You I’d Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky [3/4] - with extended author’s notes
Rating: M for strong language, adult themes, sexual content, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, trigger warnings for depression and suicide
Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Romance/Angst/Family/Tragedy/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort
Pairings: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, some Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Cassandra July, background other canon pairings
Summary: She already knows Quinn Fabray is more than just a pretty face; she just didn't know it would take a few lifetimes to find out how much more. Post-canon, AU divergence. A oneshot of epic proportions.
Links: FF.net | AO3
On the writing process:
The original draft written on the go was a little over 10k words. I had an entire week of free time, thanks to a nasty viral infection, and decided it wouldn't do. There was still a lot that needed to be reworked, rewritten, edited, rearranged... it was hard, because of the sensitive nature of this chapter. A large bulk of this was written while listening to Lea Michele's album Louder on repeat which seemed appropriate, and inadvertently shaped the nature of Rachel's tribute to Quinn's memory.
I don't profess to know much about life for wheelchair-bound people, and was blessed to know as much as I do thanks to the help of a wheelchair-using beta-reader for one of my Frozen fics. As much as possible, I've tried to stay true to facts.
For those asking why Quinn had to take her own life, all the puzzle pieces are there. Like Rachel, there are many people out there hurting because their loved ones chose to go despite knowing how many hearts they would be breaking. I chose to go with this darker outcome both to express the pain of loss, and let Rachel's darkest fear play out: What if Quinn died and it was all my fault?
But despite losing Quinn, Rachel doesn't completely go to pieces, nor does she bounce back with typical Rachel Berry vigor. She's completely shattered, of course as was Lea Michele after Cory's death but she manages to move on, with the help of her friends and an unexpected new relationship.
I'm pretty sure there are haters out there because I've destroyed the OTP again, but yeah. I like hurting the characters I love.
Also, while I'm guilty of making horrible things happen to characters, this is easily one of the hardest things to write; partly because suicide is such a serious subject, but mostly because the message needed to be delivered. And delivered it is, although I suspect that this story will stay with me for life.
On Rachel Berry:
Rachel is slightly stronger here. She's spent a lifetime living a dream, and she's back to square one under circumstances she only dreamt of before. Of course, she both knows and doesn't know what she should be doing; in terms of things she knows, events that happen, she knows what to anticipate. In terms of Quinn, she's been given a chance to go back and make things right again, but with the goal of being with Quinn. It's successful, in a way, but it doesn't work out because this iteration of Quinn comes with scars that Rachel - even with a lifetime of experience - has no clue how to deal with.
In a sense, Rachel also isn't as affected as she could be. She's lost the love of her life under the worst possible circumstances, but she also knows that she'll wake up in a world where Quinn is alive and well, and the wheelchair was a bad memory.
On Quinn Fabray:
Quinn Fabray is defined by control. She took control of herself and decided that Lucy Fabray was an undesirable personality. She overcame a teenage pregnancy, homelessness, falling off the rails, and Sue Sylvester. But being stuck in a wheelchair is the ultimate loss of control, that is permanent. In this chapter, this Quinn can't handle the dependence on Rachel that her disability places her in.
Arguably, Quinn would never consider suicide. But she already has issues with self-esteem and insecurity, which were made worse by her inadequacy and negative fallout of being with Rachel, all of which I turn into this bad ending. It's not what I want for Quinn. It's not even remotely where I think Quinn will end up. This is just the most depressing, pessimistic outcome for someone with as much trauma as canon!Quinn.
The album Rachel writes about Quinn is supposed to symbolise transformation and transcendence. By taking back Quinn's story into their own hands, Rachel brings the situation under control again Elly's cameo is just a mark of how far Rachel's come.
I do have Quinn's letter written in full, because the original tribute was supposed to be a musical/play, and I had planned a scene that Judy and Rachel talk about in the cafe. Maybe I'll post it, someday.
On Cassandra July:
I'll be the first to admit that I enjoy both alternate pairings, canon and non-canon, and am a happy denizen of rarepair hell. Rachel and Cassie have a ton of sexual tension, thanks to the smouldering efforts of Lea and Kate, and it was fun writing this development. I see Cassie as the jaded, bitter version of who Quinn could have become she'd never bounced back from her punk phase; still challenging Rachel, still forcing her to come to terms with parts of herself that isn't in line with her ideas. So, it made sense to have Cassie as the catalyst to help Rachel move on.
On Santana Lopez:
Santana wasn't a main character in the previous chapter, but her friendship with Rachel is one of the side focuses here. Canon!Rachel and canon!Santana developed a heartening friendship in spite of the actresses hating each other that I imagine Rachel would come to appreciate. After drifting apart from Santana in the previous wish, it makes sense that Rachel would miss her friend.
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yumi-michiyo · 7 years
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For You I’d Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky [The Letter] author’s notes
Notes under the cut to prevent spoilers.
So I kinda copped out by not including any bits of Quinn's envelope (while it's called a letter to make things short, it's really more of a collection of papers written by Quinn) and yet making it such an important part of the story.
I'd like to clarify that I'm not suicidal and I clearly have not committed suicide (duh). But I have struggled with severe depression on and off for the last 10 years, and I tapped on that to get into Quinn's headspace and write something that sounds as authentic as possible.
Some reviewers have asked how I managed to write the second night. I can admit that, cold-blooded as it seems, I wrote it on my daily commute, and whenever I could find a few minutes to whip out my phone and tap away. Most of the editing is done on the computer afterwards. But for this bonus chapter, I had to take it seriously. For the week leading up to my scheduled writing session, I reread all my favourite angst/character death/tragedy/dramatic romance fanfics, from a variety of fandoms. Then I waited until midnight to sit in a darkened room with my laptop to write everything in a single sitting. No editing was done apart from the bare minimum to grammar, spelling etc., before it was posted.
The result is something that rambles, something that is melodramatic and over-the-top in parts, darkly depressing in others, and is as close to a clinically depressed, paraplegic woman who is a talented writer.
PS. if you're wondering how everything came to be stuffed in the envelope, Quinn wrote her suicide note in her notebook, remembered she had a whole bunch of other things she'd been writing as well, and decided to stuff them all inside as well. She changed her mind in the end, and put the envelope in her drawer.
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yumi-michiyo · 4 years
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My definite favorite fic of yours is For You I'd Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky  No doubt
Awww thank you!
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yumi-michiyo · 6 years
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I'd Brave Your Ocean (To Bring You Home) [1/1] - extended author’s notes and meta
Rating: T for references to character death and some ribald humour
Genre: Slice of Life/Angst/Friendship/Humour/Hurt/Comfort/Fluff
Pairings: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, past Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray friendship, Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez friendship, Quinn Fabray/Kurt Hummel friendship, Bushwick loft dwellers friendship, all the friendships okay
Summary: Quinn, Rachel, and the constant in their changing relationship. Oneshot. Faberry. Warning for referenced canon major character death.
Links: FF.net | AO3
On the origins:
Every time I write something, I end up with a Google doc filled with scraps and bits that were culled from the fic. While writing that massive fic For You I'd Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky, one of the most significant passages cut consisted of a scene where Rachel and Quinn cook together. I loved it, and was heartbroken when it no longer fit into the fic.
Food, to me, is a very important part of fic. Quinn seems like the sort of person to have a difficult relationship with food, as does Rachel (whose veganism is usually played for laughs). Cooking together is one of those bonding activities that are very, very underrated.
When I started writing a fic to house my beloved snippet, I needed something to justify them cooking together. What came to mind was Finn's death. The grieving process has been a very big part of my life of late because a close friend of mine took her own life last September. We had been friends for over 15 years, and it was a shock for me to know that she'd struggled with so many personal demons.
Now, I'd written about suicide and dealing with suicide before. But this was the first time I was writing about the coping process in such detail, and paralleling my own real experiences. It was an extremely cathartic process; one that was also a transition for me back into writing after having stopped for so long.
On the writing process:
After my friend passed, I stopped writing for a few months. I've only really been back since this year. The only reason I've managed another 20k+ words in such a short time was because I had an important story to tell, one that I've been living for the past 4 months.
On Quinn Fabray:
After a break, it was the natural choice to write something from Quinn's POV again. I'm hopelessly in love with emotionally constipated!Quinn (frankly, the only way to read her based on canon) and the process in which she unravels her issues.
This was also an excuse for me to write another beloved trope of mine: friends into lovers. Another reason why I ship this pair: the only way these two can get into a relationship is if they read into their friendship as a front for deeper feelings (and are willing to explore those feelings, LOL).
On Rachel Berry:
Rachel isn't as hateable or as unreasonable as in quite a few of my other fics. She's in this vulnerable place where she's lost someone whom she thought she could always depend on, and Quinn's stepped in to fill that emotional support position (despite her own issues).
On Santana Lopez:
Santana is Santana. She gets the best lines even in a fic in which she isn't the main character. Mostly, she takes a backseat to act as a foil for Rachel and/or Quinn interchangeably, keeping things real.
On Kurt Hummel:
Kurt is even less of a foil in this one, though he gets the spotlight for a brief moment when his friendship with Quinn takes centre stage. However, his main role in this fic is forming the Bushwick Loft Gang as I headcanon his grief to be more private than in canon, and that he takes a lot of time on his own to work through it.
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