#feeling very floaty about it right now. years of work.

[outeremissary]

Gripped by an intense terror that my computer may have decided to die forever before I could rescue my writing

#I'm honestly so fucking thankful if I at least got my D&D folder out in time because it's so full of things that are old and important to me #but I'm cursing myself for not being smarter prioritizing what I was moving and working on a bunch of useless other junk #false complacency that the laptop was behaving okay for a while as if it couldn't go downhill very very quickly. #I suspect my references and screenshots are just going to be a lost cause even if I save the writing #feeling very floaty about it right now. years of work. #so so much work of so many different kinds #rambling #this is what I get not being more regular backing my shit up. #kinda funny for it to happen after I woke up wanting to write though huh

[atinylittlepain]

Firehouse Harrington - Chapter 2

fireman!Steve x f!reader/f!oc

series masterlist

warnings | 18+ SMUT, angst, toxic relationship dynamic

a/n | gonna keep writing for this pathetic, sexy, messed-up man, that is all

Steve Harrington is puzzling. That’s the only conclusion she’s really reached. He’s taken her on more than a few dates, now seeing each other for a little over two months, and the stark contrast between the simply sweet gestures - always showing up with flowers, always opening doors for her, insisting on paying for her meal - and the downright nasty, bordering on violent sex sends her head reeling. She’s having a hard time discerning where he ends and where these staggeringly high walls he’s built begin. She knows he’s the last thing she needs right now. Her last year of college, grad school tentatively on the horizon. But Christ, she just can’t seem to get him out of her system.

She’s meeting him at the station tonight since his twenty-four hour shift ends at six. They’re going out for dinner. She’s learned that he doesn’t like movie theaters, concerts, or crowds in general, only tolerating bars when he’s good and drunk. She’s learned that she doesn’t like him very much when he’s drunk. So, most of their dates have been in quiet, hole in the wall restaurants, usually leading back to his uncharacteristically nice apartment. She didn’t think firefighters were exactly swimming in cash, but he seems to be quite comfortable. He had explained to her how he’s only on shift at the station three or four days out of the week, the rest of the time working at a mechanic’s shop. She knows he served, growing quickly accustomed to his dog tags dangling in front of her face, but he’s never told her anything about it. It’s difficult to get Steve to say much about himself. 

When she reaches the station, she finds the garage open, Steve just stepping down from one of the trucks, all geared up, his jacket undone to show the damp, clinging t-shirt beneath. The first thing she notices is the soot smearing across his face. She hovers just at the edge of the garage, anxiously wringing the strap of her purse, the other men too focused on getting out of their ashy uniforms to notice. Steve glances her direction before doubling back to fully take her in. He always looks her up and down when he first sees her, like he’s practically devouring her whole. It makes her squirm.

He lets out a sigh, shuffling over to her in his heavy boots. He reaches for her, but his hands flex, thinking better of it as he’s still so filthy from wherever he just was. 

“Hey, doll. I’m real sorry. We got called out this afternoon. Massive blowout in an apartment building. Can you give me like ten minutes? Just gotta get cleaned up for you and I’m all yours.” She swallows around a thickness in her throat.

“I-it’s fine. Steve, are you sure you’re ok to go out?” She reaches her hand up to tuck some of his damp hair back behind his smudged face, but he somewhat unkindly swats her hand away, she flinches.

“I’m fine. Just need to clean off. Why don’t you come wait inside, huh?” She nods, feeling both frustrated and floaty at how easily he takes control, renders her meek.

He guides her into the station. It looks like how she’d expect a house full of middle-aged men to look, comfy, lived-in, if not a bit sparse. She sits down in an armchair in what she supposes could be called the living room, watching Steve’s figure retreat up the stairs. 

She’s starting to regret the dress she wore as the other men start to filter through the station, letting their eyes linger on her bare legs a little longer than she’d like. 

“You Harrington’s girl?” An older man with a thick mustache walks up to her, sizing her up like a piece of meat. She clears her throat, trying to make herself as big as possible.

“I suppose I am, yeah, what’s it to you?” The man chuckles before letting out a low whistle.

“He better keep a close eye on you, sweet thing.” His grin makes her stomach twist unpleasantly. Another man sidles up, sitting down on the armrest of her chair. She leans into the other side, jerking away as he takes a strand of her hair between his fingers.

“What’re you going out with Harrington for, baby? Pretty little thing like you could do a whole lot better.” She scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest after flicking his hand away. 

“Well, I’m really sorry, gentleman. I didn’t mean to bother you, but I’m just trying to wait for my date. So if you could, you know, fuck off, I’d appreciate it.” The men both laugh at her bite. Mustache shuffles forward, bending over until he’s level with her face. She does her best to meet his gaze, unblinking.

“Harrington better teach you some manners, honey. That’s no way to be talking to men. I suggest you show us a little more respect.” He grins again, crooked, beer-stained teeth and breath that reeks of cigarettes.

“And I suggest you get the fuck out of my face.” 

“Now listen here, you little–”

“Michaels, Cahill, I see you’ve met my girl.” Both men immediately back off. Her stomach drops, knowing that Steve is not going to like what he heard one bit. He didn’t like her swearing, sure, but in the brief time they had been together, she had also learned that Steve was a violently jealous man with a very short temper. He offers his hand to her and she takes it, getting pulled into his side with his arm around her waist.

“You’ve got a real spitfire on your hands there, Harrington. Gonna have to hose that one down to handle the heat.” The two men laugh, slapping Steve on the back as they walk away, Steve’s face set in a tight smile that really looks more like a grimace. She sees the way his jaw is ticking. He pulls slightly away from her, taking her hand to lead her out of the station, a muttered “let’s go” is all she gets. What a great start to the night.

He hails them a cab outside, and when they get in, she furrows her brow at him when he gives the driver directions that are definitely not to the restaurant they were supposed to be going to. She goes to question him, but he cuts her off.

“We’re going back to mine. That ok with you, spitfire?” She swallows hard, a cold weight settling at the base of her spine. She nods, but that wasn’t what he was looking for. The hand not draped over her shoulder reaches up to grab her jaw, forcing her to look at him.

“I asked you a question, bunny. And I expect an answer.” She does her best to steady her voice, but it still comes out a little shaky.

“Yes, Steve. That’s ok with me.” 

The rest of the car ride is silent, Steve’s hand coming to wrap around the swell of her thigh. She hates to admit it, but even as much as his tough guy act upsets her, it also makes something in her twist, heat already starting to build.

Even when he’s pissed, Steve is still polite. He gets out of the cab first, jogging around the side to open her door for her, holding her hand all the way up to his apartment’s floor. But once they get inside it’s a different story.

The second he closes the door, he’s got her pinned up against it, palms framing her face. Normally, she’d play along, fine with skipping the date and going straight to fucking. She liked it as much as he seemed to, the intensity. But tonight, she was exhausted, hadn’t eaten since this morning because of her stupid class schedule, running around all afternoon trying to console and advise her hopeless freshmen, and had been really looking forward to at least some quiet, simple time with Steve. Plainly put, she wasn’t having it.

She shoves lightly at his chest, huffing above his head that had already dipped to bite and suck at her neck.

“Steve, Steve. C’mon, j-just slow down a bit. There’s no need to get so f-fucking worked up.” She knows it was the exactly wrong thing to say right now, but quite frankly she’s too tired to care. He freezes in what he’s doing, letting out a low scoff before leaning back to peer at her. 

“What did I tell you about that mouth, baby? Embarrassing me in front of those pricks. Tell me, is that how you talk to all your little college boys, huh?” He’s brought one hand to rest right at the base of her throat, thumb pressing up the length of her neck.

“Wha– what are you talking about? What boys, Steve? I’ve only been seeing you. You know that.” He laughs and the edge to it makes her stomach clench.

“I don’t know, doll. With a mouth like that, I find it a little hard to believe you haven’t been whoring yourself out. Spreading your legs to whoever’s looking. Such a stupid slut.” This is new. Sure, Steve can be degrading in bed, but it’s always superficial stuff, never crossing some unconsciously agreed upon boundary. But this is starting to graze bone. She shoves him again, this time successfully dipping out from his grasp before whirling around to look at him.

“Jesus christ. You need to grow up, Steve. Quit being such a fucking tough guy for five seconds,” she scoffs lightly, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I need to sit down.” She turns to walk over to his couch but he quickly grips her wrist, pulling her back to him until her forearms are crashing into his chest.

“You don’t fucking walk away from me. You’re my girl. Mine. And when you talk to me you’ll do it with some fucking respect–”

She’s doing it before her brain can even process, arcing her free hand out and slapping him clean across the face, his head jerking to the side. He lets go of her, a look of shock dragged down his face.

“You sound just like them and it makes me sick.” She storms off down the hall towards his bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind her. Truthfully, she has no clue what she’s doing, or what she just did. She should have marched right out the front door, but now she’s stuck, sitting on the edge of the bathtub with her head in her hands. She can’t help the sobs that start to softly roll through her, a culmination of a terrible day.

She’s startled by soft knocks at the door.

“Baby? Baby, please come out. I’m so sorry, honey, please– will you please come out? I didn’t mean it, baby, I just– you know how I get– just still worked up from the job this afternoon, that’s all. Please, pretty baby, let me make it up to you? Please, honey.” Steve’s voice is soft, a mumbling murmur of pleas slipping under the door.

She doesn’t say anything. Wouldn’t know what to say in the first place. For now, she stays seated, counting her breaths, trying to calm down, to figure out what to do next. She can hear him let out a long sigh, and the sound of feet shuffling. It’s been maybe forty five minutes when she opens the door, finding him sitting right next to it, his back against the wall, his forehead resting on his drawn-in knees. She can’t help but notice how small he looks.

His head shoots up and if she didn’t know any better, she’d think he had been crying.

“I’m sorry, baby.” She sighs, kneeling down in front of him.

“It’s ok, Steve. I-I forgive you. But you can’t get like that everytime something upsets you. What you said really hurt. You call me your girl and I am your girl, but you have to trust in what that means.” He swallows thickly, nodding, allowing her to take one of his hands in hers.

“I do trust you, pretty. It’s everyone else I don’t trust. S’just, you could have anyone. So fucking smart, and beautiful. Sometimes I don’t get why you’re with me.” She squeezes his hand, scooting a little closer to him.

“Steve, I want you. Don’t care about anyone else. But I need you to trust me when I tell you that. Need you to talk to me about what you’re feeling instead of just taking it out on me. I do want you, baby, but not enough to stick around if you keep treating me like that.” Steve nods hard at that, slowly shifting to stand up, bringing her along with him. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Her cheek squishes right above his heartbeat.

“I’ll be better, baby. I promise. Be the kind of guy you deserve.” She sighs into his chest, letting herself relax into his arms a bit more. Steve pulls back just slightly to look down at her.

“You hungry, pretty?” She smiles, a bit sheepishly, nodding up at him.

…

They order chinese and have dinner on his couch. He feeds her bites of his lo mein and she can’t help but feel a sense of whiplash, looking at this sweet man who just a few hours ago was an angry mess. But he is sweet, just enough to put earlier this evening out of her mind. 

He takes both their finished containers and sets them down on the coffee table, turning to look at her lazily smiling at him. He clears his throat.

“I really am sorry, pretty. Didn’t mean to hurt you. Never wanna hurt you.” She reaches out to card her fingers through his hair and his eyes flutter shut for a moment.

“I know, baby. I accept your apology. Just don’t do it again, yeah?” He nods, shifting on the couch until he’s pressed up against her, his arm around her shoulders. He drops a soft kiss to her lips.

“Wanna make it up to you, doll. Will you let me? Let me make you feel good?” She takes a sharp breath as his hand on her thigh starts to skirt up, her dress riding up her legs along with it. She nods, a hummed “mmhmm,” all it takes for Steve to slide down onto his knees in front of her.

He brings both palms to splay over the softness of her thighs, dragging them up and up until he finds the band of her panties. He doesn’t even have to say anything, she lifts her hips for him as if on command, letting him slide the light blue cotton down her legs, tossing them off to the side. It’s quiet, save for her broken exhales, as he guides the backs of her knees over his shoulders, shifting her hips down to the edge of the couch. He lets his lips drag along the insides of her thighs, leaving open-mouthed kisses in his simpering wake. He keeps getting frustratingly close to her cunt before dipping back to nip and suckle at her thighs. She lets out a long whine the next time he does it. He grins up at her.

“What is it, pretty? You gotta tell me what you want.” She huffs at his teasing.

“I want you, please.”

“You got me, baby. Gonna have to be more specific.” She pulls the one card she knows will stop his toying with her.

“I want your mouth, daddy. Please, daddy, need your mouth.” She can see the corners of his mouth flickering. Got him.

“Good girl. Daddy’s gonna give it to you. Anything you want, baby, just gotta ask.” He mumbles the last bit as he dips his head down, drawing a long arc through her folds with his tongue. She preens under the sudden contact.

Steve works her over with a desperate hunger, only pulling away to spit roughly at her cunt before chasing after the pooling wetness there. There’s a lewd squelching sound as he suckles on her clit, making her throw her head back in a low moan, digging her heel into his back.

“That’s it, bunny. Let daddy hear how good it feels, give it all to me.” He dips lower, fucking his tongue into her cunt and she gasps, fisting one of her hands in his hair, earning a low thrumming groan from him that burns through her core. His nose is catching her clit just right as he continues to lick into her before he draws his mouth back up, letting two fingers slide in where his tongue just was. She lets out a broken cry when he finds that spot inside her, stroking it with each thrust of his hand. He’s panting when he comes up for air.

“Want you to come on my fingers, bunny. Can you do that for daddy? Make a fucking mess of me, baby.” She whimpers, nodding frantically, her eyes scrunched shut as she rocks her hips against his face and palm, chasing a high that’s teetering dangerously close.

“Open your eyes, pretty. Want your eyes on me when you come. Be a good girl.” She does what he says, eyes blowing wide and the sight of him, hair a mess, cheeks damp with her, his pupils blown out, is enough to send her right over the edge. She cries out, hips lifting up, pulsing around his fingers before slowly melting into a breathless mess. Steve sits up on his knees, pulling her in for a kiss and she groans at the taste of herself on his tongue.

He murmurs for her to wrap her legs around him and she does, always surprised by his stolid strength when he lifts her up off the couch, carrying her to his bedroom. He lays her back on his bed, caging her in between his forearms as they meet in another kiss. He presses his hips firmly into hers and she can feel his hardness as he shunts his hips forward, dragging along her sensitive cunt.

She fumbles for the hem of his shirt before he gets the hint, peeling away from her to yank it off by the collar before unbuckling his belt. She quickly pulls her dress off over her head and when he dives back down to meet her, his mouth goes to lick over a peaked nipple through the thin fabric of her bra. She sighs, pressing her chest up towards his mouth, giving him the space to reach around and unclasp her bra before sliding it down her shoulders. He pauses for a moment, slack jawed, as he takes her in. His hand comes to her jaw before running his thumb over her bottom lip, he sighs.

“So fucking beautiful.” She takes his thumb into her mouth, sucking on it, earning a low grumbling moan from him before he takes it from her mouth with a startling pop.

He shuffles his jeans and boxers down his legs before hovering back over her, pressing the fat head of his cock through her folds. They both groan at the contact. 

“P-please don’t tease me, daddy. Need it so bad.” He scoffs at her crumpled expression.

“I know what you need, baby. Daddy’s got you, huh?” With that, he lines himself up with her entrance, pressing forward. It always has been and continues to be a stretch, a pleasure that dips into pain as he digs his hips into hers, bottoming out. She draws her nails down his back, feeling him shudder under the delicate scrapes he’s sure to be left with. He dips his face into her neck, pressing chaste kisses along her jumping tendons.

“Can I move, pretty. Are you ok?” She gasps out a “yes” and he rolls his hips experimentally, a long, digging thrust that makes her eyes roll back. He grabs onto the plush of her thigh before guiding her leg to wrap around his hip, spreading her out for him. The pace he sets is slow but harsh, punches of his hips that send her rocking up the length of the bed. They’re wrapped in the sounds of their heavy breathing, the sloppy wetness of his thrusts into her, and the headboard lightly banging against the wall.

He brings the rough pads of his fingers down to swipe across her clit and she cries out, clenching hard around him. Everytime they fuck, she’s reminded that she’s never had anyone press this deep into her, a feeling that churns her insides and sets pleasure pooling in her stomach.

“Need to feel you, baby. Need you to come on my cock. Come on, pretty, let go.” His groaned words are all it takes for that pleasure to spill over for the second time, her arms pulling him down until he’s practically laying on top of her. He continues to grind into her, fucking her through her high in a way that keeps her pleasure thrumming at an almost unbearable high. 

He presses up onto one hand, the other holding onto her hip in a way she’s sure will leave bruises. His hips are starting to stutter and she can tell he’s close.

“You’re mine, right doll? Tell me you’re mine.” She gazes up at him, dragging her fingers through his hair.

“M’all yours, daddy. All for you, baby. I’m yours.” He lets out a broken moan at her words, digging his face back into her neck.

“Fuck– say my name, baby. Say my fucking name.” “Steve, want you to come for me– p-please come for me.”

“M’close, baby– fuck– s-so close. Where do you want me?”

“Inside, wanna feel you, Steve– give it to me, baby– please, wanna feel you f-fill me up.” He lets out a warbly curse before pressing his hips into hers bruisingly as she feels his warmth start to spread inside her. He sighs into her collarbone, letting his lips dance across her skin.

They lay entangled for a few moments, listening as their breaths start to slow down. She winces as he pulls out of her, immediately feeling the way his spend drips onto the sheets. Thank god for birth control. He presses a firm kiss to her lips before getting up and stepping into the bathroom, coming back with a warm towel to clean her up.

He murmurs a sorry into the soft swell of her stomach when she hisses under his ministrations, already feeling the ache settling into her hips. He tosses the towel into his hamper, sliding on a clean pair of boxers and bringing one of his t-shirts over to her. They move silently, they’ve done this many times.

She offers him a soft smile as she slides the worn-out shirt over her head. Steve settles back into bed, pulling her to rest her chin on his chest. They share another small kiss before descending into silence. There’s nothing left to say. She wants so badly for him to have meant what he said earlier, that he’ll start to let her in a bit more. But she also knows they had a very similar conversation just last week, when they had gotten back to Steve’s place with him nursing a set of bloodied, swollen knuckles from the face of the poor guy who had tried to talk to her. Everytime, she swears that the next time he pulls something like that, she’ll leave and not look back. And everytime, he draws her right back in. There’s something in her heart for him that she’s not yet ready to press on, to speak aloud. Too afraid of what it could mean.

He falls asleep before her, the gentle rise and fall of his chest underneath her cheek. She shifts slightly to gaze up at him, one of the rare moments when his features are soft, at peace. She thinks that maybe there’s hope for Steve Harrington yet.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut

[iliiuan]

~A whole episode about death. I'm intrigued.~

Babylon 5 s1e2 Soul Hunter

Aw, they made a shout-out to Asimov. I doubt his work will withstand the test of time. It's already fading.

Helllloooo doctor. You are yummy. (Oh, he was a soap actor. That explains everything.)

An unknown ship. The plot thickens.

Uh oh. Kamikaze or shipwreck?

Earth vs Minbari. Got it. 10 years ago, so not very long.

2258 seems sufficiently in the future that no one will be laughing at how overly optimistic the technology is. Probably end up being the other way, where they think it's funny people still use toilet paper or something.

In the 90s, it was like, why would Russia still be an uneasy ally in 250 years? They would totally be on our team by then. And now in the 2020s it's more like, is it possible for Russia to ever be an ally to anyone?

Nice bit of space dancing. I love when they get the physics right. They have the ship responding to the thruster burns. It's fucking glorious.

That grapple is a bit pathetic. Like a toy grabber at the fair.

Oh, lady with the crown skull is Minbari. Good to know.

Shak Tot. Soul Eater. Sounds delightful. Don't invite them over for dinner.

He's an ugly fucker, isn't he? Weird vagina forehead.

Delenn is distraught. She saw the boogeyman for real.

Are people really still falling for the three cup shuffle? Did they lose all the tropes between now and the future?

He's ugly *and* creepy.

Bizarre to believe that some people have a richer inner life than others.

Wow, they really wanted the Minbari leader's soul, didn't they? And the Minbari really didn't want to let them have it.

I like the Earther funeral rite. Not as good as Shienar's, but it's difficult to embrace the mother when you're floating in space. Although, you don't waste nutrients on a space station by jettisoning bodies out into space.

Your collection of souls are not your children that is so fucking creepy.

The complete difference in belief about what should happen with souls, whether death is permanent, how people should be honored in their death..... Obviously supposed to be an analogy for religions, but ostensibly in the b5 universe, there is an actual answer to who is correct? Like, dude has weird floaty crystal balls filled with other people's memories, so something real is happening. Does seem a bit selfish to keep all of those memories for yourself, though. It's like librarians gone mad scientist with a heavy dose of god-complex.

Uh oh. He's a rogue agent.

Satai. That's got to be important or Chekhov's going to be pissed.

The souls are angry with him? Fascinating.

Ooh, Delenn has Secrets.

"There's always time." Except that the inevitable heat death of the universe would disagree with you, but it's cool. You want to feel indestructible. I get it.

She's so happy to let the souls free.

I'm so happy to be alive.

#babylon 5 #babylon 5 s1e2 #death theme

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Jamil, Silver: Show me the World

Ahhh 😔 so turns out most of the interview questions were about using magic, BUT we do get one question about “something they hope to do in the upcoming year” I’m counting this as a partially correct prediction 😂.

I’ll be focusing on the future as the central theme for my next birthday series. Let’s start off strong with Jamil, the birthday trendsetter! Okay but let’s be honest here, those pointy elf shoes are ugly as hell

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

“What’s one thing you hope to do this upcoming year?”

The future? A tantalizing concept that Jamil often found himself toying with. It was a single die dancing between his fingers and the palm of his hand, yet to be cast.

But alas, there was no future for him—at least not one defined by his own free will.

Not yet.

Jamil concealed a fist in the long sleeves of his robes. His face held not a trace of grief, nor frustration. He speaks with a controlled calmness, his tone perfectly steady.

“… I would like to learn about the cultures of countries outside of my own.” He indicated the sky with a thumb. “I had mentioned earlier that I wanted to travel the world and see things that aren’t in any guidebook. That’s a part of my reasoning.”

“You still have travel on the mind.” Silver nodded understandingly.

“I’ve not had many opportunities to go beyond the Scalding Sands. There is so much I have yet to be discovered about the world—so much that I want to learn and to experience for myself. Customs, traditions, beliefs... They differ so greatly from one to the next.

“I want to be mindful of that so as to not offend.” Jamil granted his interviewer a half smile. Foreigners in unfamiliar lands are prone to getting taking advantage of. I would like to avoid those situations as much as I can. “And, of course, to enrich my own understanding of them.

“My parents are very hospitable. They use their knowledge of other cultures to calm their most difficult of clients. It’s a very useful skill for any circumstance. I hope that I am able to emulate it for myself.”

“Different perspectives are very important things to consider,” Silver agreed. His words were floaty and slight, like slivers of moonlight sliced from the night. “During my father’s own travels, he was able to meet people from all over Twisted Wonderland and even beyond. He has amassed many teachings and much wisdom from them. ‘There is no right way, but rather a different way,’ he’d say.”

“Your father sounds almost like a myth. Just how has one man managed to travel so much in his short lifetime?”

“Ah, he...” Silver hesitated, his eyes cutting away briefly. “He has his ways.” 

“How fortunate for him.”

What I would give for that kind of freedom. Such a thing… I can only dream of it.

A thought caught in the web of Jamil’s mind. He plucked it out between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it in the pads of his fingers. The question was offered to his interviewer.

“Out of curiosity, did you see the world with him?”

“No. I stayed at home, looking after both the house and myself.” Silver paused. The aurora of his eyes lit up moments later, his eyebrows hitching as though he’d been struck by lightning. “Oh! I see now. You were worried about me, Jamil.”

“... I was what?” The birthday boy’s eyeballs were straining to stay contained in their sockets.

“It’s alright,” Silver reassured him. “I was never lonely without my father at home. I had company. There was Sebek and the local animals for me to play with—and I knew that my father would return safely from abroad. He always does.”

“You certainly have a lot of faith in him.”

“Yes! He is a great man, one that I highly respect.” Silver laid a hand over his heart, his gaze resolute. “… Jamil. Are you unafraid?”

“Of what?”

“When you depart for your travels… are you not afraid of how that will leave your family feeling? They must miss you terribly, even now while you’re studying at Night Raven College.”

Jamil’s response was trained.

Automatic.

“My family will be fine. They have their own work to tend to.”

My parents would kill me if I up and left my duties to travel the world. If they found out I had plans for that at all, they would try to stop me.

Because it had never really been about what he wanted, had it? There was always something above him. A matter more pressing, a person more important.

“You can’t do this. You understand, don’t you, Jamil?” The future is not yours.

It was never mine to begin with.

It was a treasure snatched from him right when it was already within his reach. Glistening gold, rich rubies, dazzling diamonds.

Slipping through his fingers like fine grains of sand.

If only he had a genie in a lamp. Someone to snap and suddenly make all of his wishes come true.

His throat constricted.

His expression remained unchanged. His true feelings, masked.

“Jamil.”

Silver had a hand on his shoulder. The knight’s face was solemn—serious, but strangely serene. His grip tightened into a squeeze.

“You’re a good person. No matter how much it may hurt them to see you leave… I’m sure that your family will support you no matter where you choose to go in life.”

Sincerity shone in Silver’s voice and eyes.

Good will, optimism, trust. All things he could afford because he was well-meaning. Well-meaning and ignorant.

Just like...

An irritatingly cheerful face flitted into his mind. Phantom hands closing around his, and the promise of a new beginning at his ears.

He frowned.

“Let’s start over, Jamil! Not as friends, but as rivals!! We’ll push each other to work even harder, get even better…! Then… we can work our way back to ‘friends’!”

“And just who in their right mind would ever willingly want to be friends with you?!“

That decision was mine.

“… Of course.” Jamil smirked, tossing back his ponytail. It fell like a curtain of night, the golden accessories woven into it twinkling like blinking stars. “I will make the world my own, regardless of the expectations placed on me.”

That’s right. I can’t give up here.

I refuse to quietly resign myself to that fate. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but… I will change it by my own hand.

“You have a wonderful future ahead of you.” Silver lowered his head to the birthday boy. “We are comrades. Let’s do our best to follow in the footsteps of our loved ones.”

“… Yes, let’s.”

Follow? No—I’ll break free.

Jamil twirled his broom and mounted it, setting loose a scatter of dark petals. They twirled in the crisp autumn breeze, joining with sunset colored leaves.

Magic ignited the broomstick, sparkles dancing along its bristles—the flowers. Already, it, and Jamil’s feet, were floating a few centimeters off the ground. Eager to soar to new heights.

Jamil tossed his interviewer a cool glance. “It’s time for the departure.”

“Safe travels along the birthday road and beyond it,” Silver advised. “You will see the world someday—and when you do, it will be shining, shimmering, and splendid.”

“… Thank you, Silver.”

Jamil did not look back.

Thank you for having faith in my future.

#twst #twisted wonderland #Jamil Viper #Jamil birthday takeover #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #spoilers #disney twisted wonderland #Silver #so what if I got it out a little early shhhh #something no one asked for

[tacomanarrows]

Decided I want to post this big project I did back in late May/early June! This was made to celebrate the 5 year anniversary of the release of Owl City's album Cinematic, on June 1st! It'll be a long post, so just be aware of that lmao

Since I started listening to Owl City again earlier this year, Cinematic has become my favorite album of his and one of my all time favs in general alongside Abandoned Pools’ Humanistic and Beat Crusaders’ EPop Making!

So with that, I wanted to draw something based around each song! With 15 songs on the album (not counting alt versions), they all translated nicely into pieces for this project! I also included a film border around each piece to tie them together, as well as due to the fact that on the album itself, each song is about a different experience or memory Adam Young has had throughout his life. He's said that he felt like writing these songs was like watching scenes from a movie, hence the name Cinematic!

As a sidenote, 4 of my characters (Shep, PBnJ, Rye and Pumpernickel) are in a cover band together called Let's Get Back!, and in addition to just celebrating Cinematic, this would also sort of be a cover album by them, hence why it says "Let's Get Back! presents" on the banner :] I'll post more abt Let's Get Back! down the line, but if you'd like to read about them now, you can check out their info hub! These pieces are almost all just Shep, despite Let’s Get Back! being a 4 member group. But since Owl City is just Adam Young, having most of these just be Shep made more sense haha

Piece by piece/song by song breakdown below the cut :]

Track 1: Fiji Water!

A song about jumping into something new and going wherever the ride takes you, since it was about Adam’s experience with signing onto a record label. The water slide vibe just felt rlly fitting here and was really fun to work with!

Track 2: The 5th of July!

Considering I was born in January rather than July like Adam was, I wanted to make this one as young Shep enjoying the fireworks, as they’ve always been something that’s fascinated me :]

Track 3: All My Friends!

My second favorite song on the album!! It’s so joyous and fun I love it so much! Of course, had to draw Shep with all his friends! This piece by far took me the longest out of all of these at more than two days lmao. It features (from left to right): Starburst, Rye, Luau, Shep, PBnJ, Pumpernickel and Wilkołak!

Track 4: House Wren!

Another joyous song about looking for a new house and having a song to sing while doing so. Just Shep listening to the house wren sing it’s happy song, simple yet effective :]

Track 5: Not All Heroes Wear Capes!

A really sweet song Adam wrote about his dad. To capture that sort of innocent admiration, I drew something Shep would have drawn for his dad at 8 years old and I think it came out super sweet <33

Track 6: Montana

I love the feeling of grandeur in this song, with lyrics about how enchanting and spectacular the landscape of Montana is! I’ve never been there myself, but I’ve seen pictures and yeah, it’s definitely amazing! So Shep is out there enjoying the amazing scenery

Track 7: Lucid Dream!

A much more abstract song to balance out the others, I wanted to capture the very, floaty starry vibe of this song for lack of a better term haha. I really like the simplicity of it! I also love the line in the song about being a light sleeper, but a heavy dreamer

Track 8: Always!

This is the one song on the album that doesn’t quite hit the mark for me, and that’s because it’s a song centered around faith. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, I’m just not a religious person. So I decided to interpret the meaning as always having a person you can love and count on to always be by your side, hence why I did it with Shep and PB, who in addition to being bandmates, are also bfs hehe :]

Track 9: Cloud Nine!

Another one of my favs, this is such a PBnShep song <3 What I went for here was a look like they’re outside stargazing and Shep is telling PB how much he cares about him while pointing out some of the amazing things in space

Track 10: Winners Never Quit!

A nice and cheerful song about never giving up and keeping on! I love the message of this one and it’s sort of retro chiptune vibe. Pretty straightforward here, just Shep with a big checkered flag for reaching your personal finish lines!

Track 11: Madeline Island!

My personal favorite out of the three travel related songs on the album (this, Montana and New York City), this one has the same feeling of grandeur that Montana does, but even more so! I also love the story of a camping trip to this island in Lake Superior, so I decided to do that! I also stylized it a bit with colored lineart for the landscape and I rlly like how that came out! Another piece that's up there as one of my favs from this project hehe

Track 12: Be Brave!

A song about the night Adam met his girlfriend at the movie theater, this is another very sweet song with a message about believing in yourself and well, being brave! Shep tends to get flustered and nervous sometimes when meeting up with PB, especially early on, so this song fits him well

Track 13: New York City!

The boys take a trip to NYC and look up at the spectacular Empire State Building! Having grown up about an hour outside of NYC my whole life, I don’t quite have the same ethereal view about it that others might, but I won’t deny it’s impressive! The Empire State Building especially is one of my all time favorite buildings :]

Track 14: Firebird!

A song about growing up, this is another one I really love. I feel like a staple of childhood is sitting with your friends outside at a wall or something similar and just talking abt life and enjoying each other’s company, so that’s what I went for. It’s another simple piece that I really enjoyed making as well as the final result!

Track 15: Cinematic!

And the grand finale!! Cinematic is my favorite song from the album and my second favorite Owl City song overall, just behind Rainbow Veins!! After all of these songs that Adam wrote from his experiences, this song feels like a magnificent culmination of that and a passing of the torch to us to go and be the stars of our own movies and lives! It’s such an amazing song with a fantastic message and I can’t get enough of it! I also used some new brushes to make the film strip and I’m actually super happy with it!

So all in all, Cinematic is my favorite Owl City album and one of my all time favorites in general. Every song is unique and brings a great message and story. This project, although very time consuming, was an absolute blast to work on and brainstorm around. This album means so much to me and I really hope I was able to showcase some of that here. Please go give it a listen if you’ve never heard it before, or even if you have and it’s been awhile! I know there’s a lot of people who don’t like Owl City’s newer stuff, but give this one a fair shake! (Coco Moon is a fantastic follow up too btw hehe) So overall, thank you Adam for making such fantastic music for so long now and I can’t wait to see the show in Indianapolis later this year!!

#Owl City #Cinematic #Owl City Cinematic #fanart #fan art #music #music fan art #owl city fanart #furry #furry art #sfw furry #fursona #my art #anthro #cartoon art #art #oc: Shep #oc: PBnJ #oc: Wilkołak #oc: Starburst #oc: Luau #oc: Rye #oc: Pumpernickel #project #TacDraws

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

developing an idea for a pretty detailed/angsty MLP royal sisters origin AU(HCs and timeline) (Luna focused) (with a happy ending ofc) omgggg!!! (32 bullet pt.s below the cut) (comment something if I should add anything or if you have questions)

They're one year apart, Celestia is 15 and Luna is almost 14 when they become alicorns and very soon afterwards get crowned rulers, and they've had their cutie marks and been raising the moon/sun for a few years at this point.

They were both the magic apprentices of Starswirl before they transformed and became princesses (That part is actually canon I think)

Their magical abilities over the sun and moon are revered across the kingdom and they get crowned as rulers far too young because of how powerful they are. If a pony lives far enough away that they might never meet the princesses, they probably don't even know how young they are.

Luna and Celestia are both under too much pressure and it is severely Getting To Them, but in different ways.

Luna can't deal with it but it is much more difficult for her to keep her feelings on the inside than it is for her sister. Luna constantly cries and has to hide, leaving Celestia to handle whatever is going on by herself. Luna sometimes feels jealous that her sister is so "strong", but usually she just wishes she didn't have to be a princess.

Celestia can't make herself do anything besides move forward, but whenever they aren't in front of someone they have to behave for, she tends to act overly angry with Luna, Starswirl, their parents, or whoever. She is incredibly ashamed and whenever she has the energy she tries to make up for it and pretend like nothing is wrong, but Luna knows she is faking.

Luna sees how obviously stressed her sister is and tries to convince Celestia to step down from being a princess. All she wants is to be a normal kid again, she might even quit magic lessons.

Celestia works so hard to act like she's fine. She yells that Luna is the one leaving her to deal with ponies all by herself all the time, and that she should go hide in the dark for a thousand years. Their argument escalates until they fight and Celestia literally sends Luna to the moon. That happens two years after they become princesses, so ages 17 and nearly 16.

Celestia didn't know that alicorns were immortal yet, so she believed she would never see Luna again. It took another thirty or so years for her to reach her full height and power level(plus floaty hair), and all she could think of was how she would never see Luna grow up like she did. Luna would wake up after a millennium and be all by herself, just like how *she* was all alone right now. Celestia never really becomes friends with anyone for a while, and her parents never hear her even speak Luna's name for the rest of their lives.

Luna had a reputation for not liking anypony because nopony knew where she went when she disappeared to cry. When she banished and no explanation given, some noble-status unicorns started a rumor that Luna had been jealous of her sister. Celestia thinks it is selfish and cruel to allow ponies to think that of her fragile little sister, but she never disputes the rumors because she can't bear to say the truth about what she did.

Those rumors eventually become a bedtime story with an evil jealous princess with dark magic, Nightmare Moon. The story sticks around long enough that most ponies don't realize Princess Luna was real or that Celestia ever had a sister to rule with.

At some point, Celestia realizes she isn't going anywhere. She has long known the date of Luna's return and even created an annual festival as a count down timer for herself. But she never puts two and two together that she will be there to see Luna's return until that year grows very close.

When Luna is on the moon, she learns to navigate the dream realm. The moon isn't so much a place as it is a stasis state, but her mind can wander wherever it pleases. Many ponies have been visited by what seems to be a helpful spirit, an alicorn princess who is simply addressed as "Luna", but in the waking world she is known as the Princess of Dreams. She helps ponies to know what to do once they awake.

it takes years before Luna learns to access the dream realm, through sheer perseverance. She cried out one night from her own dream to another's she seemed nearby and realized she could literally reach out to them using her magic and cross in between dreams.

It takes even more years before Celestia hears about this. She halfway chalks it up to another fairy tale, something parents say to foals so they won't be afraid of the dark, or impatient or anxious for the coming day. The other part of her wishes somepony would tell her what to do in her dreams. This is nonsense of course, she is the monarch of Equestria and she always knows exactly what to do, she tells herself before drifting into sleep.

Luna doesn't exactly choose what dream she ends up in, she just follows a feeling of sorts. She has never visited her sister, but she vaguely remembers visiting Starswirl once. She spends years and years only in the dream realm and the days and nights all blend together. Whenever she is eventually released, it almost feels as if no time has passed at all, but her memory has faded all the same.

When Luna is returned, she is encapsulated in a shell made of matured alicorn magic just like Celestia's. She never really grew into it because she hasn't grown up yet. This entity calls itself Nightmare Moon, based on a powerful princess it saw in a child's dream. Nightmare Moon doesn't need anypony else, she never gets scared, she has a clear plan for exactly what to do with her kingdom, and she has powerful alicorn moon magic- she is perfect.

When Luna is freed from the shell, she is not only her teenage size, but visibly weaker from not being able to physically move for so long. She regularly zones out, but forgets whatever it is she was thinking when during that.

In her dreams, Luna is a young unicorn and her parents take care of her. Sometimes she replays a memory from what the kingdom was like a thousand years prior, but sometimes her parents are reimagined to teach her how to live in the present day.

Luna often struggles to understand modern stuff. She still uses old-fashioned grammatical structures because it's polite for her, but has picked up modern ponish language during her years in the dream realm helping out modern ponies.

With the way Celestia acts in the present, it's hard to believe she was ever the same pony Luna used to know. Celestia did eventually make other friends, as well as improved her mental health and her ruling capabilities. Sometimes, Luna doubts herself. Clearly, Celestia is a very capable leader, so does that mean Luna really was jealous and convinced herself that her sister was having the same feelings about ruling that she was just to justify wanting to step down? Was she truly in the wrong and trying to undermine Celestia's rule?

It's much more difficult for Luna to remember that far back than it is for Celestia, and her short term memory is pretty bad as well. It's hard to tell if that's because of her banishment, or because Luna always had a hard time with that sort of thing. Even now, Luna could tell you how to tell the difference between two (now extinct) wild cat species native to their mountain home, and which one was the dangerous one, but she could barely remember the events of her day sometimes.

Luna is not expected by Celestia to become a ruler again just because she's a princess. After all, just because her one-thousand-sixteenth birthday is on the horizon doesn't mean she isn't still a kid. All this is fine with the citizens because the lowkey forgot about her ever ruling in the first place.

Luna lives with Celestia some of the time, but Twilight is her guardian and her magic teacher. Until the return of the crystal empire, Cadence also frequently visited the Golden Oak Library to lighten the load, telling Twi it was just one of her royal duties, as she was the princess who often traveled for any royal duties outside Canterlot.

Luna's a little bit jealous that Twilight and Cadence got to grow up with the new Celestia, but she also feels isolated because nopony has the same complicated feelings about her that she does. Spike actually feels a similar way about Twilight, because Luna and the CMCs got to know Twilight only after her constant-study days when she'd ignore what he said, and long after she was young and hadn't fully realized Spike was more similar to a foal than a cat.

Luna probably has more questions about dragon culture than the other ponies do. Back before her banishment, the dragons were known to be another society, even if they were usually at war with ponies. Nowadays, it's been so long since contact with the dragons because Torch got bored of war centuries ago, that ponie didn't really know anything about dragons and didn't realize they had their own society and technology and language. Spike appreciates that Luna was the first pony he met who didn't think he was Twilight's tiny chubby pet at first.

When Twilight becomes an alicorn and gets crowned a princess, Luna gets pretty mad at Celestia until she realizes that Twilight is only given the amount of responsibility she is capable of, but she is still always ready to defend Twilight and stand up to Celestia.

Luna eventually gets comfortable being addressed as a princess, and even with being the ranking authority in certain situations, but she never gets the same type of ruler duties as Cadence and Celestia do.

By the time Starlight moves into Twilight's castle, Luna is beginning too consider moving out. There's plenty of space, so she gets to keep her room in the castle, but there's a whole lot of Equestria out there.

She packs light and is super chill, not necessarily the adventurer type, but she visits damn near every city on the map and meets tons of ponies her own age who she remains in contact with, before-

eventually attending Twilight's school of friendship for one term and befriending some of the other students from multiple different grades.

Yona, Smolder, Pinkie, and Maude become some of her best friends out of the canon cast, but she makes other friends too. The five of them bond over being willing to eat literal rocks, and not fitting in.

#she's literally the princess ever #HERRR #princess luna #mlp luna #mlp g4 #mlp fim #mlp au #mlp au lore #mlp princess luna #princess celestia #mlp celestia #about the pony show

[baeshijima]

To: Sophie

Subject: Random headcanon regarding Alhaitham, Kaveh and Mehrak!

I find Mehrak to be very cute (it's quite a shame that I don't get to use Kaveh all that much because of how I don't have all that many hydro characters to help him with the bloom reactions)

But anyways, I decided I wanted him on team while I explore Fontaine (Raiden's banner starts soon and I'm not having all that many fates, I really want her but then Nahida's rerun should be like next ver since all the archons are getting reruns— ugh but I don't have primogems!!!! Anyway, I digress hehe)

So, Mehrak, the cute little toolbox, looks like a fun little floaty companion (much like Paimon is to the Traveler minus the fact Mehrak doesn't talk) and it made me wonder: does Mehrak float around the house or does it just lie around somewhere in Kaveh's room?

It made me think of how a roomba is, moves around the house doing its thing, plus is effortlessly cute!

So like, what if whenever Kaveh's busy pulling an all-nighter, Mehrak gets him coffee every now and then? Y'know like how Mehrak can hold Kaveh's claymore during combat, it must also be able to hold a pot, pour some coffee, and deliver the mug to the sleep-deprived architect, no?

Or or or, Alhaitham, randomly having awoke during the night because he heard something break somewhere in the house and upon inspection finds a mess of broken glass and spilt coffee in the kitchen. The culprit? Mehrak who's floating, panicky and with a sad little >< face (Kaveh either rushes into the scene worried that Mehrak might have gotten hurt(? damaged? you get it) or he's fast asleep in some awkward position at his desk and didn't hear the sound)

What if! Kaveh goes out without Mehrak and returns back to find his toolbox sulking in the corner hehe (or maybe it would come zooming up to Kaveh and gives him a little bump, like you know how dogs come rushing up to you and how cats rub against you?)

Maybe when Kaveh's too busy, Mehrak will float up to Alhaitham as he does something (work or simply reading), and will float around him, maybe bored? maybe wanting attention? Like how cats just won't let you work lol

Aaaaandddd!! Imagine either Kaveh or Alhaitham just doing stuff and they turn around and Mehrak is floating there with a cute little curious look and it gives them a bit of a scare everytime because lol you can't hear footsteps if no one's walking

*kicking my feet, giggling at the endless possibilities*

I feel like Mehrak isn't talked about much and so my thoughts resulted in this hehe

Hoping this new year has started well for you! And may it bring you plenty happiness!!

🍀

CLOVER NONNIE THESE HCS ARE SO SO CUTE HELLO???? THE LIL MEHRAK INTERACTIONS ARE SO !! mehrak is kavehs right hand partner and in here we preach mehrak supremacy 😩

but that also reminded me of this description in his skill

#omg a convo !? #clover nonnie !! #just genshin <3 #sobbing mehrak is so cute i love mehrak sm :(( #the lil expressions kill me every time ;w;;;; #AND I HOPE THIS NEW YEAR HAS BROUGHT HAPPINESS TO U TOO 🫶🫶

[eurovision-del]

The Eesti Laul songs have been out for a while now. Unlike for Albania and Czechia, I've had plenty of time to get familiar with all these songs, so I'm feeling very happy with my ranking.

Antsud – Vetevaim

5MINNUST & Puuluup – (nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi

OLLIE – My Friend

Cecilia – FOMO

Brother Apollo – Bad Boy

Multikas & Ewert Sundja – Oblivion

Anet Vaikmaa – Serotoniin

Nele-Liis Vaiksoo – Käte ümber jää

Traffic – Wunderbar

Sofia Rubina – Be Good

INGA – No Dog On a Leash

Peter Põder – Korra veel

Ewert and The Two Dragons – Hold Me Now

YONNA – I Don’t Know About You

Daniel Levi – Over the Moon

Uudo Sepp & Sarah Murray – Still Love 

Carlos Ukareda – Never Growing Up

Silver Jusilo – Lately

Laura – Here’s Where I Draw the Line

Ingmar – Dreaming

I've listened to all these songs quite a lot since they were released, and four have become my firm favourites. Vetevaim is captivating, with its pretty melody, floating vocal line and non-standard time signature which contributes to its unique sound. It’s either in 6/4 or alternating 4/4 and 2/4, but either way it creates an interesting flow. I love the singing style here, the twang in the voice on the verses against the breathiness of the chorus. The drum beat and guitar give it a bit of a rock sound which I always enjoy, and ground an otherwise very floaty song. I do have two slight criticisms, however – firstly, while I like the vocal call sound of the chorus, I wish it did something more as the song progresses, being just ‘henene’ can feel a little dull by the end. Secondly, the song finishes quite abruptly – it stops, rather than finishing, which really doesn’t feel right given how well the rest of the song flows.

(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi (what a title) grabbed my attention from the start, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it until the chorus hit, then I was fully on board. That chorus is stupidly catchy, and I like the combination of the two voices, switching from the higher lines to the bass lines. The music slaps, it’s the perfect balance of not taking itself too seriously while still being actually really fun to listen to.

OLLIE is back after doing so well last year, which I’m happy about! At first I didn’t feel I enjoyed My Friend as much as Venom, but I think that was just down to familiarity with the old song. Honestly, it’s pretty safe as far as a follow up goes – pretty much on the same level, but if it works, it works! I actually took a while to warm to Venom last year, it was the live performance that sold it for me, so I’ve got my expectations high for how this one will come across live too!

I also surprisingly found myself really liking FOMO – it’s been stuck in my head a lot these past few weeks! I love the pulse of this song, fast paced and exciting. The pre-chorus is probably the catchiest part, but the chorus stays with me too, and I really enjoy how it sounds. If Estonia wanted to go pop this year, they could do a lot worse than this!

There’s plenty more songs I enjoy here, and while I do have a couple at the bottom of my list that I actively dislike, they’re far outnumbered by the ones I like, and there's plenty of variety on offer. This edition of Eesti Laul would be shaping up to be a really great contest… if it weren’t for the auto-qualifier rule they’ve added this year. I do enjoy Bad Boy, but I’m holding off my final decision until I see the live – if they lean into the ridiculousness of it it’ll be a great time but if they try and play it straight it’ll fall down my ranking. I quite like Käte ümber jää too, but the rest of the confirmed finalist songs do absolutely nothing for me. I’m not looking forward to seeing all the remaining songs duke it out in the semi knowing that I’d happily take nearly any of them over most of the pre-qualified songs.

#eurovision #esc2024 #nf ranking #estonia

[dullorangepulp]

The protagonist of my (currently unnamed) ghost-hunting story, Olivia! Info under cut:

Olivia and her older sister, Amber, live in a haunted town, which has been overrun by ghosts for centuries, after a witch cast a spell over it 200 years ago. No one knows how, or WHY the witch did it; no historian, or first-hand account of the event could place why. The only lasting interpretation was that the witch wanted to "get back" at the town for their poor treatment of her, but as for what that treatment was, or if the witch was ever even associated with the town, is unknown. The townspeople can only ever speculate.

At first, this curse struck fear into the hearts of the townspeople, who were afraid that the ghosts would cause harm. However, when the humans tried to expel the ghosts out of their town, they discovered that the ghosts... were actually FRIENDLY? :OOOO

Yep. The ghosts turned out to not actually be a curse as the witch had intended. The ghosts (who have requested to instead be called "Spirits") turned out to be peaceful, and did not wish to terrorise the humans. While at first, the humans were sceptical and untrusting of the spirits' words, eventually, they decreed that the spirits meant no harm. Spirits were allowed to coexist with humans, and were granted rights that allowed them to live alongside humans. That fear, however, that distrust humans harboured towards their floaty, translucent counterparts, never went away. Spirits are still treated as second class citizens, as inherently evil because of their origins, as if they could suddenly flip a switch one day and use their powers to cause irreperable damage to humankind. This is the world that Olivia's story takes place in.

Olivia is a 16 year old girl, with a sharp tongue and quick wit. She's very standoffish and cold to her peers at school; it doesn't matter whether they're human or spirit, she doesn't feel that she is obligated to be nice to anyone. Well, everyone, except her best friend, Jackie (but he's not important right now I'll talk about him a bit later) and SOMEWHAT her sister Amber (she's not important right now either).

Anyways, one day at school, several Spirit students start acting... strange. Some foster parents of spirit children report their child's behaviour changing suddenly, becoming more aggressive and rude, while some bosses working with Spirits report their employees disobeying orders, and wrecking property. In a few days, every spirit in town is acting out, and causing havoc among the town. Smashing windows, attacking humans, pillaging houses, even robbing people in the streets! How is this happening, and who could be behind this?!

Well, a descendant of the witch from 200 years ago is the culprit! All those centuries ago, when the witch's curse had backfired and the spirits turned out to not be evil, the witch had scratched her head in confusion. "The spell should've worked, the spirits should turn evil once they have risen from the underworld into the human world, why aren't they acting hostile?" she thought. So, out of embarrassment and humiliation, the witch hid away for years, studying dark magic, and trying to figure out a way to turn the spirits evil. After she passed away from old age, her niece took after her, in an effort to please her aunt and carry on a bit of the family legacy. And then her daughter took after her. And the next, and the next, and the next, until present day, when 19 year old Morgan Deifilia Amethysteus finally cracks the code, and figures out a spell that will brainwash spirits and force them to listen to her every command.

For some reason, however, Olivia's friend, Jackie, is unaffected by the witch's spell, and together, they pack their bags full of "ghost busters style hunting equipment" and run around town taking down spirits, and "cleansing them" of the witch's curse. Olivia's sister, Amber, even joins in, and offers to be their get-around driver, accompanying them on their journey and helping save the spirits, too. Along the way, the trio meet other allies, and constantly encounter Morgan, who tries to fight and stop their efforts, constantly taunting them all the way.

And uhhh yeah that's all I have. I plan to show off the designs of, and introduce, other characters, as well as flesh out the lore, properly explain spirits abilities and powers, explain how the town functions, actually figure out a dang name for the story, and much more! So, let me know if you're interested and what you want me to talk about next!

#dop's original story #artists on tumblr #small artist #original character #oc #dop rants #dop art

[anosci]

(196-211 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15])

names and thoughts below cut

196/ ramone - Unreleased Works Part 1 (2001) The Fistful Of Dojo is some tight of-the-era dnb. dark and gloomy and kung fuey. SuperSIDekick is a mixed bag of style and timbre. standout: "Doj'omatic red". hip hop breaks with a touch of chip! "ScrewDriver" really neat spooky vibe!

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197/ (all mono211 singles, 2001) "starshipoetry" really capturing a cool crunchy sound "DDD" oh holy shit "connect" i HAVE TO YELL about how much i resonate with this sound "autumn week" this song is exactly 5 years ahead of its time "8-bitten break smitten" amiga squarepusher pastiche. slappy "this is over by inches" :') "my human side" md smps spotted. well used. "console-related depression ep" giving surprisingly warm sunshine vibes! "Where's My Parka? EP" absolutely VIBING with that melodica or w/e it is kinda surprised how many ppl are outshining basehead! he's been a longtime fav artist for me damnit!

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198/ (every mod from milk, 1998) liking the idm, skipping the dnb. "D.Exiguus was wrong" proper early-mid afx cutevibes! "Clouds II: Cumulus" cool flangedrum chillout :) "agrimilkture" squishy and harsh but not too much! "aggregate" insanely cool "non-sound file" sound design!

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199/ (every mod from milk, 1999) rly zooming into that idm! "Ameepa" i daresay…….. cute. "Childhood friend" rly neat djeridoo thing "kalx_" good shit! "la noche verde" decent hiphop plus some delightful bass textures "ilooklikeesasowhat?" the childlike dist synths win me over

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200/ (milk singles, 2000) the styles branch, merck vs tigerbeat. sadly i didnt dig the singles as much this year. hoping the gamut of albums is hiding the goods. "face on/take one" compared to squarepusher, and… yeah a little! it's really fun! "fingers" synths hit just right

---

201/ salice - Purple/green+blue EP (1999) absolutely delightful synth soundscapes! the glistening on "adv track"! fascinated by the autechre comparison for "denatured". it does sound like an early take at the LP5 era ae! "sun track"……. yeah this is all around good.

---

202/ ylikulju & kyllönen - yllinkyllin EP (1999) is this the "be ae" era of milk? im digging it! "lehtone" feels more comfortably 90s, idmustrial. "metsaserla" rly rly cool sinking sounds but THE STANDOUT BY A MILE is "twotwo". hella beats!!! holy shit!

---

203/ H.Kyllönen - ciproxin ep (1999) i have never heard a song that nostalgically evokes the ambiance of chilling at a lake dock more than "waterworks". "iteca liqer" being compared to EARLY afx feels apt. kinda neat! this entire release is ace! super good!

---

204/ K.Ylikulju - Clayderman LP (1999) "tak-ap" with a very specific indescribable feeling. personal highlight imo. laid back summer afternoon vibes in "fat paavo" are nice if a bit weirdly mixed. as a whole, this is kinda all over the place. im not vibing with it much…

---

205/ Tiger - Sirius ep (1999) astoundingly lush IT modules. each track feels like it could score something beautifully. sadly i dont care too much for it. that said, "arkaja" captured a nice floaty feeling that i enjoyed. highlight imo.

---

206/ ceniq - Gaylab (1999) a small feast of idm flavors! the original and the lackluster reconstruction are fighting for my fav spot and the "backmix" ver is just some good y2k lush ambiance. also: "tilt goddess" rmx is wild! sadly its also painful (thx for the 12khz tone…)

---

207/ 8bit Rockers - Arcade Hits (2000) kinda… moog attitude but a bit more modern? all over the place in quality, to my taste. "estee lauder" is just good idm? "monsters cave" is a nice low stakes beat. "underwater sequence" personal highlight honestly not dissimilar to joseph nothing

---

208/ DJ Fish Finger - Gone Fishin' (2001) honestly great beats but damnit those endings bug me. be a little more serious pls :( it kinda sounds like something from omelette records actually. proto omelette?

---

209/ Eprom - Syntheism (2023) instantly lush absolutely wild textures and soundscapes all around but also rhythms! specific standouts: "Motion Blur" has a wild ebb-and-flow feel! the stuttering in "X-Fade Strategy" holy shit

---

210/ Howie B - Down With The Dawn (2014) mostly this only has a few keepers for me: "Run Always" has a delightful chemical breaks feel. the title track is nice and zen. a standout. "Night Nice" hits the spot for me in a very specific retro way.

---

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#media thread

[praublem-child]

This is future me about two weeks after this. I don’t think there’s anything too triggering in here but I tagged a lot just to be on the safe side. I made this blog mainly to rant, but I also kinda wanted to document the shit I’ve been going through as it happens, so I didn’t want to leave this on private.

One of the medications I was on when I wrote this out was triggering pretty bad depressive episodes that I hadn’t experienced in a while, which also led to some dissociation/derealization (not entirely sure which one is right for this case, but I think it was both) that I ended up typing through in this.

It’s significantly more coherent than I felt like I was being at the time, but it does trail off in a few spots and seem a little sporadic. I don’t normally do much during these episodes, much less type out tumblr posts (you can see why when you look below at what was supposed to be a 2-3 paragraph post), so I’m not sure what else to do other than send it out into the world at this point.

I can’t decide if I’m disappointed in myself or proud of myself right now.

On one hand, I haven’t left my bed for anything other than the bathroom, I waited too long before caving and taking meds, I dissociated most of the day away, I’ve had a dangerously low amount of food, and I willingly triggered myself because I got invested in a fic with very clear trigger warnings.

On the other hand, I did eventually take the stupid pain meds, I made plans willingly for the rest of winter break, I didn’t have to be begged to get at least one of the nutrition shakes into me, I managed to take all of my normal meds, and I’m not isolating myself completely.

I think I’m teetering more towards proud, if only because if I felt like this two years ago it would have taken everything I had to hand over the pill bottles and ask for the sharp stuff to be hidden. Even if I had been directly handed my favorite food I wouldn’t have touched it, I wouldn’t have touched any of my medications that day, and I would have put my phone in dnd to ignore everyone.

Even being able to acknowledge this progress is a massive fucking deal for me. But. Progress doesn’t make living through these moments any easier. Surviving is easier now, but that’s all this is. Survival.

It takes three times as long to do things, I have even more trouble focusing, it takes an unreasonable amount of energy to do anything other than stare at a blank wall. I have no time reference at all. The clock read just after midnight when I started typing this and it’s reading just after two am now. I already don’t remember most of what I typed here because my brain just… isn’t. Grounding techniques don’t work when you drift back off halfway through. They don’t work when you don’t actually want to come back.

Somewhere distantly I know that I don’t like this feeling. That I’d be happier if I was grounded and distracting myself with stupid videos or something. But everything is buried under so much apathy that I don’t care if I’d be happier. And my thoughts are too floaty for me to focus on fixing it anyway.

I had an idea for this post. A point that I think I covered in the first few paragraphs.. but it’s gone now. This shit comes in waves. One second I’m mostly here and coherent, the next I’m gone again.

I don’t know how much of this makes sense. I don’t even think anyone would be interested in the half-connected thoughts that come with a dissociative episode, and I don’t know if this even reads differently than my other posts.

I hit enter every time I lost my train of thought, and this looks like a lot of enter buttons. My back hurts but I don’t have the energy to move to a more comfortable position.

I don’t think I should post this. The longer I type the less I think I should. But this might also be good. Someone somewhere must feel alone in this. I know social media makes me feel less alone. Even if it is just screaming into the void. Might also be good to show my therapist. I could always delete it in the morning.

I don’t feel real. I don’t think that’s normal, but I feel like I’m trapped inside an animatronic. My fingers are typing my eyes are moving, I know logically that I’m controlling my body, but it looks like I’m looking through a pair of binoculars with a weird film on them.

I’m gonna post this privately. Maybe I’ll make it public eventually. But I can’t do coherent trigger warnings right now. I don’t even remember picking up my phone to write this. I don’t remember what I wrote about. I know it’s about dissociating. But not a single part of me cares to try and make my memory work. I’ll remember tomorrow. I know I will. I never actually forget. But memories are so far away and need so much work to reach.

#depression #dissociation #derealization #depressive episode #major depressive disorder #dissociative episode #past suicidal thoughts #mentions of past suicide attempts #but vaguely

[chrisryanspeaks]

HEAR: Psych Rock | Levitation Room - “Heaven”

Los Angeles psych rock gurus Levitation Room announce their third studio album Strange Weather with the release of their new single “Heaven.” The album will arrive in its entirety on February 16, 2024, via ONErpm / The Reverberation Appreciation Society / Greenway Records - listen to the dreamy, psychedelic rock track below: Looking to “Heaven,” one of the most natural songs the band has ever written, the track goes down nice and easy like a romp through a winding wooded path. But halfway through, Levitation Room can’t help but infuse their signature grinding grooves, all while showing off their undeniable guitar chops – Stream. The band shares, “This song is an ode to love. Whether it’s a new love just beginning, or an old love between two people sustaining. The feeling of love can often feel like you’re floating around in heaven. You find home in someone’s eyes or voice; a partner that stands beside you and helps you navigate through the hardships and tumultuous landscapes of life.” They continue, “This song was intentionally created to make you feel like you’ve been enveloped by something sweet – the connection between two hearts and souls. It started out with a few chords from Gabriel's guitar in our studio. It right away caught our ears and we wrote the rest of the song on the spot. It was one of those songs that came very easily and organically. It almost wrote itself.” So far off of Strange Weather, Levitation Room has released the singles and videos for “Scene for an Exit” and “Cool It, Baby.” These releases marked an open-minded shift for the band, as they meticulously branched out from pure psych rock into all other facets of rock. The band’s return brought them local and international praise from Shindig! Magazine, Happy Mag, Grimy Goods, Atwood Magazine, Riff, and more. Some other recent highlights include a feature on MTV’s Spankin’ New and placements on Spotify’s undercurrents playlist and Apple Music’s New in Rock. On the touring front, this year has seen Levitation Room headline Thalia Hall Block Party in Chicago, as well as joining the lineups of Rainbow Rock, OffBeat Music Festival and Freakout. First breaking into the scene in 2015 with their beloved EP Minds of Our Own, Levitation Room have been a centerpiece of the LA psych rock scene ever since. The subsequent releases of their albums Ethos (2016) and Headspace (2019), paired with extensive touring and festival performances across North America and Europe, have won the band a far-reaching, fervent fanbase and millions of global streams to date. They released a few singles during the pandemic but have been heads down working on new music over the last few years, returning now with a meticulously crafted next iteration of Levitation Room. ABOUT LEVITATION ROOM East Los Angeles quartet Levitation Room’s floaty, cosmic songs are always a trip. Since forming nearly a decade ago, they’ve self-produced dizzying, otherworldly music that’s connected with fellow travelers in the hallucinogenic world of outré rock music. Led by singer and guitarist Julian Porte along with founding members Gabriel Fernandez (lead guitar) and Johnathan Martin (percussion), the band has enchanted live audiences at Desert Daze and on tour with like-minded groups Post Animal and Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. The band’s vivid sound has found them placed on popular playlists like Modern Psychedelia and the legendary superproducer’s Danger Mouse Jukebox. Their 2015 debut, “Friends,” has surpassed 20 million streams. Joined by new member Kevin Perez (bass) in 2021, Levitation Room have continued to expand their colorful, unearthly sound, a process that has culminated with the upcoming vibrant new album Strange Weather. Collaborating with former Brian Jonestown Massacre keyboardist Rob Campanella, Jason Kick (Mild High Club), and Black Crowes’ Joel Robinow, Levitation Room take a new step in their story and vision with this album. The record’s lyrical narratives—about love in the park, life in the city, and the fact that “The world today is such an illusion”—are appropriately steeped in ’60s sonics and a dreamy, lo-fi atmosphere. It’s spacey, celestial guitar music for escaping into, and “it feels just like heaven.” Join Levitation Room on their new voyage toward Strange Weather on February 16, 2024. Read the full article

[haorev]

I may have bought Minecraft for my computer. I also am reminded harshly every time I open it that I do in fact have a texture pack going on my Switch (it’s the free updated texture beta pack in the marketplace, I don’t know how to get in on Java, tho I could just actually go find texture packs or shaders now so…)

It’s really just the look of ores that is jarring but like it’s fine

I like having an off hand that is functional for more than just holding maps and shields. Love being able to place torches with it.

Don’t like that flying in creative mode is so floaty. That’s not fun.

I did have to redo the keybinds for the mouse. On Switch, break blocks/attack is ZR and place blocks/use is ZL so it makes more sense for my brain for them to be right click and left click respectively. The mouse wheel scroll through the hot bar is gonna take some getting used to, as well as the number keys. I love the middle mouse button pick-block thing in creative. I’ve seen it used by a few YouTubers and I was like how do I do that? I don’t think you can do it on the Switch.

I’m horribly bad at WASD controls, but that’s honestly just a universal for me. Part of why Binding of Isaac is so rough for me (besides just being bad at it) is because of WASD (and the arrow keys) (and I’m bad at it). I just really prefer the two analog sticks on my switch for move/camera. I’m getting better tho. As long as my cursor doesn’t glitch and stay on screen we’re fine.

I found out that if I don’t put it in full screen my computer doesn’t overheat as fast (or at all really). Learned this after my entire computer froze while I was playing and also screen recording (lost the screen record btw which was fine I didn’t like how it was going anyway). Don’t know what this means other than I play on a five year old MacBook Air, not known for being particularly beefy machines.

I like that the pause screen actually pauses. It doesn’t always on my switch. I got in the habit of just turning the switch off when I have to go away for a sec.

I love that I can make an actual custom skin and not really have to worry about the game resetting it randomly (a problem I have on my Switch). The skin I made is so cute. It’s got teal hair and horns and overalls and cute little black and purple markings on one arm. It’s got purple eyes! Really said: “what would make teenage me happy? And went with it.

(I wanna be clear that I love playing Minecraft on my Switch. It was the first place I ever played it, I love the controls, I love Bedrock edition even if it is a little funky sometimes. There’s just some things I’m seeing with Java that I really like also.)

Oh and my favorite: single biome worlds. I forgot that was a thing in Java Edition, and I am so pumped. I don’t like doing super hard challenges (I will probably never play a Hardcore game; I rarely play on Normal difficult as it is), but the challenge of “you have one biome and you have to make it work” is very very tasty.

So a very lovely Rosh Hashanah gift to me, and a good way of making myself feel a little better after one of our cats died this week.

(Oh and is Keep Inventory not considered a cheat in Java? I made a peaceful world with it and was able to do that while also keeping “allow cheats” set to off. If so, this is very good news bc it is a cheat on Bedrock and I have no sense of direction and if I die without keeping my inventory I will have to start from scratch minus whatever I have at my home.)

#Minecraft #java edition minecraft #bedrock edition Minecraft #pet death mention #it happened Wednesday and I’m more settled now #I was able to say goodbye to him Thursday morning and that was a bit of closure I needed

[electricbluebutterflies]

Jess/Leto + "You haven't been sick like this in a long time."

Look y’all I wrote modern-AU domestic fluff. Would be equivalent of late-era but obviously this version of them is not Inherently Tragic soooo. I am writing the migraine + bad-brain combo platter from my own experiences + some horror stories from one of my best friends // honestly it’s hard to woof up the medical angle on something that varied but apologies if I somehow did. PG-ish and late queued crosspost // also on ao3

Jessica doesn’t want to move.

She could, objectively, if she pushed herself. She could do a lot of things if she focused her determination. But she feels like hell, the combination of mental and physical unpleasantness that hits just often enough to identify as such. She’ll be fine in a day or two, probably. She’s always fine. Right now she is not fine.

Miserable as she is – at the very least this is one of the top ten worst headaches she’s ever had, and the dangerous thoughts in her mind need to stop, and she might’ve pulled a muscle she didn’t even know she had in her leg and that usually implies things that make for awkward mornings – she’s at least aware this is decent timing. She can hibernate for the weekend and her domestic life will probably not fall apart, and she can be lucid enough to suggest that today would be a good day for her husband to take their son on some kind of adventure that will keep the both of them out of her hair for long enough for her to start to feel better, and-

Oh, even in this state she’s overthinking, half-awake and uninclined to leave the bed and still running every possible scenario because this is how she pretends she has control.

She can at least capably prioritize. Intrusive thoughts are… not fun, but can be made into background noise and as long as she knows they’re not real they’ll blow over soon enough. The pain in her leg probably has an explanation in the form of a few bruises she’ll find on her husband’s body later, and she could move if she wanted to, she reminds herself, she’s not damaged enough there to ruin her day, rest will solve that one. The absolute horror-show of a migraine, enough to make her bury her face in her pillow…

It's Saturday, she reminds herself. She doesn’t have to be a person today regardless of her physical state, the body next to hers is still asleep, and an unsupervised twelve-year-old can only do so much damage to the house. Until given reason to change her plans, she’s hibernating.

She doesn’t manage to fall back asleep, but she’s pleasantly floaty when she feels a hand on her shoulder and a kiss on the side of her head. Normally she would respond in kind; today she makes a noise she intends as a growl but comes out far too whimpery to be anything but helpless.

“Don’t move me,” she mutters, burrowing her face further into the pillow. “No.”

They have routines for the normal kinds of bad days, the ones every few months when her brain stops working and she needs a level of attention and care she would push away if she had the energy to even think about it. This is… clearly not one of those, she hopes. There are benefits to long-term relationships, to having fifteen years of history with the person in closest proximity to one’s complications. Bad brain days make her unusually tactile; migraine days, more rare and more distressing for it, make her unusually distant. Right now the idea of affection is too much; any manifestation of it would be-

“You haven’t been sick like this in a long time,” her husband points out, and gods help him that man has never seen a situation he didn’t think he could talk his way out of and normally that makes her all warm but-

“You’re too loud,” she hisses, even though he really isn’t by normal standards. “And if you even think about turning on that light…”

“Migraine.”

Oh, if she felt like turning her head to roll her eyes…

“It’ll blow over. I just need to rest.” Something she is notoriously terrible at doing, but if her body isn’t giving her a choice then who the hell is she to question that, to-

“You need anything?”

“Keep the door closed? Maybe go out for a bit?”

“With you like this? Not happening.”

“You don’t need to-“

She doesn’t need to be able to see him to envision the body language, the almost-sigh of why is this one of their permanent fights. They know each other too well, they both know that in situations like this he will always offer some kind of care and she will always find a way to decline it. She feels least fragile when she appears otherwise, when she is reminded of how strong she once had to be and-

“Getting something out of the cabinet for you isn’t exactly running a marathon, love.”

“I’ll say if… I know you’ll check on me hourly at least…”

“This doesn’t happen to you.”

“Well aware,” she hisses.

The weight on the bed changes, and she feels another blanket draped up to her neck. She knows how this day will actually go – she’ll know she’s feeling better when she’s actually able to push him away, and until then she’ll allow whatever happens, when she’s a little more lucid and he inevitably makes the wrong kind of tea she’ll still drink it, she’ll still-

She’s lucky, really. Even when she feels like roadkill she’s absolutely sure she is loved.

“If you need anything…”

“I can take care of myself,” she counters, turning her head for a moment to kiss his hand. “I just don’t have to.”

She’ll make her peace with that later. When she’s more able to. When she’s done hibernating. She’ll make time.

#ebf writes fic #leto x jessica #queue

[gomezcullen8]

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[muffindaddystyles]

Soft dom harry makes subby reader upset subspace?

MEANIE ANGRY H :D BUCKLE UP FELLAS

Y/N's day is been shitty so far. It started with an ache in her lower abdomen from Harry’s morning stiffy bulging against her asscheeks fattening everytime he snuggled into her to hoard her warmth and blankies and to stuff his face in her neck with incoherent blabbering.

She wanted to wake him up with her hand, mouth, hole— anything around his cock and to please him and dull the burny feeling in her tummy -- but -- she had an important workshop at UNI that was must needed to be attended.

The time she managed to knock herself out of her needy and lusty headspace, she was getting late and whirling around the room and closest like a thunderstorm -- burying a snoring Harry under the heaps of clothes and littering the floor with her shoes collection, the kitchen got treated much more worst with maids being not around (she’s used to Harry waking up earlier than her and making her a full course brekkie) after making a laughable ruckus of cabinets all she stuffed her mouth with was a chocolate protein bar.

The stars were still not in her favour. She was grabbing onto her hair until far when she missed the bus (she usually don’t take buses, Harry makes sure the driver drop her off safe and secure) and it started raining leaving Y/N with nothing but a bare head to take all of it as she already left the bus shelter to stop a taxi.

If all of that wasn’t much of a tragedy and humiliating, Y/N slipped the moment she stepped out of the vehicle and on the slippery curbs of the building, she saw her life flashing right infront of her eyes as the papers tucked in her armpit fled everywhere and landed on the rainy mud sadistically along her. It gave her a serious hit in her ankle and completely yanked her hip, still being a stubborn-head she picked herself and went inside despite how many glares the cleaning staff threw her way for bringing the dirt with her feed all over the shiny floors.

She felt bad.

Stupidly bad.

Her workshop teachers were kind enough to accept her late arrival, but her designs for fall got rejected and they’d have been a huge milestone for her to get her dream internship.

Y/N felt awfully, teeny, pathetic and little while slumping into the corner of the bus and holding her breath to refrain from crying these little liquidy bitches out of her eyes.

Reaching back home she was met with pure chaos, bumping into petrified and agitated employs from Harry’s company scurrying out of their main foyer and she could persist but to ask what happened only to be informed in stammers that the staff messed up big and caused a loss of million dollars— making Harry terribly mad and fire people left and right.

It wasn’t a joke at all.

Because once, she steps inside, bag falling from her shoulder as she sighs in exhaustion feeling her muscles stiffening everywhere but one particular spot's hurting wrenchingly— her foggy mind couldn’t figure it out yet. She peeks into Harry’s home office to be met by a very annoyed, aggrieved, furious Harry pacing in his office all whilst with a phone against his ear shouting at someone who was destined to be humiliated today just like her and she pouts gingerly seeing his features skewered tightly into displeasure, the vein that curves along his temple prominent with blood pumping erratically in his body.

His head snaps up at the door’s creak and albeit his eyes softens a little, the kink of brows and the scowl on his lips is still there and he watches her paddle towards him carefully knowing anything at the moment would burst his chimneys out and she wants to be good for her daddy.

“Hi.” She speaks timidly, pout getting more rusty when the greetings not returned and instead he keeps all of his attention on the phone keeping a loose arm around her.

She grumbles, when he gestures down at her to give him a sec and untangles himself from her walking away and huffing and puffing into the phone.

How could he!

She feels so denied and rejected and kicked like it’s done to those affection starved lil puppies.

Her clingy tendencies flying high drunk and wooly. The needy beastie inside her wanting nothing more than take a bath where Harry could cream her back in her favourite berry bubbles, massaging her head and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, then lots and lots of cuddles, maybe he'll be generous enough and let her keep him snug inside her while they watch movie because she had such an awful day.

But, No! He's trying to escape free from her because she’s such a burden for him now.

Her eyes turns glassy, her shoulders slumping sadly and out of nowhere she’s feeling cold and barren as Harry’s voice becomes a wafting fume for her— an indication she has gone under too much.

“Daddy . . .” She stomps behind him, circling his footsteps like a whiny puppy and grapples at his dress shirt gasping sullenly when he swats her dainty hands away and glares down at her in dominance, his tone harsh as he blocks the receiver with his palm and mouths at her with a huff, “Stop being needy fo’ once. I’ve clearly some important issues to care for, Y/N.” Poor Y/N's deathly grip on his shirt loosens sorrowfully and her chin wobbles as she nodded still wanting to be good for him and if it wasn’t enough to give her the biggest heartbreak of the year— he even rolled his eyes at her too grumping under his breath about something how he turned her into a spoiled brat himself.

“Okie. . .” Her voice strangled and small. She shrinks into herself but wasn’t paid any heed from Harry and without another word she leaves him as to be it.

Having a huge breakdown in her room didn’t help at all. A painful headache hitting her like a train as she clumsily strips down, wearing one of his t-shirt heavily drenched in his scent he keeps for her under her pillow anytime she needs it and hides under the blankets with tears still running down her swollen cheeks— slipping into a light slumber from all of weariness and crying.

Once the smoke cleared from Harry’s mind and his capabilities of rational thinking coming back to him, he was reminded of how he denied his baby of his littlest of affection and tenderness when she clearly looked so glum and sad and upset.

He wanted to whip himself in head.

He’s such a twat that he let work come between them.

He curses himself. Making a sprint to his bedroom, knowing he’d find her none other than there and he was right puffing out a disheartened sigh when his eyes falls over his princess buried under all of these layers of blankets, he crawls up towards her carefully not to startle her awake.

Grunting at himself when he finds she’s been crying, he strokes a thumb up her blushy cheeks and her wet lashes, kissing her puffy eyelids and her little sad unhappy pout away.

He frowns. Feeling her feverish and flushed under his hand, “Hey puppy . . .” He thumbs down her throat getting a little fretful when she doesn’t stirs, however she’s such a squirmy little one and he moves the blankets away to let her body cool itself smiling proudly at his shirt swallowing her whole is when she snuggled herself more into her stuffie letting the shirt ride up her thighs and hips exposing a ghastly bruise of red and purples and he frowns not remembering it being there before.

Now. He feels shittier. Wanting to jump of the cliff for being a shitty sadist boyfriend to his only beloved.

“No!” Y/N whimpers loudly, squirming away from his touch as he examines her gently and it sent shockwaves to each of her tissues and lions causing her an undeniable pain.

“Puppy, shh, shh. ‘s just me, making sure if y'okay.” He scrambles closer to her towering her to cradle her face and kiss the tip of her nose—- his face falls drastically and his heart cracks miserly when Y/N pushes him away with a sorrowful mumble not even letting him wipe the drool away from the corner of her mouth as he usually does.

“’M okay . . .” She tries to knuckle the sleepiness away with shivery hands, “No you’re not —...” He’s cut off by her angry pout and her silly efforts to keep as much distance between them as possible, “I don’t need, Daddy . . ‘m big and I could take care of me self.” At her puny waver realization dawns upon Harry and his brows shoots up to his hairline feeling nauseous and terrible for not taking care of his babylove earlier.

He’d have never let her be away from him if he knew she was in her subspace.

“Y/N baby . . . I didn’t mean it, darling —--...” With gentleness he tries to approach her but she wraps her arms around her petite figure in a protective manner, haziness taking best of her and Harry’s chest suffocates into itself, being a dom it’s your responsibility to make your subby feel protected, loved and happy and he even failed at that.

He quickly cups both of her hot cheeks in his nippy palms when she hiccups sadly, a sob threatening to slip out, “Yes you did! You meant it. Said you spoiled me, I don’t want your money, promise! I just want you and y'shooed me away saying Y/N’s too needy . . .” Harry flinches at her words. He never even spared a thought to this negativity that she chooses to be with him for his money because he knows out of all the people she’s the only one who loves him out of the boundaries of status and money.

He realises how stabbing they'd have been to her when she was so sensitive and floaty wanting nothing more, just him.

How deep she has gone if she’s taking her own name in third person.

“’M sorry baby. So sorry. Swear on myself, didn’t mean to hurt my baby, knows tha’ work shouldn’t be an excuse t’ make y'feel unloved—- but those bastards got a tick outta me.” He rambles on frantically. Afraid she’ll think he’s lying and would finally make up her mind to leave him.

“You didn’t?” She asks with so much innocence Harry nearly cries out, “’Course I didn’t! How could I? You could never be needy, Bab. I love you so much and you’re my whole word, forgive me please?”

“You’re forgiven,” She let a small smile flutter up her features, a tinge of gleam in her previous dull eyes brightening the whole room and Harry immediately bunches her up in his lap.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks her, not sure if she still needs space from him and would rather be better without him but she bobs her head shyly and he chuckles softly before touching their lips together into a tender loving kiss and brushes their noses up and down murmuring sweetly coy to her.

“Now, could y'tell daddy how y'got this bruise baby? How did ya get hurt?” He coos, brushing her sweaty hair back and rubs her sweet gland behind her ear delicately, “Oh yeah . . . this, was raining and slipped.” She murmurs, hissing a gasp jolting away when Harry glides his fingers gently down her hip bone and fresh tears springs in her eyes as she buries herself in his chest, “Daddy hurts. . .” . “Oh babypie. Daddy’s g'na take care of his love.” He lays her down gently kissing her forehead when she whines for him to keep on holding her, “’M right here darling. G'na prep us a bath, make my baby alright.” Saying this he quickly disappears inside the washroom and next their room’s sursuring with marble tub filling with warm water, Harry throws in her favourite pink coloured bath bombs and rose essences and throws their towels in the warmer coming back with her as he left her to be, he has decided he’s gonna love on her whole night, “My baby’s the best, ain’t she? She’s my bestest girl.” He coos down at her sweetly and slides his forearms under her knees and back picking her up carefully and brings her to his chest securely.

She closes her eyes, biting down a whimper when Harry dips them in the water some it sloshing down the edges of bathtub and it envelopes them and gives a stingy feeling to her bruise before soothing it down.

He rubs her arms, and circles smoothing patterns on her tummy and kisses her a gallons as she melts in his embrace and he let’s her sink into him more, nibbling and sponging wet ticklish kisses on her neck making her purr and become a puddle of softness in his hold while she takes her time to mumble all the bad events that happened to her and he felt so guilty of not asking her how she’s and how her day went when she came to him, in need of some of his lovin.

“I love you so much, bab.” He suckles her earlobe, toying and plucking her bottom plush lip, “Was prick to me love —.. you deserve all my lovin,” He noses at her jaw, not forgetting it to mark it with his pecks and sloppy bites.

“’S okay daddy, y'had a bad day too.” He’s grateful to have her in his life. She cares about him, maybe more than he does for her and he feels himself lucky for it.

“You want me to help you relax?”

“Can I have you?” Her tone bashfully desperate and coy, Harry meanders their fingers together and kisses her knuckles softly.

Considering her wound still being sore and pulp, having sex would be painful for her and she might not grasp it in her hazy mind but Harry doesn’t want to hurt at all.

He plants a little noisy smooch to her shoulder when she nods, she mews and purrs when Harry glides his palm all the way down her body and cups her pussy digging his palm into her mound and coats his digits with her arousal dipping the pads of his fingers into her entrance, “All this wet f'me?” Palming her tits while whispering sweet nothings into her ear when she gasps and closes up on Harry scratching nails into his bended knees.

“Shh, shh puppy, jus' relax hmm? Feel yourself.” With sputtery inhales she does as he says, soon two of his fingers slips inside her and he strokes her pussy and pulls them out making her all whiny and pushes them back with a squelching noise, fucking her with it smiling and stopping when her thighs parts falls again his’s completely.

“Daddy!” She writhes and whines, trembly hands trying to bring Harry fingers back to her pulsating wetness, “You’re the cutest.” He smiles against her lips giving her cheeks several squishes and pats her head loving to see his adorable princess all flustery for him.

On her demands. He slicks his fingers back inside her and caresses the insides of her thighs while she pants and sinks onto his knuckles blabbering out daddydaddydaddy weepily.

“Cum fo’ me, puppy. Feels good? Yeah? My baby feels nice?” He rasps in her mouth, curving and petting the soft spot inside her pussy and sucks onto her upper lip when she moans and mewls loudly gushing all over his finger and he keeps on fucking her till she’s all sleepy and balmy against his chest.

Harry coaxes her tenderly, smoothing his hands all over her twitchy spots and patches sloppy kisses all over her face that makes her all giggly and shy—- the amount of endorphins spiking high in her system.

“Love you so much, daddy.” She mushes puckering her lips into his throat.

“Love you too, pup.”

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