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mclqren · 26 days

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STREAMER ★ LN4

PAIRING ✦ lando norris x fem!streamer!reader

SUMMARY ✦ you are known for your twitch streams, and your friend sets you up with an f1 driver, almost breaking the internet in the process [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader streams on twitch. i'm so sorry i know absolutely nothing about twitch or streaming, so this may be absolute crap but please bare with me! the fc i've used is tinakitten, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and 881,221 others

tagged yourbsf

yourusername this weekend's been kindaaa crazy 😍 streaming tonight at 7, be there or be square!!

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user1 HOW IS IT POSSIBLY TO BE THIS PERFECTTT!!

user2 oh to live the y/n life.

yourbsf my best frienddd 😘😘

yourusername foreverrrr!! 💘💘

maxfewtrell 🔥🔥

landonorris 🔥🔥🔥🔥

maxfewtrell 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

yourusername alright guys slow your roll...

maxfewtrell have to make it clear that you're MY BEST FRIEND.

landonorris what so am i nothing to you anymore maxie??? 😔

user3 okay but lando AND max in her comments?? huh??

user4 her and max have been friends for agesss but i had no clue that she knew lando!

user5 she mentioned it on one of her streams at some point, but not recently!

( caption: who are you guys on about? oh, lando? yeah, we met through max on a stream like last year and we're good friends now. he's so fucking funny, it's crazy. )

liked by yourusername, user6, and 181,499 others

ynfanss y/n speaking about lando norris on her stream last night!! she says they're simply good friends and nothing more than that, and that they met through max last year & have hung out since! what do you guys think? 👀💗

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user6 sooo...they're dating??

user7 MY TWO WORLDS TOGETHER I LOVE

user8 the way they're actually friends is something i actually needed so bad in my life

user9 maybe they're just friends and not dating though??

user10 it's funnier to be delusional

yourusername guys we're just friends!! some of you are having me wheezing over here😭😭

user11 heard it from the source guys🫡

user12 hmm idkk...still don't buy it!

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and 1,003,431 others

tagged landonorris, maxfewtrell, pietra.pilao +

yourusername so...how tf did i get here then? 🤷‍♀️❄️

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user15 Y/N HANGING OUT W QUADRANT??

user16 THIS CANNOT BE REAL IM SCREAMING RN.

user17 okay but HOW DO YOU LOOK SO PERFECT??

user18 serving looks ALWAYSSS

pietra.pilao my entire hearttt 💗

yourusername only reason i survived this trip 🤷‍♀️💘

maxfewtrell so what am i then??

yourusername trash 🚮

landonorris skiing natural 🤣🤣

yourusername AS IF YOU WERE ANY BETTER.

user19 okay but the banter she has w all of them?? esp lando.

user20 stop it's like she's always hung out w them

liked by yourusername, maxfewtrell, and 3 others

tagged yourusername, maxfewtrell

lando.jpg just an intermission ⛷️

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user21 OKAYY MR NORRIS BACK W THE POSE

user22 HIS GO TO FR

user23 his hair in the third pic oh my

user24 frothing at the mouth 🔥

user25 OKAY BUT Y/N?? HOW IS SHE SO GORGEOUS

user26 Y/N MAKING HER LANDO.JPG DEBUT I SEEEE

maxfewtrell the picture of me...

lando.jpg isn't it gorgeous!

yourusername THE SLIP OF MAX IS TAKING ME OUTTT

maxfewtrell why are my two best friends ganging up on me...

lando.jpg it's a rite of passage

liked by user27, user28, and 158,910 others

ynfanss y/n streaming last night!! it was just a catch up stream today, but she spoke about her ski trip with lando norris & the rest of quadrant, and answered a couple of questions about their friendship!

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user27 SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT SHE ANSWERED WHEN ASKED ABOUT THEIR FRIENDSHIP

user28 she didn't really answer it PROPERLY, she just kept giggling and saying they were just very good friends

user29 did yall see her face light up when lando messaged her halfway through the stream though...it was sooo cute.

user30 i am actually her biggest fan no joke i love her

user31 so her and lando aren't dating??

user32 not as far as im aware, but fans think they might be!

liked by landonorris, yourbsf, and 798,182 others

yourusername going flower crazy 💐

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user37 tell me what flowers you like rn im off to buy you some to win ur hand in marriage 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

user38 SOOO REAL FOR THIS

yourbsf STUNNER 💗

yourusername i love youuuu!!💘

user39 WOWEEEE

user40 y/n in her active era??

user41 we love to see it!

landonorris photo credits?? ☹️☹️

yourusername not required after you refused to buy me flowers 😇

landonorris at that price i don't think so??

yourusername no flowers = no credits, sorry norris!

maxfewtrell you guys hanging out without me...mission accomplished!

user42 what does max know...

liked by yourusername, maxfewtrell, and 1,491,887 others

tagged yourusername

landonorris got MY GIRLFRIEND those flowers in the end 💐😇

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user46 LANDO NORRIS YOU BETTER NOT BE JOKING RIGHT NOW.

user47 STOPP I LOVE THIS

user48 Y/N AND HER FLOWERS AWWW

user49 THE HARD LAUNCH IS HARD LAUNCHINGGG

yourusername thanks for the flowers FINALLY

landonorris my pleasure 😘

user50 they make me crazy

yourusername the third pic of me hello?

landonorris my favourite 🔥

yourusername favorite* my god you're so british

maxfewtrell im so proud right now

user51 as you should be

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and 1,022,901 others

tagged landonorris

yourusername thanks again for introducing us to each other, max!! turns out getting a boyfriend isn't so difficult when your friend loves to meddle 🤷‍♀️💘

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user52 THE CAPTION LMAOO

user53 WE ALL KNEW MAX WAS BEHIND IT.

user54 I LOVE THEMMMM

user55 FINALLYYY OMD

pietra.pilao cuties!! 😘

yourusername i love youuu!! double dates time!

user56 I CANT WAIT FOR THIS.

landnorris oh wow did you have to bait me out w that last one

yourusername deserved!! just know that it comes from a place of love 💘

maxfewtrell i feel like a proud mother right now 😊😊

yourusername thanks again mom!! 😘

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#f1 x reader #f1 #f1 smau #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #requests #f1 imagines #f1 x you #formula 1 #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris #lando norris x female reader #formula one x y/n #mclqren #formula one x you #f1 x female reader

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diorthiya · 11 months

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS #3

• sun conjuct moon synastry is so overrated imo

• i know everyone and their mother says this but men that have taurus mercury have the SEXIEST voices ever. it’s like deep and comforting

• i feel like the house where your lilith is placed matters more than the sign itself

• it feels so liberating going from 12th house transits to 1rst house ones

• the sassy man award goes to men with more than 1 scorpio placement 😭😭 (especially mars and venus)

• venus square saturn is THE milf/dilf placement

• scorpio moons love hot showers (and orgasms🤭)

• virgo moons are quite the workaholics

• taurus risings are the sweetest people ever

• im always going through a 5th house transit when something exciting happens in my love life .

• natives with neptune in the 10th house tend to be an icon/star

• i’ve never met a loyal taurus venus person . they always got hoes 😀 but they’re possessive over all of them 💀

• this is just a theory but i think that your sun sign traits fully gets shown when you’re with someone that has their personal placements in your 8th house

• women with libra sun conjunct venus have low standards when choosing a partner. please stand up😔

• gemini placements attracting sagittarius placements is a never ending saga (and vice versa) but i love to see it

• men with aquarius venus are so fashionable

(this is purely based on MY observations and it doesn’t mean that it applies to YOU)

#aries #astro observations #astrology #cancer #capricorn #gemini #astro placements #aquarius #leo #horoscope #taurus #virgo #libra #astro posts #astro natal #astro notes #scorpio #sagittarius #pisces

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citieskyes · 7 months

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astrology observations ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

💌 The best synastry placement I’ve experienced is Venus conjunct Mars. It’s so whew 🥵

💌 Virgo mars is a placement that comes out of the shadows. They don’t always get angry, but when they are, they’re prepared with receipts.

💌 Moon square Uranus can cause the individual to act out erratically or unpredictably. This makes them prone to explosive emotions.

💌 Pluto in the 11th can attract a cult like following.

💌 Cancer and Scorpio men are that “gym bro” stereotype. Enough said.

💌 I’ve never met an ugly Aries woman. Or man for that matter. What is y’all’s secret 😔

💌 Chiron in the 1st may have had a painful childhood in which their environment felt like it was stifling or restrictive. They were never allowed to reach for the stars and this is why they grow up to feel incompetent as adults.

💌 Scorpio moons can have a transformative relationship with their mother. I’ve seen people say this placement means you won’t get along with your mother but that’s not always true. For example, Kylie Jenner is her mothers favourite child and she’s a Scorpio moon. It really depends on aspects and houses.

💌 Pluto in the 5th indicates each of your relationships offers your a bond that changes the trajectory of your life.

💌 Mars in the 7th house can indicate conflict can happen in personal or business relationships.

I do $10-15 birth chart readings so dm if you want yours done 🫶🏼

#astrology #astrology observations #astrology content #astro posts #astro notes #virgo mars #scorpio #cancer

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number1jeonginstan · 6 months

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Heyyy!!! I just wanted to ask if u could write this very interesting idea of mine. Chan making you roll a dice and what number you roll, is the amount of thrust you take. But you keep calling him daddy and he can't hold back anymore so he starts pounding u like a pup in the heat. NO PRESSURE totally fine if you don't feel comfortable writing this. But just thoughts. Have a nice day/night!💗

A/N: YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I WAS TO WRITE THIS. Like I wanted to write it as soon as I got this, but I got really sick so writing has been on the back burner, but I hope I did your ask justice with my writing. ALSO, my mentions are still open y'all so....

wc: 1.2k (not enough in my opinion 😔)

warnings: 18+ only, minors do not interact, unprotected sex, afab!reader, reader is called slut, daddy kink (obvi), some fluff as well because I love fluff

It was the first day Chan had off in ages. It was the afternoon and you were snuggled up on his bed, laying on top of him, head on his chest watching a movie. “All I’m saying is Andrew Garfield is hot.” You said with a shrug, eating another piece of popcorn. Chan was above you rolling his eyes.

“You think everyone is hot,” he said stealing a sip of your drink. You lift your head from his chest looking up at him, “You can’t possibly deny it, look at him.”

“I never thought you had a thing for skinny white guys, maybe I should stop going to the gym?” before he could tease you even more you quickly shouted out a “No!”

“If you stop going to the gym, it better be for yourself, you know I love you no matter what,” you said giving him a big hug. He kissed your forehead as you both fell back into a comfortable silence.

An hour had passed and you both finally finished the movie. You got up from the bed, stretching your body since you were both lying down on the bed. Chan was still on the bed, stretched out like a starfish. “What should we do next? Do you want to play a board game?” you asked trying to put all the dishes you guys ate from earlier away.

“Yeah we can do that, I think it would be fun,” you said whilst pulling out Monopoly from the stack of board games you both had accumulated over the last two years of Friday game nights with the rest of the members.

“If you get park place again, I will never talk to you again.”

“Chan stop being such a baby,” you said while rolling your eyes. “You love it though,” he said whilst pouting, placing a kiss on your cheek.

You both finally got into the groove of playing the game, giggling at each other throughout it. “Hey! You are cheating, you can’t steal money from the bank.” Chan said swatting your hand away from the pile of money lying on his bed. “Oh come on,” you groaned, “I purposely gave you Park Place this time.”

“What! I won that place fair and square.” he looked at you with a confused face. “You keep telling yourself that Channie,” you said patting his cheek.

“Oh, you wanna play that game?” he said while dragging you on top of his lap messing up the game along the way. “I was about to win” you whined. “Were you, were you really?” he said while kissing your lips.

“Yes!” you said while kissing him back. “If you want to play a game, I have a great one for us to play,” he said with his signature smirk. “Mhm, and what would that be?”

“We still have this die,” he said while rolling it in his hands, “let’s have some fun with it.”

“What do you have in mind” you asked looking up to him, still on his lap. “Why don’t we play a game? You roll the dice two times, and I multiply whatever it is.”

“Okay?” you asked a bit confused. “Sweetheart, you didn’t let me finish. Whatever that number is, is the number of times I’ll thrust into you.” He said with a coy smile, “Don’t you think that will be fun baby?”

You hesitantly agreed, thinking that, with luck by your side, you would roll all 5’s and 6’s, but you were so wrong.

“Please Channie, I just need you to fuck me” you pleaded. You were underneath him, his cock rutting in and out of you to whatever you rolled the dice to. “Please, I need you in me,” you whined.

“But I’m already in you unless you want me to stop?” he said while slowly slipping out of you. “Wait!” you stopped him and he stilled in you. You quickly rolled the dice twice, not wanting him to stop. “You rolled three twice, so that means 9 thrusts doesn’t it? Should we make the best of it sweetheart?” he said whilst rubbing your clit.

You just nodded, wanting to feel him inside of you. He slowly thrust inside of you, wanting you to feel every inch of his cock, every vein as your pussy clenched around him. “You are such a good girl, taking my cock so well.”

His words made you clench around him, moaning at the way he was hitting so deep inside of you. You could cum with just his cock inside of you, the stretch being so big that he had to always prep you so well, just to take it. But him fucking you so sensually and slowly was getting you nowhere.

“I need more” you moaned, feeling him particularly deep inside of you. “Awe, is my cock not enough? Do you need to get fucked like a slut? I don’t think I can do that baby, you gotta take it like a good girl. Maybe roll higher next time and I can fuck you faster.”

It was torture and he knew it, you were squirming underneath him. “Roll again,” he said while kissing your forehead and you did “6 and 6 this time sweetheart, guess I’m going a bit faster.”

He began pounding into you and you couldn’t control yourself “Fuck daddy, it feels so good.” You didn’t mean to say that, you had never called him daddy before and you had no idea how he would react, before you could even apologize, he began pounding into you.

“Fuck baby, you like that? Do you need daddy to fuck you til you forget your own name?” you just moaned, he was fucking you so good your tongue was loling out to the side. “Come on baby, answer daddy. Do you like my cock fucking into you like the little slut you are?”

“Yes daddy, so good daddy, I’m gonna cum” you said as he began circling your clit simultaneously. You couldn’t control yourself, he was pounding into you so well

“Fuck baby, be a good girl and cum for me, cum on daddy’s cock okay. You can do that for daddy right baby?” you just nodded, your walls squeezing him tighter as he started thrusting inside of you harder. “Will be a good girl for daddy, gonna cum on his cock” you hiccuped as you finally felt that strand in your stomach snap.

You were cumming all over his cock as he continued to rut inside of you. “Where do you want me to cum baby? Where do you want daddy to cum?”

“Inside of me please” you whimpered and he started pounding into you. “Fuck want daddy’s cum don’t you baby? Want daddy to fill you up.”

“Fuck” he groaned as he stilled inside of you painting your walls with his hot cum. He laid next to you, still inside. “Where did the daddy come from baby?” he asked kissing your forehead. “I have no idea, but I’m glad I did because I think that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you said with a giggle.

#skz #stray kids #skz smut #skz x reader #straykids x reader #straykids smut #bangchan #ju <3 answers #ju<3writes #bangchan smut #bang chan #bang chan x reader #bangchan x reader #bang chan smut #chan x reader #chan smut #chan skz #ju <3 writes

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ghouljams · 2 months

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Regency soap is a fucknasty bodice ripper, pulling his mean ol darling aside to fuck some manners back into her and make her walk back into the party with his cum dripping out of her. Her pretty dress is all ruffled and her hair is a little mussed and he just watches with a shiteating grin as she tries to compose herself and make it look like she didnt just get her brain fucked out😔

-maus🐭

I love a good bodice ripper tbh, and that is the genre that Regency Soap has landed himself squarely in. Which is so good for me. I mean, so so good. God I actually have two ideas for fic, I might noodle on the other one later but here's the first

Johnny's fingers fumble with the knot on your stays, thick fingers and blunt nails digging into the lacing with grumbled swears. Your skin prickles with heat, he's so close to you, just a breath away really. Your body reacts to him so quickly, so greedily, he's only just gotten back to town and you ache for him more than you had in the month he was gone. You're glad he hauled you off to your room, though you're loath to tell him that.

"Bloody fucking bust," He grumbles, his nail slipping against the tight knot again.

"It's not a bust," You tell him, smoothing your hands from his biceps to try and take over, "they're stays."

"Don't need to know what it is," He shifts his grip, grabbing either side of your ribs to hold you still. He presses his mouth to the lacing, teeth scraping the strings, biting them with a tight hold. Your fingers grip his hair, your breath coming quick, you can barely feel the warmth of his mouth through the fabric but his teeth? You can feel the dull pressure of them, just at the same moment you feel Johnny jerk his head and hear the tell tale sound of ripping fabric. Johnny's breathing hard his eyes dark, when you look down at what remains of your laces. "Just need to know how to get it off," He breathes, his eyes fixed on your chest, "Oh my bonnie love."

You don't have time to snap at him, or really respond at all before his he's grabbed your chest in two big handfuls. He pushes his face between your breasts, turning his head to kiss the swell of one, then the other, as your stays are forced open.

"You're paying to fix that," You try to keep your tone annoyed, try to grumble and push at his head. You can feel Johnny smile, before his mouth opens and he's sucking at the soft skin of your chest, his fingers squeezing your breast tight enough to ache. He tips his head, moving to suck at one of your nipples, and you let out a short quiet whine.

"Shouldnae be wearin' 'em," He murmurs, laving his tongue over your nipple, pinching the other between calloused fingers, "shouldnae be wearin' anythin' when ya greet your husband."

You open your mouth to respond and he bites you, your back arches to force your chest further against his mouth, your lips closing tight to stem off the noise you make. Heat pools between your legs and Johnny hums, letting go with a chuckle. You don't have a moment to collect yourself, he pulls away only enough to squat down and grab you around your middle, lifting you quick to toss you on the bed. You scramble not to roll off, scramble to get your bearings as he grabs your ankle and drags you back where he wants you. You push yourself up onto your elbows as he parts your legs, forcing your chemise to pool around your hips.

"Johnny, wait, my parents," You push at him with your foot, your voice dropped to a whisper. Johnny pushes your legs apart again, and clicks his tongue admonishingly.

"Now, now, wife. I have to check, make sure you've been taking care of my pussy properly." He grips your hips tight and pulls them to the end of the bed, "if you're worried about your da hearin', ya might want to be quiet."

You smack your hand over your lips, just in time for Johnny to lick a hot, wet, stripe over your cunt.

#cod x reader #x reader #x oc #cod x oc #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #soap call of duty #soap mactavish #soap cod #soap mw2 #soap x reader #soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #f!reader #oc: moon #regency au #call of duty fanfic #john mactavish #johnny mactavish

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tarotphlow · 1 year

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Astro Observations 7

🎡Having a Taurus moon can make a native somewhat of an enabler if their aspects are not properly balanced

🎡Pluto can give insight into what’s hidden using degrees of the planet. For example, a cap rising who has a Pluto placement at an Aries degree could indicate hidden enemies regarding family or home security seeing that a cap risings 4H would be in Aries

🎡your very likely to attract placements that are similar to yours,

🎡laughing because your extremely upset just exudes fire energy. Also cap mars energy Too oddly enough 🤭

🎡it seems like air moons daydream a lot… as well as water moons too. Air likes to think a lot and water likes to feel a lot. Soo this makes sense

🎡Aquarians do genuinely come off as aloof and distant but they just genuinely like having time to themselves, while air signs are very sociable Aquarius is the most advanced out of all 3 of them so sometimes they’ll just be like that lol.

🎡something about having a Scorpio MC and not wanting to say all to much about what happened at work today 🤨

🎡moon trine Lilith could indicate you intimidate others from some sort of emotional intelligence 🧞

🎡Aries suns can get a lot of flack for being… well an Aries, but If think about how the sun is exalted within the sign of Aries it makes sense. People pleasing and being nice to everyone can only do so much, your gonna have to worry about yourself too before you like crumble, what I mean is sometimes being selfish works out sometimes sense you make sure you get you before anyone else does, this is also why Libra is fall in the sun, too much worry about other people and not yourself!! (This is self drag high-key high-key 😔)

🎡speaking of libra sun, there are a good number of indicators that suggest parental issues in astrology:

Daddy issues: Libra sun, sun square mars, sun square Saturn, Sun square or opposite Chiron,Saturn opposite Chiron

Mommy issues : Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio moon. Chiron opposite moon, North Node conjunct moon (depends on the rest of the chart that conjunct is more nuanced.) moon opposite ascendant. Moon in the 6th

(If you need more reason for these aspects comment, I’ll do my best to answer your questions!)

End of observations! I hope y’all enjoyed it sorry about the inactivity. Life is extremely hectic rn, kinda going through a tower moment of sorts so yea I’m thankful for everyone’s patience though!💜

#astrology #astro community #astro observations #astro placements #astro notes #astro posts #astro blurbs

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zeldasnotes · 1 year

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LILITH NOTES PART. 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

These are my personal observations and not facts!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more posts about Lilith and other asteroids.

•Barack Obama got Lilith conjunct Mercury 0° orb and he is so incredibly funny and videos of his speeches always go viral and leaves people in shock (in a positive way). The way he introduced himself as ”Michelles husband”. I think Lilith conjunct Mercury is a sign of high intelligence and people reacting strongly to what you say.

•People with Lilith in hard aspect to Sun can get into a lot of conflicts in their lifes because they feel a strong need to express their honest feelings. Its a part of who they are and they wont back down.

•Lilith trine/sextile Mars makes someone very strategic.

•People with conjunctions/squares to Lilith might become mean at one point in their life because people always saw them as bad anyways so why not? People are gonna hate anyways you might aswell give them a reason.

•Most Lilith dominants I know are super independent, and from a young age. Like started working early in their life, doing stuff on their own, having their own company etc.

•Lilith dominant women experience a lot of complicated love/hate situations with men because men find them intriguing but at the same time finds it hard to genuinely ”like” the Lilith woman since he feels threathened by her. Which leads to being mean to her while being obsessed with her.

•Biggie Smalls having Lilith in the 8th house and being not only accused of his best friends death but also being killed himself.😔

•Lilith just like Pluto can turn out differently in a chart based on how you use that power and what other aspects you have in your chart. Just like Pluto you NEED to take control where your Lilith is OR you will be controlled. With Lilith in hard aspect to Sun or Ascendant you need to show dominance bc people will want to put you down otherwise. With Moon conjunct Lilith you might need to be a b*tch towards other women or they will victimize YOU. Moon conjunct Lilith is common in peoples chart who gets hated on by other women but its also common in people like Beyonce, she got Moon conjunct Lilith and women worship her because she got that dominant powerwoman persona.

•Lilith Square/Opposite/Conjunct Moon can also show that you subconsciously got a bad view on women but as you grew up it changes when you learn how its actually society pitting us against eachother. Look at how Beyonce used to behave towards other women 20 years ago when she was in Destinys Child and made the song ”n*sty girl”. Well she was young but anyways she wasnt always a powerwoman. (all women are powerwomen in my eyes btw but you get what I mean)

•Rachel McAdams have played sooo many bitchy popular girl roles and in the movie Passion she plays a psychopath. She got Lilith conjunct Midheaven Square Ascendant so it makes sense that she got a raw look that works perfectly for roles like that.

•Angelina Jolie got Lilith in the 8th house Square Sun and I cant help but laugh because she doesnt even care when people call her creepy and scary. Like she be unbothered as hell💀

•Sad Observation: If a guys Lilith is conjunct your Moon he might not show as much interest in you when he is single but be hell bent on sleeping with you when he is in a relationship. He might like the idea of you being his side piece. But in a lot of cases if he is not a disgusting guy like the ones i just describe it can be the opposite, that he is the one who finally sees you for who you really are and loves you and understands the pain you go through like with pluto/moon.

•Ive never met a Lilith dominant person, no matter age that were not super intelligent.

•Also with Moon harshly aspecting Lilith there is a sense of having to fight hard for everything they got. Leading to them always being emotionally ready for a battle and having to suppress their emotions. Just like with Moon/Pluto.

•If you are someone whos usually not intense, not into sex outside of a relationship etc that will change when you meet someone whos planets aspects your Lilith. Especially if its their Venus/Moon. Read more about Lilith in synastry on @corvoideas post HERE

•I was friends with two girls who had Moon conjunct Lilith in Libra. Their moms borrowed their clothes, got involved in their petty teendrama, were obsessive and rude towards their friends. Very weird relationship to their moms. Their moms also had them very young which explains some of the competition.

•If you have Lilith in the 2nd house be careful with people who will try to use you for your money you give off the impression of being financially stable even if you are not. I have friends with this aspect and they all attract men with huge debts. One of them were with a man who had half a million in debt and no job. He wanted my friend to take care of him. People want to take from you and could feel a right to do so.

•When you have Lilith in the 2nd house people view you as someone who got too much. Too much beauty, too much money, too much fame. People are obsessed with what you have so they get close to you to either take it or ruin it for you. Be picky because this is a placement that attracts crazy amounts of envy.

•I know so many men with Lilith in the 10th house who have a reputation for being a douchebag/promiscuous etc. Might also be falsely accused of s*xual assault. I know of a guy with this aspect who is known in our town for sleeping with over 100 guys.

•I know of another guy who got Lilith conjunct his Sun and he got accused of being a ”snitch” and outcasted by the men in his neighbourhood because of this. Lilith dominants really gets to see the worst side of society.

•I know Ive said it before but damn Lilith in the 12th house people are sooo good at hiding their Lilith side. They can come across as so unknowing and ”Eve” like.

•Lilith conjunct/square Sun or Ascendant might be that kid in the neighbourhood that parents dont want their children to play with.

•If you are a s*xworker and you meet a client whos Lilith conjuncts your Venus/Moon be ready to make money 🤑💰

SIDENOTE: Sometimes when I post about how men respond to Lilith dominant women I get comments like ”Not everything is about men,women can exist without male validation you know” . Absolutely! not everything is about male validation thats true but men being uncomfortable in your presence WILL affect your life when you are young w no education because in a lot of places men got the power. If a you are someone who intimidates men it WILL affect you because men like that will make damn sure to put you in your place. Lilith is not only about sexiness and confidence but also about the pain of being a woman. The pain of being considered ”the 2nd gender”. Being punished for being sexual, having a bad reputation because you offended the wrong MAN. Remember that the whole thing with Lilith was that she refused to lay under Adam. So yes Lilith got a lot to do with men. Its also easy for us living in the westworld saying stuff like ”Not everything is about men”. We dont need men like that but how about women in less developed countries? Women who are seen as disgusting for being divorced, women who have to marry someone who r*ped them bc nobody else will marry now that they are not a virgin anymore, divorced women who arent allowed to shake hands with ppl because people think it brings bad luck to touch a divorced woman, women who are in jail for leaving a man. Imagine telling those women to stop thinking that everything is about men.😔

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #lilith aspects #lilith #ascendant #asteroids #lilith square ascendant #lilith conjunct sun

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allmyloveandyours · 1 year

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Astrology Observations 3!!!!

Hi I'm back again but these ones are kinda like straight up opinions. Take what resonates! I'm not a professional, if anything I'm a goofy fella who constantly asks to see peoples charts.

Virgo Midheaven creates a very detailed oriented person with an immaculate image. Everything they put out is out together well, their plans to be successful are insanely planned out, and I've never seen one look messy.

Mercury in your Suns element explain the things best to you.

Asteroid Actor (12238) conjunct Ascendant could mean people don't believe you when you're being honest/your sincerity comes off as fake.

Heavy Aquarius placements may love watching long commentary videos. Especially drama breakdown videos with Leo in the mix. I am a victim of this ✊😔

A lot of squares in a natal chart can make an extremely chill person. Whatever inner tension they have makes them oddly calm and forgiving of other people. Especially Sun squaring Mars and or Jupiter, it kinda feels like a cancellation happens where there should be anger. They also may get picked on a lot.

Moon in 10th and 11th house are popular placements for success. Whatever attention you get, your moon sign will tell you what people love about you. Jupiter also tells the same thing, but a less tame affect. Examples can be Moon in Pisces means that your very intuitive when it comes to your audience, and they vibe with you because of that. Jupiter in Pisces could have people going crazy for your intuitiveness and you could be able to gauge how you get attention the easiest.

The most accurate description of a rising sign I've seen is Virgo Rising having Resting Bitch Face. They also age SO well. The stars really balanced it out for them.

Mars in Libra can make a very passive person in relationships, and the house can talk about the problems. They may not want to speak up/will try to appease their partners. Like if the partner wants a cat and the Libra is deathly allergic, they'd rather get the cat than tell their partner there's an issue.

If you're feeling a little lost and need direction, looking at your Vesta could be a good place to start. Vesta represents your undying flame and your spark, so it can help jump-start your passions. Vesta in 5th can point to taking up more creative hobbies such as writing, acting, drawing, or maybe taking care of kids, 6th means starting with a healthy routine, helping others, or volunteering with animals, 1st is taking care of yourself and your appearance, and making even spicing things up a little. All of this is of course depending on the sign.

Cancer Midheavens are the best at being able to gauge audiences/coworkers reactions to things. Although it may seem strange, they're nice in positions of management. Strict enough to make you listen but nice enough to understand if you can't make deadlines/can sense if you're burnt out.

I feel like I can make a billion posts on Saturn since it's one of my favorite planets, but here's a favorite: I'm not sure who said it (it could've been multiple, if anyone knows who I'm talking about leave their @ in the replies) but your chart ruler in a house can show where you may excel, but also have problems based on what body part it rules. A good example for me is Saturn in 5th Gemini, and I have wrist joint/bone issues caused by excessive drawing and writing. I also get a lot of compliments for my jaw so win/win scenario. Another not me example is your rising being Sagittarius, with Jupiter in 6th house. You could be a joyous person when it comes to taking care of people/yourself, with a stable routine that's a bit too rigorous and you could end up hurting your thighs in some way like pulling your hamstring, or just having really thick thighs and contributing it to your routine. S/o to you for that

Uranus in retrograde can point to bad technology skills. Probably the type of person to go "I hate technology" one minute then continue to giggle at memes on Twitter the next. Especially in Aquarius.

Gemini Midheavens/Mars need to do multiple things at once. So like if you're a writer, you might be your publisher as well or your editor, or even make your own book cover. If you do YouTube you'll be your own editor and script writer. If you're an actor you may act and director, the list can go forever. But doing at least 2 things seems to stop the jumping from project to project some Geminis may feel creatively.

I like describing North Node and Vertex as The path you're drawn to (NN) vs What path you're gonna get dragged down (V). Like you can ignore your north node if you want but vertex will force you to deal with it. Like if you have North Node in 4nd but Vertex in 8th. You could ignore any homebody nature, ignore your roots and any family life, but you will be forced to go through transformations, deaths and rebirths whether you like it or not, or even notice it.

Pisces suns kinda flock together, I've never seen one by themselves.

Oppositions to Mars can tell you what makes you quick to anger even if you're not a hot headed person. Mars Opposite Venus could be that you get upset when people criticize your style, love life or appearance. Mars Opposite Sun could mean you don't like when people criticize you period, and it may be very ego based.

Chiron in 1st house may be sore losers, and they don't like looking stupid, especially with positive planets in 9th house. They may need to learn how to deal with showing a bit of that Chiron side in a healthy way, since the 1st house is the thing people see first.

Your descendant could be the moon sign/element you get the most, especially in love.

Squares/Opposites to Neptune can show what illusions you need to break in order to get closer to your intuitive nature. Neptune Square Pluto could mean you need to go through a full transformation and rebirth. Neptune opposite Mars means you may need to deal with bouts of anger, realigning your passions and directing your energy in the proper direction.

Mars in Scorpio are the calmest mars sign of them all. Nothing really ever phases them to be honest, regardless of the house.

ALRIGHT these ones were deadass just things I've noticed. Might be a week or so till I post another one, but let me know if there's any topics you think I should cover next besides the Chiron one I'm planning. See you next time :)

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vanilladove · 3 months

Text

~ get free (bonus)

based off of an anonymous request to see what would happen if reader tried to escape because trust was lost🫣 this is also the 'bad ending' reposted bc 'read more' wasn't working the first time.

pic creds luvpngs | gif creds akashi-tetsuki

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: asylum patient!nikolai x asylum attendant!fem!reader; slight fydor x fem!reader🤫

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre: angst + fluff? w/ dark elements; one suggestive scene with nikolai🙈read at your own discretion!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ content warnings: feelings of guilt, manipulation + violence, unhealthy relationships, slightly yandere nikolai, this is lowkey sad...😔

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ summary: you've become an accomplice to the doa. however, you've started to grow some doubts about your situation. are you really free or just in another man's cage? not to mention the demon lurking from a distance... ˚₊‧꒰ა read pt 1 & pt 2 & pt3 (good ending)໒꒱ ‧₊˚

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ word count: 4.7k

"So, what's your husband like?" Your coworker Juliette asked, sitting in a circle with your other colleague Anaïs, passing around a box of assorted chocolates.

It had been three months. You and Nikolai had successfully infiltrated Mersault, getting more information about the space-creating ability and honing in on potential ability users. Now you were alone, working for the government's IT department--your goal was to create a breach in their database for Fyodor to get into, so he could narrow down the Decay of Angel's targets and get their information.

Anaïs scowled and gave you the chocolates, muttering a word about how she was "low-sugar" before she primped her hair, preparing to brag, "Well, y'know, Louis takes me shopping and buys me new jewelry whenever I want. He just got me a new puppy, too, and he's the cutest little pomeranian!" You giggled a bit as Juliet pouted in envy, "Oh--and he's taking this weekend off, so we can go to the islands together!" You popped a caramel-filled square in your mouth as Juliet rolled her eyes playfully.

"You spoiled princess...Antoine spends all his money on the kids--plus he only gets one weekend off a month and always brings them to our romantic date nights..." Your coworker sighed dramatically, pretending like she wasn't equally as doting over her children, whose pictures and handmade gifts were all around her cubicle.

Ah, children, families, frequent romantic dates, marriage...those were all traditional things you gave up after running away with Nikolai.

You were lost in your thoughts as you popped another rich candy into your mouth--this one being filled with a creamy pistachio ganache that tasted a bit too artificial and made you cringe. Juliette called your name to snap you out of your daze.

"Well, what about you? What's your husband like?" She leaned forward and stared curiously at you, waiting for you to share your little gossip. You chewed slowly, trying to process the question as Anaïs nudged her friend's side lightly.

"Juliette, are you blind?! The girl doesn't have a ring on her finger--certainly she must have a man though--I mean look at her--she's a stunner." Your eyes widened at that as you twirled your wig hair and fixed your fake disguise glasses.

"Oh, well, Anaïs is right, I do have a...lover." Lover...you and Nikolai had never really put an official label on your relationship. You described Nikolai--dubbed as "Nikolas"--to the two other women, trying to stay as true as possible while not revealing his true identity.

Juliet winked at you, "Do you guys have sex? Is he rough, soft, kinky?" She giggled as Anaïs side-eyed her for her childish behavior.

You blushed, well, at least you could answer this question in earnest, "Yeah...he's good...really good." You covered your face briefly, feeling heat in your cheeks when you remembered your little Mersault moments. "But we haven't done anything in a while since he's away on a...work trip." You smiled sadly at that, despite missions being the new norm, you couldn't deny feeling lonely and missing Nikolai constantly.

"Ohhhhh?" Juliette and Anaïs exchanged coy looks, "You need that man to marry you before he leaves you...trust me, darling, I would know." Anaïs said, touching up her lipstick, "You wouldn't want to get knocked up and left alone, would you? Men are too unfaithful these days..."

Yeah, you knew all about that first hand.

You were about to interject until you supervisor knocked on the wall of the space you three were having lunch in. "Lunch break's over. Get back to work, ladies." You all got up slowly, and you held onto the box of chocolates, offering some pieces to Juliette before taking it back to your work desk and putting your headset on.

"You shouldn't eat so many chocolates, ptichka, you'll get a sugar crash." You straightened your back suddenly upon hearing the sultry, russian man's voice in your headset. Fyodor. He usually gave you instructions privately to hack into the system, but he normally only talked to you for mission purposes.

Rolling your eyes, you popped a sweet milk chocolate heart into your mouth, "Hush, I'm stressed. And how did you know? Are you watching me or something?" You looked up by the ceilings to glare into the nearby security cameras.

Fyodor only laughed on the other side. "Oh, milaya, I'm always watching you." Shivers ran down your spine as his voice faded out and you were back to staring at your log-in screen.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You waved goodbye to your coworkers as greeted Ivan--your personal chauffeur--and stepped into the backseat of the car, staring out the tinted window. The car was stopped at a red light when you noticed an animated billboard broadcasting a clip of the news. It was your parents and your in-laws begging for any information about you or your husband's disappearances and the award for either of your safe returns. While that didn't bother you at first--after all, your parents just saw you as a pawn they could marry away for a sound investment, and your in-laws didn't treat you much better either--you couldn't help but feel some remorse from their desperate pleas.

You knew what had happened to your husband--you and Nikolai had killed him. As much as you didn't want to admit it, his death was starting to haunt you. The eerie silence after you'd pulled the trigger and the horrible state he was in before replayed in your dreams, and it didn't help that your lover wasn't there to comfort you anymore. Especially now that Sigma was busy managing the Sky Casino, and you had to work your 9-5 office job, you really had no one to talk to openly. No one...except for Fyodor.

"Welcome back, milashka." Fyodor greeted you as you slipped off your heels upon entering the base. You smiled awkwardly at him, freeing your hair from the wig and slipping your glasses back into your purse. "How was work today?"

"Good...as always...you would know that, though since you're always watching me." You teased, still a bit shaken by what he'd said.

Despite how cold and reluctant he was towards you at first, you'd somehow gotten closer since it was basically just you two at the base. He'd held up his promise and gave you plenty of books to read, so you often talked about literature, which usually lead to deeper conversations. Additionally, although he never addressed you by your name like Sigma, he started giving you russian pet names--some of which were uncannily similar to the ones Nikolai would call you. You tried not to pay it much mind--it was probably some weird power dynamic thing--but you couldn't help but notice how he hid the nicknames and subtle flirting around Nikolai.

Fyodor motioned towards the small table by the fireplace, "I made some tea. Would you care to join me, ptichka? He smirked as you sighed and sat down next to him--you swore the chairs were closer than usual. You pulled the box of chocolates out of your purse and set them down next to a blue and white porcelain tea cup. You poured yourself some black tea before taking another chocolate, this one being filled with strawberry cream. You sulked after seeing a drawing of a happy family on the box, drawing Fyodor's attention. "Is anything on your mind, milaya? You seem bothered."

You eyed him curiously, surprised that he cared to listen to you. You figured you needed to get it off your chest, though, so you opened up, "Well...it's just that I've been alone lately with Nikolai gone, and I've been feeling like maybe this life isn't exactly for me..." You trailed off, a bit panicked when you saw a blank, stoic look on Fyodor's face. You put your hands up defensively, "N-not like I don't want to be a part of the Decay of Angels anymore, but just that I want more out of my life in the future."

Fyodor crossed his legs and rested his chin on his hand, gazing down at you, intrigued, "Go on."

You gulped, "I get so jealous when my coworkers talk about their families and settling down, going on fun vacations, or having daily board game nights...How they can speak so freely about their lives, while I have to live a lie and walk past my missing posters every day...I-I don't have anyone to come home to anymore, either..." You could feel tears start to cloud your vision as you looked down, never speaking this passionately before. You were sure you looked pathetic.

Your eyes widened as you felt Fyodor's frail fingers come up to wipe away your tears and brush across your cheek before landing on top of your hands. They were cold, not as warm as Nikolai's but at least somewhat comforting.

"Perhaps it isn't a different lifestyle you crave, but a sense of belonging and security." Fyodor started, bringing his face a bit closer to yours. "Your heart desires a deeper connection with those around you. After all, you abandoned everyone you knew before and suddenly went into an entirely different life. It's only normal that you would feel distressed after a while. You need comfort--and I'm sure that some part of you wants to give your parents some closure about your disappearance."

Fyodor was being...sympathetic? It was almost scary how well he could describe what you were feeling, along with how surprisingly empathetic he acted. You had quickly learned that he had little regard for others or for defective subordinates.

You looked up at him, "It's not just that, though. Even though it's selfish, I want Nikolai to marry me--or at least make things more serious and clear between us..." You didn't notice Fyodor slightly frowning at that as you continued, "He's just been away for so long, and it's not like I don't trust him, but he really has no obligation to stay loyal to me, and I've already been cheated on before...There's no way I can fall in love with another man being a double agent, so I need to know if he plans on us being long-term or not..." Rambling out the rest of your feelings, Fyodor stroked your hand slowly, his smug smile returning on his face.

"You should tell him that, then. If you speak from your heart and tell him the truth, I'm sure he'll listen to you. After all, he'd fulfill your desires if he really loved you." You pouted.

"But it's Nikolai...at the end of the day, he lives by his own convictions and philosophy."

Fyodor clicked his tongue, "If he loved you, he'd compromise." You weren't quite convinced, but you flinched when he brought your hand up and placed a soft kiss to the back of your hand. "Good luck, milashka." As soon as it happened, he was gone as he dismissed himself and left you alone at the table. You didn't know how to think or process the conversation as you lightly slapped away the faint blush across your cheeks.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Another long day of work had concluded as you wished your coworkers a good weekend and walked out the door. It had been two weeks since your conversation with Fyodor, but it was all that was on your mind. You really needed to talk to Nikolai soon.

Wait. Was that Ivan...holding a bouquet of flowers? Not just any flowers either--they were the same lavender roses you'd been gifted by your ex-patient in the asylum courtyard.

Ivan only gave you his usual twisted smile and laughter before handing you the bouquet as you shot him a questioning look. You muttered a quiet "thank you" as you got into the backseat and stared out the window again, smelling the fragrant roses and replaying Fyodor's words in your head.

It didn't hit you that the road you were traveling on was unfamiliar until the car suddenly came to a stop, and you realized you were in an abandoned alleyway. Uneasiness started to settle in as your driver exited his seat, shutting the car door behind him. "Iv--"

You were interrupted when the door to the backseat flung open and closed as Ivan crawled on top of you, pushing the flowers out of your hands as he pushed his body against yours and cradled into your neck, hysterically giggling. "I-Ivan--" You struggled to shove him off you, but he was too strong, "W-what are you---"

A familiar scent stopped you from speaking as your heartbeat increased. Wait, was that--?

Ivan pulled away from your neck before tugging off his bandages, his whole appearance suddenly fading away before being replaced by...

"K-Kolya! I-It's you!" Relief washed over your face as you looked up to see your lover staring back at you, clearly satisfied from whatever prank he'd just played on you. He kissed away the tears that had formed instinctively from your fear while laughing maniacally.

"Hehe~ Did you miss me, dove? I wanted to surprise you since I just came back. Your reactions were a nice little treat~" You pouted as you looked away, embarrassed that you'd lost yet another one of Nikolai's mini games. His features softened, "I'm afraid I may have gone a bit too far though. I really missed you, myla." His warm, gloved fingers traced over your bottom lip slowly.

"M-missed you too, Kolya. So much..." You sniffled as you pulled his head down to yours, tangling your fingers into his fluffy white hair and capturing his lips in a deep kiss. Your back pushed into the car cushions as Nikolai's hands roamed your body, needy to touch you again after so long--especially since he couldn't contact you. He fumbled with the buttons on your thick coat, hands working fast to get you out of all of your layers.

He groaned into the kiss as you tugged on his locks and wrapped your legs around his waist to press him further against you. By now, he had unbuttoned your light blue blouse to reveal your pretty skin. Nikolai pulled away from the kiss gently to take you in--the sight of you all flustered in just a thin lacy bra was turning him on, evident from his growing arousal that was pushing against your tights.

"Fuck, dove, you're so beautiful..." He dipped back to leave messy hickeys on your neck, whispering in your ear before slowly working his way down, "Your skin's so soft...were you touching yourself while I was away, pryntsesa?" You moaned at that, whining when his hand starting rubbing circles from your hips to your inner thigh, getting dangerously close. The trail of wet kisses traveled down your collarbone and your breasts to your stomach and eventually stopping where the waistband of your black skirt and tights laid. He was panting lightly at this point, devoid of air from worshipping your body. "It wasn't enough, though, was it? You need me to feel good, myla~" He heaved, his face pink and strands of hair falling over his eyes. His fingers hooked around your clothes and he resumed his trail of kisses, about to strip you.

"If he loved you, he'd compromise."

Fyodor's words hit you as you stopped Nikolai, lightly pushing yourself up again. "W-wait, Nikolai, I want to talk to you about something." He grunted, annoyed like a little kid, his bulge still pressing against you.

"Can it wait? I didn't bring you to this abandoned, sketchy alley for nothing, ptashka." You pulled away further, to his disappointment, and pulled your knees up against your body, pouting sadly.

"I know, but it's something that's been on my mind since you've been gone", Nikolai only sighed impatiently as you pleaded, "I promise it won't take too long..." You put your hand over Nikolai's, and he obliged reluctantly, sitting up a small distance away from you.

"Cockblocker...make it quick." He muttered, and you tried not to be immature and giggle. This was supposed to be a serious conversation.

You cleared your throat, "Well, I was just wondering about us...and our relationship..." You flinched when you saw Nikolai's eyes bore into you, "I-It's not what you think---I love you and want to stay with you, but, are we..." You trailed off, suddenly feeling embarrassed and unsure about what to say next. You looked down, mind a muddled mess, but you tried to remember Fyodor's advice.

"A-are we ever going to get married? Settle down and maybe start a family? Move somewhere nice and peaceful, where we can just enjoy each other's company?" Your mind went back to Anaïs and her husband, as you slowly started to look back up, "Go on a vacation together to the islands? Or your home coun--"

"No." Nikolai's dark gaze cut into you, stopping you from speaking any further. "Why would you want that, dove?"

You could feel your heart shattering. This wasn't how you thought he would respond. He was supposed to understand you, to listen to you, to compromise.

"I want a future with you, Kolya, that's why..." You started sadly, throat feeling constricted.

"But we're already together right now, myla. Isn't that enough for you?" Nikolai replied apathetically, his expression stoic and unreadable.

"It's--but my husband cheated on me, so I have to know if you're serious about us. I don't want to be in an unstable relationship anymore." Tears pricked your eyes, threatening to spill out as you could feel your heart breaking, "Anyways, you could just cheat on me, too. You're barely even around anymore, and I'm sure that you're always surrounded by beautiful women...All my coworkers are already married and in a happy relationship, so I feel so behind..."

"Oh, so that's why? Because society's telling you to live that way? Because you want to be accepted and imitate everyone else? That's the exact life I was trying to escape from, dove." Nikolai butted back, smiling cruelly.

"N-no! That's not--" You cried out, not being able to hold in the tears. Nikolai frowned and looked up from your face, reaching up towards your head.

"That hat? When did you get that?" He glared up at the white ushanka on your head. It resembled a certain someone's too closely.

You sniffled, "T-this? It's a gift from Fyodor. 'Cause it's getting cold out." Nikolai furrowed his brows in jealously upon hearing that name.

"From Dos...he's the one who planted those ideas in your head, didn't he?" His fists tightened at the thought of Fyodor wrapping you around his finger; it was his specialty, after all.

You wiped your tears sadly as you lowly shook your head no. At this point, Fyodor seemed to be the only one who understood you. He was the one who'd told you that Nikolai would compromise if he loved you. But he didn't. Did that mean...?

"Tch. Look, myla, stay away from that man. Dos may be my friend, but I don't trust him." Seeing your sad face and lack of response angered him more and he raised his voice a bit, "Stop talking to him, dove. I'm warning you--don't you dare even look in his direction."

Your sobbing resumed as you pulled your head back into your knees, hearing the backdoor shut as Nikolai left and started driving back to the base. You heard the sound of rain in the background as you clutched the white ushanka in your arms, the fluffy hat offering you some comfort.

The ride back was silent.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Fyodor awaited you both when you finally arrived back at the base, the same sly smile on his face. "Welcome back, you two." Nikolai only glared back, holding your hand tightly. He let go suddenly and walked past Fyodor into his stone room, implying for him to follow suit.

Once Nikolai's back was turned away, Fyodor gave you a soft, concerned glance. Your nose and eyes were swollen and red from all the crying. "I'm guessing it didn't go well, milashka?" You shook your head softly, and he whispered about leaving some cookies and tea in your room. He tried to approach you, but a strong voice cut him off.

"Dos, let's talk." Nikolai menacingly called out, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway. You'd never seen him this stern or angry before. He never took anything seriously, certainly you weren't an exception, right?

Fyodor shot you one last empathetic look and went into his room. You shuddered as the sound of Nikolai slamming the door and immediately yelling loudly bounced off the walls. As much as you wanted to eavesdrop, you were worn out and tired.

You retreated to your and Nikolai's shared room slowly, too exhausted to even try the tea and cookies Fyodor had thoughtfully left for you. You barely stripped off your disguise before crashing onto the bed, just wanting the day to be over.

Things with Nikolai could never go back to normal again. You wished you'd just kept your mouth shut, but you also wished Nikolai had been more open to your desires. What were you to him, anyways? And you didn't understand why he was so mad at Fyodor. He'd kept you company while Nikolai was gone, and he'd been nothing but respectful and attentive.

You groaned and tried to shut your eyes to drown out the conflicting thoughts in your head. Everything was way too complicated now. You wished things could be peaceful again. You wished you could escape.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

"You want to go back home, ptichka?" Fyodor asked. You nodded in response. The next day, Nikolai was gone on another mission, never coming to your shared bed the night before or saying goodbye to you before leaving.

The russian man sighed, "That's a bad idea. You'll get caught before you know it, and once the press gets a hold of you, it'll be hard to rescue you. Plus you still have your job that could arouse suspicion."

"I know..." You started. "I just...have some amends to make...and I'll only be gone for a day or two...and stay in disguise." Liar. You didn't know why you wanted to go back, and if you were homesick or just trying to self-sabotage yourself. Either way, you knew you couldn't stay here and look at Fyodor or Nikolai any longer. Things were too tense, and you didn't know who was genuinely there for you or just manipulating you.

You couldn't trust either of them. Your plan was to either go back and get caught for your crimes or retreat to the Sky Casino for as long as possible. You bet that Sigma didn't like or trust the two men either.

Not to mention, you'd already left Nikolai a parting text, writing,

"I'm sorry. I'll always love you, Kolya. Thank you."

Not that you even knew if he'd see it, but you still wanted to say something.

"I'll help you." Fyodor finally said, making your eyes widen in surprise. "But I want to tell you something first." He took your hands and held them, running his thumb over your fingers. His touch was cold. "I admire you for wanting to confront your feelings and follow your heart. The rest of us have forgotten such feelings of humanity." He continued, "To see such a lovely, well-read woman like you leave pains me. I'll truly miss you and our intellectual conversations, milaya. So much so that I'll be awaiting your safe return."

You blushed as he kissed your gentle hands, "T-thank you, Fyodor, I'm flattered." Lying again, but you figured you would have to use your 'feminine charm' a bit to fully convince him.

He smirked subtly, "Escaping from another man's cage of lofty ideals and freedom into the outside world...Would you care to do me one last favor, milashka?" You nodded with doe eyes as he leaned into your ear.

"Give me a goodbye kiss." Shocked and flustered, you pulled away and broke contact.

Fyodor only stepped forward and held your face, his soft smile seeming more sinister now, "What's wrong, dove, you just have to kiss me, and I'll help you escape. Not a bad deal, no?" He got dangerously close to you, his hot breath fanning over your glossy lips.

You froze for a second, "I-I can't--" Fyodor only traced your lips ominously, like he was taunting you and asking you why.

"I'm still in love with Niko--"

"Dove? Dos?" Your heartbeat stopped when you heard your lover's voice behind you. Why was he here, and how'd he get here so fast?

You turned around, hoping he would save you, until you saw him holding a gun--the same one he used on your husband.

"Kolya, w-wait, this isn't..." You stopped talking when you heard the gun cock. There was no way you could explain your way out of this. You and Fyodor were just about to kiss, and you were trying to escape indefinitely.

Nikolai narrowed his eyes and pointed the gun at Fyodor, "This was your doing, wasn't it?" Fyodor only remained calm, however, and twirled a strand of your hair while smirking.

"No, quite the opposite actually. Our little dove here was just about to escape and go back home to 'make amends'. It seems like she may still be grieving over her husband and their traditional life together..." Nikolai's grip on his gun tightened, still pointed at his friend. "Actually, she was just seducing me to help her escape. A goodbye kiss, that's what you wanted, right, ptichka?" Your ex-patient's eyes narrowed after hearing the similar pet name.

He turned to you, "Is he telling the truth, dove?" You were shaking, still trying to process the situation in front of you.

"N-no! I was trying to escape with Fyodor's help, but that's it! I swear, I still love you--please believe me, Kolya!" You pleaded, practically begging for your life. Nikolai looked at you regrettably before removing the card over his right eye and laughing bitterly.

"And here I was, rushing back to see you once I saw your text because I was worried about you and wanted to talk things out properly. I'm quite the fool aren't I, dove?" He started laughing maniacally, scaring you. He then stopped suddenly and pointed the gun at you, "But I guess this decision was from your own free will. I was wrong for thinking you were the same as me..."

Anxiety settling in, you couldn't react. What was Nikolai going on about? Had Fyodor said something to or manipulated him, too?

"We got rid of your husband, but now you want Dos, too? You're aren't really mine, are you, dove?" He walked closer to you and pressed the cold metal barrel to your hip. "I'll be nice and let you play one last game, though~" He had a crazy look in his eyes--one dark and emotionless, and the other streaming tears; you were sure every feeling was spiraling through his brain.

Nikolai giggled as he pushed you out of the door onto the floor. You were about to get up in fear when you heard a shot in the background. Did he shoot Fyodor?

Deranged laughter was heard behind you as Nikolai peeked his head out the door, "Better start running, dove. Otherwise the next shot might hit you~" You backed up in terror, standing up and stumbling over to Nikolai, wrapping your arms around him and crying hysterically.

"K-Kolya, you're s-scaring me. I-I love you, s-so let's go back t-to n-normal." Nikolai paused against your shaky body and lifted your face up to his. Tears were falling out both of his eyes now, contrasting the wicked grin contorting his lips. You gasped as he wiped your eyes and licked away your tears.

"You look so pretty when you cry, angel. I'll give you an extra ten seconds for that. Ten...nine...eight..." Realizing you had no way to convince Nikolai to spare your life, you ran, not daring to look back behind you. The man you loved was gone, driven mad by his obsession over you. Your skin crawled as you heard his voice reverberating through the hallways.

"I thought you loved me, dove, but it seems I wasn't what you wanted. I got too attached to you, though, and you know too much, so it seems I can't just let you go or give you to another man. You won't escape my cage."

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