#feeling actually rather depressed and upset about this probably bc i have a cold and midterms stress already | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autistic-ace-bee · 2 years

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I hope this question doesn't bother or make you uncomfortable and I'm sorry if otherwise, but how do you ask your parents to take you to the doctor to check if I have adhd or depression. I've been feeling that I have those two and want to know for sure but I don't know how to tell them so an appointment can be scheduled.

Aside from that I don't fully trust the doctors in my place because most of them are those people who say you can pray mental illness away :// I was taken to a psychiatrist before and that's what the doctor did, he never let me talk about my feelings or trauma and just let my parents rant about everything they found wrong with me and made me take sleeping pills.

So if I don't get diagnosed with either I don't fully think it's 100 percent accurate. Sorry for the rant I just really don't know what to do, I want to know if I really have them but aside from needing to ask my parents to schedule an appointment to unreliable doctors I just wonder if anything good will come out of me trying.

i think if you want to try, you should. My advice probably won't be that helpful bc honestly I didn't really have to do anything to get my diagnoses. it was kind of... really, really obvious. and my doctors werent ass-talking dumb fucks. Idk how old you are or where youre from or what your circumstances are but it might be worth looking into booking the appointment without your parents overseeing it. The only thing I can really recommend is doing your research on ADHD and depression and writing down and listing out the symptoms you relate to, and then just being really hella persistent with telling your parents and the doctors. I definitely think its worth it to keep pushing it, but if it's too hard, it might be worth waiting until youre more independent or at least old enough that you can book your own doctors appointments are you saying your parents were in the room with you for your therapy? I'm pretty sure you can request to see a different therapist if the one you currently have/have in the future isn't working for you, and try to get their email so you can message them in private if your parents are sitting in on your session and talking over you and you dont want them there but cant say that with them there.

obviously a diagnosis is great, but plenty of people dont have one and thats fine! as long as you can recognise the symptoms in yourself, you can do your own research and finding coping strategies to help with whatever symptoms you present. until you can get your diagnosis and proper support, I recommend things like keeping a diary and trying to maintain a proper sleep schedule and diet and making sure to get exercise like at least one walk a week. It's all pretty standard stuff but it can make a big difference for depressive symptoms, and keeping a diary is really useful for understanding how you feel and your triggers and figuring out coping strategies. you dont need to write in the diary every day, just when you're upset! also finding a creative activity can be really helpful, even if you just grab a pen and doodle on yourself. screaming is fun. dancing is fun! I've been depressed but I don't actually have depression per say so definitely read up on coping strategies rather than taking me at my word! but yes. diagnoses are great, but if youre circumstances wont permit it, please know that there are a wealth of resources out there for you to read, and that they can actually be really useful! and youre always free to rant here if you want I can try to be somewhat useful if you want or just listen =^-^=

as for how to actually broach the subject with your parents... I would probably say something like "Could you take me to the doctors? I haven't been feeling that well." and then when they press it like "what, do you have a cold?" you'd go onto say something like "I've just been feeling really tired and fatigued, like I just don't have the energy." I would specifically phrase it this way because it's kinda vague, but if you want you can go from there into how you think you might have depression & ADHD, or you can just leave it at that, say something about having a chemical imbalance or iron deficiency or something, if you think they might not take you if it's because of mental health rather than physical health.

But yeah! if youre going to have the conversation about having ADHD & depression with people who are... not the most accepting/understanding, you might want to prepare to fight for yourself, and to do so you need adequate preparation and at least some understanding of your symptoms. If your parents or doctors say "but you dont show XYZ symptom" be ready to combat it with "having that symptom isnt a requirement, everyone's symptoms present differently."

Honestly, at the end of the day if you can see yourself as having ADHD or depression, chances are you probably do. And if you don't but can relate to the symptoms, then coping strategies used to deal with them will be just as useful for you, and that's what really matters. your self-diagnosis is perfectly valid! you know yourself best after all

#anon my beloved <33 #if you have more questions id be happy to help!#tbh i dont think im that useful for this particular issue. my mum just saw how depressed i was and took me to a therapist who then realised #i was autistic #idk if it was easy for me bc of my country or what but #definitely helped that i was white #also fck those doctors i cannot stand stupidass people working in health care who dont believe mental illness is an actual disease #long post

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seita · 4 years

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— bnha abc's: hitoshi shinsou [angst edition].

well, finally the angst! i have no idea what character i’ll do next but we shall see...

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ɴsғᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ | ғʟᴜғғ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ

⤑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

A- Accident, Would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?

∴ unless he was the reason you were involved then no. ∴ he wouldn’t search for correlation to himself in the event of an accident. ∴ he’s not looking to throw a pity party for himself. ∴ you were the one who was dead, after all.

B- Break up, How would they deal with one?

∴ it depends on the relationship. ∴ if it was long term, a few years together then he’s pretty broken up about it ∴ and will probably take a while to get himself back on the market ∴ but a relationship that’s only been a handful of months ∴ he figures it’s best to just move on from it.

C-Crying, Are they much of a crier?

∴ no not at all, really. ∴ sure, he feels sad but tears never fall from his eyes. ∴ however, if there is something traumatic that happens. ∴ he may shed a few tears into his pillow as he goes to sleep.

D-Death, How do they deal with any death?

∴ pretty well, actually ∴ he finds a way to cope so he can move on as quickly as possible ∴ that’s not to say he doesn’t mourn or just erase their memory ∴ he just moves to work past being broken up about it ∴ he doesn’t want to go through his days with the heavy weight of a death on his mind ∴ the type of guy to visit graves and leave flowers for his loved ones once a month.

E-Emotion, What’s the emotion they tend to push away the most?

∴ anger. ∴ he doesn’t like to be angry and he doesn’t like to show anyone his anger ∴ that’s not always possible so he’ll remove himself from situations that make him angry ∴ he’ll go somewhere private where he can let his anger out without prying eyes. ∴ he feels like shit after losing his temper so he’ll apologize or you’ll have to console him and let him know it’s okay to be angry ∴ he’s human and bottling it up isn’t healthy ∴ he agrees but...tbh nothing changes.

F-Frustrated, How much would it take to push them off the edge?

∴ it truly depends. ∴ day-to-day, he doesn’t really get ticked off or upset easily ∴ he’s pretty patient tbh ∴ but in an event where he worked hard for something ∴ or he really, really had a drive to do something (like get into the hero course) ∴ and he fails to do it ∴ he is pretty easily set off. ∴ but he pushes past and works 10x harder than before until he accomplishes his goal. ∴ he’s a driven man.

G-Great Pain, What is the most painful thing they have witnessed?

∴ when he became a pro, the first time he failed to defeat a villain ∴ and many civilians perished as a result ∴ it’s something that absolutely haunts him. ∴ he had nightmares for weeks afterwards ∴ he fully went to a therapist ∴ like he was fucked up over it ∴ to this day, if he’s reminded of it he will literally get so anxious and depressed, even though he’s seen lots of casualties since then ∴ it was just that first failure that fucks him up.

H-Humiliation, How could they be humiliated?

∴ being cheated on. ∴ the idea that he wasn’t good enough, to the point his lover had to find someone else. ∴ that really damages his sense of self worth and self esteem which is already a bit low to begin with. ∴ he’d feel like there was something wrong with him and now everyone knew he was defective.

I-Injured, How do they handle themselves when injured?

∴ very calm and collected. ∴ he figures there’s no real reason to lose his head over it. ∴ panicking will only make the situation worse. ∴ if it’s a bad injury, he’ll seek help as fast as he can. ∴ if its a superficial wound he’ll probably handle it himself.

J-Jittery, Which part of their past makes them flinch or even worked up?

∴ his childhood. ∴ he was the target for teasing and bullying due to his quirk. ∴ so if anything reminds him of those times, he gets really down ∴ he doesn’t like spiral into depression or anything ∴ but he’ll feel anxious and self conscious until the moment passes

K-Kill, Would they kill for revenge?

∴ no, never. ∴ he’s worked so hard to become a pro hero that he wouldn’t want to jeopardize it by some sort of misconduct as that. ∴ also, he has been accused of having potential to become a villain ∴ and he doesn’t want to give anyone ammunition for that.

L- Loss, What was their greatest loss?

∴ he hasn’t actually experienced much loss in terms of losing anyone to death. ∴ when he was a child, he had a friend before his quirk manifested ∴ and accidentally used it on them, unsure of how to control it ∴ and it scared the other boy so bad he stopped being friends with him ∴ that hurt shinsou pretty badly. ∴ he also probably lost a pet dog, which was traumatic because of how much he depended on the furry animal for comfort

M- Mistakes, How much do they want to fix the mistakes of their past?

∴ shinsou isn’t the type of person who will do things that have the potential for regret ∴ he thinks his decisions over thoroughly and runs through all options before choosing the most logical one ∴ of course, he fucks up sometimes but ∴ he stands by his decisions, confident that he did the best possible thing he could have. ∴ being a pro hero doesn’t allow for him to regret things -- if he stops to mourn every civilian loss, for example, he would only be run into the ground. ∴ that doesn’t help anyone.

N-Need, How would they react if you needed emergency surgery?

∴ calm and collected ∴ especially if you’re scared ∴ then he’s going to make sure he’s a pillar for you to lean on ∴ that’s not to say on the inside he isn’t losing his mind ∴ bc he def is ∴ he just finds it counterproductive to stress you out while you’re already scared of the surgery ∴ it would get neither of you anywhere good ∴ once you’re in surgery, he’d be anxious as he waited. ∴ he’s check the time and refuse to leave the hospital until the doctor announces you’re safe.

O-Outrage, What makes them angry?

∴ betrayal. ∴ shinsou, when he trusts, he trusts hard. ∴ he puts his faith into them and expects them to stand by his side ∴ so if, for example, you used an insecurity of his against him in an argument. ∴ or cheated on him. ∴ or spilled a secret he told you in confidence ∴ he will be pissed. depending on how bad it was, he’s liable to break up with you. ∴ naturally, once his trust is broken, however, it’s near impossible to fix ∴ so good luck getting your relationship back to how it used to be lol

P-Pressure, What stresses them out to the breaking point?

∴ training ∴ he works hard to better himself to become the best hero possible ∴ but it stresses him out that he’s not improving fast enough, he’s not doing enough, he’s falling behind others ∴ he’s really hard on himself and his drive only makes the thought of failure terrifying to him. ∴ he doesn’t want to fuck up and lose his chance at his dream.

Q- Qualify, What part of themselves do they see as dangerous?

∴ his quirk, naturally. ∴ it’s a pretty dangerous quirk but ∴ truthfully, everyone’s quirk is dangerous in some way. ∴ it’s just that he’s always been trated as if his quirk was the worst possible outcome he could have been born with. ∴ so he feels like his quirk is the Most Dangerous.

R-Rock, What weighs them down?

∴ the idea that his quirk, very well could be a villains quirk. ∴ he worries that he might abuse it by accident and fuck everything up ∴ his quirk is different from combat quirks or rescue quirks ∴ he can control people. he can lock them into their own minds and force their bodies to do anything he wants without having to lift a finger. and there’s nothing they can do it about it. ∴ that scares him. ∴ it’s such a powerful quirk ∴ and it’d be so easy to abuse it ∴ he worries about his own morality at times, due to all the times he’s been called a villain ∴ it makes him doubt himself even though he knows himself better than that.

S-Sorrow, Would they feel empty after your death?

∴ very much so. ∴ shinsou is the type who gives himself completely to relationships ∴ whether it’s platonic or romantic, he puts 100% in. ∴ so to lose someone he had cared for so completely ∴ leaves him with a devastating emptiness ∴ he’s not going to know how to fill the gap your presence left behind for a long time.

T-Time, What if they had a limited time to live?

∴ he wouldn’t panic ∴ he’d spend the time doing everything he needed to do ∴ like see his mother, hang out with his friends, eat his favorite food, spend a night with you ∴ he’d be determined to make sure he wouldn’t regret wasting the time he had left ∴ so he does everything he feels is necessary for having the happiest time that he has left.

U-Urge, How badly do they get the urge to see you after separating?

∴ on a day to day basis, not much ∴ he’s very good at occupying his mind and thinking logically about whether it makes sense to see you or not. ∴ most of the time it’s not. ∴ he’s not the type to go crawling back to his ex unless it’s something he needs to fix with you. ∴ but at night, when he cant sleep ∴ his mind will automatically wander to you ∴ thinking about how it felt when just a few days, weeks, months ago you were curled up beside him in bed.

V-Vent, How do they get rid of feelings they find unnecessary?

∴ he’s actually really damn good at communication ∴ he is so good at just talking things through ∴ it helps him sort his thoughts and it keeps him calm, rather than getting worked up and upset ∴ he prefers to have healthy ways to release his negative emotions

W-Wild card, A random angst headcannon.

∴ when the bullying over his quirk got worse the older he got ∴ as people started to look at him like he was going to harm them ∴ he got frustrated, angry even ∴ he went off on his mom -- blaming her for giving him such a shitty, terrible quirk ∴ he said some extremely hurtful things in his anger ∴ and the picture of his mom’s hurt face over his words drives him insane ∴ to this day, he still feels like he’s trying to make it up to her. ∴ truthfully, it’s been forgiven and forgotten for a long time but ∴ he doesn’t believe he deserves that just yet.

X- X-ray, What makes them transparent? How obvious can they get around something they hate?

∴ you really will not know when this guy hates you ∴ he seems to have mostly just, cold indifference to majority of people ∴ so him hating you; being ignored or treated coldly ∴ will literally not even make you feel hated ∴ it just seems like his default ∴ he’s pretty open about his opinions though ∴ so if you talk about something and ask what he thinks of it ∴ if he hates it, like a movie, he’ll just come right out and say it tbh ∴ so he’s like 50/50 transparent.

Y-Yearning, Do old memories make them yearn for your touch?

∴ yes. ∴ shinsou is the type of guy to look through his phone at old texts and pictures ∴ when he lies in bed at night, he thinks of his fondest memories ∴ he won’t actively seek you out if it’s not logical -- like if you’re an ex. ∴ but if you’re available for him, he’ll seek you out with a deep craving for you. ∴ he wants to make more memories while he can.

Z-Zest, Add your own letters!

[Parents Headcanon] ∴ when he was a baby, his father left him and his mom ∴ that left his mom to take care of a baby all on her own ∴ she was a young mom too, had him pretty early in life; about 18 or so. ∴ so she struggled really badly ∴ he regrets all the trouble he gave her when he was naive to the struggles of parenthood ∴ once he got older and realized how much his mom did for him ∴ he began to work hard around the house so she could relax when she got home from work, cooked dinner, and never asked for anything he didn’t absolutely need ∴ he absolutely adores his mom ∴ and the idea of ever being without her terrifies him.

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#bnha x reader #shinsou x reader #bnha imagines #mha x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou imagines #mha imagines #shinsou.headcanons #bnha.headcanons

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my-never-ending-nightmare · 2 years

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02/03/2022

I cannot begin to tell you how good it feels to finally have January over & done with. It’s always my least favorite month but this year has been especially brutal. Which is a shame, because it started on such a high note after what I wrote here on the 25th of December. Like, it’s exceedingly rare that I can say that I’m totally and unequivocally proud of something I’ve written here but that aforementioned post would certainly be one such time. I always stand by what I say here insofar as it’s a reflection of what I thought/believed/felt at the time and because of that I’d never start deleting shit or trying to cover my tracks when what I think/believe/feel changes – but those things more often than not do change after I’ve written something here. This is the only place I ever actually try to express myself, and in so doing I gain a better understanding of myself & change bc of it. But looking back at that post from the end of December just makes me feel proud of myself for having done such a good job at putting all my thoughts & feelings into words. There’s nothing I’d change about it, at all. There’s shit I might add or things I might clarify, but everything I thought & felt then remains the same today.

So that’s cool lol

But after that things just took a bit of a nosedive honestly. January just contained the perfect storm of events and circumstances to send me into pretty deep depression. Idk, might even just have been bc of how brutally cold it’s been or how short the days have been – but I was not fuckin’ happy at all for a while there. By the end of it, last weekend, I came the closest I’ve yet come to drinking since I quit back in October. And, just like the last time I came close, it was loneliness that nearly pushed me over the edge. It was the social aspect of drinking that I was missing just as much if not more than the actual alcohol itself. And because of that I messaged an old friend of mine and asked what he was doing knowing full well he’d invite me to drink – and he did. But in the end I just turned the invite down and chose loneliness over brief respite & permeant regret. I’m trying to be proud of myself for that much, but I still feel pretty disappointed in myself for even seeking that invite in the first place. Oh well, at least January’s over now and I can just put it in the past. I know that the calendrer date ultimately shouldn’t really mean anything in terms of how I feel but whatever, February feels like a new start and that makes me happy so I’ll take it lol

Speaking of which, last month I finally got a more literal start to a new chapter in my life but it’s honestly been bittersweet. Like, I knew ahead of times that I shouldn’t get my hopes up about what I was expecting to happen or how I thought I would feel but ultimately I couldn’t help myself I guess. Like, it’s weird. Everything’s so different now, yet everything still feels the same. I still feel the same. And that sucks.

The actual day itself was pretty tough, too. Like, I thought I knew everything I needed to know and had seen everything I needed to see regarding something so I was not at all prepared to know what it is I know now. But life goes on, and it’s in the past now. Or, at least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

Hm, what else.. I know there’s more I wanted to mention. Oh shit, yeah. Coincidences. I hate them. It’s something I’ve probably written about multiple times here but every time a rather significant coincidence occurs in my life I always start to overanalyze/overthink it to the extreme. They really bother me bc, in short, part of me always feels like & wants to believe that they happen for a reason/mean something yet the more rational side of me knows that the universe really is just that chaotic, random & meaningless. One of those ideas comforts me, the other does not lol. But the coincidence in question was an especially upsetting one that created a lot of anxiety in me and brought a lot of old feelings and memories back to the forefront of my mind.

Long story short: as far back as 5 or 6 months ago I had begun to worry about something that I was afraid would happen in the not-too-distant future but I dismissed it as anxiety. Yet it bothered me enough that I voiced my concerns to someone nonetheless. And then last month the exact thing I was worried about happened - and it left me feeling sick to my stomach. I hate that something I worried about that long ago - something that never entirely left my mind for that long - ended up turning into reality. I felt guilty about it, as if I had somehow caused it to happen just by thinking about it – I know how crazy that is, yet I couldn’t help it. The whole thing just left me feeling really frightened and stressed out way more than it probably should have – and all the thoughts it gave birth too were even worse – but I feel like I’ve put it behind me now.

The only thing I can’t shake at this point is the feeling that somebody I once knew is like mad at me or something. Idk. Just for various reasons I get the impression that they resent me now or something. It’s been a pretty awful feeling because I really wished that they remembered me as fondly as I remember them, and the thought that they don’t makes me feel pretty horrible about myself. I just wish I knew why. It could just be all in my head, who knows. And maybe I’m not even in their head at all. But it’s not as if I can just ask them bc y’know… somebody I knew, not know. Asking now would just do more harm than good. So I guess it really shouldn’t matter one way or another... right? Well, my rational mind knows that… but my heart doesn’t. And my heart is just a stubborn as my mind can be. It still clings to the past, no matter how much I wish I could make it let go.

I guess I’m just not used to dealing with life sober yet.

It’s hard.

But I still have hope it’ll get easier.

#journal #blog

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attina-the-responsible · 6 years

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JEFF Triton -- Character Sheet

Archetype — The Ruler Birthday — April 25, 1967 Zodiac Sign — Taurus MBTI — ISTJ Enneagram — 6; the Loyalist Temperament — Melancholy Hogwarts House — Huffleclaw (with a Slyth model) Moral Alignment — Lawful Good Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — JODY Triton (nee Poole) Father — Cyrus Triton Mother’s Occupation — homemaker? Father’s Occupation — mer-government? Family Finances — uh all mermaids are rich are mermaids a communist dictatorshiP? Birth Order — Oldest Brothers — None Sisters — JEAN, JUNE, JULY, JANE, JILL, JADE Other Close Family — Octopian, Trent -- brothers in law; Jewel, Jasmine, Jetta, Jem, Jennite, Jasperine, Julia -- nieces; Jordan -- nephew; Athena’s family. Best Friend — Sebastian and Scuttle Other Friends — Mufasa, The Prince ??, Benjamin Enemies — uh humans? lmao Pets — nah fam. Home Life During Childhood — More introverted but still friendly, didn’t get in much trouble (Athena was the #rebel). Kind of a nerd, his sisters’ deaths made him stoic. He loved them a lot and was kind of the peacemaker of them. Liked to explore, spent time collecting things/cleaning. Loved the environment. Town or City Name(s) — Boscombe Reef off the coast of Bournemouth; Swynlake, England What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — it was under the ocean?? do they live in caves?? do they have infrastructure? do mermaids sleep in dens do they have "blankets" (makes no sense) and mirrors and toys??? BUT UH pretty clean and neat?? like if he did have toys and, sure, he had toys, they were always put away. Any Sports or Clubs — mer-debate, mer-student council, stuff like that Favorite Toy or Game — mer-chess, mer-monopoly (and the regular versions) Schooling — fish school? HAHA get it? puns. Favorite Subject — history but also really liked science and finds it v applicable to his job Popular or Loner — was very friendly and had friends, but they were mostly “school” friends. liked to be rather solitary, but lots of people liked him. Important Experiences or Events — his sisters’ deaths, moving to land, marrying/meeting athena, athena’s death, his daughters’ births Nationality — er English? I guess? Culture — Merculture Religion and beliefs — Merreligion

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim — Sean Bean Complexion — had acne and has scars, but otherwise dark, tan, leathery skin and kinda red sometimes Hair Colour — Copper-y brown/red but going grey Eye Colour — Blue Height — 5’10 Build — Stocky and powerful Tattoos — a whale across his chest, multiple smaller ones--probably all the girls’ birthdays somewhere listed under a fancy letter “A” Piercings — had a nip piercing, ear piercings -- still wears ear piercings when dressing up Common Hairstyle — on the longer side but nicely groomed--def going grey but still pretty brown/red, beard is super nicely groomed it is his best feature ofc (alana makes him special beard cream) Clothing Style — DAD™ wears cargo pants, sandals and socks, CROCS, hawaiian shirts, etc Mannerisms — strokes beard when thinking, talks with hands, frowns when deep in thought Usual Expression — resting bitch face, but he’s actually so soft

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — decent, probably gets colds every now and then but overall pretty robust health-wise Physical Ailments — n/a Neurological Conditions — depression, PTSD, anxiety Allergies — seasonal allergies Grooming Habits — rather good, sometimes falls to the wayside bc depression, but mermaids pride themselves on their appearance, esp concerning their hair Sleeping Habits — insomnia which gets worse the more worried he is. Goes and sits in his office a lot at night. Doesn’t sleep very well at all. It makes him tired. Probably falls asleep watching TV in the evenings Eating Habits — eh, he can forget to eat if he’s busy and is a snack addict. But he always has dinner with the girls when he is home. Exercise Habits — not suppppppper active, but he swims which is really good for you, isn’t unhealthy but isnt like JACKED Emotional Stability — about a 7. He’s pretty stable unless the girls are giving him hell or something happens in Swynlake that throws off the sense of safety. Body Temperature — Normalish Sociability — 4-5, pretty average. He has been masquerading as a human for al ong time but sometimes he makes little mistakes and says weird things. Doesn’t really seek out conversation but can hold one very well. Not shy, just quiet. Addictions — uhh coffee probably Drug Use — nah Alcohol Use — occasionally, likes a good craft beer; RARELY gets drunk

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — indulges with food, dwelling on the past Good Habits — good grooming, good listener, organized, quick learner Best Characteristic — the biggest heart, he cares deeply about his fam and community Worst Characteristic — stubborn, suspicious, anxious Worst Memory — his sisters and athena’s death Best Memory — marrying athena! His daughters’ births! Proud of — his daughters, his company Embarrassed by — his daughters -- benjamin probably lol Driving Style — too damn cautious, grandma, soccer moms you if the car stops too fast, Safe Driver ™ Strong Points — resilient, strong, detail-oriented, smart, studious, hard worker, meticulous, community-oriented/family-oriented Temperament — stoic, laidback til u piss him off Attitude — cautious, realistic, lil sassy but like subtle Weakness — his fears and anxieties Fears — losing his daughters Phobias — ?? Secrets — he’s a MERMAID Regrets — not being with athena/being able to save his sisters/wife, def relationships w lana and ariel Feels Vulnerable When — when he doesn’t know what is going on, lack of control, when his girls are upset with him Pet Peeves — littering, not being listened to, putting their feet on the dashboard Conflicts — wants his daughters to be independent v wants them to be safe; family versus community: mermaids are community oriented and it is hard for him to not fully be himseLF and not be useful -- would choose fam over community. Motivation — be a good community leader, keep his daughters safe, give back, keep the lake/ocean/community safe and clean, be a good dad Short Term Goals and Hopes — daughters succeed academically, board stuff, community safe Long Term Goals and Hopes — safe and happy for his fam, WANTS GRANDBABIES Sexuality — heteroflexible/demisexual Exercise Routine — swims p regularly Day or Night Person — wants to be a day person, but his depression/insomnia force him to be a night person Introvert or Extrovert — extroverted introvert Optimist or Pessimist — pessimist with realist leanings

Likes and Styles:

Music — Jimmy Buffet and dad rock, also Jazz Books — biographies! Magazines — nat geo, home improvement magazines, men’s health, takes teen vogue quizzes w the girls Foods — p much likes everything, lots of fish, also likes sweets and junk food Drinks — craft beer, water, coffee Animals — his marine counterpart is a turtle!! But he likes most animals--just not in the house w a bunch of daughters,, Sports — eh not particularly Social Issues — left-leaning on most social issues, but more fiscally conservative. Big running points are always SAFETY SAFETY. Big on environmental stuff Favorite Saying — “if life gives you limes, make margaritas” - Jimmy Buffett Color — Green, like Athena’s eyes /tear Jewelry — wears bracelets, rings, necklaces, mostly hemp and beaded stuff, occasionally metal if Dressing Up Websites — watches TED talks, loves youtube (for animal vids), is that dad that comments on everything on facebooks, decent w the internet bc y’know he runs a company, TV Shows — home improvement, cooking shows, bad reality telly, historical dramas (mad men, house of cards), sitcoms Movies — tbh likes romcoms on the lowkey, hates horror, will watch anything hte girls want (but horror) Greatest Want — keep his family safe, happiness for his girls Greatest Need — learn to let go, safety/security/peace

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — lives in the Woods, five bedroom, three floors, mansion Household furnishings — relatively modern but also homey Favorite Possession — his photo albums and his wedding ring Most Cherished Possession — HIS DAUGHTERS!!! Married Before — to the LOVE OF HIS LIFE Athena Significant Other Before — probably one girlfriend Children — Attina, Andrina, Adella, Arista, Aquata, Alana, Ariel Relationship with Family — has a good relationship with his sister who is still alive and that fam, they live on land these days tho closer to the shore tbh?? They probably work together. Really close with Attina, Andrina, Aquata. Has a good relationship with Arista too. Strained relationships with Ariel and Adella and Alana (in that order of most to least strained lol) Car — 2012 Honda Odyssey in grey -- “The Humpback” Career — CEO of Triton Industries, a nonprofit that works towards ocean clean up. Dream Career — Uh, probably exactly what he is doing tbh Dream Life — being able to move between the land and the ocean freely without fear of repercussion, athena alive, all his daughters happy, retired with grandbabies Love Life — non-existent /tear; tho tbh probably gets hit on all the time. This makes him uncomfortable. Talents or Skills — good at chess, good cook, handy around the house, knows sign language/french/spanish, can sew a bit, play an instrument ?? (something brassy maybe the trumpet or drums) Intelligence Level — 8, he’s v intelligent. Finances — they rich af holla @ sunken treasure

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — uhhh worked in mer-government tbh probabyl like environment conservation Past Lovers — like one girlfriend, he was not very smooth w the ladies Biggest Mistakes — being too controlling, letting athena out of his sight Biggest Achievements — watching attina and adella graduate, all his daughters being safe and (mostly) happy!!, his company, his solid place on the board

#character sheet #featuring triton #triton #inspiration

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thysurveys · 7 years

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726.

Before February 3, 2013 / After August 21, 2017

When did you meet the last female you texted? 20072008 in Science class if I remember correctly. / She gave birth to me, so.

Are you currently looking forward to anything? 50 days. / I am trying to.

Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight? Very. / Yeah.

Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them? Mhmm. / Yeah.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? I do. / Yes.

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? I don’t really know. Personally, I’d say “too much”, or sometimes just not enough. / Too much.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? I still liked my ex, awks. / Kevin.

Who was the last person you went out to eat with? That would have to be Indy, Carolyn, Lauren, Stevan and Petra. / Kevin, I would say.

Your phone is ringing. It’s an ex. What do you say? “…Hi?” I wouldn’t know what to say. / I don’t know what I would say right now. Not a lot.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment? Cliché, wow. He’s at a friend’s. / He’s sleeping beside me.

Were you single on your last birthday? I sure was. / No.

Are you anyone’s first love? Apparently my exes. / I believe I am.

What are the first and last names of the people in your inbox? TMI. / I can’t be bothered.

Did anything brighten up your day today? I don’t really know actually. I’ve been in a content mood most of today so far. :) / Nothing in particular yet.

What is one thing that is currently bothering you? I am beginning to get bored. / Every single thing.

Do you want to cut your hair? I don’t want to, but I know I have to. It’s getting too long. :( / I was going to, but I couldn’t be bothered. But yes. I do.

Do you have any scars? Yeah. / Still yes.

Will you be in a relationship next month? I sure hope so. / Very likely.

Do you remember who you liked three months ago? My current boyfriend. / Still my current boyfriend.

Has someone upset you in the past 48 hours? Yeah. / Not “someone”.

Who is the last person to irritate you? Hahah, oh you know, people. / Myself, probably.

What is the last thing you did before bed last night? Text. / I either spoke to Kevin or watched Netflix.

Is there someone who likes you? I would like to say so considering he’s my boyfriend. / Yeah.

What makes you happy? I don’t really know. There’s a few things. / Just being there for Kevin at the moment. And my boy Archie.

Is your Facebook profile private? Mhmm. / Yes. As private as it can be.

Do you trust people easily? Not even. / No.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? Yeah. / Yes.

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? Yeah. / Yes.

How many true friends do you have? Not many. In fact, next to 0. / I know Kevin is my true friend, and Indy, of course. I don’t speak to a lot of people these days.

Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Sure. / Yes.

First thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Either turn off my alarm, or check my phone. / Most days I turn off my alarm.

Who was the last person that left you a comment? Stevan? / I don’t know.

What’s something you really want right now? I don’t really know. I wouldn’t mind going out. / There’s a lot.

Where do you go when you need to just get away? I sometimes go on a walk, otherwise my room. But that makes me even more depressed. / I don’t really have anywhere to go right now. I usually go to my parents if I need space, but that doesn’t always work. It can make it worse.

Who was the last person to make fun of you? Pft, who knows. / I don’t know, nor do I care.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? Yeah. / Always.

What is something weird you have done lately? I do a lot of weird shit. / I don’t know.

Do you ever wonder if the person standing next to you is a virgin or not? Funnily enough, yes. / I don’t remember the last time I thought that. 2013 was likely the last time? Lol.

Who do you go to for advice the most? Kev, mostly. / Still Kevin. I don’t ask for advice a lot. I am usually good at that myself.

Can money buy happiness? It buys happiness to an extent. But it’s not everything. / Yeah, I mean. It can help. But I rather have friends and family over money.

Do you think women should work or stay at home? Gosh, I’m offended. Work, of course. We’re not home-bound. :\ / I don’t even want to process this question.

What’s the worst thing to happen to you today? Beginning to be bored. / My real estate agent called me to tell me they need to do an inspection (because we’re moving) and I really don’t have any time to be at that house anymore. I’m frustrated. I wish the worst thing to happen to me today was “beginning to be bored”.

Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? Sure. / Yes, 100%.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No. / Nope.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? Maybe. / Not always, no.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? Probably not. / Unlikely.

Last person you kissed name begins with a T, M, L, E? No. / Nope.

Do you like to hula hoop? Not really.. / It’s fun, but I’m not great.

What’s something that can always make you feel better? I don’t really know. Music? / Yeah, definitely music. A movie. Kevin, Archie, a clean house. (lol)

Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now? I currently am. / Nope.

When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Hm, often. / I don’t know. Recently, I’d say.

Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yeah, always. You never know who’s life may need saving. / < I still say that.

Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Um no. / No, I haven’t listened to any music today bc Kevin’s asleep.

What exactly are you wearing now? Denim pull over, with leggins. / Leggings (always), a plain T that says “Be The Boss” and a cardigan.

How often do you listen to music? Daily. / Every second day. Not as often anymore. I don’t have the time or energy.

Do you wear jeans or sweats more? I do not like jeans, nor do I wear sweats. / I don’t wear either still. But definitely jeans more than sweats.

Are you a social or antisocial person? Mixture. / I’m not antisocial. I’m shy.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with an A? Yeah.

What about a T? Mhmm.

Can you drive a stick shift? I have before, but don’t think I could now. / Legally, I am allowed to, yes. But, I can’t.

Do you care if people talk badly about you? I know for sure they do! / Not right now.

Are you going out of town soon? Probably not any time soon, no. / I don’t believe I am, no.

When was the last time you cried? A couple of days ago, quite possibly. / 2 days ago, I think. And nearly last night.

Have you ever told someone you loved them? Mhmm. / Yes.

If you could change your eye colour would you? I kind of like my eye colour. / Maybe.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? I’m sure I’ve answered this? / The fact I have I know I have a lot to do before I go back to work. Even the thought of going back to work right now is annoying me. And just everything. I have to go pick up Darcy’s (my doggy) ashes. :(

Are you dating the last person you talked to? Yeah. / No.

What are you sitting on right now? My bed. / A trundle lol. Bc Kevin’s asleep in the bed behind me.

Does anyone regularly - other than family - tell you they love you? My boyfriend. / Yeah.

Have you ever wanted someone you can’t have? Probably. / Maybe, yes.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Kev.

Do you get a lot of colds? Not really, no. / Not lately, though I did suffer a lot since last October. So I’d say yes. More than often I have.

Where is the shirt you are wearing from? Cotton On. / Kmart.

Does anyone hate you? Whatevs. Love me or hate me, it’s still an obsession. ;) / Maybe?

Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? They’re not hidden. / No.

Do you like watching scary movies? Not particularly. / Sometimes.

Do you want your tongue pierced? Not really, no.

If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? In ways, I would want last year to be deleted from my life. But at the same time I went through a motherfuckin’ psychotic stage, I met someone who means a hell of a lot to me. So, I really don’t know. :\ / I want to say this year, for sure. It has been the worse year of my life thus far but it has taught me a lot too. It has turned me into a better person because of it. So in some ways, I want to keep this year, too. But I don’t know. Yeah, I’d say this year maybe.

Did you have a dream last night? I don’t know. / Every one does, even if you don’t remember it.

When was the last time you told someone you loved em? Last night/early morning. / Last night.

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Probably not in five, give a year or two more. / Maybe?

Do you think someone has feelings for you? I hope so. / Yes.

Did you have a good day yesterday? It went too quick to even recall what I done. / I saw Breanna, so yeah. It was good.

Think back five months ago, were you in a relationship? Yeah. / Yes.

In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? Unlikely. / Kevin’s mum, yes. But she isn’t a “girl”.

Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yeah. / Yes.

What’s the best part about school? I don’t know. I don’t go to school anymore.

Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yeah.

Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I did.

Do you replay things that have happened in your head? You know what, that’s probably why I am fucked up. >< / Yeah.

Is your life anything like it was 2 years ago? Hell no. / Nope. My life has changed dramatically within the last month or two.

What are you supposed to be doing right now? I should clean my room. Should. But no. / Nothing, really. Not until Kevin wakes up.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? Hahah, no. / Nope.

Are you nice to everyone? Too nice. / Yes.

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Mhmm. / Yes.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months and not cheat? Quite possibly. I have currently. :) / Yes.

#surveys #survey #question #questions #quiz #personal #bored #misc

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kuixotic · 7 years

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if possible,all the music asks?

1:A song you like with a color in the title

Yellow-ColdplayI’ve loved this song for a long time and it’s just been a staple of my life,given Coldplay could be considered my top band as well :D

2:A song you like with a number in the title

1985-Bowling For SoupYOU CAN’T TELL ME THIS ISN’T A BANGER

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

Young Volcanoes-Fall Out BoySee this is actually a direct memory to summer because the summer before junior year I actually went to see Fall Out Boy and Paramore.Young Volcanoes was on the setlist and that was an experience I would love to not forget!

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

La La La-Naughty Boy ft.Sam SmithIt’s not like this song brings up bad memories which would make me dislike the song,but the message/attitude reflects the situation I was in with an old friend.You could say the whole situation was (and still is) pretty childish and it kinda goes with the whole ‘covering my ears’ thing that La La La has.

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

LA Devotee-Panic!At The DiscoIt was a heavy tie between this,Planetary GO from MCR,and Death Valley from F.O.B because they are all ‘speeding down the highway on adrenaline and bass boost power at 1AM’ songs.LA Devotee is my headphone testing song lmao

6:A song that makes you want to dance

Dancing Just Like This(mashup between I Don’t Feel Like Dancing and Something Just Like This)-oneboredjeuAt first I never really liked the mashup but then I started listening to it more and it’s just so..happy??You can’t be upset listening to it and you definitely can’t keep yourself from moving.

7:A song to drive to

Death Valley-Fall Out BoyTO VALHALLAAAAAAAAAAAAA

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

Nicotine- Panic!At The DiscoThat guitar motif coupled with that drum beat is so kickass,and then that bass guitar before the chorus GOD YES

9:A song that makes you happy

Les Miserables(medley)- Santa Clara Vanguard 2013 CorpsI’m a DCI nut,so when I saw this on Semi-Finals night in theaters you could only imagine my reaction to the big hit.Goosebumps and the euphoria that followed after is definitely a reason as to why I’m going to keep up with playing music as much as I can.

10:A song that makes you sad

Shenandoah-Frank TicheliOh god.My senior year of band was this song.I don’t cry much from this song but in the times I played during rehearsal and ultimately my last performance assessment,I would be bawling my eyes out in the back of the percussion section.We had a guest clinician come in one day and they told us to play with a lot of emotion for this piece,the last few notes (the open fifths) to consider it almost as if two people were saying ‘goodbye’ to each other.When I was getting ready for graduation processions the band was playing to fill in the time,and they played this song.I was so close to losing it at graduation man.I guess it doesn’t really make me super sad,but it definitely makes me emotional and very sentimental.

11:A song that you never get tired of

Viva La Vida-ColdplayYou can pry this song from my cold dead hands.It’s such a classic,it’s so good.Everything about it is just so GOOD.

12:A song from your preteen years

Dynamite-Taio CruzI think this is right around I got to middle school/end of elementary?This was such a GREAT song growing up.To be quite honest I don’t know why people trash on pop music,it has the capability of just being really fun and feel good music?And it’s not like it’ll take a lot of effort to listen to the song unlike say a classical piece.You just listen and enjoy yourself.

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

Take One Me-AhaIs it because I played this my sophomore year in band?NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAlthough for real this is such a great pop piece,I get happy when it comes on at work and you can definitely catch me trying to hit those high notes and failing.

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

I Know That You Know-Leslie Odom JrAssuming I were to get married,I’d love to dance to this song.Leslie’s voice is just so smooth and gentle and I feel that would be perfect for an intimate moment.Maybe not ‘first dance’ material,but for sure a couple’s dance.It was a bit of a difficult choice between this and Halo by Beyonce but I feel Queen B would be a bit expected.

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

Hey Soul Sister-Lucky ChopsPOSSIBLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE COVERS BY THEM.It’s so fun and energetic!!!Gives me the illusion of walking along the French Quarter of New Orleans following one of those amazing jazz bands.It’s such a pure cover.

16:One of your favorite classical songs

Jupiter,Bringer of Jollity,Gustav HolstJUPITER MY FAVORITE PLANET.For a year or so we would play the chorale section for the homecoming court during a chosen football game every season.I decided to look up the piece one day out of curiosity because hey it’s called The Planets Suite of course I’m gonna go listen.I loooooove Jupiter,while I do love Mars just as much,Jupiter is just perfect and lives up to the name of being jolly.

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

Take Me or Leave Me-RENT soundtrackI can’t sing for the life of me,but this is such a fun song to belt out at 3 AM with a bunch of friends.(at least I’d think so,I haven’t done that c’: )

18:A song from the year that you were born

Barbie Girl-AquaYeah,I WENT THERE.Unironically I would probably jam to this because the beat will get me going lmaoo

19:A song that makes you think about life

Wait For It-Hamilton soundtrackFor as long as I knew of Hamilton(basically end of 2015) this song has been such a motto to me.My senior year was a bit rough in the sense I was growing distant from everyone I knew,as well as finally feeling the weight of my losses the year before as well as pain from that school year.Not to mention I got rejected from my first choice university and had to change plans a lot.The song really changed my outlook on things,and even to this day I heed the advice of waiting for certain things to fall into place.To this day I have an index card right by compute with the words ‘Wait For It’.

20:A song that has many meanings to you

How Far I’ll Go-Moana soundtrack(I’ll be linking the Voctave cover given it’s been what I listen to the most)I mean how can you not decipher a meaning with a song about a young girl trying to follow her desires while living up to the roles and expectations of those around her?Everyone can relate to it.It could be about physical things we want,metaphysical,anything.It could be a song purely about adventure or looking for what you want in life despite not knowing what you’re looking for.

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

Jolene-Dolly Parton(and Pentatonix)I’m no country person but Jolene is a pretty good song.And then a while ago it seems there was an increase of popularity for the song with Miley Cyrus covering the song as well as Pentatonix.

22:A song that moves you forward

Defying Gravity-Wicked soundtrackThis song is so iconic.The first song I heard from this musical and it has SUCH A GREAT MESSAGE.My personal favorite line is “And if I’m flying solo,at least I’m flying free” because as stated earlier,senior year was a little rough (I went through my first breakup after having such a shaky beginning to get it)and so this song is like a positive ‘fuck everything’ view which I was in need of during those times.It’s such a freeing and empowering song especially with Elphaba’s parts.

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

You Will Be Found-Dear Evan Hansen soundtrackI had gone through a rough patch a few weeks ago just feeling really depressed and overall helpless,not wanting to reach out because I didn’t want to drag anyone with me.I felt VERY alone.This song kept popping up in my recommended videos and I gave it a try.Not even through the first stanza and I was in tears.I’ve always turned to music for my issues and rough patches,and this song has been the most effective ‘get-up’ song.When I first heard it I felt extreme comfort and felt things would be alright.It’s my turn-to song,and I really want everyone to hear the song and take the message to heart because it’s such a relatable subject matter and it’s true.We really aren’t alone.Even if you don’t feel you have someone to talk to,you can always turn to something.

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

SING-My Chemical RomanceTo be really honest I knew about the group all through middle school but didn’t listen to them as they weren’t my genre.I had a friend send me this song as one of those ‘comment and I’ll send a song the reminds me of you and why’ things and(as I was a wee freshman just now popping up in orchestra rehearsals bc I was reliable)she told me this song should serve as a confidence boost.Of course,I heard this song after the group broke up but it’d be very nice to have them get together and right up some other things like this song.Not that I have anything against the emo label they have,but this style also suits them pretty well.

25:A song by an artist no longer living

Remember the Time-Michael JacksonI was a good fan of MJ at the rip age of about 8,my sister being the absolute MJ nut of the house and knowing all his songs.We had a Michael Jackson game for the wii similar to Just Dance,all the albums on the house computer,all the movies he was in,we had a friggin database of his discography lmaoI remember hearing about his death,I remember just sitting in the living room while my dad played Man in the Mirror on the computer speakers.His songs were such jams and say what you will but his tunes are legendary.

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

Tus Besos-Juan Luis GuerraMY GOD WHAT A SONG.I remember hearing this once on the radio and enjoying the 50′s/60′s doo-wop feel it had.I found it again after scrolling through youtube and it’s just such a pure song.I feel it really captures the whole notion of “I’m just really in love with you and call me annoying for fawning over you so badly but you’re amazing”.It makes my little heart dance with happiness.(here’s a link to side-by-side lyrics so you can see the original and the english translation :D )

27:A song that breaks your heart

I’ll Cover You(Reprise)-RENT soundtrackIf not for the events preceding this song,the emotion behind it is just so heartwrenching.

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Niagara en Bicicleta-Juan Luis GuerraBACK AT IT AGAIN WITH JUAN LUISI’m Dominican,this man is purely Dominican,everything he sings about is from the Dominican perspective.Don’t get me wrong I love my Puerto Rican salsa but Juan Luis,what a VOICE.It may not be substantial but his voice just has this earthly quality,just like any folk artist out there.I love him so much.(lyrics again because I’m gonna make you all bilingual lmao)

29:A song that you remember from your childhood

Who Let The Dogs Out-Baha MenGiven I first heard this song in a Rugrats movie you already KNOW this was going to be a major part of my childhood!I had a cassette of these guys and this just brings back fond memories of living in Pennsylvania sharing a two story house with my cousin,my other cousins coming over all the time and all of us getting into messes.Good times.

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

Bright-EchosmithIt’s space related.How could I not.The laid back(ness?) of the acoustics is really what I strive to be.This song is laid back,gentle,it kinda has a sense of wonder for space and is a very dreamy song in general.It’s my ideal self I guess I could say,just really laid back,life and wonder back in my eyes,and just a wholehearted love for space.

Wooowee thanks anon!I’ve also created a playlist for this rather than linking every song,as this post would get long very fast.Consider it a personal mixtape of sorts?

#anonymous #answer #this took a good amount of effort and love to put this together #im gonna be listening to this mix a good amount #Anonymous

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tiredbiplantlady · 7 years

Text

posted by celadon-city ASK ME THINGS

bored, tired, passing time, like to narcissistically think about myself

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Texted: Ew wtf, did we get abducted by aliens? Messaged in general on my phone with an app: This is normal

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? Hahah

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? No, and it depends

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? No, 6 exactly

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober, I don’t drink really

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Lol I always mess everything up in relationships

7. What does your last received text say? Text: “It’s almost like mom goes out of her way to watch the worst tv shows” General phone message with an app, which I use far more often than texting: ”yeah”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? I really have no count, hundreds

9. Where was your last kiss at? My apartment

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? Like 10 years ago or something

11. What do you drink in the morning? Water

12. Where did you sleep last night? My bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? Always, lots of the time

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? There are lots of things I would change, but I also accept things being what they are, that led me to the knowledge I now have, which I find valuable

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Not at all

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head, but it’s a pretty common name

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Pajama shorts

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? I really don’t know

20. Does anyone like you? People like me, and sometimes I wonder why when there’s so much not to like

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? I’ve kissed lots of people and come to think of it, no I haven’t, not that I recall

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? No, he’s bi

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? There are lots of people and lots of characteristics people have I can’t fucking stand. Probably shouldn’t say that, but

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? Yeah and I did because I was dumb and 18 and now I have this monstrosity on my back forever. At least I don’t have to look at it, but I can never wear cutout shirts again

25. In the past week have you cried? Yeah, I cry all time. The last cry was in therapy bc my therapist was basically being p fucking confrontational and mean about stuff and I got upset. I’m still upset

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? In real life? I saw some Dalmations days ago, but I think I’ve seen more doggos since then

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? Partially in and partially out if I’m alone

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? I’ve kissed people who played football in the past, but no, I’ve never kissed someone in full out football gear or who was the QB of the team and I was his stereotypical GF or anything like that

29. Do you think you’re old? Nah

30. Do you like text messaging? I like talking through message apps on my phone, texting is the one I use the least though

31. What type of day are you having? I’m still in bed, but I’m anxious and sad

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Yeah, and I did it. Don’t regret it.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm or cool, not cold. Either is ok.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Yes

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? Neither

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? Complicated to the point of not making sense

37. What song are you listening to? I’m not, but the last song I actively chose to listen to was “Doubt” by top

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? Of course...sometimes I just say it too much. Actually I think I’m so used to apologizing for everything from getting in the way even a tiny bit to apologizing for someone having their own feelings that I just spit it out without thinking to try to calm the situation (which kind of feels related to my PTSD, survival mode, saying whatever I have to to get the pressure removed and the threat lessened) and no, it doesn’t mean anything to me because I’m Afraid. It’s not wanting to lie or hurt people, it’s fear 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? Not really, despite being woman-centric and desiring relationships to be closer with women, every person closest to me who knows near-everything about me is a man. Like 4 men are like this in my life and not many women are that close. It’s not because I think I’m “one of the guys” and “better than women” it just happened to work out that way and I probably have some problems feeling that friendships are as important as “romantic relationships” even though I don’t logically value that sentiment, that romantic situations are “better” and also probably some internalized messages that tell me wlw relationships can never be what hetero ones are, again, not because I truly believe it at all but because I’ve been fed that narrative my whole life 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? I like lots of people. If you’re talking about crushes you should be more specific in your language. I don’t have crushes. Not now. I’m too fragile and scared and trying to grow 41. When did you last receive a text message? Last night 42. What is wrong with you right now? Nothing is wrong with ME, but the way my brain functions isn’t always great. I’d say I’m having a depressive episode in combination with some other stuff that is making me feel very easily hurt, reinterpreting harsh words as yelling, feeling like a failure and fearful for the future, and as though my therapist doesn’t like me anymore because I’m not good enough to be well all the time 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? My mom. Well enough. 44. Does anyone disgust you? Lots of people and the things they do disgust me 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? No, I’m not in a good place for new relationships, let alone the ones I’m in 46. Are you in a good mood right now? I don’t have many feelings right now except hurt and fear and anger thinking about therapy the other night and reluctance to go to school today, as well as social repulsion. Being around people right now sounds like the worst thing ever and I’m glad I’m alone 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Kyle last night 48. What color shirt are you wearing? Black, as 90% of the time 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Y U P 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? What the hell kind of question is this? I’m not responsible for ensuring all of my energy goes to any person. I’m not responsible for other people. Maybe it’s my own fault I detect shame in this question 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? What does “giving up on someone” mean, like seriously I have no idea what this means? Because it seems like it means “stop trying to help someone” as a disguise for “trying to make someone want you”. And that kind of repulses me. Does it mean breaking up? If so the way it’s phrased as though it’s the person I’m giving up on as though they don’t matter and mean nothing and not the relationship also repulses me. It’s like, breaking up with someone = telling them they’re not worth your time, which is interpreted as worthlessness and this whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. There have been times I wanted to give up A RELATIONSHIP because I didn’t want to expend energy into that RELATIONSHIP AS IT WAS and would prefer friendship or going our separate ways. I’ve never though “boy, I’m so troubled, I’m thinking about giving up on him because he’s not doing what I want him to do and I’m going to use this as ammunition to make him beg me to stay” like this phrasing is so toxic to me imo, but i guess I’m making a big deal of nothing 53. Do you like rain? Always 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? Not really unless they get drunk, but I feel the same way about my friends. I can’t deal with drunkenness after the things I’ve been through with alcoholics 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yeah, and it was actually better that way. A lot of the time I fantasize and put people on a pedestal and it turns out the fantasy and pretending was a lot more fun than reality and in theory sounded better than it was, and honestly I think I’m still trying to grow in ways I thought I didn’t need to. Deep down I am basically am a commitment-phobe, someone who puts her self-interests first most of the time in relationships, and quite frankly am not ready to even begin considering “settling down”. You think you’re a certain way and then realize you just WANTED it to be true, but it isn’t. I have liked people and it’s better off for the both of us if I never say anything because I’m not ready and I’m self-focused, which you can call selfish if you want, but there’s nothing wrong with being that way unless you portray yourself as a centered good relationship partner, which I fucking have over and over 56. Do you like to cuddle? Sometimes I really feel like I need human touch because I ache and feel deprived and desire comfort. Other times I’m completely repulsed and don’t want anyone to touch me, even the people closest to me 57. Are you shy? I’m anxious 58. Do you get along with girls? I love girls, and yeah 59. Have you dated the person you texted last? LMAO no that’s my brother wtf 60. What do you carry with you at all times? Phone usually, but more often than not it’s dying or dead 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Absolutely, even though I’d piss myself at every sound. I’d do almost anything for a million dollars, that’s money I’ll never see and I could pay off all my student loans, live in a nicer place, take care of my health better, buy a car so I didn’t depend on my dad for anything else.. 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? At this point in my life thinking about relationships stresses me out and I don’t want to think about time duration because I can barely think about next week planning school work, let alone trying to keep a relationship alive when I feel like everything I know is falling apart and I’m having to reconstruct my entire world-view, self-identity and what I’m supposed to do with my life 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Mmhm 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? It’s comforting when I want to be comforted 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Idk, I don’t want to write about things and I don’t want to recall

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? No

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Do it myself 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Zebra 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? No. Well I guess there’s a military one since it was my dad’s car 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? I don’t know who the first person is and I’m not into the second so neither 71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? Android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Like last week 73. Do you like diet soda? I don’t like soda, period 74. What color are the walls in your room? My apartment is all a gray/tan color that I don’t actually mind, but my bedroom at my mom’s house is deep purple 75. Are you 16 or older? Lol yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Nah 77. Do you have a job? Trying to function on a daily basis trying to go to school and communicate with people feels like a job 78. What are your initials? KES 79. Did you ever have braces? I should have, but my mom and dad just didn’t give a fuck about me so 80. Are you from the south? No

81. What does your last status on facebook say? Idk, I mostly just post articles about fucked up political shit 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? We live together so yeah 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? ppffFFFTTTT BHAHAAHA. they’re both fucked 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? No 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? I think it was...The Conjuring 2 86. Do you smoke? No, but I used to fake some cigarillos 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Flipflops 88. Is your phone touch screen? Ofc 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? Whatever it happens to do as it dries. If I sleep on it it usually turns out straight on one side, but my hair is naturally wavy 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Not really, not as a teenager 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? POOL. I grew up in a town where everyone went “swimmin in the lake” and it’s the nastiest, fishiest lake with toxic shit growing in I’ve ever been to and I’m scarred for life 92. Have you ever made out in a car? Yeah 93. …Had sex in a car? Kind of I guess 94. Are you single or in a relationship? Stop asking me about relationships. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Reading on my computer 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? *shrug* last summer probably 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? It does the job 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Several 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Hmm, there are probably a few who annoy the shit out of me 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Lmao, not a real one 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Past Lives 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? I don’t tan, I burn and return to pasty white 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? I would never wear cowboy boots, I don’t need that in my life

#meandmine #alcohol mention//

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