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*Aziraphale ignoring the fact that she can understand English and continues to talk in bad French*
Crowely : why am I in love with this idiot ffs
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The Crows are to the Grishaverse as the Guardians of the Galaxy are to Marvel. Like all the avengers and shadow and bone characters are like “ahh the weight of world is on our shoulders” but all the crows and the guardians just want their goddamn money
I have too much time on my hands and I wanted to prove my point, so enjoy these guardians quotes replaced by the crows characters
Van Eck: [insert long villain monologue here]
Kaz: yeah, blah blah blah but WE’D LIKE TO GET PAID
Inej: The contact is making me wait.
Kaz: That’s just a negotiation tactic - trust me, this is my speciality. Whereas yours is more… stab, stab, stab
Nina: I have no need of the money
Kaz: Well great, more money for the rest of us!
Jesper: What’s that?
Wylan: Don’t touch that, it’s a bomb
Jesper: AND YOU JUST LEAVE IT LYING AROUND!???
Wylan: … well I was gonna put it in a box
Matthias: I’m a warrior, an assassin. I don’t dance.
Nina: Really? Well, in my country we have a legend about people like you. It’s called Footloose. And a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well it’s the greatest thing there is.
Matthias: Who put the sticks up their butts? That is cruel.
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The pipeline was real for me
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SoC's duology: A summary
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Valentines prompt 🕺
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Being a six of crows fan means having a favourite crow but NOT a least favourite
And if you do have a least favourite, you’re wrong.
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“kaz and nina hate each other”
meanwhile kaz and nina
nina:
she cast a last desperate look into the darkness, praying for some sign of kaz. had someone got to him, too?
kaz:
kaz had considered trying to eavesdrop on matthias and brum in the ballroom, but he didn’t want to lose sight of nina when there were so many drüskelle around.
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Just writing Jesper and Wylan's alternative universe first meeting (for about the 3rd fic in a row. As is my right.) and I realised why I love their meeting in the books so much. You get to see the same scene from both POVs and see what the other person saw. In detail. You get to imagine all the sly looks and tension that is there hidden between the lines of what we are actually told was happening. Why else would they both be thinking the same thing?
I am not sure if Leigh Bardugo did that with the other Crow ships but if she did it doesn't stick out in my memory quite so much. If it's there someone remind me.
You have Wylan's real life POV of Jesper:
Colourful, super hot guy enters the tannery, oozing joy and who speaks to him a bit dismissively, subtly asking if he is new in town, offering to squire him around the place even though he acts like it is the most horrible imposition in the world.
...but in Wylan's head...
This man might murder me.
But forget that, OMG HE HAS THE MOST PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!
From an artistic point of view of course. Nothing else. Nothing to see here.
...and in Jesper's head...
ALARM. ALARM.
PRETTY BOY ALERT!!! PRETTY BOY ALERT!!!!
HE LOOKS LIKE A PRINCE.
HE LOOKS LIKE A PRINCE!!!
Man, I wanna kiss him so bad...
But I am Jesper. Cool. Easy going. Suave. Keep yourself together man. Act aloof.
BE COOL!!!!
It is adorable.
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I love the book where the conman who is not reformed in the slightest is hauled into an office by an important man and told "do this for the public good, or else" so he brings his extra special batshit perspective on life to this impossible task that has gotten SEVERAL people killed, and he is being actively plotted against the whole way, largely by an older foil character who is also a conman, and is arguably better at it than him. the book has reflections on what it might mean to be an 'honest' man, and if it's even possible. our conman ultimately wins, because he's the best-worst man for the job-- in part by weaponising the unfair and callous death of a brother, and also by dramatically orchestrating it so major embezzlement and financial crimes are exposed to a large crowd. said man's girlfriend also has pointy things about her person and sees through him like he's transparent. love that book. what's it called? oh. you know
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Inej: First he told me he liked how I looked, and then we had a little…
Nina: *excited*
Inej: Eye contact
Nina: … eye contact?
Inej: mmhmm
Nina: Well, I hope you were using protection
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They’re having a polite argument
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"People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can't rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right."
What if Eddie Munson was like Eric Draven?
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The most valid Wesper fanfics are the ones that make Jesper the biggest trophy husband in all of Ketterdam, it's what he deserves <3
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