Well, it's been three weeks, and apparently it's now a straight shot to the season finale with no breaks in sight, let's go.
Last time on Quantum Leap, Ian caused the plot. Meanwhile, in Hell's Kitchen...
I never had Indian food, I've always wanted to try it.
"You've gotta stop eating the merchandise." Out of context, that's a drug dealer line.
Okay, so that memorial Ben passed was the dad, I had a hunch.
I choose to believe Ian was staring at that drawing for all three weeks.
"Did you leap?" Well, not yet, Magic, catch the fuck up.
Also, I'm pretty fucking sure Ian leaping occurs in the season finale.
"Not you you, just future you." Distinction without a difference.
Meanwhile, Ben's back in the same fucking alley from the 1980s.
OH fuck, why is Ben in 2009...
The editor is having epilepsy.
I love the implication that Addison just knew that off the top of her head, and she didn't need Ziggy for it.
"HEY RANDOM PERSON TALKING TO THEMSELVES, IT'S MUGGING TIME!"
Ah. A landlord. Starting to piece together why the building burned down.
"Look, you want your money, I don't wanna be choked, life's shit for everyone."
Addison, he's clearly fucking lying, keep up.
"This is your last chance. We both know there's a good chance I'm the one who causes the building to catch fire. I ain't fucking around."
...okay, is that foreshadowing that Ben's about to cause this mom's heart attack as well?
"What's all this?" A giant iPad, obviously.
Look, Ian, I get it, you're stressed out about causing the show to happen in the future, but take a breath.
"No one here believes you're a risk. Janis is more of a threat than you, and we still have her locked in the broom closet!"
"We owe $30,000, just get an extension, you're acting like she tried to murder you in the alley!"
"Web-sheb". Not entirely convinced that wasn't supposed to be "web shit".
Oh God, that beast of a computer...
Why is this turning into the plot of Ratatouille?
"They were going to see the pyramids this year." Calling it now, that was supposed to be the episode, but budget cuts happened.
Ben Song: Can handle space, but not family trauma.
Corpse or Sleep?
Sleep.
Bro wants to ditch work to grab sick kicks, right as the mom is experiencing carpal tunnel.
Okay, this really is Hell's Kitchen if all of these conflicts are snowballing into one clump...
I hope "Dimpy" is actually a nickname, but chances are it's not.
Okay, so, let's total it up: Massive debt, stuck on the past, lingering presence of dead father, baby mama drama, skipping work for new shoes, nerve damage, and pride above all else. And a fire as the bow on top.
200 people in 2009, that's basically the end of days.
Someone's about to get slapped.
"See, this is how you react, being upset that I said your dreams are bullshit!"
[This is the most fucking ominous commercial for Airbnb...]
I was so distracted by Ian's sick tattoos, I failed to realize Ian got a subplot this week.
[As a sidenote, my stance is that people are only complaining about the Project subplots because the show is stuck to 42 minutes a pop; not nearly as many people would be complaining if the episodes were a few minutes longer. The Project subplots aren't bad, the episodes are just compact.]
"Didn't you just call me useless?" "Stop focusing on the past!" "Kinda difficult for that!"
"What else you can do to save a restaurant other than bring in new customers?" ...burn it down the the insurance money is my immediate answer, but I don't think that applies this time...
[I was busy blowing my nose, I missed all of Ben's phone call.]
The mom's impatience going to fucking be the death of her.
"Only in America" will wear itself out pretty fucking quick, ma'am. Trust me...
Annnnnnd the heart attack.
...why am I not surprised Ian was a "Pretty Little Liars" fan?
Is it just me, or does she look like Mila Kunis?
And the mom is still on the floor...
And Ben now has PTSD...
"Your mom had an aneurysm. She didn't. Get the fucking first aid kit."
Okay, I have to side with the mom on this one about the world being harsh, but only because she's in 2009, and I'm in 2023, and I know how bad it gets.
Okay, so now it's 300 people, now it's the end times.
Meanwhile in Oregon, I guess...
They're having out at a pizza place, this episode is clearly inspired by Pizza Tower.
The American Dream = Greasy cheese pizza.
Look, to be fair, spicy food has caused lawsuits. Google "Doritos Roulette".
...okay, calling it now, the landlord got impatient.
Can't tell if CGI or actual explosion...
"2% is low, but not zero." Quantum Leap is an educational show.
AND I'm pretty sure I was right about the landlord.
"Just because we don't have a restaurant doesn't mean we don't have a restaurant!"
Ben's about to invent the pop up restaurant.
[Firefox is lagging the fuck out right now.]
I wonder how much money they spent renting out this location, because 100% not a set...
"Everything you do, you do for a good reason." There, you see, Ian's justified in causing the show to happen.
This looks like a wedding reception.
"I tracked down a few weddings-" CALLED IT
All it took for her to let people in was the landlord being a bitch.
"And so a child will lead them", quite literally.
[Seriously, Firefox is taking a minute to finish adding the sentence I typed in 20 seconds.]
All of this sick ass food is making me regret having pasta alfredo for dinner.
"We'll be serving family style." Mic drop.
I swear to God if the landlord is holding up the investor...
"Ironically, he has food poisoning..." That doesn't negate my guess...
Did they just invent Patreon in 2009?
And the landlord is SEETHING off in the distance.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, FUCK YOU KATHY! GO DOWN IN FLAMES LIKE AL CAPONE!
"You two don't need me." Okay, is it bad that I thought she'd immediately have a heart attack then and there?
[It's down to the wire, Firefox is on its last legs...]
And Ben's reward for saying "I love you, Mom"? Playing Battleship with Brandon Routh.
Holy shit, that boat CGI was bad...
[Also, why do I get the suspicion the plot of next week's episode involves preventing World War III?]
Well, I managed to finish the liveblog, in spite of Firefox slowly dying!
Burn in Hell, Kathy.
6 notes
·
View notes