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punkshort · 8 months

Text

Chapter warnings: explicit smut (MDNI), perhaps some slight dubcon, language

Chapter Fifteen

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

May 2004

You jumped and snapped your eyes open when you felt his fingers brush against your cheek. The moon was completely covered by clouds, making it difficult to see your own hand in front of your face. You looked around in the darkness, hearing the crickets and bullfrogs sing from a nearby pond. You sat up in your sleeping bag, rubbing your eyes and yawning.

"Hey," Joel whispered to you, stroking your cheek again. "Your turn." You nodded, even though you were fairly certain he couldn't see you, and unzipped your sleeping bag so you could stand. He put his hand inside yours to help pull you off the forest floor, his eyes more adjusted to the darkness than your own. He handed you the rifle as you rolled your shoulders, trying to wake your body up.

"You good?" he asked, whispering again.

"Yeah," you replied softly, "just more tired than I thought. Go get some sleep." You turned to head a few feet away to the edge of the trees, finding a broken stump to perch on and observe your surroundings as your eyes became more focused. You heard Joel rustling in his sleeping bag as he got comfortable, and then it was silent, except for the soft hum of wildlife around you.

You've been walking for a few weeks, making camp only in the density of the woods, not yet having found any place suitable enough to spend a few nights and recuperate. You were both exhausted from only getting a few hours of sleep each night, not nearly enough for either of you considering how many miles you walked in any given day. The forests were hilly, the was terrain soft and uneven, requiring more effort than usual from your bodies, slowing you down quite a bit. Joel figured you were headed in the direction of Omaha, but he wanted to steer clear of the city proper, so you were trying to keep a path that was further south, closer to the Missouri border.

After the cruel invasion of your little paradise, Joel had speculated that the men who came that day were part of a larger group, likely connected to the men you killed in the parking ramp. He told you at the time he found it odd that all of the sudden some people stumbled upon your little neighborhood when you had been there for several weeks, completely untouched. That the only thing that made sense was they tracked you back to your home, looking for revenge. It scared you to think someone out there had a vendetta against you, that it could cost your lives, but Joel assured you being so far removed from civilization now kept you safe. However, he still insisted on taking turns keeping watch at night, so you wondered just how truthful he was being.

You sighed as you listened to the crickets chirp in the darkness. Joel had left behind the two car batteries he wanted to use for the CB radio, and he mentioned once you found another small town or highway that he wanted to go looking for another one. You knew he was right, that you couldn't continue to live off the land forever, just the two of you. That the chances of finding Tommy were slim to none. And Joel was adamant about staying far away from any QZ. So, the only option left was to find another group of people who you could trust, and he was hoping to find that with his radio.

You patrolled the tree line every 10 minutes or so, not because it was necessary, but because it helped keep you awake You always glanced down at Joel's sleeping face when you passed by him. You were so close to having everything you wanted: the safety of a secluded home with the man you loved. You weren't sure when you realized it, but once you did, it was like you always knew. You kept it to yourself for now. It was the wrong time to bring it up. Maybe once you found someplace safe, someplace semi-permanent, you would tell him how you felt. He didn’t need the distraction right now.

You sat back down on the stump and watched as the sky slowly brightened through the lush tree trunks, then over the tops of the trees before the sun finally peeked through and birds began to sing, making you squint and readjust yourself so you weren't facing the light head-on. You looked back at Joel, still asleep based on the slow rise and fall of his shoulder. Knowing that the extra rest would do him good, you quietly got to work taking out the small kettle and can of coffee, gently removing two mugs from your backpack so they didn't clatter and make noise. There was a small stream nearby where you filled the kettle, as well as your canteens. Resting them next to you on the ground, you got to work starting a fire. It wasn't until Joel smelled the scent of coffee in your mugs that he stirred and turned over, glancing up at the sun in the sky before looking at you, his brows furrowed.

"Shoulda woke me sooner," he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. You reached a mug out in his direction, and he took it from you gratefully, cradling it in both his hands before bringing it to his lips. You took a sip from your own mug before leaning back against a tree.

"You needed the sleep," you told him as he took another sip. "We've been hiking so much, you need to take care of yourself." He met your eyes over the rim of his mug, giving you a smirk before taking a big swig of coffee.

"What?" you asked him, raising an eyebrow. You put your mug on the ground to fish out some granola and a can of fruit. You tossed the items to Joel and leaned back to rest against your tree. He shook his head at you before ripping into the granola package.

"Nothin'," he said, keeping his eyes down on the food, "I was just thinkin', I prefer the way you take care of me..." you smiled, thinking it was such a sweet thing to say before he added, "in more ways than one."

Joel's eyes shot up to yours now, the surprise apparent on your face. The past few weeks have shifted you both into survival mode. Neither of you had attempted to be physical with one another, except for a quick kiss here or a squeeze of a hand there, an unspoken agreement that being out in the woods was dangerous and you needed to be alert. You blushed and looked down at your mug, feeling shy and taken off guard.

When he saw your reaction, he got up from his sleeping bag to come sit next to you, then tilted your chin up with his finger.

"You havin' second thoughts about us?" he asked, wanting it to come off as a joke, but as soon as he said the words, he realized he needed to know the answer.

You gave him a confused frown. Instead of answering, you put your mug down and flipped your leg over his so you were straddling him. Putting your hands on his shoulders, you leaned down and pressed your lips against his mouth, wrapping one hand around his neck to pull him in deeper. He groaned and you took advantage, sliding your tongue alongside his while his hands gripped your waist. He let his head fall back gently against the tree trunk, running his hands up and down your back before resting them on your hips, pushing you down to grind against his cock, still hard from waking up.

You moaned, flipping your head in the other direction and swirling your tongue around his, tasting the crystallized black coffee in his mouth, and tightening the grip you had on his shoulder. Joel began lightly lifting his hips from the ground to rub against you while his kisses became messier. You had to force yourself back to break the contact before things escalated. He whined, trying to chase your mouth with his, but you dodged him, gently pushing his chest so he rested against the tree trunk again.

He looked up at you, his gaze dark and needy, panting softly as he tried to catch his breath.

“Why would you ask me that?” you said, refusing to respond to his hips still grinding into you.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. Guess it’s been a while and it got me wonderin’ if you came to your senses.” He said, his eyes raking down your body and watching the slow roll of his hips against yours.

“What do you mean?” you asked, trying your hardest to stay focused and not let him distract you.

“Y’know,” he shrugged, still looking down at your hips, “that you realized you deserve better.”

He said it so casually, so matter-of-factly, like anyone in the world would understand, that it made your chest ache. You pushed your hips down firmly, pinning him to the ground so he couldn’t continue rubbing himself against your core, and gripped his chin firmly in your fingers, pulling his surprised gaze up to yours.

“Do you really believe that?” you asked, and all he could do was nod, still staring deep into your eyes. You let go of his chin and placed your hands on his shoulders.

“Listen to me,” you began, making sure he was paying attention. “You are all that I want. You are all that I ever wanted. You’ve consumed my every waking thought for the past year, and you think I ‘deserve better’?” You leaned down to press a firm kiss on his lips before murmuring against his mouth. “There is no better than you. You’re perfect.” He shook his head, averting his gaze.

“I’m far from perfect. I fuck everything up, I piss everyone off, and –“ you cut him off, refusing to hear any more.

“I love you, Joel.”

His eyes shot up to yours. All you could hear was the buzzing of insects surrounding you in the woods and the occasional squirrel bouncing in the treetops. You held your breath, waiting for a reaction as he stared at you, his face giving nothing away. You shifted on his lap a little, beginning to feel exposed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you that now, I don’t want to distract you, but –“ Suddenly, Joel sprung forward and pushed you back into the sharp bed of pine needles on the forest floor and covered you with his body as he plunged his tongue into your mouth with a greater sense of urgency than before, his hand tangling in your hair. You were having trouble keeping pace with the unexpected response, so you resigned yourself to laying there with your hands on his jaw and waist while he feasted on your mouth in a frenzy. He broke the kiss, leaning back and swiped mindlessly at your shirt, trying to unbutton it but his fingers wouldn’t cooperate. You moved his hands away so he wouldn’t tear the buttons off and ruin the flannel, undoing them quickly and leaving the shirt open but still covering your breasts while he yanked at the zipper on your jeans, pulling them over your hips desperately.

“Joel,” you gasped, looking around the forest as he pulled your jeans all the way off. “We should wait, we should find a safe place, we can’t – oh!” your back arched off the ground when you felt his tongue lick a stripe all the way from your folds to your clit. He focused his mouth on your bundle of nerves, sucking it into his mouth before traveling back down to your center and darting his tongue inside you, moaning when you clenched around him. The vibrations made your jaw hang open, a silent scream on your lips as you rocked yourself up and down to the rhythm he set, the scruff of his beard making the sensation on your cunt so intense it was making you see stars. He brought his mouth back up as he inserted one finger inside you, then two, while his tongue swirled around your clit. He must have noticed your reaction to the vibrations from his voice because he moaned against you over and over until you grabbed at his hair and pulled, stifling a scream as you came, still hyper aware you were exposed in the middle of the woods.

Joel slowed his pace as you came down, removing his fingers from your pussy and popping them in his glistening mouth with a smirk. You gasped for air as you watched him, still unsure how he managed to get you in this position so quickly. You glanced at the trees around you again, making sure no infected or people were nearby, before your gaze landed back on Joel right as he was pushing his jeans down past his knees, freeing his cock and fisting himself as he looked at you.

“This is too risky,” you whispered to him, but he shook his head.

“Don’t care,” he replied, bending down to push his lips against your mouth, tasting yourself as he ran his tongue alongside yours. You whined as he pulled back so he could line himself up with your entrance, applying the slightest bit of pressure before he let go and fell back on his arms to hover above you. He flicked your flannel open, revealing your breasts to him, and he brought a hand up to gently caress one in his palm, rolling a nipple between his fingers. You squirmed below him, desperate now to feel him inside.

“Say it again,” he commanded, giving you a look you had only seen given to colleagues in meetings, a look that meant he was not fucking around.

“I-I love you,” you stammered, unable to look away from his heated gaze. His eyes fluttered shut and he groaned, then in one swift motion, pushed his throbbing cock into you, making you squeeze your eyes shut and bite back a cry as your cunt fluttered around him, trying to adjust to his size. He hardly gave you any time to acclimate before his hips were thrusting into you steadily. Not too fast, but not the slow, languid thrusts he gifted you the first time you slept together. You gripped his back, your nails digging into his muscle as his pace increased, his gasps and groans absorbed by your throat where his mouth rested. He brought his hand down to grab your knee and pulled it up to your chest like before, causing a small cry to escape your lips as the angle changed to where he could hit that spot deep inside.

“J-Joel,” you stuttered, tears forming in your eyes. “I’m close, I’m gonna – oh, god, fuck - I’m gonna,” you shut your eyes, unable to finish your sentence as you felt the wave of euphoria begin to rise.

“Say it one more time,” he grunted, his jaw clenched as he slammed into you, watching your face closely. “Say it again when you come on my cock.”

“I love you,” you whimpered softly as you felt that familiar wave wash over you and you stilled under him, tilting your head back with your eyes squeezed shut and mouth agape as you tried your best to be quiet. Joel’s movements became unsteady as he watched you come undone. The sight, combined with your admission, made him so lost in the moment that he almost forgot to pull out, spilling himself with a harsh grunt all over your thighs and the pine needles underneath you at the last second.

“Fuck,” he whispered, gasping for breath as he looked down at his seed painting your legs before tipping his head backwards towards the sky, trying to get ahold of himself.

You gripped at the edges of your flannel, pulling it shut as he kneeled between your legs, head still tilted back. You took another cursory glance around you before settling back on him, his eyes closed, and his head now slumped forward. You didn’t mean for the words to slip out, but you sensed in that moment of insecurity he needed the confirmation. You knew it was too soon, that you shouldn’t expect a response, but you were still embarrassed. You closed your eyes, regret invading your mind, as you waited for him to get up so you could clean yourself. Then you felt a cloth gently sweeping across your thighs, and you looked down to see he had fished a rag out of his jeans. He tossed it to the side and then looked at you, your eyes finally meeting once again. You grew uncomfortable under his gaze and began shifting your eyes around, hoping he would stand so you could pull your pants back up, feeling way too open.

“I love you, too,” he said softly, like he was reading your mind, and your eyes darted back to his immediately. You bit your lip to hold back a smile, but he saw it, and a grin spread over his face. He reached down to pull your underwear and jeans back up, and you lifted your hips so you could zip your pants before getting to work on buttoning your flannel.

You sat up and reached for your coffee, now cold in your mug, but you didn't care. You both sat in a comfortable silence sipping from your mugs, his arm draped around your shoulders. If you closed your eyes and focused, you could pretend you were sitting on the front porch of the white house with blue shutters, enjoying your morning coffee together in peace.

You were standing watch on a small highway that curved through the forest while Joel rummaged through a cluster of abandoned cars, checking under the hoods for a useable battery. You looked up and down the road, seeing nothing but a few squirrels and birds swooping down to peck at the ground. You turned back to check on him, smiling as Joel's face scrunched in concentration, twisting the knobs on the transceiver before holding the microphone up to his ear. He smirked, his features relaxing, before looking up at you.

"I got static," he told you, twisting the knobs again before cupping the receiver around his ear. He looked at the terrain around you before shutting the radio off and shoving both items in his pack, handing you a few of his things so he could make room. He zipped his backpack up and slung it around his shoulders, squinting at the trees again.

"We gotta get out of these hills, won't get much of a signal up here, too much blocking it," he explained, spreading his arm out to indicate the thick forest around you. He looked back down at you now, your brows furrowed with worry. He bent down to capture his lips over yours, massaging them gently before pulling away and using his thumb to smooth the frown from your forehead.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm gonna find us somewhere safe. Maybe even find us a house one day," he murmured, running his thumb over your lower lip before letting his hand fall to his side, dropping his head down to give you a reassuring look. You smiled back at him as you followed him down the road, leading you out of the hills and through the trees. You knew he was trying his best, but you were still worried about being around other people. So far, your interactions have not been very positive, and your trust in strangers was quickly waning. But you trusted Joel, and you knew he wouldn't lead you anywhere that was unsafe, so you carried on and followed him down the road. After a few hours, you found yourselves overlooking the edge of a huge cliff, leaning up against the guardrail to admire the tall pine trees below.

"Wow," you muttered, glancing down before taking a tentative step backwards. "We're higher up than I thought."

Joel was digging in his pack to pull the battery and radio out, tuning the dials to see if he could pick anything up. All you heard was static. You turned around to face the road, kicking a small stone and watching it skip across the pavement. You noticed the shadow of a bird fly over the road, and you glanced up to see a big hawk circling overhead, no doubt hunting for some lunch. You shrugged your pack from your shoulders and rummaged around for some beef jerky and dried fruit, listening to Joel mutter to himself as he turned the dials. Perching on a big rock, you took a bite of food and swiveled your head around, making sure the coast was still clear. You nearly choked on your dried peach when you heard a broken voice come through on the radio, your eyes shooting up to meet each other in shock.

You jumped down from the rock, your meal forgotten, as you jogged over to where he was crouched and bent down to try to make out the message. After a few minutes with no success, only able to make out a word or two, Joel turned the radio off and repacked it, sliding the backpack over his shoulders.

"We gotta keep moving, maybe the further down we go, we can pick up a better signal. C'mon," he said excitedly, turning to walk down the road as you ran back to snatch up your bow, pack and your bag of food, pushing the anxiety from your mind.

He kept pulling the radio back out every half hour or so, trying to see if the signal was clearer before continuing forward. It was getting late, you could see the sun glowing orange as it dipped below the trees. You were tired. Your feet and back hurt, and you weren't far enough into the forest to make a safe campsite.

"Joel?" You called out to him, ten feet ahead, mind still focused on the radio call. "Joel?" You tried again, louder this time. He swiveled around to you, his forehead creased.

"We gotta stop soon, find a place to set up camp," you said, peering through the forest which was quickly becoming dark.

"Just a little further, I think if we make it past this next bend in the road, I might be able to hear it," he said, turning back around before you stopped him, saying his name more firmly now, becoming frustrated.

"We can try tomorrow, c'mon, I'm tired," you said, your eyes pleading. He sighed and looked around for the first time, realizing how quickly it was becoming dark.

"Ok, let's go," he huffed, leading you into the woods. It was worrying you how fixated he was becoming on this radio call, like it was the answer to his prayers. Joel was quiet and lost in thought as he set up camp, hardly sparing a glance your way until he volunteered to take first watch. He picked up his rifle and headed a few yards out, clutching his flashlight in his hand and anxiously tapping his foot on the ground.

"Joel?" you said quietly, walking up behind him. He turned briefly to look at you before turning his attention back to the trees. "Can we talk about this?" you questioned hesitantly.

"What about it?" he replied gruffly, still turned away.

"I just want to manage your expectations; it might not be what you think it is. It could be a trap, or it could be the military. We don't know -" Joel cut you off, turning around to face you, his gaze dark.

"You don't wanna do this." He meant it to sound like a question, but it was more of a statement, like he already knew the answer. "I get it. We've had some bad run-ins, but we gotta try. We can't keep wanderin' around forever, and I ain't gettin' stuck in a QZ." His jaw ticked in frustration, wishing you would get on board with this plan.

"Remind me again why we don't want to go to a QZ," you retorted, narrowing your eyes at him. He sighed and rolled his eyes, your point proven. People are capable of terrible things.

"Yeah, I know, but we gotta believe there's some good out there. We need a community, people to help build a life again," he pleaded, reaching an arm out to you. You paused before reluctantly placing your hand in his palm, but you still refused to step towards him. He gave your hand a gentle tug and brought you forward to wrap his arms around you, kissing the crown of your head.

"Do you trust me?" he asked you, his lips pressed against the top of your head. You nodded before pushing away from him to head back to your sleeping bag, but not before calling over your shoulder, "You better be right, Miller."

He smirked and turned back towards the dense forest as you buried yourself inside your sleeping bag, the sounds of crickets lulling you to sleep.

The next day was rainy as you made your way further down the hill. Joel took mercy on you and waited until he had found a spot that was covered with some trees so you weren't standing in the pouring rain while he tested the radio. He knew you were concerned about what this next phase could bring, that you missed the little neighborhood you were forced to leave so suddenly. He didn't share with you his real reason for his obsession with finding a safe haven. Ever since you had to leave the house in a rush a few weeks ago, his anxiety has been borderline unmanageable. All he could focus on was what would have happened if it wasn't storming, if he didn't come back to the house exactly when he did. There had been too many close calls in the past few months, and he was realizing his ability to keep you safe would only get worse with age. The thought of putting you in harm’s way was eating him alive and keeping him up at night. Sometimes, he could feel his anxiety creeping up so badly that his chest began to ache, and his breathing became irregular. He didn't want to worry you and he knew you would just argue that you could defend yourself, so he kept these thoughts to himself and just focused on finding someplace permanent to live.

He got the radio to the right frequency when he finally heard the message clearer than he had the day before. You turned your head to stare at the radio as you heard the recording of a woman's voice say there was safety to be found at the Kansas City University dormitories, that there was a small group of survivors there welcoming all others. It gave directions on which dorm they were residing in before the recording stopped, then the message started over after about 20 seconds of silence.

He listened to it twice before turning it off, avoiding your stare as he packed the radio back in his bag. You remained silent. You expressed your concerns yesterday, there wasn't much point in repeating it. Joel took his map out to double check the route before continuing down the road to hook up with I-29. You walked in silence in the heavy rain for hours until you found an overpass to hide under and eat.

You kept your gaze focused on your food, fuming silently to yourself. Of course the message said exactly what he wanted to hear. You felt like you were the only one thinking logically, that maybe these people were already dead, or they were trying to lure you into a trap to steal your weapons and food. It was unlike Joel to be so willing to walk into a potentially dangerous situation like this, and you were starting to get angry.

"Alright, out with it," he said, feeling the tension and clearly annoyed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you replied flatly, your eyes still fixed on your food.

"Don't play games with me," he said, his voice raising a bit. Why couldn't you see this was the best option? Why couldn't you just understand?

Pissed, you flicked your empty bag of food on the ground and stood up to glare at him, nostrils flaring.

"I already told you, Joel. I'm scared this isn't what you think it is. Why would they broadcast their location like that? Anybody could run up on them and steal their shit, kill them all. That doesn't cross your mind as strange?" you said through clenched teeth. He stood up now, his anger setting in. "What the hell's going on with you? Weren't you the one who told me not to be naive? Not everyone's telling the truth?"

"'What the hell's goin' on with me?'" He repeated, his fist clenched at his side. "I'll tell you what's goin' on with me. I'm fuckin' scared! I hardly know what I'm doin' out here, and I'm scared to death I'm gonna get you killed. Is that what you want to hear?" he yelled. He could feel his chest begin to tighten again but he ignored it. "And don't go tellin' me you can take care of yourself, I know you can, but there's too much at stake. If I lose you, it'll fuckin' kill me, do you get that?!" He grabbed your arms and gave you a shake, his outburst surprising you.

You stared at each other as his words settled over you. You could see in his eyes that he really was scared, that he was desperate, pleading with you to go through with this. You sighed as you felt the anger begin to dissipate. Maybe there was a compromise. You wriggled out from his grasp and took a step back, his arms falling to his sides.

Joel continued to stare at you, his eyes wide and panicky, determined to convince you. Over his shoulder you picked up some sluggish movement. Your eyes flicked from him to the runner lumbering towards you, his back still turned. You whipped the bow from behind you and grabbed an arrow sticking out of your backpack.

"Move," you muttered as you drew the arrow back. He shifted to the side and turned to see the infected ambling towards him, picking up speed. You lodged an arrow right between its eyes, your arms falling heavy to your side. You hung your head before bringing your chin up to look at him.

"Fine," you succumbed. "On one condition."

"Name it," he said eagerly, his chest relaxing.

"We watch them for a few days, or however long it takes for me to be good with this. We don't just go walking up and knocking on their door." You slung the bow across your back and walked a few feet to pull your arrow from the runner's skull.

"Done," he said, unable to hide the relief in his voice. "If anything feels off, we keep goin'. I promise."

You rolled your eyes, mostly teasing, but still annoyed with him.

"Come on, let's get going. We have to find somewhere to set up camp soon." You turned on your heel and left the cover of the overpass, Joel following shortly behind after a quick glance at his map. The thruway led you both through a massive nature preserve until you had found a small shelter that appeared to be a welcome center for the park. If it weren't for the thruway narrowly carving its way through the dense forest, you would be in the middle of nowhere. You were soaked to the bone and thrilled to find a place with a roof for the night. Joel didn't want to start a fire til the morning, so you had to make do with draping your wet clothes over the counters, hoping they would dry, and putting on layers before tucking yourself into your sleeping bag. Since you weren't as exposed now, Joel didn't think it was necessary to take watch. It would be the first time either of you got to sleep through the night in weeks. You buried your face and turned on your side, but right before you fell asleep, you felt Joel's arm snake around your waist and pull you closer to him across the floor, spooning you through your sleeping bags.

Kansas City, MO

You looked through the rifle scope at the Oak Street dormitory from your perch in a park across Brush Creek. The trees kept you mostly hidden, but you couldn’t get very high to get a good look at the place. Joel was hesitant to venture closer into the city, and you agreed that you felt safer in the confines of a park, surrounded by nature like you had become accustomed. It was your fourth day observing the dorms. You could see some movement through the windows from time to time, but they were smart: they kept their movements to a minimum and kept as many windows as possible covered. You had seen a couple men come outside with assault rifles doing what looked like regular perimeter checks, but aside from that, you hardly saw anyone. You had a pit in your stomach about this. You really hoped that when you got here, something would have convinced you that it was a good decision, that these people were trustworthy, but so far all you could tell was they were very good at staying quiet.

You sighed and leaned back, giving Joel the rifle and rolling your shoulder, tense from hovering over the gun all morning. He peered through the scope but saw the same thing as you, which wasn’t much. He had been patient and didn’t push you, he wanted this to work out so desperately, but he knew you had to come around on your own. You picked at your fingernails as you stared straight ahead past the creek to the building, trying to rationalize why this would be a good idea.

“I don’t know about this, Joel,” you admitted, chewing your lip and still staring at the building. “On one hand, they keep a low profile, but on the other, I can’t get an idea of what we would be dealing with.”

He nodded, his gaze falling to the ground, and he rubbed his chest. He wasn’t sure if you would find another community for a long time, and he was terrified of what could happen by then. You studied his face as he stared at the ground, feeling guilty for being doubtful. You understood his concerns, and you trusted him, but your gut was telling you something was off. You reached your hand out to take his, and he lifted his eyes to look at you questioningly.

“If you think it’s a good idea, I’ll do it,” you told him, stifling the nagging feeling in the back of your mind. His eyes crinkled as his face broke out into a smile, grabbing you and pulling you into a deep kiss, trying to express his gratitude. You pulled away and held his hand again.

“You can’t leave me alone, though. Not until I feel comfortable. It’s still us or them, right?” you told him, gazing urgently into his eyes, your grip on his hand tightening. He nodded aggressively.

“I won’t leave you, sweetheart. We’re in this together.” He leaned forward and planted another kiss before pulling back and gripping your face in his hands. “This’ll be good, I know it.”

You walked up to the building, unarmed with your hands raised. The area was quiet, you didn’t hear any sounds of infected, gunshots, or people, which put your mind at ease a bit. The door swung open and three men came out, aiming their rifles in your direction.

“Freeze!” one with dark black hair and thick eyebrows shouted. You did as you were told, raising your hands even higher as they approached you. When they got closer, the dark-haired man spoke up.

“What’s your business here?” he asked, eyeing your weapons but not making a move to take them.

“We heard your call over the radio, we’re lookin' for a community, just a couple of survivors.” Joel told them. You continued to stare straight ahead into the dark-haired man’s eyes. He turned his mouth to his shoulder where a walkie talkie was fastened, and he let whoever was on the other end know they had two survivors looking for asylum. He listened to his earpiece and nodded, lowering his weapons.

“You need to hand over your guns, then you can come with us. Meet the leadership. When they deem it acceptable, they’ll give you rooms.” He told you both, reaching his hand out expectantly for your weapons. You glanced at Joel nervously but did as the man said and tossed your knives, bow and handgun on the ground in between you as the two other men scooped them up. You lowered your hands as they ushered you into the building, one skinny man with reddish hair in front of you, leading the way, and the other two behind you, keeping a close eye on your movements.

The man knocked on a door on the second floor, only entering when he heard the acknowledgement from within. The door pushed open and you followed Joel into the room, standing beside him as the two men remained stationed at the door, their eyes still trained on the both of you. The redhead spoke up to a small group of people who were huddled around a desk examining a map.

“These are the two we saw approaching the doors,” he said, stepping aside so the leaders could survey you. You felt Joel stiffen beside you, but you weren’t sure why. There were four older men and one younger blonde woman, who immediately fixed her gaze onto Joel and the corner of her mouth pulled into a smirk. You turned your head to look at Joel, his jaw locked and he was frowning, staring daggers into the blonde woman.

“Joel!” she exclaimed softly, looking back in her direction as you heard him swallow roughly next to you.

“Amy,” he replied coldly, and you felt your stomach drop.

Chapter Sixteen

Tag list: @chiogarza, @sparklejumpropequeen-777, @shotgun-shelby

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller series #joel x reader #joel x reader smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us game #the way we were joel miller fic

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janmisali · 1 year

Text

FAQ

Q: wow, you're on tumblr?

A: that's not a question, but yeah, this is the Official blog of youtuber jan Misali. I also have my main blog @hbmmaster where I reblog stuff and make more low-effort text posts.

Q: wait, you're on youtube?

A: yeah, I make videos. for new viewers I recommend checking out the best of jan Misali playlist. for people who already watch and enjoy my videos I recommend watching my inspiration playlist, which is a curated selection of videos I personally keep finding myself coming back to.

Q: can you put your name and pronouns in this FAQ?

A: you can call me Mitch, jan Misali, or Misali. "jan" works too, just make sure not to capitalize it. I use he/they pronouns, with no strong preference between the two sets.

Q: when is [video you've announced] coming?

A: by asking this, you have delayed it by another month. sorry!

Q: when is [series that hasn't had a new installment in a while] returning?

A: when I want to go back to working on it, and no sooner

Q: are you going to make a video about [thing you mentioned in a post]?

A: no. some things are just posts

Q: I want to make something based on something you made. is that okay?

A: I'm not a cop. I broadly approve of any stuff people make that's derivative of my own work, as long as I'm given the appropriate amount of credit for it and you tell me about it once it's posted somewhere so I can see it. the only exceptions to this are if you're like just fully reuploading something I made (not cool!) or if it's something I'd disapprove of even if it wasn't derivative of my work (do not write fanfiction with me in it, or like, south park character AI covers of song translations I've made).

Q: you're into languages, right? how many languages do you speak?

A: none

Q: what font do you use in your videos?

A: Noto Serif

Q: what software do you use to make videos?

A: Google Slides and Audacity

Q: can you reblog the scoobypost again?

A: only if you ask nicely.

questions about "the /hj tone indicator is worse than useless" (March 2023)

Q: I think what /hj (half-joking) is supposed to mean is...

A: the reason I find /hj confusing is not, in fact, that not enough people have told me their own personal definitions of what they think it means. I do not need or want to hear any more, thank you.

Q: I think I get what the /oj anon was saying, it's something like...

A: I am not exaggerating by saying that I spent years coming up with interpretations of what the /oj anon could have meant. there is a 0% chance that I haven't at some point considered the exact interpretation you're suggesting. if you want to share your interpretation with someone, find a different person who thinks they understand it and tell them instead of me.

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perfectsunlight · 11 months

Text

𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮

𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞́ 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, cheating, insecurities.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5,233

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you and rosé have been broken up for months now. but when rumors suddenly spread of your ex and a new lover, you can't help but wonder if she gets deja vu.

𝐚/𝐧: this was the first kpop fic i ever wrote back in 2021. i didn't finish it until this year. i hope u all enjoy this ancient work lol

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend, they went crazy.

you, this seemingly mysterious american actress, and none other than blackpink's own rosé. the media had fabricated their own stories of how you two had met, as well as playing some sort of a guessing game to see how long your relationship has been going for. some journalists were brave enough to even try and pin an expiration date on your relationship, but you and your girlfriend simply found the whole ordeal entertaining.

when the world found out about you and your idol girlfriend's breakup, they completely lost it.

thousands of comments, numerous phone calls, as well as the mobs of the paparazzi, followed you everywhere you went. the media once again fabricated stories to try and create even more drama, and with the paparazzi practically hounding you for answers, it felt like the end of the world all over again. except this time, you were on your own.

"y/n l/n!" "over here!" "y/n, are the rumors true?" "y/n, can we get a statement from you?"

your nails dug into your palms as you increased your walking pace, trying your best to navigate through the seemingly never-ending sea of blinding flashes. it had only been two weeks since the breakup, and somehow everyone and their mother seemed to know about it. even through your sunglasses, you still had a hard time figuring out the quickest route to escape all of this.

you couldn't help but wonder how rosé was dealing with all of this. usually, the two of you would be able to tiptoe around the paparazzi and journalists. the media hounded you both once yg released a statement confirming your relationship. yet, somehow, you guys managed to avoid everything the majority of the time, and during the few occurrences that you both were caught off guard, having each other there helped make the anxiety-inducing experience more tolerable.

a car door opened for you and you quickly sat down inside, physically exhaling a breath you didn't realize you had been holding in. leaning your head back against the seat, your eyes slipped close. even through the tinted windows and your shut eyes, you could still see the flashing lights.

you could also still hear their voices.

"l/n, what was the cause of the breakup?" "y/n, why were you not at rosé's party?" "are you and rosé officially over?"

tears began to form at the corners of your eyes, and even though the car windows were tinted, you feared the thought of any image of you crying being plastered all over the internet. you couldn't let the world see you like this.

more specifically, you couldn't let park chaeyoung see you like this.

you didn't have her at your side anymore, but you knew she was not free from the wrath of the public at the moment either. your breakup came unexpectedly. after nearly a year and a half together, your agencies had announced that you called it quits. your relationship was going so well, and the public adored you two. but of course, it wasn't like your relationship had always been smooth sailing.

as a matter of fact, it was anything but smooth sailing.

relationships take work, but relationships with an international superstar require exponentially more work. you were an actress, but not on the level of rosie's status. the first time you met your now ex-girlfriend was about a year after blackpink had debuted. your agency had flown you out to south korea for filming a few scenes for a new upcoming movie. when yg caught wind of your arrival, they immediately reached out and offered to give you a tour of their offices, as well as introduce you to some of their own notable people in the entertainment industry.

you were simply there to make new connections, but when you first arrived, you immediately ended up getting lost.

and that's when you bumped into her. literally.

"i am so, so sorry."

your ears perked up at the recognizable accent that came from the girl in front of you. she was definitely not originally from korea. "it's alright, i should have been paying more attention to where i had been going." flashing a small smile, you tried your best to assure her that it was also your fault.

the other girl visibly relaxed at your comment, returning the smile you threw her way. "you look a little lost. do you need help finding someone? or a specific room? i'd be happy to help."

relief washed over you as you gave her a few nods. "that would be wonderful, thank you so much."

you stuck your hand out in front of you, smiling brightly. "i’m y/n."

the other girl grinned and mirrored your actions, firmly grasping her hand with yours.

"rosé."

you never planned on befriending the idol who helped you navigate yg's building. yet, somehow, you two managed to develop somewhat of a friendship over time. she would call you in between her practices, and you were there, always eager to listen to her. you would often do the same as well, sending her snaps or little texts throughout your day in between filming scenes.

she knew about your aspirations and dreams, the way you liked your coffee, the way you had a fear of spiders. you knew about her struggles as a trainee, how she loved to play the guitar almost all the time, and her favorite spicy foods.

the both of you seemed to grow closer and closer everyday, and before you knew it, you were slowly starting to fall for the girl.

after all, it wasn't hard to fall for someone like rosé. she was beautiful, talented, and so kindhearted. you admired her passion for music, and every once in a while, she would even offer to bring you over so you could meet the other members of the group. you would have loved to take her up on that offer, and as much as rosie hated to admit it, you two were just so busy to even meet up for a bite to eat.

your friendship became somewhat strained as blackpink began to gain traction internationally, along with your own career gaining more attention as well. soon enough, your almost daily interactions turned into once a week conversations, until they became a few short texts every once in a while.

yet, little did you know, the idol was also slowly falling for you. jisoo was the first to notice it, and of course lisa was the first to make fun of her for it. jennie tried her best to keep the maknae in line, but it was most often to no avail. rosé was more than aware of how her company would react if they found out, and she knew that she couldn't risk potentially damaging her career right now. but she couldn't help it. after all, you were the only person she could think about, even during your absence from each other.

a few months had passed by, and the two of you haven't really spoken to each other at all. it wasn't anyone's fault really, especially once your movie was nearing its release date and with blackpink just dropping their newest track, "ddu-du ddu-du". about a week and a half before its release worldwide, your agency had decided to hold a movie premiere in new york city.

"y/n! over here!" "look this way!" "you look stunning, l/n!"

fitted in the most exquisite emerald-colored dress, you made your way across the red carpet. you waved and stopped to pose for a few moments before getting ushered into the building. chatter buzzed through the building as everyone conversed with each other. you and your co-stars had been engaging in your own discussions when suddenly louder cheering and shouting was heard from outside.

despite the pandemonium occurring outside, one name they were shouting was clearer than crystal to you. immediately turning around as the doors opened, you couldn't help but smile with pride at the attention that the group had brought with them. rosé's eyes immediately scanned the room, but she didn't have to look long before you began walking towards her.

the now blonde girl let out the most contagious laugh as she practically threw her arms around you. you two were practically jumping up and down, causing the other three members of blackpink to laugh at your antics.

"y/n/n! it's been forever!" rosie's hands stayed wrapped around your waist, while yours stayed on top of her shoulders. rosé couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach when she looked at you, and you couldn't stop smiling at how excited she was to see you. "i know! i've just been so busy, but so have you! you all are doing such an amazing job." you complimented as you turned your head towards the other girls.

rosé properly introduced you to the other girls in the group; jisoo, jennie, and lisa. the five of you chatted away about everything and anything, up until each of your managers ushered you all to your seats for the premiere. fortunately, blackpink was seated on the aisle to the left of you and your cast members. part of the australian wanted to just move the other actors next to you out of the way so she could sit beside you, but she knew better than that.

throughout the whole movie, you two kept stealing glances at each other. jennie even had to tell rosie to stop "drooling" over you and watch your movie. the only thing your manager told you was to use this opportunity to "strengthen connections”

it wasn't until the afterparty that things got more interesting for you two.

after a few drinks and lots of dancing, you and everyone else there were drunk out of your minds. the only people who were less intoxicated were jisoo and each of your managers. jisoo was tipsy enough though to start randomly doing the chicken dance with jennie every fifteen minutes or so.

as a congratulatory gift, the girls had provided you and your cast members with some korean alcohol from overseas. needless to say, you were still heavily intoxicated, but still somehow seriously questioning how in the world the soju you drank tasted like hand-sanitizer.

rosé couldn't stop laughing at the face you made every time you took a sip from the green bottle. "y/n, the face you make gets me every time." jennie busted out laughing as well as she looked over jisoo's shoulder, before teasing you. "you know, for an actress you seriously have no facial control when it comes to liquor." she said with a grin. you rolled your eyes while fighting the urge to gag at the aftertaste lingering in your throat.

"do you need me to get you some water?" lisa inquired before she took another sip of the soju she had in a glass, biting back her own laughter as she observed your current state.

"no, it's okay. i can go find some." you coughed out as you stood up slowly before waving with your hand as you walked away, shouting a quick "i'll be right back" before beginning your search for water.

you wandered around the tables and shelves, searching for any water. unfortunately, there seemed to be none. sighing, you rubbed your temple and grabbed an empty rocks glass before making your way out of the main room and down the hallway. upon finding the bathroom, you filled the empty glass with water from the sink and swallowed it quickly.

the illuminated mirror made you take in your current flushed face, and the small beads of sweat that glittered your forehead. your makeup was somehow still intact, and your hair was still also. suddenly the door opened, and you were met with an all-too familiar face.

"i just came to check on you, i saw you leave the room so i wanted to make sure you were alright." the other girl stated slowly, the alcohol still clearly in her system. it was almost adorable though, and a faint tint of red spread across your cheeks at the thought of the blonde caring about you.

"i'm alright, thank you though, rosie. there wasn't any water out there, so i just got some from the sink." you explained with a small smile.

"i don't think i mentioned this to you yet tonight, but you look absolutely stunning, y/n." your face flushed again at her words. your eyes met hers as she leaned against the sink next to you. quickly shooting her a genuine smile, you looked away from her and back to your reflection. "thank you, rosie. you look stunning tonight as well." you replied.

"i really missed you."

rosé didn't know if it was the alcohol in her system, or the fear that she would grow farther apart from you after tonight, but for whatever reason, her confession seemed to linger in the air and echo off of the walls of the bathroom. slowly, you turned your head to look at her once more, and to your surprise the blonde shifted and leaned forward to give you a hug.

"i missed you too, chae."

for the second time that night, your arms made their home around the idol's neck. she inhaled your scent, and your head rested in the crook of her neck. but for the first time in your life, you felt as if the world grew silent. the other girl pulled away slightly, still keeping her arms around your body. you simply stared at her in confusion, trying to decipher the look on her face.

roseanne knew the risks. she knew how hard she and the other girls had worked to make it to where they were today. she knew about how hard you had worked to get to where you were as well, and she would hate to put either of you at risk. but she couldn't help herself.

years of expectations, years of training, and years of loneliness had made their place in the idol's history. tonight, she was going to change that. right then and there, she had decided she was going to risk it all because she deserved to be happy. and so did you.

you don't remember how it actually happened. all you remembered was your lips on hers, you two leaving the party together, and rest was history.

at first, the two of you kept your relationship practically invisible. the only others who knew were the other members. you guys had managed to keep it that way for the first three and a half months before dispatch had leaked a photo of the two of you holding hands and kissing goodbye as you walked through the airport. you two had thought that since your fans weren't as crazy as hers, that you could get away with it this one time. unfortunately, you two failed to realize that blinks would be able to tell it was rosie from miles away.

you had hopped on a flight from new york city to seattle for a fan-signing event for your next upcoming project and unfortunately did not see the photo until you landed.

you remembered how you called her panicking in the middle of the airport bathroom, practically on the verge of a heart attack. but you were not fearing for your own career; it was for hers. yg had just announced that blackpink was supposed to perform at coachella only a week before the image was leaked.

what you didn't know though was that rosé had a meeting with her managers during your flight and before you called her.

due to her still being at your apartment in new york city until the following morning, yg had been able to contact her pretty easily. since korea was 13 hours ahead, the company had caught wind of the dispatch photo rumor only an hour and a half before it would reach the headlines in north america.

what you also didn't know was that yg and your blonde lover had released an official statement confirming the relationship.

the company thought it was a great business move by rosie, and even applauded her for drawing more international attention to the group. of course the other girls in the group were not fond of the company's perspective of your relationship, but it was not like they could have asked for a better reaction.

time went on, and everything was practically perfect between you two; at least to the public eye it seemed so.

you both loved each other very much, but you would be lying if you said it wasn't hard dating. due to your movie's success, you had been given around 6 months off. you were grateful for the time to rest, but more importantly, for the time to spend with your girlfriend. unfortunately, it seemed as if your lover was busier during those months than she had been all year. you two had spent a few weekends here and there together, but they were almost often interrupted by sudden meeting calls or other brand ambassador things that she had to do.

you were a bit bummed that your lover was so busy, but you knew this is the life she had wanted and worked for, so you simply smiled and moved forward hoping that she could somehow catch a break.

it wasn't until 8 days before coachella, and only three weeks before your break was over, that you finally were able to spend the most time with rosé.

if only you would have known that it would be the last time you and rosé would hang out.

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?" you asked as you rummaged through your luggage to find your missing black shoe.

when your question was met with silence, you looked up from the mess you were making and directed your gaze towards your girlfriend. rosé was currently sitting on the couch of your hotel, phone in hand and giggling softly at whatever she seemed to be looking at.

“rosie?"

you called her name, hoping this time to actually get her attention. yet unfortunately, your effort was in vain. you stood from your sitting position, holding both pairs of shoes in your hands.

brows furrowed, you stood a few feet in front of your girlfriend before trying once more to get her attention.

"chaeyoung."

the idol's eyes suddenly met yours, confusion laced across her features as she realized you were standing in front of her. "yes, love?" she replied, her accent ever so apparent as she spoke. mirroring her confusion, you raised an eyebrow before replying,"did you not hear me calling you?"

your girlfriend sheepishly smiled before shaking her head lightly, "i'm sorry. what did you need?" you held up your shoes and repeated your question from earlier.

"do you think my outfit would look better with the white shoes or with the black shoes?"

rosé's eyes narrowed slightly before answering you. "the black ones." nodding at her answer, you set the other pair of shoes back onto the floor before walking over to her.

“why are you so distracted?” you tilted your head to the side as you looked down at her on the bed.

she smiled awkwardly before turning her phone off and looking up at you. “it was just something lisa sent to the groupchat.”

“can i see?” i smiled. “lisa sends the funniest ones.”

rosé’s smile faltered for a moment before she stood up and grabbed your hand. “we’re going to miss the sunset. lets go?”

the two of you walked along the beach in malibu, strawberry ice cream being shared as you walked. the ocean waves crashed along the shoreline, washing away your footprints in the sand.

“are you excited for your performance?” you asked softly as the california sunset painted a mural in the sky. shades of pink and orange casted a myriad of soft tones onto the both of you, but as beautiful as the sunset was, all you could focus on was how beautiful your girlfriend looked.

the soft golden light made her look even more ethereal. your lover’s features were always angelic, but nothing stood out to you more than her smile.

she gave you a small smile and nodded, taking one of the spoons to take a bit of the strawberry ice cream in your hands. the comfortable silence lingered for a while, allowing for the two of you to simply enjoy the sounds of the ocean accompanied by each other’s presence.

“are you cold?” you asked her, noticing how the ocean breeze may be a bit too cool for your girlfriend’s liking. the other woman chuckled and nodded again. “just a little.” your girlfriend was not a fan of the cold too much, so once you got confirmation of her being cold, you started taking your jacket off to give it to her.

the idol only laughed at how it fit on her, which in turn made you laugh as well, and you couldn’t help but feel the love you had for her becoming more palpable. once the sun dipped over the ocean’s horizon, the two of you made your way back to the hotel.

cuddled up together under the sheets, the two of you relished each other’s presence as the dim light from the tv lit the otherwise darkened room. reruns of glee were playing, and you felt your heart flutter at the sound of rosé humming to a few of the songs.

“sing me something.” you mumbled into her chest. “i love hearing your voice.” she smelled like a light, floral fragrance with notes of rose, jasmine, sandalwood, and amber. the perfect combination for someone so elegant and angelic.

when you didn’t hear a response from her, you raised your head a little to see what she was doing. rosie’s chest vibrated as she chuckled, looking down at something on her phone, too occupied to notice your comment from a few moments earlier.

“rosie?” you said softly, trying to get her attention. however, once you did, she seemed a bit distracted. “yes babe?” the australian said with a chuckle, glancing between you and her phone that was now turned over on her lap. “sorry, did you say something?”

your head tilted to the side a little, a little curious as to this being the second time today that your lover seemed to be acting a bit odd. so you decided to ask her about it. “you seem a bit distracted today. is everything okay?” you asked gently.

the question clearly caught her off guard a little, and you swore you could have seen a bit of panic on her face. almost as if she knew how she was acting. almost as if, she had something to hide.

“oh have i? im sorry, i guess im still jet lagged.” she stuttered out, placing a hand on your cheek in an attempt to sooth your worries. except, you weren’t that clueless. you had been with rosie for a while now, and you knew how the idol acted when she was jet lagged.

and this was definitely not it.

“rosie, can i see your phone?” you asked slowly, noticing how fidgety she got when you leaned in closer to her. the idol let out a forced laugh, looking at you as if you just asked her something so strange and random. “um, what for, babe?” she said in a tone hidden with something you could not really pin point. looking back on it, it was definitely fear.

“rosie.” you said a little firmly, staring into the idol’s eyes with a look of determination. “let me see it.” it was clear to both you and the superstar that you were not taking no for an answer. especially since roseanne had never seen such a look in your eyes before. it scared her, a little.

you don’t remember much of what happened after that. all you remember is seeing some messages that broke your heart, hearing rosie stumbling over her words trying to explain what you just saw, and then the way you grabbed your suitcase and stormed out of the hotel room.

except, before you did, you remembered telling the idol one last thing.

with tears in your eyes, blurring your vision with watery opposition, you could see the way the girl you loved was begging for you to stay in the doorway. but you didn’t care. the damage was done, and it was too late now.

with a broken heart and crushed spirit, you told rosé one last sentence that would mark the end to your relationship.

“we’re done.”

now, it had been months since the breakup. it was heartbreaking for you to go through this. you never thought chaeyoung would cheat on you, especially after everything the two of you had been through. it also didn’t make things easier because of the media.

everyone wanted answers as to why the most popular couple in the entertainment world was now broken up, without any answers as to why. both your fans and rosie’s hounded the internet, taking jabs and picking sides in this breakup that shocked the world on both sides of the globe.

it also didn’t help that as the weeks went on, you saw the rumors circulating around your ex and her new lover.

although you two had not spoken publicly about the breakup, it only being confirmed by your agencies instead, you couldn’t help but feel like this new woman rosé was with was the same woman she was texting that night at the hotel. nevertheless, you didn’t bother asking, especially at this point.

you couldn’t even stand to listen to kpop anymore. the entire genre was ruined for you, because you couldn’t listen to kpop without listening to blackpink, of course. speaking of the other members, the girls had all reached out to you as well, saying that you were still family to them, and they would love to still keep in touch.

you didn’t bother replying to any of the three. it wasn’t that you didn’t care about the other girls, but rather that it hurt too much, and you no longer wanted anything to do with the australian or her members right now.

currently you laid in your bed, sheets tangled from your sleepless night prior and floor scattered with water bottles, tissues, and clothes. it was obvious to everyone around you that you were grieving. you were feeling ever single stage of grief, somehow all at the same time.

it also didn't help that every time you went on your phone, you saw new photos and updates about your ex and her new lover. you didn’t know much, other than that she was practically attached to the idol’s hip 24/7. overwhelmed with the stages of anger, denial, and bargaining, you got a bad idea.

you reached over your pillow and pulled out your phone and decided to do a deep dive into this new woman that your ex girlfriend cheated on you with. it was a horrendous idea, that was for sure, but it was something you just couldn’t shove off anymore.

the new girl was another actress, making your pride hurt significantly.

“another actress?” you muttered under your breath and kept scrolling through the twitter updates. you knew rosé had secretly dated actresses in the past too, but you hated to think that you were just her type. it hurt your ego just as much as it hurt your heart.

“suzy…bae?” you mumbled as you looked at pictures of this actress. she was beautiful, there was no doubt there. the woman was also a well known figure in the korean entertainment industry. it was no wonder why so many koreans were ecstatic about rosé’s sudden new love interest.

you found yourself looking through your ex’s instagram for the first time since the breakup. your relationship was private, but not secret, so there would be only a few photos of you and chaeyoung posted.

well, not anymore, since upon further inspection, rosé clearly deleted all of them. it stung a little, but it wasn’t like you were expecting anything less. you two were broken up for a few months now.

except, as you scrolled through the pictures on her page, you couldn’t help but notice a few familiar places in some of them.

there was one with the two eating ice cream on the beach in malibu, the same one you and chaeyoung had been to less than a year ago. there was one with them renting out a movie theater to watch glee, something you and rosie did for fun back when you were still together. there was even a video of rosie teaching suzy how to play “uptown girl” on the piano, a song you had once taught her how to play.

“i bet she tells her she loves her in between the chorus and the verse, too.” you whispered harshly, the stinging feeling growing in your chest as you kept on digging through the photos. it was only making you feel worse, but you couldn’t help but feel angry.

was anything even real? did the soft spoken blonde that you loved ever truly love you? or was it all just a lie?

you couldn’t help but wonder if everything you did with park chaeyoung was just recycled from her previous relationships, especially considering how she was reusing everything from yours.

everything felt like a lie. tears slowly fell from your face, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. you wanted to scream and shout, to let the world know that roseanne cheated on you and was reusing everything with her new lover. except you wouldn’t do that to her.

you also wouldn’t do what she was doing to someone else, either.

everyone is made up from the different pieces of the people they once loved, but to copy and paste the same memories over and over again led you to realize that maybe rosé never truly loved you. you were haunted by this thought from the moment you stormed out of the hotel room in california that night, but with this newfound information?

it was hard to believe that it wasn’t true. but even still, with this heartache and pain swirling inside you, you couldn’t help but wonder if rosé felt no guilt or shame. did she not feel bad at all? did she miss what you had, or even, just you? when was rosie going to tell her that you two did all of that too? that everything suzy probably thought was “unique” about your ex girlfriend was all just reused?

but none of these thoughts compared to the biggest question that now burned in the front of your mind. it was one you couldn’t help but ask out loud.

“do you get deja vu?”

#rosé x reader #rosé #blackpink #blackpink x reader #original one shot #blackpink one shot #kpop #i wrote this years ago #i hope u all still like this #deja vu #perfectsunlight

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yanderes-galore · 10 months

Note

Mysterion romantic concept, please? Thx!

I'd love to! Aged up as usual where Kenny commits more to his superhero persona as an adult. Sorry this took months! I'll see what I can do with this now.

Yandere! Mysterion Alphabet

Yandere! Mysterion Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Reckless behavior mentioned, Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Breaking and entering, Obsession, Mysterion watches you while you sleep, Invasion of privacy, Dubious relationship, Kidnapping mention.

Mysterion most likely could've met you in one of two ways.

He could've known you as Kenny and protects you as Mysterion.

That or he meets you as Mysterion and saves you from danger, then keeps you in his sights.

Either way he has a similar motive.

Mysterion is a protective yandere who is willing to sacrifice himself to keep you safe and his.

He is the type of yandere who would get himself hurt if it meant you'd be fine.

He'd take a literal bullet for you.

Since his power is not dying, that's easy to do.

Most of Mysterion's obsession is out of your sight.

He's South Park's version of Batman except he's poor, okay?

He prefers to watch over his darling from the shadows and not be too involved.

He's able to keep this up if he had platonic feelings, since he'd simply be like a guardian angel.

But since he has romantic feelings for you in this concept, staying away is harder to do.

He knows he shouldn't but Mysterion wants to be up close to his darling.

He likes the idea of being your hero... he likes the idea of being your heroic boyfriend even more.

Mysterion doesn't want to be too involved because he's afraid if he is then you're a target for trouble.

He feels keeping his feelings for you low profile would keep you safer.

That does not stop him from stalking you and entering your home while you sleep.

Mysterion takes time to visit you, even if you aren't aware.

In fact a lot of Mysterion's obsession may be right under your nose and you'd never know.

Despite being Kenny he never tries anything with you in your sleep.

He has more respect for the both of you than that.

He may poke around you drawers though... nothing says he can't do that.

Mysterion does have good intentions with his darling during his obsession.

His main focus is on protecting you rather than acting on his romantic feelings.

Maybe he'll sit on your bed or just watch you sleep... but when you're asleep that's the most he does.

It just... brings him a form of comfort to see you so relaxed.

The creepiest thing about his obsession honestly is the fact you may barely know anything about him.

A lot of his obsession is all in his head while you're unaware.

Yet before he tries anything big with his obsession he does try to connect more with you.

If you knew him as Kenny then he explains that and what he does.

If you don't then he tries to explain himself as a hero looking out for you.

Either way, Mysterion wants you to at least think of him as a friend.

He wants you to trust him before he expresses any sort of romantic feelings.

Even then he tries to make them vague and brief.

Every hug or touch you give him lights him on fire.

He loves your warmth and tries to get you to a point where he can expect it often.

Mysterion feels guilty for swiping some things from you in his obsession.

Although it's nothing compared to the guilt he feels when he kidnaps you at some point.

A huge step like that in his obsession does not happen for no reason.

Something has to set him off if he feels he has to relocate you.

Mysterion does not show jealousy, in fact it's hard to read his emotions half the time.

If he had to kidnap you from your home it would be if he felt you were targeted.

Maybe someone found out he held romantic feelings for you?

Maybe he was too open somehow?

Either way, Mysterion hates the idea of you suffering for his mistakes.

So if he ever needed to... he'd take you to his home.

He struggles to explain why he did it but promises it was to keep you safe.

He's a hero, it's what heroes do, right?

You may no longer trust him after he breaches your trust like this but he tries to gain it back as much as he can.

Which only proves more red flags as he knows way too much about you....

Mysterion struggles to display romantic intentions.

He's normally very stoic, willing to endanger himself for you.

He feels defending you is the best way to show he cares.

Yet if he needs to show you something else to prove to you he loves you... he'll settle for kissing and tight holds.

Is feeling your warmth in some way too much to ask?

Trying to escape Mysterion just irritates him.

He's annoyed you not only don't understand him but you don't trust him when he says he's helping you.

He'll hunt you down again and drag you back to him if you do escape, apologizing to you for it all but it's what he has to do.

He is not above restraining you but would rather not.

He's supposed to be your guardian not a warden.

Overall Mysterion is usually a yandere who keeps his distance.

However, if he likes his darling in the romantic sense he doesn't mind getting a bit closer.

Mysterion struggles to show his feelings to his darling due to his behavior...

Yet he really is still Kenny and loves you with all his heart... even if this is the worst way he could ever show it.

#yandere south park #yandere aged up south park #yandere mysterion #yandere kenny mccormick

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vollereix · 10 months

Note

This idea has been stuck in my head for daysss anyway genshin men of your choice (bonus points if Tartaglia or Kaeya are included) with an s/o (gender neutral pls) who is alot like Kenny McCormick from South Park. If you don't know the show, he basically wears an oversized hood that covers most of his face except for his eyes and when he talks its mostly muffled but the only person who understands what she's saying are people like traveler and stuff. Anyway, daily reminder to stay hydrated <3

(More bonuses if you add their reaction when they finally see and hear reader without the hood.)

Help, this has been in my drafts for months 😭 I’m so sorry pookie here it is! Also I’m not sure to do hc or scenarios so I just did a little bit of both!

Also idk how to write for Kaeya, I honestly don’t remember his personality at all :(

Characters: Childe, Zhongli, Alhaitham X gender neutral reader

Warnings: Idk y/n without the hood or smth

CHILDE

— oh you just said ‘$;@:@:?#%>\&” ? Yeah no worries, he understood that.

— Childe likes to rest his hand or arm on top of your head, in this case, your hoodie at every chance possible.

— He doesn’t always understand what you’re saying so he sometimes depends on your body language as well.

— The first time he saw you without the hood was when you woke up at 4am to get some water and saw him there too.

Your throat had been itching for a while now, you had wanted to ignore it and go back to sleep but it’s now come to a point that the dryness was making you uncomfortable.

Rubbing your eyes in frustration, you got out of bed, not noticing the absence of your boyfriend next to you. Still partially tired, you ran your hand along the wall to turn the lights on.

Taking a cup, you were oblivious to the statue in the corner with his mouth slightly parted. Clearing his throat, you almost died on the spot of a jump scare.

“Well well, isn’t this a rare sight?” You looked at him in shock, taking your time to register his words.

Upon realising, you reached for the hood. “Oh no, it’s quite alright, I don’t mind seeing you like this ever so often!” With a few quick strides Childe was already standing next to you, stopping you from pulling the hood over your head.

Now it was your turn to clear your throat, “oh right, okay” you mumbled, turning back to your cup of water.

Childe tried his best to not look surprised upon hearing your actual voice and not the muffled responses he was used to.

“Like music to my ears, you should drop the hood more often.” Putting a hand under your chin, he tilted your head up to get a better look at your face.

ZHONGLI

— No, I don’t know why but I just feel like he already knew how you’d look and sound.

— Not that surprised and all, it’s not that big of a deal to him whether you choose to wear the hood or not.

— But!! Compared to when you are wearing the hood, he will definitely steal glances at you more often. Y’know, just a peek here and there.

— He’s fine with it either way, if you feel more comfortable with the hood he’s perfectly fine with that.

The two of you were taking a stroll through wuwang hill, enjoying the peace and quiet after a long week of work. It’s not unusual to come across monsters in Liyue, so when a group of anemo slimes bounced your way you were well prepared to take them out.

Though you were not prepared for the strong gust of wind from the big slime that blew your hood of. On top of that, you also lost your balance for a split second, falling back on your butt.

Zhongli made quick work of the rest, getting rid of them with an easy blow. Walking towards you, he extended a hand and pulled you up.

Still preoccupied with smoothening your clothes and getting rid of the dirt, Zhongli kept his gaze on your face the entire time.

You looked exactly like how he thought you would, maybe even better.

“Thanks, let’s get going now.” You made eye contact with him, a small smile on your face.

“What’s wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?”

Shaking his head, Zhongli acted as if everything was perfectly normal and continued walking in front of you. Well, that was until he heard you gasp.

Pulling the hood back over your head, you tightened it quickly, catching up to him.

“You know, you don’t always have to wear the hood. It must be stuffy and warm.”

Truth was, he just like seeing your face and hearing your voice.

ALHAITHAM

— Once again, kinda monotone and just like “oh so this is you without the hood, I see.”

— That’s it. Literally.

— He doesn’t care enough to say anything else. If you wear your hood, you wear your hood. If you don’t, you don’t.

— No reaction to anything, just ‘ok, cool’ attitude.

You fell asleep on your table while staying up late to work on a project. That’s how Alhaitham even saw you without the hood on.

He had spent the entire morning looking for you. He even went out of his way to ask his roommate about your whereabouts.

When alhaitham finally found you in your office, you were sleeping with stacks of paper surrounding you. A few of them even made its way onto the floor.

But whatever, it didn’t exactly faze him. He just tapped you a few times before you woke up in a panic.

“!! Huh, what?” You asked, confused.

“Nothing, just waking you up. Did you enjoy your nap?” Taking a piece of paper that had been plastered onto your cheek off, you suddenly realised what happened.

“Oh, I must’ve fallen asleep…” You sighed at the realisation.

Thanking alhaitham for waking you up, you quickly picked up the stray papers and arranged them neatly onto different stacks.

You would have expected him to leave by now, I mean he was a busy person after all. But by the time you were done tidying up, alhaitham was still standing at your doorway.

Giving him a questioning look, he simply gestured to your hood before leaving you in another state of panic.

#genshin impact #childe #childe x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #al haitham #al haitam x reader #gender neutral insert #x reader

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blurban-form · 22 days

Text

This is a summary of the article that appeared in Bloomberg BusinessWeek, April 3, 2024. I summarized it a fair bit to focus on what was interesting to me in the article. That said, this is still a long read.

Watch out, a couple of swear words in here.

Bluey may be acquired by Disney which would help Disney: 20% of all TV views on the streaming service Disney+ are “Bluey”. In the fourth quarter of 2023 (excluding movies). Americans watched 731 million hours of “Bluey”.

Brumm accepts an award for best children’s program from the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts in 2019.Photographer: Brendon Thorne/AFI/Getty Images

Joe Brumm is 46, likes sports and surfing, and is brash and unpolished; he seems a little like James Dean in that he’s talented but uncomfortable with fame and having to follow Hollywood conventions and rules… It was noted that Joe Brumm had public relations minders/handlers with him from Disney and the BBC to watch what he said when he was interviewed.

Brumm’s influences include Simpsons, South Park, Peanuts, and Calvin and Hobbes. “Peanuts just meant so much to me growing up” said Brumm. He studied animation in the 2000s at the University of Brisbane and worked in London for the BBC before returning to Australia in 2010 to start Ludo animation.

He came up with Bluey himself, and it was a hard sell initially that the show would be targeting adults and children. He used a lot of his own experiences with his kids to come up with story ideas.

For a while there was the idea of making the show something like an R-rated version of “Peppa Pig”, but that idea was dropped because there was already a similar adult Australian sitcom about raising kids being piloted.

The Australian Broadcasting Company liked the concept of “Bluey” and provided Brumm with A$20,000 ($13,000 US) to create a pilot, which became “The Weekend” episode of Season 1, which was screened at the Asian Animation Summit in November 2016.

Bluey is created at Ludo’s headquarters in Brisbane rather than contracting out the animation overseas, which allows Brumm to continue to tweak episodes up until the last minute. If there’s something he doesn’t like them. He also uses local vocal talent.

The ABC and BBC put up A$6 million to complete the first season of “Bluey”. The BBC made it possible to do this, providing the lion’s share of funding in exchange for distribution and merchandising rights. Australia didn’t have the resources to make the show happen otherwise.

Brumm was very angry when an early critique of Bluey in 2018 said the show made fun of stay-at-home dads; Blumm said he thought to himself “go fuck yourself”.

Within seven months, Bluey was the most watched series ever on the ABC streaming service with 75 million plays of episodes, which led to the BBC commissioning a second season of the show.

Ludo was able to retain control the show, and Brumm was entitled to a share of the revenue.

By 2019, networks in the US were interested in Bluey: Nickelodeon wanted “Bluey”, but they were worried about the name, because it was too close to “Blue’s Clues”. Other networks wanted to change the accents of the characters, and this was a dealbreaker for Ludo and Brumm.

This created an opening for Jane Gould, who was at the time the executive vice president of research and scheduling at Disney’s general entertainment division, who had a comfort level with Bluey because she hailed from Brisbane, and she understood the desire of Brumm and Ludo to keep the show Australian. She didn’t think this was a problem, and she borrowed two episodes to test screen in the US; the kids and parents didn’t have a problem with the Australian aspects of the show. Disney acquired the rights from BBC Studios to air Bluey everywhere except Australia, New Zealand and China.

“Bluey” didn’t get the same marketing push as shows like “The Mandalorian” when Disney+ began broadcasting "Bluey" in June 2020, but soon begin to dominate viewership numbers, in part due to the COVID-19 pandemic. (There was a lot of families spending time watching television and they watched a lot of Bluey.)

The ABC didn’t have a problem with the off-colour humour in “Bluey”, like the use of the word “poo”, and seeing a pony poop in “Markets” and this had to be edited out. Brumm said he hated making these edits... Disney defended these edits saying they were trying to be respectful of different cultural sensitivities, and it’s noted that Disney has since released the uncensored versions of the episodes.

Brumm likes to control his creation. He was upset with some of the early prototypes of Bluey toys because Bandit didn’t look right, he looked like a fridge. He was also concerned that at the beginning that there was too much of a focus on Bluey herself and there weren’t enough toys of all the characters. This concern turned out to be accurate; people wanted toys of all of the characters in the show.

Brumm originally was not sure he wanted to do a second season of “Bluey”, fearing it might not be as good as the first. Brumm doesn’t want to repeat himself in terms of episodes. He wants to make sure that each season is better than the previous one. He was also worried that Bluey would have to stop when Brisbane shut down during the COVID-19 pandemic, but the show continued, with staff working from home.

The “Rain” episode was dialogue-free because Brumm wanted to take a break from writing dialogue at the time.

In Australia, the public and the media have publicly questioned why the ABC didn’t try harder to retain control of the profits from "Bluey" merchandise sales. There was an article in the “Australian Financial Review” that lamented that the ABC had let a gold mine slip through its fingers. It was thought that this decision was shortsighted, but the ABC responded saying they made the best deal at the time that they could. Disney has also been said to have made an error in passing on theme park rights and allowing BBC Studios to retain those rights; people go to Disney parks and ask why they can’t see Bluey there.

Disney isn’t releasing details on whether it’s explored buying “Bluey”, but Ludo says Bluey isn’t for sale, but this could change.

It is noted that there hasn’t been a clear announcement of a fourth season. Brumm has stated previously there will be a hiatus and he’s concerned about the children’s voices changing. His preference not to have to replace the voice actors, and he knows he can’t continue to draw upon his own kids experiences because they’ve grown up.

During the interview, Brumm’s handlers interjected and couldn’t said he couldn’t discuss the final episode.

Speaking anonymously, someone familiar with Disney’s “Bluey” dealings said that Brumm is trying to decide whether he’s comfortable letting other people write for the show, which would make it easier to continue to create episodes, and possibly smooth the way for a Disney acquisition in the future, as Disney would be reluctant to spend billions on a show with only three seasons of episodes.

Brumm said over email that he’s already collaborated on writing some additional episodes and ultimately it isn’t his decision who writes Bluey as he doesn’t own the show.

He thinks the final episode is magical and it sums up everything Bluey has tried to do in the last few years.

#Bluey long reads #Imagine an R-rated Bluey. Wow!#Interesting stuff #Bluey

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kathegreat · 7 months

Text

✶

introducing my south asian lesbian, the ranger, elora c. bhargava.

👮🏾🌲🛻🇮🇳

@castleaudios

i despise the tumblr’s resolution as much as everyone else and it’s only been a few months being on this app. if you want a higher resolution, be sure to click on the photos. why does it look so much better on mobile fml

this is the mysterious she. as stated in the pictures above, you’ll notice she has a winter and summer uniform. but sunglasses in winter? um, why? elora is autistic (like me) and, thus, when it snows in glenwood, it snows clean pure, blaring white. sun reflecting off snow hurts the living shit out of my eyes with how radiant it is and causes overstimulation. i absolutely hate it, hence why i added the sunglasses.

personal adornments are any item not expressly incorporated in the official uniform. this includes but is not restricted to tattoos, jewelry, fingernail polish, and body piercings(s). individuals choosing to accept a uniform position are mandated to minimize personal adornments. rings and studs associated with facial piercings must not unreasonably distract from the general appearance or professionalism of the uniform. disproportionate numbers, images, large size, dangling, and bright, contrasting colors are prohibited. only gold and silver are accepted and must be coordinated, so i added one little gold nose stud to her look.

elora is swole, SWOLE. she is incredibly athletic and has an undying passion for bouldering. she’s been a boulderer since late sophomore year of high school and has never stopped since. honestly, the palm of her hands are fucked to hell with how many times she’s done it, but at least her grip is stronger (she would say). she gave diane a heart attack during a patrol when she clambered up a tree to retrieve a mom who got stuck in it after she climbed to take a picture for the gram. the coparenting guardians wanted to take their son out on a nice afternoon hike, but it ended with disaster. the mom gave elora her number afterward, but the dad was not impressed (i have to draw this). fun fact: she has been urged by coaches and peers to perform in the olympics, but prefers it as a hobby with the exception of competing in a fundraiser event. i like to think she'd be quite involved in her community.

her facial expressions are nearly always stony and hard. she always makes a mental note to soften her expression, especially when she finds lost kids in the park during search parties. another cute little detail, elora carries sweets for those missing kids for when they're eventually found. she makes homemade (handmade?) chocolate or fruit candies of woodland creatures. the fruit candies are specifically made for allergy-prone kids and she’ll only give the candies to them with a parent(s) consent who are usually there after the search concludes.

pretty much everyone in the department knows of elora escapades with claire and everyone secretly roots for the two she is teased about it to no end just as much. it's highly recommended unrecommended.

there you have it.

✶ taglist form

#castle audios claire #castle audios ranger #castleaudios ranger #castleaudios claire greene #castleaudios claire #castleaudios

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antheiantics · 8 months

Text

ENTJ Behaviours - Everyday things the Internet analysis don't tell you about - weirdly specific edition

Loud loud laugh. The type of laugh to make you go under the table. Happens roughly 2-3 times a day.

Shouting for no apparent reason.

Zoomies, yes, zoomies around the house.

Zoomies in talking - The point is to get it out fast and furious and go on with the day. Spoiler alert: 80% of the time I have to repeat myself, because people didn't understand my point delivered in Eminem speed. I'm fine, we're fine, it's fine.

Constantly forgetting people don't have the ability to understand with just one, maximum three words. Exception: INTX

Hating to be late and arriving early. Completing several tasks while waiting.

Having absolutely no tolerance on people who are late. Holding a grudge about it. Waiting for the day to just leave so the other person learns from it.

Abrupt style changes that shock people - going from casual business to grunge fairycore, not realising that people get confused with the vibe.

ENTJ procrastination is a thing - it's just procrastinating by doing other smaller tasks instead of doing the big looming one.

Being confident all the time except in a specific moment in which it's required to.

Ordering food at McDonald's because your extroverted friends were "too shy" to.

Waiting for those same friends to say "hi" to the entire planet while you try to look confident, pretty and approachable.

Being invited in the conversation in the span of one minute and hitting it off for the next 10 minutes.

Walking fast.

The boulevard is the runway and y'all are just peasants interrupting the strut.

Making detailed plans about being a successful company owner in 10 years, but forgetting to take in the sheets the next day. Short-term goals - a strong point, if forced. Day to day to-do list - not a strong point at all, unless written down (most of the time confident enough to remember our own tasks) (most of the time we forget to do several of them, or postpone them to shove three more that we planned to do after two weeks, but oh well, an opportunity arose - extremely specific, might not apply)

Patience. Monstruos amounts of it. Miranda Priestly was just fed up after so many years in the industry and I can see why.

Pet peeves are inefficiency and people who repeat the same mistake over three times, after it was explained to them by multiple people.

Strong opinions. Controversy. How are y'all dealing with Cruella (Emma Stone) and Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice) mix, type of person? Genuinely curious. Not asking for a friend.

As for the ENTJ men reading this - do you have like a list or diagram, with all the people that manage to keep up with your Stewie Griffin (South Park) , Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows) tendency to "invest" and Thranduil(The Hobbit/LOTR) type of beauty and pride, and how long is it? Again, genuinely curious.

Wrote the origins of criticism and invented self-criticism in the process, because emotional liability got invented roughly around the same time and apparently it was "too much" *side glances INFPs*

Crying only out of helplessness (not if you can help it, ofc) and anger.

Fan of stupid puns (extremely evident)

Might unintentionally ghost people or leave them on seen, because they messaged you while your brains were working overtime (happens too often)

Caffeine doesn't work, but it's a ritual of pleasure, not to be missed, unless the day is bound to finish in prison. Same could be said if you take tea instead of coffee.

Relaxing by watching documentaries about successful people.

De-stressing by drinking wine with that one close friend that you see once a month due to busy schedules and talking about life.

That close friend also happens to be the closest one to IxxJ type and thoroughly listens while we explain the nature of emotions and why we think that the normal emotion we felt is a terminal illness.

Flirting is a way of surviving not a way of life. Take it as you wish.

Inspecting and dissecting your crushes so you know what you're dealing with. Most of the time we "un-crush" them with a snap of our fingers.

Sometimes we "just go with it" and end in a semi-casual situationship.

When they tell you we are confident and undisturbed by flirting, they're probably lying or not competent enough about speaking on real (not psychology explained) life. We do. It's just not obvious. INTJs, INTPs and ENFJs might not agree, because they somehow just know.

Getting hurt over minimal details people mentions about us throughout a conversation but being unaffected by "the big ones".

Which is hilarious because we're major "big picture" people - details are the things we see last. Sometimes, we don't even bother to inspect them.

ENTJ: Ah, ah, okay, bye-

Other people: No, wait! There's-

ENTJ: I pretty much got it, bye-

P.S. "Pretty much go it." or "I'm gonna wing it.", but make it organised, are probably catch phrases by now. No matter what people tell you that's a major trait of XXXJ people.

When I told you we invented criticism, I forgot to mention we also helped ESTJ and INTJ invent sarcasm.

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silvermare · 5 months

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If you know me outside of Tumblr, don't tell my mom

I said goodbye to my old car last night. Vivid green 2012 Hyundai Accent hatchback. That thing had stellar fuckin gas mileage (for a non-hybrid anyway, I could squeeze like 40mpg out of it if I tried), hauled around way too much shit, played FAFO with black ice, was stolen in Amarillo, TX and recovered south of Oklahoma City, OK - and for context, I live in Indianapolis - back in 2018, and transported many friends and even some coworkers. It also has had kernels of dry field corn in the floorboard for the past two years. Oh, and I broke the frickin passenger side mirror by backing out of the garage too close.

Her name was Arachnaverde because she was green and I kept an anatomically incorrect spider skeleton (halloween decoration) on the dashboard. Spood's job was to let me know when I was taking a turn too fast. He would skitter away if I did.

Prior to Arachnaverde, I had a 1994 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme that I called Madame Blueberry. She was a lovely teal color, had two doors, and I once forgot an entire watermelon in the back floorboard in college and it rotted and stank so badly. -4/10 do not recommend. Also her trunk had loose soybeans from when I took a few dried soybean plants for some reason or another. ADHD be like that sometimes.

Prior to Madame Blueberry, I had an unnamed charcoal gray 89 Mercury Grand Marquis. This car had one interesting anecdote, and 3 notable events.

In the long long ago when I was still in junior college (2 year college for people who live in states that don't fuck with junior colleges), I left it overnight in the college parking lot for some reason I no longer recall. When I retrieved it in the morning, someone had used car window paint to write "HOOPTY" on the back windshield. To be fair, it was.

That car was how I learned not to leave a can of silly string in a hot car. Did you know if a can of silly string gets hot enough it will straight up explode? I didn't until I found a really messy plastic bag and blue spatters all over the roof of my car.

I used to park under a specific tree in front of the house, because I lived with my parents on a farm, and the garage was for my mom's vehicle, no one else's. Dad's main ride parked in the patch of ground between the barnyard fence and the garage (dad's parking spot, mostly), and the farm truck parked in the barnyard. Anyway, point is, I parked under a tree which worked quite well for many years except at the very end a large fragment of dead tree pierced my car *right* in front of the hood so I had a rough rectangle of Missing Car for the tail end of my ownership.

Anyway, I've known for months that I needed to get a new car. Needed new front struts, a replacement sensor in the steering column, new back brakes, new front tires.... I tried back in May but for some reason the car I found just didn't vibe with me (Mitsubishi Mirage). It was kinda noisy, very basic. Also very cheap.

Last week, the stars aligned and I found a hopeful prospect with low mileage, decent mpg, and within my budget.

So now I have a new-to-me brick of tofu (white Kia Soul 2020).

I have said my farewells to the green beast, and look forward to what kind of adventures I'll get into with the as-of-yet-unnamed toaster.

So far the best name I've come up with is Tofungus because I am awful. I definitely want to give it a black horizontal stripe and add the "Fujiwara Tofu Shop" decal to the side because i'm a fuckin weeb and also did you know there's a sequel to Initial D this season? I'm enjoying it.

#cars #new cars #old cars #nostalgia #car stories #adhd stories #car names #naming #initial d #mf ghost #kia #kia soul #adventures #adventure time

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wintergrew · 1 month

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Actually i will say on KAYF...

The basic premise of KAYF was an idea I first got roughly ten years ago after watching various vampire media. (Let the Right One In, Shiki, etc.) Not the whole plot, but the basic premise of a (queer) couple broken up by one becoming a vampire while their town is being destroyed by...well, vampires. Originally with my friend's and my Star Wars ocs from the MMO swtor we were obsessed with and made a billion AUs for, but very quickly it became its own thing in my head with new OCs.

But at that point in my life i was not writing fiction. I was always too self conscious of my writing because someone flamed my cringeybwriting on Neopets when I was, like...8 or something. So I literally went a full ass decade without writing fiction (with the exception of a couple attempts i immediately abandoned because I hated them) until I decided to try again with South Park fanfiction because i don't even know. Which includes The Thief, which I was shocked people liked. It was a TERRIBLE point in my life, I should say, so having people enjoy what I wrote and saying nice things about it was quite literally one of the only good things I had.

But anyway I still had that vampire idea in the back of my head, but just as random scenes that played in my head of the two main charades + the person who ended up being Estella. (Though originally her and Scott's role was combined.) The plot wasn't really defined or anything, but the basic ending was in my head from the very very beginning.

Anyway...2020. i was supposed to see MCR. Then COVID postponed it. I was very sad about this. So I extra emo-ly listened to a shit ton of MCR. And listening to MCR, suddenly I was thinking about that vampire story and their music pretty much helped me put the plot into place. The terminal illness plotline. The vampire of the pairing being obsessed to save his love and the cruelty from the other vampires regarding that. And ofc the song Kill All Your Friends itself gave me the set up of an IT-like time skip where someone died and they all go back.

They were all still 100% OCs in my head at this point. I didn't really have much confidence anyone would like these idea but, I was actively writing South Park fanfiction people liked well enough. I'd only ever written fanfiction. So I was like "huh I guess I can make this idea Creek".

So I did. And then wrote three chapters and didn't update for a full year.

But then in 2021 it became my ADHD obsession. I stopped caring about The Thief Trilogy. All I could think of was KAYF and wrote the rest of it in three or so months... Over 100k words. Pretty sure the update schedule was longer than that, but I spaced out chapters by a week long after I was finished.

And people seemed to like it. It was too dark to be as popular as the Thief Trilogy, but I knew that. It was a much more personal story, though, especially with how emotional it was, so it meant SO MUCH to me that anyone liked it. Also because The Thief Trilogy feels basically just like a bloated fanfiction adaptation of the SOT game to me, while KAYF feels like mine, so the kind words for it meant even more in a way.

Until someone I thought was a friend trashed it relentlessly. Like, I'm fine with constructive criticism but they were just horrible. Spoiled the plot for people who wanted to read it directly after i asked them not to, went on condescending rants about how there was too much filler, how Tweek in it was an awful character who deserved to die, claimed characters were all too unsympathetic, joked about parts I meant in earnest, etc. And they got really mad at me that my feelings were hurt by this. It was a whole thing.

Anyway, I'm still to this day years later obsessed with this story year. I think about it every day, which is probably more unhealthy ADHD shit. And I always think about how to make it better. I hate how I wrote it so fast and didn't think about certain details or pacing or what have you. Like, once I finished writing it, I was sad because I wanted to keep writing it. I still do.

I hate that I disappoint people by not having it out there. I want it out there, just not the version I rushed in three months.

So, for now, the fic is hidden. Indefinitely.

Anyway if you read all this tl;dr rambling congratulations I guess.

#kayf

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thegloriousninjaturtle · 4 months

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First Lines in 2024

Welp, @delivish tagged me to give some sneak peeks in the making and thank goodness they did tag me because boy have I been writing! I know I'm practically silent on here, but I do miss Ao3 and I miss the amazing community in the fandom even more! Makes me wonder why I take a long long time to post (besides life being the apparent answer XD). Here are some snippets of two fics that will be posted soon!

A Series of Choices (CH.5)

Kenny lay on the couch, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he played Tetris on his phone, waiting for Karen to FaceTime him. It was eight in the morning and he had been up since five playing, his thumbs moving on autopilot, tapping the blocks into place. The smell of ash filled the room, smoke curling over his head, and for once, Kenny was glad to be home alone. It was a rare moment where he was able to smoke inside the house and no one was around to pester him about his habits. As Kenny tapped a line piece to the right of his screen, Karen’s face popped up on his phone. He moved his ash-filled cup out of view before answering the call.

“Hey!” Karen beamed.

Kenny couldn’t help but look surprised to see his sister’s hair now a different color. “Hey. White?”

“Sort of. It’s actually a really light pink. My roommates helped me dye it and cut it, too. Do you like it?” She asked, shaking her short hair from side to side.

“Yeah, actually. It’s different,” he commented. “So is that the first thing you did when you got off the plane?”

“More like the second. The first was struggle to unpack with two other people in a tiny space,” Karen said. “Here’s the full tour of the dorm, if you’re interested.”

She pushed herself out of the way and her laptop was able to capture the entirety of her room right in its place. He was able to catch the lofted beds, desks, and crammed mini fridge all in one glance. Karen wasn’t kidding when she said she was shoved into a closet.

“That’s it?” Kenny asked.

“Yup. The only thing you’re not seeing is my desk, which you don’t really need to see,” she mumbled as she shuffled a few papers out of the way. “But that’s it,” she confirmed and moved back into view.

“Bet you wish you had your old room back.”

Karen gave a half-shrug. “It doesn’t bother me. I’m just glad I got roommates that I actually get along with.”

“Are you saying your old roommates sucked?”

“Yeah, because at least these ones aren't pigs.”

Forgive Me Father for I Have Sinned

In roughly thirteen hours, Butters will be standing in South Park’s Roman Catholic church, waiting to be wed to a woman he didn’t love. His mother has planned everything, from the guest list to the music to the white rose boutonniere on Butters’ suit. His girlfriend – now fiance – of three months has been teasing Butters about her wedding dress, telling him she couldn’t wait for him to see it and even more excited to walk down the aisle without her promise ring. They will say their vows and seal their fate with their first kiss. During the reception, everyone will gorge on gourmet food as they toast speech after speech, congratulating them on their big day. Perhaps Butters’ parents will finally tell him how proud they are of him. Butters and his new wife will have their first dance before cutting the cake his mother lost her mind. No doubt the baker blacklisted them from any future orders. A perfect tale for any wedding, except when his fiance will appear before the church doors, Butters won’t be waiting for her on the other side.

I'm tagging @lozislaw because I know you beautiful bitch have something in the making XD Of course, if you wish to keep it a surprise, we'll all be waiting with bated breath <3

#sp bunny #bunnysp #sp kenny #south park #kenny mccormick #leopold butters stotch #my fic #tsosc #bunny south park #southpark

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usafphantom2 · 9 months

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May 1973: My first combat mission with the F-4 over Cambodia

Diego Alves By Diego Alves 05/21/23 - 09:00 in History, War Zones

This year is a significant anniversary for me: it was 50 years ago that I flew on my first combat mission. In May 1973, I flew through Thailand and entered Cambodian airspace. At the time, there was a lot of pressure from the Khmer Rouge communists in Cambodia to take control of the country; it was our job to avoid this.

The plan was to allow South Vietnam to achieve stability after the early 1973 ceasefire with the North.

I knew I would be flying on bombing missions over Cambodia immediately. My leader told me that I could expect to fly on missions of three to four hours every day. There was an effort to get a combat flight before the end of the month, so that I could receive my "payment for dangerous service" plus $65 per month to fly in combat. Not much, even for those days. On May 28, I made my orientation flight to the combat zone, my call code was "South 40", as we flew over Thailand and briefly entered Cambodian airspace.

In his first month in Cambodia, John E. Norvell flew 18 combat missions.

After the orientation, each combat flight would start like this. First, he checked the flight schedule published the night before the mission to be sure of the time of the "show". Then, the next day, I would take the "bluebird" bus to the squad. So, I found my interception officer and informed our ward about what we would do. Then we went to Intel (the intelligence section) for a quick summary of the threat. At this point, about two hours passed. So we went to the equipment room to wear our costumes.

Dressing up, I made sure I had my Geneva Convention card, which we would carry if we were slaughtered and taken prisoner. So I took my survival equipment and camouflaged helmet; I checked my survival radios. I removed my wedding ring and badge from my flight suit and locked them in my closet. I did this so as not to have information about myself if I was shot down, to help the enemy.

Then I checked and carried a 38 caliber revolver, which I carried in a holster attached to my leg, gunman style. Then we all boarded what we call the "bread truck", along with other crews, to go to the aircraft parked in the buttress. Once in our "designated bird", we did the standard walk before the flight. This pre-flight was exactly as we did in Luke AFB, except that I had to check real bombs and missiles.

F-4 Phanton Cockpit: The "cargo dumb"

Our standard charge was the 500-pound dumb bomb Mark 82, as shown in my 8 mm film clip on the left. We could charge up to 18 Mark 82s. We also had two Aim-9 Sidewinder infrared-guided missiles and two Aim-7 Sparrow radar-guided missiles.

While checking them, I looked for leaks under the Phantom. I had to be careful, because it was easy to hit my head and take a "ghost'sbite". Also hung below were the RHAW and jammer pods. The RHAW (Radar Homing and Warning) warned us if the enemy had stopped on our aircraft with SAMS (Surface to Air Missiles). Although possible, it was not a significant threat to our missions.

Once in the cockpit, I put on my G-suit and connected a recorder to our intercom that recorded our mission. Later, we would give the tape to the intelligence staff if there were any questions. Then it was the standard triggering of the radar, aligning the INS and checking the RHAW. While I was sitting there, the team leader helped me with the parachute connections and pulled the pins of my ejection seat; now, it was hot and ready to shoot. I activated the frequency for the soil control. We received authorization and taxied. Then we go down to the weaponry area adjacent to the active runway. There, the ammunition team pulled the safety pins from the bombs. Then takeoff.

The rains flooded the area around Udorn most of the year and, as we went up, I could see the storms in the distance. We are now on our way to our meeting with the refueling plane and the mission of the day.

I wrote for home:

We bombed Cambodia - it's a funny feeling to use real bombs. The mission lasted 3 and a half hours and we had to refuel three times, a big difference from Luke. I'm getting a combat payment now. It's raining a lot; we're at the monsoons station. I had to have three special flight overalls made, two for work - green and light - and one black coverall for the party. I caught a cold at Jungle survival... there are 348 days left.

In my first month, I flew 18 combat missions.

Over time, I became introspective.

On the crew bus early in the morning, I often thought about how many men had boarded the crew bus to never come back that night. I never told anyone that I thought I could die. The mission was more important, and that was all that mattered. Maybe I wasn't alone in my feelings; all the troops that went into combat, no matter when or where, thought they could die. It was a thought that didn't last long.

I am forever connected to the veterans who served. When I flew in combat, fifty years ago, I became part of this combat fraternity. This changed my life forever.

John E. Norvell is a retired USF lieutenant colonel, a Vietnam War air combat veteran and a former assistant professor of American and Military History at the U.S. Air Force Academy. He wrote as a freelancer for the Washington Post, the Middle Tennessee Journal of Genealogy and History and for several newspapers throughout the US.

Via An American Family

Tags: CambodiaVietnam WarHISTORYMcDonnell Douglas F-4 Phantom IIWar Zones

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dansnaturepictures · 8 months

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3rd September 2023: Clouded Yellow and more at Old Winchester Hill

Photos taken in this set: 1 and 2. The Clouded Yellow. I am ecstatic that we saw this sun coloured butterfly flitting around the rich meadows, landing on flowers, an astonishing sight stationery and in the air flashing it's brighter yellow parts and black spots. This is for me one of our most grand, enigmatic and enchanting species, and it was a true honour to get such fine views of this one. Seeing it battle Adonis Blues and fly with Brimstones and Small Heath was exceptional. This is such an important sighting for me as my first of the species this year, my 47th butterfly species of the year and it will be the last one we see. It was a target of ours and it was just getting into being a lengthening quest to see one this year so it was rewarding to see one for another year. I am so pleased to reach 47 butterfly species seen this year, two higher than my previous highest totals. Its been a sensational few months of butterfly watching, with Clouded Yellow - ten years on from when we first ever saw one like many of the species - the icing on the cake, and it was lovely seeing Brimstones flitting around today too a nice full circle with that my first butterfly species of the year seen in Winchester back in March. 3. Hawksbeard. 4. Lovely lesser stitchwort. 5. Yellow flowers in the garden on this yellow weekend for us. 6. Actually the same photo as the first distantly centring on the clouded yellow, but I kept an un-cropped version as I loved the meadow around it including wild carrot, thistle, hawksbeard type flowers and rose hips. 7, 8, 9 and 10. Glorious views on a gorgeous day in this hot and sunny weather, I never tire of the panoramic and divine South Downs views here and having to come back after not seeing the Clouded Yellow on the (still brilliant) trip here last Sunday was a treat I love this place.

The electrifying Adonis Blues, lots of Small Heath and Meadow Browns, the Brimstones, some Chalkhill Blues, Speckled Wood, Small White and thrilling views of an excellent Painted Lady made it another epic butterfly day, with Mint moth type moths seen quickly. A dragonfly seen quickly I couldn't tell which, ladybird, cricket/grasshopper and bee were other insect highlights. We got amazing views of Kestrel once again of late with one whizzing by us before we got a good view of it on a tree, and Buzzards in the air were a delight to watch on a great day for raptors soaring high. We also saw Swallow, a Yellowhammer briefly and I heard the eerie bark of Raven. Wild basil and marjoram, ragwort, viper's-bugloss, carline thistle, knapweed, eyebright, unique views of harebells, rosebay willowherb and field/small and devil's-bit scabious were key flowers seen. Elderberries looked stunning at the car park and hawthorn berries put a red coat over the landscape. A top butterfly day, it was good to chat to some fellow enthusiasts we'd seen before too. It was good to see a Migrant Hawker out the front when home today the first dragonfly or damselfly I recall seeing at or from home. Black-eyed Susan, sedum, buddleia and sunflower looked great in the sun at home. A fantastic wild weekend.

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marzonomy · 1 year

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Updated Request Rules

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT SUPPORT ALL OF THE TOPICS I WRITE ABOUT (Serial Killers, Yandere, etc)!!

Requesting:

Please be a little specific! "[X] x S/O" is just too vague, and leaves nothing to the imagination. Even a simple adjective ((Yandere [X], tall s/o, anything that's not against the rules)) is good enough!

Characters I'll write for :

Wally Darling, Howdy Pillar, and Barnaby B. Beagle

Creepypasta List Link :

South Park List Link(aged up + slightly different personalities bc that's what happens when people grow up and it's mad weird to see aged up sp content and like, everything about the characters is the exact same.) :

Danganronpa list link :

Jasper (Steven Universe)

Blue Diamond (Steven Universe)

Spaceman Benny (Lego Movie, SFW only)

Manray (the Spongebob villain with huge tits)

Rob (The Amazing World of Gumball, aged up)

Jack Box (the Jack in the Box mascot)

Spamton G. Spamton (my silly beloved!!)

Dr. Two Brains (Wordgirl)

John Doe (Mortisfox)

Heim (House Hunted 2/mortisfox)

Bob Velseb (Spooky Month)

2D (Gorillaz)

Flippy (Happy Tree Friends)

Rick Sanchez (C-137, J-19 Zeta 7, and Prime - Rick and Morty)

Topics I'll write about :

The basic topics everyone writes about

Yanderes

Smut/Lemon/NSFW (kink friendly)

Dub-con (will have a tw)

Topics I WON'T write about :

Pedophilia

Canon x Canon (except for polyamory)

Canon x OC

Anything proship or comship

#requests #requests open #creepypasta x reader #steven universe x reader #danganronpa x reader #wally darling x reader #yandere x you #barnaby beagle #howdy pillar #barnaby x reader #howdy x reader #x reader #south park x reader

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gvfgal · 1 year

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Snow Angels (Dad!Danny)

Dad!Danny

No warnings, super fluffy!!! Some details about readers life that may not be accurate to you (all for the fun of fiction).

A/n: From this ask…Dad!Danny, but make it holiday!!!

Word Count: 4.7k

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Being raised in the South, you had never ever seen snow. You’d never been that lucky, never in the right place at the right time, and it drove you up the wall.

Even after you’d started dating Danny five years ago, Michigan never saw you in its colder months; never in the right place at the right time. But as you looked out upon the winter scape ahead of you as Danny drove down a winding back road in Michigan, you were hopeful.

No snow had fallen yet, but the bitter cold was visible in the air, and the heat was roaring through the vents in the car to warm your chilled bodies.

Leave it to Danny and you to move across the country 4 days before Christmas. The last few weeks were stressful as you scurried around finishing up last minute business back home, Danny unable to help much due to last minute obligations with work. But somehow, you all managed. And here you were, on your way to your forever home, a quaint little two story cabin in a small tucked away neighborhood.

“Never seen snow?” Danny was shocked, jaw dropping in astonishment as he navigated the narrow turns, “Angel why have you never told me this?”

You chucked a bit, pulling your knees up to your chest, body contorted in a strangely comfortable position in the passenger seat.

“I don’t know, I never thought to bring it up.”

He shook his head, disappointed , “unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable. Five years of us being together and you’ve never mentioned it.”

You shrugged.

“You know if you would’ve told me we could’ve come to Michigan for at least one Christmas. It’s kinda disheartening as a Michigan boy, that my lady has never seen snow.”

A laugh poured out of you, “your lady? When did we start that?”

Danny glanced over at you with a smirk before turning back to the road, “since now. New house, new nicknames.”

You knew he was just basking in the excitement of the move. Sure the name might stick, but to Danny, you’d always be Angel. His angel.

“Well you know who else has never seen the snow before,” you turned to look back at your beautiful 2 year old girl in the backseat of the car, strapped into her car seat, completely zonked out. She had on a tan onesie decorated in Christmas trees under a pair of overalls, a matching beanie pulled snuggly over her wild hair. Her boots had been kicked off long ago, leaving her in a pair of green fuzzy socks.

This made Danny smile, and he adjusted the rear view mirror to get a glimpse of her.

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she?”

And she really was. Her dark bouncy curls inherited from her dad, and her long fluttering lashes from you. A beauty mark above the right side of her lip being her touch of individuality.

“Yeah,” you sighed dreamily, “she is.”

Danny put his blinker on as he turned down an even narrower path to your left.

“You think she’ll like the snow?” he indulged you, hand reaching across the center console to rub your thigh.

Your eyes were still on your baby girl as you nodded, “I think she’ll love it. You know she loves anything new, adventurous like her daddy.”

He squeezed your thigh at that, “you’re right. Except turnips. She didn’t like the turnips.”

You chuckled again, “definitely not the turnips.”

After about 15 more minutes, the three of you were pulling into your expansive neighborhood, a feeling of comfort washing over you.

Every house was about half a mile apart, so it was a couple minutes before you pulled up to yours. But when you finally saw it, a smile spread across your face involuntarily. It was even more beautiful than you remembered it when you saw it back in July.

“There she is,” Danny mumbled as he pulled into the dirt driveway.

He put the car in park with a sigh before turning back to look at your daughter.

“Little Angel,” he poked her plump thigh, calling her by her respective nickname (you were Angel, she was Little Angel, it had been that way since the beginning), “wake up beautiful. We’re home.”

She stirred, bringing her fists up to her eyes to rub them, before blinking up at Danny.

Once it registered that she was looking at her dad, her favorite person in the world (so Danny says), her face lit up.

“Dada hi,” she squealed, squirming under the restraint of her seatbelt.

“Yeah,” Danny cooed at her, “come on let’s go check it out.”

You both climbed out the car, Danny immediately going to retrieve her from the backseat.

You marveled at the towering trees that were sprinkled around your property, inhaling the fresh icy air.

Upon exhaling, your breath appeared as a cloud of condensation in front of you, and a small gust of wind blew by, causing you to pull your coat tighter around your body.

Danny shut the car door, settling the toddler on his hip before making his way around the car to you.

“Cold,” she mumbled, though the L was silent.

“I know,” he pinched at her side, making her fidget in his hold, “it is pretty cold huh little one?”

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his warmth.

“So, do you like it,” he looked down at you, his cool breath fanning over your face visibly.

“I love it.”

He took in the scenery around with a deep sigh, your daughter seemingly entranced by the view as well, silent as her nose began to redden.

“Alright my two favorite girls, let’s get inside, shall we?”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The next few days were chaotic. Thanks to the help of Danny’s family, all of your boxes and furniture, old and new, were waiting for you inside your new home. Some are already put together, some still in their boxes. The problem was, it was a whole house worth unpacking.

You spent the entirety of the first day unpacking the downstairs, figuring the three of you would just crash in the living room for the night, maybe watch a movie on the Tv that had yet to be hung.

Danny’s parents also graciously stocked your fridge and pantry for you, and you were able to prepare a nice meal of spaghetti and garlic bread with a side salad. Danny was occupied putting together the new dining room table that you ordered, your daughter ‘helping him’ complete the task.

You sat at the table having your first dinner in your new house as a family, your daughter seated between you in her high chair, red sauce smeared across her face as Danny fed her cut up spaghetti on a small purple fork, making train noises as he did so. She could hardly eat for the fit of laughter that consumed her, and you sat beaming at the two of them together.

Danny wasn’t just an amazing dad, but an amazing husband. He always made sure to keep your daughter entertained long enough during dinner so that you could eat your food first, not having to worry about juggling a toddler in the mix.

You enjoyed your food as they joked along, Danny managing to steal a few bites of his own food and getting her to eat some as well.

“Alright you two,” you smiled as you wiped your hand on a napkin, “let’s actually get some of that in your mouth for a change huh?”

Although your words were a playful jab at Danny, your tone was bubbly and light hearted as you looked down at your daughter.

“Oh come on Angel, I did pretty good this time,” he handed you the fork and let you take over as he finished off his own plate.

Once dinner was finished, Danny and you dispersed. Him taking your little girl upstairs for a bath, and you begin to tackle the dishes.

After you finished, you relieved Danny of his bath time duties, and he disappeared down the hall to shower.

About 20 minutes later he returned just as you were emptying the water from the tub and wrapping your daughter in her brown bear towel, tagging himself back in as you went to take your own shower.

Danny and you had become experts at parenting together. You guys had a flow to your routine that sort of came naturally, both of you dedicated to listening and understanding each other in this new found territory. And with two years to perfect the craft , you guys practically danced through life with your daughter, the three of you so in sync.

“If we’re this good now,” Danny joked one night while in bed at your old apartment, “imagine when she’s 16. We’ll be raising the best damn teenager in the world.”

Before you knew it, the three of you were nestled on the floor below the couch on a pallet that your daughter once again ‘helped’ Danny construct with about 7 blankets. It was cozy. Shrek played on your Tv, it being one of the only DVDs you still had from your childhood. The Tv had yet to be hooked up to the wifi. Baby steps.

Your daughter had knocked out almost instantly, her round lips slightly parted as she lay sprawled between you and Danny.

He rubbed gently over her hair as his eyes focused on the Tv, you laying on your side facing them, in utter amazement at the fact that this was your life. You felt full and complete as you fell asleep that night.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The next day was two times as taxing. It started bright and early at 5:30am, when a chill that rattled your bones pulled you from your sleep. The house was freezing. You gently placed the back of your palm on your sleeping child’s face, luckily she was still fairly warm.

“Baby,” you tapped Danny’s shoulder lightly. You hated to wake him, you know he was exhausted from the past few weeks, and he looked so peaceful as he slept.

He stirred a bit before blinking his eyes open, similar to the way your daughter does. She really is his twin.

“What Angel? What’s the matter?”

“The house,” you whispered, trying not to wake the baby, “it’s freezing. I don’t think the heat is working properly.”

He sat up from under the blanket, taking a moment to let the chill of the house sting his skin.

“Yeah it is pretty cold, huh? Let me go check it out.”

With slow movements, he got up from the floor, shuffled into his house shoes, then made his way to the basement, which would soon be his personal music studio, to assess the problem.

After a few minutes, you heard Danny begin to fumble with something, the sound of it echoing through the house, causing your daughter to squirm.

You closed your eyes tight, saying a silent prayer that she’d stay asleep.

But as another loud noise made its way up to where you two were sitting, you knew it was no use.

By 6:30, you were standing over the stove making pancakes, your toddler sat in her high chair picking at scattered blueberries you’d placed in front of her. The sunrise was one of the warmest organes you’d ever seen. The light made its way into your kitchen through the icy haze that clung to the air outside, casting a warm glow through your home.

Danny put a fire on to knock out some of the chill while he worked on the heater, using some left over wood he found out back.

After about 30 minutes of fumbling, and coated with a nice sheen of sweat, he bounced upstairs to shower and change. But not before he greeted you and his daughter good morning, kissing you on the forehead and swatting at your backside, and planting a million kisses on his little girl’s cheek, stealing one of her blueberries in the process.

“I think the heat is working now, but it’s gonna take awhile for the temp to regulate. I’m gonna run into town and get some more firewood,” he explained as he climbed the stairs, his voice becoming more and more faint as he ascended.

He was just in time to join the two of you for breakfast, dressed now in a cable knit sweater and large jacket, cargo pants, and boots.

You sat his plate at the table, along with a glass of orange juice, and he kissed you in appreciation, before smiling over at your daughter who was clutching a piece of a pancake in her fist roughly, ready to put it in her mouth.

“What you got there, Little Angel,” he queried, voice oozing with excitement.

She looked over at you with a questioning look.

“Tell daddy pan-cakes. I have pan-cakes,” you sounded it out for her.

She turned back to Danny with a smile, “pakay.”

“Pancakes?! No way that’s awesome,” he was drowning his own in maple syrup.

After breakfast Danny headed into town to get more firewood like he said, and you tidied the kitchen before moving upstairs to start more unpacking, but you quickly realized it wasn’t going to be so easy.

Your toddler was rampant, running circles all over the house, sticking her head in boxes she had no business being in (forever the curious child), not letting you get a single thing done.

About 45 minutes into your attempt, she adamantly decided that today was the day she was going to become potty trained.

But that turned into 30 minutes of you perched on the side of the bathtub, staring at your little girl, her round brown eyes staring back at you, CLEARY not ready to make that leap yet.

Danny returned shortly after that ordeal, and you dressed her in warm clothes to go outside and watch him carry firewood from his car around the back of the house.

He brought a log inside to add to the dying flames in the fireplace, before the two of you agreed to tackle the little one’s room together.

It was almost three hours of work, Danny constructing her brand new toddler bed and dresser, and you hanging and folding clothes, starting a give away pile in an empty box.

Your daughter was fairly cooperative while the two of you worked, switching between handing you hangers and items of clothing you’d already sorted, and handing Danny his tools.

“Screwdriver,” he held his hand out to her. She looked over the tools displayed in front of her before handing him the measuring tape.

“Come on Little Angel,” Danny faked frustration, “you’re two now, you oughta know the difference between a screwdriver and measuring tape.”

Your daughter giggled, looking back at you as if to say ‘did you hear him?’

“I know,” you nodded down at her, understanding the look completely, “your daddy is crazy.”

Once she got the idea that it was smart to start sticking screws in her mouth, you knew it was time to break for lunch.

You packed her downstairs and sat her in front of the Tv while you began preparing sub sandwiches while Danny finished hanging her initials on the wall above her bed.

Lunch was fairly quiet, you and Danny already feeling the weight of the day starting to kick in, but the work didn’t stop there.

After your meal, the three of you were back upstairs tackling more rooms and boxes, your daughter completely opposed to taking a nap. It proved to be a very difficult task, moving into a house and juggling an energetic 2 year old, but just as you always did, Danny and you managed. Tag teaming back and forth to entertain your daughter while the other completed a job. Danny even took 30 minutes to walk her around the property as you put away clothes in your closet.

By the time nightfall rolled around, you Danny and your little one were so spent, cooking dinner was absolutely out of the question.

You all were stretched across your pallet in the living room, a pizza between the three of you as the Tv played some Netflix Christmas movie. The quality time was short lived before you were all fast asleep, a tangle of limbs down on your living room floor.

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“As temperatures continue to drop in the area, and that precipitation begins to move in, we can expect to see that heavy snowfall we were talking about as early as 6 this evening. It’ll continue snowing through the night, leaving us here in Michigan with another white Christmas.”

The news lulled from the Tv as your daughter slept soundly between you and Danny. The sun just barely beginning to show itself to the world.

“Looks like you and Little Angel are gonna get to see your first snow,” he turned to you with a charming grin.

“And on Christmas Eve at that, it doesn’t get any more Hallmark than that,” you added with a chuckle.

Danny reached over and poked your nose before settling back on the floor.

“So Captain Wagner, what’s the game plan for today?”

“Well,” he began, “I figured since we already got all of the important stuff unpacked, we could maybe head into town for breakfast. I passed a cute little diner when I was getting firewood yesterday. Then we could go to the tree farm and pick up a tree, maybe? I know it’s probably slim pickings now, but something is better than nothing. Then we can get everryyything we need need to make a beautiful Christmas meal, and hopefully beat the snow to come back and decorate.”

You admired his holiday spirit, his face hopeful as he waited for you to respond.

“Dan, don’t you think it��s kinda late to try and put up Christmas decorations? It’s literally Christmas Eve.”

“Come on angel” his voice was hushed, “this is our first Christmas in our new home, our forever home. It’s not gonna feel right if it’s not at least a little festive. I already saw the box with Christmas decorations down in the basement, and my brilliant, sexy wife had the mind to wrap the presents before we moved. How hard could it be? We can leave it up until July if you want to.” He looked down at your slumbering child, “think about Little angel.”

“Trying to guilt me, huh Daniel,” you teased him with a jab in the ribs, “fine. Okay fine, why the hell not?”

And that’s exactly what you guys did. Your daughter slept another 30 minutes before you and Danny whisked yourselves through your morning routine, leaving the house just as the sun had found its place in the sky. The ride into town was about 20 minutes, the three of you singing along to different renditions of Christmas songs, full of the good ol’ Christmas spirit.

Breakfast was full of laughter. Your daughter found joy in the way Danny was smearing powdered sugar from his French Toast across his mouth, then pretending not to notice.

Luckily, the diner was fairly empty, save for a few older couples who didn’t seem to mind the nonstop uproars coming from your table.

“Dada siwwy,” she babbled as she looked up at you, and you nodded in agreement. “The silliest.”

After breakfast, you were off to the tree lot, and Danny was right, it was slim pickings, but none of you seemed to care, too caught up in your own little world to let that slow you guys down.

Your toddler stayed perched on her Dad’s shoulders the entire time, ogling at the trees as he walked past them, enjoying the new perspective.

You couldn’t resist snapping a picture as Danny leaned in to let her brush her fingers along the needles of one of the trees, turning back and smiling at you, completely taken aback by her interest. That would definitely be your new screensaver.

The bitter cold didn’t allow you guys to browse for long, though, and you quickly settled on a modestly sized Douglas fir, pre-trimmed to save you guys the extra trouble.

While one of the workers helped Danny secure the tree to the top of the car, you and the little one continued through the trees, and after about 15 minutes, Danny came to find you.

The shift ahead in the weather was palpable, the temperature continuing to drop and the air became frosty,

“Alright my angels,” Danny grinned as he lifted his daughter into his arms as she clambered towards him, “let’s get to this store so we can beat this weather.”

Your trip to the market was a short one. While you waited for Sleeping Beauty to wake up that morning, you and Danny decided on Cornish Hens for Christmas dinner, under the condition that he would prepare them and you’d make the sides. There were only a few things you needed, and your toddler was approaching her nap time rapidly, her mood making a complete 180.

Danny tried his best to keep her entertained while you guys wandered the aisles, making funny faces at her, giving her different items out of the basket to hold, even sending her sailing down the bread aisle with neither of you pushing her. He waved as the cart drifted further from the two of you, and this caused her to laugh hysterically.

By noon, you guys were pulling back into the driveway. The drive took a little longer due to Danny being as careful as possible with the tree strapped to the roof of the car.

And to your relief, your daughter had only dozed off about 10 minutes ago, meaning she’d be ready for a nice nap once you guys were inside, giving you and Danny a chance to get ahead on the decorations.

Not one to want to miss out on holding his sleeping child, Danny went to retrieve her from her car seat while you grabbed the few grocery bags that were in the trunk.

He walked gingerly into your warm abode, so very carefully removing a few of her layers so that she could sleep comfortably. She whined and wiggled a bit, mumbling things neither you or Danny could comprehend. But once he laid her limp body down onto the couch, she was back in her deep sleep like nothing happened.

And you spent the rest of your afternoon doing exactly what you said you would. With a little teamwork, Danny and you were able to get the tree inside and upright, surprisingly not waking up your daughter in the process.

Danny retrieved the two large rubbermaid boxes full of Christmas decor from the basement, and with continuous rounds of Baileys and Hot Chocolate and several different versions of ‘Jingle Bells’, you and your husband worked away at transforming your new house into a home.

Your daughter was awake a couple hours later, and upon seeing what you and Danny were doing, she was eager to lend a helping hand.

One of your new neighbors came by at some point to drop off a large pot of chicken noodle soup, and around 6, you were putting it on the stove to heat it up.

But you couldn’t focus much, due to the fact that you were all but biting your nails as you watched Daniel, your daughter on his hip, standing on top of a chair, putting the tree topper on the top of the tree.

“Please be careful,” you worried, taking a sip from your mug.

“Little angel,” Danny looked down at her briefly, “tell mommy we got this.”

“Gotis,” she repeated to the best of her ability.

After dinner, you all were snuggled up on the couch, watching polar express.

“We did pretty good at decorating don’t you think,” Danny asked as he looked around your home.

He was right, although the decorations weren’t as elaborate as you’d liked them to be, with the time you guys had, you had to admit it was a job well done.

“Pretty damn good if I say so myself.”

Your daughter's eyes were glued to the Tv, and Danny chuckled a bit as he gazed down at her.

“Do you think she can even grasp the deep meaning of this movie?”

You brought your eyes to her too, “well you know, she does have a lot of deep conversations with Josh. I wouldn’t be surprised if she understood it better than us.”

Knowing that you guys were talking about her, she looked up between the two of you, her brown eyes twinkling in the light of the Christmas tree.

You were about to say something to her, but a shadow outside the window caught your attention. You stared out the glass, until you saw another small wisp of something white pass the window, then another, and before you know it, the white flurries were falling one after the other.

Then it registered.

“Dan,” you gasped, turning to look at him. His eyes were already set on you with a silly smile, “is it… snowing?”

“I’m no expert,” he shrugged, “but I’d say yes.”

The squeal of excitement that left you would’ve been embarrassing if you weren’t so stoked. You jumped up from the couch to get a better look out the window as the light fluffy snow began coating the ground, picking up its speed.

“Oh my God, oh my God! It’s snowing!”

You began racing around the house, looking for your discarded jacket and boots, Danny took this as a sign to gather up your clueless daughter and get her dressed as well.

Too caught up in the moment, you raced out the front door and into the night, standing in the middle of the yard, face to the heavens, letting the icy snowflakes melt against your skin.

Danny and your daughter weren’t too far behind you, her taking her usual place on his hip as they stood at the threshold of the house, watching you twirl around without a care in the world.

“Look little angel, you see the snow,” he beamed at your daughter. A snowflake planted itself on her eyelash, and she blinked rapidly.

“Owie,” she rubbed her eye, Danny laughing at her antics.

Vision now clear, she watched as you pranced around in the yard, and suddenly wanted to join in on the fun.

She wiggled in Danny’s arms, trying to get down, “okay okay,” he calmed as he set her on the ground.

Her boots crunched underneath her, and she steadied herself, trying to get used to the change of terrain, before she began clambering towards you on not so steady legs, but she was excited nonetheless.

You turned back to look at her; so lovely, too perfect. Half of you, half of the man you love most in the world.

“Look baby! Our first snow,” you cheered as you squatted down to greet her, causing her excitement to bubble over.

“Nowin’! Nowin’!” She repeated as she ran circles around you, sticking her tiny hands out to catch the falling snowflakes, a little confused as to why they were disappearing.

The pure joy you felt in that moment was unmatched, you didn’t even care that you were freezing.

You turned to look at Danny with a grin, and he returned the look, leaning against the door frame as he watched the two of you reveling in the blanket of white, loud screams of delight from your daughter warming both of you.

Danny didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky to be here, now, in this perfect life that the two of you made for yourselves.

He didn’t know, but he’d never question it, he’d simply enjoy it for the rest of his days, thanking the higher power for showing him so much favor.

Snow continued to fall, you and your daughter continued to play, and Danny continued to marvel, looking out on his life as if he were looking in a snow globe, at the most beautiful snow angels he’d ever seen.

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