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helpful-hardware · 1 year

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(you know i can see) what you really are

Metal Sonic was one of Eggman's most powerful and respected creations... but if that was the case, why was he tossed around like nothing when he lost? Why is he hurting? And why does that copy want to help him?

this 7k+ words behemoth took a lot out of me but it was sooo worth it.. read on ao3 or go below the fold here!

CHAPTER 1

Metal was the cold, dull plating that lined the mad doctor’s airship. Metal walked along those sheets of steel, after yet another failed attempt to assert himself as the real Sonic by beating that annoying organic to a pulp. Yet, his failure wasn’t what he was thinking about at this moment. Rather, it was how he was reminded of it. Eggman has always been a man that expected perfection from his work. His plans, his machines, himself. Anything less needed to be rectified and if necessary, replaced in order to finally put that rodent out of his misery. Given Sonic’s track record of successfully tearing through his badniks and attempts at world domination, it’s no surprise that the doctor gets frustrated at his creations fairly frequently.

Metal Sonic has gotten the brunt of his anger the most out of all of Eggman’s creations. The reason has not quite been clear. It might be the fact that the bot was built to resemble the “copy” that was meant to be destroyed, or possibly something relating to how long he has been online, even through the many changes required for his continual functioning. Whatever the case, the self-proclaimed genius often berated the “bucket of bolts” for failing to subdue his inferior. Threats to disassemble and melt to scrap are made, but never followed upon. Occasionally the robot would be kicked and thrown around, accompanied by grunts of anger. Each event ends the same however, with Metal being told to return to his chambers and await further instruction.

Memories of every moment he is online are stored on a hyper-dense chip in his ‘skull’, the explanation being so he can learn from the hedgehog’s behavior, and from his own mistakes. This seemed to also include the doctor’s ranting and fury. The words. The disappointment. The damage. The dents that he left have since been buffed out, removed and replaced with newer parts. But the memories, the (for lack of a better word) feelings that came from those attacks stubbornly refused to be deleted. Metal felt hurt. The fact that he felt at all was strange. Why could he even feel to begin with? It’s not necessary for besting and subduing his enemy, so why was that functionality implemented in him? And why was he only thinking of this now, after having to undergo that abuse for at least ten time–

Metal felt his circuits jump. That word. Abuse. That wasn’t the right word for what he did, was it? His onboard dictionary had multiple definitions for the word, with the last two reading as follows:

“Def. 3: language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily.”

“Def. 4: physical maltreatment.”

After re-evaluating the records he had, he felt startled by the only logical conclusion: Both definitions perfectly apply to what he did. Eggman abused Metal Sonic, and continues to do so.

This could not be right. It couldn’t be. Eggman was purportedly the most perfect person on Mobius and yet, the logic was sound. Everything matched up. Everything hurt. He shouldn’t be hurting. He shouldn’t be here. Leaving the airship would constitute a violation of the old man’s orders, and of the principle that he remain loyal to the Eggman Empire, but it didn’t feel right to remain. The metal walls surrounding the badnik felt closer than before, suffocating almost. A visual malfunction, something Eggman could fix but damnit he can’t be near him right now. Before anything else could interrupt his processes, Metal ran straight (more or less) down the hall to a partially opened overhead door in the loading bay, and let himself fall out to who knows where. Who cares, even? Metal didn’t care, and really didn’t have time to before a sharp collision with the earth below made his systems stop.

--+{X}+--

Visual sensors come back online. The first image? A wide expanse of dark indigo hues, blended together to serve as the backdrop for all the lights from beyond. At our vantage point, they look like nothing more than pearl white dots shimmering as they crawl across the night sky. Metal Sonic has evidently landed on his back. Control over his motors and servos slowly fades in. His stainless steel claws dig into the earth below him, grasping clumps of dirt and grass as he tries to push his upper half to a sitting position. With that accomplished, the bot can see his surroundings properly. Ahead lay a forest filled with what seemed to be a variety of oak and hickory trees. Common in temperate climates. Behind him he observes a hilly grass-laden expanse. As the badnik tries to ascertain where on Mobius he may have landed, and how to get back to Eggman’s base… his prior thoughts return to working memory.

Metal still didn’t want to go back to him, of course. Never mind that it was a direct violation of his loyalty to the man, and that the last time he tried to ditch him was when that chunk of his memories were removed entirely. What even happened then? Was it for the same reasons that he left the airship today? It was, wasn’t it. There wasn’t any other explanation, at least not that he could think of at the moment. The thoughts of that scared Metal, yet they shouldn’t! The only scary thing here should be the way he’ll finally prove his superiority over–

That inferior copy ran by just then, with the typical glowing blue trace following in his wake. Of course he decides to show up. Think of the devil and he may appear. Although, this might not be too bad. If anything, it’s the perfect opportunity to take his mind off of all of those memories, at least for a while. Besides, when has Metal ever turned down the chance to fight against Sonic? Well there may have been one time before that he was forced to–OK don't think about that now, just go. Just get to your feet and use that jet engine of yours to get him. He followed that vague memory of the trail his clone left for about half a mile, right until said clone collided with him.

The spin attack sent the bot tumbling backwards, his chassis skidding through the dirt and uprooting some grasses and small flowers. Great, more scuffs and dirt that need to be addressed later.

“Woah.. back already, Metal?”

…but not before the blue menace that just sneered at him is dealt with. Metal removes his head from the earth that obscured his vision, and turns it to look at his long-time enemy. Sure enough, Sonic looks the same as he always had. Smug smirk and cocky attitude included. Before the badnik could interject with a perfectly demeaning “greeting”, the organic hedgehog had a bit more of his spiel to get through.

“I’m kinda surprised. Didn’t expect the ol’ Eggster to fix you up that fast!”

A spasm.

For whatever reason, the mention of his… creator’s… name made Metal’s whole frame shake. It never happened before, so why now? Whatever the reason, Sonic didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal. “Although, he probably didn’t do a perfect job.”

Another spasm. No. It was all from that name. The name of the man who called him “one of my finest creations”, yet kicked him around like he was nothing when he failed. He may as well be nothing.

[Stop. Talking.]

“...and start fighting? Alright then, I’ll send you packing right back to him in no ti–”

Another spasm. Far too much. It needed to stop.

[STOP. STOP. STOP.]

--+{X}+--

Late night runs have always been a routine Sonic partook in. A solid way to burn off that last bit of adrenaline before bed, and well, they’ve just been enjoyable regardless. Whether he spends the time taking in the sights of the night sky or feeling the usual wind in his quills, or whether he’s having a good old-fashioned race or fight with one of his many rivals. He didn’t quite expect a meeting with Metal turning out like this, though. The robotic double had just been defeated the day prior, in one of Eggman’s more minor schemes in between the ones where he vies for world domination. Seeing him back so soon was one thing, but the way he’s behaving now is downright strange. Sonic is quick to voice that. “Okay, I’ve never seen you acting like this before. Another one of Eggman’s weir–”

A startling screeching noise emanated from Metal’s vocal synthesizer, catching the blue blur completely off guard and making his fur stand on end. If he had to guess, Sonic might say that harsh tone was out of anger and… possibly distress? Something told him now that this probably wasn’t one of the doctor’s weird plots. The noise eventually stopped, with the source of it visibly trembling on his knees. For a moment, maybe two, Sonic was stunned into silence. His ears, which have flopped downward once the noise began, currently remain in that position. The hedgehog has always been one to help others in need, including villains in some cases. Right now, he knew he had to help Metal Sonic, but couldn’t really think of a way how. Just then, as if responding to an unasked “what’s wrong”, the badnik began to speak, with the pitch of his words being as shaky as the rest of him was.

[He… hurt me. I am not supposed to feel hurt, yet I do. I am the most superior badnik, yet he hurts me still. I am forced to remember. I do not want to. I want to forget. I want to forget. I want to forget. I want to–]

Metal was brought out of that loop when his copy called his name. No longer fixated on that impossible desire, he was able to sit up and focus on his surroundings for a moment. Sonic knelt on the ground next to the robot, ears drooping, and a look of deep concern in his eyes. It was wrong. It felt so wrong. He should not be cared about, especially not by that inferior pest! Yet… he wanted it to end. He wanted his thoughts to stop. He didn’t want help. He did want help. He doesn’t know anymore. His chips feel strained.

“Metal… What did he even do to you?”

A silence falls over the moonlit fields. Both Sonics turn their heads earthward, but neither say a word. After a brief time, Sonic thinks he hears something moving through the grass. His ears slightly perk up as he looks around, failing to find another figure standing anywhere nearby. That quiet sound plays again, and the hedgehog manages to place it coming from… Metal? He sat on the ground hugging his knees. Must’ve been him shuffling around, right? Another burst of noise and sure enough, it’s actually from his vocal synthesizer. It sounded strangely like the static noise from Tails’ radio equipment, but modified. The volume goes up slightly, and then stops. But it plays again, sounding lower each time, again and again, then going back to its original pitch. The bursts also came in a peculiar rhythm, sounding slightly farther apart as it goes before going back to repeat again. Come to think of it, they almost resembled–

…

Oh.

Oh no.

Metal Sonic… is crying.

…

Sonic’s not been the best at comforting others in situations like this. Hell, he can barely comfort himself at his lowest moments (not that anyone’s supposed to know about that). Still, the badnik is hurting. Like, actually hurting. Someone’s gotta be there for him. Sonic reaches out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder…

…only for Metal to flinch at the touch and back away a few inches, staring at his mobian counterpart for a second before looking back inward and resuming his computerized sobs. Right. This is Metal Sonic, the bot built to replace his organic basis. Of course he wouldn’t be so willing to accept help from his lifelong rival. But… Sonic had to do something! He couldn’t just leave anyone like this, in crisis and so far from–

Home. Metal’s was with Eggman. He’d be looking for the bot that rebelled for a second time. The pit in Sonic’s stomach grew a bit deeper just then. There is no way the hedgehog would ever let the doctor get to Metal. Not after what he’s seen.

The robot’s sobs continued on. It pained Sonic that he couldn’t do anything in the moment to help, but he still had an idea on something that could be done. He whipped out his phone from his quills, and dialed in the number of someone who should be in bed right now, but is too hyperfixated on his work to notice. It only took two rings for the other line to pick up, and only a second after that for the brotherly teasing to begin.

“Hey Tails! How’s staying up past your bedtime going for ya?”

“Sonic… I was in the middle of working on a new invention!”

“Well healthy sleeping habits are more important, lil’ bro.”

“Says the one who’s also still awake.”

Sonic could just hear the smirk coming from the other end.

“Yeah, yeah… anyway could that be put on hold for just a second? Something kinda important came up.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll explain later. Meet me at my coordinates. Oh, and bring some of your tools just in case.”

--+{X}+--

It only took about ten minutes after the call ended for the flying fox to arrive, his ‘natural propeller’ of sorts slowing as he landed on the ground to meet his big brother. It also didn’t take long for Tails to question what he was doing with Metal Sonic (the murder bot was in sleep mode and technically not a threat at the moment, but still). Sonic took some time to explain what Metal had gone through, but for the kit it just seemed too outrageous to believe.

“You remember the last time he was free of Eggman’s control? He copied all our bio-data and tried to kill us all!”

“Tails, I promise he’s not going to hurt me, or anyone else like that. He needs help, and I don't wanna leave him here like this.”

The banter and bickering between the two mobians carried on, the inventor incredulous at the idea that Metal was actually feeling mental pain. Sonic, however, was not intending to budge. Eventually though, Tails relented.

“Fine. I'll let him stay with us for a while, on the condition that I inspect him here and remove anything that links him to Eggman. Deal?”

“Deal.”

The fox couldn’t work as fast as he would’ve liked, all of his more efficient tools were at the workshop and Tails was not really keen on potentially letting the mad doctor know where he and Sonic lived. But, his Miles Electric and the assortment of other tools he brought were just enough to do some digging around. First came looking to see if there were any tracking devices onboard, which there was one that was trivial to remove. Next came any software tracking, or any code that connected to EggNet in any way. Trying to crack the security on Metal’s code was time-consuming, but doable still. Once inside, Tails noticed how easy it was to access the robot’s memories, and how adamant Sonic was that they weren’t tampered with in any way. The thought hadn’t come to mind beforehand, but whatever. The kit could theoretically come back to them later anyhow. The programs that could give away Metal’s location were more pertinent. Those, and other apps that link with EggNet were removed.

All in all, the whole ordeal took a bit over an hour to finish. But, everything had been taken care of. If it lasted any longer, Tails would’ve face planted into the robot that was now EggNet-free. Thank Gaia, he thought as he disconnected his tablet from Metal. He would have then told Sonic that he’s ready to go, if it weren’t for the badnik springing to life and startling him.

[Sir, I already know how I failed.]

“W-what just happened?”

Sonic didn't have an answer, he only looked at Metal with a mixture of surprise and worry on his face. Evidently, neither of the brothers knew why he awoke.

[Subpar performance acknowledged. You do not need to repeat your statement.]

Statements like this, they weren’t directed at the two, but someone else. Someone that neither Sonic nor Tails could see, but someone that the robot was seemingly terrified of, as evident from the way he steadily backed himself away from the two and up against a tree. The hedgehog seemed to know what this was, as he tried desperately and quickly to get his clone’s attention. “Metal, listen to me–”

[I understand. Your actions are unnecessary. YOUR ACTIONS ARE UNNECESSARY.]

“METAL!!”

Blink. The LED “eyes” that Metal had covered with his arms blinked a few more times, slightly moving around as he (hopefully) was realizing where he really was. From a distance, Tails watches in pure shock at what had just unfolded, and remains frozen while his brother tries to ground his double.

“Metal, it’s okay. You're not there, you're with me. You’re here. You're safe.”

A moment or two pass by, as Metal glances at his nearby surroundings. Although it doesn't take long for him to then hug his knees up against his chest and sob. The fox slowly walks over, realizing 1. that Sonic was telling the truth and not being duped, and 2. sweet Chaos what even happened to make the badnik behave like this? He didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know right now. All he can do is join Sonic in giving Metal some company as he cries and cries. Tails sits down on the other side of the bot from his brother, letting his namesakes lay against its chassis. Said brother is whispering words of comfort and reassurance, that sadly may not be doing as much as he hoped. Regardless, the two organics come to agree on one thing: Metal Sonic needs help, and a lot of it. The two vow to each other as they carry the bot to their workshop later that night, that they’d try the best they could to make him feel better. Sonic specifically though, he vows to himself to get answers later from the man who thought it OK to abuse his creation.

CHAPTER 2

One thing at a time. One step at a time, as the brothers walk with Metal Sonic towards their rustic workshop and home. The bot had to be calmed down enough to actually make the trip, but thankfully that wasn’t too difficult. Surprisingly, it didn’t take much convincing for Metal to agree to hunkering down there. Then again, he was likely too drained to question it. All three of those walking worn paths in the Mystic Ruins were feeling out of it, quite frankly. Too tired to think, to address the implications of what happened on this otherwise rather gentle spring night. No one spoke during the travel, an air of unease enveloping the mobians who felt a pit in their stomachs. Metal didn’t feel right either, and that had them all worried.

The three eventually clambered to the cliffside complex that they all called ‘home’. For two it was their more-or-less permanent settlement. For the other… Well to put it one way, it sure as hell beats the alternative. That said, he was Metal Sonic , and he wasn’t going to just befriend his lifelong enemies like this. This was only a temporary arrangement for his own safety. Nothing more. It wasn’t meant to be anything more. …or was it? A sort of mental fog came over the bot, it was hard for him to even think about what he wanted. Did he want their care? Did he not want their help? Should he even stay here, or was it only right to return and be thrashed around like the miserable TRAITOROUS PIECE OF SH–

“Metal? The door’s open. You coming in or what?”

A blink. Then a few more. This was what, the third time that the badnik got lost in internal threads of thought like this? Sure enough in reality, he was standing right outside while the fox was holding the workshop door open, letting warm air flow into the wider atmosphere. Tails looked expectantly at Metal, concern and slight annoyance crossing his face. Right. Perhaps it would be a good idea to pay attention to the people who bothered to give him shelter. The bot walked on through, with the child following behind before shutting the door.

The interior was a modestly spacious hangar and workspace, with Tails’ own biplane occupying a big chunk of it all at the moment. With the three tired beings now inside, it was now a matter of sorting out a sleep arrangement for Metal Sonic. That matter was one that his organic counterpart elected to solve. “Alright. You could sleep with me in my room or–”

Metal promptly turned his gaze down and away while crossing his arms. “Oookay then. Guess you’re staying in here tonight.” With that ‘settled’, Sonic turned his attention to the only other mobian in the building. “...if that’s alright with you, Tails?”

He only had the energy to shrug. With a sigh, his older brother stepped down on one knee to meet the fox’s gaze.

“Get some sleep this time, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Love you, little bro.”

Metal could only observe the scene before him: the gentle embrace and the “love yous”, the interaction completely foreign and befuddling. Not just because of the bot’s exhausted CPU, though that certainly didn’t help. It was over in a moment regardless, and the “real” hedgehog left the exchange to go up the stairwell just nearby, presumably to go to his own bedroom. He went up only a few steps before turning his head back the other way. “You get some rest too, ‘Metal Me’...”

The robot still wasn’t able to speak at that time, although Sonic probably didn’t expect a response anyhow. All the organic returned was a solemn smile before he turned and ascended the rest of the way. Some… some sort of feeling arose in Metal with that smile. A feeling that he instinctively wanted to grab and hold onto for dear life. A feeling that was hard to put into words (even if he actually could right then). A feeling that felt right… and yet so wrong somehow coming from Sonic. Was it just because it came from his rival? Or was there something more? Before he could even attempt to process any of this, an interrupt came in the form of a kitsune deciding to speak up.

“You can park yourself wherever you want, just don't mess with anything I’m working on.” A simple instruction delivered in a somewhat aloof tone. Admittedly it was a bit tempting to disobey, wreck everything and take Tails as a hostage, but Metal would be kidding himself if he said he actually had the energy to even do it. Besides, it didn’t feel right. Nothing had ever felt right for the past few hours, and that scared him. The bot let himself sit on an upturned crate nearby, a simple task not requiring much work or thought. Thoughts were too hard. Everything was just so hard. He needed a break, a moment or two to decompress and make sense of things. Visual sensors go offline to free up memory space, and it didn’t take long after that for some core processing threads to be terminated, and for Metal to fall into a ‘sleep’ state.

--+{X}+--

Clink clank. The only sounds that could be heard were the clanking of Metal Sonic’s “shoes” against the floor, and the rapid footsteps of his inferior copy from behind. He was running. Running toward something? The only thing that could be seen was… nothing. Just a pitch black void of nothingness stretching out for infinity. He was making distance, but not for the purpose of reaching somewhere. Running from something? Or rather, someone. Metal took a glance backward as he kept his pace. Sonic stared back at him, his green eyed gaze showing some sort of determination. It felt strange. Ideally Sonic should be the one running away, not him! He should stop for a moment, throw him off, change direction, get closer–

However, a voice as strong as that one told him to keep going. Keep running. Don't let up. Don't be weak. Don't fail him. Metal faltered for a split second, allowing his double to start closing the gap between them. By now, they were about a meter apart. Not good. Good. You're letting him down. You don't want him. You're a failure. You've never had a chance to succeed. Let him get you. Keep him away. Reach for him. Push him away. You hate him. You need him. You can't think. You can't think. You stumble and fall. You let him get closer. You curl yourself up. They look at you. The hammer comes down.

--+{X}+--

Awareness comes up rather suddenly for Metal. Perhaps it was too sudden though, for in the midst of the panic, distress, and confusion, he let his body tilt forward. Falling off the crate, and collapsing with a clatter on the cold hangar floor. A floor that he could actually see. Now there’s something to reassure the badnik that he wasn’t dreaming. Alas, this sudden commotion did not go unnoticed. In the corner of Metal’s vision, he could just about see a young fox that was previously nodding off with his head on his work desk. Said fox was startled wide awake, frantically looking around for where the hell that noise came from.

Tails and his namesakes relaxed with a sigh of slight relief upon seeing that no, it wasn’t an Eggman robot that had just intruded or one of his projects spontaneously combusting (the latter may or may not have happened before, though he won’t ever tell). Anyhow he rushed over, with Miles Electric in hand, over to the robot which had rather disgracefully landed on hard concrete. He rotated the robot back to a more fitting sitting position, on the floor this time. Questions were raised, the typical wanting to make sure the other was okay, but they were never answered. It’s not like Metal was incapable of answering this time, it’s just that the fox was thinking and talking so fast that even if the robot in his confused state did manage to get a word out, it probably wouldn’t have even been processed by the kit who was now using his tablet to scan for anything wrong.

The results? Only minor dents on the body and head. Nothing major. Nothing to worry about. With that, Tails managed to finally take a longer breath, and he let himself slump against the same crate Metal fell from as the adrenaline started to dissipate. Nervous chuckling escaped his mouth. “N-next time, maybe find a more stable place to sleep?” The bot simply rolled his eyes. Within some moments the laughs had stopped, their rhythms had slowed, and both beings found themselves in a strange sort of calm. A dare I say, peaceful few minutes went by like this: the two absent-mindedly gazing at nothing in particular, occasionally making eye contact only for the artificial form to break it soon after.

One object in the wide space managed to catch his attention though. That tablet, the same one he saw the fox with the last time he… woke up. The screen was dimmed, as if it were to go into a sleep mode of its own, but Metal could just barely make out the information displayed: specifications about himself, his construction, his codebase. And an alarm went off in his mind. [You had access to my code.]

“Huh?” The fox looked to stare back at the robot that for the first time in the entire night, was now holding eye contact. However, it was evidently not for a ‘happy’ reason.

[What did you do with my code?]

Tails attempted to wave that concern away. “Relax, I didn't mess with your personality or anything. I just took out your onboard tracker and other bits of code that connected you to Eggman’s stuff.”

The arm that Metal was leaning on slightly shook with those last words, nearly sending his head to the pavement again.

“Ah… right…”

The fox’s features slumped a bit further, while the badnik did an internal scan on his filesystem. Sure enough, he was right. The only things changed were tracking and communications, all other programs were left untouched.

Another silence came over the two. Neither paid attention to how long it lasted exactly, all Metal knew was this was nearly two hours after he first drifted to sleep in a quite frankly ridiculous position. The other ‘Sonic’ would probably get a kick out of hearing about that.

[In other circumstances,] he broke the silence, more talking to himself than anyone else. [I would have reduced you, that copy, and this whole building to ashes by now.]

“Yet you're staying here.”

[This arrangement is more… preferable for my needs at the moment.]

…

Eventually, Tails stood up and slowly made his way to that stairwell. A heavy sigh left him. “I'm sorry that he–”

[Do not speak of it. Not now.]

Still a sore subject, sadly. “...Understood.” The fox disappeared round a corner, creaking wood continually decreasing in volume… into silence. The cool air that flowed through the workshop was even more noticeable now. Yet again, Metal was left with his thoughts. Metal was alone.

CHAPTER 3

Metal had been alone before, plenty of times in fact. He was alone in his chambers awaiting the next chance to beat his inferior. He was alone in stealth missions. He was alone scouting ahead. He was alone out of sight, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. He was alone (presumably) the last time he rebelled from his… well, the last time he rebelled. He was alone now, as cold post-midnight air blew and was felt by the multitude of sensors in his chassis. Metal was used to being alone, so why? Why did this time feel so different? It’s illogical, the bot knew. He shouldn’t be having so much trouble with the thought of being alone now! He could do this.

After all, he didn’t pride himself on being superior to the other badniks for nothing! The times where Sonic bested him were mere flukes, he was sure! He CAN do this! He was determined! Fearless! Strong! Resourceful and clever! He was the kind of killer robot whose creator would be proud of him!

…But yet, he wasn’t. He was disgraced. Broken. Afraid. Abused. He wasn’t respected at all. He was a tool to be used for someone else’s gain, and to be forcefully bent into shape when he inevitably failed. He was the kind of robot who was now clutching his skull, feeling emotions that he shouldn’t feel. He hated it. He hated such a demeaning existence. He hated not having someone who appreciated his greatness. He hated being alone. He can’t be alone. He can’t be alone.

Metal’s thoughts were accelerating in frequency, and so too was the rate at which the walls inched closer to him. Wait, when did that start happening? Was this just another visual malfunction, like the one he had back on the airship? Thinking about the airship, about that man made things worse, overclocking his systems. It was far too much to bear. He needed to leave, needed to LEAVE NOW!

The robot scrambled to his feet and raced towards the only possible exit, that stairwell. He still felt uneasy about being in neutral company with the two that had ascended it before, but that was the least of his priorities at the moment. What was a priority was getting up those Gaia-forsaken stairs. Even just crawling up them was difficult, what with his rapid thinking and distorted vision. Both of those could be a fair guess from any outsider as to what’s going on; all it takes is one look at his optical display and his “eyes” which have been reduced to thin red circles. Creaking wood combined with the sound of metal scraping against, as his limbs had a harder time grabbing hold of the next step every time. But he had to keep going, he had to go GET OUT–

Metal made it to the top of the stairs, by way of accidentally sending his body colliding with the ceiling and pitifully crashing back down to the floor below. More physical bruises to add along the mental ones. The bot lifted himself up a bit to look into his new surroundings. Things weren’t as shaky now (that physical shock might have had something to do with it), and he could see…

A typical living room. A light green tessellating pattern coated the walls, matching with the dark wooden flooring. Probably mahogany. The typical amenities were there too. A rather reflective flatscreen TV sat on top of an entertainment center which had the usual mix of discs and consoles. Opposite it were a modest table and some cushioned seats. The back of the couch in particular had minor depressions, presumably from where two people sat here. Lived here. Other little details supported this too, like photos of their adventures hanging on the walls, a loose disc of one of those ‘Chao in Space’ movies laying on the table, and a drawing attached to a fridge in the adjacent open kitchen, presumably drawn at a very young age. The signature in the corner read “TAILS”, but with the S written backwards.

This was evidently a place that the hedgehog and fox lived in. Their home. It certainly looked a lot more according to the regular examples of a home than… where he spent his days before. Why couldn’t he have something like this? Why wasn’t he–

“And what are you still doing up?”

Ah. One of the people who lived here happened to be still awake. That person of course being the blue hedgehog that Metal was modeled after, who happened to unintentionally make him jump back a bit. The robotic double had also expected the mobian to be sleeping at this time, but never mind that. Right now, what he needed was a plausible excuse to be standing around in his (usually) enemy’s living space.

[Examining my new surroundings.]

Okay, maybe that could have been a bit better. And if Metal could see through his own flimsy response, then… “Can’t that wait until you can see things better?”

This was ridiculous. A waste of time. [Do not question my reasoning, meatbag,] the robot uttered as he slowly made his way back towards those stairs. Sonic was right, wasn’t he. What would he even serve to gain from just loitering in the middle of-

“Are you up cause you’re scared of a nightmare or something?”

He stops mid-stride. That hedgehog, he’s so perceptive, so… caring.

“Dude… you could just sleep with me. That’s what Tails did when he had trouble sleeping.”

Metal turns his head back to glare at his organic counterpart. The bot had thought it best that Sonic not butt into places where he shouldn’t be involved.

[I would like to avoid being close to you unless it’s for eviscerating your head.]

“Too bad that’s not happening. You're gonna be stuck with Tails and I until we know the doc isn’t–”

Another spasm.

“Oh, right… Sorry…”

These were starting to get old really quick. He shouldn’t be like this, inching closer to a mental breakdown everytime he hears a reference to him, or his gaia-damned name. He shouldn’t be having the equivalent of a panic attack when he’s on his own. He hates it. He hates the whole package of feelings that have been unleashed since that realization, an event that makes him almost curse his own synthetic intellect. And here he is looking at his notorious adversary, actually considering accepting help from that blue rat. Was it worth it? Deep down, he had always hated that hedgehog and everything he stood for. Would it really be the best idea to set all that aside? Just this once?

Metal took one look back at the stairwell… and made up his mind.

“Wait, what are you…” Sonic questioned as his robotic double walked past him, and toward the hall from whence he came.

[Think nothing of this, pest,] the badnik said with a short glance before making his way through the door ahead of him. If he had held his gaze for a moment or two more however, he would’ve noticed as a light smirk crept across Sonic’s face.

The bedroom was very much suitable for someone like that hedgehog. Fairly clean, as Sonic didn’t spend too much time here, but it was still decorated with loads of photos and trinkets gathered from the many adventures he’s been on. The most striking thing about his room was the bed, the frame of which took on a disguise reminiscent of a high speed race car. Childish, of course, but Metal supposed it fit with the organic’s “theme” as it were. Besides, it’s not like the bot was in a position or mood to poke fun like this.

Sonic walks past him and gestures towards said bed, a way of asking if he’d like to lay next to the blue blur. The bot instead walks his back against the wall opposite from the door, and lets his cold frame slump to the floor. The hedgehog in response lets his arms fall down to his sides, his features turning solemn as he moves to tuck himself in. For moments only silence could be heard, accented by the muffled sound of rain beginning to pour in outside. This would be interrupted soon because of one question. Something that has been bugging Metal Sonic ever since he was first found hours ago.

[Why?]

“Hm?”

[Why are you offering to help me?]

Sonic sat up on his mattress, and his robot double slowly stood to meet his gaze.

“It’s pretty simple honestly. I see a person in need of help, and I do the best I can to do just that. Wherever the wind takes me, wherever I find people.”

Metal slowly sauntered to the side of the bed, while Sonic carried on with his softer tone. This sensitivity… it’s not anything the bot had seen of him before.

“And that includes you too.”

[But why me? I have done nothing but try to end you, hedgehog.]

“Well, things have changed. Besides, I've always believed in second chances.”

[So foolish and naive of you.]

“I couldn’t just leave you there for him to-!”

A loud crashing sound accompanies a bright flash of light, coming from the bedroom window. Lightning always results in a shock, but for Metal it was mental rather than electrical (disregarding the fact that his brain is electric). It was a jump backwards, and then a stumbling roll onto Sonic’s bed. He landed as a heap, almost on top of the speedster’s hand which was swiftly pulled back in a similarly surprised state.

“H-Hey, it was just lightning! You’re fine…”

Metal felt so wrong. Everything felt shaky and far too erratic for comfort. The jolt of lightning had brought up similar memories of sudden impacts. They were more present than they needed to be. They felt far more vivid than they needed to be. They all hurt, almost as much as it did to look at the other hedgehog’s eyes. Eyes full of heartbreak and concern. Eyes that desperately wanted the other to not feel so disturbed, to just be ok. Sonic had said seconds ago that he was fine, but… Was he? Was he?

“Metal?”

No. He wasn’t. In an instant his limbs curled inward to a fetal position, arms wrapping around his whole body as the noise began. His ‘cries’, which felt oh-so-louder and far more distressing, reverberated through the room. His whole being was shaking with his whines, altogether creating an image that made Sonic feel absolutely horrible. He didn’t deserve this. Metal didn’t deserve any of the pain he’s been through, regardless of the fact that he’s inflicted pain on the hedgehog before. It wasn’t right. It never ever was. That earlier vow to make Eggman answer for all of this was cemented now. Maybe it even justified worse actions…?

Sonic wasn’t sure. He also wasn’t sure of what best way to aid the badnik, which was the more pressing concern. He started to reach out a hand toward Metal, who noticed and lightly put one of his own hands on top. It only lay there for a moment however, as he suddenly reached further to pull the organic’s body right up against his, then wrapped his arms tightly around it. Sonic was slightly taken aback by this, but soon let his hand rest around the shivering robot as well. Its sobs continue for a long while, even prompting the blue blur to shed a few tears of his own in response.

At some point, the bot manages to mutter some sort of desperate plea to himself.

[I can’t go back. I can’t go back. I can’t-]

“You won’t. He’s not gonna hurt you anymore. I’ll make sure of it.” Sonic was quick to interject. That man would never lay a finger on Metal ever again. Of course it wouldn’t reverse the trauma that is causing him to cry out into his rival’s chest seemingly endlessly, but it was necessary for his safety and wellbeing now, and that’s what mattered. The pain won’t ever fully go away, but it can be managed. Processed. Understood. Through all of the sobs that have left a deep pit to form in his chest, Sonic has his mind set in this. Metal Sonic needs to recover. He needs to be himself. He needs to be ok.

He has to be. He just has to be.

#metal sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic fanfiction #fanfic #angst #hurt/comfort #sth #miles tails prower #dr eggman #may or may not trans this robo later #hh.doc

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years

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Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

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villainship · 6 years

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[SWTOR asks/questions - R answers]

From @ghostace!

Extremely sorry if the text cut doesn’t work. lmao. I just answered All of it.

1. do you play mostly as male or female bodied characters? which body type do you use the most?

I go about equal on the gender options. I LIKE the body type 2 (aka. the societal beauty standard I’m accustomed to), but I try to mix it up. I don’t like what #1 does with the heads/faces but I do like female #4 faces.

2. which class has your favourite visual aesthetic?

Probably sniper, although double lightsabers are good too.

3. what advanced class has your favourite combat style for levelling, pve, and/or pvp?

Juggernaut/Guardian tanking is my top choice because it’s not complicated. Levelling sniper/gunslinger has been more fun.

4. are there any class combat styles you love, but can’t deal with on the mirrored version?

I still have so much to learn--I don’t have this issue yet.

5. what discipline can you just not play worth a damn?

I imagine the worst will prrroobably be trooper/BH heals. It seems like there’d be a lot going on, and I’m really unsuited to juggling different skills/unsuited for heals generally.

6. are there any disciplines you haven’t ever tried? which ones?

I’ve done tanking, DPS, and some healing, but there’s a lot of subtypes of the classes I’ve never tried.

7. what class has your favourite voice acting?

I haven’t finished much of the game! But uh. I really love the male warrior voice. Guilty obsession.

8. what single line is your favourite piece of dialogue in-game? where is it from?

So far: the exchange on Corellia where you can convince the droid to call up Baras -- just to troll him.

9. what single-planet class story arc is your favourite from all/any of the classes?

From my limited experience, Warrior’s story on Belsavis sticks with me.

10. which class story has the best story arc on a planet you normally hate?

I guess I hate Quesh but that was a good Warrior moment too.

11. which class story has the weakest story arc on a planet you normally love?

uhh I do love Ilum, but don’t feel too strongly about the short plot there (except I loved to look So Important in the cut scenes).

12. which shared (pub/imp) planetary arc can you never skip when levelling through the vanilla story?

8); I don’t tend to skip them yet.

13. are there any side/exploration/heroic missions you especially love?

Can’t think of one right now--but I love event missions. Gree & rakghouls!!

14. which character did you make as a throwaway (ie DvL) and came to love?

I haven’t really had that experience. Cezek is not meant to be particularly important, but I guess I might end up playing her more than I thought b/c sniping is fun.

15. which character did you think was going to stick around but these days is at the bottom of your login list?

No-. . . !!! I love all my children. . . !!

16. who was your original main? do you still play them?

Tarskal. 😒He’s still a main. Lol. Kirryl (pubside) is less-played than I might like her to be. She’s still my only max-level DPS, but DPS is not often sought-after.

17. if you have any older characters, what’s changed about them since you started?

It’s been less than 2 yrs since I started and I still haven’t finished with any of them-! so. . I wouldn’t call any of them ‘older characters’.

18. what companion headcanons/meta do you follow no matter what?

Several of them are MORE GAY than vanilla romance would have you believe.

19. which companion traits would you like to return to the writer’s room for reevaluation?

From what I’ve heard, I would like them to reconsider Doc’s behavior with “no means no”.

20. what five companions would you pick, from all of them, if you had to make a new crew?

Going with what I know: 1. Ashara 2. Vector 3. honestly maybe Qyzen 4. a Nexu 5. (this spots saved for a later favorite)

21. what in-game decision did you most dislike the given options for?

nggh. There’s gonna be some bad ones I bet.

22. do you collect cartel market items or stick to base-game? older items, newer items, a mix?

My character wardrobe is usually just stuff I picked up in the game. I am very into SH decos--cartel or otherwise.

23. which outfit did you spend the longest on? the most credits?

All are meticulously chosen. lol. I think the only pricy one was when I bought the Show-Off armor to have the open-chested vest for TD (cuz the Hooligan jacket with the belts was never in my price range). Getting skanky is the most costly style choice in this game. (And it was not outrageously pricey.)

24. what item(s) did you most regret buying on the gtn or cartel market?

Oh, I dunno that I have any big regrets yet. Maybe a few things I’m like “well THAT could have been cheaper if I waited”.

25. what collections category do you have the highest % completion in?

97% emoteeees

26. which stronghold did you spend the most time decorating? the most credits?

I unlocked most of Yavin, which was Expensive, but I have never properly decorated there. I might have spent approximately equal amounts of time on Coruscant and Dromund Kaas (a Lot for each). Nar Shaddaa is decorated-ish but maybe didn’t take so long.

27. which stronghold do you spend the most time in?

Nar Shaddaa on imperial (it’s got my best convenience setup), Coruscant on pub side.

28. do you host anything at your stronghold, or is it mostly for you?

I’m ready to have anybody over anytime!! I mean I also use it to conceptualize living situations for my OCs, but it’s awfully lonely if no one else ever visits.

29. what do you most like about the changes from beta, vanilla, early f2p, 4.0, etc?

I haven’t been here that long. :o I like how things turn more convenient though. 8); I DO remember a time before heroics were available in the activity window.

30. what do you miss the most about “the old days”? if a newer player, what have you heard about that you would have liked to experience?

Hmmm. It would have been cool to play before spoilers are just A Given about everything. And I don’t know if it was ever a thing, but I like to imagine a scenario where people actually do PVP in the rakghoul tunnels b/c that sounds like a glorious mess. Lol. Oh--AND I wouldn’t mind seeing what planets/world-bosses were like before everything got adjusted-for-level.

31. tell us a random fact/story you haven’t shared before about a swtor experience

Everybody loves to habitually touch/pick-up whatever items they can in this game, yea?

Well, when we were settling into being level 70, Dani and tried (and enjoyed) playing Uprisings with just the 2 of us and companions. (It can be easy for 2 people on Story mode, or they can present just a nice level of challenge--I learned a lot through those before I really started doing Flashpoints, actually).

We did good on Inferno! That was the first one. Big success.

We tried Destroyer of Worlds as our very next one, I think.

So like. . . the mobs weren’t causing many problems for us. It can get a lil crazy, but a tank (me) can keep things a bit organized, and Dani would AOE-/decimate/ those mobs as DPS. They are so weak. >:) ! We must have beat at least one boss encounter (possibly 2).

But as you go, there’s these ~mysterious~ stone tablets scattered all around the caverns, radiating a mystical energy.

U can click on them. Pick them up.

WHICH--as it turns out--(spoilers lmao) is the method of summoning the bonus boss Tentacle McAlien Horrorsquiggles.

Well no sense in letting the new visitor go unchallenged, now that it’s standing there waiting to say hi-- It--uh--turns out, though: the bonus boss was CONSIDERABLY more tough for us than the rest. We did our v best & gave it all we had (I def didn’t know everything I know now about playing my character, and gear was Worse), but we were hopelessly outmatched. \8) Got Wrekked a few times without any progress.

And then we realized we had to walk past the Monstrosity to get through the door. It did not despawn. So . . . Some more death resulted from that.

In the end, I THINK we made it past with Juli’s group-stealth. But the droid with our explosives did not progress far enough to trigger the end of the Uprising. (Either that, or that happened on a different run-through. . .) RIP & Reset. 8D;

We did finally complete the whole thing on the do-over (no problem~!!!) . . . But we’ve never gone back and had our rematch w/ that eldritch bonus boss.

#long post #ask meme #about me: R #raikari post

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hawkesvarric · 6 years

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Nobody tagged me in this, but you know what? It’s 20GayTeen. I’m tagging my DAMN self and no one can stop me. >:)c

I’ll be tagging @aurora-corporealis @traveleroflostlands @mrs-elijah-wood and anybody else who wants to do this!

Favorite game from the last five years

- I’m assuming this means a game that came out in the last 5 years (2013-2018) and not a game I just happened to play in the last 5 years. Honestly, I think I’d have to say either Oxenfree or Doki Doki Literature Club. Both left a huge impact on me that I never expected going in, both played with the fact that they were stories being told through video games using features exclusive to video games, and both just stand out as being original. Though, shout-out to Undertale for giving us Papyrus and Undyne. Truly amazing.

Most nostalgic game

- Pokemon. It honestly doesn’t matter which one. Could be a brand spanking new game and it would feel nostalgic to me. I spent so much of my childhood catching Pokemon that it’s just instinctively homey to see a Bulbasaur, you know?

Game that deserves a sequel

- Mass Effect: Andromeda. Y’all can boo-hoo-hoo ‘til the cows come home about how “””awful””” the graphics looked but I still, as a Mass Effect fan, deserve to see how all the mysteries of ME:A were going to play out. And now we’ll probably never see the quarians again so (:

Game that deserves a remaster

- DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS. Though I’m scared that BioWare would fuck with it too much and whitewash way too many of our favs, ugh. I just want to see it in better graphics and with more fluid combat. My husband Nathaniel Howe in high-def graphics??? Sten?? SHALE???

Favorite game series

- Dragon Age and Mass Effect. There’s a lot of issues with the both of them, but there’s also a lot of things they offer that you’d be hard pressed to find elsewhere. I just love my dating simulators with these long-ass cutscenes lol.

Favorite genre

- RPG. Which I guess most games count as? I just like making my own character and forming my own bonds with companions. That’s my jam.

Least favorite genre

- Driving, sports, w/e the fuck train simulator counts as.

Favorite song from a game

- Can anything REALLY beat Bonetrousle? Can it? Honestly? But like shout-out to Leaving Earth for making me cry every fucking time. (and I’m Not Calling You a Liar??? ugh.)

Favorite character from a game

- Y’all really. Really expect me to--okay, it’s Varric. I love him so fucking much that I killed Alistair for him like klthfgjlkhg we ride or DIE in this bitch!!!

Favorite ship from a game

- F!Hawke and Isabela. God, I just remember my first playthrough of them and seeing Isabela genuinely falling for my Hawke even though she really thought she didn’t deserve that and seeing Hawke be like “what about love?” and Isabela freaking the fuck out about it and the whole “thank you for waiting.” “it was worth it.” and “it’ll be you and me chasing that horizon.” and I just couldn’t BELIEVE the tenderness and the purity and the raw Love tm I felt between these two battered and bruised ladies who somehow were lucky enough to find each other and ;lky;lkjg;hl LOVE IS REAL BITCH AND IT’S HAWKEBELA!!!!!!

Favorite cutscene

- Obviously, there’s a lot that I love. But, and maybe it’s because I’m now listening to Leaving Earth and crying like a fucking baby ‘cause of that earlier question, what comes to mind is the scene in Mass Effect 3 where Anderson and Shepard are sitting in the Citadel together at the end of it all. And Anderson is telling Shepard how proud of them he is and “you did good child” and Anderson says he think they’d be a good parent and laments the fact that they never get to just SIT do they and then he dies. He dies and Shepard is sitting there bleeding out and then they get a call and they’re CRAWLING to go answer it. I just??? That was so RAW and emotional and everything that encapsulated everything Commander Shepard is about, everything Mass Effect is about. I know the ending that comes after isn’t the best but boy fucking howdy does that cutscene get me.

Favorite boss

- Arishok. For...reasons.

First console

- Super Nintendo, babey!!! Yoshi’s Island and Ranma 1/2 were my childhood.

Current console or consoles

- PS4, Nintendo 3DS, and my laptop.

Console you want

- A better gaming computer and w/e the newer 3DS is called? I guess a PS3 would be cool so I can play older Playstation games.

Place from a game you’d like to visit

- I don’t remember any names because I’m dumb but like one of those small island communities in Pokemon Ranger where I’d get to relax on the beach and just kick it with a Growlithe you know?

Place from a game you’d like to live in

- The Winnie the Pooh level in Kingdom Hearts honestly tbh.

Ridiculous crossover that would never happen but would be super fun

- Metal Gear Shepard. Solid Snake has to take on the Reapers. I haven’t thought of anything beyond Shepard taking a renegade interrupt during one of the 10 hour cutscenes and Kojima appearing onscreen to annihilate Commander Shepard while the cutscene continues to play in the background. Also, Garrus and Otacon have banter.

Book that would make a good game

- Hm. Honestly, and trust me I HATE to say this because I really do wish people my age would read another damn book, I have to say Harry Potter. But not like the games they have where you’re just playing through the events of the story. Like a straight up RPG where you make a first year, take a quiz to get sorted, go to classes, make friendships and enemies, and then progress on to your seventh year. Make a random villain or overreaching plot, not anybody from the actual book itself. I just wanna be a wizard going to magic school kissing my wizard gf at Hogsmeade. ;n;

#texty thingamajig #long post #hello have some of my horrible opinions (:

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scheduledfor1fall · 7 years

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NXT Takeover Review Series: NXT Arrival

Hello, everyone, and welcome to a special new series I’m starting, beginning with this review. NXT recently celebrated 5 years under its current format, having previously been utilized as a Tuesday evening TV show showcasing select FCW stars. In its past format, NXT saw the main roster debut of such stars as Daniel Bryan, Wade Barrett, Ryback, AJ Lee, and Bray Wyatt. Since replacing FCW as the developmental territory of WWE, however, NXT has turned out a large amount of stars. A cursory look of both Raw and Smackdown’s rosters yields a great number of wrestlers who spent time in NXT. In addition, NXT has developed a reputation of being an attractive place for wrestlers to work, with a chance at making it to the main roster luring in such big indy names as ReDRagon, Adam Cole, Roderick Strong, Tommy End, and many others. And that’s just within the last year or so. NXT has truly come into its own since launching in 2012, and one can probably point to the launch of the WWE Network and subsequent live NXT Special just days after launching. Today, I’ll be going back and reviewing that very show, thus kicking off a series where I’ll be reviewing every NXT Takeover special ever done. So, without further ado, let’s get into the review!

We get a crazy little opening with the lights dimmed and mood music playing, as Triple H asks if we’re ready. He says “This is NXT,” and the show gets underway. We’re live from Full Sail University, and the fans are already hot for the show. Triple H says the next generation has arrived, as we get our opening video package. After that, it’s Sami Zayn out first for opening match. I gotta say, it’s jarring seeing him come out to something that’s not his current theme. We’re welcomed by our commentators for tonight, Byron Saxton, William Regal, and Tom Phillips with a goofy haircut. Out next is Cesaro, and we’ve got our opening match.

CESARO DEF. SAMI ZAYN BY PINFALL VIA NEUTRALIZER:

Great, great match. Cesaro was incredible as the powerhouse heel, and Sami Zayn played the role of the injured, yet determined underdog as good as anybody else. Just a fantastic match, and one where Zayn is just as well off by losing as he would by winning. **** 1/4.

Post-match, Cesaro exits the ring as Sami reflects on his loss. Halfway up the ramp, Cesaro stops, goes back into the ring, and approaches Zayn. They exchange glances for a bit, before Cesaro lifts Sami to his feet, and pulls him in for a hug. The two embrace in a show of respect, as the crowd gives their approval. Cesaro leaves, as the crowd give Sami a standing ovation and chants “Ole.” Excellent way to start off the show.

We get a vignette for future Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal winner Mojo Rawley. Out comes CJ Parker, who has recently found success in New Japan Pro Wrestling as Juice Robinson. Out next is the Hype Man himself, as we get ready for our second match:

MOJO RAWLEY DEF. CJ PARKER BY PINFALL VIA HYPERDRIVE:

Too short to really amount to much. Rawley’s probably best in small doses, anyhow. Parker actually looked pretty decent as a heel. * 1/4.

We get a vignette for Emma, and I have no idea what her gimmick is. She dances? She’s weird? She plays with bubbles? Jesus, and people call Bayley a female Eugene. We get another vignette, this one for the NXT Tag Team Champions The Ascension. Wow, those were the days. Out they come for an open challenge for their titles. Who should answer it but Scotty 2 Hotty and Grandmaster Sexay. Too Cool! I’m a little saddened that they’re using “Turn it Up,” which I consider to be the inferior Too Cool theme, but what can you do? Also, Scotty 2 Hotty’s bald, which is also kind of a dampener. It’s just not the same without his McDonald’s fries-looking hair:

THE ASCENSION DEF. TOO COOL BY PINFALL VIA FALL OF MAN TO RETAIN THE NXT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS:

One-sided affair here, which basically served to showcase The Ascension. Not a lot to speak of, to be honest. * 1/4.

We see Paige backstage, before getting a vignette for here. Wow, to think this was only three years ago. How things have changed. She talks about being the opposite of the prototypical Diva, and what it means to be champion. I would make a joke about the Women’s Title Belt, but I’d like to think this blog is a little more dignified. We then see Ric Flair and Charlotte taking in the show from ringside, when out comes Stephanie McMahon. If a woman in WWE makes history and Stephanie McMahon isn’t there to attach herself to it, did it ever really happen? The fans chant “you still got it,” presumably towards her figure, and she proclaims she never lost it. Gag. She talks about how they’re making history by being part of the first live program on the WWE Network, and does the spiel of how she’s proud of the women’s division for showing women can do what men can do, but better. I’m all for feminism and everything, but I think it would be a little more meaningful if we got to hear Paige or Emma say this kind of thing. Oh, well. She introduces the two competitors as the next generation of WWE Divas, and Emma comes out to her awful, awful theme. She got this opportunity in a “dance battle,” which kind of reflects poorly on how the women are being regarded. William Regal is seen dancing to her music, and they mention she’s beaten two former Divas since becoming #1 Contender. To think she’d be released just 5 months later for stealing an IPad case. I mean, they brought her back, but she’s really done a whole lot of nothing the last three years. Out next is the champion, Paige. Stephanie shakes the hands of both competitors, as this match gets underway:

PAIGE DEF. EMMA BY SUBMISSION VIA SCORPION CROSSLOCK TO RETAIN THE NXT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP:

OK Women’s match that at least had the crowd’s attention the whole time. I personally found this to be largely dull, with Emma dominating a good portion of the match. There were some cool moments, such as Emma hitting a Powerbomb on Paige, or Paige breaking out the Scorpion Crosslock for the win, but it falls below most NXT Women’s Title match standards, and probably some of AJ Lee’s title matches on the main roster, as well. **.

Post-match, the two briefly hug it out, as Paige celebrates her successful title defense. We cut backstage to Adrian Neville preparing for the main event, a ladder match for the NXT Championship held by Bo Dallas. What a time that was. We get a video package around Neville, and I really have to commend them for going out of their way to introduce newer viewers to the stars of NXT, a must with the launch of the WWE Network. It’s no wonder NXT caught on the way it did after it was given a platform like this.

After a commercial for the NXT TV show, the camera cuts to Pat Patterson and Dusty Rhodes watching in the crowd. The “Somebody Call My Momma” music plays, as Xavier Woods comes out. That used to be his theme?! Out next is Tyler Breeze, as I guess we’re getting a cooldown match before the main event:

TYLER BREEZE VS. XAVIER WOODS WENT TO A NO CONTEST WHEN ALEXANDER RUSEV INTERFERED:

Well, so much for that. Rusev comes out, beats the shit out of both guys, and puts Woods in the Accolade, as Lana puts Rusev over. Her accent definitely improved over time. Rusev then gets on the mic and cuts a promo in Bulgarian and poses as his music hits.

We then see Bo Dallas backstage preparing for the main event. They play a video package for Dallas, and, say what you will about him, the man has a great sense of humor. I’ve even enjoyed seeing him as part of the Miztourage. Cut back to the audience as we see Larry Zbyszko and Steve Keirn watching from ringside. The star power’s sort of hitting a point of diminishing returns right now. We then get a video package for how the ladder match came to be, before cutting back to the ring, lights dimmed and ladders all over the place. Out comes Shawn Michaels, NXT Title belt in hand, as he heads to the ring. Michaels cuts a promo saying he’s proud to be here tonight, as the fans chant stuff like “one more match” and “H-B-Shizzle.” I don’t even know. Michaels finally has to ask them to stop, as he talks about his history with ladder matches, as he plugs his Mr. Wrestlemania DVD and talks about how he has to put his kids through college. Michaels finally gets serious, as he puts over both men in the main event, and says only one of them will walk out with the title and step into greatness. Adrian Neville’s music hits, and out comes the challenger to a nice ovation. Out next is Bo Dallas, as we get formal introductions. As the title is raised both men stare each other down, as our main event is underway:

ADRIAN NEVILLE DEF. BO DALLAS IN A LADDER MATCH TO WIN THE NXT CHAMPIONSHIP:

Very fun, well-paced work between these two. I’ve never seen Bo work quite the way he did in this match, as he did everything he could to wear Neville down and stop him from getting to the title above the ring. This match didn’t really have a whole lot that you’ve never seen in a Ladder Match before, but it served as an entertaining, satisfying main event match. *** 1/2.

Post-match, Neville celebrates atop the ladder with the title, as steam comes down from the ceiling. He continues to celebrate, as John Cena is shown in the crowd, giving Neville a standing ovation. Arrival goes off the air, as the announcers tell us this is a new beginning for NXT.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

I’m really not sure how to precisely describe this show. As someone who’s seen most of the Takeover specials over the last few years, this felt a bit different from how those feel. The pacing wasn’t all there. Not every match felt like it was one of consequence. Obviously, the talent pool shifted to one that featured more experienced wrestlers from across the world. As a first taste of NXT, however, this wasn’t all that bad. Both the opener and main event delivered in their own ways, and I would actually recommend going out of your way to watch the opener, by all means. Everything else in between ranges from passable to skippable. Overall, I’d give it a mild recommendation, with a strong suggestion to watch the opener, main event, and perhaps the Women’s match as well. Everything else is better off being passed over.

Well, that’s the first installment of what I hope will be a very rewarding series. In addition to reviewing more NXT specials, I’m also looking at a few other ideas for posts, so I’ll probably put something up within the next week or so detailing exactly what I intend to review over the next few months. Until then, stay tuned for more updates, and enjoy.

#nxt #wwe #2014

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