#even the politics gameplay becomes irrelevant

[s0ym1lk]

I finished Disco Elysium last night and have come to the conclusion that it is, ironically, about learning how to honor history while also letting it go.

Disco Elysium is set in a world drowning in history. You spend the whole time walking through a bombed-out city, exploring walls where people were lined up and shot, bunkers filled with propaganda, and monuments that were put up and torn down and put up again. The layers upon layers of history that you dig through in every encounter just overwhelms you.

Harry Du Bois is likewise drowning in his own personal history. When you start the game, you literally wake up in the 'ruins' of Harry's own personal country - the room he'd wrecked on his multi-day bender prior to starting the game. He clings to an outdated music style and an outdated celebrity that he models himself after. He worships his ex so much that his brain turns her into a god.

It's no surprise that the most joyful parts of the game are ones in which history is erased or made irrelevant. Harry's relationship with Kim, for example, has no history to it at all. While Kim knows that Harry is a self-destructive asshole, based on the aftermath of Harry's bender that he's able to witness, Kim also begins his relationship with Harry from a point where he's fundamentally a different person, who can and does make different choices than old Harry would havea. Every time Harry's past comes up, Kim is able to relate to him in a different and more positive way, simply because the old Harry and the new Harry are different people. Contrast this with Harry's interactions with his old partner Jean. Those interactions are really depressing, because they're so one-sided - Jean is left to shoulder all of the pain Harry caused to him, but when he tries to lash out, Harry doesn't understand. For example, when Jean tries to pull a mean prank by dressing up as the reporter Harry drove away, the joke goes completely over Harry's head, because Harry doesn't remember his past OR his old partner. Jean is stuck in a cycle of trauma and abuse that he's trying to perpetuate with his actions. Harry literally can't remember enough about himself to be a part of that anymore. That's why his relationship with Kim works so well in comparison - he can leave his past behind and become a better person who has healthier relationships.

Another place you see this quite well is in the storyline for the dance club at the church. The church itself reeks of history, and not in a good way. It's abandoned, worn-out, broken, and it has a giant stained-glass window of a woman who blanketed Elysium in terrible history and destroyed it, then convinced everyone that she was a saint. The history in that stained glass literally towers over you and forces you to cower beneath it. When you help the teens turn the church into a dance club, you disrupt all that. The power and sanctity of the church's history doesn't totally disappear, because the church is still there, but it fades into the background as it's overtaken by a new history. That new history extends to everyone present. It covers the teens, all of whom are either running from a bad past or leaving the people they were behind(you'll notice Disco Elysium has a lot of characters who have become different people than they used to be). It covers Harry, who has struggled to let go of the cool person he was in the days of disco, but ends up not just writing the new anodic music but busting a move to it. It covers Soona the programmer, who's trying to essentially come to terms with her history at Fortress Accident and move on from it. It's a really powerful image, to find the seed of the world's destruction in the church and to be concerned about that, but to then turn it into a bass track and dance to it joyfully anyway. Sure, the end of the world is coming. That kind of sucks. But in this joyful moment, who cares?

Look at Harry's former relationship with Dora. You spend all this time being triggered by things related to her, like chewing gum, the Dolores Dei references, and near the very end of the game finally have a dream where she turns into a god and leaves you. Harry is obviously an obsessive person. He obsesses about Dora and turns her into something larger than life, even though she tells him frankly that she's just a regular woman. Harry tries to cling to that history by getting her back. He gives her figurines that he remembered she would like. He tells her he's a better person and that they can make it work. He can try to kiss her. He can beg her not to go. She leaves anyway. Despite Harry's desperation, you can tell as the player that this is an unhealthy relationship, and that it's good that Dora left him. You can also see how her leaving triggered Harry's descent into brokenness, and how he never truly recovered from it because he couldn't let go. I don't think it's a coincidence that Harry only manages to face this history after he loses his memory. Some of that past had to be scraped away before he could face the truth and overcome it.

Finally, the reveal of the killer absolutely drives this point home. The whole game follows the traditional detective novel arc, where every detail is a Chekhov's gun leading to one big conclusion. The footprints, the eighth Hardie boy, the drugs, the smoker on the balcony, all of it. And the kicker is that it does all come together - but not in the way you want it to. Because most of the clues are smoke and mirrors. The killer is a sad old man you've never met before hiding on an island, clinging to (you guessed it!) the past. He's drowning in history and can't let go of it. If he feels totally irrelevant to the rest of the game, that's because he is. He doesn't matter! The world let go and moved on without him. The game strongly implies that it was this moving on, and not the old man's politics, that cause him to commit the murder. When he pulled the trigger, he wasn't really thinking about moralintern supremacy or being loyal to the communist revolution. He simply couldn't watch two people steeped in history choose to let it go and find happiness together in moving on. So he killed the merc in a fit of jealousy. Everything else you track down in the game is just people trying to mitigate the consequences of that murder by protecting each other.

History is important, and paying attention to it is how we learn from our mistakes. But what Disco Elysium doesn't want people to do is to get so obsessed with the past that we get stuck in it. You can't live in a bombed-out city or a trashed hotel room forever. You have to let it go.

You may ask, what about the pale, and the end of the world? To me, the game is literally manifesting existential dread as a parallel to the player's own understanding of our world and our limited existence. We know the world will end at some point. Elysium knows it literally - it's being slowly swallowed up bit by bit. We as the players know it metaphorically. We know that we get 100 years, give or take, to live. We know that the planet is slowly being destroyed. In a way, that's our history too. And so the game says to you, it doesn't matter. You should care, but don't get so caught up in caring that you forget to live. Ultimately it doesn't really matter that the world is ending. What matters is something smaller and more personal - that you care about the people around you, that you try to help where you can, and that you dance to anodic dance music while you have the chance.

#disco elysium #disco elysium spoilers #i don't know if people will agree with my conclusions but #if you do #it becomes very funny that so much of the game is then made totally irrelevant #i played SmartCop so my playthrough was all fact dumping about the world #even the politics gameplay becomes irrelevant #which i think fits the conclusion because the politics stuff is so satirical #to me it reads more as a criticism of people who care about that stuff than as a real analysis of it #the game essentially says 'every single one of these political philosophies hurt people #'isn't it time to let them go and start caring about something else?' #okay i could go forever but i'm done

[hopeymchope]

Parascientific Escape: The sci-fi “escape room” visual novel-style series nobody talks about

I can’t help thinking that Parascientific Escape would probably have an active fandom somewhere on the Internet if it wasn’t TRAPPED ON THE 3DS ESHOP.

I mean, it’s an escape room-centric visual novel-style sci-fi Japanese game that is clearly inspired by Zero Escape and very anime in its style. There are endearing characters, including optimal waifus/husbandos, plus a gradual buildup of an interesting fictional world full of political intrigue, its own countries, its own companies, and of course... psychic powers. Because you can’t have a trilogy of Japanese visual novel-style games featuring escape room puzzles without mental powers, now can you?

But as I said... they’re trapped as download-only titles for the 3DS. That’s fucking brutal. 

Even so, there’s a pretty big 3DS/2DS user base still in existence. It’s not like they’ve never been translated or something, so at least we have the capability to play them. So if you look into them, what are you getting?

A basic overview: Parascientific Escape is a trilogy of anime-style games about solving escape room mysteries and tracking down evildoers via the use of psychic powers (obvious Zero Escape influences). There’s an overarching plot about a mysterious mastermind who believes it’s time for the recently emerged psychics of the world to take their place as the next evolution of humanity and get their own nation (obvious X-Men influences).

They don’t work very well as standalone stories; each story relies on information from the last one, culminating in a game that stars the protagonists of both parts 1 and 2 together as they finally unravel the motivations behind the events of the whole series and face off with the people behind everything. In addition, the escape room puzzles start out pretty easy in the first game build to be pretty frustratingly obtuse by the tail end of the third. And on top of all that, each game taken on its own only contains about 3-4 escape rooms. So when you bundle all three together, that’s when it all works as a single satisfying package. 

Don’t worry about burning a lot of cash to play the whole series, however. The three games are $5.00 US each on the 3DS eShop and are usually on sale for $2.50 each these days. I got the entire trilogy for $7.50 US!

So let’s break down the gameplay and setup in a little more detail. Don’t worry; I won’t give any spoilers that go beyond the first five minutes of any game in the series. The twists and turns are part of the fun here.

The first game is Parascientific Escape: Cruise in the Distant Seas. You play as  Hitomi Akeneno, a high school girl (because of course she’s a high-schooler) with the dual abilities of mild telekinesis and a type of clairvoyance that lets her peer past barriers or into the insides of objects. She finds herself trapped on a sinking cruise ship where some mastermind keeps systematically locking her into isolated sections while she’s trying desperately to escape. 

I really liked how you could look inside of an object with clairvoyance and then use her telekinesis to manipulate the various switches and levers within, gradually pulling some object you need out from within a maze. I also thought it was clever how the solution to a new escape roomight require you to backtrack to a previous escape room to investigate some object or area that wasn’t relevant to that previous room’s original puzzle. 

(One of the things I found most fascinating about this one is the ethical debate raised by Hitomi’s friend Chisono regarding how Hitomi got herself involved in all this. Chisono offers a perspective that is extremely unusual to see in most fiction. You can even say it’s pretty cold, but it’s not without having some merit to it. I don’t want to say too much about what I’m talking about, though; it’s better left as a surprise.)

The second title, Parascientific Escape: Gear Detective, almost seems standalone at first. You play as Kyosuke Ayana, a private detective and actual adult (!) who is 22 years old. A young woman shows up at his office and asks to hire him for protection. See, there’s a serial killer on the loose, and she believes she’s the next target.

We are swiftly told that Kyosuke was once in an accident that necessitated the replacement of his left arm and right eye. He volunteered to be a guinea pig for some very special prosthetics that granted him artificial psychic powers. As such, he now has “chronokinesis” — to the power to look back in time. However, he can only look back for five days, and he only has limited ability to move or manipulate the things he sees in the past. 

Naturally, Kyosuke’s investigation winds up trapping him within some escape rooms that require use of his unique abilities to solve. Some of the hints at the proper timestamps or exactly where you should be looking when you peer into the past are a little vague, though, which can cause momentary frustration. Because I like to always be making forward progress, I actually preferred Hitomi’s telekinesis/clairvoyance powers from the first game. Still, Hitomi had some pretty basic puzzles in her rooms. I can’t deny that these puzzles took more thought.

Outside of the escape rooms,  everything is undeniably a huge improvement. The first game presented strictly linear segments of storytelling between the rooms, but this one is more of an adventure game. You can choose where you go, select from a limited menu of things to do when you get there, and do all of it in any order you like. There’s usually a correct sequence order to progressing the story, but it’s typically pretty clear what the next step is, so it’s not like you’re just flailing about and trying a bunch of locations blindly. Besides, there’s no way to get stuck, so don’t stress it. There are even a lot of actions you can take that have no impact on story progression at all — they’re just there to generate additional dialogue that further develops the characters. 

The tradeoff is that you actually get fewer escape rooms overall. The first game had four, but the second only contains three. This is also the first game in the series to introduce multiple endings; you get a number of dialogue choices throughout, and unfortunately, it’s far too easy to trigger the “bad” ending. There are guides online to help you trigger the Gold Star “true” ending, however. Just hit up GameFAQs. You might want to use the guide on your first playthrough, because I can say from experience that it’s annoying to have to replay all the dialogue sections just to make the correct choices. (Luckily, you can skip over any irrelevant sections of each chapter — including the escape room puzzles.) 

In spite of my above whining, the second one is probably my single favorite story in the Parascientific trilogy. It’s a lot of fun.

The final game in the trilogy is Parascientific Escape: Crossing at the Farthest Horizon. Mysterious characters who were plotting offscreen for the previous two games are finally given faces, locations that were talked about extensively in both are finally visited, and the two protagonists of the first couple games finally meet and team up. It’s absolutely a culmination of what they set up in the first two.

The narrative jumps around from the perspectives of many different characters, but the most time is undoubtedly spent with Hitomi and Kyosuke. Sadly, there is no gameplay usage of Hitomi’s powers this time; the escape rooms are all done with Kyosuke, and they are more devious now than ever before. Personally, I found the next-to-last one to be incredibly obtuse and frustrating. I ultimately had to consult a video playthrough on YouTube for that. (The YouTuber in question didn’t seem to have the same issues figuring things out that I did. So I guess your mileage may vary.)

The “adventure game” segments make a return here as well, although they’ve also become a bit tougher to figure out. There are a couple of times when you might find yourself wandering the various location options, clicking on every possible action to try and progress. Luckily, there aren’t so many default options that you’re left flailing for very long. Even the longest period of clueless wandering lasted me a maximum of 15 minutes.

Once again, you have to make the correct dialogue choices if you want a positive ending. And once again, GameFAQs is your friend and co-pilot.

Ultimately, even the gated endings and occasional puzzle frustrations did little to curb my enthusiasm. I really had fun with these characters and their stories, I greatly enjoyed the majority of the escape rooms, and I was pretty satisfied with how it all wrapped up. The character designs/artwork get better and better as the series goes on. The selection of music tracks may be the same throughout the whole series, but I really dug on them, so I can’t complain. Do I have any other misgivings? Well, just one; the English localization is pretty sloppy. There are a pretty large number of typos, and the dialogue can sound stilted and awkward at times due to being a direct translation. It’s actually at its worst at the start of the first game. Luckily, after about 30 minutes of playtime, it settles in and finds its voice.

Seriously, they should really figure out a way to re-package these games for another system that doesn’t use the the dual-screen setup. Put all three of them together, and it’d easily be satisfying as a full retail release!

But for now, if you have a 3DS/2DS, they’re only $7.50 in total most of the time (and $15.00 at the worst). Do you like adventure game-style mysteries and visual novel-esque progression and, of course, escape rooms? You should give these a shot! And I hope these devs get to make games with bigger budgets and better localizations in the future.

#parascientific escape #parascientific escape: gear detective #parascientific escape: cruise in the distant seas #parascientific escape: crossing at the farthest horizon #3ds #2ds #3ds games #2ds games #video games #visual novels #Kyosuke Ayana #hitomi akeneno #escape room games

[ijustwannaasksomething]

Rambling: Relationship Dynamics I want to write/read about

because they make me happy

I have just finished watching Alien Platypus' amazing 4 1/2 hour video on Assassin’s Creed Origins. Through the video I did not only save myself the heartbreak of an unsatisfactory story but I also found two dynamics I was intrigued about and I want to talk to you about them.

I’d love the hear your opinions on them and what couples you think they’d suit. Any fandom is fine because I can just binge the source material like the deprived soul I am.

Spoilers for the video and the game obviously.

So phew, I’m intrigued. Alien Platypus’ criticism of worldbuilding, gameplay, story and so much more is valid and after that beast of a video I feel like I have played and understood this game myself. I can't even begin to summarise how brilliant this video is, just go watch it as I ramble about relationships.

As you may know, I’m not only a sucker for slow burn fics but I also love me some good old enemies to lovers or soulmates. When they introduced the characters of Bayek and Aya I was like ooooooooooooh. I think it's rare in games to portray married couples in a way where both people are important, mostly it's just: oh and they're married to [name]. And that's it. The spouse is more irrelevant than a random NPC.

So the game introduces two relationships tropes (?) I love and I when I learned how dirty they had done Bayek and especially Aya (because the world isn't ready for female leads?) and their arc I was like: fine I’ll do it myself and rewrite it

but then

I had another thought (these days it's rare I have more than one coherent thought haha)

The dynamic I want to talk about is the one of established relationships, especially between married couples/long term couples.

In the game, Bayek and Aya are introduced as married and then the plot separates them for a while; they reunite after some time (years?) and Aya literally jumps her husband (I was surprised AC openly showed they have sex).

The concept of separation of couples intrigues me, so let’s explore the two ideas I have about the separation trope:

Physical separation. Like Aya and Bayek, as people involved in political schemes and conflict they get separated by distance a lot of times, yet they always gravitate back towards each other. In a time where there is no digital communication and news travel slow, I love this idea that your partner is somewhere doing something and you just know they are there for you the minute you see each other again. Sigh

Romantic separation. Bayek and Aya do break up at the end of the game as they realise they’re not compatible any longer. However they are reunited in the DLC and have much better chemistry there as they have grown as characters during their separation (and the DLC team had other writers). So here we have: love - split - love even harder.

Soooo yeah. The separation dynamic is one I might use in one of my fics which are ongoing or planned in the near future because I just like it so much.

Still I feel like creating a work based on it alone too, as I just really like the love and trust that two people have for another. Also they can't without each other. hhhhhhhhng.

I have thought of some scenarios which aren’t planned for a specific couple so feel free to let me know who do you see in it (regardless of fandom).

One would be Lovers to Enemies to Lovers:

I lean heavily on AC on this, while writing this I thought a lot about Altair and Malik as they're my oldest OTP I think? Basically you grow up together or you're lovers, one of you betrays you because they were mislead and cause their loved one harm. Years later you reunite and it's hard but the love it still there, at least from your side and it's so bittersweet to see the pain you have caused but you also see the amazing person they've become because they've always been so much better than you. (editing this post I remember there is this amazing fanfic which is a painful slow burn and Malik is a woman. I always forget the name and i reread it each year after googling like hell, so if I find it in my ff.net bookmarks I'll add the link)

The other one would be Lovers to Strangers to Lovers:

Obviously: you're lovers and you drift apart and then you meet again. I imagined this in several different scenarios, mostly a setting like Halo. Imagine you're some tiny nobody in a bar and hook up with someone and then you go your seperate ways. Then you get stationed on the Infinity and oops the woman you hooked up with some time ago is Commander Palmer (she's the best, I love her, pls let me be her wife). Maybe she treats you quite cold like she treats everyone and you're super overwhelmed by your crush because you want to be professional but you're also head over heels. sigh. I also thought about this in kindof and A/B/O setting after I read that amazing Halo fic (which disappeared) which compared the spartans to wolves because it plays a bit into the soulmates AU; you're super into that person who seems to hate you but you have history which is tought look past but then oh they love you too yay. It would be lighthearted and sweet, mostly poking fun at hoplessly in love spartan baby pining for Palmer. Mostly like this trope for the phrase: You have history.

Just Lovers to Lovers to Lovers:

How Aya greets her man in the beginning of the game, like imagine you're both elbow deep in a revolutions and work at the other side of the country and you see each other and it's just so good. Imagine even better you go into the camp and are like: yeah i need to talk to [name] and they're like: yeah they're over there but beware of super badass bitch and you're just like: Sir, that's my wife.

Which brings me to:

Deception but in a good way?

I though it might fit Vi and Cait in an Arcane setting, maybe Cait is leading the Piltover-internal revolution to give Zaun more rights or something like that so she travels to Zaun to talk to the leader of the uprising there, nicknamed the Enforcer ™ and of course she's super lost so Vi swipes her up from the streets and agrees to bring her to the Enforcer ™. And on their way they hear so much about this badass figure and Cait is like: wow such a badass and Vi is like: very wow much badass. And then they arrive and Vi reveals she's the Enforcer ™ *gasp*

Maybe a bit like Vi and Ekko tricked Cait when he kidnapped them or something.

I would also think this funny in the Lovers/Enemies/Lovers dynamic; you have to build your crew or whatever and your friends are like: we should get this mysterious badass person on board but they're shrouded in secrets and hard to talk to so you need to be persuasive and then you go find them and you're like: shit that's my ex and I still have feelings haha send help

I might write about Bayek and Aya, but first I'll have to dip into the Origins fandom and see... Badass Aya and her Support husband Bayek could be cool, use her original arc and frame her as Amunet and the founder of the creed/brotherhood. hmmm.

I hope my ramblings were halfway coherent and you enjoyed this. If you like any of these ideas, go and use them. Write. Send me the result so I don't have to write it.

Take care <3

#fanfiction #writing #relationships #tropes #ramblings #inspiration #assassin's creed #halo #league of legends #arcane #origins #bayek of siwa #aya #amunet #vi #caitlyn #commander palmer #malik #altair

[louiserandom]

Play Games with Me

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara | Rating: E

A/N: Commission for the amazing @rookie-d​💙💗 thank you so much! *hugs* 

Read on AO3 or continue under the cut :3 Ko-fi and fic commission info in the header!

Tobirama SenJERK has never had sex in his life, Madara types, as always brimming with spite when it comes to his least favorite person in town. Maybe on the planet.

Rereading the comment and satisfied that there aren’t any typos or any hint whatsoever at some kind of hidden affection (which isn’t there, never was and never will be, Madara reminds himself firmly), he hits ‘Comment.’

“Take that, you dumbass,” Madara mutters under his breath, and really, this could be classified as childish, were he not completely in the right to take vicious revenge upon the fucking asshole who dared refer to Madara as ‘so idiotic it’s pitifully adorable’ on his last stream. Hah! Like Tobirama isn’t the less intelligent one of the two of them; Madara has watched enough of his Uncharted 4 gameplay to note that Tobirama took twelve seconds longer than him to figure out arguably the most difficult puzzle in the game. And although Madara’s sub count doesn’t quite reflect his superior intellect compared to Senju’sーnot that he’s checked in a whileーit’s likely a testament to the viewers’ total lack of taste, if anything else.

(Two thousand, nine hundred and thirty four viewer’s, to be precise, according to this morning’s stats and minus the handful of Madara’s fake accounts that he created just in case to keep up with his chief competitor. Admittedly, it might be a tad annoying.)

A notification pipes up.

Hm, I wonder how you’d know that, MaddyGamerboy? Are you stalking me? I must admit, I’m flattered.

Madara sputters at the reply. At yet another butchering of his perfectly adequate nickname. The fucking nerve of the guyーand people fucking wonder why Madara hates his guts?

(Madara knows it doesn’t really help his case that he’s touched himself to fantasies of the younger Senju more times than he’d care to count, but hate-fucking a thing isn’t it? Hate-masturbation must be too, he supposes. Not the healthiest outlet for negative feelings, but it makes him feel good enough.)

(Heavenly, to be precise.)

I AM NOT, YOU SELF-OBSESSED DUMBASS, Madara types, simultaneously taking care of the half-a-dozen typos that appear of their own accord.

No.

Deep breath. Stop fingers from shaking. Think about something witty to say.

Pff, he writes, for lack of any better word to express his indignant huff, like I give a shit about you. You’re dumb.

It did sound much better in his head, but Madara has spent over a minute writing the comment already, and he doesn’t want to appear as if he’s thinking too hard on it.

He posts his answer, not dwelling too match on the number of likes on Tobirama’s comment far outnumbering the hundred Madara’s garnered. Again, Tobirama’s audience is clearly not the best judge of character.

“FUCK. YOU. SIDEWAYS, SENJU!” Madara shouts at the reply that follows, consisting only of the words:

Thanks for the sub btw.

“You fucking piece of shit,” Madara hisses. “Like eight fucking fake accounts do anything to boost your stats, I don’t even like all your videos from each one of them, you ass!”

I DID NOT SUB DONT BELIEVE HIM

I’m happy to have another loyal fan ;)

HE IS FUCKING LYEING!!!

With seemingly every single person in the comments raving about how it’s about time MadGamer69 and admitted he admires FlyingThunderGod’s skill, Madara has to consciously restrain himself from smashing his laptop against the wall.

“You can just tell him you like him, you know.”

Madara startles, almost stumbling to the floor when Hashirama returns with their drinks and quickly put-together snacks, always the one to rummage through Madara’s kitchen because Madara hardly cares what edible and inedible things existed there or what to do with themーthat’s Izuna’s job.

“I do not,” Madara snarls, as Hashirama flops next to him on the couch, “like that stupid clusterfuck you call a brother!”

“Madara!” Hashirama whines, with that ever-present pout on his face. “Be civil.”

“Yeah, when he returns the favor,” Madara glowers, grabbing a milkshake from Hashirama’s hand. “Did you forget that he fucking started it? Do I need to quote his “pitifully adorable how so much stupidity can fit in such a short man” again?” Madara can’t help flailing his arms a little, though far too conscious of this habit now since the Tobirama has started pointing it out. He makes up for it with what he hopes is a deadly enough glare. “Did no one in your family bother to teach him manners? Did you?”

Hashirama only sighs. “And did you forget,” he asks, “how before that you abused my invitation over to our place to hide his Golden Youtube Gamer Tablet?”

Madara groans. “It’s called a Gold Play Button. Idiot.”

“Now you’re insulting me,” Hashirama grumbles, “and who cares? The point is, you’d be upset too if he hid yours.”

“Youtubers care,” Madara says, “and also, that’s irrelevant, that was revenge for him making fun of my perfectly adequate gameplay.”

“To be fair, you were dying quite a lot in that playthrough...”

“He took twelve seconds longer to figure out that puzzle in the game!” Madara growls.

Hashirama rolls his eyes. “Well, of course, because that Yellow Flash guy was flirting and distracting him in the chat.”

Madara blanches. "That good-for-nothing pipsqueak was what?”

“See,” Hashirama drawls, “you are jealous. Why would you be jealous?”

“I-I’m not!”

“Madara, you are so far in denial, that as your best friend,” Hashirama says firmly, slapping a hand over Madara’s mouth before he can muster another protest, “I cannot stand by and watch you suffer. Anymore, that is, because this has reached a breaking point. So, please, for me, I am begging you, just try politely asking if maybe Tobirama would like to accompany you for coffee somewhere tomorrow? Maybe brunch? I mean, come on, I know you guys don’t hate each other anymore. Seriously, you guys seem like you enjoy arguments, and hey, who am I to judge how people express affection?”

“Affection?!” Madara shrieks, shoving Hashirama’s hand away.

“And please stop pretending you don’t have printed out screenshots of my brother’s videos hidden under your mattress because Izunaー”

“Is a fucking snooping rat!” Madara hisses.

Hashirama sighs. “If it helps you feel better, maybe Tobirama might possibly not feel extreme dislike towards you but actually the opposite,” he says, smiling nervously as Madara blanches.

Because... what?

He blinks, running Hashirama’s words through his mind again.

“And how would you know that?” he asks, suspicious. “I swear if you dared tell him anything about my possibly nonexistent feelingsー”

“Possibly?” Excitement starts bubbling in Hashirama’s eyes. “That’s progress!”

“Definitely nonexistent feelings, dammit!”

Hashirama, the asshole Madara calls best friend for some reason, giggles. “Don’t worry, I didn’t. I promise, stop glaring or I will start pouting,” he threatens, and Madara schools his expression back into a light scowl to avoid the infamous Senju pout.

Like a curse, memories of said pout curling Tobirama’s lips spring to mind, and Madara has to physically shake his head to banish those thoughts.

“Listen, the fact that we’re not as... aggressive as we used to be,” Madara says, “doesn’t mean we suddenly like each other.”

“Madara, you insist on coming along every time we hang out,” Hashirama points out.

“I like hanging out with you.”

“Yet every time we do,” Hashirama presses on, “you’re hyperfocused on bickering with Tobirama instead of talking about wholesome stuff with me. Did you even notice that I brought Mito with me the past few times and it was literally a double date?”

“Was not!” Madara shoves at Hashirama with his shoulder and stands up to pace, because there goes the tell-tale sweating of his hands, the fluttering in his chest and stomach and the memoriesーof him and Tobirama secretly filming the other on camera when they do stupid shit, their almost daily Best Playground Insult Contest that’s been memed half to death on Twitter, the one time they got separated from Hashirama and Izuna in Disneyland because they’d got caught in their arguments so much it devolved into discussing their favorite games and an actual conversation that had Madara’s insides tingling.

No.

No, no, no. If anything, they were just gradually becoming something not unlike friends. And Madara’s occasional fantasies behind closed doors were nothing but a means to a pleasant end.

Not. Feelings.

No matter how much he’s grown attached to the site of messy, white-gray hair that he knows is soft to the touch from all the times he’s tugged on it to irritate him. No matter how piercing Tobirama’s unique red eyes may look. No matter how objectively hot his recent workout routine video wasーand Madara knows he’d only watched it so many times because he wants to improve his own routine, right?

Right?

Madara groans. “Why are emotions so fucking confusing!” He slumps onto the floor and wraps his arms around his knees, hitting his head over and over again on his kneecaps because, “I don’t even know what I want from him, okay?”

There’s a brief silence before Hashirama joins him and keeps him from abusing his head further. “How about,” Hashirama suggests, rubbing a comforting hand on his back, “you just ask? Listen, he’s my brother. And you’re my best friend. You two fighting less and at least making an effort to get to know each other better?” Hashirama brings out the puppy dog eyes. “That would mean the world for me.”

Madara glances at him before looking away again, focusing on a random photo of the wall. One featuring Tobirama right after his university graduation with a wide smile on his face. Quite the adorable face, too, and the unprompted thought makes Madara want to descend into oblivion. Preferably forever.

“That’s difficult,” he says lamely.

“But not impossible,” Hashirama says, “and hey, it’s better than waiting for the Yellow Flash guy to actually make a move on Tobi and start occupying all of his time. He’s a really big fan.”

“Fuck Minato,” Madara scoffs, “the guy just showed up and is just shamelessly emulating Tobirama’s style. That’s dumb.”

“Dumber than you claim Tobi is?” Hashirama prompts.

Madara thinks about it. “You know what? Yes.”

“As I saidーprogress!”

Madara can never go through with his impulses to punch his well-meaning best friend, and so grabs the nearest pillow from the couch and smashes it into Hashirama’s face to shut him up.

Tobirama returns home only to find Hashirama and Madara standing by the front door, frowning as they watched something that sounded like a tsunami of some kind.

“Listen, it’s gotta be one of those black holes or something twisting that vortex. Look how stuff disappears right into it!” is his brother talking, and Tobirama is already heaving a frustrated sigh.

Please don’t tell me you think there’s a black hole on Earth.

“There’s no black holes on Earth, idiot! The nearest one is way off, like near Pluto or something,” Madara says.

Ah. Even better. Tobirama chuckles under his breath, crosses his arms and leans against the wall, observing the two idiots he knows and loves.

He mentally kicks himself.

Well, one of them, he loves. Of course he loves his brother.

The other is... complicated.

“And besides, that could just be the Loch Ness monster or a cthulhu or something. See how dark the water is?”

“Or maybe,” Tobirama says, making them both jump, “it’s a natural phenomenon that’s a tad too difficult for both your brain cells to comprehend? I’m happy to explain though.”

“I’m happy to see you fuck yourself,” Madara greets him his usual way, scowling despite the exceptionally conspicuous blush painting his cheeks.

The contrast never fails to make Tobirama’s heart beat faster. He hates himself for it.

“Mm, Madara,” Tobirama teases, “not in front of my brother.”

As expected, Madara starts spluttering, and Tobirama is left wondering again how he avoids making a total fool of himself in each and every one of his videos. It seems Madara saves most of his flailing for the comment section.

“You,” Madara snarls, pointing Tobirama’s way, “are an asshole, Senju, but spending time with the better part of society might do you some good. So see you at brunch tomorrow and do not be late.”

And with that, Madara gives Hashirama a cursory wave and stalks off, leaving Tobirama frozen on the spot.

Did Madara just?..

Tobirama blinks, swallowing heavily as he feels his throat running dry and his heart rate pick up.

No fucking way.

He must have imagined it. Through his stupor of trying to figure out what the hell just took place, Tobirama vaguely registers Hashirama’s facepalm.

“Sorry for that,” Tobirama hears his brother speak through the rush in his ears. “He meant, uh, will you please join him for brunch? Tomorrow at 11 am, Eggspectation?”

Tobirama blinks harder.

“I,” he starts, “I don’t... Did you blackmail Madara into asking me out?”

Hashirama looks scandalized. “What? No!”

“Did Madara just ask me out?”

“Well, yes, Tobi.” Hashirama chuckles nervously. “You sure you’re feeling okay?”

Tobirama glares. “The idiot’s wake up text to me today was literally a collection of trashy limerick poems about how much I suck. Sorry if I’m a little skeptical.”

“You,” Hashirama says, wincing as a long-suffering expression settles on his face, “you guys send wake up texts to each other?”

A moment of awkward silence hangs in the air.

“Sometimes,” Tobirama says, defensive, although the damage is already done.

“And you’re still not going out? Tobirama, you do realize he’s in love with you, right?”

“Don’t say things like that, Anija!” Tobirama snaps, hoping the dim lighting in the corridor conceals the blush he can feel heating up his cheeks. Fuck. Now he’s turning Madara. “Yet, I mean.”

“I’ll save the celebrations until after your date then!” Hashirama sing-songs like the idiot he is.

Tobirama resigns to his fate. “I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You’ll thank me for this.”

“If it goes well,” Tobirama glowers though it’s ineffective, really, against his brother’s bubbling positivity, and the sheer awe still coursing through him from Madara asking him out on a fucking date is actually enough to make Tobirama want to hug him. He refrains. "Now, thanks, Anija, but I have work things to attend to.”

“Sure! Just don’t forget, 11ー”

“Eleven eggs and uh, no expectations, got it.”

“Wait, Tobi, noー”

With no time to waste, naturally, Tobirama bolts into their apartment and straight to his room to choose an appropriate outfit. And to mentally prepare himself for something he’s almost given up hoping for.

Tobirama cannotーwill notーmess this up.

Tobirama makes sure to arrive about ten minutes early. Not because he’s worried or nervous, of course; maybe just a little, but mostly just to get his bearings beforeーfinallyーa date with Madara goddamn Uchiha.

Madara, who’s been Tobirama’s stupid crush since high school, and just as in love with gaming as he is, only that didn’t turn out to be such a great bonding point between them, as Tobirama had hopedーbefore he actually got to know his Anija’s best friend.

Madara, who seemed to dislike Tobirama at first sight and only grew to hate him more over the years as they both found more joy in arguing than they did in talking.

Madara, who, despite this, blushes every rare time Tobirama genuinely smiles at him or drops a suggestive joke, who has an arguably unhealthy obsession with Tobirama’s ass which he always ogles when he thinks no one is looking.

Madara, whose plastered ass Tobirama had to drag home the other week, amid drunken speeches about capitalist injustice, some wacky conspiracy behind the disappearance of the dodo bird and... something quite interesting.

 “Listen, Senju,” Madara was slurring against Tobirama’s shoulder, as the latter cursed every single nonexistent god that Hashirama had chosen that fucking day to go on a road trip with Mito, Toka and Izuna, leaving Tobirama in charge of this walking trash fire of a man. “Listen. Tobira... Tobi. Tobirama. You’re so hot.”

The words almost made Tobirama stumble.

“What, Uchiha?”

“And cute... So pretty, too, I wish you could see that...” Madara went on babbling. “I think you do. But still. Wish you could see me like I do. I mean see you. Like I do...”

“Tobira, you’re just, you’re unfair...”

“I hate you and I like you then I love you and I hate you again, why you’reー” A hiccup. “How do you exist...”

“I just want to hold hands and just... walk and talk and be together and...”

Tobirama watched in ever mounting confusion as Madara leaned completely into him, humming as he hugged Tobirama tightly and said,

“Is that too fucking much to ask...”

Tobirama stood, shell-shocked, with Madara whispering impossible nonsense in his arms, wondering if he was in a dream.

 The next day saw Madara returning to his usual self insulting Tobirama at every goddamn opportunity, which left Tobirama... confused.

Confused, and conflicted, and sleepless for the rest of the night, thoughts held captive by the utter idiot whose ultimate goal seems to be to ruin Tobirama’s life.

It’s maddening.

Of course, he’d suspected that Madara’s flailing and constant blushing interspersed with screams and insults (the most creative ones, reserved only for Tobirama, it seemed) were signs of not so much dislike, as the complete opposite. Of course, Tobirama had tried flirting with Madara, just bordering right there on the edge of suggestive, only for his advances to be seen as patronizing or condescending. And hearing Madara speak to him this way, in a drunken stupor no less, when he’d probably have no causeーor abilityーto lie is...

Maddening. Annoying. Exhilarating. A tantalizing opportunity. Maybe a glimmer of hope.

And of course, Tobirama told his brother; they never really had any secrets between them. And of fucking course Hashirama had a hand in convincing Madara to change his usual behavior, which is nice and all, but doesn’t help the nerves wracking through Tobirama’s body, nor the crippling fear that he’s going to somehow screw this up.

But no. Deep breath. Exhale. And remember Anija’s advice.

Tobirama takes the last turn before he’s faced with their meeting place, surprised to find Madara already there.

Even though he’s usually always late. Sitting inside by the window, looking out onto the street with a slight frown, Madara keeps worrying his bottom lip and, apparently, trying to break a spoon.

It paints an endearing picture. Tobirama sighs, feeling a smile tugging at his lips.

This man...

Tobirama comes in, approaching him slowly, allowing himself a few moments to watch Madara needlessly fix his wild mane of hair, appraise his reflection in the spoon, try out several fake-looking smiles before settling on a scowl and going back to his nervous tics again. With another sigh, Tobirama takes the few steps left to his date, repeating Hashirama’s advice over and over in his head.

Just be yourselfーand have fun!

Just a few minutes into their date, it becomes obvious that Madara didn’t get the same advice from Hashirama.

Or just didn’t get the advice, period.

With their orders made and beverages served, they’re left to wallow in a less than comfortable silence, broken only by Madara’s... uncharacteristic attempts at conversation.

“Are you enjoying the tea?” Madara asks Tobirama with all of the softness of a brick wall.

Tobirama isn’t used to the man being eloquent, much less polite, and he has yet to have at least one conversation with Madara that doesn’t devolve into a pissing contest. So theoretically, Tobirama should be enjoying this.

But it only seems wrong. Annoying. Not them.

He tries to recall if, maybe, their first meeting was an adequate exchange? Tobirama thinks to the day Hashirama first introduced them. Only flashes of spilled milkshakes and jibes at intelligence run through his mind, and of course that was the very first time he’d called Madara an idiot pipsqueak, receiving quite the lame ‘stuck-up dandelion’ in turn.

Unsurprising.

“Yes,” Tobirama says, taking another sip as he eyes Madara struggling on the other side of the table. Struggling to do what is the question: either sit straight, or assume a more relaxed posture, or reach towards his own drink, or avoid eye contact, even though he keeps glancing his way when he thinks Tobirama won’t notice. Tobirama does, every time, and that just makes the whole ordeal more awkward. “Nice weather,” Tobirama says, with about as much enthusiasm.

If Madara wants to play this stupid game, Tobirama will indulge. Just to see how long it takes for Madara to break and return to his blustering status quo.

“Yeah...” Madara clears his throat, eye twitching as he manages to hold Tobirama’s gaze for a commendable three seconds this time. “Hate the sun. I meanーI mean I love the sun. Ugh. It just, uh. Burns.”

It’s both saddening and funny to see Madara visibly deflate.

“Skin too sensitive, huh?” Tobirama starts small. “Just like your ego?”

Madara’s jaw clenches and his nervous look shifts into a glare before he looks away again, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to calm himself down before he flashes an unnaturally cheery smile.

“Heh, nice,” Madara grits through his teeth, “nice joke, Senju.”

Tobirama raises his eyebrow as Madara flinches at his own words.

“I’m glad you appreciate my sense of humor,” Tobirama says, barely reining in a smirk.

“Sure! You’reーyou’re funny.”

“And?”

“And what?” Madara frowns, confused.

“And what else am I?” Tobirama demands, feigning thoughtfulness. “A recent assessment of yours was that I look and act like a self-obsessed dumbass, I think.”

“No-no,” Madara blurts out, looking much a cornered animal, “I think you... you are... you look not at all so terrible today?” he finishes with a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his hair.

Tobirama wants to scream from the agony.

No. This won’t do, otherwise he might as well leave.

“Can you just call me a stuck-up asshole like you always do or recite one of those horrible limerick disses?” he demands.

Madara actually yelps. “What? No! I mean, wait.” He narrows his eyes. “Why?”

“Because you’re acting weird.”

“We’re on a date, if you were too stupーpreoccupied to get my invitation, Senju,” Madara says, jaw still clenched as he doubtless refrains from swearing, “and I’m being civil!”

That’s the advice he must have gotten from Anija, Tobirama thinks.

What a tragedy.

“Madara,” Tobirama implores, leaning his eyebrows on the table and meeting Uchiha’s gaze, “have you considered thatーI prefer it when you aren’t?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, thank fuck!” Madara slams his hands on the table, heaving a massive sigh as Tobirama laughs in relief. “I was ready to fucking die, you piece of shit! How does your brother stay so fucking kind all the time, it’s fucking torture!”

Tobirama rolls his eyes. “It’s a talent, naturally. Just like your talent at embarrassing yourself and mine at being awesome.”

“You’ve got it a little backwards, Senju,” Madara sneers, “but it’s excusable, given your level of intellect.”

“Twice as high as yours?” Tobirama parries.

“Twice as little.”

“That’s more like it,” Tobirama says, grinning despite himself, “I thought you were a decoy or something. You’ve told me to fuck off every single day since we first met and this was getting worrisome.”

Madara’s laugh is sudden, melodic, sending those irritating tingling sensations through Tobirama’s body. He makes an effort to appear outwardly calm.

“Maybe because you managed to piss me the fuck off every day that I’ve known you,” Madara scoffs, “but you’re all right sometimes. I guess.” He shrugs, feigning nonchalance even as he keeps nervously fixing and running his fingers through his hair.

A stupid, tantalizing habit. Tobirama imagines carding his own hands through the messy locks, tugging Madara’s head back toー

He forcefully aborts the thought process before he’s faced with a problem of the harder kind. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll try to strangle each other when we game together.”

“We’re playing today?” Madara asks.

Tobirama tilts his head to the side.

“You haven’t planned one gaming session after our date?”

“Um,” Madara says, blinking rapidly, “why should I be the one with the plan?”

“Because you’re the one who invited me,” Tobirama deadpans. And anyway, Madara is always the one to egg Tobirama on to gaming, which would usually only ever lead to semi-playful brawls and their fighting making Hashirama cry.

And without Anija there to assault them with his antics, Tobirama wonders what their play-fighting might lead to... and promptly shuts off those thoughts again. Control, dammit.

Madara opens his mouth, then closes it, sighs explosively and says, “All right, fair enough. But you’re the strategy pro here. And my thing is RPGs.” He smirks. “I can improvise.”

And Madara does, in fact, improvise, leading Tobirama on what he hopes is a satisfying daylong adventure. It’s strange, walking by themselves around Konoha without anyone else with them (not that they’ve taken to ignoring Hashirama and Mito anyway on their most recent group outings), free to talk about and do anything they want. Strange and perfect, the way Tobirama switches between poorly concealed bashfulness and his usual confidence, as their jokes and jibes at each other, every little prank they pull never fails to make them both laugh.

It’s perfect.

Just like Tobirama’s smile is, directed at him without any pretenses as they set off to explore the lush, gigantic forest surrounding the city, rumored to be home to mythical, many-tailed creatures. And that’s followed by their forays into an abandoned chemistry lab; the scares they get in the woods from intermittent growls coming from the shadows are nothing compared to the horror Madara feels when Tobirama insists on touching broken vials and experimental equipment, and going through doors with dilapidated ‘DANGER. CHEMICAL HAZARD’ signs.

“If we’re infected by some deadly and insidious poison,” Madara whispers as they explore the lab’s tunnels, “I’m going to fucking kill you before it does. Painfully.”

“It’s for science,” Tobirama says. “And trust me. We’re safe. I got a degree in this.”

��Youtube is practically your full-time job at this point. What the fuck else do you need?”

“The satisfaction of discovering something cool?”

“And deadly.”

"Unlikely.”

Madara groans, cursing his life, as well as his inability to say no to hisーapparentlyーnew boyfriend.

The boyfriend who’s just discovered another hidden pathway to a deeper level and has scurried off towards it like an excited five-year-old. Despite himself, despite his intent to keep complaining, Madara can’t hold back the grin tugging at his lips.

Still perfect.

Just like their lunch date which turns into a picnic by the Naka river, where Madara remembers meeting Hashirama way back when. Just like the first time Tobirama grasps his hand, fingers gently massaging it as he laughs at Madara stuttering to a stop from whatever rant he’d been on, heart in his throat and mind suddenly focused on whether his palms are too sweaty or not.

His mind goes blank. Eyes focus only on the man in front of him, whom he yearns to strangle just as often as he craves to tackle him onto any surface and ruin him completely. And it should feel wrong, it should be, only Madara hasn’t quite felt so right about anything in a long time, and with every minute they spend with their familiar bickering, just with a layer of something more behind it this time, it becomes harder and harder to deny how good being near Tobirama makes him feel. Happy. Complete.

Madara winces. Oh, gods. He’s waxing poetic now.

All worries about that fly out the window when Tobirama, without so much as a word of warning, leans in and draws Madara by his collar into a kiss.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t spring up to awaken alone in his bed like he always does, after dreams like these.

And, unsurprisingly, it turns out to be Madara’s best kiss to date.

Maybe he’s exaggerating, if just because he’s been craving this so damn much. Tobirama’s lips are hot, gentle, and welcoming against his, a curious tongue darting out to coax Madara’s lips open and deepen the kiss. The delightful drag of his tongue, his hands, rough and demanding on Madara’s chest, waist, thighsーit’s not long before he’s dizzy with it, barely holding back moans of pleasure for fear of sounding too desperate.

“Fuck,” Madara gasps as they pull away for breath, lips still touching as their eyes stay locked and he’s treated to Tobirama’s downright ravenous gaze. “That wasー”

Tobirama cuts him off with another kiss, then another, and it’s not long before they find themselves tangled in a mess of limbs and loose clothing. The hard ground presses against Madara’s back as Tobirama settles on top of him, ravaging Madara’s mouth with a passion that soon has his pants feeling too tight.

Fuck.

He groans, hips thrusting of their own accord and feeling Tobirama's own erection through the fabric.

Madara makes an immense effort to pull away, stifling a whine at the loss of contact.

“Bed,” he says, mortified at his own crudeness far too late after the word comes out. “Fuck, I meantー”

“Yes,” Tobirama growls, capturing Madara’s lips in another open-mouthed kiss before he hauls him up to start gathering their things. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours? Izuna,” Madara rasps, head too clouded to explain more in-depth, but Tobirama seems to understand.

“Anija shouldn’t be back for a while,” Tobirama says, a devastating grin on his face, “lots of time for us to play.”

Gods.

Madara scrambles to his feet fast enough to stumble, and for once, Tobirama has nothing to say about his clumsiness.

They all but crash through the front door, not even bothering to lock it as they rush through a cursory check to make sure Hashirama is out like he said he’d be.

“Fuck, thank the gods,” Tobirama sighs in relief before dragging Madara back into liplock.

Madara can’t hold back a moan this time, heat ratcheting up between them as he wraps his hands around Tobirama’s neck, pulling him closer as they stumble to the couch. Madara ends up straddling him just so that their cocks brush through too-rough clothing, kiss growing urgent and sloppy, as wandering hands touching every inch of uncovered skin.

Clothes fall away, leaving them both shirtless, and Madara needs a few moments to take in the miles of pale skin, so soft to the touch, toned muscles rippling as Tobirama squirms under him, gasps and groans escaping his lips in answer to every one of Madara’s touches. He leans in to mouth Tobirama’s neck, sucking bruising kisses onto the soft skin there pleasure flaring at the base of his stomach each time Tobirama moans and arches against him.

“You’re so sensitive,” Madara whispers, with a hint of incredulity. “That’s... fuck.”

“Yeah,” Tobirama rasps, eyes unfocused, “because... just get on with it.”

“If I knew this is what it took to finally get you to shut up,” Madara chuckles, “I would have tried this a long time ago.”

If he weren’t so sure Tobirama genuinely despised him. Butー

“I fucking wished you would!” Tobirama snaps, though the irritation rings hollow with the breathless tone.

Madara blinks in shock.

“You did?” Madara asks, moving lower to lap at Tobirama’s nipple, sucking the hardened nub into his mouth and eliciting another delicious whimper. “You thought about this? About my hands on you, touching you?”

“Yes!” The desperation in his tone only adds to Madara’s mounting confidence, one that he so rarely ever feels in Tobirama’s presence.

“My mouth on your cock,” he continues, heart hammering against his ribs as he trails kisses lower and lower, “would you like that? While I finger you, getting you ready to take me?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Tobirama’s hips jerk, making them both moan at the friction.

“Off,” Madara grunts, tugging at Tobirama’s pants with one hand as the other works the belt off his own. They scramble, a bit awkwardly, until they’re both naked and sprawled on top of each other, and Madara all but drools at the sight of Tobirama’s cock, hard and straining, beads of precum already leaking from the tip.

Perfect.

It’s tempting to just let go but Madara decides to take his time. Strokes Tobirama’s sides and chest, fingers his nipples, kisses every inch of skin he can reach, sucking bruises and biting slightly. He marvels at every little keen and groan he wrings from Tobirama, relishing how needy he grows with each second, how he moans Madara’s name, curses him and urges Madara to touch him, sliding his dick against his and huffing when Madara doesn’t do anything about it, before finally devolving into pleading.

Just what Madara’s been waiting for.

“Madara, please,” Tobirama’s whines, a soft, desperate sound that makes Madara groan in turn.

“Please what?” he asks, knowing he’s being a tease and enjoying the hell out of it.

Tobirama musters a pretty non-intimidating glare. “Just... fuck.”

“Tell me.”

“Fuck you.”

“Is that what you want?” Madara raises an eyebrow, making sure to wet his lips, letting his tongue gently graze the head of Tobirama’s cock. “I can bottom. I don’t mind.”

“Fuck!” Tobirama squeezes his eyes shut, heavy breathing interspersed with desperate whines. “Just... suck me off. Please. Now.”

“That’s it, Tobirama,” Madara drags out the syllables of his name, a smirk tugging at his lips, “when you ask so nicely, how can I refuse?”

He wraps his lipsーfinallyーaround the head, licking at the salty fluid gathered there, ears ringing from the heady feel of Tobirama’s cock against his mouth, his hands tangling in Madara’s hair, the sounds slipping from Tobirama’s lips that are borderline fucking obscene. Madara takes a breath to brace himself and takes Tobirama a few inches deeper. His length is hot, stiff, and heavy in his mouth as Madara presses the flat of his tongue against the underside, sucking hard, wringing another delectable whimper. Tobirama’s thrusts up, cock hitting the back of his throat, and Madara chokes for a moment, his own dick jerking at the sensation.

“Madara,” Tobirama breathes, “Madara, gods, you feel amazing.”

The words send another rush of pleasure through him, and Madara takes himself in hand to release some of the unbearable tension, stroking himself slowly as he relaxes his throat and sinks down to take Tobirama to the base.

Tobirama’s moan is a sweet, drawn-out melody. One that Madara enjoys making louder and louder as he starts moving, setting a fast-paced rhythm, uncaring for how debauched he may look, drool leaking out of his mouth and coating Tobirama’s cock, throat constricting around it as he takes him deep, lets him stay there, tongue gliding along his shaft. Tobirama soon devolves into barely coherent pleading, until ‘please’, and ‘more’, and Madara’s name are the only words coming out of his mouth.

It’s intoxicating. Overwhelming, far too much. Madara gives up stroking himself, the pleasure ramping up far too quickly, too soon, though Tobirama isn’t doing much better. Madara draws his lips up along his length, lapping up more precum gathered at the head, even as Tobirama’s hips jerk again and the hand in Madara’s hair tightens, urging him back down.

“Madara, please,” Tobirama keens, “I need...”

Madara has a pretty good idea of what he needs. He swirls his tongue over the head, descending again until his nose is pressed against Tobirama’s stomach. Madara swallows around him once, twice, a third time before he feels Tobirama nudging at his shoulder in a warning he doesn’t pay heed to, starting to bob his head again, wrapping his fingers around the base of Tobirama’s cock, using both his mouth and hand to bring him to completion.

“Fuck, Madara, Iー”

Madara lets out a muffled groan once he feels cum spilling against his tongue, swallowing rapidly as Tobirama’s cock pulses, again and again, through an orgasm that has him writhing and and trembling underneath him, hands tightening in Madara’s hair enough to hurt with the kind of tantalizing pain that only adds to the pleasure.

“You feel so fucking good,” Tobirama pants, watching Madara through white lashes, eyes dark and hazy as another shudder runs through him, “fuckーI want...”

Madara releases him with a wet pop. “Want what, Tobirama?” he whispers, voice too hoarse for him to speak properly.

Tobirama grips his shoulders in lieu of an answer, directing Madara to turn around so his back is pressed against his chest.

Then Tobirama’s hand wraps around his cock andーoh.

Madara has pretty much forgotten about his own pleasure, too focused on not coming too soon and making sure Tobirama was enjoying himself.

“My turn,” Tobirama murmurs against his ear, tone still breathless but with a commanding edge to it now that makes Madara shiver, “and lemmeーlet me hear you, Madara.”

Gods. He groans just from the sound of Tobirama’s voice. The feel of his teeth nibbling at his earlobe, his hand setting a quick, harsh rhythm that builds up the pleasure to impossible degrees. Tobirama’s heated skin pressed against his back, his thighs, the fingers of his other hand carding through his hair with a gentleness that contrasts with his harshness before.

It’s too much.

“Go on, Madara.”

Tobirama’s fingers swiping at the precome gathering at the head of Madara’s cock, smearing it over his shaft. His voice, a muffled whisper coaxing Madara to let go, to come for him, to say Tobirama’s nameー

“Just like that, Madara,” Tobirama grunts, “louder for me, come on.”

Madara thrusts into his grip, all but fucking into Tobirama’s fist at this point, moans his name as the heat grows unbearable the closer he gets to release.

“To-bi-rama...” He comes with a broken groan slipping from his lips as cum spills all over his stomach and Tobirama’s hand, each pulse coming stronger than the last, leaving him dizzy and boneless in Tobirama’s arms for however long it takes for his orgasm to abate.

Feels like forever. Probably a lot less. Time does seem to slow down, though, both of them collapsing against each other onto the cushions, breathing raggedly and curling into each other as Madara turns to bury his head in the crook of Tobirama’s neck.

It still seems unreal. Too perfect. So right.

They lie there for a minutes, coming down from the high, limbs tangled and lazy kisses exchanged here and there. Tobirama looks so peaceful, like Madara’s never seen him before: eyes half-lidded, hair messier than ever, sticking in every direction, skin still flushed and marked, all over, with hickeys and teeth marks, the mere sight of which has Madara’s dick stirring in interest, recent orgasm or no.

“You know,” Madara says, hands running over Tobirama’s chest, barely grazing his still sensitive nipples and making him shiver, “if this is the game you want to play, I’m really not against binging it. The rest of the dayーweekend, if you want.” Madara presses a kiss to Tobirama’s neck. “Make the playthrough as thorough as possible.” To his collarbone. “Unlock all achievements and, uh,” Madara trails his hand along Tobirama’s chest to his groin, past his length and to his ass, "explore every location.”

“If that was some thinly veiled euphemism,” Tobirama says, barely holding in laughter, “for you wanting to fuck me sideways...” Madara holds Tobirama’s gaze as his fingers hover just over Tobirama’s hole. “Then Madara, for fuck’s sake, stop trying to be subtle and get to work.”

Madara barks out a laugh.

“Whatever you say, Tobirama.”

Madara dips his voice low and deep, like he’s noticed Tobirama loves, and relishes the whimper it earns him. Relishes the way Tobirama arches against him, looking for friction, how delectable he looks, ready and responsive, so eager for Madara’s touch.

He knows then and there that if it’s up to him, Madara will do anything to make this last.

#madatobi #tobimada #modern au #youtuber au #lou writes #idiots in love #madara is in denial (and thirsting) #tobirama is laughing (and equally thirsting) from the sidelines #fluff and smut #humor #meow

[retphienix]

Well.

That’s that. I’ll make a final quick post but what even is there to say?

Skyrim ends on the limpest noodle of an ending it can. A bethesda tradition- though miles lesser than even Oblivions cutscene ending.

What an ‘okay’ game. A game I truly still don’t understand the intense popularity of. Like, this is a game that often comes up in discussions of Bethesda making their titles more streamlined or ‘mainstream’ or ‘easy’ and honestly, yeah, it’s plenty of that. And I don’t really see anything wrong with that- not my preferred flavor- but also not something I’d remotely push away because it increases accessibility and CAN BE A GOOD THING IN GENERAL.

But this... I just don’t really like this. It’s funny that the point I had stopped at years and years ago was right after capturing the dragon in Whiterun- because that’s like 10 minutes from beating the game and I just stopped because my interest was zero and some new exploits for grinding levels quickly were found that removed the last pittance of enjoyment I was having.

I was harsh on the game back then, and I can’t help but say at least half of that spite was justified. Today though? It’s okay.

It’s purely, entirely, 100%, okay.

It won’t let me role play because the customization limits me in every way that would allow me to better enjoy my character (no custom spells, no athletics or acrobatics, no real reason to do anything but use a bow, and some innovations that should have come to this title way back in 2011 such as buffing weapons with spells aren’t here either which is weird).

It won’t let me role play because every character you could ever have an opinion about is essential so you can’t decide “My character would NEVER take this, they’d take matters into their own hands and kill one to save a hundred”.

It won’t let me enjoy the world because it’s aesthetics are BORING AS HECK and the politics are just laughably annoying. Seriously “Race superiority as a character trait for an entire race of people” isn’t interesting or fun, it’s racism, a boring and easily written trait which I’m gonna hate and you making so many of these racists essential is you telling me that you’re crappy writing is more important than me role playing in your role playing game. I’m not saying “Don’t include that” so much as “Let me DO something about it other than sit there smiling while I listen to your crap writing”.

Dragons are the innovation of this title compared to Oblivion (well, that and removing all fantasy aesthetics for brown and white colors) and they suck. They suck entirely. They aren’t fun to fight. They are the final boss and you saw how it goes- just stand in place waiting on their bulletsponge health bar to go down. Dragons. Suck. In. Skyrim. They are ‘okay’ aesthetically, though I prefer more fantastical interpretations, but they just suck in every other way. Being the only part of the story that matters? Sucks. Gameplay? Sucks. Loot being pretty much just ‘scales and bones to make the strongest armor for yourself and that’s it which in itself makes it so a smith character can be fully equipped a couple hours after starting the game’? Sucks. It’s not fun or interesting.

Music? Sucks. Say whatever you like. I hated the viking chant from the first trailer and every time I turn on the game I despise it, and the other music is just boring.

I’m ranting. The game’s okay. There’s a lot of fun here for the first few hours. Exploring caves is fun for a little bit- but then it quickly becomes a chore. Looting is fun for a little bit, then it becomes pointless. Leveling stuff is fun for a little bit then you realize there aren’t any interesting spells and no custom spells so all you’re doing is leveling attack stats and picking perks that literally just raise your damage, how interesting.

There’s good. Some quests are really well done- heck- Dragonborn was a riling good time throughout with interesting enemies, aesthetics, and questlines! THAT WAS FUN! Fighting a Giant at level 4? FUN! The first time you absorb a dragon soul and everyone cheers? FUN! Heck- that first encounter with a giant spider? FUN!!!!

But then you’re exploring the umpteenth dwarf ruin, or feeling your brain melt as you face yet more falkner, or ask yourself if you want to just use the dragon comman shout on this random encounter dragon so you can walk away and not fight it for pointless loot, or you start asking yourself why spells like candelight or items like torches even have time limits when so many of the locations you enter are dark and drab to the point of inducing a headache, or you get dragged into another quest telling you to care about the Empire vs Ulfric quest which I CAN’T CARE ABOUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME, or any number of things.

But then you see a troll, light them on fire, and it feels good a moment again.

It’s a mixed bag. I don’t hate it nearly as much as I did before, but yeah, still not remotely my jam.

There’s plenty I didn’t do. Version I played can’t support mods so there was none of that- which I’d argue isn’t the point, but also I’d argue ‘good mods make a game better and only exist because of the community so in a way good mods SHOULD be considered a part of the game’ so I don’t know. Irrelevant for me anyway since I couldn’t use em. Didn’t make a house though I know that’s a feature somewhere, I’ll look up a video and feel like I did it myself, it’s fine. I didn’t bother maxing out blacksmithing like I did years back, which means I didn’t bother making dragon armor, but it didn’t seem to matter and I’ve done that before anyway. Didn’t do a lot of things- but most of those things would entail repeating the exact boring complaints I’ve had just to do em- like grinding resources for a house, or clearing more caves for some of the guilds.

Heck, guilds, didn’t do most of them because they don’t interest me as much in this game. Didn’t do thieves because I was burnt out on Riften by the time it became a real option despite that being one of my favorites in Oblivion. Same with Dark Brotherhood. Maybe I’ll revisit to do them but I gotta be real- I’m burnt out on Skyrim’s bland everything, I probably won’t.

But yeah. This was a very negative take away so let me recolor that as best I can.

Skyrim was okay. I had a lot of fun that I didn’t expect to have. I really like my character Senn’Rawg despite the fact this game didn’t let me role play and craft her at all- I would like to revisit her in another game that better lets me, you know, be a person instead of a boring “yes man / no please die” protag. I had a lot of fun. And I had a lot of not so fun times. And now I’m done. I’ll toss a quick post just because but yeah, this wasn’t as painful a revisit as I thought it’d be. I’ve been saying things like that a lot lately- I think it’s because my view on games has grown with me to the point where now I really honestly do look for what the game has to offer despite any flaws, as opposed to seeing flaws and giving up seeing anything good. Too bad my writing didn’t give off that impression in this wrap up, lol.

#RetPlays #Skyrim

[infamouslydorky]

Y’all asked for my BS essay so here ya go..

Absurdity of Violence

           Absurdity of Violence is a gallery assembly of six works from the 2007 online class-based first-person shooter video game Team Fortress 2 developed by Valve and curated around Hannah Arendt’s quote:

"Violence is by nature instrumental; like all means, it always stands in need of guidance and justification through the end it pursues. And what needs justification through something else cannot be the essence of anything." 

To break down Arendt’s quote in relation to this game: "Violence is by nature instrumental" meaning violence in itself is a tool or device made to carry out a particular function, that function being to maintain control over people allowing a person or government to have power. Violence “…always stands in need of guidance and justification through the end it pursues." The words "guidance" and "justification" are brought up referring back to how violence is an instrument or "tool" and tools are designed with a purpose preceding its conception. A hammer is designed to put a nail in a wall. Essence precedes existence. What makes this quote distinctive, however, is the last sentence:  "And what needs justification through something else cannot be the essence of anything." Ardent is saying how using the purpose of something else to make an action or use of a tool right or reasonable means the tool inherently has no reason so violence is a tool without a reasonable purpose. Violence is therefore absurd. There are times when the existence of violence precedes the essence and is justified by senseless means. It becomes important to consider the idea of "when is violence reasonable" when applied to any day and age as violence is something that comes up perpetually throughout human history and even in entertainment like video games.

Hannah Arendt wrote extensively about the philosophy of violence applying it to Enlightenment ideas of “reason above all” resulting in the thought of “when is violence ever reasonable?” She focused primarily on physical violence and how the balance of violence versus power dynamic would operate in more governmental or, more accurately, political facets. Power, by her definition, was in the “polis” or “the people”, “assembly”, and so on. Violence is an implement to maintain the assembly so that they follow obediently, allowing governments or people in high positions to maintain their status of control, for power is control over the “polis”.

There have been many instances where art is political or philosophical in its visual statement. However, it is not often that people consider video games art, let alone a form of art with political or philosophical undertones. Video games began with Pong, A game where the objective was to pass a “ball” into the opposing player’s goal, replicating actions much like tennis in a pixelated form. Video games have since become a more and more elaborate as an interactive art medium. The conception of a video game begins around a central idea, usually a game mechanic, especially in earlier games, and elaborates on it via the controls. Over the years, more types of video games have come forward. Some examples of types of video games include retro (like Pac Man or Pong), platformer, racing, survival horror, and first-person shooter.

FPS, or first-person shooters, are a type of video game that innately come with a sense of violence as the primary objective of this game type centers around the killing of players on the opposing team to reach an end goal, be it a payload, capture the flag, or other game modes. Being that Team Fortress 2 is a class-based FPS, the gameplay fluctuates depending on which character or class the player chooses in order to balance gameplay. Each class has an opposing class that is a complete foil to them. On top of that comes the dynamic of weapon choice for any of the nine classes in what is the most efficient choice in weaponry to eliminate an opposing player. Online servers can hold up to fifteen players on both the RED and BLU teams leading to simultaneously the most violent and absurd battles to ever come to fruition as cartoon violence is a staple of the game.

Arendt details how in some cases, a certain level of violence can be necessary such as in the civil rights movement, though she says violent acts like Mutually Assured Destruction (M.A.D.) is insanity. M.A.D. is the concept that both sides have the equal threat of weaponry guaranteed to destroy each other worlds over, so it stagnates the fight in an ultimate stalemate as no one wants to die. Even the idea of perpetuating war to make a need for weapons development (the military-industrial complex) could be considered insanity. In a humorous happenstance, TF2 (Team Fortress 2) reflects both aspects of M.A.D. and the military-industrial complex within its lore and gameplay.

Team Fortress 2, while it is an FPS game like Call of Duty, Overwatch, or Battlefront, the latter three games at most may have humorous elements sprinkled in game. TF2 does not take itself seriously in tone whatsoever, opting for complete absurdity within both its lore and game mechanics. As an example, game mechanics wise, whenever a character is killed, they “ragdoll” causing the character to be laid out in a ridiculous manner as if they have no bones whatsoever. More specific mechanics like “rocket jumping” is applied to the soldier class, where the character aims at the floor with his rocket launcher and jumps across the game map via explosions. It is the ultimate Michael Bay Experience.

Arendt wrote her article for a New York periodical in a time when revolution was all around, the year 1969. Around this time was the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., The rise of the Black Power Movement, the communist threat, the assassination of Robert “Bobby” Kennedy, the French revolution with university students, and the Vietnam war, to name a few hectic events. In conjunction to the historical hot mess of wars and revolution in the late 60s, the game TF2 takes place within the same time period, capitalizing on the high tension of the political tides of the time, especially in relation to protests against war as the entire game is centered around nine mercenaries hired to fight a senseless war.

2Fort, Valve, Game map/interactive media, 2007

2Fort is a map centered around the “capture the flag” game mode. This particular game mode is based around the two teams (RED and BLU) trying to seize the opposing team’s intelligence or “flag” and returning it to their own team’s base until the team has “captured the flag” three times. Each team has their own designated side of the map where their home base exists, be it RED or BLU. There are modified variants of this game mode where the cap score or endgame score can be virtually endless so in-game it becomes senseless to even bother with attempting to win. It adds to the absurdity of the violence as the violent actions that players commit on opposing team members no longer has a purpose as the game mode is completely changed making the purpose of the original game mode become irrelevant and quite literally pointless. The objective of the game, therefore, becomes one of strictly eliminating the enemy team, removing the justification for the violence. Some players choose to embrace the idea of senseless slaughter simply to aggravate opposing team members as some find extreme joy in other’s frustration. In other cases, players may choose to recognize the senselessness of the modified game mode and make peace with opposing team members via mutual in-game taunts that cause their virtual characters to interact in a peaceful manner. Either way, it becomes relevant on a personal scale whether or not a player chooses to act on the irrelevant justification of violence in the modified game mode and partake in senseless violence.

Hightower, Valve, Game map/ interactive media, 2010

Hightower, like the aforementioned 2Fort, is a game map that players can play against each other on. Again, each team’s home base is set on opposite sides of the map, however, Hightower does not operate on a “capture the flag” game mode. Hightower is a “double payload” map. “Payload” is a game mode where one team (usually RED) defends against the opposing team (usually BLU) attempting to blow up the RED team’s home base by pushing a bomb-cart across the map and destroying the enemy’s base. “Double payload” is when both teams must push a bomb-cart into the opposing team’s base and defend their own base simultaneously. In most conventional maps that follow the “payload” game mode, the enemy team’s base is on the polar opposite side of the map, having a huge skirmish area in between the ends of the map. This map, however, has both opposing team bases directly next to each other, so, realistically speaking, the bomb is probably going to blow up one’s own home base as well, making it an act of mutual deterrence. The objective behind the violence is once again completely senseless. In the end, there is no true victory. Only destruction.

TF2 Comics: Loose Canon, Valve, Web-comic, 13 pages, 2010

                As far as the game’s lore goes: a British industrialist and weapons manufacturer, Zephaniah Mann, during the mid-1800s, is convinced by his twin sons Redmond and Blutarch Mann to purchase land in the American Southwest as his sons believe that the land is abundant in an invaluable resource known as gravel, yet they do not know that gravel is completely useless rocks that cannot be used to run steam-powered engines or formulate gasoline as they believe. Angered by his wasted purchase of land, in his will, Zephaniah sentences his sons to have to share the land while his fortune went to his maidservant, Elizabeth and his company (Mann Co.) went to his aide, Barnabas Hale. Unable to settle their differences over the land, the two brothers each hired a set of nine mercenaries to completely take over the other’s portion of land and thus began the senseless gravel war. Blutarch Mann hired Rattigan Conagher (The grandfather to the engineer class character, Dell Conagher in-game) to make a life to extend machine so that he could outlive his brother Redmond and gain the land by default. Elizabeth’s granddaughter, Helen, then hires Rattigan to extend Redmond’s life too via a second life-extending machine so the war between the two truly will never end. The machines run on the rare and valuable element “Australium”, which has life-enhancing and giving properties and is only found in Australia. Redmond and Blutarch Mann wage war, ravaging the natural land and destroying the local town for their petty squabble. The violence does no one good as no brother will win in this endless stalemate.

            Mann Vs. Machine, Valve, Animated Short, 3 min 1 sec, 2012            TF2 is a game that has been around for ten years. How could it stay relevant for so long? Answer: the game has updates that adjust gameplay, add lore, and add game modes. In this particular case, there was the Mann Vs. Machine update which added a new game mode where any six players at a time could face off with a swarm of robots that attack one’s team in waves. One brings up the aspect of robots as Hannah Arendt mentions

“…that ‘within a very few years’ robot soldiers will have made ‘human soldiers completely obsolete,’ and that, finally, in conventional warfare the poor countries are much less vulnerable than the great powers precisely because they are ‘underdeveloped’ and because technical superiority can ‘be much more of a liability than an asset’ in guerrilla wars.”

What remains canon according to the comics accompanying the update is that the nine mercenaries defeat the army of robots made by Redmond and Blutarch’s estranged genius third brother Gray Mann. The mercenaries’ personal motivation for defeating them at all is within their job description: being paid to kill, be it human or machine, so long as the payroll comes in. Generally speaking, it could be argued as an unreasonable purpose to act violently since they end up with so much money at one point that they end up using it as fuel for a fireplace so their original purpose to act out in violence becomes absurd and “...cannot be the essence of anything.”

TF Comics #6: The Naked and the Dead, Valve, Web-comic, 274 pages, 2017            Team Fortress 2 is considered a sequel to Valve’s Team Fortress Classic which came out 1997 (ten years before TF2’s release) though they bear little resemblance to each other. Valve ties together its previous game with its sequel via the comics as the second group of nine mercenaries Redmond and Blutarch hired from the 1930s (the TFC mercenaries) come into play when the events of TF2 take place in the 1970s. The Team Fortress Classic (TFC) members now work under Gray Mann to eliminate the TF2 Mercenaries as well as track down as much Australium as possible by finding Helen, “the Administrator”-a woman who watches all the actions of the mercenaries of TF2 and disembodied voice that narrates the status of each team in game, playing both the RED and BLU teams. The TFC mercenaries figure out the value in Australium and betray Gray Mann, killing him. In this issue, it details how in every way the TFC mercenaries are more advanced and competent than the TF2 mercenaries though the TF2 mercenaries win in the end. In Arendt’s words: “…All violence harbors within itself an element of arbitrariness; nowhere does Fortuna, good or ill luck, play a more important role in human affairs than on the battlefield …” One brings this up as there is a literal “Deus ex Machina” scene with God, as an actual character in the story, reviving one of the TF2 mercenaries. Even if the tool of violence is used against the TF2 members, there is no point as they canonically are much like roaches and simply will not expire. There is usually some round-about way throughout the comics that they come back regardless of what happens to them.

Meet the Medic, Valve, Animated Short, 4 min 10 sec, 2011            As no stranger to animated shorts, Valve produced a series of Meet the Team videos introducing the different mercenary classes one can play as. Most of the series came out in 2007 with the game’s debut, though some of the series has been added as later installments. The Meet the Medic short, being released in 2011, emphasizes on not only the mechanics of the healer class but the character’s distinct personality. The Medic could easily be mistaken for a benevolent figure given the bias associated with most healer class personalities, however, the Medic chooses more so to heal as a byproduct of his sick curiosity. It is his job to heal teammates, though it brings him more pleasure to do harm to others than good, generally. An example of this is the existence of a live disembodied head of the Spy class character within his refrigerator. Is there a reasonable purpose for the Medic’s actions? No, though to answer the question of “what if” takes precedence over any standard of Modernist Enlightenment “reason”. “Violence by nature is instrumental…” and in this case, is used as an instrument for discovery as opposed to maintaining power or control. The Medic is not “constrained” by moral standards or the Hippocratic oath for that matter. There is irony in that the character has a bust of Hippocrates, “the father of medicine” and famed inventor of the “do no harm” oath; opting to use the bust as a weapon to bludgeon opposing team members in-game.  

#Team Fortress 2 #team fortress two #tf2 #I had to pull it off in one night.

[fire-emblem-strategy]

I mean I can pull a card from politics and show how good people with good intentions come up with policies that are wildly unpopular because they’re based on surveys that poll only specific special interest groups that represent a tiny minority overall.  IntSys didn’t do that.  They followed sales numbers and matched to popular, current games (that are recognizable, marketable, etc.).  If they had done what you (or I, admittedly) would have done, they would have made that mistake.  Old fans are a minority now.  Ballooning your user base by 200%, 300% over a handful of games and then not delivering content relatable to that market is bad business, especially in a crossover.  Like we can debate for years whether the pinnacle of Male Mage representation is Lewyn, Soren, Odin, or Boey, but it doesn’t matter because the first two are irrelevant to most newcomers.  Making a roster that pulls heavily from older games would be pandering.  It’s nice when you’re in the special interest group, and it’s stupid and annoying when you’re outside.

There is no ideal roster.  It’s impossible.  You have to trade compromise function, recognition, variety, and design.  For every someone that says, “I wish Xander had been replaced with Marcus”, there are three who don’t know who Marcus is, and you make that trade-off if you switch.  Several million people recognize Xander, so he’s your top pick for horseman.  Breadth of appeal is important.

I say all this as someone who spent a disproportionate amount of time and energy hoping that there would be a particular cat laguz in the game.

A counterpoint to everyone looking the same, functionally: I imagine this only holds on the surface.  Just going off of HW, there were....a dozen swords, in total?  Link, Impa, Zelda, Young Link, Zant, Ghirahim, Ganondorf, Toon Link, Tetra, and probably others I’m forgetting.  I can assure you, they all play very differently.  Young Link chains his boosted form for high-damage combos by converting special gauge to magic, while Ghirahim “tags” enemies to get extra hitboxes in their vicinity and Ganon’s heavies charge an AoE attack.  Believe me, there’s plenty of space to fill distinct fighting styles even within the limitations of “sword”.  And unlike HW, FEW offers new varieties, like “sword on a horse” and “sword with wings”.

wrt everything else, believe me, nobody played HW for story.  The gameplay is the primary focus, by far.  Because after a certain point, everything becomes a grind to get the skills and resources needed to pull off the high-difficulty maps, and if you don’t enjoy the gameplay, you never even get to there -- you would burn out.

I’m not putting it on myself to change your mind, but I am saying that the scope and perception of these factors as they relate to FEW is more attuned to a traditional RPG rather than a Warriors game, and that a Warriors game should be viewed and factors weighted completely differently.  Story goes to irrelevance when more than 2/3 of the game is postgame challenge maps, graphics are ehhh compared to framerate in an action game, the music is honestly great and there’s probably a little something for everyone if you go looking for it.  If you want, I can tell everyone what I think after it’s in my hands and everyone can update their models accordingly.

Believe me if I play it and I think it’s a steaming pile of dragon dung, I’ll let everyone know.  I’m just not prejudging based on the fact that it isn’t specifically catered to me and my special interest subgroup.

-Silas

#fire emblem #fire emblem warriors #few

[secretsquirrelmrl]

Secret Squirrel Makes War Much Easier On The Population Of The World.

  Secret Squirrel has seen the horrors of the day developing, emerging, evolving, war being very much like the Alien Xenomorph. He's seen two ridiculous fat men circling,taunting and screaming at each other, (Donald Trump and Kim Jung Un) threatening nuclear war. This displeases Squirrel enormously since Squirrel has pondered and noted that Trump and Kim Jong Un are both working towards and want war, nuclear war evidently. Squirrel has pondered, "I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm doomed! I'm DOOMED! They taught me up here in school, I have to crawl under a desk, and sniff Rhoda's behind! I don't HAVE a desk, and Rhoda's in Montreal! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm DOOMED! I'm DOOMED!" Yes, this displeases Squirrel very very much.     Well, what of war? Total war became the norm only a few centuries ago.  In medieval times, with exceptions, wars were between combatants.  Civilian populations were left to themselves, except perhaps to raid their farms for food.  In wars of conquest destroying producers and productive assets was counterproductive. As I say, there were exceptions.   One was the Mongols, who eradicated entire populations.  They valued empty pasture over settlements. In ancient times armies could be quite brutal, but the term "total war" came into use to describe the difference between modern and medieval war, which had become the norm. The American Civil War was total war on the North's part.  The civilian population was deliberately targeted, most notably in Sherman's march to the sea.  One northern newspaper editorialized: “When the rebellious traitors [Southern secessionists] are overwhelmed in the field . . . it must not be to return to peaceful and contented homes.   They must find poverty at their firesides, and see privation in the anxious eyes of mothers, and the rags of children.” Another paper “calls .  . for the punishment of all individuals at the South, by hanging, and the confiscation of everyone’s property. ”  Richmond “must be laid in ashes.”  Baltimore “must become a heap of cinders and ashes”  and “its inhabitants ‘ought either to be slaughtered, or scattered to the winds . . .” Virginia and Maryland “deserve to be laid waste and made desolate.” The fire bombing of Dresden in WWII was designed to terrorize the civilian population of Germany by killing many of them.  Likewise that atomic bombs at Nagasaki and Hiroshima. It's sometimes claimed that democracies don't go to war with each other.  Nonsense.  When they do, total war is the norm. When kings ruled the lands wars were between them, for limited objectives.   They paid from their own treasuries (though at times augmented by taxation of the people).  Citizens were otherwise irrelevant, except for those young who might callously picture war as an adventure and enlist (or be shanghaied) into the military..  Trade went on mostly as usual even across national borders. In democratic systems the entire populace is theoretically responsible for the war, having elected the leaders.  Propaganda is put forth to convince them of the rightness of the cause.  The industrial capacity of the nation is commandeered for war production.  The people are to not trade with the enemy.  They're expected to hail the combatants as heroes, and castigate the other side's combatants as cowards. Some recent wars don't quite fit the pattern, only because they have been relatively small.  It may be total war in Afghanistan, but with a voluntary military many Americans can see such actions as remote and irrelevant to their daily lives. total war.........According to Karl von Clausewitz, war is "the continuation of politics by other means"....some would say a failure of politics, but then obviously throughout the ages, politicians have most definitely been utter failures much as they still are yet today. The war is the way to conflict, more serious socio-political conflict between two or more groups. It is perhaps one of the most ancient of all international relations, even if it becomes a phenomenon particularly with the beginning of civilizations. It is the organized confrontation of human armed groups, with the purpose of controlling human or natural resources, or disarmament, submission and, where applicable, destruction of the enemy, and are produced by multiple causes, among which tend to be the maintenance or replacement of power relations, resolve economic or territorial disputes. In political science and international relations, the war is a political instrument, to the service of a State or another organization with political purposes. The word war has Germanic origin, "werra", which means fight, discord, tumult. And the term refers to the struggle or armed conflict between two or more Nations or sides of one nation; as well as combat, dissent among two or more people. The war has been a habitual means of problem solving among groups throughout our centuries. A war begins when you leave the dialog and appears violence; all with the aim of submitting to others, which is transformed into "enemy" to our will. A war unfold a series of ideological, political, social, economic, and military; many are the reasons for it include the lust for power of the person or group, own a territory, religious or moral issues, etc. When a war takes place as well know groups loaded weapons, that today have evolved and are more dangerous for humanity; Science and technology allows the use of new weapons and materials, nor can forget the refinement of methods of espionage and logistics systems and communication. There are many consequences bringing the wars, one of them are great human and material, serious losses and serious political and economic disruptions sometimes lack of food, medicines, clothing and housing, among other consequences. The war can refer to many types, we have the civil war, which occurs between opposite sides of a country; the world war, which is a military confrontation involving countries from different continents; the holy war, where religious grounds into action. Chemical warfare, where there is the use of chemicals that can disperse over wide expanses in the form of dust, gases, vapors or aerosols, damaging the health of the living being and the environment; nuclear war, which refers to the use of nuclear weapons; the dirty war, where it is employed coercive or violent illegal actions by the State or paramilitary groups, among others. The war can be described as an armed struggle between two or more States, or between areas of the same country (civil war). Also called war the violent opposition between two or more people by different interests. What triggers a war are many, but most of the conflicts of humanity had origin in religious issues, as for example, the Crusades, or territorial expansions, such as the expansion of the Roman Empire, the conquest of America or the first world war. Other crucial issues of wars are the ambitions of power, or economic causes. Two world wars events to mankind in the 20th century and determined the creation of the United Nations, to try to settle international conflicts and not become armed clashes. However the war is as old as man and threat with accompany him in his time on earth while it lasts. If not war, then what? What are nonviolent alternatives to war? The technology and methodology of war has developed over several thousand years, particularly accelerating in the last century. The United States has numerous military academies and war colleges (for a list see here) and spends about $600 billion each year for weapons development, military training, and maintenance of a massive war machine. The world currently spends over one trillion dollars each year on military might. Sadly thence we see that war is a business,big business, and good for business. We also note that income tax was first started by William Pitt The Younger, to fund his Napoleonic Wars...and income tax and wars have continued to this day.  Now I mentioned are there alternatives to war..well let's consider the 1965 Italian movie, The Tenth Victim....In the near future, big wars are avoided by giving individuals with violent tendencies a chance to kill in the Big Hunt. The Hunt is the most popular form of entertainment in the world and also attracts participants who are looking for fame and fortune. It includes ten rounds for each competitor, five as the hunters and five as the victims. The survivor of ten rounds becomes extremely wealthy and retires. Scenes switch between the pursuit, romance between a hunter and a victim, with a narrator explaining the rules and justification of the Hunt. Now consider Trump and Kim Jung Un running about just trying to kill each other...........well the two obese lards would certainly run about, run themselves thin, hiding no doubt.......and then, consider this, would either be actually willing to die for their respective countries, to go out and THENSLEVS risk death for either of their obese,jaded and somewhat mental ridiculous and warped views and sentiments? Hardly likely is it.  Consider substituting a Tamagotchi War, Tamagotchi was invented by Aki Maita for which she won the 1997 Ig Nobel Prize for economics. Tamagotchi is a keychain-sized virtual pet simulation game. The characters are colorful and simplistically designed creatures based on animals, objects, or people. Beginning with the 2004 Tamagotchi Plus/Connection, a second wave of Tamagotchi toys emerged, featuring a different graphic design by JINCO and gameplay which elaborated upon the first generations. However, the story behind the games remained the same: Tamagotchis are a small alien species that deposited an egg on Earth to see what life was like, and it is up to the player to raise the egg into an adult creature. The creature goes through several stages of growth, and will develop differently depending on the care the player provides, with better care resulting in an adult creature that is smarter, happier, and requires less attention. Gameplay can vary widely between models, and some models, such as TamagoChu, require little to no care from the player. For its current 2 decades, Tamagotchi has gained popularity worldwide....Consider them placed in a room,in a mansion with all needs provided and the first who's Tamagotchi dies, looses...that and their life. Again it's THEM isn't it, neither would like to risk themselves. WAR would be preferred by both.    The how to satisfy their needs for wars,them NOT getting killed................and nobody getting killed at all? Would that be acceptable? To Them probably not, but how's about you consider Squirrel's solution to not having a messy war, by still having a war...of sorts.     Now consider this........Paintball is a game developed in the 1980s in which players eliminate opponents from play by hitting them with dye-filled, breakable, oil and gelatin paintballs, or pellets, usually shot from a carbon dioxide or compressed air (Nitrogen) powered “paintball marker”. The game is regularly played at a sporting level with organized competition involving major tournaments, professional teams, and players. Games can be played on indoor or outdoor fields of varying sizes. A game field is scattered with natural or artificial terrain, which players use for tactical cover. Game types in paintball vary, but can include capture the flag, elimination, ammunition limits, defending or attacking a particular point or area, or capturing objects of interest hidden in the playing area. Depending on the variant played, games can last from seconds to hours, or even days in scenario play. The legality of paintball varies among countries and regions. In most areas where regulated play is offered, players are required to wear protective masks, use barrel blocking safety equipment, and game rules are strictly enforced.MilSim ("Military Simulation") is a mode of play designed to create an experience closer to military reality, where the attainment of specific objectives is the most important aspect of the game. MilSim addresses the logistics of combat, mission planning and execution, and dealing with limited resources and ammunition. Players are typically eliminated from the game when struck by paint. For aesthetic reasons, MilSim often uses airsoft guns rather than paintball guns, as their prominent hoppers appear unrealistic, however Airsoft pellets, being smaller caliber and fired at higher velocity, have an increased risk of player injury if the scenario involves high rates of fire or close range. With the advent of shaped projectiles, such as the First Strike, and the resulting development of magazine fed markers, a considerable increase in range, accuracy and MILSIM realism was gained. Functionally speaking, magazine-fed markers are no different than any other paintball marker, with one exception. Instead of paintballs being gravity fed from a bulky hopper, which sits above the marker, shaped projectiles (or paintballs) are fed from a spring-loaded magazine from the bottom of the marker. The caliber of both the gravity fed and magazine fed markers are the same (.68 caliber) and the velocities are also generally the same. The increased range and accuracy of the shaped projectile comes from the higher ballistic coefficient that the shaped projectile has, and the gyroscopic spin imparted onto the projectile from a rifled barrel and fins on the projectile itself. Magazine fed markers and shaped projectiles have allowed marker designs to more closely approximate the styling and functionality of actual (real steel) firearms, which intern has given paintball a better avenue to compete with Airsoft in the MilSiM environment.    You are getting Squirrel's idea now aren't you. You see each nation sends a properly appointed etc PAINTBALL TEAM.....to fight it out to the finish, according to the rules, whilst being watched and monitored. In the end, with the last man standing, untouched, THEIR team and nation etc would be the winner, and the desired,required outcome, be it territorial, technological or whatever would be fulfilled. Well, how's about that eh! Whot! Beats the mess,the destruction,the horrors, the caracsses of the populations,the destruction that is war! Much better all round isn't it.    But would Kim Jung Un and Trump go for it, or would they and do they prefer............war...of any and all kinds...........think now. But here, Squirrel has provided an easy and painless and much less messy alternative to war. Secret Squirrel, MRL, MP, Dunny On The Wold, Minister For Re-Deranged Re-Engineering.

#Secret Squirrel #paintball #war #paint ball #Kim Jung Un #Donald Trump #nuclear war #Tamagotchi

[parvaatidynasty-blog]

Role-playing games, or RPGs, are a genre steeped in tradition, especially if they’re of the Japanese variety. Nearly 7 years ago, when it was revealed that Final Fantasy XIII lacked towns, there was a noticeable outrage among fans. Ever since games like Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy first propelled the genre into the massive popularity it enjoys today, towns were an integral part of fleshing out a game’s world. Aside from the useful functions they provided in the form of inns and shops, they were often loaded with NPCs who spat out one-liners to give the illusion that the game’s world was alive. But is the ability to immerse one’s self in an RPG’s world truly dependent on the presence of towns? Bravely Default & Bravely Second are two of my favorite RPGs, and games, of all time, yet I wouldn’t say they have particularly engaging or memorable towns. While the games have a very interesting lore behind them, one about a religious war and the other about a devastating plague, the way the game immerses you is by slowly revealing the threads that connect each boss character. With that in mind, maybe it isn’t about towns themselves, but how most RPGs use them, and on a larger scale, the game world itself, in order to convince the player the kingdom, continent, or world they’re saving is truly living-and-breathing.

In 2016, I had the opportunity to play not only some lengthy and well-favored RPGs, but some that were praised for the depth of their game world, particularly Dragon Quest VII and The Legend of Heroes: Cold Steel. While both are entries in series that have been around for a long time, I consider it my first time diving into them with a certain level of awareness (I had played Dragon Quest IX when it released on the DS, but I don’t remember much about the game). Not only do both come from long-running series, but they come from series that are praised for the depth and detail put into their worlds. But despite this similarity, my experiences with each game was completely different. I really liked the tiny details that encompassed Dragon Quest’s world-building, but I found Cold Steel’s relatively boring and uninteresting.

There are a number of reasons this could be. Cold Steel, regardless of being the first entry in a spinoff of Trails in the Sky, may be made for people who have are well-versed or have an investment in the ongoing lore of the games. With hundreds of hours of gameplay preceding Cold Steel in the form of mainline series entries, it just may be an effect of hopping on the train at a later stop. The structure of the game itself may also be at fault; although the episodic academic field trip-like setup fits the context of the game’s narrative, it doesn’t give you a reason to invest in each location. They’re one and done. After you resolve the story arc, the location is more or less irrelevant. These story arcs usually revolve around the different classmates overcoming their differences and becoming a functional military unit, so it may just be Cold Steel is about the relationships between the classmates rather than the world they live in.

But Cold Steel’s world is detailed, just not in a way that rewards the players who devour its history as if it were a real country, and there’s no attempt to make players curious through a “show, don’t tell” design philosophy. Cold Steel is “tell, tell, tell” to the point where some lengthy conversations can dispel your will to play for the remainder of that session. At times, it’s a history book, and while I’m not frightened of history, politics, or economics, there’s just no reason or incentive to remember it. The Nord Highlands chapter is easily the best part of the game: the setting is far different than the other scenarios and some pretty exciting things happen. So while I admire the writers’ decision to think out every last detail of their game’s world, I just don’t find it interesting or purposeful.

Of course, even though I finished Cold Steel, I’m not truly done with it. The game ends with the revelation that it’s only the first half, or third now that Cold Steel 3 has been revealed, of a larger story. It’s possible that when I play Cold Steel 2 and 3, I’ll see the game world become more engaging and interesting. If I can revisit previous locations and see how the actions of the characters and events of the game have affected them, it may just change my mind on the series.

Dragon Quest VII, on the other hand, managed to engage me precisely because it did what Cold Steel didn’t: show me the effects of actions, whether they were my party members’ or NPCs’, and in case anyone here is currently playing or plans to play Dragon Quest VII, I want to mention that I’ll be spoiling some plot events, so if you fall into that group, beware.

Even though the narrative in both games is based on individual vignettes that contribute to a larger narrative, they do so in different ways. Dragon Quest VII has the benefit of having time travel as a plot element, and this makes it quite easy for the game to show you those effects.  Each vignette begins with the party being teleported to a new location, resolving a conflict (most of the time), and returning to the location in the future. While each vignette is related to the overall plot, it isn’t necessary to understand or enjoy it, which is good. Not every vignette is engaging, some are a drag while others are especially memorable. Personally, I loved the Greenthumbs Garden and Vogograd scenarios the most. Vogorad in particular really manages to surprise the player with how the town’s government completely lies about the events that happened in the past, which the player themself witnessed, to prevent the townspeople from feeling guilty. The end result is that you get to see the game world as if it were living and breathing.

The relatively open-world nature of the game is also really conducive to satisfying curiosity. Aside from revisiting towns you saved in the past, you have the opportunity to visit other locations as well. And the game’s relatively lax restrictions on your movement allow you to find some interesting details before you are “meant to.” Keifer’s grave is the most notable example of this. When Keifer leaves the party, I, at least, expected him to rejoin at some point. However, while exploring the continent the Roamer’s resided on, I came across his grave on a cliff. This gave the game’s usually goofy atmosphere a sense of sadness, and the idea that I mistakenly came across something so important and relevant to the characters, not only to my party members’ but also NPCs like Estard’s king, really changed how I felt about Dragon Quest VII.

RPGs are a truly impressive genre. There aren’t many other types of games out there that can keep you engaged in a story from 40 to 80 hours, or even more, with number-crunching gameplay, epic music, and imaginative worlds. The simple mechanics that make up turn-based gameplay have hundreds of applications. It’s these reasons that have me returning to the genre again and again. Having finished writing all of this, all I can think of now is “I really want to play Dragon Quest VIII and Trails in the Sky: Cold Steel 2.”

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#games #mytexts #dragon quest #trails in the sky #rpgs