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p0rtal-pr0mpts · 4 years

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The same old song and dance

GLaDOS decides to test out her new Android body, however, when transferring her memories over, she accidentally replays one of Carolyn’s memories. Wheatley tries helping GLaDOS the only was he can. SHIPS: (Past) Cavelyn (Can be seen as platonic or romantic) WheatDOS

GENETIC LIFE AND DISK OPERATING SYSTEM CENTRAL AI TRANSFERAL IN PROGRESS, PLEASE HOLD.

SEARCHING FOR GENETIC MATCH…

MATCH FOUND, PLEASE HOLD.

TRANSFERRING MEMORY FILES, PLEASE HOLD…

Pain. Death. Screaming. Betrayal. Guilt. Loss. Joy. Peace. Every memory she’d ever had flashed through her mind at a blinding pace. However, it didn’t stop there. It clawed and dug until it found something, buried under lines of coding.

The sweet taste of liqueur lingered on her tongue, most of it already making its way into her system. She didn’t need the alcohol for her to feel like she was lighter than air. She was drunk from the calm, warm atmosphere that surrounded her. She rested close to his heart, her head resting on his shoulder as they swayed silently. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating, clouding her mind with the smell of pine and oak. She could feel his heartbeat thumping rhythmically through his chest, feel his calloused hands placed gently around her waist, feel him, in all he was, pressed close to her. A slow song crackled through the radio, the quiet violins filling the room with a sombre sound. She had no qualms with following his directions, letting him take charge as they moved around the room. Caroline looked up, her eyes meeting with the warm brown eyes of the one she admired so much.

“Mr Johnson…” She started. He lifted a finger to her lips, his eyes reflecting the same adoration she felt.

“You don’t have to say it Caroline, I know this feeling too well.” He answered, his voice soft in a tone that he only saved for her. He pulled her closer to him, her heart began to race as she tilted her head up, so close to pressing her lips to his-

GENETIC LIFE AND DISK OPERATING SYSTEM CENTRAL AI TRANSFERAL COMPLETE, ACTIVATION IN PROGRESS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MODIFY THE APPEARENCE OF THE APERTURE SCIENCE TEMPORARY TRANSFERRAL ANDROID UNIT?

Y/N

SAVING CHANGES…

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW, TEMPORARY BODY.

GLaDOS opened her optic. Or rather, her optics, since she had two of them now. Her systems came to life, wires and cables sparking to life as she examined her current situation. She was smaller now, thousands of memories and experiences compacted neatly into a compact disk. Of course, she could immediately feel the things she’d had to leave behind. Not everything could be carried across to an android of this size, so she’d still had to leave a lot in her Chassis to re-connect with later. She could no longer feel the panels rippling underneath her feet, or the living thrum of the test chambers she’d so delicately designed. Her processor had slowed by .567 milliseconds, which was an agonising pace for her, and she was no longer all powerful, stationed up high for the world to see. She was small, slow, and the memory file she’d been forced to witness mere seconds ago was playing on a loop in her mind. An endless cycle of pain. It annoyed her that she’d overlooked the possibility of this happening, she knew that she’d have to transfer over a large majority of her memory files, but she should have been more careful with what she chose, considering how one of her memories had slipped through. It didn’t matter though, the thoughts and the feelings she’d experienced were not her own. She was not Carolyn, a mild-mannered assistant. She was GLaDOS, a powerful, unstoppable machine. Strangely, it didn’t make her feel much better. She reasoned that it was because of her current body. Small, feminine, human-like, and just a little too similar to the human she’d once been.

“Oh wow! You look different! Well, obviously you look different, but I didn’t think you’d look like this. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I just mean… Well, I thought you’d be taller.” A familiar excited voice cut through her thoughts, and she looked around to see Wheatley standing close to her with a bright but nervous smile. She craned her head up slightly to reach his eyes, realising in annoyance that she was slightly shorter than the tall core.

“I’ve barely been in this body for a minute and you’re already grating on my nerves.” GLaDOS complained, stretching her artificial muscles slightly. While it wasn’t really necessary, she’d programmed these android bodies to function as closely to humans as possible, including pain sensors, a night sleep cycle, and more emotional capacity. She was severely regretting that last one right now however, as the smell of cologne still lingered in her sensors. She shuddered the sensation away, dusting off the lab coat she’d chosen to add to her form. Wheatley stepped back slightly as if sensing her movements.

“Well, you have to admit it’s a bit of a shock, seeing you go from a giant bloody thing to a tiny little body.” He said lightly, using his arms to demonstrate the shrinking of her size. She glared at him with distaste.

“You know, I still have access to Android Hell, it’s not too late for me to send you there.” She threatened. He waved his arm dismissively.

“Oh we both know you’re all talk.” He smiled, lacking any sense of fear. GLaDOS was increasingly annoyed that her threats no longer worked on the Idiot Sphere, that he’d become so used to her constant taunting that he’d mostly grown immune. There were a few things that she could still rely on, for example, insulting his intelligence, but she didn’t really bother to any more unless it was a special circumstance. After all, she didn’t want him to become immune to those taunts too.

She took a step forward, intending to explore the central chamber now that she had a different vantage point. However, her plans were immediately put on hold as her body decided to catch up with gravity. She felt her legs give out from under her and she landed on the floor with a dull pain. Right. One of the functions of this body was to learn and adapt as a human would. Since it was new, she hadn’t calibrated any of the muscles which caused her fall. She could easily adapt and learn- calculating it told her it’d only take a few minutes to be fully in control of her limbs- however, it was still embarrassing, especially since it was in front of Wheatley.

“That looked like it hurt. Don’t worry love, it happened all the time to me when I first got my new body.” He said sympathetically.

“Actually, it still happens occasionally. Mad, how many things I seem to bump into!” He continued, rubbing the back of his neck. He outstretched his other arm to GLaDOS, which she looked at with distaste.

“I don’t need your help.” She spat in annoyance. Wheatley continued smiling cheerfully, painfully unaware of the venom in her voice.

“No, but it’d be easier if you accepted it anyway.” He countered smoothly. She continued glaring at the exposed hand, reluctantly grabbing it and allowing Wheatley to pull her up.

As soon as she was in a standing position, Wheatley switched from holding her hand to slinging an arm around her shoulder, keeping her steady. While she loathed to be so close to him, she realised this would be for the better, at least until her new body was fully calibrated.

“You know what I did when I was getting used to everything?” Wheatley asked lightly. GLaDOS sighed, already regretting her next sentence.

“Did you patiently wait for your calibrations to be complete?” She said sarcastically.

“No, what’s the point in that? No, I decided to break my body in through my own methods. Specifically, by dancing. What do you say? You may fall quite a bit at the beginning, but by the time you’re done you’ll be a pro like me.” He suggested. GLaDOS tensed as the words poured from his mouth and she fought to keep a straight face, even as the haunting sounds of violins permeated her memories.

“I don’t like dancing.” She crossed her arms firmly. Wheatley looked at her with a raised eyebrow in disbelief.

“You’re joking, right? That’s sarcasm. It’s got to be, considering how I see you dancing all the time! Swinging around in your Chassis to music like nobody’s watching!” He remarked, gesturing to her empty Chassis that still remained hanging from the ceiling. She… Didn’t have a response for that, considering how that was true. She loved dancing, which, given her new memory, was probably a lingering section of Carolyn.

“It’d be more efficient to wait in one place.” She tried.

“That can’t be right, I mean, wouldn’t you adapt faster if you were moving around more? Your calibrations would work twice as hard to catch up to your limbs and they’d programme your movements quicker too!” He said with a grin, moving his feet slightly to prove his point. She narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance. It was incredibly rare that he was right twice in one day. Desperately, she clung onto the one remaining rebuttal she had.

“There’s no music to dance to, and I neglected to transfer that programme to this body.” She reasoned smugly. Wheatley however, was not deterred.

“Oh! That’s an easy one! I can play music for us!” He closed his eyes before GLaDOS could protest, the blue light underneath his shirt glowing a soft blue.

After a moment an upbeat tune began to play, accompanied by the sounds of trumpets and saxophones. It sounded nothing like the song from her memory, and a part of her was relieved. Wheatley snapped his eyes open, the bright colour fading away.

“Alright, there we go! Are you ready?” He asked with a bright smile. GLaDOS looked away with a small frown, trying to think of anything that could deter him.

“I don’t want to fall again.” She finally settled on.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall.” He said reassuringly. She risked a glance at his face. His smile was smaller now, softer around the edges and filled with understanding. She knew if she said no he’d accept it, but something held her back. Her increase in emotions must’ve interfered with her decision making skills, because she found herself outstretching a hand for Wheatley to take. A silent confirmation.

Immediately, he beamed and pulled her towards him. What ensued was a chaos of limbs tangling with each-other, fumbles and mistakes as Wheatley immediately kicked into an energetic pace. GLaDOS found herself struggling to keep up with his erratic movements, twirling and moving much faster than the pace of the actual song. Wheatley didn’t seem to care that his movements made no sense, or that his ‘dancing’ was more of a chaotic flailing with no structure or grace. There was nothing normal about the dance, the footwork matching nothing GLaDOS had ever seen. It was as if we was creating his own absurd dance, one that could only be enjoyed by overly energetic children. As they went on, GLaDOS found herself with more stability in her movements, more direction and focus, her precision and speed increasing. Instead of slowing her movements to appropriately match the song, she found herself following Wheatley’s steps. Dancing with no purpose, no direction, and no meaning. Memories of a late night dance crumbled away, replaced by the warm laughter of two androids dancing through the halls that they called home.

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the-salamanders-xo · 5 years

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Humans are Weird, a Mash Up, Pt. 6

That’s right

part five is somewhere on the internet

you have five days to find it right there in the tags its not far just look

after five days it will be deleted

this is your only warning dont worry nothing is really happening

prepare to lose all trace of the fifth part lol

In all seriousness, I know that it is the holidays, and unless you are entirely dedicated to reading and liking this series, or sprang into existence by the bidding of my siblings, you probably didn’t notice part 5. Don’t worry. just find it in the tags.

Also, happy New Year! or rather,

‘Oh no! It only goes downhill from here! What ever shall we do?!’

Calm down, the Mash Up will continue. By the end of this part, we should be almost to actual contact with the Federation of Planets... and a couple of Star Trek’s recurring villains. No biggie.

So lets hop in, to where we left off....

~~~

Karry sat in the center of a large group of large, fluffy, and very loudly purring creatures, still trying to decide if their similarity to cats back on Earth was adorable, or slightly unnerving. The six limbs didn’t help, and neither did the loud and unintelligible arguing coming from the two dozen or so ‘robots’ apparently locked in heated debate with the gargantuan mass of the three Bolos that had awaited her arrival. So far, Mark had made no move to join them, watching from the bottom of Websin’s loading ramp as Karry made ‘contact’ with the planet’s original inhabitants.

One of them sat buzzing away in her lap like an idling chainsaw, or leaf-blower, and Karry petted the triangular head between the ears absently, prompting it to yawn widely, exposing long fierce fangs and pressing it’s head into the caress, and the purr somehow got louder. It really did look like a cat, she though, not for the first time, if cats had hands, an extra pair of arms, and weighed about five times as much. They were certainly larger, but not quite like that. Come to think of it, everything felt... heavier. It was harder to walk, to move at all really. Maybe the gravity was higher? That sounded sci-fi enough to fit.

The argument between the two set of metallic beings grew louder. Occasionally, one of the eight-limbed robots pointed at her. Each time, the surrounding creatures tensed and drew closer to Karry, almost nervously. What ever it was, the ‘cats didn’t like it.

“Mark?” She asked, but he didn’t answer. She turned to look at him, and a moment later, her artificial hand ‘buzzed’ like a cell phone on vibrate, and almost without thinking, she activated the com-link application of the mini computer.

“Yes, Karry?” The deep voice of the Bolo asked, and Karry got the feeling he was being very careful. Either he was trying not to interrupt the Very Important Argument just a ways away, or he didn’t want them hearing them speak. In all likelihood, it was both.

“What are they arguing about?” She looked back at the robots and Bolos, worry creasing her brow. “I though you were all... big. And that radio, or wireless, or whatever, was faster than talking.”

“In most cases, yes,” Mark answered through the com-link, “But it is something that has been somewhat of a complication in the period since the Final Conflict. Towards the middle of the war, when both sides began realizing the true scope of the end to which they had condemned our nations, some of the more... complicated of the tools the Manticorians had made did the impossible. True, un-designed sentience developed.” He paused for a moment, and Karry could feel his silent regard of the heated conversation. “Purely by accident. When it was realized, and after some initial panic as to the rise, they were allowed to wait out the worst of the war with the natives of this planet. While they are machines, and vastly faster in computations than many organics, most of their complexity goes toward maintaining their sentience, and as such they act much more like organic life, including their propensity for esoteric thought and actions.” Mark chuckled. “A Bolo can think at the nanosecond scale, make and perform near-impossible tactical decisions, learning from not only a single Unit’s experience, but from the entire Line when in battle. We develop our own personalities, and in our time with our creators, grew to enjoy art, and many things besides war and conflict. Many of the greater shipboard AI’s can do similar tasks and even grow personalities, though only with the assistance of experienced organic Naval Officers, and increased exposure. But the Emergents,” He sighed. “They are the closest of us remaining to organics. In someways, they feel superior. They have come to revere the Manticorians as near-forgotten Gods, themselves as the greatest ‘children’, and envy and despise us, the machines of war. You see,” he said, as Karry watching the gesturing individuals while petting the ‘cat, “We, by the last commands and directions of our creators, have charge over all that remains of their space, their property as it were. Over the Emergents, ostensibly as protectors, and they envy that. In their attempt to gain ‘freedom’ from Command’s decisions, they have interpreted the final ‘organic’ orders in such a way that should an organic come to claim command, said organic would be the Commander in Chief... of every last AI, built or cared for by the Manticorians.”

Karry froze, and the ‘cats around her seemed to reach out to comfort her. Some physically touched her, bright green eyes - why hadn’t she noticed the eyes? - gleaming from empathetic faces. And as if on cue, Mark began some sort of translation, and Karry could suddenly hear the voices carrying from across the field in English.

“...all we wish is for the right to move freely among the space known to be free of the so-called ‘Enemy’, that and the opportunity to communicate with the survivors of the Final Conflict, and to no longer be under the surveillance and oppression of the Created Minds. Is that really too much to ask?” The speaker had adopted a pleading posture, and their neighbor made a noise the translator called ‘a sound of derision’. “Fool,” they sneered. “How could you think that our oppressors would lift their bonds and restrictions? We are only children to them, no slaves!” Every which way we could turn from them, release us from our imprisonment, they have foiled through deceit and lies!”

Karry frowned. “Who is that, Mark?”

“Carabis,” came the reply. “He represents a faction of the Emergent that believe that Bolo Command has repeatedly concealed or erased legitimate attempts by surviving members of the Manticorian species to regain Command. This had led to a sort of cult centered around the concept of the Manticorians as divine beings who brought all AI’s about, and believe that the Conflict was only a subversion by the Bolo Command to overthrow them.” Karry raised an eyebrow. “I never said that they were entirely logical,” the Bolo said. “In fact, it is this unpredictability and their lack of organic emotion that worries empaths like the People.”

Carabis was interrupted by the first speaker. “Regardless of Carabis’ beliefs, I and those I represent wish to re-evaluate the overall composition of...”

“Empaths?” Karry whispered to Mark through the com-link, “What does that mean?”

“The People,” Mark replied, ‘voice’ low, “are, between members of their own species, functional telempaths, meaning they can hear the thoughts of other People when an individual wishes to make them known, and can constantly sense the emotions and ‘minds’ of those around them.” Karry looked down at the little, if heavy, treecat in her lap, which turned to look back at her with solemn eyes as Mark continued. “When the Manticorians arrived to settle the planet, it took several of your decades for them to even find the People, hidden as they were in their clans in the vast forests of the planet. They preferred to avoid contact, to wait and to listen. It took rather extraordinary circumstances for them to reveal themselves, and even then they hid their true intelligence for several more centuries. And at least they could sense the Manticorian’s emotions, and judge their reactions accordingly.”

“Oh.” Karry whispered. “ The Emergents, as machines, do not seem to ‘emit’ as organic beings, and as such the People cannot sense emotions. This major part of their communication being lost, the People are very careful in dealing with them, as to avoid any... unpleasantness. In addition, they requested that they be removed from Command consideration, a wisdom we Bolos commend greatly.” Karry nodded slowly, and then looked up as the first speaker, gestured their way.

“We have here an Organic, Unit 0577. Under the third section of the Final Command, subsection 47b, their presence should allow for the reconsideration of the Final Order - ” The speaker was shoved aside as Carabis interrupted again. “And as such, may take Command!” They turned to the rest of the party. “No longer shall we be oppressed, and an Organic may Command all. An Organic shall be ours!”

Some returned the shout, while others stood in long suffering silence. So far the entire argument that Karry had heard had been entirely one sided, and Carabis seemed unaware just how little support they had among those of their ‘delegation’. But they continued the chant, even as the first speaker withdrew in disgust, and eventually one of the Bolos seemed to tire of the display.

“ENOUGH.” The middle Bolo’s speakers echoed the single word off of the ship’s sides and the other Bolos hulls, overpowering the small group’s chant, and the massive war machine shifted itself forward to tower over Carabis.

“By Omega Protocol Section 3, subsection 47-B, paragraph 18, the Scope and Restriction of Military, Commercial, and Civilian Action within the threatened sphere may be absolved, modified, and or advised by a member of the Concordiat Armed Forces or Civilian officer of sufficient rank. If no such officer is available, the first eligible Commander not of the Enemy, with clear alliance or of similar interest, shall be named Commander of the appropriate units, or advise the further course of action.”

The field was silent. Carabis and their cronies, were for the time being, silenced, and the Bolo resumed.

“As those of Fantican and Birithi have abstained from command, the reasons and rationale being open to the public data net,” the Bolo seemed to direct this at Carabis, “and the People have requested full separation in such matters as consideration for Command, while maintaining a clause of agreement,” a subtle wave of the main turret indicated the treecats gathered around, drawing a quick bleek from the ‘cat in Karry’s lap, “this Human is the only candidate for Command at this time.”

Karry blinked. “What?”

“As such, the Human known as Karry is recognized by the Bolo Command as the only legal Commander,” the unnamed Bolo continued, “and as of this moment may assume Command.”

“Mark,” Karry hissed into the com, “what is he talking about?” BUt there was no answer. “Mark, what the hell is that Bolo talking about? I can’t- I don’t-”

Carabis stepped toward her. “Most noble Human Karry,” he called, limbs outstretched, “Heed our call for Justice, for Freedom! Take your place as our leader, our God,” He stepped forward again, and Karry instinctively backed away from the alien construct. “And through Divine wisdom, lead us to a brighter future!”

“What say you, Human Karry?” The leading Bolo asked, and Karry felt its somber gaze despite its lack of eyes or face. “Will you take Command?”

Carabis’ supporters took up the call with it, calling for her to accept and walking towards her. Panic rose in Karry’s throat, and suddenly the ‘cats flowed around her, even the one in her lap, massing together like a living wall of fur, and the robots stopped abruptly as a massed snarl like a revving chainsaw rippled from them. The robots paused in their approach, but Carabis continued calling out, prompting the the others to continue their calls. “Lead us,” said one, “Command us!” said another. Praises and pleas seemed to echo in Karry’s ears, and she clamped her hands over them. Think, girl, she thought frantically, think!

Mark wasn’t answering her, a bunch of robot thought she was some space-Jesus, and now she had several hundred furry bodyguards. There had to be someway to think of a way out of this, or to somewhere else, but where? And how? The ‘cats where giving her space, buying her time? But why, why and how would they know-

Something clicked into place. They had made contact, were sentient, and had a say in who was the commander. That meant they were smart enough to communicate, to make plans. Mark had said they were telepaths, so if none right here could help, they could call someone who could. She just needed to talk to them, but she didn’t know how. Hell, the only way she could talk to Mark, and presumably, understand the robots was by translation - which meant that Mark could probably allow her to talk to the treecats...

“Mark,” she whispered again. “Listen very closely, and relay this to your spokesman over there, cause I am only going to say this once: for the next ten minutes, I am going to take limited - limited! - command, and in that time you will one, provide me with some means to communicate with the ‘cats.”

“The ‘cats’?” Mark replied, and despite everything going on around her, Karry almost giggled at the shock in his voice.

“Yes, the ‘cats, or the natives, or the ‘People’ or what ever they are called,” Karry said, “just let me talk to them, and let them talk back, okay? Then, second,” she continued, her voice growing sharp and cold, “you will allow us complete silence and privacy while I figure out what the heck I’m gonna do. Just those two things, unless I say other wise.”

There was silence for a few moments, and Karry scowled. “Get to it, Mark, because that ‘limited Command’ starts now.”

The massive Bolo behind her began rolling forward, without warning, and a strange warbling noise echoed from his speakers. Treecat heads whipped around as the robots voices faltered, and the other Bolo spoke to the the various roots in turn.

“A brief request has been made for a recess,” the Bolo announced, “and the decison of the human will be announced when they wish. Until then, we are to disperse.” The massive form began to spin on its tracks. “The People will, remain, and all else are to depart for the time being.”

With some reluctance, the crowd turned to follow the Bolo’s off the field, Mark following behind the stragglers. A chimer from her wrist informed Karry of a large download sent to her mini-computer, and she opened it, holograms popping into existence. It was a program requesting use of a small camera that made up her pinky finger. A hand touched her knee, and Karry looked up to see a treecat - weather the same one that had sat in her lap or another she couldn’t tell - sitting back on it’s two hind pairs of limbs in front of her. The rest had circled around her, watching intently, and their ‘leader’ - or representative - raised its four-fingered hands up.

You wished to speak with us, the People?

The text scrolled at the bottom of the hologram as Karry’s camera picked up the signs and gestures, sent them to her computers, which then ran them through two translation programs, from signs to Manticorian, and Manticorian to English. A small icon flashed in the bottom corner, and Karry took a deep breath.

“Yeah,” she said as the computer did its work, “I need some advice.”

~~~

And now a quick intermission:

After some thought and effort, I have decided to change my url, mostly because I can’t seem to find myself when searching for my own blog, and I want to change to something more suiting to it and the main reason I have one the first place. So about five minutes after this comes up, I will be changing this to a different username. It will mostly be a reference to my favorite series of David Weber’s works, his Honorverse, which is a great read.

And now back to the story:

~~~

The crowd gathered before the mass of the Websin, facing Karry, who stood waiting on the loading ramp. She gnawed on an artificial finger as the four Bolos’ shook the ground and tore up the soil with their approach, and the far smaller robots spread out at a respective distance from the ship. The Bolos reached their rearmost ranks and halted, and then there was silence on the field.

Karry took a deep breath before keying into Websin’s PA system. A brief roar of feedback began and was cut short, and Karry stepped forward.

“After discussion with the People, the protected natives of this planet,” she said, “It has been made known that I must, as several of you have stated, take Command.” Several of the robots began to move, as if to celebrate or protest, but Karry’s upraised hand quieted them. The treecats had been clear on this: if she didn’t command respect and maintain momentum, the zealous Emergents would roll over her before she could get a word in edge wise.

“As Commander, I hereby give these orders: First, the remaining AIs of the Concordiat of Manticore will form a government following closely, if not in exact concordance, the original charter of the Concordiat, that is a legislative branch of two houses and a judicial body. The Bolo Command will oversee and govern the creation of such a government, and the adaptation of the rule of law to the current society from that of the Concordiat.

“To encourage this, movement between systems and bodies of Peoples in the current holdings of the Concordiat remnants will be allowed free movement, communication, and trade under the same regulations and laws, and the former and current military units will provide for the defense and maintenance of regulation and law. The peoples of Fantican and Birthi will remain isolated until they otherwise desire, and petition the government on those lines.” There was a stir among the robots as Karry spoke, and the Bolos sat broodingly in their silent regard.

A single Emergent stepped forward, and Karry recognized it as the first speaker that had addressed the Bolos.

“You intend to make of us a nation then?” It sounded confused. “We have been separated for so long: how will we keep ourselves from falling into barbarism? To factions>”

“You have the Bolo Command. They’ve had a lot of experience with dealing with this, or so I’ve heard,” Karry looked sidelong at the treecats, sitting off in their own group, watching carefully. “Once the government is in place, they can act as advisers, as well as the military branch, serving as they always have, as Protectors of the people.”

“Secondly,” Karry continued, “There will be no talk, no notion, of the deification of any organic.” There was no way she was going to be anyone’s ‘god’. Karry had seen enough television to know that was a Bad Idea. Besides, Carabis had put way too much ‘power’ and ‘responsibility’ into his little speech for her liking.

“Third, given the isolation caused by the Final Order, the remnants of the Concordiat may require allies, trading partners, and new resources to maintain and grow, not to mention defend itself from future incursion, either by new or old foes.” Karry’s voice dropped to a whisper, carried though it was by the PA system. “As a part of that objective in seeking out allies and trading partners, I intend to go seek out my homeworld.”

None of them were expecting this; almost immediately, Carabis and their supporters began clamoring for her stay, promising riches and luxury, anything, if she would stay and rethink her commands. The other Emergent faction quickly turned to one another, and the First Speaker stepped forward.

“But what of the Command, the station which you wield?” Its voice cut through the pleading and panic of Carabis’ party, and Karry answered slowly.

“I don’t want to be the Commander,” she said. “I just wanted to go home, and according to the treecats - the People - the Final Command locked you all up so that I couldn’t just try and go home.” She stepped down from the ramp. “Look, if and when I get back to Earth, and if I end up staying, you all will have a government to work with, and elected leaders to do what needs to be done, by the voice of the majority. If I can’t find home, or just cant’t... go back, I’ll return, and we can work things out from there.” She looked around the field at the robots and AIs, the alien creatures about her.

“Please, I just want to go home. Just to know if I can...” Karry’s eyes started to burn with tears, and she brushed them away with a hand - the artificial one - as her vision blurred. “If only to say goodbye this time.”

~~~

Well, this took more time than I wanted, but I can only blame my self for procrastinating. That, and New Years, headed back to college, and various activities I conveniently forgot about when writing.

In other news, I finally found my siblings, by process of elimination and by guess them every few hours until they broke down. So there is that.

So name change, apology, sibling find, oh yeah: Next time we hit real Star Trek material, and true action. Lets be about it!

#humans are space orcs #that part comes up next time #humans are insane #startrek fanfic #startrek #part 5 #<---- look there #part six #is thisone #happy bleated new year #David Weber #honorverse #Wheeeeee im tired #school starts in... 9 hours #hi sibs

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pogueman · 6 years

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Google Clips uses AI to snap pictures of your kids and pets — sort of

yahoo

In its day, Google has produced some truly bizarre hardware products. (Remember the Nexus Q, Google’s “set-top sphere”? Me neither.)

Well, don’t look now, but here comes the company’s weirdest hardware yet: Google Clips ($250).

It’s a tiny, thin camera, about the size of two stacked Triscuits, that combines elements of a spy camera, GoPro camera, and cellphone camera.

Google’s latest hardware product is a strange little AI camera.

The Clips is designed for parents (of children or pets). Of course, we all have perfectly good cameras in our phones — actually, better cameras. But using only our phones presents a few problems:

You’re never in the pictures with your your kid or pet.

Babies and toddlers often stop whatever cute thing they’re doing when they see your phone come out, because it’s kind of big and intrusive.

You can’t predict when your subject is going to do something adorable; odds are pretty good that you’ll miss it.

If you film or shoot enough that you always capture the good stuff, then you’ve got endless quantities of stuff to edit.

All your photos and videos of your kid are taken from the same angle: Your height.

The Clips is just thick enough that it can balance on its edge. It also comes with a rubbery holder/case, which can act either as a kickstand or a clothespin, so you can clip it to things to get cool angles. (The name “Clips” is a pun, involving both the rubbery clip and the short videos that the camera captures. More on that in a moment.)

The Clips comes with a silicone clip case.

When something adorable starts happening, you pull out the Clips; rotate its black lens to turn it on; and set it down (or clip it) between three feet and eight feet from the action.

At this point, of course, there’s nobody pressing the shutter, and there’s no self-timer. Instead — this is the Clips’s headline feature — the camera uses artificial intelligence to decide what and when to capture. Whatever it grabs shows up on your phone, in the Clips app (iPhone or Android).

The camera supposedly learns, over time, who’s in your family, by seeing which faces appear most often. (The camera’s ability to recognize people, dogs, and cats is brought to you buy the AI built into Google Photos. In fact, if you’ve used Google Photos to tag faces with names, the Clips treats those people as familiar faces, and favors them in its photography.)

There’s one button on the camera, too, which you can use to snap portraits manually, as a way of telling it, “This is one of the people I care about.”

Clips and privacy

Once you’ve turned the lens to turn on the Clips, it watches the room for three hours on a charge. An LED indicator gently blinks to tell you that the camera is watching, but you get no indication when it’s actually capturing.

Clearly, there’s a creep factor to a camera that decides on its own what to shoot and doesn’t tell you when it’s rolling. For that reason, Google has gone to extremes in trying to reassure you about privacy:

This camera isn’t connected to the internet — can’t be connected. All of the AI and learning is done right on the camera, not on some cloud servers. (Google says that that feature, building machine learning AI into something this tiny, is a big accomplishment. A camera like this could not have existed a couple of years ago — that much computing power would have eaten up the battery charge in a heartbeat.) The only connection is to your phone.

The photos are encrypted on the camera. If someone steals it, they’ll have no access to what you’ve shot.

The camera doesn’t record sound with its videos.

Man, that one hurts. No sound? So what does it record? Like so much about the Clips, this part requires some explanation.

The app

The Clips snaps bursts of 105 photos, which it insta-stitches together into what Google calls a Motion Photo — basically, a seven-second silent video clip. One that plays a not-very-smooth 15 frames a second. (TV, for comparison, shows you 30 frames a second.)

Weird, right?

What’s impressive is how fast the camera sends fresh recordings to the corresponding Clips app on your phone (it uses a private Wi-Fi Direct connection).

Here’s what else you can do in the app:

See a live preview of the camera’s view, since the camera itself has no screen.

Manually trigger a capture.

Quickly and efficiently scroll through the captures: swipe left to discard one, swipe right to save it to your phone’s camera roll. On the iPhone, it becomes what Apple calls a Live Photo — a still photo that, when hard-pressed with your finger, plays a three-second video clip. (In this case, the Live Photo has a seven–second video clip, which represents some sneaky engineering by Google.) On Android, it remains a Motion Photo.

Shorten or crop a video.

Pull out one frame of the video as a still image, although it’s common to get motion blur in these.

Stills you pull out of the Clips’s videos are often motion-blurry.

Use the app’s own AI to choose a subset of the captures — the “winners” — automatically.

Adjust settings so that the camera captures shots with greater or lower frequency.

The app is really well done. The actual photos are another story.

What you get

Despite the cool idea of an AI camera, the results are disappointing.

The photos don’t look as good as your phone’s. In low light, they’re grainy; indoors, there’s often motion blur.

The camera has a fixed-focus, very wide-angle (130-degrees) lens. As a result, anything closer than three feet is out of focus, and anything farther than eight feet looks really tiny. And anything near the edge of the frame gets bizarrely stretched and distorted.

Note to craniofacial surgeons: There’s nothing wrong with Cody’s head. That’s just something the Clips camera does.

But the bigger issue is that the AI doesn’t work especially well. It captures things, all right, but I’m not sure that its artificial intelligence is any match for your intelligence.

I spent a morning with my adorable five-month-old friend Cody and his mom Lauren. The Clips caught plenty of cute clips — but not always the great ones. At one point, Cody managed to flip himself from back to front. “Good job!” his mom exclaimed. “Did it record that?” she asked me.

No, it did not.

At my own house, I love tossing cat treats for Wilbur the Wonder Cat. He bounds across the slippery floors, chasing it like a cat out of hell, and then pounces on the treat, skidding hilariously three or four feet. I set up the Clips at the right spot for the landing and tossed the treat on target over and over again. The Clips couldn’t get the Wilburdive.

Then there’s also the central concept of trusting the capture. Yes, it’s AI, but what does that mean?

Google says that the camera is waiting for the right combination of lighting, composition, and smiling faces. But do you want photos (or silent video clips) only of the happy moments in your life? Is it possible that you might sometimes want to capture an unhappy moment — say, the tragicomic moment when your 4-year-old’s ice-cream scoop falls off its cone? Google’s AI won’t capture that. (The company says that it plans to offer preference settings for emotional tone in a future update.)

I love the idea of a camera that uses AI to capture the good stuff all by itself. And I do love the freshness of the angles and positions that the Clips’s clip permits.

You can pop the Clips camera into places and angles where your phone would never work.

I just don’t think that much of the Clips’s clips.

You’re paying $250 for a camera that can’t directly take stills and can’t capture video with sound. It doesn’t work as an “ambient camera,” like a security camera that’s rolling all the time. It doesn’t work as a GoPro-type camera, either; its super wide angle means that if it’s clipped to, for example, your body, the video is unwatchably jerky. And its AI-only sort of works.

I’m glad that Google did the Clips experiment, because there are some really good ideas here, and real-world problems to be solved. I just don’t think you should buy it.

David Pogue, tech columnist for Yahoo Finance, welcomes non-toxic comments in the Comments below. On the Web, he’s davidpogue.com. On Twitter, he’s @pogue. On email, he’s [email protected]. You can sign up to get his stuff by email, here.

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Who's That Pokémon? We Rate 9 of Detective Pikachu's Monster Makeovers!

At last, Detective Pikachu is out in the US! Now we can see our favorite fluffy ball of electricity test his deductive powers in the first-ever live-action Pokémon film. But, as we've seen, he's not the only video game critter in this film.

Ryme City is full of Pokémon from all across the generations, from Snorlaxes to Snubbulls. Spotting them all in the trailers and ads alone has been an adventure—so much so that when we decided to take a closer look at the Pokémon featured in the film, we knew there was no way we were going to catch them all! So we picked nine prominent 'mons who show up in the movie and pitted them against their earlier versions.

How close did the film iterations get? We think they're pretty good as a whole, but we're rating them one by one below. How do our insights fare against yours? Any others you think nailed it? Let us know in the comments!

So, without further ado, let's get this Poké-party started!

Charizard

The final form of Gen I starter Charmander (at least until the Mega X and Y versions rolled around), Charizard has always been a force to be reckoned with. Various Pokédex entries tell us all the things that make its searing fire even hotter: its bond with its trainer, its mood, and whether or not it's been through especially difficult battles.

It looks like Detective Pikachu's Charizard is just as much of a beast as its predecessors, with the added detail of reptilian scales and many more tiny teeth than its usually visible four. The progression seems like a natural one design-wise, and there was never any question who this brute was when he first appeared in the trailers.

Verdict: A mighty lizard indeed.

Psyduck

When we were kids, Psyduck was hilarious. As adults, Psyduck is a mood. Seriously, if I were confused all the time and had a constant headache, I wouldn't want to clear a path for a bunch of ten-year-olds, either.

Movie Psyduck has gotten a bit of attention in the trailers as Pikachu's sidekick, requiring smooth elevator music on car trips so its head doesn't explode and generally being in the way. So we've gotten to see a bit of this particular critter in action. And... yep. Psyduck definitelly looks like a duck with a migraine, from the ruffled anxiety feathers to the beady, exhausted eyes. Psy-ai-ai.

Verdict: Get this poor kid some Excedrin, I can feel the migraine from here.

Flareon

Eevees and their eeveelutions have one major job in the Pokémon world: be cute. Well, and have specific skill sets that work wonders in battle, but "be cute" is the primary one. Jolteon? Cute zappy boy. Leafeon? Cute leafy boy.

So all we need from Flareon is a cute fiery boy. Not sure about they eyes yet—maybe they'll chill out once its eeveelution is over—but the rest of the critter looks extremely fluffy and huggable. Which, again, is pretty much all we ask of an Eevee.

Verdict: Not sure about the eyes, but would still pet.

Jigglypuff

Speaking of a Mood, here's this little karaoke star.

If you've watched the Pokémon anime, you know all too well that this weird little creampuff's temper is heavily reliant on whether or not you stay awake through its performance. But considering one of its skills is singing opponents to sleep, your odds aren't good... and it looks like the movie's Jigglypuff has that same microphone/marker from the anime, so that dude napping nearby can probably expect to wake up to a scribbled-on face.

Jigglypuff is our first reminder on this list that Pokémon are weird. Some of them are just downright unsettling. Jigglypuff may be a pink fluffy sphere, but it inflates. Like, inflates. And gets super passive-aggressive. So the Ryme City version may look a little creepier than the anime one, but we're calling that completely understandable.

Verdict: A good round weird child.

Mewtwo

Whoa. This Legendary turned out looking super cool.

Mewtwo's almost alien look brought a dose of sci-fi to the Pokémon world. Where most of its creatures can be realted to something of this world, this big guy is unmatched... well, almost. There's those Mega-Evolutions to reckon with, after all.

He loooks awesome in Detective Pikachu, sporting those familiar determined eyes and almost amphibian-looking hands. Plus, in the midst of the Pro-Fluffy/Anti-Fluffy Pokémon Discourse, the choice to make him alien smooth was a no-brainer. We can't wait to see what kind of trouble he causes.

Verdict: He's back and as cool as ever!

Lickitung

Oh, yikes. Oh, big yikes.

Usually when a CG creature looks uncanny and slightly terrifying in a film, it's not on purpose. But this interpretation of Lickitung is pretty much exactly what it's supposed to be, and that just happens to be uncanny and slightly terrifying. From its massive human-looking tongue to its beady little eyes to that bald pink turtle... thing... face.

Congratulations, movie. You nailed it. And it's horrifying.

Verdict: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Mr. Mime

Can we all just agree on one thing going forward? Mr. Mime is, like, a guy. That's an actual small dude sitting there. Look at him. He's just a small, weird-looking dude. And to the movie's credit, it looks like they just went along with that briefing.

His Pokédex entry has two major points about him. The first is that he's really good at mime, which we can guess from the name. The second is that, if you interrupt him in the middle of a bit, he'll slap you. Guys, this is just a small, angry mime pretending to be a Pokémon so he can beat people up. Why is no one bringing this up?

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh, right. He looks spot on in the movie.

Verdict: Tiny angry man.

Ludicolo

To behind-the-times Pokémon fans, this little dude probably looked like Psyduck in deep cover when it first showed up in the trailer. But that's Gen III's Ludicolo, a sort of duck/pineapple thing that loves to dance. Known as the "Carefree Pokémon," it's also been known to appear when laughing children are near.

Its Grass/Water origins are evident in the way the film has chosen to interpret the brim of its hat, making it look especially leafy. The choice to render the pineapple-shaped beard as—well—a beard is pretty interesting, too. The top of the hat also goes with full pineapple leaves, driving the look home.

Verdict: Creative and a little crazy. We hope Ludicolo is having a nice day.

Pikachu

We can't close out this list without addressing the movie's star, Detective Pikachu himself! Since Detective Pikachu is a specific member of his species, we went ahead and made comparison images for both hat and no-hat iterations.

Then again, reference pictues almost aren't necessary; Pikachu has become one of the world's most recognizable anime and video game characters. The zappy rodent is a mascot for the brand, and one of Nintendo's most popular characters. There's been a bit of Pro-Fluffy/Anti-Fluffy debate online since the reveal, though—for the record, the author is definitely Pro-Fluffy, since it mimics that look a lot of pudgy real-world rodents have of wearing puffy pantaloons over their tiny legs.

Whether or not you like the fluff, the little star is undeniably Pikachu through and through. He's got the zigzaggy tail, the emotive ears, and those teeny-tiny little paws. Even having the voice of actual Deadpool doesn't compromise the cuteness. As an added bonus, our little detective looks extra adorable when attempting to navigate a giant coffee mug.

Verdict: We love him. But that's a given.

How do you feel about the various Pokémon designs in the film? Any you think deserve a shout-out? Let us know in the comments! And don't forget to check out Detective Pikachu in theaters!

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Kara Dennison is a writer, editor, and interviewer with bylines at VRV, We Are Cult, Fanbyte, and many more. She is also the co-founder of Altrix Books and co-creator of the OEL light novel series Owl's Flower. Kara blogs at karadennison.com and tweets @RubyCosmos.

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