#either the doctor explained it poorly or my parents explained it poorly or my parents didnt quite understand what they were being told and e | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catboybiologist · 1 month

Note

Hi I'm a former high school science teacher and now a doctor. While teaching, I was officially advised to explain that current understanding of gender is that it is complex and that sex is not necessarily the same as gender. I also got told not to mention intersex people outside of explaining that they exist, because tbh 14 year olds need to understand the normal stuff first.

I can also confirm that during medical school I was officially taught that "we refer to patients as male or female because man and woman are complex terms that do not adequately describe our patient population". We also did not use the term intersex at all, we generally referred to either "sex variants" or (in newborns/paediatric patients) we would refer to "disorders of" or "differences of sexual development" (DSDs).

There's not a hard and fast difference between "disorder" of sexual development or "difference", but generally it got called a disorder if it mandated surgical correction (e.g. vaginal agenesis, cloacal exstrophy, severe hypospadias, urethral atresia etc). If you didn't have to operate to prevent irreparable harm, it usually got called a "difference". We try not to recommend operations that aren't biologically necessary, but parents are currently permitted to request them and generally it'll be approved - though if I were the surgeon (which I'm not) I would probably request a different person perform it because I am not comfortable with unnecessary genital surgeries on unconsenting children.

Medicine currently recognises that sex and gender are not synonymous, that correlation is not causation, and that intersex conditions come in a wide variety of forms and functions. We also do not have a clear idea of whether something like hypospadias or imperforate hymen even COUNT as intersex disorders, even if they're definitely DSDs, and it's not very important because "intersex" isn't really a medical term.

Thank you so much for this perspective! I'm really happy, honored, and excited that I got the opinion of a doctor on this stuff.

I do have a couple of poorly articulated, rambly thoughts here, which I hope don't come off as criticizing you, because I'm just trying to build off of what you're saying and possibly get your perspective.

"male" and "female" are still interesting terms to me, and still have some of the same pitfalls as "man" and "woman". This is purely my own opinion, I don't want to falsely represent how scientists and doctors use them, but I personally use them more frequently as adjectives for individual parts of a body. Mostly, I do this to refer to myself. Because... Am I currently male, or female? I have a typical male height, male genitalia, but female physiology, female fat distribution, female hormonal systems, etc. It's hard for people to think of biological sex as dynamic and changing, but if you want to accurately describe me, that's what I am currently.

And yeah, you can totally use male and female to refer to individuals who dominantly have those male or female traits overall. But you have to be ready to get nuanced about it- which is exactly what you're doing here, which I appreciate.

It's also somewhat useful when referring casually to hermaphroditic organisms, although by that point you're probably just using more specific terms. I digress. I'm rambling.

I have a barely-relevant tangent here that I'm gonna put under the cut. There's an interesting parallel here between another linguistic quirk of terminology in genetics.

When a gene varies by a single base pair (eg, one of the As, Ts, Cs, or Gs is something else, or has been deleted or added), it can change the function of the gene. Sometimes, this is called a mutation- which, yes it is. Mutation implies a deviation from the general population, a distinct molecular event that happened which now exists in the gene pool in small numbers.

The trouble lies with assuming what the "default" form of the gene is. When gene A is say, 50% G at a certain location, and 50% T at that spot, it's called a SNP- single nucleotide polymorphism (often pronounced as "snip").

But what's the cutoff? 80-20? 95-5? 99-1? More extreme? What about SNPs

This is purely a linguistic thing, and in scientific contexts, people know what you're talking about based on the context around the words you use.

SNP as a term has p much been around for as long as genetics as a field. Within the field, I don't think anyone cares much, except as a discussion topic to get undergrads interested. However, I do think it's important for scientific communication- mutation has a much different connotation in people's minds than SNP, a term they may have never heard or feel neutrally about. The same can be applied to sex- the way we talk about male/female traits is extremely relevant to public perception. It's very similar to the terminology you're talking about here. And I'm really glad that medicine acknowledges that!!

In general, I think that these linguistic debates can seem trivial to professionals- but it dramatically affects public perception. There's whole other rambles here about how scientists and doctors generally don't know how to talk to non-scientists and non-doctors, but that's a whole other thing.

#trans #biology

19 notes · View notes

authorofthemoon · 15 days

Text

Alright I wanna catalogue all my thoughts on Persona 3 Reload but it's gonna start with an info dump. I rescued Fuuka and about halfway though the revenge website arc. So first done teammate thoughts.

I think the protagonist is pretty boring I just feels like he's less present than Yu and Ren. All his answers are either boring, polite, or really mean. Not a lot of opportunities to be a silly goose at least so far. I get the feeling he's meant to be a little emo and possibly apathetic to others due to the game's themes.

Junpei is cool, really silly goofy guy. Sucks he falls victim to Persona idiot guy syndrome and is kinda treated poorly by everyone and is kinda perverted. It's not insane but it's their.

Honestly love Takebe so much. She is such a normal person and it's so refreshing. And I mean normal normal like she is trying her fucking best even though she's kinda lame (affectionate) at times. Like the Ace Defective line made me laugh solely because of her pause beforehand like she tried so hard. And her random beef with Kirijo is so good. It's probably explained later but day one she did not get a good vibe from her and is constantly like 'Idk she gives me the ick' is so funny to me.

Speaking of Kirijo. Love her. Queen shit. Mother. Actual group mom. She's trying her best and again she's so funny. Her thinking that someone broke into Junpei's room when he's simply a slob is peak to me. She is THE Empress.

Akihiko. We love a good gym bro himbo. Him and Shinji have messy exes energy. Not much to him yet honestly but I'm excited to know more.

Same with Fuuka she seems really cool. Normal shy girl character but I'm sure we get a lot more depth with her social link.

Speaking of which social link rundown.

Kenji had me questioning my sanity bc why am I so supportive of this guy getting groomed? I can say it's a bad idea to ask out your teacher but I can never be like 'hey, she's a pedo.' I literally have been speed running his link bc I need to know if she's a creep or if he's delusional. I'm at 9 so it seems to be delusional.

I took one look at Odagiri and went 'ah yes, he's a little bit fucked up.' only halfway through so curious where it goes.

Would die for the elderly couple I need to advance their link.

Miyamoto, go to a fucking doctor do you not know how injuries work?

Chihiro I would kill for you. Not that far into her link but her dad can catch these hands.

Maya is cool. Not that engaging of a link tbh.

Hiraga is very cute and sweet so I wanna advance his link I'm only a couple in.

Yuko is cool I'm only at 4 with her. She's funny and quick witted.

I will fucking kill Maiko's parents and adopt her myself. I'm only at 5. The moment I saw she was hanged arcana I was worried for her.

Pharos is cool idk how to advance his link I assume it'd natural.

Haven't done much with Bebe. Will at some point.

I just started the monk. He's interesting.

Suemitsu my sweet summer child go to fucking therapy. About halfway through and the tea is piping hot. Bro is literally like eating himself to death or something. I do think he's very sweet though.

That's about it loving the game despite a few nitpicks bc it's Atlus and my grudge against then is eternal.

#persona 3 reload #persona 3 #p3 reload #mitsuru kirijo #akihiko sanada #yukari takeba #junpei iori #fuuka yamagishi #kenji tomochika #hidetoshi odagiri #kazushi miyamoto #chihiro fushimi #maiko oohashi #nozomi suemitsu

10 notes · View notes

poormommamay · 2 years

Text

I'm angry. Livid. Sickened. Disgusted. Outraged. There are a lot of emotions and all of them are violent. What SCOTUS did has me inside out with hate and fear.

Women in the USA are going to die in droves. Not just from back alley methods, but from ectopic pregnancies, from partial miscarriages, from their wanted dead children rotting inside of them. Suicide rates are going to go up. Women who can't handle pregnancy, women who were raped and carry the seed of their assailants, women who only see one way out because the other ways will lead to prison. Women who very much wanted a pregnancy that ended up a loss and now instead of being able to grieve they're being investigated and the stress is too much. Women who were fine until they were forced off medication to continue an unwanted pregnancy.

It's not just the women who will suffer either. Children who were brought into the world unwanted, unloved, to be abused and neglected. Children who bounce from foster home to foster home never being at ease with themselves. Children who will grow to adults who do not know how to show love because they have never been loved. Children who will grow to adults who will turn to drugs and violence because that is what they know best. For every one happy ending, there are six that end in tragedy.

Children who will die in pain hours after their born because they never developed vital organs, and instead of getting to start the grief and healing, their mothers and fathers will have to watch their child as they fight for air with half a single lung and their hearts filled with holes and their parents will have to watch and wait for the inevitable death that could have been painless and over with before their little brains even registered the sound of their mothers heart.

Families will suffer and break. Families that were supposed to be done but birth control failed and now they don't know how to feed the extra mouth. Maternal deaths that could have been prevented leaving widowers and small children in its wake. There will be parents burying their teenage daughters, their twenty something daughters, their thirty something daughters. There will be children who don't understand why any of this is happening.

Oh sure, some states are safe. Some states you can go camping. Some states that are beautiful to live in. But not everyone has the resources to pack up and move. Not everyone has the resources to go camping. And no one should HAVE to travel half way across the country for the right to reproductive healthcare. No one should HAVE to risk prison for the right to reproductive healthcare.

I have heard "but exceptions will be made in this case that case the other case." And to those kinds of comments, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you. Fuck you. You have shown your hand with that comment. No one but a woman and her doctor should ever know why she chose abortion. She should not have to defend her choice to religious zealots or government agencies. She should not have to break every piece of her life down to explain why she was not physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially capable of going through with a pregnancy. You do not get to claim Becky who made a mistake and forgot a condom after a night of drinking must be forced to carry to term but Suzy who was coerced by her cousin doesn't have to. There is no difference in the embryo of an 11 year old or a 31 year old or a 71 year old, but out of the three there's only one who would definitely be forced to continue.

The worst part is, there is nothing to fall back on. No mental healthcare easily available for pre and post partum. Poorly executed government assistance for expecting and new mothers to feed their babies and themselves. No mandated paid maternity or paternity leave, no universal Pre-K, and a joke of a daycare tax credit. Insurance makes you pay a major chunk before they start taking on the bills and that's if you can even afford insurance in the first place. Choosing to give up the child leaves them in a system that is already overburdened. Not all babies get adopted. Not all foster cares are sweet or loving. Adoption will often lead to trauma even in the best case scenarios.

This is not how I planned to come back to blogging. But I will force time to research and write as often as possible. There are about to be a lot of unprivileged parents out there and if any tip, trick, or resource I can give helps even one in any way, I will feel just a little better about life.

You are loved, readers. You are heard here. It is time to build our communities up and raise our villages again. Updates will be sporadic for a while until I find a rhythm.

#poor momma may #i dont even know how to tag this outrage #roe v wade #trigger warnings #tw abortion #tw depressing stuff

1 note · View note

cowboylikedean · 3 years

Text

Something I’ve noticed.....

The veterinary community is VERY tightknit and VERY adverse to criticism. Vets will band together and defend each other almost blindly. The idea that we, pet parents, know more about our animals and their specific conditions more than some random vet does is seen as ridiculous. Asking questions and demanding a second opinion... Or even just a reason and explanation for an existing opinion... is deemed “wrong,” “bad,” “annoying,” “rude.”

A few weeks ago, a vet told me to put my cat down when she came in for an emergency visit. She implied I was selfish for saying no. Two hours later, my cat’s condition had improved ON HER OWN so much that she was comfortable discharging her to come home. She was sent home with dewormer. When I asked “do we have any reason to think she has worms?” I was met with frustration at the question and I was told “this will help.” I asked “How?” I was met with more frustration and again told “this will help.”

I was asking because this particular cat had gone through MANY rounds of dewormer when I first got her this past August and she is an indoor only cat. Her having worms would be a) very concerning and b) I would like to know what I need to do to ensure that we ACTUALLY kill the worms this time. The vet, however, didn’t care. She didn’t want to answer my questions. She wanted me to be a good little pet owner and take the meds home and do what she said.

I was just reading on @ask-a-vetblr and their rules state that they will not “engage in vet-bashing,” whatever the hell that means, in their FIRST FAQ point which is about questioning a vet or wanting a second opinion. I have had a vet I feel was actually and fully medically neglectful to my cat -- which resulted in the death of that cat. A pet parent dealing with that is terrified and doesn’t know what to do. They need guidance and compassion. Not anger and defensiveness.

I think we need to understand that vets are doctors. And doctors are not immune to mistakes. It is healthy and should be encouraged to ask your doctor questions. You are prescribed a medication and you SHOULDN’T be shamed or made to feel bad for asking basic questions like “What is this medication for?” “How does this medication work?” “What can I do to change my diet/behavior/environment/life to ensure this health problem doesn’t reoccur?” Most people will agree these questions shouldn’t be responded to defensively or negatively and a doctor responding to these negatively is a HUGE redflag of a potentially abusive or neglectful doctor. All of these are questions I’ve seen, personally, vets get very angry and upset hearing. And by that I mean most vets I’ve seen asked these questions have reacted poorly enough that if they were my own human doctor, I’d have left the appointment without paying and called my insurance company to block payment immediately.

Blogs like ask-a-vetblr should be teaching people how to navigate disagreeing or questioning their vets. Vets online should be providing us with resources to advocate best for our non-human loved ones. Instead, there’s a power play of dismissiveness and defensiveness that I feel really needs to be addressed. This imagined “war” between “pet parents” and “vets” shouldn’t exist!

And you can see vet resentment of pet parents in other places too. When covid first started, I saw so many vets online posting about how happy they were they got to do their jobs with the sick pets while the “annoying people” waited outside. I’ve known people in vet school who said their classmates frequently talk about how they are becoming vets because they “hate people” or “animals are so much better than people.” I heard one vet student a few years ago say she was becoming a vet because she wanted to “protect animals from their owners.”

Pet parents want what’s best for their pets too. We’re all out here doing our best. And yeah, there’s shitty pet parents who don’t care. And yeah, there’s a lot of excuses about non-human animal neglect. And yeah, there’s very little consensus on what IS neglect of our non-human animals. But none of that excuses this power play abusive dynamic between vets and pet parents. We SHOULD be able to challenge you and you SHOULD welcome that. A pet parent who is observant and attentive enough to their pets and their needs to ask you questions and challenge you on certain things should be WELCOME and ENCOURAGED! You should WANT to explain everything to us so we can better understand. The goal is “fewer sick pets.” We, also, share that goal!!! We are not your enemy!

I just find this dynamic truly abusive and awful and almost no one speaks about it. Medical abuse isn’t just a human problem. It is not socially acceptable for human doctors to act like this anymore and it shouldn’t be socially acceptable for vets either. NO medical professional should behave this way. No matter what species they serve.

*NOTE: I tagged ask-a-vetblr for a quick easy link to an example of what I’m talking about NOT because I want to fight anyone. That blog is not the only place I’ve seen it -- its just the post that inspired me to make this post and, therefore, a quick and easy link.

#vets #veterinary care #vet care #vets are not immune to abuse

461 notes · View notes

chaoskirin · 2 years

Note

Out of curiosity, how do you feel about the people who are specifically waiting to see how the vaccine might affect their pre-existing medical conditions? (like if they have an autoimmune disease and can't normally have vaccines because of the risk of it flaring up)

This is something different. People with reactions to vaccines or who can't have vaccines are the people we are supposed to be protecting.

Those who don't get vaccinated because they think somewhere down the line the vaccine will give them cancer (it won't. biologically impossible.) or that it contains a microchip (stupid, not just for the size a needle would have to be to insert a chip but also... wtf?!) or because they just don't want to (The ones who say the virus isn't that bad or who say "you can't tell me what to do") are the problem, and honestly they can all DIAF.

I have two people in my life who have historically reacted to vaccines. One is my co-worker, who has an immune condition that makes her allergic to E V E R Y T H I N G. She ultimately decided to get the J&J vaccine because it's shown the least reaction in people who are vaccine reactive. She did not have a reaction to it other than the normal soreness.

The other person is my nephew, who is 10 years old. After he got the MMR vaccine he spent the next year of his life with a full-body rash. He cried all the time, and bled, and itched, and it was awful. I saw this for myself, so I can vouch that it actually did happen, and it was terrible.

He recently asked my sister if he could get vaccinated. The risks were explained to him and he decided to do it anyway. He was watched very carefully because historically, he'd reacted poorly to several vaccines and everyone was afraid this could make him very sick.

He received either Pfizer or Moderna (IDK which and it doesn't matter. They're similar enough) and he had no reaction at all except a bruise where he was injected.

That was his choice (and his parents' choice) though, and he couldn't have been faulted if he decided it was too scary to risk it. If he went without being vaccinated, that would have been fine, because like I said before, he is LITERALLY the type of person vaccinated people are supposed to protect. If everyone around him is vaccinated, the chances of him getting sick are incredibly low.

So I can say two things with confidence:

1. Those who are immunocompromised can probably get one of the vaccines. Talk to your doctor if you're interested. Make sure you're monitored closely.

2. If you decide it's too much of a risk because it could cause you months of pain or illness, that's valid, and you're welcome here. You are someone us vaccinated people are here to protect.

#not bestiary

11 notes · View notes

spockandawe · 4 years

Text

So this morning, I tripped across this excellent post about Xue Yang and classism, and it shook something loose in my head. Specifically, it got me thinking about the idea of Xue Yang taking revenge for ‘only’ losing a finger. Xiao Xingchen doesn’t say anything as directly dismissive as saying he only lost a finger, but I do think that is at least partially the way that Xue Yang takes the argument.

And I’ve thought a lot and said a lot of words about the way Xue Yang feels hurt and betrayed and frustrated as he tries to explain himself to someone, for once, and that person completely misses his point. And I’ve said words about how in the three years in Yi City, Xue Yang gets hooked on the quiet comfort of domesticity, even if he and Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing are still, objectively, poor. But I’d never thought about this particular angle of their last argument before now.

This is going to be long, I can tell, so let’s throw a spoiler cut in here

Now, I do think it’s important that Xiao Xingchen doesn’t say directly that it was only a finger. I think it would have been cruel of him to say that. But I also think that his upbringing and position in the world make him a bit… oblivious to the implications of Xue Yang’s story, and what he’s trying to communicate, and that leads to him saying some things that are more insensitive than he would have chosen to if he’d realized.

From a very early point, he knew that Xue Yang grew up without parents or money.

Unhurried, Xue Yang began, “Once upon a time, there was a child.”

“The child really liked eating sweet things. But because he had no parents or money, he could rarely eat them.”

And he was told how that child was exploited, and how hard he was beat up and used even before things reached the point where he lost a finger

[The huge, brawny man] took over the paper and looked at it, and he gave the child a slap so hard that his nose started bleeding. The man pulled the child’s hair and asked, ‘Who told you to take such a thing over?’”

[…]

“[seven-year-old Xue Yang] felt scared and pointed the direction. The man went to the liquor shop, carrying the child by pulling his hair.”

[…]

“The store was in a mess and the waiter was feeling quite cross. He slapped the child a few times, so hard that his ears were even buzzing, and chased him out the door. He crawled up and walked for a while.”

[…]

What do you think happened? Just a few more slaps and a few more kicks.”

(It’s interesting to me that he dodges even mentioning his hand being run over in this version of the story, but later goes into a lot of detail about his hand later with Xiao Xingchen, even though Xiao Xingchen has completely turned against him)

And, something that I hadn’t really noticed until I went to collect these quotes, is how Xiao Xingchen reacts to this story.

After Xiao XingChen tucked her, he walked a few steps, then asked, “What happened afterward?”

Xue Yang, “Guess. There was no afterward. You didn’t continue telling your story either, did you?”

Xiao XingChen, “No matter what happened afterward, since right now your life is fairly adequate, there’s no need for you to dwell too much on the past.”

That’s… a very high-minded approach to take, where I can see the good intentions, but I’m also kind of wincing at the accidental implications.

And then, to mix it up, let’s have some screencaps for the second half of the story, because these actors seriously knocked this scene out of the park

“The wheels of the cart milled over the child’s hand, one finger at a time. He was seven!”

And then another book quote, because it’s fascinating to me how directly he begs Xiao Xingchen to empathize with the child who was used so poorly and lost a finger in the process.

“Is it that, since the fingers weren’t yours, you guys were incapable of feeling the pain?! You guys didn’t know how horrifying screams sounded like out of your own mouths? Why didn’t you ask him why he decided to amuse himself with me without a single reason?!”

Only, right after he does this, Xiao Xingchen talks about how disproportionate Xue Yang’s revenge was. This really kills me, honestly, because this is the point where Xue Yang stops trying to appeal to him and explain himself, and takes a sharp turn towards losing control over his emotions instead.

Xiao XingChen spoke as though he couldn’t believe Xue Yang’s words, “Chang Ci’An broke one of your fingers in the past. If you sought revenge, you could’ve simply broken one of his fingers as well. If you really took the matter to heart, you could’ve broken two, or even all ten! Even if you had cut off an entire arm of his, things wouldn’t have been like this. Why did you have to kill his entire clan? Don’t tell me that a single finger of yours was equal to more than fifty human lives!”

I always just accepted that this was enough to hurt Xue Yang that much. But also… Xiao Xingchen knows that Xue Yang was a poor, parentless child, and he’s heard about how this child was callously exploited and mistreated by three separate adults. And there’s a couple class-related details in here that I want to touch on.

One, Xue Yang was again, a poor, parentless child, and I imagine he was living on the streets in a situation like that. Chang Ci’an broke (amputated) one of his fingers. And ran over the whole rest of his hand, which I have to imagine did other significant damage. Okay, so he wrecked this seven-year-old child’s hand. Now…. how much did this child have? What did he have besides his body? Did he even have a home to retreat to and recover? Because I have to imagine he didn’t. He didn’t have money for medical treatment, it’s not even clear if he knew anyone he could go to for basic medical help. Let’s not even talk about setting the bones in a shattered hand, did he even have access to anything to prevent infection? If he had any means of making a living (at age, again, seven), it would almost have had to be either begging or stealing. Having one ruined hand would have done awful things to this parentless child’s ability to survive. He made it through, clearly, but god.

And Xiao Xingchen isn’t approaching this from a position like most of our main characters, who grew up wealthy and privileged. He’s not approaching this in a way like how Jiang Cheng scolded Wei Wuxian for breaking his arm, because he had to get it all plastered up and spend weeks recovering, and that was super inconvenient. Xiao Xingchen was never wealthy, and he grew up as a feral mountain child with Baoshan Sanren. But that means that he wasn’t subject to the same social forces as a city child like Xue Yang. Even if he was injured as a child, even if he was badly injured, it wasn’t probably an act of cruelty or callousness on the part of an adult. And if he was injured, he might not have had access to formally trained doctors, but he had a teacher who was highly trained spiritually, and who would at least care for him.

In a way, I think that makes it all hurt… more for Xue Yang. Because Xiao Xingchen isn’t gentry, he never was affiliated with the great cultivation sects, and he and Xue Yang and A-Qing have been living together in a city in fairly poor circumstances for three years now. But Xiao Xingchen is an adult, and one who’s used to making his own way in the world. He has no personal understanding of what it’s like to be a powerless child in similar circumstances, without anyone. And in this moment, he’s not able to understand how awful and how serious this was for a child like Xue Yang to experience.

Like, compare and contrast. When the Wens are starting to move against Lotus Pier, there’s half a moment where Wei Wuxian makes his peace with losing a hand. He’s like ‘yeah, that sucks, but i’ll deal. i’ll just learn to fight with my other hand, whatever!’ But just imagine how serious that would have been before Jiang Fengmian found him. Without money, without a home, without anyone to care for you, without access to any real medical care, how dire an injury would that have been? Xue Yang might not have lost his hand altogether, but the cart ran over his whole hand, and hands are just full o’ bones. The consequences of that injury were significant.

And Xiao Xingchen’s initial reaction is ‘okay, so this wealthy cultivator broke your finger. why didn’t you just break his finger?’ and then he manages to escalate his way up to ‘idk, you could have even cut off his arm???’

In retrospect, it’s completely unsurprising to me that this is the moment where Xue Yang totally shuts down and starts asking why Xiao Xingchen even got involved, if he wasn’t capable of understanding.

“You shouldn’t have meddled in other people’s business. Right or wrong, kindness or hatred are not clearly distinguished, so how could an outsider possibly understand?”

“Your martial mentor, Baoshan Sanren, was indeed insightful. Why didn’t you listen to her and obediently cultivate in the mountain? If you couldn’t understand the human affairs and this world, then you shouldn’t have come!”

It makes me wonder what would have happened, if Xue Yang had leaned harder into what kind of suffering and hardship an injury like that meant for a street child, but considering how reluctant he was to share in the first place, I’m not exactly surprised he didn’t go there.

Incidentally, it’s interesting to me that when Xiao Xingchen calls Xue Yang ‘disgusting’, that’s when Xue Yang pivots into really trying to hurt him. I think it would hurt, coming from Xiao Xingchen, no matter what, but I have to wonder if he takes it extra hard in light of the way he’s just been trying to explain his history as a mistreated street child.

I’d been idly wondering if I was reading too far into this dynamic (not that that was going to stop me, but still, wondering :P), but this last addition to the conversation really caught my attention

“The people I hate the most are ones like you who say they’re righteous, who think they’re virtuous. Stupid, naive, dumb idiots like you who think the world’s better just because you did something good!”

And then I was like no, I’ve been right this whole time, haha :V

Xue Yang’s anger and hurt sense on a purely personal level, especially with the extra pain of trying to explain himself, for once, and Xiao Xingchen missing the point. But the extra frustration on behalf of his younger self makes so much additional sense.

Xue Yang likes Xiao Xingchen, he likes living with Xiao Xingchen, or he wouldn’t still be there three years after a chance encounter. It would be a whole other meta to source this claim, but it very much feels like there are things he admires about Xiao Xingchen, even if it’s kind of a condescending, indulgent fondness for his foolish, naive innocence instead of a straightforward admiration. Until it tips over here, and becomes personal.

And I think there were a lot of ways where he was prepared to disagree with Xiao Xingchen on a deep, fundamental level. They have very different values. But I don’t think he was prepared for Xiao Xingchen to be so oblivious to the class-based aspect of Xue Yang’s history. I don’t think Xiao Xingchen intended to be cruel, and I also think he had other significant things on his mind, but the seriousness of this incident doesn’t seem to occur to him. For someone with money, for someone with a skilled martial family, for even someone with a family, period, this would have been a traumatic experience, but one that could be dealt with. But then Xiao Xingchen equates the finger of this wealthy, purposefully cruel cultivator to the finger of a poor, parentless street child, and Xue Yang begins to lose control.

I already didn’t blame him for how upset he gets in this conversation, but now, even more than before, I find his reaction incredibly understandable. I mean, yes, their whole relationship is built on a foundation of sand, but he thought that he and Xiao Xingchen… supported each other, at least. They mattered to each other. And when Xiao Xingchen rejects him in the present, well, sure, that was going to happen if anyone was stupid enough to tell Xiao Xingchen the truth, that was understandable. But when Xiao Xingchen casually brushes aside the suffering of little innocent seven-year-old Xue Yang, that hurts Xue Yang more than he could have ever anticipated.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #xue yang #xiao xingchen #long post/#meta #xue yang: is it that since the fingers weren't yours you were incapable of feeling the pain?!#further speculation: xiao xingchen and lack of experience with *untreated* injuries #i really want to do something more with xue yang and bones that didn't heal right and an amputated finger that got infected #but heck if i know what

331 notes · View notes

datleggy · 3 years

Note

I need both of your “surprise Buck was/is pregnant with Eddie’s baby and they find out because Chris finds him” anons to finish their drabbles. I need the Buddie confrontation scene with all the angst and betrayal from both sides. (Meanwhile Chris happily keeps his baby brother occupied and whispers about how he’s gonna parent trap their dads.) Please and thank you.

he anon sent more and here it is! it's wonderful, pls read!! <3

ANON: As the anon who your last ask was talking about might I just say I am sobbiiiinnnnnggggggg 😭😭😭 that was so good omg but ALSO now I have an addition to my earlier blurb 👀👀👀

Eddie is frantic, from the moment Buck called to now. Let's rewind a bit though, for context.

After running into Buck in Austin, they did meet up, without Chris, to talk. Buck had Eddie meet him at his new fire house, which. Hurt? It hurt, in a weird way that Eddie couldn't quite place at first, but he realizes now what he was feeling; jealousy that Buck has moved on and seems so comfortable here, longing for Buck to return to them, to the 118 (if he's being honest though, it's him he wants Buck to return to more than anything, but that's hardly fair after everything), regret that he treated Buck so poorly that the other man not only felt he couldn't tell him about the baby, but that he felt he had to move states.

Eddie met him there regardless, though, because ultimately it was Buck's choice. Eddie was grateful Buck chose to talk to him at all, so he wasn't going to argue over the chosen venue.

They met up, and they talked, and Buck confirmed that the baby he was carrying was Eddie's. He was in shock at the confession, upset for the first few moments, even. And it showed on his face, because the next thing Eddie knew, Buck was backing away from him, arms crossed over his stomach and tears running down his face, begging Eddie not to try and take his baby from him.

"I know I shouldn't have ke-kept this from y-you, but Eddie pl-please! He's all I h-ha-have left, I won't make it if you t-take h-him!" Eddie was shocked, and horrified at Buck's words. It took him a few minutes to calm him down, and weeks of slowly increased communication between the two of them (and Christopher, of course) before Eddie was able to convince Buck that he wasn't planning on trying to gain custody of the baby. He had explained that, yes, he wanted to be in their son's life, wanted Chris to be in his brother's life, but he wouldn't do anything to hurt Buck anymore then he already has.

It took almost the remainder of the pregnancy, but they were finally close to where they had been before everything went to shit. Not that they were lovers again, Eddie doesn't think either of them are ready for that, and Buck agrees, but they were on the fast track to becoming best friends again.

So of course he's the first person Buck calls when he goes into labor.

"I'm sorry, you're what?"

"In labor," Buck says sheepishly over the phone. "Or at least, I think I am? I mean, I'm three days overdue so I doubt these are practice contractions, but I guess there's always the possibility, and oh my god if I called you at 3 in the morning because of practice contractions, Eddie, I am so sorry oh god--" he can hear Buck working himself into a panic attack, so he cuts in.

"Hey hey, none of that. Even if these are Braxton Hicks or whatever they're called, I'm glad you called me. We agreed we would be in this together, right?" There's a pause on the other line before Buck speaks.

"Yeah. Together."

Eddie smiles at the soft tone of Buck's voice, and he can picture him perfectly in his mind's eye as though he were there in front of Eddie. Sitting at the end of his bed, both hands framing his belly (which has gotten big since the first time they ran into each other three months ago, the doctors estimating that the baby is somewhere between 8 and 9 pounds, which Buck was Not Pleased to hear, and blames Eddie for, especially when he found out that Chris was nearly 8 pounds when he had been born), and tears in his eyes despite the smile on his face at the prospect of meeting their baby soon.

Eddie takes a deep breath to steady his own racing heart and asks "So, what do you want to do?"

"Huh?"

Eddie can't help the breathless laugh that leaves him, every passing moment feeling more and more surreal as he realizes that /this is happening/. He's going to be a father for a second time, he and Buck are having a baby together and they're going to meet him soon.

"Do you want me with you, Buck? Because I can leave now, fly down there and be with you when he's born. Or we can stay on the phone, or you can FaceTime me. Whatever you wanna do, babe." The endearment leaves his mouth before he can stop it, but he doesn't try to back track.

"I--" Buck cuts himself off with a cry, more surprised then in pain, but Eddie still hates the sound. He starts to wonder, if Buck wants him there, will Eddie even be able to face seeing him in that amount of pain? He'll do it, of course he will, he would do anything for Buck and their boys, but god it might just break him. This isn't about Eddie, though.

"Breathe, baby. Deep breaths, just like in those classes TK took you to." Everytime he and Buck talk, the other man has stories either related to the baby, or related to his new family. Sometimes even both, like when he told Eddie about the Lamaze classes Buck's friend TK took him to, highly recommended from when TK went himself with his boyfriend Carlos leading up to their son being born. Eddie couldn't help but feel that ugly, burning jealousy, but he tried to sound as happy as possible over the phone. Buck wouldn't appreciate the jealousy, since Eddie lost out on what they could have been thanks to his own anger and mistreatment of Buck.

A few moments pass before Buck comes back on. "That hurt," he says with a small, pained laugh. Eddie can't tell if he wants to cry, punch something, or both, but he tamps those feelings down.

"I know, I know. But you've got this, Buck. You're gonna kick labor's ass, right?"

"Right," Buck responds weakly.

"Damn right, right. You're so strong, Buck. There isn't anything you can't do, and nothing you won't do for your kids. You've got this." He hears Buck take a deep breath, steeling himself.

"Yeah... yeah! I've got this. I've got this!" That golden retriever enthusiasm is back in full force, and Eddie grins.

Buck announces that he's going to start packing some stuff and getting his things together, so Eddie will be in speaker phone. For the next few minutes, Eddie listens to Buck ramble off random facts about babies and labor between verbalizing his hospital bag checklist. He hums in the appropriate places to show he's listening, asks clarifying questions so Buck knows Eddie isn't bored or just humoring him. Before too long, Eddie can tell that Buck has picked the phone back up, removing it from speaker phone.

"Hey, Eds?" His voice is quieter, more subdued then it has been for most of their time in the phone.

"Yeah, Buck?" His own voice is soft, curious but undemanding.

"I-- you said, earlier, that you would-would come down, if that's what I wanted? Like, to be here when the baby is born." Eddie feels his heart start to race in his chest, not sure if he's eager to hear Buck's decision or dreading it.

"I did," he confirms anyway, wanting Buck's comfort more than anything else.

"... Is that offer still on the table? You coming down here, I mean." Eddie can feel his breath catch in his chest, and he realizes that, yeah, he was eager to know what Buck wanted him to do. He feels like jumping into the air and cheering, knowing Buck wants him by his side as he delivers their baby boy into the world.

"I can leave in ten minutes, and be with you in four, five hours at the most." His response is almost immediate, and Buck laughs on the other end of the line. "Is that what you want, Buck? Me to be there, with you?" Eddie hears a sniffle and he knows Buck is in the verge of crying.

"I-- is that alright? I don't-- I can't do this alone, Eddie. I know I have everyone from the 126 here, and all of them would sit with me through this in a heartbeat, but... I need it to be you that's here with me. I want you to be here when our son is born, want you to cut the cord, be one of the first to hold him, all of it. I... I need /you/." And how could Eddie ever say no to that?

"Give me a few minutes to pack a bag and make some calls, okay? I'll call you right back, and before you know it, I'll be right beside you, holding your hand and letting you break as many fingers as you want." Buck gives a wet chuckle and agrees, but both men have a hard time saying goodbye, even if it will only be for a few minutes.

"I'll see you soon, Buck, okay? I swear."

"Yeah, I know you will, I know. I'm just nervous, is all. Having you here, even just over the phone, it helps. So much, Eddie." He knows what he means. Hearing Buck's cheerful voice after a long day never fails to make Eddie feel better, make him feel that no matter what, everything will be alright. He can only imagine how much better things will feel for the both of them once they can actually see each other, touch each other.

"I know exactly what you mean. I'll be there soon, okay? I'll call you back in a second and you can tell me more statistics about babies born in cars, or whatever." Buck snorts a laugh and Eddie smiles at the sound.

"I swear to God if you jinx this and I end up giving birth on the highway, I will kill you." They laugh together, but Eddie knows now that he has to get things in order if he wants to be with Buck ASAP. Neither man wants to say goodbye.

"I'll be with you soon, Evan."

"Yeah, okay. Eddie, I-I..." Eddie waits patiently for whatever Buck was going to say. His heart hammers in his chest.

"... Be safe, Eddie." He can't help the bitter feeling of disappointment that floods through him, but he returns the sentiment, regardless.

They hang up, and for a moment, Eddie simply sits on his bed, head in his hands. All he wanted to do as they said their goodbyes was to tell Buck that he loved him. He doesn't feel like he's earned the right to say that to him yet, though. He has to earn it.

With that in mind, he starts packing a bag, calling Hen to see if she and Karen would be able to babysit Chris while Eddie is in Texas.

Dhdhjajsiejsj so sorry about that again, hope you enjoy (and thanks again to that person who sent that other ask, bc that was an amazing blurb they sent 😌) 😭😭😭

#sorry it took me forever to post #i am bad at posting auierhgihef #but this is a fantastic continuation <3 #i was ecstatic when i got this in my inbox !!!#ALSO CAN I JUST SAY #the line about statistics about babies born in cars was so ON POINT #i died #thanku anon #this made me emotional at work euohrgwriojf #ask #anons

24 notes · View notes

five-rivers · 4 years

Text

Gloves

The for real, 100% serious ending of the Flowers / Moon / Corruption series. I’m out of ideas on this one, but I think I gave it a good finale?

"It was the portal," he started. "But-" His eyes flicked back and forth between the portal and the graveflower bush. "But I guess you probably already knew that."

"You died," said Maddie.

"No!" protested Danny, taking half a step forward. "No. Well, yes, but, I mean, I'm- I only sort of died." He took a deep breath and squared himself. "It turns out that life and death aren't as clear cut as people think. I died but... my body was right there, so I guess, I guess my ghost, I don't know, jump started it, and, um, fixed the whole dead thing. At least... that's what we- what I- think."

He began to hunch under his parents' intense gaze once again. They were going to say that it was impossible.

"Other people know about this?" asked Jack. "Who?"

"Sam and Tucker. Jazz. Some of the ghosts," said Danny, shrugging a little. He would have to be careful to avoid slips like that. He didn't want anyone else to get in trouble.

"You talk to the ghosts?" asked Maddie.

"Sometimes," said Danny.

"Is that why you and Jazz defend Phantom?" she asked. "Has he- has he helped you?" The way she said it made it sound like she was swallowing a blackberry vine.

"Um," said Danny. He fidgeted. "That- That isn't really the right question, when it comes to Phantom."

"What do you mean?" asked Jack. "Either he helped or he didn't."

"Well," said Danny. He placed his hand over his chest, over his core, fingers spread wide. "The thing is, I can sort of choose to be a ghost, sometimes. I am Phantom."

Maddie sagged slightly into Jack, who blinked several times, not saying anything.

"We'll have to run some tests," said Maddie, breathlessly.

Danny watched his mother pull on his gloves and braced himself. Maddie noticed.

"You don't need to be so tense," she said.

He disagreed. "Is this really necessary?" he asked. "I mean, you already checked my pulse, and I told you everything. Can't we just... leave it at that?" He tried not to glance at the ghost shield generator, poorly hidden under a sheet. Maddie and Jack both had remotes for it. In case he suddenly became violent.

Or if they decided that he was lying, after all.

"This is for your health, too," said Maddie. "It would be hard for us to treat you if you got hurt, and we didn't know how you normally are."

"I manage fine," said Danny, shifting back on the stool.

"We'd like to do better than 'manage,'" said Maddie. "We're going to take your blood pressure and heart rate, first."

The first several tests were... banal. Things that could happen in any doctor's office... although, Danny's last visit to a human doctor had been some time ago. His memories of the event were admittedly fuzzy.

Having his parents do the examination, though, latex gloves over their normal hazmat ones, that was different. That touched on so many nightmares, nightmares that had been beaten into his brain night after night, that he found himself trembling under their fingers.

"Do you feel cold?" asked Maddie, her fingers hovering over a thermometer.

"No," said Danny. She popped it into his mouth anyway.

"You are cold. Your temperature is almost hypothermic."

"That's normal," mumbled Danny. He crossed his arms.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," said Danny.

"Alright," said Maddie.

She walked to the other side of the lab and began taking sample jars out from a cabinet. From another draw she took out a sealed, sterilized packet. Inside it, a syringe.

"Jack," she said, "could you get the cotton swabs? Then we can-"

"No!" said Danny, jumping off the stool. This was too much. "Can't you just believe me? For once? Or- Or just turn the shield on and lock me up, if you can't. I'm not an experiment!"

Maddie and Jack both froze.

"What shield?" asked Jack.

Danny pointed, incensed, his other arm wrapped protectively around himself. Jack, still wearing a confused face, walked over and pulled back the sheet. Underneath, the shield projector was half-disassembled.

Disassembled, as in, no longer functional. Danny gaped at it.

"I don't-" he said. "But- Why all the tests? Why are you doing this? All this poking and prodding?"

"We said," started Maddie. She stopped. Turned a sample jar over in her hands twice. She put it down. "We want to understand. We want to be able to tell if something is wrong. If there's anything... affecting you."

Danny watched his parents warily. "I'm still just me," he said. "Nothing is influencing me. I don't- No more tests."

"Alright," said Jack. "We don't want to do anything you aren't comfortable with, Danno."

"We- Maybe we've moved too fast," said Maddie. "We need time to settle and to- to talk about things."

Danny gave a small nod. "Can I go, now?" he asked.

"Of course," said Maddie. She sounded hurt.

Danny's heart made a complicated maneuver in his chest, but he couldn't stand to be here anymore. He walked for the stairs as quickly as he could without running, avoiding the areas of his lab that his subconscious had labeled as threatening.

He passed by the graveflower. It's flowers tilted towards him.

He did not miss his mother's shudder.

Maddie sank into her chair. "He really is Danny," she said. Jack simply nodded. "He must hate us."

"No," said Jack. "He doesn't hate us. He stayed. He explained things to us."

"And we took advantage of that."

"He doesn't hate us," repeated Jack. "We all just need time." He looked around the room. "Quality family time!"

Maddie gave Jack a thin smile. "Maybe." Her eyes strayed back to the graveflower, remembering how it made Danny's skin light up, how it made him look dead. A mother's worst nightmare. "Maybe. Something without ghosts."

"Without ghost hunting," corrected Jack.

"You're right," said Maddie. She patted his hand where it rested on her shoulder. "You're right."

#danny phantom #dannymay #dannymay 2020 #day 12

344 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Taste of a Poison Paradise, Chapter 6 (Multi) - Joley

Chapter Summary: Lemon continues to cope poorly, Brooke Lynn, Kameron, and Vanessa realize that love triangles are out and triads are in, Nicky surprises Jan with a travel proposal, Jackie gets invested in Jaida’s OnlyFans, and Gigi is dealing with some unwanted attention (TW for mentions of stalking and sexual harassment).

ao3 link

Jan watched as Lemon packed her suitcases. “Maybe we should let the lease expire,” she remarked, hoping that distracting her friend with mundane conversation would keep her from getting upset again. “If you’re gonna stay with Rosé, and I stay at Nicky’s most of the time, it doesn’t make sense to keep paying for this place. And like, you’re always welcome to stay with us too, if you want.”

“No offense, but I don’t really wanna be around your beautiful, blossoming romance any more than I have to be. Also, don’t you think you guys are moving a little fast? I mean, it’s been like… a month. Vanjie’s a nut but even she waited a solid three months before rolling out the u-haul,” Lemon replied, throwing her body onto the suitcase to get it to close.

“You’re not wrong,” she conceded. “But her place is gorgeous, you can’t blame me for wanting to just stay there and get fucked for hours on end.”

She rolled her eyes but nodded. She couldn’t complain because she was the one that brought it up, but hearing how perfect things were for Jan and Nicky made her seethe with envy. “Guess we’ll just have to see if you guys can still stand each other once the honeymoon phase is over.”

Jan frowned. “Okay, I’m not gonna take that personally because I know you’re going through a hard time right now,” she murmured. “Is that everything?”

“Yep,” Lemon mumbled as she got up and dragged her suitcases to the front door. She then stopped and rifled through her purse, pulling out a flask and taking a swig, then offered it out to Jan.

“No thanks, not really up for day drinking today,” she said, then leaned over and sniffed the opening of the flask. “Is that straight vodka?”

She shook her head. “There’s sprite in there too,” she assured.

Again, Jan chose not to argue with her. She knew her friend was hurting and she hoped the worst of it would pass once she got settled in with Rosé. “Let’s get going,” she sighed.

Once Rosé had officially taken Lemon in, Jan’s nerves eased up, but her concern hadn’t. “I think this is the best place for her to be right now. Make sure she doesn’t fall off with her coursework, okay? This is her last semester and I’d hate for this to derail her entirely and–”

“Jan,” Rosé put her hand on her shoulders to try to focus her attention. “Breathe, baby. I love your love for her, but you don’t have to be her mom. I got it from here.”

Jan nodded, taking a deep breath in an attempt to quell the remaining concerns. “Okay, I’m good,” she told her. “How are you, by the way? Things going well with Denali?”

“Yeah, there’s not much to report,” she shrugged. “We’re just sleeping together, and neither of us has a boyfriend so there’s no downside.”

“You say that now.”

——-

Brooke Lynn sat in an uncomfortable silence of her own creation, her gaze fixed down on her plate. It was so much easier talking to Kameron when Vanessa was sandwiched between them – being alone with her made her feel exposed.

“I’m not trying to take Vanessa from you,” Kameron bluntly broke the silence. “I like her, I like spending time with her – with both of you – but I’m not interested in creating drama.”

She blinked, taking in what she’d said. Had she come off as threatened? Jealous? She supposed it wasn’t the most outlandish thought. “No, no it’s not like that. I trust Vanjie and I trust you. I’m just still kind of new to the world of relationships, let alone serious ones, you know?”

Much to her relief, Kameron nodded in understanding. “Listen, I get it. If you don’t have a lot of dating experience, someone like Vanjie can be… a lot. But I know you guys love each other, though I’m not gonna sit here and claim that I don’t have any feelings for either of you… I can get a little clingy after sex, what can I say?”

Brooke bit her lip and looked down. “I can’t say I expected this, but I’m not complaining,” she told her. “And I know you haven’t told Vanj yet, or I’d have already heard about it.

“I kind of figured you’d be a tougher nut to crack,” she admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. “I mean, I’m not oblivious, I know you weren’t thrilled with the whole open relationship thing at first.”

“You’re right,” she conceded. “But I’ve honestly warmed up to it… I’ve warmed up to you, anyway.” She pressed her lips together as she thought. “I think the three of us should talk. Because I don’t think she ever wanted an open relationship, she just wanted you. And I don’t blame her.”

Kameron arched her brow, a slight smirk tugging at her lips. “So, what, you’re thinking of trying a throuple situation?”

Brooke smiled and shrugged. “I think it’s an option worth considering.”

But to consider it properly, they did need Vanessa. So, once they were all together in their apartment, they opened the floor. “I think it’s a damn good idea,” Vanessa started. “Can’t believe it took us this long to think of it.”

The other two girls laughed. “I think we were expecting that answer,” Brooke told her. “I don’t think any of us are opposed to it, it’s more about working out the details. For example… Do we move Kameron in with us? I feel like it’s a bit awkward to have two-thirds of a throuple living together with the third somewhere else.”

“I’m not about to say no to not having to pay rent,” Kameron laughed lightly. “I rent month to month, so I just have to be out by the end of it,” she explained. “And besides, if I get sick of you guys, I could just crash in the guest room. Which, by the way, is like half of my entire apartment.”

“This feels like a business transaction,” Vanessa remarked, a bit of an annoyed whine in her voice.

“You know what they say, baby,” Brooke hummed, “business before pleasure.”

——

“Would you like to come with me to Paris?” Nicky asked as she laid in bed with Jan. “I’m going over there for a long weekend and I think you could use a little holiday.”

Jan beamed brightly and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like fun. What’s the occasion?”

There was a hesitation before her reply that wasn’t lost on Jan. “I try to go and check in on my mother now and then. But I don’t want to trouble you with that, there’s plenty of things to do and–”

“Do you not want me to meet your mom?”

Nicky quickly shook her head. “It isn’t that. It’s just… I have never brought a girl to meet her before. She means well, usually, but she can be… judgmental. I don’t think she ever fully came to terms with having a gay daughter. It is like… she loves me, but not who I am.”

“And her gay daughter bringing home a stripper would give her an aneurism?”

“This isn’t about what you do, Jan,” she insisted, “she’d react all the same if you were a doctor or a lawyer or the fucking president. But I mean, come on, what do your parents think you do for a living?”

Jan frowned and crossed her arms. “They know I’m still trying to find acting work during the day, and they know I work at the club at night… They just think I’m a waitress.”

“You guys do not have waitresses.”

“But they don’t know that!” she pointed out, then quietly followed up with, “I get it, whatever, forget I said anything.”

Nicky sighed and sat up, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Do you want to meet my mother that badly?”

This time, it was Jan who hesitated as she thought for a moment. “I mean, I don’t wanna make things more difficult or stressful for you…”

She reached out and took her hand, squeezing gently. “Come with me, we will burn the bridge after we cross it. But I need you to understand that I am not ashamed of you, okay? Not at all.”

Jan smiled softly, picking her head up and resting it on Nicky’s shoulder. Ever since she had started working at the club, she had made a promise to herself to never date anyone that made her question her self-worth. Truth be told, if her parents ever found out about her career, their response wouldn’t be one of anger, it would be pity. They would take her in, give her money, treat her like a poor, lost soul that needed to be put on the right path. And to her, that was so much worse. “I have always wanted to go to Paris.”

——

Having consciously been in the closet since she was sixteen, Jackie was well adept at keeping secrets. But this time, keeping a secret felt so much more difficult, because it involved more than just herself. And as inconsequential as the secret may be in theory, it weighed heavily on her conscience.

She had waited a couple of days before creating an account to subscribe to Jaida’s OnlyFans, lest it look suspicious. But once she was in, she was checking her page almost obsessively. Sure, she had seen Jaida in every state of undress, but this was different, more intimate. It came with the territory, but seeing Jaida’s body in ways she had only fantasized about drove her wild.

Then she decided to get bold.

Maybe it was the extra glass of wine, maybe it was an overwhelming bout of horniness. But something compelled her to send Jaida a private message, happy to pay the five-dollar fee.

NYCdude1985: Hi, do you take requests for personalized videos? How much does it cost?

Jaida: As in you want me to moan your name while I touch myself? Yeah, I do thirty-second clips for $20.

NYCdude1985: Done. My name is Jack. But I go by Jackie, so use that.

NYCdude1985: Please, sorry.

Jaida chuckled softly as she read the messages. Even through the brief exchange, she could sense Jackie’s anxiety, the trepidation she had. She found it endearing and she was proud of her for being brave enough to take that step, even if it was under a rather uncreative screen name.

How had she known it was Jackie? It was a simple oversight on Jackie’s end - she had left her laptop open in her office, where the girls would frequently enter if they needed to refill the snack shelves or replenish the bathrooms. Jaida had merely gone to see if she had any extra zebra cakes when she noticed the tab in the upper-left corner of her browser. Suddenly, snacks were the last thing on her mind.

And she had considered bringing it up to her but realized it would do more harm than good. Instead, she would give Jackie exactly what she wanted. She filmed herself rubbing her clit while she moaned Jackie’s name. She didn’t bother timing it, she decided she was going to give her the whole thing, start to finish. Her gaze fixed on the camera, wanting Jackie to feel like she was looking right at her.

When Jackie watched it, she felt the intensity. Her heart pounded in her chest, she couldn’t even touch herself the first time she watched it, so utterly fixated on how Jaida’s body moved, how her name sounded spilling from her lips, how desperately she wanted it to be for real. She had to consciously get herself to get off during her second watch-through, though she was actively imagining being there with Jaida, with her head between her thighs, eliciting those moans herself.

“I have to tell her,” Jackie said to Nicky the next day. The two of them had formed a friendship since Nicky first arrived, Nicky, finding comfort in a fellow French speaker and Jackie appreciating having a confidant. “It’s gonna eat me alive until I do.”

“You should tell her,” Nicky replied as she took a hit off her vape. “You said it yourself, it is the only way you are going to feel any better. Besides, what is the worst thing that could happen?”

Jackie looked at her as if she’d sprouted another head. “I lose a close friend and incredible employee, not to mention the potential ethical ramifications of buying porn from an employee.”

Nicky tilted her head, thinking, before asking, “est ce que tu l'aimes?”

Her eyes went wide and her face went red at the question, at the mere suggestion. “Je ne pense pas pouvoir dire que… l'amour est un mot si fort.”

“Maybe so,” she conceded, “but consider that you could not say ‘no’.”

“I’d rather not,” Jackie chuckled dryly. “Listen, I gotta send some business emails out before the girls start coming in. You should go pack for your little getaway tomorrow.”

Nicky nodded and kissed the top of her head. “I will bring you back a souvenir.”

Jackie wasn’t left alone with her thoughts for long, not a minute after she finished her emails, she looked up to see Gigi walking in and sitting down on one of the chairs. But what caught her attention was their body language – they were looking down, fiddling with their hair, and swinging their legs. “What’s wrong, Geege?”

Gigi sighed and looked up. “Okay, like, this is stupid and whatever, but Crystal thinks I should tell you that I think a client I had a couple of weeks ago is stalking me. I made a composite sketch,” they explained, opening their messenger bag and pulling out a piece of paper. “Do you think if I give this to Kameron, she could make sure he stays out?”

“Gigi,” she said firmly, “that isn’t stupid at all. This is serious. Did he hurt you? What happened?”

They groaned, knowing this would happen despite any attempt to avoid triggering Jackie’s maternal instinct. “He kept asking about the VIP room and I decided I could use the extra cash. So, we were in there and I told him I’d give him a handy and he was like, okay cool. But after he paid for that he kept trying for more and was being really creepy about it, so, I left. He just… really didn’t like that I blew him off instead of blowing him. He found me on Instagram and started harassing me there, kept making fake accounts after I blocked them and he figured out where I go to school.”

Jackie’s eyes widened in horror. “Geege, this isn’t a matter for Kameron, it’s for the police.”

“But I hate the police,” they crossed their arms and whined.

“We all hate the police, but this is a serious safety risk. Kameron can’t follow you everywhere to keep him away. I need to know that he won’t get the opportunity to hurt you.”

Gigi sighed, chewing on their lip. “I don’t wanna give him that power over me, I don’t even wanna waste the time or energy,” they explained. “But fine, just for you though, okay?”

Jackie smiled graciously. “Thanks, kiddo.”

After Jackie had taken Gigi to file the report, she had offered them the night off, but Gigi defiantly insisted on performing, though after one set, they found themself tired, laying on the common room couch.

Jan sat cross-legged on the floor beside them. “You know, gorge, it’s okay to not be okay. That asshole put you through a lot. I had to take off a week after… you know, the incident. We’re in an industry that can attract real creeps, we gotta put our mental health first.”

Gigi shook their head. “Your incident was different, it got physical. The only time this guy touched me was to try to push down on the back of my head.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Denali chimed in, sitting on the arm of the couch. “It’s about boundaries. You made yours clear and he kept crossing them. And you don’t know what this dude is capable of, any of us would be scared in that position. I’ve dealt with a stalker too – he never touched me, but I sure as fuck didn’t feel safe.”

“I just don’t see the point in dwelling on it. Feeling shitty about it isn’t gonna make it go away,” they replied.

Jan frowned, putting her hand on top of Gigi’s and squeezing gently. “It’s not healthy to ignore your feelings either way. It’s better to work through it than let it manifest into some nasty shit.”

“Who gives a fuck about feelings?” The three of them looked over to see Lemon stumbling into the common room, setting a freshly-emptied glass on the counter. “And who gives a fuck about men? All they do is get in the way and think the world revolves around their ugly dicks,” she ranted, a bit of slurring in her voice.

“Speaking of what happens when you ignore your feelings,” Jan muttered under her breath, then turned to face Lemon. “You’re not getting back on the pole tonight, are you?”

Lemon furrowed her brows. “Why wouldn’t I? I still have one more set,” she scoffed. But when she started to walk towards the other dancers, she stumbled, nearly losing her balance on her already precarious six-inch heels.

Denali and Jan exchanged concerned expressions. “I’ll call Rosie to come and get her,” she said before Jan could suggest it, turning on her heel and going to get her phone from her locker.

Gigi, meanwhile, nearly got whiplash from how fast their head moved back and forth from Jan and Denali to Lemon. “You know,” they said to Jan, “maybe I should start working through my feelings. Even therapy seems like a better alternative to…” they gestured to Lemon, “that.”

“As her friend, I feel like I need to intervene, but I think anything short of breaking up Pri and her fiancé is going to be a waste of time,” Jan mused as she watched her sit on the floor and struggle to take her heels off, cursing and whining quietly. “Something tells me things are gonna get worse before they get better.”

“Maybe,” they shrugged. “Lemon’s stubborn and possibly a little unstable… she might need to hit rock

#rpdr fanfiction #taste of poison paradise #joley #lemyanka #brooke x kameron x vanessa #jan x nicky #jackie x jaida #lemon #priyanka #jan sport #nicky doll #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #kameron michaels #jaida essence hall #jackie cox #lesbian au #smut

4 notes · View notes

probably-writing-x · 4 years

Text

Admittance pt.7

Guzmán x Reader

Gif is not my own

Requests are open

As Christmas break ended, it felt like the end of a strange haven that you’d found yourself living in for the past weeks. You’d spent every waking moment with Guzmán and had managed to work well with this understanding of ‘difference’ between you. You weren’t just friends or co-parenting... but you weren’t dating. It was just different. It had been discussed as it was on Christmas day and then left to settle in it’s own manner ever since then. You couldn’t complain. Guzmán, as you’d come to learn, was every bit a good man when he was around you. But you were heading back to normal now as soon would be starting again. And you were starting to realise more and more that your future would be completely changed over the next months. You couldn’t keep living in this haven.

“Are you seriously going to stay silent the whole time?” Guzmán questions from beside you as you’re walking up to the school gates, “What’s going on today?”

You glance at him and force a little smile, “Just thinking through some things.”

“Well, think through them with me please,” He raises his brows, “I don’t like all this weird silence.”

“What am I going to do about school, Guzmán?” You sigh, “My due date is basically right before we should be getting ready to graduate.”

“Then we’ll see what the school are willing to implement to make sure both of us still can graduate,” He confirms, so seemingly sure of himself.

“I don’t think that’s going to be possible,” You shake your head, “Maybe I just won’t graduate. I could look into doing some online cou-”

“No, (Y/n),” Guzmán stops as you’re nearing the doors, “Either we both graduate or neither of us do, we’ll talk to your Mum and figure out what we can do. Okay?”

You nod as though it’s the only way you can satisfy his heart and he turns back towards his path. You’re not as sure as he is. You won’t be able to finish the year, and your Mum’s status as principal could only get you so far. But Guzmán clearly hated the idea of you thinking like that, and there was something about those eyes that made it possible to want to disagree with him.

“Now, what do you want for dinner tonight?” He looks at you with a grin and, so easily, he has gone back to being the boy that now managed to calm all of your worries.

- - - - - -

“I’m just past twenty weeks now,” You explain to Samuel as he is sat behind you in class, “We went for the scan and everything’s looking good.”

“Have you found out if it’s a boy or a girl?” He asks, glancing up as Guzmán walks into the classroom after he’s spoken.

“Yeah, we did, Guzmán couldn’t wait,” You laugh, jumping a little as Guzmán squeezes your shoulders from behind you.

“Can we tell him?” He beams excitedly.

So far, you’d only told his Mum, and your own, along with Ander and Omar, and Nadia just before she’d flown back to New York. With every person, it seemed that Guzmán’s smile grew a little wider.

“Yeah, sure, if you want to,” You smile as he sits down in the seat next to you.

With that, he settles an arm around you so his hand falls onto your growing bump and turns to his friend with a bright grin, “We’re having a girl!”

Samuel smiles, “Congratulations guys! I’m so happy for you.”

You’d been surprised at Guzmán’s reaction to having a girl, you’d always pictured him being more excited about having a son and having a little mini me. But when the doctor broke the news that he was going to father a little girl, the look on his face had been basically priceless. You’d capture it into the locket around your neck if you could. He was so utterly happy from the bottom of his heart.

“Thanks man, and I’m sorry I haven’t been around much recently,” Guzmán reaches up and clasps Samu on the shoulder, “We need to catch up.”

“How about you two go out for some food, a few beers, or something?” You suggest, “I promised Ander we’d have an evening together soon anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Guzmán raises his brows, “I’d love that man if you’re up for it.”

They discuss a time and a place and it’s a relief to see Guzmán doing something close to normality as they plan to meet up at the end of the week. Sure, he could be a parent, but he also deserved to be an eighteen year old guy beyond that.

“Have you thought of any names for girls?” Samuel asks, smiling as a greeting when Omar and Ander walk in.

“I still don’t see the problem with Andera,” Ander grins as he sits down in his chair, “Named after her favourite uncle.”

“Omara, Omara,” His boyfriend encourages, setting his books down onto the table, “I’ll definitely be her favourite.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to split up so I can get rid of you,” Ander rolls his eyes jokingly, “What names do you actually have?”

You glance at Guzmán momentarily and shake your head, “We haven’t really spoken about it. But we’ve got plenty of time for ideas.”

The conversation settles into typical chatter as you try your best to remain comfortable in your seat at a desk that you no longer fit at with ease. Another way where you felt you stuck out like a sore thumb at school, where you no longer just fit in. It was minor, of course. But you were taking things like this as opportunity to realise more and more of just how much would change in the coming months.

- - - - - -

“So, it’s then these electrons from here and here that pass through the chain and cause phosphorylation to occur at this point here,” Guzmán runs through the poorly drawn diagram on his page, tapping different points along the way, “Did I get that right?”

“Guzmán you’ve been through it six times, you’re doing fine!” You laugh, “Again, that was perfect.”

He grins and taps his pen against the desk, “Alright, alright, what did you want to do instead?”

You sit up from where you’d been laying on his bed, “I don’t know really.”

“Well, we can go out somewhere?” He suggests, walking over from where he’d been sitting as his desk, “I’ll take you out somewhere nice.”

“You don’t have to do that, I thought we were just ordering in tonight,” You look up at him.

He reaches out his hands to help you to your feet, “Let me take you somewhere nice, it’s been ages since you’ve been out for a nice meal. Come on, I won’t take no for an answer now.”

Thankfully, you’d already practically moved half of your clothes into the house after how much time you’d been spending here. You dismiss yourself to get changed and choose a simple black dress that hugged your figure and clearly accented your bump but wouldn’t mean that you would be uncomfortable- as you found more and more clothes were at the moment.

“Alright, I’ve just called ahead and made a reservation so-“ Guzmán stops as he walks back into the room where he’d left you to get ready, “Wow.”

“What?” You laugh, brushing your hands over the fitting material of the dress that came down to your thighs.

“I’ve just never seen you in a dress like that before.”

“You’ve seen me in a dress,” You frown, “I used to wear dresses at parties all the time.”

“Yeah but I never actually saw you then. You look beautiful,” He seems bashful as he says the word that seems so natural when he says it.

“Well, I’d love to thank you but it keeps bunching up around my bump weirdly,” You sigh, tugging at the material as you try to make it look somewhat better.

He walks over and stands behind you in the mirror, hands settling over yours on your bump to stop your movements, “It looks great, okay? Honest.”

You narrow your eyes at him in the reflection, “I don’t appreciate lies Guzmán.”

He laughs and turns you around, “Ready to go?”

You nod and don’t overthink it too much when his hand locks with yours.

- - - - - -

When you arrive at the restaurant, Guzmán is all parts a gentleman. He holds open the door, takes your jacket for you and helps you into your seat even if you are more than capable of doing it yourself. In the Japanese style restaurant, you’re seated on long squared tables that focus around the chef in the middle who cooked your meals right in front of you. You’re surrounded by different people you would never know and there’s a welcoming atmosphere as soon as you’re settled.

“So we just order and then he makes it right in front of us?” You frown, looking down at the menu in your hands.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Guzmán chuckles, “You’ve never been here before?”

“Never,” You shake your head, smiling politely at the young couple that take their seats beside you.

“Wow, I really should’ve brought you here before. This is like my favourite place,” He grins, “I should’ve brought you here last summer.”

“Guzmán, last summer we were hardly at a dating stage last summer. We never intended for any commitment from those few weeks,” You remind him.

He looks down bashfully, “Maybe I should’ve done.”

You turn back to the chef as he starts cooking up some starters and Guzmán settles a hand on your leg so easily. The couple beside you strike up conversation as they ask about the food before turning to the evident focus of your unmissable bump.

“How far along are you?” The girl asks, a dazzling ring on her finger suggesting she was far more developed in her relationship than you were, despite you being the pregnant one.

“Twenty one weeks,” You reply, “We’re having a girl.”

She smiles at the reveal, “Thats amazing! Congratulations!”

“You’ll give her ideas now,” Her husband jokes and she turns back to him as they evidently converse about their own future plans to have children.

“It still sounds crazy hearing you say that,” Guzmán mumbles as you turn back to him.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re having a girl, it makes it all sound so much more human,” He chuckles, “I actually wanted to run something by you about that.”

You match his stance as your hand falls onto his leg too, like you can be just as natural as he is about simple affection.

“When Samuel mentioned about names, I was thinking maybe her middle name, or one of them, could maybe be...” He stops and swallows the lump in his throat as his Adam’s apple bobs, “Could be Marina?”

You let a warm smile heat your features as you nod gently at his suggestion, “I’d love that, Guzmán.”

“Yeah?” He visibly relaxes as relief washes the tension out of his shoulders, “It would mean a lot to me, and my Mum I’m sure.”

“Of course,” You smile, leaning in and kissing his cheek, “It’s perfect.”

- - - - - -

It’s as you’re leaving for the night, belly’s full from some of the best food you’ve ever tasted, when you’re stopped by an older couple just about to leave. They’re middle aged but the woman appears in all ways to be trying to make herself seem younger. You can’t blame her really.

“Excuse me,” Her voice is posher than you’d ever be as you and Guzmán turn at the sound of her beckon, “Are you two married?”

“I’m sorry?” You frown a little, trying to place this woman as somebody you might know if she was asking questions like that.

“Are you married? You’re having a child, correct?”

“No, no, we’re not married,” Guzmán shakes his head, wrapping another hand around where one of his hands was already locked with yours.

“You’re not,” She scoffs, “And you believe you’re fit to raise a child?”

You’re stunned. You’d never expect someone to be so forward in their judgement, so unphased by their outward disrespect. That’s when words fail you.

“You’re barely done being children yourself!”

“You’re right, we’re not married and we don’t plan on being married any time soon,” Guzmán cuts in, standing upright like he was ready to become completely defensive. You feared his emotion overtaking him.

That’s when you interject, “We’re not sure we’ll be perfect parents, but nobody ever is. But I can promise you, him and myself one thing - together, we’ll raise a good hearted child. One that learns to be accepting of everybody and every situation, and even if they don’t understand it, they’ll respect and appreciate every person, every definition of family that they encounter. And they’ll learn that their parents did the best they could with the situation they had. And they wouldn’t have changed it for the world.”

You’re shocked at yourself but no more stunned than the woman opposite who is now being swiftly ushered away by her waiting husband. But nobody is more taken aback than the boy who’d slackened his grip a little on your hand. You were never one to speak up much, except when Ander wound you up or somebody insulted somebody close to you. You never really outwardly stood up for yourself like that. It was like he’d just seen a switch flip before his eyes and you’d become somebody he’d not expected. Somebody be damn right adored.

“God! Some people! What gives her the right to-“

You’re cut off on your beginnings of a rant as Guzmán turns and crashes his lips firmly against yours. He cups your cheek as you stumble back and he catches a hand on your waist to stop you from falling back any further.

“What was that for?” You laugh, flushed as he pulls away.

The corners of his lips simply curl up and you see a look warming his eyes that you’ve never seen in anyone looking at you before. You couldn’t exactly define it. But it was different.

- - - - - -

When you return to school the next day, it’s like you and Guzmán are back to being wrapped up in that invincible bubble again. You were now treating his house more and more like a home. And every night felt like a little pocket of reassurance that you really were more capable than people expected.

Those kind of heavens never really last long around here though, do they?

“(Y/n),” Your mother’s voice calls you over from the door of her office.

You turn around from where Guzmán had been making you laugh about something he’d seen in the corridor and smile, “Hey Mum!”

“I need to speak with you for a moment, both of you,” She states, her professional voice shining through rather than the way she’d normally address you.

That always meant something serious.

You glance to Guzmán who settles a hand on your back, “Yeah, sure.”

He looks at you cautiously as you both follow her back into her office. There, you’re met with two of the board members sat either side of your Mum’s chair and two empty chairs on the opposite side that are evidently meant for you and Guzmán.

You take a deep breath and sit down opposite the expectant eyes.

“Guzmán, (Y/n), I’m joined by Cecelia and Christian from the board of governors. They’ll be here to discuss, along with me, your future here at Las Encinas (Y/n),” She looks directly at you and you can see the guilt shining in her eyes.

Evidently this was one of those moments where her authority wasn’t enough to give you a free pass. The board wouldn’t let any special treatment pass this time.

“As we’re all aware, both of you have already re-taken your final year at this school, due to the extenuating circumstances that you both experienced when approaching graduation last year,” Cecelia speaks up, “Guzmán, we believe your current grade average and progress since last year give us enough certainty that you’ll be more than capable of finishing and graduating at the end of this academic year.”

You glance over to him but his eyes are completely focused on the trio ahead, evidently waiting what would come next.

“(Y/n), however, it is in our understanding that your due date will be approaching in May - which will be before the end of your school year. This will mean you’ll be unable to sit some of your final exams and will also mean you miss the last, and most important, part of your school year. It is in the boards understanding, therefore, that you won’t be able to graduate this year.”

Guzmán breaks his stare to glance at you and you catch his eyes for a prolonged moment.

“You may be able to retake next year, if this is a possibility for you - considering you will now have a baby to consider come September when the next school year would begin. Alternatively, there are plenty of online schooling opportunities you could do that would not hold as much of a high standard as the Baccalaureate but most certainly would provide a much easier pathway for you.”

“Online schooling? Excuse me but (Y/n) is one of the brightest students in this year,” Guzmán pipes up, “Surely there’s some way you could still get her to graduate?”

“Guzmán,” You say in a tone nearing somewhat warning.

“I’m sorry Guzmán but it does not currently seem possible, in time with (Y/n)‘s pregnancy and her previous track record.”

“Track record?!” Guzmán scoffs, “You mean her having to retake a year because her brother had cancer?”

“Guzmán, please calm down,” Your Mum sighs, looking to you with pleading eyes.

“You’re not even willing to fucking try!” He raises his voice a little, slamming his hands into the armrests of the chair, “You’ll just throw her to the curb as soon as she’s pregnant? Is that how little you think of her?!”

“Guzmán!” You raise your own voice now, grabbing his arm until you pull his attention to you.

He knew he’d already crossed the line and, in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to track back and never go close to crossing it.

“This meeting is adjourned. We’ll reconvene at another date, and I don’t believe we will need Guzmán in attendance next time,” Christian states coldly, adjusting the lapels of his jacket as him and Cecelia stand to exit.

“I’ll show you out,” Your Mum encourages, following the pair of them out of her office.

Leaving just you and a calming down Guzmán.

“I’m sorry (Y/n)... I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that,” He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“I know you’re just trying to help me out, but I won’t have you jeopardise your own future by trying to fix mine,” You state, standing up from the chair, “I’ll handle this on my own terms Guzmán.”

“(Y/n)!” He calls as you go to walk out of the office.

“Guzmán I’m serious,” You say, refusing to turn back to look him in the eye.

“So you’re just going to let them throw you out? Not even try to give yourself a future?” It’s wrong. He shouldn’t have said it. It’s not what he meant. And he’d never been good at that. But it’s too late now.

81 notes · View notes

dangan-happy · 3 years

Note

[Okay, hear me out: Another killing game. Huh? Whaddya think?] ,, so this one is for Mikan or Chiaki. I keep feeling like shit or just tired constantly, over the last week or so specifically. I have to be awake during the day to take care of my little brother, when.. I'm hardly ever awake to take care of myself. I feel like I don't have an excuse to be doing poorly anymore, despite how I also feel like I'm disintegrating and that all of my friends either don't like me or shouldn't like me because I'm awful - even though I know full well that I've never done anything wrong.. As much as I wanna, I don't even know how to book a therapy session because the sites ask "Oh, what's wrong :0" and I don't even know what to tell them, so I immediately give up..

That’s super lame, having to be up early to watch over a younger relative sounds like a pain to deal with. Especially if it’s constant, I couldn’t bring myself to be up for the job. I already fall asleep randomly, yeah, definitely not something I would enjoy either.

I can’t exactly say I know where you’re coming from myself but my player two has experienced something like that. He doesn’t have the best sleep schedule, and sometimes he has to watch relatives too. And he either didn’t sleep or is running on an hour or so of sleep. As for wanting to seek help in a therapy session, lets focus on the fact that you do want this to happen but always end up giving up. There lies the problem, you give up easily about the idea because you don’t know what to answer with when you’re asked what’s wrong. To my knowledge, you don’t need to sign up via websites, however, don’t quote me on that. It could be different depending where you are, I’m just trying to understand from my experience. Now, you don’t know what to say when you’re asked what’s wrong, and that’s okay! You don’t always have the answer right up front, you aren’t obligated to explain yourself unless you feel comfortable enough to do so. Forcing you to explain anything when you’re unprepared could lead to you being more closed up than before. Then the problem will be even more severe than it currently is, hopefully that makes some sense. Now, you don’t need to be really detailed when you’re on a site and seeking to sign up for a therapy session, perhaps just a summary of what’s going on in your life or how your mentality currently is.

I’m not sure if this is my place to say but I think you should put what you’ve told me. That you’ve been feeling down and feel like your friends don’t like you. These seem like good topics to bring up in a session too, it’s a good start to venting out any bottled up anger that you have harboured for the last few weeks. And depending on your age Anon, you could always just book an appointment with your doctor and let them know that you’re interested in having a therapist to speak to. The reason I say it’s depending on your age, is because being an adult seems to be easier than being a minor. Not all parents are too keen on therapy. Which is sad because everyone has the right to get the help they need. So depending on your situation, I would talk to your doctor or if you can’t, your parents. But don’t feel obligated to follow my advice okay? Pressuring you into doing something that you don’t want to do isn’t going to happen, this is just my input after all.

Take care Anon, I really hope things improve for you.

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #chiaki nanami #mod karma

1 note · View note

nuggets-and-french-fries · 4 years

Text

Taking Chances: Chapter Eight.

Note: I want to say an absolute huge thank you to @cilldaracailin @softeggsy and @hitmeonmytspot for helping me with this chapter.

I hope that you all enjoy this!

===

A few days later, Taron was doing better and that was all thanks to Tina and her willingness to stay with him and Mikey.

It had been hard for Taron to let his family in after everything, but if the last few days had taught him anything, it was that he had to let people in and that it was ok to accept help when you needed it and boy did he help.

The man had asked his mother to take Mikey to school while he went to finally visit his in-laws. To say that he was nervous was an understatement. He hadn’t seen her parents since Kate died because it was simply too hard.

Today was the day for change, not only for his sake but for Mikey’s as well.

“It’s good to see you my boy. It’s been far too long.” Dave said as he opened the front door to see his son-in-law.

Dave gave Taron a hug and pat his back.

“Something smells good.” Taron said nervously as they broke apart.

“Jennifer’s been baking all morning. She wanted to have morning tea all ready for when you arrived.” Dave said, walking into the kitchen with Taron behind him.

“Look who's here.” Dave announced.

Taron stood in the doorway with his hands nervously tucked into his pockets, not knowing how the woman would react after all these years

Jennifer turned around and warmly embraced her son-in-law.

“Don’t look so scared. Come give me a hug.” She said, holding her arms out ready for the embrace she was so eager for.

“I’m so sorry for everything.” Taron apologized as his voice cracked.

“No need to be sorry. I can’t imagine how hard it was but I do wish that you had called us more often. We’ve missed out on our grandson growing up.” Jennifer replied as she broke the hug.

She could see the tears in his eyes.

“Oh my dear boy. I’ve missed you.” She said, embracing him one last time.

“I’ve missed you.” Taron replied.

The adults visited for a while before Jennifer decided to go and get a couple things that she knew Kate would want Taron and Mikey to have.

“Thank you for coming and thank you for the pictures of our grandbaby. He’s one beautiful kid and that’s all thanks to you.” Dave said as he pat Taron’s shoulder.

“Thank you for allowing me to marry Kate.” Taron responded with a small smile.

“It was clear to us that the both of you were so in love. She chose well, just as we knew she would.” Dave answered.

Jennifer soon rejoined the men and presented Taron with boxes made special by Kate.

“Thank you for everything today, I really do appreciate it all.” Taron thanked, giving his in-laws a hug each before heading back to the car.

Two hours later, Nicola was sitting in her car trying to think of what to get Taron as an apology for treating him so poorly.

“What do I get for him!” Nicola groaned out loud.

“KFC’s always a good choice.” Kate said from the backseat.

Nicola hit her steering wheel a couple times before agreeing with her inner voice and went to KFC.

“At a girl.” Kate praised with a wide smile.

It didn’t take Nicola long to get everything she needed for the apology but then it dawned on her, where in the actual hell did this man live?

Just as she stepped out of the food place, two women walked past her talking about a house with blossoming rain lilies out front.

“They were always my favorite.” Kate replied.

Nicola smiled to herself. She remembered driving past that house once as she took a shortcut to work one morning.

“He’s not long home but he’d appreciate the chicken. Save him from almost burning the house down again.” Kate giggled.

Because there was hardly any traffic, Nicola made it to the house quicker than she thought she would.

“Here goes nothing.” She said as she set the food down and knocked on the door.

Nicola took a step back and waited for an answer.

“Can I-” Taron began before realizing that no one was there.

As he went to close the door, a gentle breeze picked up and rustled the plastic bag.

Taron looked down and saw the take away bag.

He smiled to himself as he bent down to grab the food.

“Thanks mam.” Taron said, loud enough for Nicola to hear.

She coyly stepped forward and Taron’s smile immediately fell from his face.

“Before you say anything, please hear me out?” She asked, nervously fiddling with her fingers.

Taron could hear the genuine tone in her voice.

“I was making tea.” He replied.

Nicola shrugged.

“No, it’s ok. I don’t want to interrupt. I just wanted to drop that off as an apology for how I’ve treated you.” The woman responded.

Taron nodded friendly.

“Come in.” He said, standing to the side.

The woman slowly walked into the house and stood in the entryway awkwardly. “Ok.” She said.

“Can I take your jacket?” Taron asked as he came back from the kitchen.

“Yeah s-sure.” Nicola stuttered.

Taron hung up her jacket and led her to the living room.

“I’ll be back with the tea.” He said.

Nicola smiled in response.

“Take a seat, I’ll only be a minute.” He continued before walking away.

Sitting down, Nicola felt nervous and on edge, not knowing what his response would be to what she had to say.

She wanted to offer her help but with not knowing his name and knowing that the name Taz pissed him off, Nicola decided it was best if she just stayed quiet and tried to get her thoughts in order before he came back.

“Thank you for being willing to hear me out. I really do appreciate it.” Nicola said as Taron placed the tray of tea down on the coffee table.

He gave Nicola a tight lipped smile.

“Be strong Nicola, you’ve got this.” Kate whispered as she watched from the other end of the room.

“How do you take your tea?” Taron asked as he doctored up his own cup.

“Same as you.” She said with a smile.

When he was done making up her tea, he passed her a cup and sat down.

“So, the real reason I came here was to hopefully start over.” Nicola admitted.

“Go on.” Taron said, waiting for her to continue.

“Can I be honest with you?” Nicola questioned.

Taron shrugged defensively.

“You were right, I have been a bitch but-” She began before Taron rolled his eyes.

“There’s always an excuse, isn't there?” He sassed.

Nicola looked down and bit her lower lip.

“I know there isn’t a reason for you to believe anything I say, but I’m trying to explain myself. I know that I was awful.” Nicola replied, looking up at him.

“The first time I met you, I had literally just been granted custody of my little sister and it was a really rough morning. I was annoyed and I took that anger out on you.” She explained.

Taron quirked his brow.

“And that’s the truth is it?” He replied.

Nicola lightly scoffed.

“Why would I lie, I’m not like that.” She answered.

“When I was 3, my grandparents were granted custody of me because my mother was and still is a drug addict and would sleep around almost all the time. It got so bad and she’d leave me on my own for long periods of time.” She explained, running the tip of her thumb around the rim of the cup.

Watching her, it became clear that she was being truthful. Taron still remained defensive but respected her for opening up to him.

“When I heard that my mother was doing that again to my little sister, I knew I had to give Jasmine a chance at a better life but to do that I had to move from my one bedroom flat to a two bedroom and then had to fight my mother on everything.” She finished.

Taron closed his eyes and sighed.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“I know I’ve acted like a bitch but I’m really not. I know I’ve been awful to you and there is no excuse for that. I guess I just wanted you to know that I’m a nice person under all of that.” She explained.

Taron nodded.

“And I know that the way that I handled our last meeting wasn’t right and I feel so guilty. I had no idea that you were married and had I been in my right mind, I would have just slapped you and walked away.” She chuckled slightly.

“I’m not married.” He said, shocking himself as well.

“But you’re wearing a ring.” Nicola pointed out.

“I mean I was married but not anymore. She died.” Taron answered.

“Shit, I feel even worse now.” Nicola said.

Taron surprised himself by laying a hand on top of Nicola’s.

“Please don’t feel bad. To be honest, you calling me Taz took me by surprise. My wife used to call me that and I hadn’t expected to hear anyone else use the name.” He explained.

“Right, I get you. I’ll make sure I don’t do it again. Sorry.” She promised.

“Don’t be sorry. You couldn’t have known.” Taron replied, slightly warming to her.

Before either of them could say anything else, Pickles took his chance and climbed up Taron’s leg.

“Hello you.” Taron greeted, scooping up and petting the furball.

“Who’s this cutie?” Nicola asked.

“This is Pickles.” Taron introduced.

Nicola giggled.

“Pickles. Cute name.” She said.

“My son picked the name.” Taron stated.

“Does he like pickles?” Nicola questioned.

“His favorite tv show is the Rugrats.” The man said with amusement

“Let me guess, he likes someone from the pickles family?” Nicola wondered out loud.

“Yeah, Stu apparently reminds him of me.” Taron answered sadly.

“You can say no but you look like you could use a hug.” Nicola noted carefully, really not wanting to undo her apology and make him feel uncomfortable again.

“How about we just start with names.” Taron replied, not feeling quite ready for any kind of intimacy from another woman.

Nicola smiled.

“Sounds good. I’m Nicola.” She said warmly.

“Taron.” He replied.

“Nice to meet you Taron.” Nicola said.

“Nice job Pickles. You’re a good ice breaker.” Kate said as the feline walked past her and toward his food bowl.

Back at the nursery Mikey and Jasmine were busy painting when Ivy marched up to them ready to paint herself.

“Let me know when you’re finished Ivy.” The assistant teacher said as she finished securing Ivy’s paint smock.

“How are you two doing?” The teacher asked, looking at Mikey and Jasmine.

“Good thank you.” Jasmine answered for both of them.

The teacher nodded and went back to the other kids that were playing on the play set.

“I need it.” Ivy said as she snatched the blue paint brush from Mikey’s hand.

“Hey, I was using that.” Mikey whined slightly.

“But I need it.” Ivy replied, painting a flower.

Mikey frowned and pouted.

Jasmine rolled her eyes.

Mikey went to grab the brush back but Ivy was faster and connected her teeth with Mikey’s upper arm; biting him hard.

Tears immediately grew in the little boy’s eyes and cried.

“You’re mean.” Jasmine shouted before walking over to where the assistant teacher was breaking up another fight.

“Excuse me?” Jasmine said as she pat the teacher’s leg.

“Yes kiddo?” The older woman replied.

“Ivy bit Mikey and he’s crying.” Jasmine explained, making Miss. Jameson roll her eyes.

“Thank you for telling me. Let’s go.” Miss. Jameson said.

Jasmine and the teacher quickly walked over to Mikey and saw Ivy trying to bite him again.

“Ivy Howell. That’s quite enough thank you.” Miss. Jameson lectured.

Ivy jumped.

“Both of you inside now.” The woman said calmly.

Ivy went inside first and Mikey followed with Jasmine beside him.

“Jasmine, can you please stay with Michael?” Miss. Jameson asked.

The little girl nodded, got her friend a tissue and gave him a hug, being careful of his arm.

Standing in the kitchen with Taron, Nicola looked at her watch and saw that it was time to pick up the kids.

“Thanks again for the chicken.” Taron said.

“Thank you for listening to me.” Nicola replied with a smile.

“Well I suppose it’s time to get the kids.” Taron announced, putting the freshly washed tea cups back in the cupboard.

“I don’t mind picking them up and bringing Mikey back here. If you want.” Nicola offered.

“Thanks but that’s ok. I’ll get him.” He replied.

“To save petrol, do you want to maybe, go together and get the kids?” She asked.

Taron thought about it for a few seconds.

“I have two car seats.” Nicola offered.

“Sounds good.” Taron answered.

Both of them headed toward the school to get Mikey and Jasmine.

“So, two car seats?” Taron asked as he looked in the backseat.

“Jasmine’s very indecisive and likes switching sides every time we use the car. One came with her and I bought the other one after being told that I had to.” Nicola explained.

“Interesting.” He replied, looking out the window.

“You can find something you want to listen to on the radio.” She suggested.

“No, that’s ok. The silence is nice actually. It beats having to listen to nursery rhymes all the time.” Taron said.

“Oh my gosh I know. All I seem to hear is the bloody paw patrol theme song. It drives me crazy.” Nicola added.

“Definitely.” Taron mumbled, making Nicola smile for the millionth time.

When they arrived at the nursery building, Jasmine spotted them and ran out to them.

“Mikey’s crying.” The little girl said.

Both adults hurried inside and went straight to where Mikey was still trying to calm down.

Nicola saw Miss. Jameson holding an ice pack on Mikey’s arm and saw red.

“Wait here. You, come with me.” Nicola said, pointing to the assistant teacher.

Both Taron and Jasmine looked at each other. They could hear how angry she was.

“Hi buddy.” Taron said calmly, kissing Mikey’s forehead.

Mikey reached for Taron, wanting to be held.

“What happened?” Taron asked the little girl by his side, knowing that Mikey wasn’t going to answer.

“Me and Mikey were painting and Ivy snatched the blue paint brush. She bit him when he tried to get it back.” Jasmine explained and Taron too saw red. This wasn’t the first time that the child had caused problems.

“Can I see it Mikey?” Taron asked his now calm son.

The little boy shook his head from its hiding spot in the crook of Taron’s neck.

“How hard did she bite him?” The father asked.

“There wasn’t blood but you can see teeth on his arm.” Jasmine answered.

Taron nodded and rubbed his son’s back, letting him know that it was going to be ok.

“Do you think we should go over there?” Taron questioned.

Jasmine looked over at her sister and saw her and how angry she was.

“Up to you.” She answered, shrugging.

Nicola, finally having had enough, stormed back to her sister and Taron.

“Go get yours and Mikey’s things please.” Nicola huffed.

Jasmine hurried off.

“M-mr. Egerton, we need you to sign t-this.” The teacher stuttered, feeling very nervous around Nicola who had her brow raised in warning.

“Something needs to be done about this child.” Taron remarked as he took the pen from Mrs. Graves.

“I think I got it all.” Jasmine said as she returned just as quickly as she left.

“Thank you Jas.” Nicola replied, taking Mikey’s bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

Taron finished signing the form and shot the teacher a warning glare before leaving with Nicola and Jasmine in tow.

“Right, which side are you sitting on?” Nicola asked as they approached the car.

Mikey looked at his dad with confusion.

“Nicola and I both came to pick you and Jasmine up.” Taron assured his son, not knowing how Mikey would feel after what happened a few days ago.

“Mikey can choose first.” Jasmine said, hoping to make her friend smile.

“Behind my daddy.” The boy mumbled.

“Alright.” Nicola said, getting her sister settled in while Taron got his son comfortable.

Once everyone was settled, Nicola drove off.

The kids were quiet in the backseat, Mikey falling asleep from all the crying he had been doing.

“How about we get some food. I’m guessing that little one of yours could eat.” Nicola suggested.

“Sounds good to me.” Jasmine piped up with excitement.

“How’s the little man doing?” Nicola asked her sister.

“Sleeping.” Jasmine answered simply, looking out the window.

“I can’t believe that child. Honestly makes my blood boil.” Taron commented gruffly.

“Mine too.” Nicola replied, turning down a very familiar road for Taron.

He didn’t want to let on but he had a feeling that Nicola was going to his aunt’s cafe.

“You ok if we eat here? I heard the food was really good.” Nicola questioned as she parked.

“Mikey loves it here, plus people are right, the food is really good.” Taron responded, trying not to let his smirk show too much.

Nicola got Jasmine out of the car while Taron woke his son up.

“We’re going to see aunty.” The father whispered, hoping that the woman didn’t hear him.

He wanted to see Nicola’s reaction when she realized who he was. She clearly had no idea.

“I want pickles.” Mikey said before a yawn escaped his lips.

“You can see pickles when we go home.” Taron replied.

“Ok, let’s go.” Nicola said, all four of them crossing the road.

Just as they reached the door, one of the waitresses saw Taron.Taron quickly put his finger on his lips and glanced at the two women behind him.

The waitress nodded and went on with wiping a table.

“What do y-” Nicola said as her eyes landed on a huge movie poster.

Thank goodness the cafe was pretty much empty, which was odd for the time of day it was and for the fact that people seemed to flock to it.

“Why are you on there?” Jasmine asked for both herself and a very speechless Nicola.

Taron smiled and Nicola turned to look at him.

“Yeah, why are you on there.” Nicola questioned, slightly miffed.

Mikey lifted his head from Taron’s shoulder and looked at the women.

“He’s in movies.” Mikey answered as if it was no big deal.

Nicola’s jaw dropped and Jasmine just stared at Taron.

“My aunt owns this cafe, that’s why the posters are on the wall.” Taron admitted.

“Cool.” Jasmine said.

Nicola on the other hand was still silent.

Mikey giggled at the look on her face.

This was the last thing that Nicola was expecting.

===

Tag List: @sarahegerton96 @softeggsy @jobanan23 @hitmeonmytspot @cilldaracailin @hauntedflamingo @superthiccthighssavelives @aberystwythboy @stronglyobsessed @holdmeclosertinytaron @rocknrollmadden @dogmom2014 @fuseburner

#dad!taron #Single Father #taking chances #its just pickles

13 notes · View notes

dellikay · 3 years

Text

Arnold Chiari Malformation Blogs: How it all began & getting a diagnosis

This is the first in a series of blogs where I’m going to be writing about my experiences with Arnold Chiari Malformation (ACM, as it will be referred to from here on out), ranging from how my condition suddenly worsened and made it itself known, all the way to present day and how it affects me now. These will all be likely very long posts, but there is a lot of information to share and it is all integral to address, so that people reading this who don’t know much about the condition can understand exactly what the condition entails and how it feels to actually have it. I’ve split the whole ‘story’ into five parts and will be working to get those typed up and released as soon as possible. What I want to start with is how my condition made itself known to me, having laid dormant internally for 15 years of my life and the ordeals I went through to secure a correct diagnosis. It all started on a perfectly normal day - I was playing Simon the Sorcerer 3D (I’m blaming the game for it all because it was bloody awful and broken beyond all belief) on the family computer. I got to a part of the game (among many others) where the game had glitched and I couldn’t progress any further. I accessed a walkthrough online and read how to navigate around the glitch. I then started to feel nauseous. I tried to carry on as normal, but the intensity of the nausea increased rapidly and I had a really massive headache, one of the worst that I had ever experienced up until that point in time. I had to give up on my game and laid down flat on the settee. Before long, I was having major coughing fits and had to run to the toilet to be violently sick. This, of course, made the headache worse, so I ended up making up a bed on the settee and having to stay on there. I was too weak to do anything and I kept having to rush to the toilet at the drop of a hat to be sick over and over again. After a few days, my other symptoms from what we assumed was the flu started to subside but I was still being violently sick multiple times a day and had agonising headaches that lasted all day and all night. I assumed the headaches were an issue because of how often and how forcefully I was being sick multiple times a day. Months passed and I was still the same. I’d been to see my then GP a couple of times since regarding what was happening to me. Because I had been diagnosed with OCD and depression from the age of 11, he immediately assumed that my symptoms were a physical manifestation of my mental illness, so just upped my dosage of whatever I was on at the time and sent me on my way. I was going to college by this time, after I had to leave secondary school due to being bullied to the point of...well, not being in a very good state of mind, I’ll just put it that way. Somehow, I managed to attend classes and go when I should do and even went on a trip to Alton Towers with the group I was in there, all the while getting worse physically, having to excuse myself from lessons suddenly to go and be sick and having headaches so bad that I had to lay my head down on the desk. Walking to and from college (which was literally a ten minute walk from my house) become more perilous as my balance became affected...on one occasion, I was crossing the road and a car was approaching faster than I anticipated. I tried to run the rest of the way over but my legs immediately collapsed from under me and I fell flat onto the road, about six feet in front of the car. Thankfully, the driver had seen what was going to happen and had the foresight to slow right down. However, I couldn’t get myself off the road because I was dizzy and my legs didn’t want to cooperate and no one stopped to help me or to see if I was alright. I walked the rest of the way home in tears. I didn’t know what was going on and was obviously shaken from what had just happened as well as the sheer rejection from the public who just acted like I was invisible even though I was in dire need of help. Sadly, after a few more months of this deterioration, I had to stop going to college because I was too poorly to make it through lessons and the journey to and from college was way too risky. From one end of the day to the other, I laid flat on the settee and was just enveloped in a complete world of pain. I persisted with my GP, insisting that there was something physically wrong with me, as opposed to it all being ‘in my head’ (ironically) and that the medication he had put me on my own wasn’t doing anything to stop the headaches or the vomiting. He wouldn’t listen to me and even got cross with me at one point and basically told me to stop putting it on to get attention. I felt defeated - I KNEW my own body and I KNEW that there was something very wrong but no one would listen to me. I could see and feel that it was getting worse. My balance became worse still, my weight had plummeted because I couldn’t keep any food in my system, I was still being sick multiple times a day and by the end, just bringing up water because my stomach was empty. I was accused of having an eating disorder and once again, doing this all to myself for attention. My headaches had got so bad that one time, I was laid on the floor in the living room because my head was too painful to stand or even sit up and suddenly my body started to move of its own accord. It was like I was rolling down a hill but I was on a completely flat surface. My body kept trying to roll to the side as if to balance itself if I was on a slope. It was completely out of my control and certainly one of the scariest parts of pre-diagnosis. I phoned for an appointment with my GP again, ready to stand my ground and insist once more that my symptoms were the result of something physical. I was angry, in incredible pain 24/7, weak, scared and I just wanted to be heard. When I went to the doctors, not feeling the most confident, I was told that my GP was off that day and I would be seeing one of the junior doctors instead. This made me feel a tiny glimmer of hope but I repressed it just in case he was of the same mindset as my regular doctor and he also accused me of being an attention seeker. When I was called into his office, I took a seat and I was asked to describe my symptoms. As I told him, the doctor started to look more and more concerned. He did some balance tests on me, which obviously I was incapable of completing and within five minutes, he told me that in no uncertain terms that my symptoms were way too severe to be merely a figment of my imagination and that he agreed that there was something physically wrong with me. He told me he’d book me in for an MRI. Finally. Someone listened. Someone believed me. I cried, partly from relief and elation that I had a chance of being saved from whatever it was that was destroying me from the inside out - and partly from fear because there really, truly was something wrong with me. Something seriously wrong with me, according to the doctor I had just seen. The following few months are a blur to me and I can’t remember any real details about what happened or the order in which things happened. I just remember going to Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham multiple times, being prodded and poked and being sent for more scans and then I saw a man who warned me that no matter what a man called Mr White said to me, I should REFUSE to have brain surgery. Under no circumstances should I listen to what he was saying and carry on as I was. He also asked me outright if I thought I had an eating disorder (basically, that I was causing myself to be sick and lose all of this weight - which was getting on for four and a half stones (63lbs) by the point - and made me feel like I had to concede that there was a possibility that could be the case, even though I knew it wasn’t. Of course, being in the sorry state that I was, I couldn’t understand this path of logic and neither could my parents. It turns out the Mr White was one of the leading brain surgeons in the country, specialised in rare brain conditions and would be the one to perform my surgery if I consented. We (as in me and my parents) met him shortly after and well, basically me and Mum fell in love with him. Lol. He was very softly spoken, gentle and kind - completely different to the man we had seen previously. Mr White was the one who told me I had Chiari Malformation Type 2 and what that meant. I was 18 years at the time (bear in mind my symptoms had started when I was 15) so he took his time with me, was very patient because he could see how terrified I was about what he was telling me and told me everything I needed to know and answered any questions I had. He explained why I was experiencing the symptoms I had and how the surgery would at the very least hopefully stop the progression of them getting even worse. He also told me that alongside the ACM, I also had hydrocephalus (water on the brain) and this was putting extra pressure on my brain and squeezing it into an even tighter space. This also meant I had a rare version of a rare condition (as it was known now - the classification of the illness has now been upgraded to ‘uncommon’, which means it’s not as rare as once thought but often misdiagnosed) so any surgery that would be carried out on me was not guaranteed to have the same level of success as if I hadn’t had the hydrocephalus. In fact, my cerebellum (the part of the brain that controls the nervous system, balance and coordination and reactions to external stimuli) had been wedged behind the top few vertebrae of my spine, which was what was causing the disabling headaches. Despite what the other man had advised me to do, I agreed to the surgery. There was no other way I was going to get better. It was scary either way and the decision was completely mine to make. Mr White was extremely concerned as he could see how poorly and fragile I was and was pushing for me to have the surgery before Christmas (I think we went to go and see him at some point in November). However, I was frightened and I just wanted one more Christmas before going through such a huge life event. I wasn’t sure I’d make it out the other side so I wanted just one more big celebration. Even though he wasn’t best happy with me wanting to wait until after Christmas, he agreed but he said he would book me in for as soon as possible afterwards. Basically, time was of the essence, I had a ticking time bomb in my head and it could have detonated at any second. I was too young and too frightened to understand at the time but me choosing to have the surgery a month or so later than was wanted by the surgeon could have cost me my ability to walk entirely or my life if my health had taken another slump.

#rare illness #Arnold Chiari Malformation #chiari #brain surgery #chronic illness #surgery

3 notes · View notes

pucking-insane · 4 years

Text

Gotta Get Back By Christmas

Player: Jack Hughes Word Count: 2219 Warnings: Christmas and mild cursing

Ever since the Hughes family moved in next door to you when you were fifteen, your families had always spent Christmas and Christmas Eve together. And even though the Hughes family was Jewish and Christian, you still celebrated both winter holidays.

“You know, honey, a watched pot never boils.” Ellen said as you stared out the Hughes’ window waiting for your boyfriend to come home for Christmas.

It was Christmas Eve at five in the afternoon and you were still waiting for Jack. He had played last night in Chicago and he should have flown into Detroit hours ago.

Jack Flight got delayed again, I hope to be in by 8

There was a snowstorm barreling through the upper midwest and Chicago seemed to be the next victim. Jack’s flight, which should have taken off at nine this morning, had already been delayed by six hours.

You only had limited time to spend with your boyfriend before he had to be back in New Jersey and these delays only shortened the time you got to spend together. To be quite honest, it pissed you off. In all reality, the next time you would be able to see Jack after Christmas was your spring break, and that was a long way away.

Quinn, on the other hand, had played a home game last night in Vancouver and was able to catch a red-eye into Detroit shortly after the game had ended. Luckily, he missed all of the snow and didn’t have a single delay.

Your Dad and Jim were watching TV in the living room and Luke and Quinn were most likely playing Chel on Luke’s Xbox in his room. Your mom and Ellen were cooking dinner like they did every year. You were sitting on the Hughes’ couch not really paying attention to anything other than the fact that Jack wasn’t home yet.

Jack was the only one missing and it really made you upset. You had a huge surprise for Jack that you had planned on giving to him tomorrow and it would just break your heart if you couldn’t give it to him on Christmas.

Jack Finally boarding…

Y/N YES

Jack Should be in Detroit in the next 2.5 hours Have to turn on airplane mode I love you…

Y/N To the moon and back

“Jack is finally taking off.” You tell everyone at dinner after your phone buzzes.

“Wonderful!” Your mom says, knowing that you’ll at least somewhat engage in the conversation now that you knew Jack would be home by eight.

Even though Jack wasn’t home, you still continued with your Christmas traditions. You, your mom, and Ellen did the dishes as the boys went outside of a game of street hockey.

Once the dishes were done, the ladies would sit in the living room and talk until the boys came inside.

“You okay?” Ellen asked you after noticing that you kept checking your phone every thirty seconds.

“I just miss Jack. I haven’t seen him since November when I went to Vancouver and even then we didn’t have much time together.”

“I know, honey,” Ellen says wrapping you in a hug. Ellen was like a second mom to you and so moments like these were really special to both of you. You were the daughter she never had.

“I mean we text all the time and I’m distracted with school a lot, but seeing Alex and Cole all the time makes me miss him even more.” You were a freshman at the University of Wisconsin studying Kinesiology. Being at Wisconsin allowed you to be with your friends from the NTDP, like Alex Turcotte and Cole Caufield. You were crying into Ellen’s shoulder at this point, just wanting to be cuddling with your boyfriend.

You three ladies talked for another hour before you finally got the text you had been waiting for.

Jack Flight just landed, see you soon

“Hey, Jack just landed. I’m gonna see if Quinn and Luke want to come with me to pick him up.”

“Okay, honey, drive safe.” Your mom told you.

You put on your jacket and grabbed your car keys.

“Dukes! Q!” You yelled as you walked out of the house. “Jack’s flight landed and I’m gonna go pick him up. You guys coming with?”

“I call shotgun!” Luke yelled as he raced to the garage to put his hockey stick away.

The half-hour drive to the airport was full of laughter and poorly sung Christmas songs including “All I Want For Christmas Is You” and “Santa Tell Me.”

When you reached the airport pickup line, Quinn took over the driving so you could go inside and wait for Jack.

Your eyes scanned the baggage claim area, looking for your boyfriend. When your eyes met after two minutes of searching, your feet could only run towards Jack. He dropped his bags as you leaped into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“I missed you so fucking much,” Jack whispered as he held you.

“Not nearly as much as I missed you.” You whispered back, tears streaming down your face. “I was literally crying in your mom’s arms I wanted to see you so bad.”

You let go of Jack and jumped to the ground. His steel-blue eyes stared into your Y/E/C ones and he pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss was passionate yet gentle. Neither of you wanted the moment to end so you only pulled away when neither of you had any air left in your lungs.

“I love you, Y/N,” Jack whispered as he pulled away.

“I love you more.” You stood on your tiptoes and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. You smiled up at your loving boyfriend. “Now let’s get you home. Everyone’s waiting for you.”

“Oh thank God you two are back.” Quinn sighed as you opened the back of the car to put Jack’s bags in the car. “We were thinking y’all were making out in baggage claim.”

Both your face and Jack’s face went red at Quinn’s comment.

“So you did make out in baggage claim!”

“You know you would do the same thing if you didn’t get to see Victoria for months on end,” Jack smirked, knowing he was pushing buttons.

“Victoria?” You raised an eyebrow at Quinn as you got into the back seat of the car with Jack.

“Victoria’s his girlfriend out in Vancouver,” Jack smirked, knowing he revealed something that Quinn didn’t want him to.

“Whatever.” Quinn scoffed as he started the drive back to Plymouth.

When you got back to Plymouth, you helped Jack bring his bags inside. Jack greeted his parents first and then said hi to your parents.

It was around 11 when the eight of you stopped talking in the Hughes's living room, or solving the world's problems as you like to call it.

Your parents went home, leaving you, Jack, Quinn, and Luke to your annual Christmas Eve sleepover.

“No funny business, ok, baby girl.“ Your dad said as he kissed you on the top of the head. You just rolled your eyes.

The boys grabbed the thick blankets that we go on Jack’s floor for Quinn and Luke to sleep on. You and Jack would sleep on his bed, while Quinn and Luke slept on the floor.

You made some popcorn for the four of you to munch on while you talked. Everybody situated themselves in Jack’s room after you all put pajamas on. For you, your pajamas consisted of Lululemon joggers and one of Jack’s USA hockey sweatshirts.

“Who you texting?” You ask Quinn, who had his eyes glued to his phone.

“No one.”

“He’s totally talking to Victoria,” Jack smirked.

“Oh yes, Quinny’s mystery girl.” You said with a giggle. “Tell us all about her.”

“Well, her name is Victoria. She’s a student at the University of British Columbia, but she’s originally from Ottawa.” Quinn explains.

“How’d you meet her?”

“So during the home opener, I accidentally shot a puck into the crowd and it nailed her right in the head. She was treated by the team doctor and in between periods, I went to make sure she was okay and I made sure she got home safe, asked her out and the rest is history.” Quinn told you, a smile on his face.

“You really like her don’t you?”

“I think I’m in love with her, to be honest. We only started dating like two months ago, but everything just feels natural with Victoria.”

“I know the feeling,” Jack said, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek.

“You two are disgusting,” Luke said after pretending to throw up.

“One day, you’ll feel this way about someone and you won’t think it’s disgusting.” You point out to Luke.

“Yeah,” Quinn agrees. “So is there a girl? Or a guy? We’re fine with either.”

“First of all, it would be a girl,” Luke explains, a blush spreading across his face. “And second, no, there’s no girl. Just hockey.”

“Aww come on Lukey, you’re no fun.” You pouted.

The four of you carried on in your conversation until you dozed off in Jack's arms.

When you woke up on Christmas morning, your head rested on Jack’s chest. You could feel the rise and fall of every breath, which only made you want to fall right back asleep. Jack has his arms wrapped around you, keeping you close to him.

Quinn and Luke had already gotten up. The alarm clock on Jack’s nightstand read 8:30 and you figured your parents were already over, so you decided to get your butt out of bed. Only problem, Jack’s death grip didn’t allow you to move.

“Jack.” You whispered. “Come on, baby, time to get up.”

Still nothing. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. You started close to Jack’s ear and placed a kiss on the edge of his cheek. Your lips traced his cheekbone until you got to Jack’s lips. You felt Jack’s breath hitch and Jacked kisses back.

“Damn, can I get a wake up like that every morning?” Jack said groggily.

“Sorry, Jack.” You giggled. “Now get up I need my coffee.”

You crawled out of bed and made your way down to the kitchen. Your parents were already over, sitting in the living room with Ellen, Jim, Quinn, and Luke. You made yourself a cup of coffee with the Keurig and situated yourself on the floor by your parents.

“Jack coming?” Jim asked.

“Yeah.” You took a sip of your coffee. “You know how much of a zombie he is in the morning.”

All eight of you sat around the Christmas tree, passing out presents to each other. When it came to your turn to give Jack his present, you handed him one of the biggest boxes under the tree.

He tore open the festive paper and opened the box to expose three smaller boxes.

“Open the big one first.” You instructed him.

He took the biggest present out of the box and opened it to reveal a red and black jersey.

“Babe, this is my jersey.” He cocked his head in confusion.

“I know.” You say with a slight smile. “Open the bigger one.”

He gently opened the second box.

“A plane ticket?”

“Look closer.”

“No way.”

“Wait what?” Luke questions. “What’d you get?”

“You’re coming to Jersey?” He looks at you with tears in his eyes.

“We’re on the same flight out of Detroit tomorrow night.” You said with a huge grin on your face. “I also talked with Nico and got it arranged for me to go on your next roadie.”

“I love you so much.” He pulled you closer to him.

“There’s one more.” You mentioned to him.

Jack opened the last gift, a letter addressed to you.

“Dear Y/N,” Jack read. “The Rutgers University Admissions is pleased to offer you admission as a transfer student for Spring 2020.”

Jack said nothing as he picked you up and spun you around.

“I didn’t think it was possible to love you more.” He said, tears streaming down his face.

“Are you happy?” Ellen asked her son.

“The happiest.” He said pulling you in for a kiss. “Now my present for you is going to look silly.”

“It could never.” You replied.

He handed you a long, slender gift, the kind of gift that was most likely expensive and either silver or gold.

You gingerly tore the paper exposing a black velvet box. You looked towards Jack, who still hadn’t stopped grinning, and he gestured to keep going.

Inside the box was a silver chain with a few pendants. One was a dainty compass, another a J, and a small disc that read “No Matter Where.”

“Jack it’s gorgeous.” You smiled, feeling your eyes fill with tears.

“You like it?”

“Jack, I love it.” You smiled more, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

When all of the gifts were unwrapped, it was just you and Jack left in the living room.

“So you’re really coming to Jersey?” He asks, obviously still in shock.

“I’ll be moving in for the spring semester, yeah.” You smiled.

“I can’t believe you.” He smiled back.

“I love you so much.” You pulled Jack in for a kiss.

“To the moon and back.”

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #nhl devils #usntdp #writing #hockey imagines #hockey #christmas

145 notes · View notes

valiantrunawayelle · 3 years

Text

Memoirs

FOR COMING HOME AGAIN

Supply the information being asked. (1 point each)

1. What was the illness of Chang-Rae Lee's mother?

His mother’s illness is Gastric Cancer or Cancer in the stomach.

2. What sports was his mother good at?

His mother is good at playing basketball.

3. What was his father's profession?

Chang-Rae Lee’s father is a doctor.

4. How old was he when he left home for school?

He was 15 years old when he left home for school.

5. How many siblings does he have?

He has one sibling.

Based on your understanding of the text, answer the following questions. (5 points each)

1. What were the similarities and differences between Chang-Rae Lee and his mother?

Throughout "Coming Home Again," one significant similarity between the mother and son is the love of cooking authentic Korean foods. From his childhood, the author will often stand next to his mother as she cooked to soak up her techniques. We can see that even after his mother's death, the narrator chooses to cook food for him and his father. Another similarity between the son and the mother is that they are both quiet to each other. They often talk and open their hearts to each other. Another thing is that they both love each other silently.

On the other hand, the difference between them is that the mother cooks more deliciously than her son. Another difference between them is that the son always vulgarly hurts her mother's emotions, but her mother continuously acquires optimism whenever she faces her son.

2. Describe his relationship with his mother. Provide specific examples.

The strong bond between them through learning how to cook good food, through playing basketball, and through cooking food while talking about minimal things in life made them somewhat distant from each other because the more they preserve each other's feelings of care and love, the more that they are somewhat disconnected. One example is that when his mother asks endless questions about his school for an hour or two, he did not talk much, and he did not answer that much. One more thing is about him going to boarding school, his mother insisted on it, but he does not want to go because he wants to take care of her. Their relationship is being somewhat disconnected to protect each other from heartbreaks and pain.

3. How did his mother feel about Exeter? Cite examples.

The author enables a detailed view of how he feels about his mother before moving to Exeter. Leaving home to Exeter made him feel weary against her mother, and a flashback makes her point to the reader. His mother thought she made a big mistake when she let her son go to Exeter and live without them. It is seen in the text that the mother did not know that she was going to die, so she let him be with a school that will provide a massive opportunity for him.

4. What is the significance of food in the essay?

In Chang Rae Lee's memoir "Coming Home Again," he mentions food as a means to recall the relationship he had with his mother. It is a symbol of their love for each other amidst such misunderstandings. Food was a connection to them. As a son, he often wanted to spend time with his mother and learn to cook. Even after his mother's death, he became the one who cooks food for his father in memory of her late mother.

5. Why do you think did he entitle the essay "Coming Home Again"?

For me, the essay is entitled "Coming Home Again" because it states the hardships and homesickness of being away from one's family for great opportunities in life. Like Chang-Rae Lee himself, he became a little more distant from his family after going to boarding school. One more possibility that it was entitled as "Coming Home Again" is the main reason that he comes home some time is for her ill mother. The very last time that he came home, her mother already died.

FOR THE GLASS CASTLE

Supply the information being asked. (1 point each)

1. How old was Jeanette when she was hospitalized?

Jeanette was 3 years old when she was hospitalized.

2. Why was she hospitalized?

She was hospitalized because of her serious burn caused by cooking hotdogs.

3. Who are her siblings?

Her siblings were Lori and Brian.

4. What was the name of their pet dog?

Juju was the name of their pet.

5. Where was Jeanette going when she saw her mother at the Dumpster?

She was going to a party.

Based on your understanding of the text, answer the following questions. (5 points each)

1. Contrast the hospital and the Walls' home.

The difference between Wall's home and the hospital is that their house smells like smoke and whiskey. Also, basically in their home, no one cares for Jeanette. On the other hand, at the hospital, it smells nice and fresh, as she described. The nurses also care for her to the point that one of them gives her chewing gums to encourage and cheer her.

2. What does it mean to checkout, "Rex Wal ls style"?

To check out "Rex Wal ls style" is to check out from the 6 months of her treatment in the hospital without paying anything and without acknowledging everyone. It is stated there that the nurses told Rex to stop running towards their car with Jeanette. Basically, this means that the child is either safe or not yet paid to the hospital bills.

3. What was Jeanette's reaction when she saw her mother at the Dumpster? Why do you think did she feel that way?

Jeanette felt rattled, which means irritated or nervous, after seeing her mother at the dumpster ready to hoise some things or food. For me, she felt that way because she wanted to give the best to her mother. Jeanette was going to a party at that time and saw her mother looking for food at a vast trashcan. She felt irritated because she can provide for her mother, but her mother does not want anything from her, and also, Jeanette is afraid of her friends that they will judge her because she is rich, but her mother is hoisting something to eat from a dumpster.

4. Contrast the way of living of Jeanette (as an adult) and her parents.

Jeanette (as an adult) is living a wealthy but not-so-wealthy life with her husband. She can buy what she wants and can provide from what her own family needs. On the contrary, her parents are living through making the best from the street to feed their stomachs. They are looking for food from the dumpster, and they are also recycling things from it. In short, Jeanette is living comfortably while her parents are living poorly.

5. In their meeting at a Chinese restaurant, Jeanette's mother advised her two things:

(a) that she should accept them (her parents) as they were and

(b) that she should tell people the truth about them

Do you think Jeanette heeded her mother's advice? Explain your answer.

Based on my opinion, Jeanette did not heed or follow the pieces of advice from her mother because she is now an adult who can decide things in her life. She wanted to change and to help her parents from living hardly and poorly in life, but they don't want any help or money. Jeanette wanted them to live happily and satisfyingly before they die, but her parents don't want to do so. For me, I think that she did not follow her mother's words and continue to persuade them until the end to live a comfortable life through her help.

#books #writing #poetry #personal essay

1 note · View note