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[earnmoneyonlinesblog]

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[bank-america]

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[skateboardtotheheart]

i forgive but won't forget

#watcher #they walked it back and did the right thing #they big time fucked up and they're recognizing it #and its no secret how much shane and ryan do actually care about their audience and even with the script #you could tell they felt awful #we'll call it a severe momentary lapse in judgement #forgive but never forget #they do have to seriously earn trust back from their audience #and steven should not have been the only one to take business classes and shane and ryan should fix that #watcher entertainment #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #ghost files #weird wonderful world #puppet history #too many spirits

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3

some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it

#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While #you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive! #but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot #and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book #i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive #im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings #by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it! #life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that #its so nice to drive and actually see things #beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography... #instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather. #i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive #absolutely unprompted #i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts! #and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect! #now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage #ive Earned It! #you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing! #you're here today! Yippee! indulge! #im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works! #my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3 #( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN. #sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things #and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering #the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things #idk man. i think about this issue all the time #if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc? #it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize #in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate #ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me #i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there #he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with #idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now #bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was #and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse #and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy #scopophobia / #scopophobia #eye contact / #eye contact tw

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency #adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid #then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!! #everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others #rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you #make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing #or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult #yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred #like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn #so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you #anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds #so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask #like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and #his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking #doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie #and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it #(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me! #and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead! #and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is. #but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’ #like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid #who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it. #i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow #anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness

[bethanyactually]

NACE APPRECIATION WEEK 2022 DAY 4: Nace + Other character(s) Nancy x Ace + Florence

#naceweek #nancydrewedit #ndcwedit #naceedit #nancy x ace #nancy drew cw #naceweek2022 #ace [redacted] #nancy drew #florence ndcw #bethanyactuallyedit #bethanyactuallynaceweek2022 #this is a bit late but I didn't get the idea till late on day 4 #inspired largely by the fact that I am obsessed with the shot in that first image from the mark of the poisoner's pearl #as they're walking away from florence ace is on the passenger side and nancy on the driver's side #does that mean ace let nancy drive florence? his arm is in a sling so maybe he did #he was hardcore trying to earn her trust back at that point I guess

[pastrygeckos]

Lmao sorry not sorry that I don't open the door when the police knocks at 1 AM, I'm too busy being naked in bed after taking Nytol and knowing my rights

#one time in norway they just fucking walked right into our flat while we were sleeping #bc the drug-adjacent neighbour had the same first name as me #that's kinda traumatic ngl #you've only earned bad will from me boys #acab #essentially terrorists

[earnmoneyonlinesblog]

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[fuwaprince]

When somebody only uses my chosen name while putting me down, it kind of makes me wish I didn't have a name at all.

And when somebody only uses my pronouns when they try to coerce me into something, then switch back to they/them when talking about me to anybody else, it kind of makes me uncomfortable af.

I sincerely do not enjoy being labeled or referred to. Being referred to is such a negative experience for me irl.

Yet not giving people a set of name/pronouns when they ask automatically seems to make them think you're secretly a serial killer trying to cover up something?????? Or like you're untrustworthy and must be hiding because you're a Bad Person instead of just not wanting to label yourself.

Can I just please not be forced to label myself for everybody else's comfort?

I feel like that information is so personally intimate anyways like unless you know me and we're close, why do you even care? I don't think it's necessary for the first stages of getting to know somebody even though in this culture we've normalized it to be that way.

Plus if I don't give you a name then I have the opportunity to earn one. Give me a name that you think I deserve and let it be what you honor me by instead! How about that? It's probably the only way I'll be comfortably perceived since some people will change my labels as they see fit regardless. Just call me what you like, I feel like my name/pronouns have been corrupted as is

#i feel weird about having a name and a gender and pronouns assigned to me.... such a weird thing to make a big deal #i mean it's a big deal as in you need to write names down for job apps #and when i walked in to request for emergency aid the person looking at my case asked for my pronouns #which just felt so irrelevant and it didn't make me feel any more respected #and i can tell some people are so uncomfortable using the pronouns that i say are mine that they'll opt out for ones they give me instead #which is like WHY DID YOU ASK IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO DO THAT ANYWAYS #silly things just don't make sense and to me they bring more trouble than they're worth #those things have been used as weapons against me so why keep giving ammo yk? #also i like the process of earning a nickname #one time this girl got offended that i reffered to her as snake girl the second time we met and i was like??? #imagine being offended that somebody remembered you for having 4 corn snakes instead of using your boring old name #like when people call me fuwa i feel like they're honoring me as a blogger #i get it i get it this culture is just so strictly uncreative and boring #if i had a cool new name from each person who knew me i would be so cool with that #like if somebody i met found out i liked sasuke and then started referencing to me as sasuke boy i would actually be so happy #idk dude #also sorry to that girl for calling her snake girl but honestly her loving her 4 snakes actually felt more significant to me than her name #in other cultures they refer to parents as “[insert child's name]'s mom/dad” and it's actually seen as being so respectful #like it's the family bond that gets honored instead of the individual and idk maybe some people take that to be a negative thing but #imagine as a parent loving your kid so much and then everybody identifies you as the parent who loves their kid #maybe that's dehumanizing in a sense idk #i see it as an honorable thing to be bestowed by others #yeah maybe people can be mean and call you “poop boy” for the one time you shit your pants while drunk #i get not liking being called “poop boy” but like dude... you're a legend and the story behind you earning that name would be legendary #idk i guess it's all about perspective #i don't know if I'm making sense #feel free to share thoughts #late night blogging

[chirpsythismorning]

📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹

I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

#stranger things #bizarre love triangle playlist #el hopper #el's pov #i was so happy when i re-listened to this alongside the lyrics when looking for songs from el's pov #'at first i was afraid. i was petrified. kept thinking i could never live without you by my side' #all season long we saw el experiencing heartache over mike and how it led to her feeling insecure as if it was all her fault #she was convinced that if mike didn't love her then she couldn't be happy #'but then i spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and i grew strong and i learned how to get along' #el spending time away from mike at nina along with all the months of doubt prior to their fallout now having validation... #it wasn't just her loving and falling out of love with mike over the course 3 days #it was her realization that their relationship has been deteriorating for a while now and coming to terms with that in 3 days #'and so you're back from outer-space. i just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face' #this is the main line that reminds me of her brushing past mike and will in the cabin #probably a little more harsh as this song is pretty harsh in terms of the singer not being capable of seeing her ex as even a friend now #but el's earned some harshness after what just went down #that doesn't mean they'll never overcome this #it just means there is still a serious need to confront it which wont be super pretty #and then the forgiveness and acceptance can only come after that #'and you see me. somebody new. i'm not the chained up little person still in love with you' #oooooo get him! #'you think i'd crumble? you think i'd lay down and die?' #sort of reminds me of the assumptions not just mike has but also most of the audience #they think it would be impossible for mike to end things with el bc she would be so broken hearted and she doesn't deserve that #which of course she doesn't #but maybe el knows what she deserves... and it's more than what mike is able to give #'i've got all my life to live and i've got all my love to give and i'll survive. i will survive.' #she's not going to go on forever being hung up on something that wasn't what she deserved in the first place #she will survive ya'll #4x09

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Gonna try food delivery tonight and am nervous but thinking about the potential instant gratification of having money immediately

#once i make my first few trips i can gauge it better and see how i actually feel about it #I'm sure it's not that bad; i just need to give it a shot and see where i end up #i can have pretty much immediate access to my funds too and wanna make sure i do that frequently #so if something happens and I'm locked out i still have my earnings #genuinely hope this works out!! i uh. deconstructed a lot of my life this month and wanna try some new stuff #and i can walk away from this if i don't like it #I'm just. i have to start it and that's making me a little nervous lmao #shai speaks

[arolesbianism]

Y'know Im not even gonna pretend to get ppl complaining abt the new skill trees because it makes Wilson less unique or whatever. Like there's plenty to complain abt with the skill trees, but you have to understand that the actual abilities Wilson gets from them are still unique, and still quite powerful in some cases. He rly isn't losing anything he hasn't lost by getting a skill tree in the first place, and in particular he could have a lot of use for certain speedruns and at worst is situational, which in itself means he's gained a unique role as a character. He doesn't need another new rework now or anything, the only rework Id want is a rework of the skill trees in general, Wilson is genuinely going to be just fine don't worry

#rat rambles #dst #my main problem with the skill trees is that it only encourages the bare minimum #like idk I feel like if I could turn on godmode and walk away from my computer and unlock everything its probably not great game design #like I get whay theyre going for but Id kind of preffer if doing certain character related tasks effected it or smth #mainly I like the idea of having to work to unlock your mains full potential #obviously not too much like an exp system would suck absolute ass but idk maybe certain tasks can shorten the timer #or maybe to unlock certain branches of the skill tree you have to meet a prerequisite first like the lunar and shadow trees #not as demanding as defeating celestial champion or fuelweaver ofc #like for a rly simple and easy example maybe wilson has to make an alchemy engine before being able to unlock his alchemy skills #and fer higher tiers he needs a shadow manipulatoro or smth #idk even simple stuff like that would at least encourage the player to do something while waiting around yknow? #like imagine a hyothetical wurt skill tree that unlocks as you expand your army making it more self sufficiant #just lil things youll probably be doing anyways but still makes it feel a bit more like youve earned smth for playing the character well #instead of just sitting there until you can unlock everything #I just worry that the skill trees are gonna feel too flat with the current system :/ #I do rly like a lot of wormwood's stuff tho and I like that theyre attempting to find a compramise to making characters more powerful #without just handing you a broken character right off the bat #I just think it could use some work and Im not 100% sold on the skill trees being smth thatll improve the game in the long run #like Im sure it wont like ruin dst or anything I just think it might end up as a thing that makes new players have a more boring earlygame #experience especially if certain trees become like the standard for most players #I want it to be Fun unlocking things yknow? #idk Ill still be hyped if/when wortox gets a tree bestie needs the extra depth so fucking bad #he has so much potential pls let him have this #also rip to woodie for being eternally kind of mid Im not expecting his tree to effect his general ranking much tbh #it basically just gives him early game usefullness and some slight buffs to his other forms #the fact that you can only master one form at at time especially sucks ass tho tbh #like his weremoose form Needs the buff so so bad but the goose teleportation might end up the go to pick #I am a huge fan of the treeguard summoning tho #I also hope they just man up and give the wood helmet 80% reduction idc just let him have this klei

[loveoaths]

my toxic trait is getting irrationally angry when someone implies din’s religion and the covert are inherently abusive/backwards, based solely on bo-katan’s comment and the popular belief that orthodoxy = evil.

#choosing to follow The Way is not depicted as abusive. If anything din and the COFTW are shown as being honorable in an honorless galaxy #and while din’s journey now includes his re-evaluation of what it means to be a Mandalorian in relation to his faith #the fan assumption that the resolution MUST be him walking away from it is frustrating #are watching the same show. are we perceiving things the same way. #he may choose to walk away from TCOTW once/if he learns the true history of Death Watch #but even then TCOTW wouldn’t be wrong to follow. the tenets of it that we’ve seen in the show are true and have guided him well this entire #time. idk man i’m annoyed that ppl are making the same argument that a faith with rules and guidelines (which all of them have) is bad by #default because it’s the same argument people make with the Jedi. because romantic love and attachment are earned away from #people jump straight to ‘this is evil!’ when there are many real world religions that do this #and real world people who accept and agree with those rules as parts of their faith #a rule is not the same as a demand or being forced to do something. #at any point din could walk away from TCOTW same as a jedi could leave the order #Same as a nun can leave a convent and a monk can leave a monastery #the entire point is that those places try not to force you to be there #you have to want to give something up to GAIN something. a connection to something bigger. #that’s literally what faith is and lmfaooo I’m done ranting but good lord the prevalence of these takes gives me a rash #walkie talkie. #reference: din.

[ruegracieuse]

O stand, stand at the window    As the tears scald and start; You shall love your crooked neighbour    With your crooked heart.

— W. H. Auden, 'As I Walked Out One Evening', in Another Time (1940)

#auden #w h auden #as I walked out one evening #mine #quote #rehabilitating this from the J*hn Gr**n book that quoted it copiously #because it is actually a good poem #although you really need to read the whole thing to really feel and earn this bit

[astrangeroftides]

I’m graduating this week and I definitely didn’t have a breakdown over what to wear (under my black grad gown so NO ONE WILL EVEN SEE IT) but I got some pink cargo pants so all is well.

I never actually thought I would graduate from university so this just feels wild and overwhelming to me

It’s especially funny that I’m getting a degree in fine arts because I can’t draw for shit! What arts?

#just me having a freak out #I cried walking home from the studio 3 times last week #I earned this! #I got an email last week about winning an award as the most outstanding designer in my class #which had me sobbing again