"What if I fade?"
Soap lifts his head from his journal, looking up at Roach who is eerily floating near the ceiling. The slow movements almost make him look like he's in water. Kind of ironic given the way he died.
"What do you mean?" he asks, confused.
"What if I move on, what if I disappear," Roach elaborates, refusing to meet his eye. "Not everyone is a ghost, right? We'd be overly crowded. The fact that we're not also means that not every ghost stays."
Soap forces his dry throat to swallow. He honestly didn't want to think about that. He still needs Roach, he probably always will, but he hasn't even told him that he - he takes a deep breath in to calm himself.
"I don't know how it works," he admits quietly, bouncing his leg absent-mindedly. "You're probably right, like most of the time. Even if I really want you to be wrong about that."
Roach finally looks towards him.
"Maybe I should move on," Roach whispers. "It's not healthy, Johnny. You have no idea the things I want, what I wish for, that I'll never get."
Soap doesn't stand up, just keeps staring into Roach's eyes.
"I think I might have an idea, actually," he whispers back. Roach flounders for a moment. Soap really wishes he didn't get that wrong. He's pretty sure Roach meant that he can't have Ghost, and he himself can't have Roach. So... It's pretty similar.
"I've been feeling less like myself recently," Roach insists, deciding to ignore that comment for now. "I find myself wishing one of you would die so I wouldn't be alone. I never thought like that before, I fear that I may have stayed too long, that I'm starting to lose myself."
And he looks scared. It's written on his features so clearly and it breaks Soap's heart.
"You're not alone," he swears. "I'm here with you, and I'll make sure you stay you, however I can."
Roach looks at him, examining his face, looking for... something. Whatever it is, he seems to have found it because he exhales through his nose like a very soft laugh and averts his eyes, almost... blushing? It's a bit hard to tell from the distance and his left cheek being covered in burns while his right is covered in freckles, but he's pretty sure his ears are red.
"You can't look at me like that, Johnny," he says almost coyly. "I can't do anything about it, it's not fair."
Soap's face is burning and his eyes are wide. Was he too obvious? Did Roach understand or is he joking?
They probably look stupid, both of them redder than a fire truck, avoiding the other's eyes, regretting their words. Or at least he supposes that it's what's happening, because he's sure not looking up.
"If it makes you feel better," Roach finally says, sounding like he's smiling, "you were right for once : I am right most of the time. Judging by your reaction, you did indeed have no idea what I want."
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people dont write wheatley mean enough, ive decided. like, he's an asshole. that's a huge part of his character. YES he is also pathetic and a fucking loser who i could drop kick.
that's why he's an asshole.
he's mean and self-centered and uncaring because that is how he has always been treated.
he frequently calls you brain dead, he throws out the idea of turning you in to GLaDOS' so he can live, he spends a full minute insulting children and calling manual laborers stupid - because that's how he's been treated. he was made to be stupid, he was abandoned by his creators because they didn't care, and then he's insulted time and time again by being called a moron when, if you actually look at the game from his perspective, he's the one who's did all the work!!
he has been kicked, insulted, almost killed and ignored his entire life no SHIT he's more than happy to turn those exact same actions onto other people without any sort of care for their feelings. no one's ever cared for his?? so why should he??
people either have him as a stammering uwu little baby who's either completely helpless or a creep or they make him super over confident when he's neither. yes, he stutters and yes there are times he's embarrassed but that's because he overthinks and has a hard time putting things into words. he is fucking terrifying, yes, but it's not because he's confident. it's because he's willing to do anything just to prove he can.
wheatley is so mischaracterized it hurts and it makes me so upset. this game has been out for ten years and i need my guy to be seen as the actual nuanced character he is.
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I'm reading Real Life by Brandon Taylor right now (love btw) and it's basically showing me in real time what I've thought about prose for a while as someone who mainly learnt from writing "flowery prose"
Brandon is really good at having this smooth, precise prose that I think really works with the type of book Real Life is ("slow" plot, only covers a few days and really sinks its teeth into small moments about relationships across those few days). But I think he's also really good at knowing when to go deeper with the prose and when to keep it simple. Like there's this part that sticks out to me because there's a line that literally is like "the grass is very green and very straight" and all I can think about is how in a lot of writing advice I've encountered about prose and descriptive writing, that would be used as what not to do. That you should use something more "interesting" than something like "very green". But in this scene it worked really well for me because it fit! IMO it suited the rhythm of the scene, the vibe, what the focus was on, the narrator's character voice. The scene already had a lot of atmosphere, emotion, conflict, urgency etc. and this line still effectively added to it in a way that was quick and simple that suited the rhythm/beats. It's not just that Brandon chose not to be descriptive then, it's that what he chose to do what JUST AS if not MORE effective for the moment!
And like I LOVE playing and experimenting with language and prose I think it's so fun. I think a lot of the advice about prose and descriptive writing, things like show don't tell and advice about adjectives/adverbs and using "too simple" words, words like "very", are great introductory tools to intentionally think about exploring your prose deeper. But like all writing advice they will not apply to every writing situation. These advice and craft ideas are important but what's imo more important is understanding when and how to use them to best benefit a moment. Knowing when prose will benefit from being more intricate and descriptive and when something simple and bare will not only do the job but do it more effectively. And it doesn't just vary from writer to writer or from story to story, but scene to scene imo! Brandon has some beautiful descriptive lines in this novel that to me are not inherently "better" than the very green line just because they are more complex, both do what they need to do and are effective in their own moments
And this is all stuff I already felt. I have projects that benefit from really saturated, dense prose and others that benefit from really sparse prose. But seeing an author who I admire a lot use these "simple" descriptions and not just use them, but use them well, because he has thought about what moments will benefit from simplicity and what won't, was really reassuring. Writers trust yourselves!! You know your prose, your voice, your book, and you are allowed to do what others may consider "breaking" the rules if it feels like the right move for your writing
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God I wanna TALK ABOUT THE 'CALDOS
about the Veterans and how wholesome their group isssss I don't think we acknowledge it enouuuuugh
It's such a diverse lil group and they're so close to one another
I REALLY WANNA give a big kudos to the devs cause they didn't go with the "hurrdurr aha Group of Veterans Manly Men with One (1) Woman so they're all Horny and make Sexist, Misoginistic and Sexual Jokes all the time" cause like- first off I fucking hate that HGFH that's the basic stereotype for this kind of group, I've seen that dynamic so many time in movies, IRL, it's fucking exhausting
The Vets tho? Just- pure friendship, brotherhood, they fought together, they saw each others at their lowest, saw each others at their purest/raw selves, FAMILY for real
I cannot imagine any of them being an horny brainless dudebro type of guy cause that's literally Not what they are, they all have their different background and layers (even the smaller NPCs like Bob and Teddy, they have a lot of details and care to them) and I love the writing team for that, for giving us this wholesome group of people
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Regarding Volo at the moment, but also in general with any hardcore villainized characters, I certainly get the sentiment behind wanting to not woobify antagonistic characters too much, but also like. I think for me, when the primary fandom take away is that a character is HARDCORE IRREDEEMABLE, NO GOOD QUALITIES IN THIS ONE!!! it’s almost like… an act of balancing out. Yes, I get Bad Man did Bad Things, I’m a person with a brain, but when it seems like EVERYONE is talking about how the Bad Man did Bad Things and needs to be, generally, physically harmed for the Bad He Did, it just feels like an act of balance to say,
“Okay but why don’t we explore this line where he said he’s experienced trauma before? And how he instantly backs away from talking about it under the explanation he gave himself that everyone must experience trauma to that degree?”
Or, “Hey, the guy has three friendship evolution Pokémon, two of which notably will leave their trainers if they don’t like them. Why do people extrapolate from that that he must be an abusive trainer?”
Or, gods fucking forbid, “Hey. Why is this character, who’s notably got indigenous roots to the setting, constantly being made the villain in angsty stories for the two white twins?”
Idk man, again I get not wanting to woobify too much, not wanting to strip a complex character of their complexity and the like, but if your takeaway is that any sympathetic or nuanced takes on a heavily villainized character is “woobifying,” like… idk, touch grass as the kids say. Who’s going to stop me, the Anti-Wooby Police?
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