#director rambles

[littledigits]

directy directory ramble incoming

I wanted to type out my thoughts on the role of director and how its viewed. Especially coming from a perspective of seeing the streaming bubble pop and just..intense scope creep..and yeah , anyway. No reason specifically just my surface level musings that i always have. Its been 5+ years since I went from an animation supervisor to an animation director, to being able to do my own episodes. It wasnt something I wanted in the sense of a title, but I just like taking whatever the next step or challenge is. I've always been team oriented too, so that will always be in the back of my mind when being in a position with more power. The level of power you have as a director is not something I was expecting to have,so I try not to take it for granted.

Over time I really found that there are two viewpoints of what the job and the expectations of the director are. People have asked me for advice on the job and Its through these conversations that I really see the split opinion. The strongest camp is the one that represents the word least to me, and thats the people who think that the director is 'in charge' in the sense of always doing what they say. There are good and bad of course, but the directors job is to make the hard choices and to push boundaries and to enact a VISION (be it their own, a clients, ect). Their expectation soley revolves around the creation of the creative product. The other camp is the one that sees the Director as a leader first and foremost, who has a responsibility to their team as well as the product, and that leadership and team management skills should be on the roster as well as creative prowess. one thinks its about creative vision first and minimal people skills, and the other thinks it should be 50/50 at the very least. I'm in the second camp, and I have so many people that go 'YES, THAT IS WHAT A DIRECTOR SHOULD DO!' and as much as I agree, I also have to point out that is often not the actual reflected expectations that Directors get - expectations play a big role after all. When you enter a job or grow in a job you should know what your new responsibilities are, and if not you are left to fill in your own gaps. Studios in GENERAL are terrible with clear boundaries and job expectations, so its really no surprise that the stronger creative voices become the loudest in the room. Even the most well meaning people can get into an impossible mindset because no one has told them otherwise...we all know passion and creativity can take us places after all. Sometimes, one is thrust into a position of power without even knowing just how much their choices may impact the team. There are some notorious asshole directors of course but for the most part I've found that creatives in the director realm are well meaning. However, that doesnt change the reality that as well-meaning as you are, there is an entire team of people who can be effected by your mindest, choices and problem sovling for good or bad.

I've talked about this before, but a mindset can vastly change how you problem solve something. A director with no leadership skills may see work that does not meet their expectations and their first thought was that the artist did not do their job properly. A director with leadership skills may see work that does not meet their expectations and understand there are many factors. Heres a few questions I ask myself.

did that person receive proper expectations for the task ?

was there a communication mishap ? ( this happens ALL THE TIME. its ART !_! the amount of times i've written a note that i thought was super clear and someone takes it in a way that..i didnt expect but it also made sense ? SOMETIMES IT DO BE THAT WAY. WE WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS TOGETHER)

did they have enough time to do it ? or feel rushed?

is everything ok ? Everyone has bad times and blips in the production so its reasonable that sometimes things come in not 100%

if it is a hard skill issue, is it a one off or is it ongoing? how are we helping them work on it? The answers to these questions are FAR more valuable in actually getting your vision done to the best of your time and energy then just simply thinking someone doesnt have the skills or needs to learn more. ALL OF THIS TO SAY. That even just having good faith and a connection to your team as a director is incredibly valuable for your information gathering and problem solving, (you learn way more about your pipeline and where the real issues are.) but is vastly underrepresented as an expectation of the job. SO. IF YOU WANT TO DIRECT. you may not get told that your team is part of your responsibility, but if we want a sustainable and healthy industry we have to divide our passion for the project into our team as well as the creative end game. Take some leadership classes, learn about different communication types, or at least have people around you who can do that. You dont need to be everyones bestie, but you do have a responsibility for their experience on the project. ill post some tips and such about working with people later cuz this is long enough

#people who read this who go the heck #thats just basic isint it? #yes yes it is come and join me and we can feel gaslit in this industry together #long story short dont assume your directors or supervisors got any training on how to communicate or manage projects with lots of ppl #can you tell i reject the auteur theory #director rambles #animation industry

[trauersinfonie]

here’s the rest

op 26 (check out the animators involved)

#my gifs #one piece #one piece spoilers #op spoilers #one piece ​1089 #op 26 #argh idk any other spoiler tags #flashing #flash warning #idk how big of a animation community is on tumblr but #Megumi ​Ishitani is the director of stuff like 1015 and op25 #there’s also a lot of big names on the list like Mori and Chansard that u hear a lot #so the fact that the visuals are insane is really no suprise considering how insanely stacked the production was #I love ishitani I hope she directs an episode in yhe future #like a kuma ep #ok no more rambling

[sillycathorrors]

every now and again i get depressed about the current state of the filmmaking industry and then i see a movie that makes me go ‘wow. im gonna create shit like this even if it kills me’ and i think thats an important sentiment to have in this age of ai and not paying actors/writers enough

#i have genuine passion for filmmaking its just seeing so many filmmakers/directors talk about how much they hate making movies #is really disheartening yk? #this post was brought to you by the boy and the heron btw #thats today’s ‘holy fuck im in love with movies’ film #filmmaking #cinemetography #film industry #the boy and the heron #studio ghibli #animation #my thoughts #sorrens rambles

[ameftowriter]

Hmm... I was thinking of an idea I may not even have the time to work on and also because I'm not good with art so yeah...

But I was wondering if like Team Star making Director Clavell an honorary member/boss.

With his own outfit, obviously made by Atticus, his own theme, made by Giacomo (think of like a metal remix version of his own battle theme), and badge and everything. Eri would even see how strong his Pokemon are. Ortega and Mela would probably even offer to make his own starmobile but he'd quickly turn that down for many reasons. It was Penny's idea and even organized the whole thing, that everyone agreed as to her it was just a way for Team Star to thank him for what he's done for them after all. He probably even visits the centers from time to time to see how it's going. The Grunts probably love him too as a result xD

What do you all think?

EDIT: I just thought now, why not also incorporate the Clive persona with this too xD

#pokemon #director clavell #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon spoilers #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #clavell #team star #team star giacomo #team star mela #team star atticus #team star ortega #team star eri #team star penny #ame's ramblings #pokemon scarvi #pokemon scarvio #pokemon clavell

[multifandom-garbage-compactor]

Of all the things to be trending on tumblr on January 6th, I didn’t expect it to be Luca (2021).

#good work fishes #luca #luberto #multi rambles #multi flops #also are they canon now? I think I heard the art director liked fanart but don’t know for sure

[ask-zerotrio]

Clavell sads

#director clavell #zerotrioshipping #clavell x sada x turo #professor turo #professor sada #could ramble on and on about how the trios themes make for so much delicious clashing #angst grief regret anger but also pining for what could have beens

[secondbeatsongs]

I might love sharknado too much you guys

#sharknado #personal #sbs rambles #id in alt text #the director! of sharknado! #retweeted my overenthusiastic rant about how much I love his movie! #also #the remaster was so good! #it was so clean. you could see so much detail! #the audio was better too #honestly it was just a much more professional version of the movie #with remade (but still very corny) visual effects #and I love that #I want to own it so badly #I'm so glad I saw it in theatres #wearing my ''watch for falling sharks'' shirt that clouds got me #it felt like it all coming full circle #also I guess maybe some of you guys don't know that I love sharknado? #spoiler alert: I love sharknado #saw every single one of them when they came out #taped the first one on VHS #sharknado my beloved #ETA: don't bother following me on twitter lol #I am not there #I only use it for communication purposes #like in this case #telling the director of sharknado how much I love him

[daisysmalia]

The framing of these shots scream love triangle (of sorts) to me 😂

#buddie #911 spoilers #if anything from my director workshops pay off #it’s framing and marking choices #Leah rambles #adding I was an actor in the director workshops so I didn’t understand all they said about framing but I understood enough!

[see-arcane]

Lucy, Jonathan, Mina, and the Bastardization of Their Horror Story

I’ve been chewing on this one for a while. I thought it kind of went without saying among all us bitter bookworms when it came to the TV and movie treatments of Dracula and the characters/arcs therein. A lot is a given by now; a running joke. But goddamn if rereading today’s entry didn’t just tick me right off all over again. So here we go.

Lucy Westenra is best known by public osmosis as ‘Mina’s Hot Best Friend’ and/or the ‘Maneater/Heartbreaker,’ what with her small-scale Helen of Troy setup with the suitor trio and Dracula gunning for her first once he hits England. Most people know the Francis Ford Coppola version which not only distills a lot of her and similar damsels’ treatments in Dracula flicks, but also specifically includes…a lot.

Like this:

It happens for a whole blink, and is never mentioned again or returned to as any kind of meaningful romantic relationship beyond, ‘Lucy hot, Lucy gets around, Lucy makes out with everyone, lol.’ It also includes, and very much highlights, this:

TW: Sexual assault/implied rape/impaired consent

Yeah. That’s Dracula, halfway out of his wolf form. Doing that.

This is followed by her swooning away in bed, becoming more vampy (in both senses) and so forth. Is she still a victim? Yes. But the framework of it has been entirely distorted. She’s the Whore to Mina’s (Marriable! She’s the brainy brunette destined to be with Dracula!) Madonna.

“She was susceptible to Dracula’s seduction because she was already the hot/promiscuous one! It was practically a monsterfucker meet-cute, guys!” –Francis, probably

Then we turn to today’s entry. Hell, the past couple entries in which Dracula’s been zeroing in on Lucy. He abused her sleepwalking, yes, but ultimately resorts to visits, stalking, and—as with today—idly playing with his food by sitting in plain view, watching her watch him, knowing how her mind is struggling between the sleeping trance and the innate dread.

(I know those eyes. I know them. I know him. I fear him. Why?)

This girl, barely nineteen, has been made a target. She has a pliable medical condition being used against her, like pulling a puppet by its strings. She can’t not sleep. She can’t avoid his tugging at her. No more than she can hide from him now that he’s tracked her back to the home she’s sharing with Mina and her mother. And yet, for now, what does Dracula do?

He toys with her. Just a bat at the window. Just a little taste, dear. Back to bed now, I’ll see you tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. Because I can.

There’s no bodice ripping, no overt sexual assault, but the violation remains intact. Along with a far more palpable helplessness. Mina won’t be there to guard her forever or keep the room all shut up against Dracula’s visits. (No spoilers for future chapters, but suffice to say, the Count does not suffer being rebuffed very well or very long. Shit gets intense. Wait and see.)

We saw with the Demeter how Dracula behaves when it’s just a matter of gluttony with victims he has no interest in beyond casual cruelty. Kill, toss, kill, toss. It’s nothing to him.

Willing Lucy to open the window so he can drop the bat form, become himself, and get far more visceral in his playtime would also be nothing. But in Lucy’s case, as with Jonathan’s, when Dracula decides to take a true interest in a victim, he not only likes to savor the game, he prefers psychological torture. Especially with characters established as 24K sweethearts. (Sorry, Lucy. Sorry, Jonathan. Sorry, Mina.)

Right now? Lucy’s just barely at the start of her nightmare. And the most tactile the Count has been with her, period, is a couple nibbles. Everything else is down to the slowly shrinking noose of the situation she’s in. She doesn’t know that yet. Neither does Mina. Mild spoilers, there’s a period coming up where everyone will sigh with relief. They aren’t living in Whitby, after all. They’re on holiday. They’ll leave. Lucy will get better. All is well.

…Until Dracula gets moving too. Back to bloody business. And the volume gets cranked up past 11.

Now let’s swivel to the bizarre (if not unexpected) character flip of Jonathan and Mina’s situations. It’s been gone over a dozen times now just how screwed Jonathan Harker is in every adaptation. He’s either practically nonexistent or transformed beyond recognition into a walking snore. Explicitly ignoring the two months he spent as a captive with Dracula in one-on-one castle time. Canonically, this man spends the most time with Dracula in the entire book. His story could be its own book! Its own movie! And yes, Dracula gives some bullshit excuses about ‘learning how to speak like an Englishman,’ but the core of it was just…he wanted to.

He wanted to keep Mr. Harker in that big stone box with him, just to play mind games, savor that solicitor flavor, then pass him off to the Brides as a present before, presumably, forcing him to turn and join the undead girl gang. And while past directors have loved the idea of a trio of sexy voluptuous vampire babes pawing at a man and each other, that appears to be literally the only purpose Jonathan ever gets within a show/movie. Everything else gets scraped off.

They harvested his devotion to Mina and gave it to Dracula.

They harvested his fucked up Beauty and the Beast-style plush and predatory imprisonment—here, enjoy a cigar, some fine dining, a pretty room, lots of books, nonconsensual touching, being forced to lie to your loved ones, the cannibalization of two children, a woman eaten alive by wolves, knowing your own death date (Which won’t get you out of this castle! You’re here forever! We saved a coffin for you, buddy!), and all the Evil Monster Man Seeks Virtuous Damsel bells and whistles—and gave it to Mina.

Because if they kept to the book that’d look too Ell Gee Bee Tee. And not even in the hot unfulfilled lesbian way! Can’t have that. Nope, we’ll just hand all the creepy-amorous hospitality stuff to Mina.

And oh God. Mina. Poor, poor Mina.

The travesty of what gets done to her character in so many adaptations. She ranges from Classic Bland-Pretty Damsel to Miraculously Sensual-Spiritually Awakened Dracula-Wife (Not a sultry harem Bride, though! That’s for Lucy and the trio of sexy whats-her-faces in Transylvania. Who Dracula always seems to have no matter how romantic and suave he’s being. Can’t drop those standby chicks even for a reincarnation love story, eh, Francis?). We’ll see later how vital she is to the plot and tackling the problem of Dracula.

A problem she will be extremely vehement about destroying, considering the fact that this undead bastard is responsible for tormenting the two most important people in her life, in ways that are intended to terrify, convert, and low-key enslave the victims to a damned eternity. Once she’s clued in to all Dracula has done, our girl’s going to be livid and instrumental to helping the Vampire Hunter Gang in taking him down. But who needs that!?

Just have her go ‘Eek!’ or swoon into Count Fuckula’s manly liberated embrace!

Which really does sum up all of these characters’ crappy deals in media.

Lucy Westenra? Having a nuanced and increasingly horrifying ordeal situated on having a supernatural stalker walking you around like a windup toy in your sleep and preying on you in a fashion meant to ultimately destroy your happiness and humanity so you can join his undead sexdoll collection?

Who needs that!? Make her a redheaded Lilith caricature who barely needs a nudge to give it up to her sexy wolfman-monster-master! She’s the side chick anyway, who cares? :)

Jonathan Harker? Being the character who spends the most time of anyone in close proximity with the Count, the only one to share multiple conversations with him, gets forced into the damsel-in-distress role while Dracula and his Brides make sexually-coded predatory moves on him, gets traumatized by the death and horror he witnessed in the castle he barely escaped, all saturated with the driving force behind his determination being his love for Mina from start to finish?

Who needs that!? Just turn him into a stuffy English scarecrow who gets felt up by the Brides and then we can forget about him. Get that homoerotic shit out of here, we don’t need to see that. Oh, but keep that ‘Loving Mina to the Point of Corruption’ stuff—we can save that for Dracula. :) :)

Mina Murray? One of the earliest examples of intelligent and capable women in all of literature, let alone gothic literature, taking an active role in pursuing Dracula and being exactly as passionately in love with Jonathan Harker as he is with her, said love for him and Lucy being what drives her to participate in a hunt for a monster who wields the threat of not just death, but an infinite horror of existence, a fiend she loathes as much as fears?

Who needs that!? Slap a corset on her, heave up those breasts, and let’s make us a fine Victorian final girl for the Count to woo with his sexy badass vampire charisma. :) :) :)

Fuck :) you, :) Francis. :) And every book-bastardizing director like you :) :) :)

If someone wanted to do a real, fresh and, (yes!) romantic take on Dracula, I think the key would sit with two things.

One: Leaning into the healthy unconventional romantic relationships as much as highlighting the unhealthy/predatory undertones Dracula and the Brides bring to the table. It is possible, even while staying period-accurate.

Lucy can still accept Art’s proposal. But maybe point out that he, out of all the suitors, has the best financial arrangement—and that she and all the suitors basically stealth-conferred with each other. She, Art, and Quincey (Sorry, Seward, you came on too strong, too fast, too weird. Please reapply next year with a new polycule resume, sir.) are a throuple in as close a way as they can manage with Arthur ‘Son of a Lord’ Holmwood basically planning to set up a lifestyle in which they can all still remain together.

Hell, the Suitor Squad should have their own hints and confirmations among each other. Lucy might just be the latest addition to their group, who knows? Play with healthy large-scale LGBT and poly romances! Pool’s open!

Lucy and Mina? Lucy and Mina. In their case, I picture a somewhat past-tense romance, riding in tandem with Mina and Jonathan’s relationship, but open to renewing once all is settled with Mina and Jonathan’s wedding. We’ll say Mina has an open invite, Jonathan too.

Let Jonathan and Mina have the Most Intense Bi4Bi Gothic Romance of All Time the book explicitly lays out for them in coming chapters. They are sweethearts. They have been in love since childhood. They would die and kill for each other. (Yes, that is foreshadowing. Brace yourself, first-time readers.)

Let Jonathan flex his asexual/biromantic horizons. We all read into the ‘thing’ with him and Dracula, and even the hypnosis of the Brides—zero interest in reciprocating/invitation on his part. But if upcoming chapters are any indication, he’ll be firing sparks off with Quincey. Mild spoiler, they have a mutual love of knives! Fun! (Bigger spoiler, Seward, that repressed little bug of a man, is going to start having Thoughts once Jonathan enters the scene. You’ll know when you read it.)

Yes, vampiric and general monster media is often used as a vehicle to explore (or, sadly, demonize/fetishize) the Other. Carmilla did it with lesbians, Dracula does it with—gasp!—a male monster preying on/damselifying another man, the sultry and powerful women being monsters, and with the ‘evils’ of polyamory (No, not just the Bride harem thing. There’s a bit about blood transfusions that takes a unique turn. Again, you’ll know when you read it. Ugh.).

A new adaptation would win a lot of points in depicting all the positive reflections of non-heteronormative relationships and the heart of the last lap of the book, which is a group of good and valiant people taking on a dangerous task for others, and, I cannot overstate this enough, Jonathan and Mina’s love story.*

*Which I’ve mentioned before, could have taken a very spicy and sinister turn in and of itself. If any darkfic-loving directors out there want to take a chance…well. You know what to do with that kukri blade.

Two: Break the story up into three acts!

1.     Jonathan—The two months in Castle Dracula.

2.     Lucy—The perils of being Dracula’s first ‘special interest’ victim in England.

3.     Mina—Everything coming to a big, grisly, race-to-the-finish crescendo.

If you want to add extra salt to the wound, have a prelude and/or interspersed highlights of the fact that, according to the text and its implications, Mina, Jonathan, and Lucy have been friends since they were little kids. Yes, really.

Three friends who have known and loved each other all their lives, all on the verge of their respective happily ever afters, attacked and tormented one after the other by the same immortal sadist. That’s a horror story.

Like it’s supposed to be, FRANCIS.

tl;dr: I respect a good monsterfucker narrative, but Dracula is absolutely NOT THAT STORY. It is horror, and it deserves to be portrayed as such. There’s a whole other essay in how absolutely unrecognizable Dracula himself is in so many media depictions, turning him from a formidable and horrifying entity into ‘Heehee Hoohoo Sultry Vampire Man, give me your love bite~~~.’ They pulled his fangs out and made him into a Ken doll. But that’s a ramble for another time.

#Francis meet me in the pit #lucy westenra #mina murray #mina harker #jonathan harker #dracula #dracula daily #adaptation #bastardization #francis ford coppola #(he is not the only director to do his shit but his is the most well-known/damning/influencing example) #rant rant ramble ramble #dracula spoilers

[ducktracy]

reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)

if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop

#i've made this disclaimer on another post but will again since i've seen a lot more of the movies now #the movies are VERY good and very enjoyable but unfortunately the first handful are bogged down by transphobic/homophobic/okama stereotypes #they kind of vary in their severity. Movie 5 i think is the biggest catalyst because it features the stereotyped characters the most #prominently. Movie 3 doesnt really have caricatures per se but saves a very backhanded reveal for the end #Movies 1 and 4 are a bit more tolerable if my memory is correct. Movie 2 i think is kind of comparable to Movie 5 with its caricatures #in that the characters have similar roles in both movies #i admittedly can't remember what caricatures there were in Movie 6 or 7. 7 i think barely had anything #RAMBLE RAMBLE BASICALLY: these jokes are within the first 7 movies or so 5 being the zenith then reducing down and down. by movie 8 it's sa #e #i give these disclaimers because these movies are all very enjoyable and i would not recommend them if i didnt think there wasnt any merit #o them. they are all very much worth watching. Movie 5 still has a lot of very enjoyable stuff in it (there's a showdown in a supermarket!! #but i just want to make sure that is clear and established since transparency is good to have and i dont want anyone's viewing experience t #be ruined because they weren't given the proper warning #if it's any consolation it's my understanding that even the directors hated doing the jokes #iirc Keiichi Hara really didn't like doing the jokes and i think had a talk with the mangaka Yoshito Usui and was like 'uh dude this is #gonna age horribly can we maybe not' #ironically Hara's first film is Movie 5. which is again the biggest offender #BUT! that is my spiel. my understanding is that it's contained to those 6 or 7 first movies and i think is strictly just a movie thing #so please do give these films a watch but just be mindful at the same time #if anyone needs recommendations my favorites have been movies 4 and 9 but i genuinely really enjoyed every one that i have seen #i've seen the first 11 and a half movies (need to finish 12) and movie 22. the worst i've felt about one is 'oh that was pretty good!' #each film has its own merit and is very very very much worth watching #22 was the first Shin-chan anything i watched and all my Shin-chan expert friends say 4 is a good introductory piece #in case that influences anything/makes it easier to break in #so. thus concludes my spiel #csc #vid

[svblimes]

i will mention that i think it's bullshit that Margot and Greta were not nominated at the oscars and that annoys me

like i dunno, why is Barbie itself nominated but not the lead actress and director??

#.rambling #america ferrera getting nominated is wonderful #but margot not getting nominated for lead actress #and greta not getting a director nom? what?

[littledigits]

That time when working in animation made me realize I needed therapy

Since we're on the topic of overworking / being passionate in animation and blah blah blah.  I want to share my story about working on the first season of Hilda (for context I was the animation director), specifically..how completely garbo my mental health got because 

I INSISTED ON WORKING MYSELF INTO THE GROUND. 

This is a story I've shared when I've had a chance to do lectures or talks, and if there is one really awesome thing that comes with ..weird ..animation clout, its that you can use those powers for good in terms of teaching people about the BS that comes with the job...anyway.

The reason why I like to talk about this is because I insisted on doing it to myself, and that was really got me thinking about the factors that do lead us into over working. Because heres the deal

Hilda season 1 was, without getting into too many details, a heckofatime...especally for the core crew. we were a small group, doing something new because most of us haven't worked on a show before that included pre production. My entire career up to that point had been working on service work for shows that were created in Burbank, so the new pipeline had a ton of challenges. We did all care, and we all believed in the project SOOOO much. I would tell people not to work over time, because I want my team to leave on time - but I was there...a lot. Leaving the studio by 11pm , working through the weekends..it wasnt an uncommon thing for me. sure , it wasnt all the time, but this stuff spans years sometimes so it went in waves. But whenever the challenges came up, i doubled down. because I super believed in it.

  And the thing was - other people told me to stop. I had a lot of valid concerns given to me by my friends and team members who saw how I was burning myself out at both ends. And I thought like, well , its my *choice*.  Its my chance to have a voice and be creative and try to do something different and we all have to push ourselves and yes its HARD but. THATS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT? surely if I just make sure I’m the one overworking and my team isn't.. that's fine. 

Well, no, I was immensely effecting my team maybe I wasn’t telling them to work late, but they were seeing me get more and more tired and stay later and later.  I thought they would still approach me for help, or if they struggled. But the issues they had they kept to themselves without wanting to put more on my shoulders. Because they *cared* , just as much as I did ..and we all took more on our shoulders then we should have and there were a lot of things that I could have solved had I fostered a better communication environment.  I became really resentful in my head over the smallest things, I actually saw myself becoming a more hateful person and easily annoyed. I came home every day rambling about the frustrations. Now, let me preface this by saying - my mental state did not only have to do with overworking. I had and have things still to unpack, but the control I had over work and the validation I got from it was a coping mechanism for me. I really didnt think i had any worth as a person outside of this job. It basically was a very nasty cycle that didnt stop until ...well I had gotten so bad I had to.  By the end of the first season I was actually incredibly close to quitting . I was in big anxiety attack territory because I was so worn thin- I had started therapy but eventually moved onto getting medication as well and that was what allowed me to stick it out. ( I have the same therapist and I am on the same meds, it was very hard to do at the time, but i cant imagine my life now without making that choice ). After it was done I was immensely supported by the studio and worked part time as a trainer, which is what i requested to give my brain a break. (Only a few of my closer friends knew how bad I was getting but it was pretty obvious I needed to rest) I'm really proud of the work we did and we keep doing on the show, ..and some other people may have gone through something similar and found it was worth it, but thats not me. I still struggle not to fall back into that mindset, but it helps knowing that if i keep myself out of it , i can help my team out of it, because I know they care about this show just as much as I do. I’m not a martyr, I am a leader, and its up to me to keep myself healthy so I can keep my crew healthy.   I always strive to be better, but i get to decide what that looks like - and for me ..better has nothing to do with the image on the screen. Its got more to do with the experience of the people around me. Readjusting those priorities has helped a lot with keeping my head above water and not add to the pressure that makes it so hard not to get sucked down in the first place.  I do think its good to talk about though , how our passion and language and drive can lead to a lot of us being a part of this cycle. And if theres one good thing about the challenges, its sharing them so at least others can learn faster then you did ;) . take care of yourself friends.

#animation #animation industry #director talk #i still think of how many people told me to stop and how i didnt #i tell people to stop and they dont but i do understand why #thats why this shit is ingrained and its more then just words #here you go a big long animation ramble :D

[abrilstevens]

my personal hell is watching tv and movie characters doing shitty ass CPR. go girl give us nothing. why do you want this person dead 😭

#it’s not like you even have to consult a medical professional to get this right as a director #there are youtube videos that can teach you in like 2 min???? #lizzie saltzman would know how to do CPR better than this please #leah is rambling again tag

[brosif40]

Wait til they learn that my sona tastes absolutely godawful, like extremely bitter and WILL stick to the inside of your mouth no matter what you do for like.. a few hours- and thats only their blood that has flavor, the outer body tastes nothing probably idk

Also every bit thats "eaten" evaporates the moment it gets near room temp or above so it never really makes it in there, buut we can ignore this for fun purposes

Yucky disgusting beast...

But I know this won't stop any of yous ... < used to this GSJWHEJDH

#brosif rambles #the fool #dear ol Director knows it all too well (doesn't learn his fucking lesson EVER)

[rainbowinbeigeboots]

happy lisa frankenstein physical release day to all those who celebrate

#it’s me i’m celebrating #also ironically had taken the day off today to sleep in after the chappell concert last night and it happened to line up #i will be waiting anxiously by my door for it to get here so i can watch it immediately with director’s commentsry #*commentary #not retyping that #lisa frankenstein #meaghan rambles

[cannibalovers]

rewatching hannibal after knowing everything that happens makes me feel like i was SO blind pls

#feeling like alana #hannibal u did ur job right #manipulated even the viewers #(or technically the directors and creators thank u for this amazing show) #nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal lecter #shitpost #my post #rumaiq rambles