#did something happen that richard didnt want to mention?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelicmichael · 3 years

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What if Xavier had a kid he didn't know about and he meets them for the first time after he's already a ghost? Maybe there's a kindergarten group that takes a trip to the camp, and he just has this spirit intuition as soon as he sees them and KNOWS it's his child. Do you think you could expand on this idea? I'd love to see what you come up with!

A/N: This was so fun, thank you for this idea dear anon!! I'm sorry it's late but hopefully u like it 😶. Also, I apologize this is so dark and heavy- I didnt intend for it.. it just, kinda happened lmfao. I turned this into a 'x reader' and it starts with Xaviers POV and ends with readers perspective!! First few paragraphs are pretty dark and then the rest is weird.. angst fluff LOL.Hope yall enjoy 💖💖💖

Warnings: First few paragraphs discuss Xavier's thots about dying SO, it highkey gets dark yall I'm so sorry, mentions of anger?? issues, mentions of murder, stops getting dark roughly around paragraph 6 if u wanna skip all that, MAJOR ANGST, reuniting, very brief Xantana reference 😈, mention of kids, bit of fluff.. think that's it :)

In Xaviers eyes; the worst part of being killed in a desolate camp and having to reside there for the rest of eternity; wasnt the fact that he would have to handle Richard Rameriez and tolerate his peers for eons to come. Sure, both of those things required an adjustment period but.. the realization that his life with you was abruptly cut short, was what truly broke him.

It took him being stripped from everything he once knew to truly appreciate how heavenly life once was before Camp Redwood. He had a steady job, good friends, and a relationship with a actual living, breathing person.. Not to shade Montana or anything, of course. However he had taken all of those things for fucking granted; moving to Camp Redwood definetly had made him become humble- at the very least. He was now nothing but a mere shell of the person he once was; nothing to bring him out of this absolute living nightmare he found himself in.. At first this mindset nearly consumed him, it drove him to kill multiple times.

There was no point in trying to conceal the anger he felt, no way of trying to channel it out into a more socially appropriate way and at this point.. there really was no point in trying to do so. Out here in the forest, espically after he was killed, life outside of the forest soon seemed as if it was some type of myth or fairytale- something not real or attainable. Time in the redwood forest felt different- days quickly bled and melted into weeks, and then months.. trying to guess the date was something Xavier gave up on doing after about the first week.

As much as he tried to deny it, being dead and becoming trapped here had completly made him lose his grip on reality and his previous life. Soon enough, the thought that life even fully existed outside of the camp and that there was actual fucking laws against killing (something which was now a leisurely hobby) had completly slipped his mind momentarily in the beginning as well. Out here in the forest, nothing felt real execpt for his anger that he held onto so tightly.

It was really the only thing he had left; atleast for a while.

The pain of losing his partner, (y/n), still remained but letting that grief not consume him was easily the hardest battle he had fought in his life. Xavier realized he still had his friends - and if he really was going to live for eternity, he sure wasnt going to spend it angry.

After so many years of being 'cursed' to spend forever in this forest, keeping track of the time was something Xavier rarely bothered with, but - it was obvious by the suns posistion, and even the slight mist that made the grass wet that it was just starting to cut into morning. Xavier walked through the forest alone, nowhere in particular to go or to necessarily do, only a sudden need to go and be alone. Almost a beckoning, for him to go and be somewhere else. To witness something.

His days were more often than not purely mundane; he had absolutely no excuse to not listen to this odd and sudden attraction he felt toward a very particular spot in the camp.. so, that's what brought him to where he stood now. Close to the road that brought visitors (a nice word for victims) into Camp Redwood, right next to the mess hall which was rarely used close by.

Xavier felt wildly uncomfortable standing so close to the place which previously held so much trauma - and honestly still did.. The place where Chef Bertie died. Xavier paused, about to just say 'fuck it' and just give up and go back to where his friends resided (or atleast Montana) when.. he heard it.

His sign, the thing that seemingly enticed him in the first place.

It first sounded like the old, familar sounds of tires coming across a gravel road - Xaviers mind immeadietly jumped to perhaps this could be new people.. new vistors.. new victims.

His blood ran cold when he heard something else; an eerie ringing of chains hitting against the ground. Something that was mostly a associated with buses.. and hauntingly familar. He had little to no time to think or even act on his suspicion when he noticed that a yellow school bus full, and nearly combusting with children was pulling into the camp.

Xavier wasnt exactly certain the bounds that ghosts had when it came to certain bodily functions like vomiting, but hes sure that under normal circumstances he would certainly be sick by now. Nevertheless he could feel his body tense up and the other natural symptoms associated with anxiety also kicked in. Urging him to clumsily get out of vision; he stumbled behind a few trees that poorly blocked him from sight. He continued to watch in complete and utter horror as the bus came to a stop, and it didnt take long for kids to start pouring out of the bus. Xavier felt his heart drop and his blood run cold every time a kid exited the bus and stepped on the dirt soil of Camp Redwood.

Xavier whipped his head around; scanning the surrounding area to make sure no other ghosts were here to bear witness to this.. Xavier was nearly always down to commit murder, it was really the only thing that kept him from fully going insane from pure fucking boredom but - kids? There was no fucking way he would let anyone touch them.

While he thoroughly scanned the area, he noticed a few adults leave the bus out of his periphery vision. He thought nothing of it, chaperones were to be expected on elementary field trips but.. the strange beckoning feeling he felt ealier visited him again, urging him to turn his head fully and look at one of the chaperones more closely. Instantaneously, he then automatically realized why he felt so compelled to come to this spot.. Why he was meant to be here at this exact moment.. It was you.

At first he thought he was merely hallucinating; you definetly looked significantly different from the last time he had saw you but.. he knew it was you, his partner that he had before his life completly went to shit (minus the catastrophe that occured with Blake, of course). He knew instantly, it was your eyes, your stature and just.. your overall warm and familiar aura that gave your identity away. He couldnt believe that the person he had so fucking desperately wanted to see more than anyone or anything was only a few feet away - and now, that you were finally here... All he wanted for you to do was to leave.

As soon as he saw you he felt a sudden tightness posses his chest and throat which accompanied the formation of tears burning his eyes; hastily blurring his vision. He had to physically restrain himself from sobbing outloud; trying his best to just swallow down his tears. His whole body felt as if it was on fire with anxiety, but he chose to continue to stand still behind a few dainty trees - trying to pull himself together so he could actually have the chance to think critically and choose what the ever living fuck he was going to do next.

While he waited for his blurry vision to clear, he chose to focus on the semi distant figure that he knew was you. He took in the little details; like how the sun highlighted the colors in your hair and your simple but charming outfit. It took him several moments to think of why you would even be here in the first place, with a school bus- and thats when another dreadful realization hit him.

Only parents were mainly chaperones when it came to elementary field trips.. meaning-

No other thought crossed Xaviers mind as his eyes flicked down inhumanely fast to the child where (y/n) stood next too.. and immeadietly he knew.

The features the child shared of both you and Xavier were partially a giveaway, but most importantly.. it was the feeling he had that confirmed his belief. The initial anxiety he felt of the kids arriving still remained but was significantly muted and mostly replaced with a overwhelming sense of pure love. The feeling spread to every fiber of his being, and so did a odd urge to protect this small being which he knew was his.

Not ever in his entire life had he felt this way about someone (execpt for perhaps, you). He felt himself taking a few steps forward, at first completly involuntary but he knew he had to talk to you. Just the idea of reuniting tasted so fucking good but, he knew he couldnt get too greedy if he was going to talk to you. He knew confronting you had to be solely done in order to save you and his child, he couldnt get carried away. He wouldnt.

He tried his best to appear casual as he submerged from behind the trees, his hands held behind his back - the only way he could get them to stop shaking. He tried to relax his shoulders and appear confident as he strided up to you; your back turned toward him. He continued until he was directly behind you, he wanted to tap your shoulder but - touching you seemed out of the question. That would confirm everything, it would make it seem actually real and not like this just some torturous dream.

"(Y/n)"? He spoke.

Xaviers breath hitched as he watched you whip around to face him. He studied your features as you went from looking utterly confused to surprised beyond belief.

"Xavier, what-"

"We need to talk".

Xavier quickly grabbed your hand, leading you away from herd of kids and the few sparse chaperones that were amongst them. A few of them gave you two a few odd looks but neither you or Xavier particularly cared, after all this was the first time in years you two had seen eachother. You hastily followed his lead, feeling slightly embarrassed that it was obvious how nervous and simply caught off guard you currently were. Your palms (one of which was still holding onto Xaviers hand) were starting to moisten with sweat. These feelings only amplified once Xavier turned around to face you. The intensity that was in his eyes put you on edge - never in your time of dating or knowing him did he ever look so serious with you.

"What are you doing here"? Xavier spoke, his voice was still in a higher pitch, slightly breaking.

"What"?

After years of not being able to see you, in fact; years of you not even knowing where he went - this was how he chose to greet you?? Automatically your blood ran cold with the sudden realization that something was wrong. Seriously wrong.. but the feeling didnt just apply to your ex boyfriend. It was the entire camp.

"Its not safe here, you need to take the kids and leave". Xaviers voice more visibly shook this time as he spoke; as if his words physically pained him.

Your heart skipped a beat, the sudden pain and anguish starting to fully settle in. You couldnt believe it; after years of not seeing you - this was all he had to say? Was he fucking joking?

"What? A-are you kidding? Xavier, I havent seen you in years- I didnt even know you would be here-"

"I'm sorry (y/n). I'm so sorry but you have no idea what this place is like. You just need to go, and the kids. And promise me you wont come back".

It was torturous to watch tears gather in Xaviers eyes, and watch as they streaked down his cheeks. The sadness you previously felt was now washed away with red, hot rage. The feeling spread throughout your body like a wildfire that he was seemingly rejecting you.. but you knew now this wasnt some pathetic excuse. Something was seriously wrong here; and now it was starting to become too obvious to ignore.

Xavier looked hauntingly the exact same from the last time you saw him. He forever, looked as if he was still stuck in the same moment of time - like in the summer of 1984, which was when you last saw him.

You didnt realize you were still holding onto one of his hands until you reflexively tried to move it to brush away his tears that were still staining his cheeks; but awkwardly.. you chose to do so with your other hand. Squeezing the one hand you were still holding onto a bit tighter.

He winced as you touched him, and as much you tried your damn best to hold it together - you could feel tears starting to burn your eyes as well.

"I cant promise I wont ever come back, Xavier. I need to see you again, and what about-" you said softly, about to reference the child you two shared together.

"No, you'll see me again (y/n). I promise.. okay"?

He brought your hand up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles; the tears you trying so desperately to hold in were now sliding down your cheeks. Your breathing was now horribly choppy. You were on the brink of full on sobbing but you held yourself back - it was nearly time for you to go.

The fact you would have to go back to go the others and make up some bullshit excuse to leave, put a bitter taste in your mouth.. but your sure Xavier had a valid reason for ushering you to leave. Even if he didnt want to tell you right now; you trusted him with your life.

"Okay.. Fine. I'm coming back though, and I'm sorry I couldnt find you sooner". You admitted.

You dropped his hand that you were still holding in order to wrap your arms around him. To get one final touch to remember him by. You were desperate to fully touch him and to be wrapped in his embrace, something you had desperately and madly missed. As he held you; you tried to soak in his scent, his aura.. just the fact that he was even here seriously with you, in this moment.

You previously assumed Xavier had passed away; that was easier to come to terms with rather than thinking he willingly ran away or.. that something else more sinister had happened. A part of you wanted to be frustrated that you were leaving with more questions than answers but.. you didnt care. Your heart didnt care. You were just happy you were able to see your boyfriend.. no matter the circumstance or conditions it came with. Even though you were stupidly happy, your thoughts kept annoyingly circling back to the same question - how was Xavier here with you, living.. breathing.. in the flesh. How was this possible? You were about to speak your thoughts outloud when you first felt Xavier break away from you. You didnt get as much as a second glance just when you felt something soft on your cheek. Perhaps a goodbye kiss? and then.. just like he wasnt there at all, he was gone. Almost as if he completly disintegrated into the fresh, morning sky.

You felt your entire body stiffen as you realized he was gone.. again. It was difficult to pinpoint exactly how you felt. It was a nasty mix of both grief and anger that left you completly speechless and deathly still. You took a step back to combat the feeling, and attempted to look casual (and not like the person whom you were just hugging had completly fucking vanished). Sheepishly taking a look at the group you had arrived with and making sure none of them noticed your.. odd behavior.

Sure enough, none of them did. They all stood, and continued on conversing just like they were before you had broke away from them. Smiling and laughing as if nothing was wrong; just like they didnt have a care in the world - just as if the love of their life wasnt ripped away from them for a second time.

Even though Xavier was now gone, that odd, unsettling feeling still lingered with you. Like something was terribly wrong here, in Camp Redwood. The feeling wasn't entirely bad though; sure - the overall air in this place reeked of something terrible but.. now you felt something else mixed into it. A comforting essence of safety; Xaviers presence. You knew he wasnt directly beside you anymore but he was somewhere.. lurking. Watching you, as you begrudgingly walked over to the group you came with. Making up a bullshit excuse in your head so you could escape whatever this place was pretending to be.

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @instincts-baby let me know if u would like to be added!! :)

#xavier x reader #xavier plympton x reader #xavier plympton fanfic #ahs fanfic #cody fern fanfic #my fic #inbox is officially empty now 💅🏻#hopefully the pov switching wasnt weird LOL #it was my first time writing like that hehe #i lowkey feel bad i made this so dark so hopefully its still enjoyable LOL #also this doesnt rlly follow canon details that well but- idc djdjd

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happys-crazy-queen22 · 3 years

Text

Need You

Warning: Mentioning of death, Abuse, child abuse. Caution when reading.

Eyeball parked his car at the payphone and limped out. He just got into a fight with his father. The worst he had been in. He picked up the phone a put a nickle in and dialed.

"Hello"? Your groggy voice made Eyeball sigh. He hated to wake you. But you were the only one he wanted.

"I need you". Eyeballs lip quivered as he looked around the empty street.

"Where are you"? You didnt even have to ask who it was. When you hear those words you knew who it was.

"Outside the general store". Eyeball gulped down his tears.

"I'm on my way". Putting the phone down you grabbed your coat and slipped on your shoes. The general store wasnt far from your house. You snuck out and started running down the street.

Eyeball sat on the curb, his head was in his hands as he sobbed quietly to himself.

"Richard"! You called out to him as you saw him. You ran faster to him as he looked up.

He didn't move. You sat down beside him and pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around your torso and cried. You never seen him like this before. Never. Something really awful must have happened.

"Rich, what happen"? You ran your hand over his head.

"My ma. She passed".

"Oh god, Rich, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry". You whispered softly to him, rocking him back and forth.

"Where is she"?

"They came and got her. Pop, lost it". Eyeball released you and sat up. The moon was shining, the black eye, busted lip and gash on Eyeballs cheek was very clear.

"He did this to you"? Your trembling hands cradled his face.

Eyeball nodded. "He got Chris too. Bad. I walked in on them. He had Chris cornered, hitting him and kicking him. He thinks we had something to do with her dying". Eyeball scoffed.

"I'm so sorry, Rich. Where's Chris now"? You asked getting worried.

"He ran off when Pop came after me. I tried to fight him. But he's drunk and the liquor gives him super strength. I can't deal with this anymore, Y/N. I can't. I don't want too". Eyeball sobbed into your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him and held him tight.

"What can I do"?

"Just hold me". Richard mumbled through his tears.

You hated seeing him this way. It was rare occasion for Eyeball to show his feelings. It all just hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I love you so much, Rich. I'm not going to let anything else happen to you. Let's go home". You helped him up, wrapping your arms around his waist you both walked back to your house.

You helped him out of his jacket and converses and into bed. You snuggled close to him. He laid his head on your chest. Your hair combed through his curls.

"My mom wasn't the best mom, but she was my mom. I'm gonna miss her". Eyeball mumbled, his eyes were getting heavy.

"I know. Just remember she loved you and tried her best. Keep the happy memories in your heart". You kissed his head.

Eyeball was out, you laid there running your hand through his hair and drifted off yourself.

Morning came, Eyeball and you went down stairs for breakfast. Your mom and dad already knew what happened before you could explain.

"Do you know where your mom will be buried"? Your dad asked Rich.

"No sir. My Aunt Martha, my moms sister is coming into town to take care of it. I'm going to see if Chris and I could stay with her until I can get a place of my own. Or just have her take Chris. We cant stay with our dad".

"Where will you go"?

"I can crash with my friends. Sleep in my car if I have too". Eyeball sighed.

Your father and mother looked at each other sympathetic.

"If you'd like, Chris and you could stay here. We have the basement that needs a little work but it'll be a great room for you two". Your father suggested.

"Really"? You grinned.

"Only until Richard graduates and gets a place of his own".

"I dont know what to say, sir. Thank you". Eyeball sighed with a smile.

"But. There will be rules. I must be out of my mind to let my daughters boyfriend live in my house but I know what it's like to have an abusive father and have someone take me in. Dont make me regret it, son".

"I won't. I promise".

After breakfast, Eyeball and your father went to the Chamber residence to get Chris's and his stuff. The police came along just in case. You and your mother fixed up the basement for them. It wasn't the best but it would do for now. Eyeball was just grateful that him and Chris had a safe place to lay their head.

#eyeball chambers fanfiction #eyeball chambers imagines #eyeball chambers x reader #eyeball chambers imagine #eyeball chambers #eyeball chambers stand by me #cobras stand by me #stand by me imagines #stand by me fanfiction #stand by me imagine #happys-crazy-queen22 #Richard Chambers

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Text

The world keeps spinning (it really shouldn't)

Vance did it. He defeated Josephine, saved his grandpa and Elliot, and saved the town. Everything's fixed.

No. Everything is awful. He failed, and now his friend- now Tom is gone.

And he'd rather fight Josephine all over again, because it'd be easier than what he has to do now- tell Andy about it.

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Relationships: Andy Kang/Tom Sato, Danni Asturias/Imogen Wescott, (dannimogen is background and very brief but i couldn't resist), Andy Kang & Ava Cunningham & Lucas Thomas & Lily Ortiz

Additional Tags: tom dies and everything is awful, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Friendship, for basic context im going with the version of ILITW that i got, which is that everyone survived and noah took jane's place, and then for ILB i did the version where tom dies obviously, (which is not the version i got), (everyone survived), (i feel the need to say this for my own ego), but anyway i was like what if tho. andy would be devastated, and then... this happened?, only difference from canon is that ILITW MC told everyone about noah a lot before, also like. imma be real with yall, im physically uncapable of giving my MCs serious names, so ILB MC was named That Bitch and i didnt want to give him a real name, cuz it felt like betrayal, so im just calling him vance for this one, is it his nickname? is he called vance vance? dont worry about it, Anyway that's it, Pining, you know. before the death part. it's mentioned, also we're ignoring the whole richard tries to murder MC thing, cuz i dont have time for that, so pretend ILB ended on chapter 17, Hopeful Ending, considering the theme i mean

Read it on Ao3

The city of Westchester looks exactly the same, but somehow feels a lot less wholesome, now. Vance walks in it and feels like a corpse among the living, like a ghost screaming to everyone that something's wrong. And being ignored.

It shouldn't look the same, without Tom.

But no one knows, yet.

He swallows, running a hand behind the nape of his neck. That's why he's here, anyway - they should know, they deserve to know, and he doesn't want to have the funeral without Tom's friends there.

Which is why he's going to tell Andy. Himself, in person. Because he might not know him very well, but he wants to do the right thing, and that's the least Andy deserves. He knows there's no one Tom loved like he did Andy, and from what he's seen of them together, the feeling was mutual.

He has to do this. But he feels sick, just thinking about that bond, and how it was ruined.

How could he let this happen to them?

He was so cocky, so stupid, so reckless... He thought everything would turn out okay. Assumed it would, even, because it kept getting him through it, to think that everything would turn out fine.

God. What a joke.

He walks into the little diner Andy had recommended. I'm sure you've heard of that place, Tom loves it, he had texted. We always went there to celebrate our wins back in high school. His stomach had churned, but he didn't say anything, because he wasn't going to tell Andy via text. He has to do this right. It's the least he owes him.

So he pretended that everything was fine, and agreed to meet him there. Woke up, and dragged himself to the place, trying to muster up the courage to face the world that seemed to not even care about his mistakes.

When he gets to the diner's door, he takes a deep breath, trying to ground himself for what he's about to do. Face his own mistakes. Face the pain he caused when he failed them both.

He walks in, and to his relief, and despair, Andy is already there. He smiles brightly when he sees Vance, and Vance wants to disappear.

"Vance! Nice to see you, dude. I heard about what went down in Pine Springs, glad you're okay," he says, not giving time for Vance to answer before continuing, this weird sense of calm and sympathy about him. "So, I assume you still need help with that ghost? From what I've seen in the news, it seemed like you handled it pretty well, but it's not like they are giving us supernatural updates or anything, so I figured there were still some loose ends to tie. Are the other guys coming? Where's Tom?" he looks over behind Vance, and Vance wants to die at the question. God, how is he going to tell him? He didn't really think about that, beyond the part where he has to. "I kind of thought you'd come together again. Bad move to come separated, Tom is always late to everything, I swear if it weren't for me he'd have been kicked out of the team for missing practice too many times. And I'm not the most punctual guy in the world, mind you, but I still had to drag his ass there so he'd be on time- is everything okay?"

Vance is a little shocked by the question. It's not, but what is he supposed to answer? "Andy," he says, a little careful, "things… went a little wrong, back there."

"Oh, shoot," he says, "I'm sorry, man, I kinda assumed, when I heard about how the flooding and the animal attacks were in full swing and then just stopped suddenly, that that was when you got rid of the ghost, you know? And seeing you all in one piece… I thought it was over already. Do you need help? I can round up the guys, and we can go-"

"No, Andy," Vance says, "the ghost is gone."

Andy looks at him, confused. "Then what's the problem?"

"Tom," he says, then winces when he sees all the color drain from Andy's face.

Andy waits for barely a second, then breaks into anxious questioning. "Tom? Why? What do you mean? Is he hurt? How bad is it? Did he have to go to the hospital? Where is he?"

Vance wants to cry. God. God. He can't do this. "Andy..."

Andy just looks at him, eyes wild, terrified, and it hasn't even hit him yet. "Vance. Vance. Please. What happened? Does Tom need me? Because if so, we need to go-"

"Tom's gone," he says, and it leaves him in a rush, a whisper, taking with it the last of his energy. He's empty, and somehow, it's still awful. "He's… he's dead, Andy."

Andy looks at him, eyes wide, unfocused, lost. "This isn't funny," he says. "If Tom put you up to this, knock it off right now. Tell him not to ever joke about-"

"Andy," Vance says, then swallows. "Tom wouldn't joke about that. You know that."

"No, he wouldn't, but..." His eyes begin to water, panic settling in, gaze darting across the room as if searching for him, "But… No. No. No, knock it off."

Vance starts crying before Andy does. "I'm sorry, Andy."

--------

Andy is in shock. He freezes in place, mouth hanging open, everything about him completely still except for his eyes, still so damn wide, still searching the place, searching Vance, begging for something, anything. Vance sits him back down on the table, gently, and Andy lets himself be handled back, eyes still not settling on him.

"I'm sorry," Vance says. "I… I promised you that I would take care of him. I tried, but… I'm so sorry."

"How?" he asks, "how could this happen? This isn't… After Redfield, when everyone survived, I just… I didn't think any of us could lose to another monster, I..." He shakes his head, vigorously, desperately. "This was supposed to be over. We were done, we were free, it was supposed to be over, we were all supposed to be safe, it shouldn't..."

"I'm sorry. It all happened so fast, I… If I had been faster, maybe..."

"Well, it's a bit late for that now," Andy snaps, and Vance bites his lip, not recoiling, because he deserves it. Then Andy stops, as if realizing what he had said, and for a second, his eyes seem clear again. He shakes his head. "No. I'm sorry. I… If there's anything I've learnt from everything that happened, it's that we can't point fingers when things get hard." He finally looks up at Vance, shaking, eerily still, nothing like the guy he was just seconds ago. He's wrecked, Vance thinks, and he wants to tear at himself in guilt. "What happened? Did he- did he drown, or… Did the ghost..."

"We were fighting monsters," Vance explains. "There were just… So many of them, and it all happened so fast, I..." he looks away, not daring to look back at the memory, not daring to remember the awful scene. As if he has to. Everytime he closes his eyes, it's back, punishing him. "We got his body," he explains. "Pine Springs is taking the victims to mass graves, but we wanted to give him a proper burial. I thought… You'd want to come."

Andy seems surprised, like that hadn't crossed his mind. "You haven't buried him yet?"

Vance bites his lip. "No. We're doing it tonight. We didn't have the time before, and… Well, I thought you'd want to be there. And I think he'd have wanted his body to be in Westchester, so..." He trails off.

Andy looks at him, hesitant. He bites his lip, looks away, then back at him. "Can I see the body?"

Vance does recoil, this time. He wasn't expecting this question. "I… You won't want to."

"What do you mean, I won't want to? I need to say goodbye to him, I-"

"Andy," he says, as gently as possible, because he deserves Andy's anger, all of it, but he won't let him do that to himself. "You won't want to remember him like that. His body…" He looks at Andy's eyes. He's still furious, livid, shaking, and he's lost, and Vance realizes that he doesn't get it, doesn't understand what Vance is saying, and this might be even worse than having to tell him Tom is dead. "It's torn to pieces, Andy. There's not much for you to see."

Andy freezes, for the second time that day. "Was he- oh, god," he looks at his own shaky hands, somehow even more in shock than before. "Was it… At least, was it quick?"

Vance starts crying again. He opens his mouth to answer. He can't. He chokes on the words, on his guilt, on his uselessness. "I'm so sorry, Andy."

------

Andy throws up. Once, twice. He doesn't insist on looking at the body. Obviously, he can't. Just imagining it- it's too much.

He tries to comfort Vance, because he- he's trying to do better, with his anger, with his impulsiveness, but all he can think about is how much he wants to destroy something, and honestly, the whole conversation is a blur. He punches the wall instead, once he gets home. And throws up. Again and again. Sends his friends a message, letting them know about the funeral. Cries. Punches the wall again. And again, and again, hoping that his hands will start to bleed, that he'll tear himself apart. His mom asks what's got him so angry, and he yells, "Tom is dead!". Her face twists in shock, and he can't look at it. He runs away.

Being back outside is almost worse. Everything- it should be in shambles. The whole town, the whole world should be on fire, fizzling, filled with screams and despair, like Andy is. He's never lived in a world without Tom before, never been away from him his whole life, and it shouldn't look like it's just the same. Everything should be gone, destroyed. And it is, but it doesn't look that way, and Andy wants to tear it all apart until it makes sense, at least.

He hates Westchester now. He hates it. God damn the stupid woods, and the stupid cult, and the fucking Power! God damn Andy for telling Tom about it, for letting him become this sort of- monster hunter, for believing that just because they overcame a ghost once, it would keep happening if they pushed their luck.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Tom can't be dead. It's impossible.

How can Andy still be standing, if Tom isn't here?

---------

He wanders like that the rest of the day, not noticing the hunger that builds up after going a whole day without eating, not noticing the passersby looking at him worriedly, not noticing the thousands of missed calls from his mom, not noticing anything but this awful despair. He knows the feeling of wanting to claw his chest off intimately well, but it's never been like that before. He wants to carve himself hollow. He wants to scream. He wants to run. And he runs from the all-encompassing nothingness, even though he has nowhere to go.

He goes from angry to empty, and then back to angry, all day long, and the day passes in a blur.

--------

Andy meets up with Vance and two girls from their crew. Their group was pretty small, he realizes. A lot smaller than Andy's was, all those years ago. Three years ago. Forever ago. Another lifetime. Just yesterday.

The cemetery is empty, but there's a grave with a black casket they're standing next to. "I thought all the cemetery crew was helping Pine Springs," he says, like he cares. Honestly, he hadn't thought about the logistics of this at all.

"They are," Vance confirms, serious. "You, uh… You know about Noah, right…?"

Andy nods. "Yeah, we, uh, reintroduced ourselves to him a little after you guys left." It was weird, to say the least. All that anger, all that betrayal, bubbling up again right when they had all started to move on from what had happened, to think that it was over… The urge to scream at him, demand answers… And then seeing all the hurt, and the confusion, and remembering that they had loved Noah, once, most of their lives, and that at the end of the day, the only one who had suffered from his actions was himself.

It wasn't easy to forgive. Not to Andy. Or Stacy. Or Ava. But they had been working on it. Maybe they couldn't forgive, much less forget, but at the same time, they couldn't get rid of that bond, either.

Still… "What does this have to do with… With Tom?" If Noah had anything to do with his death, Andy would kill him all over again. He doesn't care about his freaky powers, he'll die if he has to, but Noah will pay.

"He, uh, helped. Dig the grave and, uh, get a casket. That's how we got everything ready."

Oh. "I… I see," he says. "Is he here?"

"No. I told him you guys were coming, and he said it was better if he left."

"Oh," Andy answers. "I guess that's… Yeah. Still..." he raises his voice a little bit, in the direction of the woods. "Thank you, Noah."

He doesn't see or hear anything, not really, but still, somehow, he can tell that Noah is pleased. He can picture Noah's smile and that fragile little "friendsss..."

He sighs, suddenly exhausted.

Vance seems to notice, god bless his soul. "Are the others coming?", he asks, gently.

"Lily, Lucas, and Ava are," Andy replies. "The rest were out of town, and they… They won't make it."

"I'm sorry."

Andy kicks a pebble. "It's fine," he says. It's the kind of lie that's so absurd that it becomes true. Nothing is fine. It'll never be fine. So it doesn't matter at all, and it ends up being fine.

Vance seems to realize what's going through his head, somehow, because he looks unsure of what to say. Finally, he settles on, "uh, Andy. These are Danni, and Imogen," he says, gesturing to each of them, and Andy musters up enough energy to look at their faces while he does that, at least. Then, his eyes widen for a second, finally taking in what they look like.

"Wait, you're Imogen Wescott?" he says, a little dumbfounded. "When I heard that name, I kinda expected you to be, you know..."

"White and insufferable?" Imogen asks, a little smile directed at him, so gentle he can barely handle it. "Yeah. That's why I'd rather go by Genny, usually."

Danni frowns at her, slightly troubled. "You never told me that."

Imogen's smile turns a little brighter. "Oh, no, not for you, Danni. For you, I'd rather go by 'babe'".

Danni also smiles at her, and they squeeze each other's hands, and the edges of grief seem to turn just a little softer for them both. Andy can tell that things get just a little easier for them, just a little less grim, because they have each other. And he needs to look away, wants to run, because he and Tom… They could've… In a way, they were...

He feels like he's ready to run again. God, he fucked up so bad. What was he supposed to do now, how could he get better when the one thing in the world that always made him feel better was Tom? He lost him, he's gone, it's over, and somehow it hadn't hit quite the way it did at that moment, looking at that connection, that love that showed through grief. He averts his eyes, feeling wild and cornered, and turns back right in time to almost run into Lily - who looks devastated, and reaches out to touch his arm. Which feels crazy, because Andy is raw, and his whole body is bleeding, and rotting away, and who would touch him-

"I'm so sorry, Andy." She says, and Andy finds himself hugging her tight, and he feels like she should wither, die at his touch, suffocate, but she just hugs him back and pats him and Andy cries on her shoulder, and he's never cried in front of her before, much less like this. But he can't stop, he can't do anything, he's so heavy and dizzy and lost-

And Lily is stronger than they give her credit for, because she holds him, this endless weight that is him, even when he shakes and stains her sweater with tears, like it's nothing. She feels so solid, right then, the only solid thing in the world. She's got him, Andy knows, and it's like finally he ran into something he can take shelter in. He takes a deep breath, then another, and holds on for dear life.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says, maybe the only thing he knows how to say right now. Maybe this is how Jane felt, in the end - this endless spectre of regret, bigger than everything, than everyone, encompassing her and drowning her until it ate her whole and left her empty, with only the Power and its evil inside her.

He's so tired, but he's not empty, not yet.

He almost wants to be.

"Don't apologize," Lily says, so sad and sympathetic, and it takes Andy a moment to realize what she's even talking about. "I'm really sorry, I..."

It's only then that Andy's eyes focus enough to see Ava and Lucas standing a little after her, their faces twisted with sadness and bodies frozen in place. At times like this, it really is obvious that Lily is the bravest out of all of them, by far. Andy doesn't think he's ever cried in front of any of them, and Lucas and Ava look- completely lost.

Lucas is the first to talk, out of them both. His voice is very soft. "Andy, if there's anything you need..."

Ava interrupts, words leaving her way too fast. "We'll be staying with you tonight." She blinks for a second, frowning at Lucas. "Sorry, I, uh, hadn't realized you were talking." She looks like she just came out of a daze. She probably had been running that in her head for a while. Lucas puts his hand on her shoulder, and Ava runs a head on her neck, embarrassed.

"It's okay," Andy answers, even though her apology wasn't directed at him. "You don't have to, you know, watch over me or..." He trails off.

"We're not leaving you alone," Ava says, resolute. "You know the others couldn't come, but we all agreed that we should be… You know..."

Andy chokes on something he can't quite feel. He looks down at his feet, and he hasn't felt this small in years. "I… Okay."

Ava reaches out to him, hesitant, and gives him a little pat on the shoulder. Lucas starts rubbing his back soothingly, and, very awkwardly, they gravitate into a group hug. Andy can see the nervousness in Ava's eyes, the worry that she's doing this wrong somehow, like a hug is the most complex thing in the world, and he tries to muster up a little smile of encouragement to her, but he's forgotten how to do that. He doesn't know how to do anything, anymore.

Slowly, they separate, and all three of them still keep some sort of touch with Andy - even Ava, with her hand close to his shoulder - like they're trying to anchor him, but he drifts away anyway, lost in whatever it is that's left of himself.

Vance looks down at him for a moment, as if waiting for a signal, but Andy doesn't know for what, so he waits for Vance to figure it out. Finally, he says, "should we start?"

Andy frowns. "Wasn't there some other guy with you? Pork something?"

Vance, Imogen, and Danni all look at each other, uncertain, surprised, for a moment. It's Imogen who speaks up. "He… He left us."

Ava swallows. "Did he also..."

"No," she says, shaking her head, sadly. "He, uh, deserted the group."

"He what?" Someone asks, shocked, almost outraged, and when Andy sees the looks in everyone's faces, he realizes that it was him.

"He couldn't take it," Vance says, face twisted with sadness. "All the fighting, the monsters… He left."

Andy is shaking. Falling apart. About to explode. "When?"

Vance doesn't look at him. "Right before the final battle."

"He abandoned you when you were going up against the evil ghost?"

"He..." Vance begins, then finds that he has nothing else to say. "Yeah."

"How…" Andy begins, lost for words, and then it happens. He explodes. "How dare he!" He screams. "Tom was counting on him, he trusted him, he needed him, and he just left? He should have been there! He should have been there, he should," Andy looks at his own hands, in shock, watching them tremble and go out of focus, like there are tears blocking his vision, and he feels sick, on the verge of death, and he realizes that he's not talking about that guy at all. "He should have been there!" He slips from his own control, falling to his knees, covering his face, feeling shame, shame, shame, hatred, disgust. "He should… I should… Oh God, I just let him go alone..."

"Andy..." Someone says. Maybe Lucas. Maybe Lily. Maybe the Imogen girl. It sounds so sympathetic. He wants to claw at his own skin and hide.

"I should have been there, I shouldn't… I had experience, what was I thinking..."

"Tom didn't want you to go," someone else says, gently. "I was there when you talked, remember? You didn't abandon him. You said you were going to come, and he told you not to."

"Tom.. Tom is not my damn boss," Andy answers, still covering his face, feeling the tears stop spilling and start to drown him from the inside, and god damn T, the least Tom deserves is for him to be able to cry properly- "I-I should have… gone," he chokes, shaking.

The next one who speaks is Ava. "He wouldn't have wanted you to be at risk, Andy."

"I don't care. I don't care. I'm selfish like that, I'd rather it was me. I could have helped him, I could have saved him, even if I had to- to take his place..."

"Andy..." is all Ava says, sounding shaken, devastated.

"Fuck!" He screams, punching the ground beneath him as if trying to punish the earth for taking Tom. "He would have never left me like that, I could always count on Tom, I could always..." he feels his chest constrict, or maybe burst, with all the tears and horror inside of him, like he's cracking from the inside. "Always..." he can't form the words, can't find the air, and he falls in on himself, more, more, more, closing in, suffocating, "always..." he can't breathe. He can't breathe. He tries to draw it in, to keep himself steady, but every time he tries to bring it in, the air escapes from him again, further, abandoning him, and he wheezes, again, again, closing in further, suffocating, oh God, he's going to die…

"It's a panic attack!" Someone screams, then kneels beside him, putting their hands on his shoulders. "Andy. Andy. Focus on me. You need to breathe. Deep lungfuls. Come on. I'll count to four. Keep breathing in. 1… 2..."

"Can't," he wheezes. It's too strong, like there's something… Something constricting his chest, inside and outside, and then he realizes… "Binder." He sits down straighter, no longer closing in on himself, and that awful vulnerability gets even worse, but it's easier to breathe. He follows the person's counts… 1, 2, 3, 4… Then up to five, then to six, then to seven, then eight… Until finally he doesn't need help, and he opens his eyes and contemplates the absolute mess that he is, and Imogen's kind, relieved face just inches from him.

"Good, Andy, you did well… I have these sometimes, too, I know how scary they are, you were so brave..." Imogen keeps on saying, painfully understanding, and he nods, a bit exhausted to explain. He didn't take his binder off all day, didn't remember… And if he wears it for too long, he's more prone to hyperventilating, especially if he's stressed. Tom knew that. Tom would have known what was going on. Tom… Fuck.

"I'm sorry," he says, to everyone, and no one in particular.

"Don't apologize. We're all glad you're okay," Lily says, and he realizes that, somehow, she had also kneeled beside him and brought him into another hug. He hides his face on her shoulder, shaking his head, trying to breathe. Breathing. She pets his head, a little bit, and he can feel some more touch, too - little pats on his shoulder and back, all gentle, not crowding him, like he's some sort of wild animal they're trying to calm down.

God, what a mess.

He holds Lily tighter, wanting to hide from the world. She lets him, because it's the kind of person Lily is. He feels himself drift away, for a while, but Lily's still petting his head and he can't lose himself completely. He shakes his head, wanting to fight it, almost wanting to get away from Lily, but he can't escape the gentleness in her embrace. He still can't cry, but he feels his eyes water and burn anyway, and he shakes his head against Lily's shoulder. He just wants this to be over. Please, he's so exhausted.

His breaths even, despite himself, but Andy keeps shaking, and he keeps shaking his head slightly against Lily. He wants this to end, it has- has to be a nightmare…

"Shh, Andy, don't hold it in, it's okay," Lily says, slowly, sadly, and Andy shakes his head more vigorously. No. He can't be weak right now, it's only going to make it last longer. He needs to end it, can't be done with this until Tom has gotten his goodbyes.

It's the least Andy owes him, now that there's nothing else he can do.

So, he speaks up.

"We should go on," he says, suddenly feeling resolute. It's easier to do this if he has something to focus on. He needs to see this through the end, for Tom. If he thinks only about that...

"Are you sure?" Vance asks, hesitant.

Andy nods, forcing his vision to focus. "He needs to rest."

----------

Everyone's speeches go by in a blur. Vance talks about how good Tom's heart was, how he was willing to drop everything to go help a bunch of strangers, how everyone could always count on him. He cries, and he says he's sorry, and the girls put their arms around him, tell him that he did his best. Imogen brings up how kind he was, and Danni talks about his strength. They really loved him, Andy notices, and feels his heart settle just a little bit. He was loved till the end. Of course he was.

Lucas talks about how supportive Tom was, how he was always uplifting everyone around him and would let Lucas babble on about conservation for hours. Lily brings up how much he believed in her and supported her when she was making her videogames. Ava says that Tom was the only one who ever saw her looking up Westchester's history and cults and just… Sat down with her and helped, understanding that she needed this to feel safe, to feel ready, and sharing that burden of getting ready for a disgrace, just a little bit. Andy never knew that Tom had been joining Ava for research. He could've helped with that, too. He could have done a lot of things, if he had paid more attention.

He's left for last, and a part of him wants to be a coward, to stay silent, but that was never his style.

"When Tom had turned into a zombie," he begins, "Redfi- Jane made him hurt me. And I wasn't worried for myself. I was worried for him. I wanted him back, no matter what it took, no matter what happened to me," he begins, not looking at anyone in particular, because he knows most of them already know this story, but he's not going to- he's not going to deny Tom the chance to know how he felt about him, before he rests. It's the least Andy owes him.

So, he takes a deep breath and goes on, pushing himself into saying something that matters.

"Then our friends showed up, and they said that Tom was still there. That I had to reach out to him. So I tried. I talked to him about our childhood. About how much he had been supporting me… How he was my best friend. He was hesitant, but so… Scared. I didn't know what to do. Tom and I always got each other..." He loses himself a little, shaking his head, purging the thoughts that were keeping him from going on, "And then someone said, 'Andy's hurt. H-he needs help'." He loses focus for a second, and that can't happen. He takes a breath, tries to make himself talk. "And just like that… Tom came back.

"He extended his hand to me, and helped me to my feet, and suddenly there was color in his face again, and for a second he wasn't even confused as to what the hell was going on, he just wanted to make sure I was okay. He came back because I needed him. Because he couldn't bear to hurt me. He was always there for me, and I… I don't think I ever needed him more than right now."

He stops a minute, to look at the faces surrounding him. There's a grief in them that looks almost like… Pity.

And Andy isn't even mad about it. He feels pitiful.

"I'm not the best guy with words," he admits, "so I don't know how to express how much this meant to me, or how much Tom meant to me. No one understood me like him. Tom is… Was… No, is a part of me. Maybe the best part of me, because I loved him more than anything else about myself. I'll miss him for the rest of my life." He looks down at Tom's grave, carved out of anything else to say. "I love you, buddy."

It's not the greatest speech that's ever been given, but it's what he can say, and at least he's done it. He'll be able to do better, later. He'll come back to talk to him again. As many times as he can, for as long as he can. He swears on that.

Andy steps back from the grave, and doesn't look as they slowly fill it, covering the closed casket with dirt. He finally allows himself to let the exhaustion catch up with him, and is overcome by that blissful, blissful emptiness.

---------

He's fully expecting himself to drop asleep as soon as they get to Ava's place. They decided to stay there for the night, because Andy still doesn't want to face his mom, to see that same grief in her, for her to want to talk to him, to tell him that everything would be fine. He can't do that, not today. At least Lucas had enough foresight to warn her of where they are, so she should leave him alone for now. Lucas is very reliable in a crisis, Andy thinks, making a note to himself to thank him properly later.

But he can't sleep. He's too exhausted to even rest. And for some reason, even though he doesn't want to talk, that's exactly what he found himself doing for the past few hours. Vomiting up all sorts of memories and thoughts, ranging from funny moments he had with Tom to all of his regrets, and Andy's always been kind of a stress-talker, but it's never been like this. He feels like he's been skinned alive; there's nothing to hold himself together, to hold anything at all in.

He cries all the tears he didn't think he had left in him anymore, and he curses himself, and the guy who left them in the end, and Noah, and the Power, and the cult, and himself again. He scratches his own skin until Lucas gently takes his hands in his, stopping him from doing more of it. And he talks, through all of that. Talks and talks and talks.

The words make him drift through memories, through states of mind, and he knows he's so damn volatile today, it's like he can't anchor himself to a feeling, but his friends put up with him anyway.

Finally, he starts to settle into this sort of… Slowness, like his mind is clear, or maybe blank, even as he keeps on thinking. And he keeps talking through it, letting all the minor regrets have their turn after he's too damn done to keep dealing with the worst parts.

"I never told him I was in love with him," Andy says, staring at the three empty mattresses in front of him, because it's easier than looking at any of his friends, who are currently sitting right beside him, as he babbles on. "I was going to, you know? After R- Jane. I had almost died, so I figured, you know- yolo, and all that. And then I told myself, 'I'll wait until I'm out of the hospital.' And then I started to think… What if he didn't feel the same way? What if things got weird? What if I end up losing him? And I never told him," he looks at his own feet, "and now I lost him anyway."

They all just look at him. They used up all the "I'm sorry, Andy"s left in them a long time ago, he thinks. There's only so many platitudes you can muster up when you know they're worthless, when you're just repeating yourself.

God bless them for trying, though. They're sticking with him through their own- everyone's inadequacy to deal with what's going on. Andy can't thank them enough for that.

"He knew you loved him," Ava says, serious, and Andy frowns at her, doubtful. "He might not have known you were in love with him, but… He knew how much he meant to you. I'm sure of it."

Andy laughs, humorless, "did you finally get those mind reading powers you wanted?" he says. It falls flat, but they pretend it doesn't, for his sake.

Ava rolls her eyes. "Don't be an ass, Kang," she says. "No. I just… I can tell. Anyone can."

Andy bites his lip, looking away.

She presses on, as gently as she can. "Besides, you also know, don't you? Regardless of anything else… Tom loved you, just as much as you loved him."

"I still love him," Andy says, before he can think about it, and a weird kind of shame creeps up on him - for saying it, for not saying it sooner, for realizing that this… It'll probably never go away, even now that it's completely pointless, that it's just proof of his cowardice.

"That's… Normal," Lily says, fiddling a little with her sweater. "You don't forget someone just like that, just because something happened. I mean, look at me and Britney. It took me years to get over her, and even then, I had to have supernatural forces show me exactly who she was, first."

"She didn't deserve you," Ava says.

"Maybe not. It doesn't matter now," Lily says. "The point is… It's okay to still love him."

Andy hugs his knees. "I don't think anything is okay, right now."

"That's okay, too."

They stay in silence for a moment, and then Lucas speaks up. "I know 'it gets better' stories don't really help at times like these," he says, "so I won't tell you that, but… I know what it's like, to feel like nothing will ever be okay, ever be enough. So… At least you're not alone, in that feeling."

Andy's mouth does something. It's not a smile, but it's what it can do right now. "Yeah. At least it's not like last time," he says. "With Jane. We all fell apart, and… It felt really lonely, even though..." He chokes up. "I had Tom."

Lucas rubs at Andy's shoulder sadly, and Andy shakes his head.

"It's just that he didn't get it, you know? And I couldn't tell him, about what happened," he says, instead of thinking about how much worse this is, no matter how many friends he has by his side right now. "So I… Missed you guys." He finishes, ashamed.

"We get it," Ava says, solemn. "And we're sticking with you, this time around."

"Yeah," Lucas agrees.

"Yeah," Lily adds.

"Okay," Andy answers. "I… Thanks."

They hug him tighter. It's all they have to say.

#it lives #andy kang #tom sato #andy x tom #tom x andy #it lives beneath #ilb #it lives in the woods #ilitw #ilb mc #i feel like ive been editing this fic my entire life #also apparently i write deathfic now. thats uh. something #anne ways. have this

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i-am-ironic · 4 years

Text

Daminette arranged mariage au part 7

**************************

Damian arrived right on time as usual, to pick Marinette up for dinner. In the car they went over the plan one last time.

"So the plan right now is just to tell your brothers that we are dating until the papers go through confirming you are Xander's father, right?" Marinette said watching the city fly by.

"It shouldn't take long." Damien replied, "Rich families tend to get things done faster then anyone else. Everything should be in order before the end of dinner."

"But what about when they start asking questions?"

"We avoid the questions until the paperwork goes through, then we can tell them the whole story." He Paused thinking back. "When I got back I didn't talk about what happened. I didn't tell anyone so they should be interested enough in the story to leave their questions till the end."

"This might not go well dames," Marinette started Fidgeting with her bracelet, "what if they don't like me? Or they think I'm helping your mother? Or what if-"

"No, mari." He said, his voice bringing her away from her anxious thoughts, "it will be fine. i promise. they will love you and once we explain, everything will be fine. We are here are you ready?"

She nodded and stepped out of the car. The manor was even more extravagant then she had imagined. She was going to need to come back to sckech just the doorway not to mention the rest of the house. Thinking about the architecture helped to calm her nerves.

"Here we go" she said stepping up to the door. It opened before dhe even had the chance to knock. Behind the door was an elderly man in a suite.

"Hello Ms my name is Alfred, I am the Wayne's butler and your name is?"

"Just call me marinette.”

“I must insist it wouldn't be proper to call you anything but your last name.” Alfred said.

“Just marinette for now but you will probably know my last name by the end of the night.” he looked at her curiously, why didn’t she want him to know her name yet?

“Very well ms marinette,” he said before turning to damian, “master damian your family is waiting for you in The sitting room.”

the two of them walked into the room and marinette was expecting a lot of things, but not this. damian just looked so done with his family.

“Ahem.”he said drawing attention to himself. “Marinette these are my brothers Dick is the one hanging from the chandelier” she waved at the familiar man. “Tim is the one drinking straight from the pot of coffee and Jason is the one throwing knifes at Dick. Oh and cass is the only normal one sitting on the couch.”

“Hey!” the boys all yelled in unison.

“Its a pleasure to see you again marinette.” bruse said before the boys could start arguing “I presume that our other guest will be here after dinner?”

“That is correct Mr Wayne.”

“Its Bruce as I have told you.”

marinette rooled her eyes smiling. She wasn't going to call him Bruce

“Hold on what other guest?” Jason said confused.

“Dinner is served.” alfrid said from the doorway as he lead the group out of the room.

“Damian wait!” Dick said reaching out for his little brother. Damian turned glancing at marinette who nodded.

“What do you want Grayson?” he siad eager to get back to marinette.

“I don't think you should be seeing marinette you know how dangerous our 'job' is and-”

“She can take care of herself” he cut his brother off turning to follow were the rest of the group had gone.

Dick grabbed Damian’s arm makeing him stay this was importent.“I'm sure she can but she has a 2 year old son who can't take care of himself and I don't think-”

“Richard.” that got his attention damian never called anyone by their first name.

“Yes?”

“Xander is my son.” that took a moment to Process before-

“WHAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE IS YOUR SON!”

without answering Damian walked out of the room. Dick folowed him into the dining room, where evryone looked at the two.

“Dick whats wrong? we heard yelling and you look like you saw a ghost.” Cass said conserned.

“Its nothing,” Damian replied sharing a meningful look with marinette. “I'm sure Grayson is fine. so marinette do I need to take any of my brothers to the garden”

evryone looked shocked at the implicashons but marinette just giggled.

“No they have all been wonderful. besids you know i can handle your brothers.”she smiled.

“Listen, marinette, if damian kidnapped you blink twice.” jason said in a sereous tone.

she gigaled again, “He didn't kidnap me besides we both know I can beat damian in a fight.”

“take that back! i have beaten you plenty of times before.” this made the boys and cass very intrested, if damian was defending himself he must have actualy tried to beat her, and falled.

“Dames I beat you 68% of the time.” interesting.

“so you admit i have beaten you before!” he said triumfently.

“Yeah when I let you win.” damians mouth fell open in legitament showk. he looked over at his father, who nodded, before making a statment that would change this family forever.

“Marinette Anne dupan-chang al Ghul Wayne you take that back right this minute!”

the reactions were very mixed. Dick was shocked. not only did his baby brother have a child but it apered that he was marred. Jason didnt know what to think. he had begun to coneckt the dots, marinette had foud the father of her chiled, she then showed up with his brother and she had the same last name as him. $#*! Tim alerdy knew about all this from his reserch and cass decided to wait for an explanation.

“No.” marinette said scrunching up her noes playfully. "I refuse to take it back."

there was silence for a moment before Bruce spoke.

“Maybe we should continue this discussion in the sitting room”

“So would you like to explain why marinette has the same last name as you?” cass said once they reached the other room.

“Not really but-”

“dames be nice, we knew we were going to explain when we came here tonight. I'll text luka.”

.”Who's Luka?” Tim said, he hadn't read anythig about a ‘Luka’.

“Its a long story so let's start from the beginning,” marinette started.

“Three and a half years ago I was walking back to my family's house after hanging out at a friend's house. Before I got home I saw a man who needed help, so I went over to help. him i cant remember what he was doing but when I got there I felt a prick in the back of my neck. I pulled the dart out before I hit the ground. The next thing I knew I was in a room laying on a coute. the door was locked and I could hear yelling from someone else in the building. I could tell it was a man but I couldn't make out what he was saying. it wasn't in french I later found out he was speaking Arabic. After the yelling stopped i heard the door unlock and got ready to run but when the door opened a woman was standing there with two big men behind her. She walked in and because of the two men I couldn't run. She started speaking to me in french she said 'my name it Talia. I need you to put on this ceremonial dress.' To which I replied as any sane person would that I wasn't going to put on the dress and they needed to take me back home. She asked 'did you hear that man yelling a moment ago?' 'Yes?' I said though I wasn't sure what that had to do with anything. 'if you don't put it on and do what I say I will kill him.' So I put on the dress. They tied my hands behind my back and blindfolded me before leading me out of the cell I was in. When they took the blindfold off I was kneeling at an alter. Talia began speaking in french so I could understand. She was saying things about the strongest bond known to man, and a queen for the future king. I didn't understand what she meant until I turned to see a boy my age bound and kneeling next to me. Thats when it hit me we were getting married. She made us drink something from a chalice before we were ushered into a different room. We were both untied and left alone. the door locked behind us. The only thing in the room was a bed. The boy introduced himself as damian and said that he wasn't sure why his mother made us get married but that he was going to get some answers. He looked pretty cute when he said that.”

Damian blushed at her compliment.

“Anyway Talia's explanation was that damian was 16 and for the league that meant he was a man and had to get married. And I had the great honor to be the one he married. I, was pissed. She said that as such a powerful magic user i was worthy to marry the future king of the league of assassins. I was even more pissed. She had the audacity to say that getting married, AT 16, to someone you had never met was a good thing. That little-”

“Alright mari I'll take over.” Damian said resting a hand on her sholder. “Anyway she said that after a year of mari training with the league we could go back to our normal lifes until we turned 18, at which point if we didn't at least move in together they would kill one of us. best mom ever. After that we were left alone to talk. Every day we trained and talked and worked hard. Once a month they would move us to a different compound and give us a huge array of blood tests. We became good friends. it was us against everyone else. Since we were already married we decided to give this whole romantic thing a try. But after six months I was sent to meeting with Talia she said I was going home and knocked me out sending me back to you. I searched and searched but I couldn't find any sign of marinette. so I had to asume Talia killed her. I couldn't think about France without thinking about her so I blocked all news from France. I didn't say anything to anyone for a month. And evrey year for one day I couldn’t speak, the anniversary of the last day I saw her alive.”

“I wasn't dead incase you were wondering.” marinette said picking up where damian left off,” I was sent to the med bay. No one would tell me what was happening or were damian was until Talia came in and said damian had fulfilled his usefulness. she exsplaned The only reason i was there was because damian had spent to much time with his father and had gone soft. The league needed a new heir to the throne. They picked me to be the mother of that heir. I was stuck there for months. I knew they weren't going to let me go. After the baby was born they were going to kill me. One day something big happened, I don't know what but it was big enough no one was watching me. I escaped. I hiched rides to France and snuck across borders. When I finally got back i saw a doctor as soon as I could. I didn't know if the baby was ok. He was born when I was 17.” she turned to the door where a young man stood holdng a toddler who scrambled down and ran over to his parints. “Everyone I would like you to meet Xander Thomas dupan-chang al Ghul Wayne.”

“Damian you have a son.” cass said wide eyed.

“I'm aware” damian said handing the boy his phone with a game already opened up.

“Xander is my nephew??????” Dick said staring at the boy like he had grown a secend head.

“Yes.” marinette said simply.” It took a year to defeat Paris' villain. After that I moved here to find damian and tell him about Xander.”

“Dang. So you know about Robin then?”

“Yep”

“Why didn't you say anything??? I've known you for over a year and you said nothing????” the betrayed jason said.

“I didn't want to explain anything until I could tell damian. i thought He should be the first to know about his son.”

“We have a break in at gatham museum.” alfered said over the intorcom

“We are not done with this conversation.” Bruce said.

“Suite up!” called Tim.

“Marinette do you want to come?”

she smiled at her husband “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

************

I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter I've ever written yay me. Pro tip if you see a centipede in your house DON'T TUCH IT it can and will sting you and it will hurt, my little brother just got stung by one. Anyway im glad so many of you like this story thanks for all the love! If you want to be tagged please let me know you can ether message me or reply to this. And if anyone can explain how to link things the pretty way with just "here" underlined that would be great. if you asked to be tagged and you weren't then ask again and ill put you on the list.

@thestressmademedoit

@abrx2002

@depressedrainbowcake

@myazael

@toodaloo-kangaroo

@bisha43rbs

@ur-average-reader

@crystalangelluna

@animezodiac707

@thenillabean

#arranged marriage au #batfam #damian wayne #damien #maridami #marinette cheng #marinette x damian #miraculous marinette #maribat #marriage #marinette x damian happy #daminette

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

Text

I’ve often thought that a common sentiment in the public that people carefully avoid mentioning around Bruce - but not around Dick - is that Dick was adopted as a ‘consolation prize’ after Jason’s death. Ugly thought, true, but from the perspective of a public who loves gossipping about the Waynes and who have made their opinions of Dick all too clear in both canon and fanfic.....like, from their perspective, how must it look that Bruce raised Dick from the age of eight without ever making him anything other than his ward....and then they had that big fight apparently, that led to Dick moving out and basically being persona non grata around Gotham and never seen coming home.....whereas Jason was adopted by Bruce within months and was constantly seen being called son by Bruce, etc.

And then again as far as the public knows, Dick Grayson only ‘comes back’ after Jason’s death and he and Bruce seem to slowly be working on rebuilding their relationship....and a couple years after Jason died, and several years after Dick’s wardship expired on his eighteenth birthday without any mention from Bruce Wayne as to his now ex-ward’s status or even where he was or what he was doing with his life....no indication that Bruce was ever seen celebrating Dick’s eighteenth birthday or expressing any sentiment on what was effectively the severing of their legal ties at that point, and the end of Bruce’s obligations to Dick, no sign of him in Dick’s life or vice versa in years to follow, Dick rarely if ever seen keeping company with his somewhat little brother Jason....

Its only years after all of this that Bruce finally adopts Dick.....or like, people guess that’s what happens? Its not clear, exactly, because one day Dick’s got no legal ties to Bruce and hasn’t for years, and the next he’s been adopted. There’s no real scoop, nobody that got the exclusive about the event, because as far as anyone can tell....there was no event. There’s no story. Just he wasn’t adopted and now he was, and....neither Dick Grayson nor Bruce Wayne seem to have a comment on this, when it happened, WHY it happened, why NOW? After all this time? Why not earlier? Its just...there. Bruce Wayne, who famously throws parties for anything, pretty much, makes no official announcement about his son’s new status, there’s no party or celebration to honor it or mark the occasion, mark the adoption as noteworthy whatsoever.....

Because after all, it was just Dick and Bruce in the Batcave, Bruce handing him the adoption papers to sign and saying this is long overdue and doesn’t change anything and he’s always felt this way anyway.....

And to a guy who has not so secretly wanted this for YEARS, who has had Bruce literally throw his own knowledge of that not so secret yearning of his YEARS ago and thus who KNOWS full and well that its absolutely BULLSHIT to claim that ‘he’s always felt this way and knows Dick always knew that and didnt need a piece of paper so its not like this changes anything’.....like this had to be anticlimactic as HELL, but what do you say to that? How do you tell the dad who has caused you no small amount of angst and hurt and uncertainty as to where you even stand in his life that no, he didn’t take it for granted that Bruce felt this way, like, say, when Dick’s eighteenth birthday came and went with no sign of Bruce, no attempt from Bruce whatsoever to express in any way that he still wanted Dick in his life, still wanted to BE in Dick’s life, even without them legally bound to each other any longer.......how do you give your dad any of the well-earned shit he DESERVES for taking his precious time on this due to his own rejection and inadequacy issues in the moment he is at least FINALLY offering the thing you’ve wanted for so long and saying at least some of the things you’ve spent so long wanting to hear.....like...you can’t? Not then at least?

Whatever the intentions of the writers, the sheer anticlimacticness surrounding Dick’s actual adoption kinda....backed him into a corner where he couldn’t really express any emotion other than gratitude or happiness over the adoption without coming off as a total ungrateful asshole.....even though you kinda gotta wonder.....what did he tell his best friends about it? How did he relay the story to Roy, to Donna, etc.....the people who actually KNOW what this meant to Dick and how badly he wanted it, and would want him to dish on every single moment of what happened, they wanted to savor it.....and thus who would of course know the second he hesitated that something was wrong, Bruce had done something to fuck up even Dick’s biggest wish, if Dick was obviously trying not to say anything bad or negative or hint that it wasn’t like.....how he’d envisioned it or what all he’d been hoping for....but also not wanting to tell them the truth without embellishment, because you KNOW Donna and Roy and Wally and Garth would just be sitting there like:

“Wait. Hold up. You’re telling me you and Bruce had just got done with a case, you were getting ready to go home, you’re both STILL IN COSTUME, and in the BATCAVE, freaking ALFRED isn’t even present, and Bruce just.....kinda hands you the papers and pen and says here, I know I should have done this years ago but I really mean it, be my kid please? THAT’S IT????”

Yeah. I do NOT see that retelling ever having played well with the Titans, which makes me suspect Dick kinda...delayed in telling them until he could sneak it in and mention it as something that had happened awhile back and he’d just been too busy with hero stuff to make a big deal about it at the time and now it felt weird like it’d been too long. Because imo he wouldn’t have WANTED the Titans to weigh in on how they REALLY felt about how Bruce went about it, because he was likely trying to hold on to all the POSITIVE emotions it’d kindled for him and not like......focus so much on the Bruce-ness of it all making the approach something of a letdown after all the time he’d spent waiting and wanting.

And like.....when you’ve gone about adopting the kid you have a monumental track record of fucking up on telling how you really feel about him....in such a way that he probably felt awkward directly relaying to his best friends in a ‘omg this is huge news, tell us everything’ kinda story....

YOU’VE FUCKED IT UP.

But anyway, point is, Dick’s actual adoption came and went with such a HUGE lack of fanfare in any and every community, superhero and public, and probably didn’t even become KNOWN until someone went to write something about them and got fact-checked like “according to public records, Richard Grayson IS actually the legally adopted son and heir of Bruce Wayne as of this date etc etc”.....and when THAT news hit the public, how else were they going to view things?

Like, a gossip hungry readership not known to view Dick Grayson favorably were never going to think “oh its probably due to personal feelings about his parents and not wanting to replace them, I bet he was the one who never wanted to be adopted before now, that makes sense.”

LOLOL. Like. No. That’s not how the DC public sees it, I bet you anything.

Nah, in my head its FAR more likely that they looked at all of that and did THIS math instead:

Bruce Wayne takes in a young circus boy out of the goodness of his heart, raises him from the age of eight, but never makes him anything other than his ward. Good thing too, probably, given they have some sort of falling out when the Grayson boy is older, and the kid leaves town and good riddance, we hear he’s up in New York partying it up with models and has some alien superhero girlfriend, but nobody’s heard so much as his name mentioned around Wayne in ages so he’s not exactly Gotham news anymore. But no matter, Brucie’s gone and done it again, taken in another young orphan but this time its a local boy he adopted as his son right from the word go! Now that’s a story!

PLUS

Bruce Wayne’s adopted son Jason tragically dies all too young. In the wake of his loss, it appears Brucie’s making an attempt to mend fences with his former ward, or more likely, he’s gone running back to cozy up to Daddy Warbucks in an attempt to milk some more money out of that softie’s heart with a well-rehearsed conciliatory gesture.

PLUS

A couple years later, people start finding out that Bruce Wayne apparently did actually legally adopt Dick now, after all this time, though neither has so much as mentioned it publicly until now, for some reason.

EQUALS

My guess for how the public views it:

Bruce Wayne took in Dick and raised him as his ward but never really felt THAT way about the kid, not like Jason Todd-Wayne who he took one look at and knew ‘this is my kid’....but after losing Jason tragically, and with his family-owned company and board of directors being after him for some time about the importance of an heir in the optics of the dynastic corporate sphere.....Brucie probably decided to try and make the most of the one remaining sorta son he had left, and make a go of reconnecting with the former ward who was CLEARLY never his first choice to adopt as his proper son and heir before, but now apparently is good enough.

*Shrugs* That’s my honest bet for something Dick’s probably heard about his adoption more than a few times: that he was adopted as a consolation prize after Bruce’s ‘real son’ Jason died and Bruce felt driven to try and surround himself with whatever semblance of family he had left.

I mean, what else are you gonna get when you offer the public a paparazzi-enabling, glamorous sneak peek of your life at all other times, and absolute nada for the occasion of finally adopting the kid you’ve raised since age eight with absolutely NOTHING to show for it, not even a family friend who can be quoted as having been there to bear witness?

tl;dr - After all the damn parties and galas Bruce trotted Dick out to whether he wanted to or not, because that sorta thing is just what came with being a Wayne (the Wayne Dick wasn’t), the :LEAST Bruce owed Dick after years of estrangement and doubts directly inspired by him and his unwillingness to even OFFER Dick the option of adoption if he wanted it.....was to invite him to a party celebrating Dick himself and showing the world once and for all that he very much did want Dick in his life and as a part of his family, nothing less.

Dick’s never hated PARTIES, Bruce you giant dumbass. Dick hated going to parties where people talked about how he didn’t belong or how he was nothing but a PR charity stunt for Bruce.

Dick, in point of fact, might have very very MUCH enjoyed an actual public celebration where for the first time in his life, NO ONE could claim he didn’t belong or try and insinuate he was nothing but a charity case to Bruce. An event where the only point was to show tangible proof to all the naysayers: Bruce Wayne is Dick Grayson’s father and Dick is his son, and not a damn thing less.

THAT gala, Dick might have been more than happy to attend.

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chikkou · 3 years

Note

I'd ask this on your Lisa sideblog but you don't have anon on and I'm shy lol, but do you have any headcanons relating to Lisa the First? Like Lisa's views on religion, her relationship with her mother, if any of the various worlds we see mean anything?

hoh man i didnt even know anon wasnt on LMAO... ill turn it on after i post this!

also fuck YEAH i do holy shit i fucking LOVE lisa the first!! i know its sort of the black sheep of the lisa series, since it is a completely different type of game and was clearly austins first game, but i fucking ADORE it dude. the music - which he made ENTIRELY IN THE FREE TRIAL OF FL STUDIO BY THE WAY - is FANTASTIC, the art direction is actually pretty fucking incredible for an rpgmaker game that uses a good deal of basic assets, and the gameplay.... ok yeah that part is a bit lacking but its a yume nikki-style game be nice it was his first time LMAO

ANYWAY back to ur question. first and foremost, i think this is not even a headcanon so much as straight up canon, but lisa DESPISES christianity. marty is christian, probably catholic given the golden crosses everywhere, and he is a fucking scumbag hypocrite. lisa likely associates all of christianity with this line of thinking, as there is one room in the bile area where the melted martys (although i suppose we can just call them joy mutants now LMAO) simply stand in a circle surrounding one big cross. the role of the melted martys is up for interpretation of course, as is everything, but after playing the painful and seeing them described as “mindless sheep,” i think this is how lisa viewed them. so they likely represent other people that, to lisa, are probably just as sick and disgusting as marty

lisas relationship with her mother... i go back and forth on this one a lot. i can never decide if i prefer the headcanon that lisas mom died in childbirth, and so lisa never met her, or if i prefer that lisas mom was around for a very short time and then either left or died. the fact that she says “i didnt want to leave” at the end of the first leads me to believe that she most likely died. in either case, the memory of her mother was clearly important to lisa, as she wears her pendant through the entire game and its explicitly noted as being a gift from her. in either case, i think that the death/absence of the mother is heavily implied to be the primary cause behind martys descent into alcoholism and lisas abuse, since the white room strongly implies that marty did at one time sincerely love and care for her as a father properly should

as for the meaning of each of the rooms, i think most of them are fairly self explanatory, but some of them are a bit more vague, so ill break it down in terms of how i see it (and ill put them under the cut because its long as hell):

martys house - this is the most literal one. pretty self-explanatory. the dark, yet vibrant colors and the ear-bleedingly loud tv are pure sensory overload, something lisa probably deals with on a regular basis. when lisa goes outside and it turns into a sky of marty faces, i think this is the transition into the psychological part of the game

the lobby - this is honestly just pure yume nikki ripoff LMAO... but if i had to ascribe a symbolic meaning to it, i think its probably a quiet and safe area for lisa to retreat to in her mind when she needs it, but even that eventually gets sullied as tricky rick makes his way there, too (and tells her hes “just waiting” when she talks to him). the majority of gameplay is lisa searching for items with which to kill tricky rick, who always abuses and disparages her whenever she talks to him, telling her she’ll never forget. as for the reason why... well, take one look at him and its pretty clear whats going on there. (the name is also a reference to richard nixon, whose nickname was... well, you can figure it out!)

the town - the bar area is 100% my favorite from this world; lisa clearly hates alcohol and anyone who drinks it, associating them all with marty, and that music... all i can say is YUCK. the entire section also consists of lisa having to give up something in exchange for what she needs to move on, and usually getting the raw end of the deal out of it (she gives one marty a banana, he gives her a banana peel in return). she does all that while avoiding a marty following her outside who repeatedly tells her “you cant escape,” and upon reaching tricky rick (who is atop a narrow, columnar, PINK mountain), it becomes pretty clear whats happening to her.

the sea room - fucking marty spiders man. im assuming they represent the sickly feeling of crawling skin she gets when she looks at him or is anywhere near him, but holy GOD they are annoying to deal with. she kills tricky rick with pills here - we dont know what kind of pills these are, but i interpret them as sleeping pills, and given the rumbling music and the rapid cycling marty background, i wonder if he forced her to take these. marty is everywhere here, but the only one she can speak to is seen chilling on a raft of some kind. marty likely spent much of his time recreationally, i.e. drinking, so it makes sense why this would be here

the rope room - theres no symbolism here this is just pure comedy (LMAO). if i HAD to assign some meaning to this area, it would be that lisa likely is so despondent at this point that putting in effort to do anything feels utterly pointless, much like climbing this long-ass rope was

the white room - as i mentioned earlier, i personally believe that this area depicts the previous relationship between marty and lisa (and also has one of my favorite songs in the game). he is shown doing traditional fatherly things - he is no longer wearing sunglasses and is wearing a suit, meaning he was likely employed, and is actually smiling. he also spends time with her in a completely platonic, familial way. when she interacts with him, there is a little heart over his head. after lisa walks through the golden statues (which will reappear later), the entire world becomes filled with bile, and martys appearance returns to that of the other martys, but with an extremely warped, grotesque face. the item she needs in this area to kill tricky rick is found between two golden crosses.

notice that all of the items she kills tricky rick with - a razor, pills, and now a plastic bag - are things that a child could plausibly get their hands on; none of them are explicitly weapons. i think this shows both her age and how often she must have considered using those things against him.

the bile room - probably my favorite area in the game, and also features what i consider the quintessential lisa song. this area really drives home lisas disgust with marty and with christianity as a whole - it almost certainly has the highest concentration of crosses, and it is also quite literally covered in wall-to-wall bile, dirty water, and disgusting houses. a lot of the most graphic sights, like the melting martys and the pond martys (no idea what to call them LMAO) are here, so i think this is pretty much the lowest circle of hell for lisa. marty gives lisa a freshly cut finger in exchange for a napkin here; im not necessarily sure what that represents, but i think the napkin was used by marty to masturbate (as he says “i needed that” after he takes it), so perhaps the finger is martys?

lisa kills tricky rick here in a cave that is not-so-subtly shaped like a penis, and gets a vhs tape in which he pretty explicitly states what is going on in the game; he even pretends like he doesnt know who lisa is at first, which somehow makes it even more disgusting. the fact that vhs tapes play a role here sort of makes me wonder if marty really WAS filming some of what he was doing, and given that lisa the joyful confirms that brad was forced to somehow participate in lisas abuse, that is.... horrific to think about, honestly

the marty tape - this tape just has the player (as marty) walk up to lisa and suited marty, who are having a tea party with a plastic tea set. they both get hearts over their heads if you talk to them. i think this drives home that he and lisa did once have a normal relationship, and perhaps theres some part of marty who misses that? theres a LOT of ways you can interpret this; having the player become marty really calls a lot into question.

the mansion - the room leading here has a marty staring directly at the player who informs lisa that she needs a sword to progress. unsubtly, the sword must be placed into the crotch of a womans statue. the mansion inside is beautiful and ornate, and easily the most gorgeous area in the game - and it all leads to what appears to be a proto-joy mutant marty, sort of looking like jabba the hutt. i dont doubt that this is intentional, given that jabba the hutt is associated with slave leia, and its not at all a far leap to call lisa martys slave. the golden statues of women, as well as many golden crosses, are everywhere in this area. its actually quite a large space with a lot of thought put into it, so im really upset that i cant figure out more of what it represents LMAO

the final area - lisa seems to go back to her actual house, but upon leaving her room and entering whether the living room would be, the whole area changes. she encounters herself in a blood red room, but when she talks to the other lisa, she turns into marty. i think this represents a clear question - who is lisa without him? IS she anyone? or is she just a vessel for him to do with what he pleases? she encounters a naked marty telling her to give up shortly after, and flees from him, but is followed by voices repeatedly telling her that she must accept her fate. i think this clearly show the mental state of lisas last days. she was tormented, eternally. she truly felt there was no escape from marty. even the background becomes nothing but martys face, over and over again, as the end screen flashes.

at the end text, she finds a video tape, and in the tape sees someone who is ostensibly her mother from behind. she apologizes for not being there for her, but when that figure turns out, its martys face that she sees. the sky turns into marty. the music becomes corrupted and overrun with pretty fucked up laughter. she tries to run, but marty is already everywhere. theres nowhere for her to run. and then the game is over.

note that the video tape comes AFTER the games end screen, which stops not long after the appearance of the naked marty. so i personally believe that the “game over” represents her deciding to take her own life, rather than just give up and accept her fate. by running from him into the blackness, she got away from marty the only way she could have. it is sad and horrible, but that is honestly the best ending that she could have gotten in this game.

the first is definitely not as good as the painful in terms of gameplay, that much i can agree on, but i really think people miss out on a lot by not playing it. i think its really crucial to see lisas life from her own perspective before you can see it from brads - after all, brad may have known more than anyone else about what was going on, but he did not experience it like lisa did. for brad, lisa is a symbol of his own regrets and failures, but lisa was a PERSON (well, in-universe anyway LMAO). she suffered on her own, with pretty much no one to help her, and then she suffered so much that she couldnt take another second of it.

#anya's anons #long post #lisa the first #ok NOW im gonna open my anons on my sideblog LMAO #i got wayyyy too into this #and i had to put it under the cut bc its really hard to not be graphic about the first given the subject matter #rape mention #abuse mention #lisa

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ducknotinarow · 3 years

Note

When Bailey had seen their face, he had wanted to get away, but they saw him before he got the chance. It took barely no time, until they were calling out his name, trying to get his attention. The one time he doesn’t want focus on him. It barely took anything, Bailey was barely provoked, but that rage he always harboured reached the surface. He only saw red, when he grabbed a plate and threw it at them. Only saw rage when he tackled them to the floor, screaming incoherently - outside of the phrase “YOU NEARLY KILLED ME!”

This rage was something that Bailey kept buried deep, but, two people were able to bring it to the surface with their mere existence alone. The rooster didn’t even know what was going on, until someone, maybe Richard he didn’t even know, was dragging him off of the person, kicking and screaming. He probably looked like a maniac.

Public freak out asides, Bailey was soon able to finally escape, like he wanted to. In the office, away from the World, he was pacing, tears filling his eyes as he realised what he just did. He doesn’t look up, but he’s sure Richard had followed him,

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I’m sorry...” He repeated, completely loosing it, “I swear I...I didn’t, I’m not like that I’m so sorry Richard...” He sobbed, inconsolable, “Just keep them away from me please, I’m sorry.”

[you knew this was coming, i wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise uwu]

It was just like any other day, Bailey perched over the counter top, being his usual self towards Richard. Richard turned away slightly chuckling under his breath.

It felt so sudden after that the sound of a plate breaking Richard turned only to see Bailey tackle someone to the ground. The other guests in the cafe' moving out the way fast they could to avoid getting caught up in the sudden attack. Richard was honestly shocked, to see Bailey of all people like that. Shaking his head regian his senses as he rushed over. Bailey was in a fit of rage screaming and shouting at the other persons.

Richard manged to take hold of Bailey and pull him off.

"Bailey whats gotten into you?" Was all he asked.

After thing had settled back down, Richard noticed Bailey sneak away from everything into his office. Checking that everything was fine out in the dinning area, all guest present gifted some free food and drink as an apopgly. Feeling anxious the whole time about it till Richard was able to get to his office himself.

Wasn't really all to sure what to expect when he opened up the door, a flood of apologies falling from Baileys beak soon as they saw Richard. He shut the door behind him and locked it. As he walked over to Bailey. Looking them over as they kept repeating thier sorrows about what happened. Richard gently placing his hands on thier shoulders.

"Hey, its okay I'm not upset with you. Just checking on you" Richard said, keeping his tone even he didnt want to upset the rooster anymore than he already was. "and don't worry i sent them away after we got everything settled."

Richard really didn't understand what had happened all he knew was what was said by the bystanders, the other person walked in and tried to speak to Bailey and Bailey was the one who threw the plate and soon attacked them. Richard just titling his head a bit honestly concerned about them, he never seen Bailey do anything close to that before. Maybe yell out when he didnt get his way sure but that. He slightly leaned down a bit to look at them.

"Look all i cate about is this. Are you okay? I can take you home you shouldn't drive like this if needed ill even stay with you." Richard wasn't really the type to go this outta of his way but this wasn't just anyone he was talking to to.

#aflockoffeathers #[mocha]#muse interactions #((poor Bailey #((also the rooster snapped!))#muse| richard evans alder

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anapythos · 5 years

Text

ive only worked in customer service for a year of my young hellish life so heres a list of general cryptic things i’ve encountered:

for some backstory; i work at a grocery store chain primarily located in northern cali. the first store i started at is unusually massive because it was renovated from a movie theaters in the 70s.

-both a manager and a cashier are required to stay an hour after closing to do general busywork before the night crew show up. i’ve seen things fly off shelves, i’ve heard people say my name, i’ve heard footsteps and seen shadows. i always did my floorwork with one headphone in because i felt like i was being watched, at all times.

-across the street is a very run down apartment complex, which happens to be the same apartment complex of Richard Chase, “The Vampire of Sacramento”, a famous northern California serial killer who beheaded, fucked, and ate people after he killed them. one of his victims was a woman named Evelyn Miroth, who, after killing her, raped her, ate her, and then also killed her neighbor, her six year old son Jason, and her infant baby, who he also beheaded.

-a kid died in our parking lot of a drug overdose. our resident senior cashier found him after the car had been in the same place for a couple days, and she went to go check it out. the cashier relayed the story back to me over lunch and told me for the rest of her life, she would never forget the smell.

-on valentines day i was working in the floral department and a man with his son came up to my station and asked if we had any single roses left for sale. i said that we didnt, as it was the end of the day and we were just winding down from all the craziness of the morning. he had a weird glint in his eye, and due to past experiences i’ve gotten pretty good at picking up vibes, so i tried to be as polite as possible. he thanked me and left, only to come back into the store about an hour later, without his son, wailing like i’ve never heard a man wail before. it was the loudest, most broken cry i’ve ever heard. he paced up and down the checkstands like an animal trapped, and the police had to be called because whenever someone got close to him he would get violent. i still to this day have no idea what it was about, but it took four police officers to wrestle him to the ground, and they pinned him to the floor in front of checkstand 5 while he writhed around trying to kick at anyone he could get at. when i came back from my lunch he was being whisked away on a gurney, the most distressed a man could be, and a woman was walking alongside him, crying out that it was going to be ok. i wonder all the time how he’s doing.

-i had a stalker. i got promoted from a bagger to a cashier about a month after my eighteenth birthday. on my first week i complimented this old man’s hat and from that point on he became absolutely obsessed with me. he would tell me that i was pretty enough to die for, he would come through my line multiple times a day just to talk to me, if any man stood next to me he would become enraged and throw down his money and storm away. i dyed my hair bright red, and then back to brown, and he told me that he liked how it made me look “softer, younger, more innocent to the world”.

-a man with caution tape tied around his forehead, and bright, blue and red marker streaks running down his face came in to tell my manager that the penny was useless and should be abolished, because what did Abraham Lincoln do anyway?

-a woman tried to bash another woman’s face into a shelf over some stolen money, and later that night i found the same woman spinning around our parking lot in a wheelchair, singing. i have no idea where she got the wheelchair from

-we had a regular who tried to buy 600 dollars worth of groceries with a fake credit card, and every time we have to pretend we don’t know what she’s doing. oh, did i mention she had a swastika tattoo, too?

-on fourth of july a man decided that instead of just walking out the door with his cart full of unpaid for items, that he would park it in the door frame, go outside, and from a distance, use a fishing rod to gradually reel the cart off the property. like anyone would not notice this. he didn’t get very far.

-i asked a man how he was doing, and he said a very long word i didn’t understand, and when he saw my lost look, he very condescendingly asked if i knew what that word meant. i told him in my best passive “fuck you” voice that no, i didn’t, and he told me it meant “an attraction to sharp knives/objects”. And then as he left he complimented my coworkers smooth, dark skin-tone. (his words)

-a man tried to use a fake hundred dollar bill, and when the ink started running in my hands, he told me that the reason was because he worked at an oil rink

-a woman told me that she didn’t trust no governments or no machines to count her money and made me watch her count her 200 dollar cashback that I had just counted out for her.

-a woman threw her debit card at me like a ninja star because she couldn’t figure out how to skip the menu for our membership program and i was saved from getting hit in the eye by the resident drug dealer cashier who happened to be standing next to me.

-a man came up to me and told me this milk carton he had been drinking from was expired and that i needed to do something about it. i asked if he wanted a refund, and he told me he hadn’t payed for it yet. i looked at the carton, and only about less than a quarter of the milk was left. i asked him that if it was expired, then why did he drink most of it. he told me to fuck off and then he left.

-our security guard smashed his finger on a cart and walked around with his hand submerged in a cup of water for an hour. someone tried to stuff a bunch of liquor bottles in his backpack and he chased them out the door while also nursing his finger in a mini cup.

-a woman cornered my coworker on a check stand she was cleaning and broke out her notepad and started scribbling things down. i was curious and went over to see what was happening, and she began to tell me that she had tried to make a deal with Big Pharma to make them millions of dollars, but now she was being followed and that I had to report them to the police because she was almost killed in our parking lot. she feverishly scribbled down a description of the car, talked about a lawyer who broke her heart and then followed her to Greenwich (?), the “Me Too” movement, while two inches from my coworkers face. eventually the woman left, and not 30 seconds later we peeked out the door to see where she went, and she was gone, like she had vanished into thin air.

-a man who called himself “two buck chuck” wears a bedazzled camo-colored hat, pays exclusively in two dollar bills, he told me i was pretty enough to be a stripper and gave me his business card. he came in every week or so.

just some things i thought of off the top of my head.

#customer service #retail #grocery store #horror stories #cashier problems #cashier stories #cashier hell #work #work stories

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gotatext · 5 years

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PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad.

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass.

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well.

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze). animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing

#wshedtask002

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paulineguillouzichnd1 · 5 years

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Clean White

Material: using effectively the material (lightmeter and lights) to set up your cleanwhite background effectively.

-> I started working and learning on Clean White Background by making sure I could use the material (lightmeter, studio lights, tripod, flashes...) effectively. I have always felt interested in working in a studio, however, I had little experience and I felt I really needed to step up my game if I wanted to 1. work independently by being able to set up the lights and the material effectively 2. produce good photos in a limited period of time (we only had the studios available for a short period of time so that each student could work on their project!)

-> With the permission of one of my lecturer, the help of one other student from my class who had a similar experience with Studios and who wanted to work and achieve similar results, I used a Studio on Wednesday 9th October, for 2 hours, with in mind 5 goals :

1. getting more familiar with the material

2.being able to reproduce what we’d been showed the week before on Friday afternoon to get a white background

3. work on using a reflector

4. eventually, working on shadows (how to control lights and shadows on my model’s face.

5. More than anything else, gain confidence and explore the possibilities of working in a studio, and develop my problem-solving skills.

We set up the studio the way we thought we did it when we were working on the ID project, with a white background. None of us were happy with the background because it looked grey and we had the model’s shadows in the background. We were also using a tripod, and had to figure out the basic set up (using a light meter, flashes, setting up the background). Fortunately, one of the lecturer was around and helped us with:

-> the model was too close from the background thus the shadows on the background. We had to take the light measures from the background, making sure that it was at least one stop brighter than where the model was posing. We also learnt to check that the background was white by using the histogram on our camera.

-> the third light (key light) wasn't on already, but at least we managed to get a background that was nearer to white.

First attempt at shooting a silhouette. We didn't use any boards to flag the model (I think by that time we were running out of time).

Although the background was not completely white, at least it looked a lot closer to our first attempt.

We eventually started using a key light in the background and managed to try different positions to see how the shadows would affect my face.

Video on Different types of lights (in French though)

Video on Using a lightmeter (in English)

Article on Three-Point Lighting Technique

INSPIRATION: a few photographers were mentioned during our brief on CleanWhite Background and I thought I’d start finding new photographers and insipiration with these names (also because they were seen as key photographers, and therefore, I might learnt a few things from them).

Richard Avedon:

I was extremely impressed with two things : the use of the frame (borders in black) which made the whole picture neater. I also thought that I liked the unusual way Avedon had framed most of his models (in French we call it Plan américain and they didnt feel static anymore, I know that this sort of framing was used in Westerns so that the viewer could have a look at the actor’s gun. It keeps the viewer on their toes: “What’s going to happen next?”

All models had an attitude, looking at the viewers in the eyes, very direct,almost intimidating. That’s a type of framing I want to reuse...

Annie Leibovitz:

David Bayley: His biography says he is a fashion and portrait photographer but he has also directed TV commercials, documentaries and he also paints and sculpts.

His photos show models who have a bit of an attitude (if I compare them to Avedon’s where they seem almost suspicious). Lots of movement (hair, eyes, body) but I wondered how he took his picture (froma higher angle than subject? Which lense). The models are almost confrontational with the viewer.

Other photographers...

Terry Richardson: American fashion and portrait photographer. He is very inspired by the punk rock scene and started his career by photographing young people partying and other nightlife. I think that in lots of his pictures are often provocative. His own personal work (Terryworld for instance) works a lot around sexuality and is extremely provocative.

Andrew Zuckerman:

Annie Liebovitz:

David Bayley:

I decided to then ask one of my classmates to model for me on the first Friday after the first attempt session. I found that setting the white background was more difficult. I was struggling with the lights, positioning them so that the light would be equal on the background (uniform). Mark helped me by adjusting the lights (they were too high and not oriented in the right direction, crossing and creating different measures with the lightmeter). I managed to get a better silhouette of Reka.

The rest of the photoshoot was better than my first attempt with Karen but I was missing a lot of things:

-a clear idea of what to do (poses, frame and inspiration)

I was struggling on these points because I actually did some research but I didn’t really feel convince with what I found. The photographs I found had their particular style but I felt a bit lost because I didn’t manage to stick to an inspiration and my first few attempts with the clean white background felt a bit like swimming without knowing where I was meant to go to.

I thought about doing a ¾ photography portrait but realised that I didn’t have enough space in the studio (nor thought about how to deal with space in studio), that I actually liked close portrait better.

I thought that I would change my model and used someone else. I think that I should have asked someone else as I knew this person and his history and wanted to use his scarf (from Kurdistan). I did have four examples of photos I wanted to try, from different angles.

Setting up the background was getting easier, and I had the whole studio for me so we used four panels instead of two.

Again, I think that I didn’t really know how to talk to my model and didn’t have a clear idea of what I wanted to do with him. Some of the pcitures are nice but I didn’t really use his scarf well: I should have been probably more direct in the way I was talking to him, and also checked my photos and taken my time to double-check the pictures (framing, pose). I found out that what actually matters more than thousands of pictures is working little by little and solving as many problems as you could from the beginning and come as prepared as possible.

I felt that some shots were nice and quite basic: I used two soft boxes on each side of my model’s face and it didn’t suit the model, or better didn’t really emphasise his personality and was pretty flat. The poses chosen were not adapted to the kind of pictures I was looking for and I felt more frustrated both by the lack of time but also because I couldn’t pintpoint exactly what wasn’t working.

I then went for another session with one of my classmates, better prepared because I thought more carefully about what he was to wear and how I wanted him to stand. We had the full studio for ourselves. Tutor advised us to use as much space as needed and he helped me to set the studio quite far from the background.

I think I wanted to get away from a more conventional and eye-level portrait, by trying the ‘contre-plongee’ (low-angle shot). I set the studio, using two soft-boxes on each side of my subject and having him alternatively standing or sitting. I realised that for some of my frames, the top of the background was in my shots. I then decided that I’d take the pictures from further away. It really got me thinking about how I was using my space, background. I felt that I needed space and would need to push the panels away. Space needed to be taken into consideration: how do I use, how much do I need it, how do I show tension in my shots, how do I guide the viewer’s eyes? How do I want them to feel?

I wasn’t happy either with those shots, not entirely: I felt that they looked ok but were not punchy enough.

I then went back to what works well for me, that is drawing: what do I see in my mind, how can I put it onto paper and then shoot it?

What works in the Frame, different faces, different clothes, different scarves, hands position, portrait/landscapes. Freda was helping me creating a real life ‘draft’ of what my final image would be. The lighting/model would be different but the idea was to see what was working or not.

I wanted this picture to be very geometrical, little/no make up and simple, not much to look at but my model’s face and her facial expression.

I based my project on different things I came across in my personal life, books I have read and that were inspiring me: I didn’t want anything particularly beautiful, but more something that would say ‘don’t touch’.

EVALUATION:

I think that the most powerful pictures were the one where she wasn’t actually shouting. I was told about the “waste of space” (bottom right) because there was nothing there. I cropped the final picture and tried to move the hand further down but it somehow blocked her eyes and didn’t look nice at all.

I started the photoshoot with the digital camera and continued with the digital camera. I felt that it helped me to understand what I was shooting.

When I tried to print the film version of my portrait, I found that borders were difficult to do, so I was really had to go back to fundamentals and start from the beginning. As I just started working with analogue cameras, I am still building my knowledge of how to manipulate the camera but also how to print.

I started the photoshoot with the digital camera and continued with the analogue camera.

I’d say that using an analogue camera is still new to me, but it really helped me with understanding exposure. I asked my classmates some feedback on the film version of my portrait and they said that the composition was good but the eyes were a bit out of focus / could have been sharper. Either because my focus when taking the picture wasn’t on the eyes or because when I printed it, the negative was a bit out of focus. There is also a tiny white spot on my picture that I’d need to colour in. It might be dust (although I used a ‘blower’) or a defect on the film (it kept on coming back on several films exactly at the same place).

Post-production wise (difital), I burnt the gloves, change the highlights and the skin tone (very yellow), I also cropped the picture.

#cleanwhite

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thepeasantdaughter · 5 years

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untitled

So i went home today to my hometown. Its been awhile. My dad picked me up around two with my mom. After a little talk while putting my luggage in the trunk my dad asked me if i know anything about Slamet. The name didn’t ring any bell until my mom said

“Slamet itu Richard itu loh...anaknya adiknya Bu Tun yang kerja di Singapura”.

Thats when it hit me. I vividly remember him. He was a sweet child, with chubby cheeks and bald head. He’s my neighbor’s son. His mom works overseas so his aunt took care of him. I looked at my mom and start to tell her jokes about him. How he always running by my house with his dirty white shirt, how his yellow pale skin always looks like it scorched by the sun and the humid air that lingers around my hometown. And my mom froze.

“He passed away today” says my dad.

I swear to god, my heart dropped to the bottom.

I sat down. Trying to grasp the air almost brutally. its not a panic attack. But i feel i have one at that moment.

On my way home, we sat in silence. My dad played Panbers on the stereo. His favorite indonesian band after Koes Plus. And my mom sat in awkwardness...i couldnt tell why.

I asked my mom what happened. My family is not really close to the neighbors because they are...i can say live a bit secluded from the rest of the neighborhood. But with a slight trembling voice my mom told me everything

Slamet (born as Richard) was only 16 years old. As i mentioned before, His mom works overseas and his dad is nowhere to be found. Yes, he’s a product of separation. His grandmother take him in. and goddamned raised him like an animal ( excuse my language) but this is something that i cant take lightly, over years, His grandmother beat him, and who knows what else he suffered. His grandmother finally passed away and this time, he was in a good care of his aunt. He lived in that house for long period of time until god knows what happened, he decided to move on his own at 16. Pemirsa, biar gue ulangi, at 16, he was moving out. Usia dimana gue aja belum bisa ngaduk es teh dengan benar.

The way my mom described the whole event was even more heartbreaking. Slamet apparently died over complication. But some of the neighbors that took him to the hospital reported he suffered from dengue fever to Leptospirosis. Maybe what made they think so is that the condition where he lives. His house is more like a hangout place, said one of the closest neighbor. His friends would come over, smoking, and just do whatever the fuck boys do until late at night. His house is a complete shipwrecked, they were littering the floor , there are spider’s webs, and i bet, i bet there’s rat nests too somewhere. He’s been sick for over a week, they took him to the small local hospital where they literally did nothing until his aunt brought him to the bigger hospital. But by the time they got there, it was too late.

I remember Slamet as a soccer boy who get yelled by his grandmother for coming home so late in the evening. Aku ingat dia selalu pakai setelan sekolah sore nya (sekolah ngaji atau sekolah arab kalo di tempatku) lewat depan rumahku and smile politely. I didnt remember why people start to call him Slamet, although his real name is Richard Dwi Cahyo. At first, i thought they call him Slamet just because it’d naturalize him as a javanese, to remind him he’s not living in Singapore anymore. Or the name Richard is too difficult to pronounced by the people. But i guess the people are so fond of the chubby kid to the point where they wanted him always to be safe. Slamet means Safe in javanese by the way. My God, he was such a sweet kid.

Im writing this on my dinner table while eating chicken nugget my mom brought me from the shitiest grocery store ever in my hometown. it tastes like shit. But as i munch on it, i think about Slamet. i think about how he survived day to day thinking what he’s going to eat for dinner, or for lunch, or for breakfast. While he cant cook, while all he wanted was someone to cook for him. Even if its just siting in the dinning room chewing on nasi Kucing dua rebu limaratusan. Or the night he spent with no food inside his tummy, while missing his mom. Always missing his mom.

And... being in my cozy house, listening to my dad’s dry jokes, or being on my mom’s family room couch, watching whatever soap opera she likes with her, i feel like i am the happiest, i am complete.

Then i dont know why it slapped me.

The fact that i only find gratitude out of something so bitter intrigues me. I should be grateful in sunshine and rain. In giggles or pain. I feel so shitty that i mostly forget to be grateful when happiness poured down on me

Well, Slamet, if you hear this, im sure you hear this from heaven, thankyou for slapping me in the face. And thankyou for being the chubby soccer boy in dirty white shirt who brought colors to my childhood. Rest in peace, Slamet.

Or Rest in peace, Richard (as you always wanted to be called with)

sorry for the grammatical error, y’all know i dont know shit about shit

love,

#latenightangsts

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fish-d · 6 years

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it’s time for jade’s lnd us tour opinions

just saw the new lnd at the boston opera house, saturday 2/10 2:00pm matinee, and it was. HOOO BOY IT WAS. SO MUCH. (in a good way i promise)

cast:

the phantom: bronson norris murphy christine: rachel anne moore madame giry: karen mason raoul: sean thompson gustave: jake heston miller meg giry: mary michael patterson fleck: yesy garcia squelch: richard koons gangle: stephen petrovich

ALRIGHT ok overall numerical rating, like, 8/10, which honestly isn't something i ever thought i'd say about LND, but i guess that goes to show You Can't Like Things Ironically. or at least i can’t we gonna do Onions chronologically, for simplicity's sake, but tl;dr: they changed a Lot of good shit but there are still A Couple Things id love to see addressed before alw stops pouring his pension into it (also for brevity's sake im gonna skip anything i dont have any Strong Opinions on, so if i didnt mention a jam its bc it was inoffensively good)

ACT ONE

'til i hear you sing - bronson is so good. he's a much hunchier/gremin-ier phantom than im used to with lnd (coming from the australian production and ben lewis's Big Man Scary Eyes erik) but he does it really well. he kind of swallows his words on low notes, but MMPH the belt at the end changed my damn life. 10/10

the coney island waltz - AHHH the fleck/gangle/squelch trio was EXCELLENT in this show - fleck was a little underehearsed, but as an u/s i Dont Mind and im impressed they did all the lifts so cleanly, seeing as she is a Lot bigger than katrina kemp. the aesthetic in this number is? SO much bigger and more striking live than it is on the dvd; everything is GORGEOUS and the stage was Very alive (altho its still a little slow when they're all coming out of the bigtop) 8/10

christine disembarks - i got a snap from @sapphic-corgi abt this during intermission that just read "meg is gay for christine" and tbh i feel it. this was definitely mary's emotional highpoint here noah fence

arrival of the trio - OK HERE WE GET SOME CHANGES I LIKE: they actually gave the disembarkers a proper ramp to come down, and as one of the new yorkers calls "look, it's christine daae!", she comes out of the ramp in the fog and strikes a really beautiful pose with a really beautiful smile - and she holds it until the flashes pop and her smile vanishes. its REALLY good and a striking example of her French Facade(tm) ala "masquerade". bless that change

what a dreadful town! - ok so big changes here i really jived with, particularly pertaining to raoul - they make him nicer with each iteration of lnd and every time its a good decision. london raoul genuinely seems on the edge of hitting someone the whole musical, but us tour raoul really IS trying, and i love it ! during his first back-and-forth with christine, they embrace each other, despite raoul's frustration, and as gustave plunks away on the piano he doesn't chastise him. instead, christine asks him what he's playing, and tells him its too late in the evening for it - but raoul seems proud of his kid, which is REAL nice. and then he goes and picks up the music box and remarks on its construction and sits down to play with gustave !!! he only leaves bc he gets the summons - so gustave still gets to mourn the lost time with his father, but you never get the feeling raoul is overmuch cruel. hes just. got Issues, Man (i will say, though, sean's performance seemed rather stilted in his dialogue? like he. doesn't know his lines? there were some PAUSES i was. suspicious of)

look with your heart - rachel anne moore has a phenomenal rapport with jake (which she attributes to having a daughter roughly the same age) and they both performed this excellently - jake flubbed a line and neither of them reacted to it at all, which i think is ESPECIALLY impressive for such a young performer. (HE'S TWELVE, Y'ALL, LORD)

beneath a moonless sky - ok this was the sexiest i have ever seen this performed - its SO passionate. rachel glides between "angry", "forlorn", "horny", and back to "angry" with INSURMOUNTABLE grace, holy FUCK, and bronson's phantom is so genuinely reticent and also Very Randy the whole time that i fuckin FELT IT, MAN. none of that mournful love dirge, here, they FUCKED and they want you to KNOW. i also appreciate the change from "i had to, both of us knew why" "we both knew why" - instead, christine responds "i don't know why". i feel like that's more poignant to the situation (bc really erik has No Good Goddamn Excuse)

once upon another time - @theatricalbride wept to this. i almost fuckin did. absolutely phenomenal

the beauty underneath - ok i bought these tickets because i heard the utica boot of this song (based on the hamburg production) and it fucking lived up to the expectation. oh my GOD. the lead-in w/ the phantom reprise was phenomenal; the movement between sets was so fluid; gangle, fleck, and squelch were there being Cool as Shit the whole time (and reacting to gustave's highnotes, which was baller. u rly get the sense they're close-ish with Mister Y and i love that). erik Touched gustave a lot in a way that felt really Genuinely Phantomy and was so jazzed to be with his kid? GOD

the phantom confronts christine - bronson ripped my idiot heart out and threw it down the orchestra pit. when he reached for christine, sobbing, i thought i was going to Die Right There in the Balcony Seats

ACT TWO

why does she love me? - ok the actual song was good but i have some Onions abt mary's performance afterwards :/ im VERY fond of sharon millerchip from the australian production; she plays meg with a really honest sort of vulnerability, and her own fear of her dedication to erik makes "sail across the sea / put us out of mind / close your eyes and dream / let yourself stay blind" hit much harder - because meg is doing what she does less out of jealousy or a desire for vengeance, but out of desperation because she *doesn't know what else to do*. mary plays it... much angrier than i think the role works well with. mary's meg is Pissed about the events of lnd and it makes her later suicide attempt feel forced - because this meg would feel more natural trying to murder christine or erik intentionally, rather than herself

devil take the hindmost - the only laugh of the show was for "[pops up from behind the bar] not afraid of me, you say? B)" and tbh it was well-deserved; the timing was Excellent. sean performed much more admirably in act two, particularly here, and i could like. smell the whisky on him; he was so fucking plastered. also when erik came at him he dragged a chair between the two of them, as if to hide from him, and im STILL laughing about it - esp bc erik tossed it across the fucking room, into another chair. 3-chair casualty for this number (and my e/r heart Really Appreciated how vicious they were ehe)

mother, did you watch? - similar onions to "why does she love me?": mary just seems MAD here, and i think it does a disservice to meg, as a character P:

before the performance - 1) erik does the "angel of music" enchanting reach thing to pull christine to the mirror and give her the necklace, and its a GOOD setup for the aria, and 2) honestly i know it was in the australian production but i just want to say the "twisted every way" reprise here destroyed me, mind & body. my god. (also erik and raoul are onstage in the rafters for this so thats neat)

love never dies - so i have No Idea if this happens in any other production, but for the US tour, as christine sings, she looks back and forth at erik and raoul, who are flanking the stage/implied to be in the wings - and as she looks a little too long at erik, raoul storms off, and it looks like christine forgets the words and begins to panic - until erik reaches out, as aforementioned, and enchants her to hit those fucking stellar keychange high notes that made my heart stop fucking beating, so that was a Good Detail

ah, christine! - raoul wasn't in the mirror for the "little lotte" reprise, but i imagine that's a visibility issue (bc u Cannot see that mirror from the balcony) - but ok. they keep fixing plot holes in this, but they still left in "i know where she's taking him" from erik - literally how. how does he know. what would have Really made it is would be see raoul go with them, and for him to know where gustave was being taken because he was suspicious of/empathetic towards meg after their conversation in the bar. like their Bit before "devil takes the hindmost" FEELS like a setup for this resolution and im beefed they didn't take the opportunity to use it.

streets of coney island - OOOOH THIS WAS SO GOOD the cacophonous "beauty underneath" reprise here was wonderful, and it gives a new appreciation to the coney island set, especially now that the musical has taken a Darker tone. the frantic chase here is EXCELLENT, and its busy enough that you never see christine, giry, or the phantom until they Want you to (big shoutout to bronson’s GUSTAAAAVE holler)

conclusion - im still bothered they don't Do anything with raoul, but besides that, this scene was. genuinely heartwrenching. erik's quiet plea for christine not to tell gustave of his real parentage was SO striking. IT WAS A GREAT CONCLUSION and the fade-out on gustave stroking erik's face was SO UPSETTING (altho jake "pushed" more than tapped him and i thought for a hot second they were gonna go full sweeney todd and gustave was gonna push him into the fucking ocean)

so uhhhhh i went to this intending for it to be simple and fun entertainment i could rib later and i wept real tears ! negativity is hard to maintain in the face of incredible work and craftsmanship from literally everyone involved. fantastic fucking job; im mad this tour is moving on and i wont get to hear rachel hit those fucking high notes again

(also: everyone was lovely at the stagedoor and as much as i complained about mary here, she complimented my hair and i love her very much)

#love never dies #lnd #lnd us tour #poto #phantom of the opera #personal bullshit #ok to reblog #txt #big s/o to theatricalbride for coming with me along w/ my buddies sunny and gabrielle #caiden just happened to fucking be there lmao

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fart-gate · 4 years

Text

SG1

Season 2 episode 15

"THE FIFTH RACE"

Notes by me

- mention of Ernest littlefield!

- "meaning of life stuff" thats the second time someone has made fun of Daniel for saying that

- daniel: *talks about symbols and language stuff*

Everyone else:

- they are in A Room

- "we cant just give up!"

"Why not? Lets go home"

- OH SHIT

- it literally enveloped his head

- they only seemed mildly concerned

- hes acting like hes possessed or something?

- "you just said theres nothing 'cruvis' with you"

"No I didnt"

"Yes you did"

"Didnt"

"Did"

"Didnt"

"DID"

- when he tries to teach tealc boxing and just gets knocked on his ass

- tealc has implied that he can dance. Are we talking Samba💃 or the waltz these are important questions

- maybe has like turning into an alien? I'm trying to figure it out

- oh of course Daniel immediately knows what hes saying NERD ALERT

- holy shit he can read the symbols Daniel was showing them!!

- ok if Jack is doing math then there is DEFINITELY something up

- we only use 10% of our brains? Thats alot of room for my two brain cells

- this time Jack is the one to say "I have no idea"😌

- "its either The Place Of Our Legacy or A Piece Of Our Leg" I vote the latter

- new gates means new worlds to explore!!!

- imagine having a whole ass data base in your head.

- "The Ancients" invented the gate system I'm guessing theyre like....really old

- love how they just watch Jack or talk to him to figure out what hes doing. As oppose to keeping him in a lab to study his brain or whatever

- "I cant leave him like this....and I wont"

- richards ACTING. 🔥🔥🔥

- is that that guy that liked Sam that one time

- i kept saying they should have a portable DHD in case this happened and they didnt listen to me so. thats on them

- what did he take from tealcs staff? It looks like a power core.

- when Daniel and fraiser are talking too much for Jack to concentrate so he writes Shut Up And Go Away

- tealc only cared that they didnt find anything to help jack😭

- he made a ......electricity booster

- the seventh symbol isnt the origin? I'm trying to keep up here everythings happening so fast

- CHEVRON 8?!?!?!?!?!

- it went OUT OF THE GALAXY OH MY GOD. ARE WE GONNA EXPLORE OTHER GALAXIES NOW

- I hope theres something that can help him wherever the gate is open to

- tealc wanted to go with him 😫

- its the asgard👽 with their weird frog feet!

- the asgard that has that crystal(?) In his hand is very similar to the goaulds Ribbon Device

- he subconciously saved himself this is it ppl this is when I die from character development

- the four races! The Asgard,The Knox,The Furlings(?),and The Ancients

- what the heck is a furling

- jack: "you seem like wonderful........"

The asgard: 👽

Jack: "........people"

- "we are a very curious race" I'm glad Jack is the one to speak for all of humanity. He actually has a way with words

- this music 🔥🔥🔥

- here shake my tiny grey hand

- THE FIFTH RACE HELL YEAH BITCHES

- DO NOT CLOSE THAT IRIS SAMANTHA CARTER I WILL GROUND YOU IF YOU KILL JACK

- oh good

- "you know that meaning of life stuff? I think we're gonna be alright"

Whump under the cut

Jack Oniell whump: head grabbed by head snatcher(?), noises! , catatonic , manhandled by tealc, his own brain doing things with out his command, mute, stressed, falls out of gate, passed out

#stargate season 2 #this ep was SO GOOD #edit from 2021: I JUST REALISED THE POWER BOOST HE MAKES IS BASICALLY A ZPM ajdnejsndns #jack whump season 2

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hornsbeforehalos · 7 years

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Anytime, Sweetheart: Part 7

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF)

Features: Ackles & Padalecki Families, R2, Misha Collins & Vicky Vantoch, Norman Reedus, Andrew Lincoln, Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster, Ruth Connell, Corey Taylor and other cast members & OFCs* *THIS IS AN RPF FIC**

Series Masterlist Summary: (I’m horrible at summaries, but let me try): Kylin Ackles runs to her brother’s house after leaving her abusive boyfriend of 3 years, where she meets Jeffrey. Events unfold that bring them together, as well as push them apart. Warnings: Emotional abuse, Physical Violence, mentions of rape, cursing, drinking, recreational drug use (weed), Strip Club, RPF, NSFW**, GIFs, implied smut, Age Difference, Slow burn, Emotional rollercoaster, poorly written smutt, etc… 18+ please

(A/N: This is strictly a work of fiction that I came up with off the top of my head. For fictional purposes his S/O & Son are not mentioned. I love him and his little family, though, so no hate intended. This is the first time posting anything on Tumblr, but I couldn’t get it out of my head since my ao3 fic is currently on hiatus because writers block. Feedback is appreciated. unbetaed, all mistakes are mine.)

TAGS: @jml509 @jesbakescookies @daddy-kink-confirmed @wayward-mirage @aquivercactus

Fuck Anthony. Fuck Jeffrey. Fuck every man who ever made me feel unwanted or unattractive. On that stage, I was queen. I had danced for 4 years at another club before I met Anthony, but of course once we got serious he was quick to make me quit. I had danced for a night when I first started working when I came back to Dallas, but only because there was 3 girls and it had gotten surprisingly busy. I missed it. I loved it, and I was damned good at it.

Before you judge me, let me explain something: strippers are not all sloppy nasty drunk whores who fuck for money. About 99% all have husbands and kids and normal lives, they just so happen to take their clothes off for money. I was one of those people. Anyway, back to our story, Somehow, some way, the club kept the media out and no one outside had found out that i didnt want to know. Hell, the only people I told were Gen, Dani, and Vicki. I swore them to secrecy and told them to make sure no one found out, especially my brother. Jensen and I hadn't really talked after the evening that I kicked Jeffrey out. He'd send me a text asking if I was okay, and I'd reply back with a 'yes.' He knew how I got sometimes when I needed space, and left me alone for a while. I was just waking up with a particularly bad hangover one morning when I saw that his face popped up on the screen of my phone that was vibrating its way across my nightstand. I answered with a muffled, "What?" "What? Bitch! Do you know what to day is?" he beamed with a loud laugh.

"Some douchebags birthday I guess, probably, I don't know." I mumbled, still half asleep. "It's your favorite fucking douchebag's birthday, whore. Now, get up, I need birthday favor from you." "Whaaaaat?" I groaned, rolling over onto my back and clutching my head. "I need you to pick up the guys from the airport for me. None of us have time over here." he responded as I heard a loud crash come from somewhere behind him, followed by, "God damnit, Jay, Sit the hell down! - Dude, remind me to never have any more fucking kids." "What time?" I huffed before downing the painkillers that I was grateful drunk-me had left on the nightstand with a bottle of water. "Uh, can you get to DFW in like.....30 minutes?" referring to the airport down the street from my house. "I hate you."

"Love you too, sis, bye!" click. With another groan, I crawled out of bed and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a slouchy sweatshirt, pulling my hair into a thoroughly messy bun while slipping on my slippers. I grabbed my keys and purse before heading out the door. I pulled up to the pick up area where Jensen had said the boys would be waiting for me. I was waiting for about ten minutes before I saw Misha push past the door, followed by Rob, Rich, and lastly, trailing behind in all his leather-clad manliness, was the last person I wanted, or expected to see. Jeffrey.

"Fuck my life." I mumbled to myself as they approached the car. I popped the trunk so they could put their luggage in the back before they began to crawl in. Misha hopped into the passenger seat as everyone else maneuvered their way into the tiny back seat, Rob sitting behind me, Rich in the middle, and Jeff behind Misha. Misha immediately leaned over the console and pulled me into his arms for a hug and a kiss on the forehead while Richard told me how much he missed me. Rob enthusiastically grabbed my shoulders from around my seat as he craned his head around and planted a wet, sloppy kiss to the side of my face. "Boys" I said in greeting, eyeing Jeffrey in the back through the rear-view mirror. He was of course staring back silently. I quickly adverted my eyes to Misha beside me. "How's it going, girl. Haven't seen you in almost a year!" Mish beamed, his arm crossing over the console again to give my thigh a squeeze. I looked at him through the corner of my eye as he left his hand there, and he gave me a look back as if saying "I know this sucks, and I'm sorry." I squinted my eyes at him, but he already knew I was irritated without our silent conversation. "Are you excited about the party tonight, little lady? You know, I hear your favorite band is playing!" Rob said excitedly, leaning forward again in his seat with his hands on the side of my headrest. "Bob-o, you know Jensen wouldn't get H.I.M here for his birthday!" Richard teased, smacking Rob in the chest jokingly. "Fuck you, Rich. Fuck you" Rob chuckled back to him. "I absolutely love your hair by the way, Ky, brings out your pretty green eyes." Rob continued gleefully, playing with a strand that had fallen out of my bun. "Thanks babe, It's hard as fuck to keep up with." I leaned my head back a little as Rob pulled my hair out of the elastic, fingering it as it fell down. I looked back into the rear view mirror, and to my delight, Jeffrey was staring at me with an obviously irritated look on his face. I smirked back at him before returning my eyes to the road. Jeffrey stayed completely stoic the entire ride to my parents' as I laughed and flirted with the boys. It was always like that with them; Misha had a thing about touching me, and Rob and Rich, well, they had a thing about just being around me, especially since it was the first time they'd seen me since the accident at Jensen's. I could feel Jeff's eyes bore into the back of my head as I received the attention that I had been craving from the other men. Rob had let me know that him and Mollie had decided to separate until his schedule died down again, seeing as she was busy with the lawfirm and didn't have a lot of free time anyway. Rich and Jaci were doing well, and Misha and Vicky were trying for baby number 3 while preparing for GISH. I didn't ask how Jeff had been. "So, Ky, how's the skrrrrrrippin' going?" Misha giggled, leaning towards me in his seat. I shot him a side ways glare again. Vicky of course squealed. They told each other everything. Rob gasped, Richard almost choked, and I could swear i heard a chuckle from Jeff. I narrowed my eyes and glared at the road, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. Thank God Jensen wasn’t here. "Fine, Dmitri. Fuck you." "You know, I seen Kylin's tits one time, they're pretty fucking awesome." Rich chimed in from the backseat. Jeffrey's eyebrows almost hit his hairline. "I've seen 'em before too. Definitely pay-per-view worthy." Rob bobbed his head up and down in agreement. "She's fucked my wife before while I watch-" "Okayyyy so, everyone in the car has seen my tits can we-" I tried to say before I was cut off. "I've never seen them," Jeffrey drawled in protested with a smirk. Everyone got silent as I glared at him through the mirror once more, before declaring, "And you never will." I pulled up to my parents’ drive way without getting out, still needing to go back to my place to shower and change and get ready for the festivities that would be happening all day long and into the night. Jensen and Josh both walked up to the car to greet me as I popped the trunk again as the men crawled out. Jensen tucked his head in through the driver's side window at the same time Josh did the same to the passenger side. "Brothers" I said menacingly, glaring a head at the garage door. "Sister" they both replied in unison. "What is he doing here, and why did you make me have to pick him up from the airport?" My question was obviously aimed at the birthday boy. "Because you were closer and his plane just so happen to land at the same time as the others'." he smirked, skipping over the first half of my inquiry. "Josh is right here." I whipped my head around to glare at my eldest brother. "I was helping Jason set up the stage." He lifted his hands up defensively with a giggle. "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you." I narrowed my eyes at him before turning back to Jensen. "He was helping set up the stage." Jensen repeated with his own laugh. "First question then?" I cocked my head to the side. "Because he was my friend before he was your fuck buddy." Jensen's face went still. "Jensen," Josh said with a warning. He knew I was pissed already, 'why add fuel to the fire?' "We never fucked." I growled through gritted teeth. "Whatever." Jensen rolled his eyes. "Do you even want me to come tonight?" "Yes." "Then shut the fuck up before I knock those perfect teeth down your throat." I threw my car in reverse as the boys stepped away just in time not to get their feet ran over.

When I got home I immediately called Vicki. "He said something, didn't he?" She immediately said as a greeting. "Yuuup," I replied, popping my lips, "Right in front of Jeffrey, too." "Shit. He's there? Fuck." I could hear the cringe in her voice. "Yeah, dude, ugh." I raised my palm to my for head as I walked to the bathroom. "Well, what are you going to do?" She asked as I started pulling my clothes off. "I don't know, man. I didn't think I'd have to see him again. Jensen's doing this on purpose." I put the phone on speaker as I finished undressing and started the shower. She sighed before replying, "Probably. I think you should talk to him. You were drunk the last time you saw him and was in a really bad place." I sighed back before stepping in the shower and calling out to her, "I'm still in a bad place, Vicks." "I know that, hun, but not as bad as you were 3 weeks ago. I'm sure he understands." She said as I lathered my shampoo into my hair "Pffft. I was a total cunt to him when I picked them up. He didn't seem too thrilled to see me, either" spoke through the water as I rinsed my hair. "Well I don't know what to tell you. Wash your ass and don't abuse my husband too much" she laughed before disconnecting the call. With a roll of my eyes I finished my shower before stepping out to blow dry my hair and do my makeup. once finished I stepped back into my bedroom to get some clothes on, choosing a simple floral romper that had a halter neck and was short enough to show my thigh tattoos. I threw on my black high wedge sandals before grabbing my purse and keys and heading back to Richardson.

"Kylin's here! It's shot time!" I heard Richard call the second I walked into the house. "Jesus Christ" I mumbled under my breath as I felt everyone shift their eyes to where I stood by the front door. Misha immediately broke out into a sprint towards me, pushing past the small group of people in the dining room. Once he reached me, he scooped me up into his arms and spun me around before setting me down and throwing arm around my waist, ushering me into the kitchen where my parents were sitting at the kitchen table with Jensen, Jared, and Josh, ready with loaded shot glasses. "What the fuck are you doing, Mom?" I urged, surprised at the sight of my mother with a large margarita glass in front of her beside a shot glass of Tequila. "Ky, It's not" -hiccup- "Everyday" -hiccup- "That your son turns" -hiccup- "Forty" My dad giggled, sneaking his face over to where my mom's margarita straw was. "Alan Ackles, get your own!" My mother scolded, smile on her lips while she smacked my father in the face gently with the back of her knuckle.

“I’m thirty-nine, dad, Lord.” Jensen grumbled as he raised his glass. I took my place at the table as the room seemed to fill in, Richard bring me a shot shortly before making me scoot over to squeeze into my seat with me. "Here's to the shittiest brother on the planet." I raised my glass sarcastically as everyone laughed, a particular chuckle coming from behind me standing out a little more than the others. I rolled my eyes as I tipped my head back. "Jesus, I'm too old for this." My mother's sour face puckered and Jensen barked out a laugh, throwing his head back into Dani behind him. "I don't think I've ever seen your parents drunk," She giggled, placing her hands on Jensen's shoulders. "I have, he tried to steal my wife from me!" Jared boomed, hugging Gen’s big belly protectively while shooting fake daggers at my dad, who was wagging his finger drunkenly at Jared. "Guys, it's barely 5, go take a nap" Makenzie sighed, always the responsible one, with a hand on both of our parents' shoulders. "Come on, Kenz, live a little!" I boomed, lifting my glass in Rob's direction, who was holding the bottle of Crown. "You live enough for the both of us, Sis," She said sarcastically, narrowing her eyes at me. Rob reached my side, attempting to shield me from the obvious feeling that was Jeffrey's stare to the back of my head and began pouring me another shot. He looked down at me through the corner of his eye with a wink and a smirk. I smirked back while lifting my hand from my lap to loop my finger into his back belt loop. He wiggled his ass against my hand and arm, making me giggle. "You good?" He squinted as he filled his glass as well.

I peered around him and caught Jeffrey’s eye for a split second before looking back up to him with a smirk, “I will be.”

I spent most of the evening outside by the pool with Misha and Rob, one of them near me at all times, and constantly flirting. I was sprawled across one of the outside benches with my feet in Misha's lap and my head in Rob's, who was playing with my hair while I scratched at that fucking grey patch in his beard, when Jeffrey finally had enough liquid courage to try to talk to me. Rob's fingers stilled in my tresses and Misha smacked my feet off of him, prompting me to sit up correctly.

"What do you want?" I sighed. Rob and Mish both rolled their eyes. "Come on, Rob, let's go spank the birthday boy" Misha laughed. Both men stood simultaneously. I glared at their backs as Jeffrey moved to sit beside me. "This okay?" He asked, only slightly sarcastic. "How have you been, Jeffrey?" I sighed again, ignoring his question while reaching for my beer. "Good, yourself? You look....better." I took a sip while nodding my head. "Look, Ky-" he tried, but I cut him off. "I get it, dude. Its cool. I was drunk, I should have known better. My fault." "You know that it wasn't because I didn't want you, right?" He whispered, looking around to make sure no one was listening. "You don't have to lie to me, Mr. J, I get it." He groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands, "I'm not fucking lying, Kylin. God dammit. What did you want, me to treat you like some whore?" he furrowed his bows and gestured his hands in the question. I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "at least then I'd gotten what I wanted."

With a shake of my head I stood up and headed inside to find my things. The 3 sentence conversation had me wanting to get the hell oout of there. I told everyone I wasn't feeling well, told Jensen and the boys bye and left, but drove to the club instead of home.

"Ky, someone bought you off." John said once entered the dressing room, sweat dripping down his forehead per usual. I had just finished getting (un)dressed and was putting on my 9 inch heels. "The fuck? I just got here?" I questioned, furrowing my brows in confusion, "I'm not allowed to say who. Its supposed to be a surprise." He giggled. I looked at him with a shocked look on my face "Don't be stupid, Kylin" he shifted his glance, understanding my expression. "Fine, whatever" I huffed before hauling myself up and stalking to the V.I.P section. John eventually caught up to my long legs and escorted me into the champagne room, which was empty save a bottle of crown and a stack of money on the table. "Must be in the restroom" John noted as I flopped onto the couch, leaning over to pick up the large group of bills. "Hmmm" I replied, sifting through the hundreds. There had to at least be three grand here. I confirmed the amount correctly as John nodded to me before leaving. Shortly after, the curtain moved again, revealing who had paid for me to be off the floor for the night. Of course, it was Jeffrey. "Nope, not doing this." I instantly threw the pile of money back on the table and hoisted myself back to my feet. Jeff blocked the exit. "I just paid for a taxi to drive me almost 2 hours away, girl." He narrowed his eyes and clasped his hands together in front of him. "What are you doing, Jeffrey?" I glared, trying to move around him. "Well I figure if this is the only way to talk to you..." He trailed off with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms as he moved around me to sit on the couch. "Wanna drink?" He asked nonchalantly, lifting the bottle from the ice bucket and cracking it open. "Whatever, Jeffrey. You're lucky I need my rent." I huffed as I stomped back over to the couch and threw myself down like a child. "That's right, baby girl, Daddy will take care of you tonight." He drawled, voice rough like gravel suddenly as he handed me the glass of whiskey. I narrowed my eyes at him again as he let out another deep chuckle. "What? You wanna act like a whore, I'll treat you like one." He growled, taking a sip of his own drink as he let his free hand danced across the space between us on the couch to my thigh. I huffed out a laugh as I spread my legs over his lap before taking another hearty swig of liquor, "So, you do think I'm a whore, huh?" I said, seductive tone to my voice. Jeffrey choked on another laugh while shaking his head at me, "What ever will get you to talk to me, sweet heart," He ran his fingertips across my shin bones, enticing goosebumps to come to the surface of my flesh. I finished off the remaining liquid in the tumbler before removing my legs from his lap and re-positioning to straddle him. His eyebrows shifted upward, surprised by my actions as he leaned us forwards for us to place our glasses on the table. He leaned back and moved his hands to my hips.

"So, what would you like to talk about, Mr. Morgan?" I said seductively, beginning to grind down on his lap in pace with the r&b song playing over the speakers. His eyes had sank to where our bodies met, and he tilted his hips into mine with a low growl. He ran his hand up the my ribs and onto my back, his wide palm almost covering my shoulder blades as his fingers found a place in my hair. "What could ever make you think I don't want you?" He rasped, eyes as deep as coal in the dim light as I continued to shift my hips into his. I stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say. "I needed you, and you wouldn't have me," finally came out of my mouth, as cold as I intended it to. With a growl of frustration Jeffrey shifted us, laying me down onto the cushion of the couch on my back as he positioned himself between my thighs much like on New Years. "I'd have you right now if I could, doll."

My breath had hitched in my throat as I stared into his pupils, riddled with lust. Heat pooled between us as bent his head forward to kiss at my sternum, followed by him dragging his thick beard upward to my chest. He brought his hands from my sides to my breasts, pushing them together to bury his face in between them with a rock of his hips against mine. My hands went into his hair, gently tugging at the sensations that he was bringing about within me. Without warning he flipped us back to our original position and tugged at the string that was holding my bikini top in place. "Let me so those tits that everyone's seen but me," He growled, eyes focused on my heaving chest as he pulled the material from my skin. His black irises twinkled with a hunger as he bit his bottom lip before returning his gaze to my face. "Ohhh, God damn, woman." He grunted before rutting his face against me again, tongue and teeth ravishing. "Jeff," I involuntarily moaned, tilting my head back at the feeling of his hands and lips against my flesh. "Mmmmm," He rasped into my ear, lifting his hips in time with mine, "I missed the way you sound. So pefect." I tightened my grip in his hair as I dug down more, reveling in the friction felt by my thin t-back being ground up against his rough denim jeans. He splayed his hands across my back, pulling me down into the sensation as his nails lightly left crescent marks where he held onto me. He lifted his head to look into my eyes, irises darting around my face momentarily before he grabbed me by the back of the head and forcefully pushed his lips against mine with a guttural groan from his chest. Instantly, every doubt that I had had or anger or any other emotion, for that matter, went right out of the fucking window. I whimpered against his mouth as I parted my lips and pushed my tongue against his, desperate to be closer. He pulled me away by my hair long enough to stare into my eyes for a second, as if in question, before colliding himself with me again. Our motions became harsher against each other, and his hands were everywhere. I could feel the strain in his jeans push harder and harder against the flimsy fabric between my legs as I rotated my hips in tiny circles against him, pulling moans from me and grunts from him. His lips moved down to my neck where he bit the sensitive flesh, leaving light red marks in his wake. His hands traveled from my back to my ass, his fingertips running over the strings at my hips, tugging at them teasingly. The pressure in my belly pushing me further and further into oblivion with every buck and grind. "You gonna come for me, baby?" He whispered as he dipped his hand between our bodies to feel the wetness soaking my panties. All I could reply back with was another tongue-heavy kiss and a whimper as my body exploded and a cry left my lungs. White spots clouded behind my eyelids as he wrapped his long arms around my back, holding me close to him as he pushed me further into his lap before grunting himself, fingers flexing in their place on my shoulders. "Only woman alive that can resort me back to a fuckin' teenager, you know that?" He whispered in my ear before looking at me in the face again. Both of us had a slight sheen of sweat coating our skin, our breaths still ragged and shaky. I slunk off his lap to the side of him and turned with my feet still on his thighs to make us drinks. "You get what you came here for, Mr. Morgan?" I snickered as I handed him his glass of whiskey. "Seems like we both did, Ms. Ackles" he chuckled back with a smile, hand wrapping around one of my ankles.

part eight: https://hornsbeforehalos.tumblr.com/post/164096328644/anytime-sweetheart-part-8

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