#did i tear up while playing A6

[wakandama2]

Imma make this post about this once (1) and if any of yall radfem, ugly ass terf, whyte, daughters of the Confederate ass bitches come at me with disrespect in ya tone. Imma send you to Block and Delete.

I delete the post about the Knoxville situation.

I still fully stand by my statement that white women from past, present and the future. Know how to weaponize their tears and manipulate authority groups (aka cops, government, social services, schoolboards) to harm, threaten and kill both Black and other groups of color. We have centuries of evidence of it. A quick past example Emmett Till a present example that whyte bitch in NY who was recorded faked cry and getting chased and stating a Black bird watcher was harming her when he just asked her to leash her mutt from a distance away from her.

Now, yes I will admit due to alot of the detail getting covered up and facts manipulated to both make a post AND in the situation itself. I made a mistake in that post about the White Knockville mom who called the cops on a Black boy.

The detail got covered up that said moms daughter was being abused by the boy and had been hiding it from her mom. When the boy pulled the girls hair out and gave her bruises the mom found out.

The mom called the boy's parents first and when they didnt answer she called the cops. I agree, that's justified of her (would I have straight up went to his parents physically before the cops, yes)

WHAT AIN'T JUSTIFIED OF HER NOR THE COPS WAS

1. The mom saying he "wasnt armed" but the cops saying they acted on a report that he was

2. Her then informing the boy she called the cops on him and that they were going to arrest him AT SCHOOL

3. The cops lying about that resource officer that was shot, lying about who shoot him. Saying the boy did it when investigation revealed he was not and that it was friendly fire from police that wounded his leg.

4. The prosecutors denying release of the police body cam footage so we know the truth of the situation that lead to this boy getting killed in a bathroom

5. Even if the cops saw a gun on the boy (which they refuse to realise the footage of to confirm) We have about many examples of police arresting white gunmen alive and with respect.

6. The TBI changing the story of this situation 2 times

7. This white mom patrolling around the media "calling for justice" for this boy while the family and affiliated of the family is never consulted or interviewed or asked about the plan of justice for this boy. As you can see in all the articles I was able to find The white mom who called the cops is the only perspective of this story.

There are many levels of diffrent systematic problem at play in this situation and folks before me with this post twisting details gave me a common picture of the weaponization of cops done by white women in particular to kill Black boys and men and I comment on that becaue I have personally seen it and lived it.

This is a full circle of tragedy. That boy ans the girl should not have been physically fighting one another, the school should have done their promised part of keeping this couple separated, the mom should not have hinted about a gun, the police definitely 100% should not have overwhelmed this boy then shoot him to death then lie and covered it up and hide the truth of the body cam footage from the family and public of the situation.

Below are all the sources I could find but like I said they are biased because only the white mom of the situation is the role perspective.

[oikawasass]

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⠀ ﹌﹌﹌﹌

⠀ 𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝟐𝐊 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

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⠀ ➶ ☁︎ ︎︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ➴

- ̗̀➛ INFORMATION :

◌ a list of various prompts, divided into each genre will be provided below. these are the various prompts you will have to choose from when requesting !

◌ when leaving your request, please leave the gender of the reader, and the name of the character you wish to have your request written for. if a gender is not provided, it we be written with the default of a female reader.

⠀ ↳ also, when leaving your request, please include the letter in which the genre is listed under, and the number of the prompt.

⠀ ↳ for example, your request should look / include something like this : bakugou, C 12, fem reader.

◌ the general rules of my writing will still apply. please follow the rules and guidlines of my account.

◌ this will be a week long event. sunday, june 14th - sunday, june 21st. though i may extend it near the end.

◌ this will be for both boku no hero academia and haikyuu. the characters i do and don’t write for still apply. see my masterlists and rules for the characters (links in bio.)

◌ the character and reader positions are interchangable. just include it in your request if you’d like them switched.

◌ you are allowed to leave a maximum of three requests.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

now, with all that out of the way, onto the prompts !

⠀ ﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

⠀ ➶ ☁︎ ︎︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ➴

- ̗̀➛ FLUFF PROMPTS :

f1 : (char) letting (name) warm their cold hands under their shirt.

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f2 : (character) coming home from a cuddly date with (name) and realizing that their shirt smells like (name). (character) pulls their shirt up to their face to smell it before it fades away.

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f3 : (name) has a bunch of online friends and (char) is jealous.

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f4 : (char) and (name) spending the night on the perfect hill for stargazing.

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f5 : (char) and (name) in the morning after a one night stand.

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f6 : Them playing with chalk like they’re kids again.

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f7 : (char) is alone in the rain because they forgot to bring an umbrella, (name) offers to share theirs.

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f8 : (char): I’m never letting you go.

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f9 : (char) goes over to (name)'s home after staying up all night. Even though they do their best to stay awake, they end up falling asleep while cuddling (name). (char) is quite embarrassed (and half-asleep) when they wake up, but (name) doesn't mind.

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f10 : (char) and (name) pressing their faces together sleepily, not even kissing, just resting their foreheads together, noses brushing, breathing each other in.

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f11 : (char) used to have a friend who died/moved and (name) moves into their house. Because (char) used to be over a lot, they visit the house out of habit and (name) invites them over for some tea.

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f12 : (name) falling asleep in (char)'s lap. (char) holds (name) close and doesn't move from their spot for hours.

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f13 : (name) using (char)'s lap as a pillow.

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f14 : (name) and (char) meeting on a train when (char) falls asleep on (name)'s shoulder.

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f15 : (name) and (char) are in an established long distance relationship, (name) surprises (char) by showing up right before midnight on New Year's Eve.

⠀ ➶ ☁︎ ︎︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ➴

- ̗̀➛ COMEDIC PROMPTS :

c1 : Sleeping in the same bed with (name) is proving to be extremely annoying to (char) because at 2am they’ll be trying to sleep and (name) will randomly start singing this is halloween from the god damn nightmare before Christmas like it isn’t the middle of fucking august.

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c2 : (name) says they’ll teach (char) to dance but when (char) shows up to the agreed upon spot, they’re thrown for a loop due to the presence of pole dancing poles.

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c3 : (char)'s mom gives (char) and (name) very cheesy, matching shirts/sweaters/scarfs. (name) does their very best to pretend that they love it.

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c4 : (char) comes home to find (name) sleeping on top of the covers... completely naked.

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c5 : (char) and (name) at a theme park or carnival, and walking towards one of the many games to win a large stuffed animal. (char) is sure that they can win the game, but after many attempts (and a lot of cash down the drain) (char) gives up. (name), however, tries and succeeds on their first go.

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c6 : (name) tossing snowballs at (char)'s window, not knowing the window is open and has no screen.

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c7 : (name) and (char) getting sick at the same time.

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c8 : (char) and (name) reading mean tweets/comments about themselves and laughing it off.

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c9 : (name): what is the one thing I told you not to do

(char): burn the house down

(name): and what did you do

(char): made you dinner

(name):

(char):

(name)

(char): and burnt the house down

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c10 : (char) gets the hiccups, causing (name) to laugh every time they try to talk until (name) gets the hiccups too.

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c11 : (name) gets addicted to painting nails and forces (char) to let their nails get painted on.

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c12 : (char) finding a prompt generator and putting up their name together with (name)'s name and reacting to the prompts they get.

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c13 : (char) and (name) are doing the deed. Unfortunately, they left the window open and a bee has flown into the room.

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c14 : (char) making a video 'proving' that (name) is the Illuminati, complete with The X-Files theme.

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c15 : (name): I love you

(char): *shoving laundry basket into (name)'s hands* stop saying I love you to get out of chores

⠀ ➶ ☁︎ ︎︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ ➴

- ̗̀➛ ANGST PROMPTS :

a1 : (name): You know, there was a time that I would have died for you.

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a2 : (char): I love you.

(name): Pathetic.

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a3 : (char): I’ve got you now.

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a4 : (char) forgetting everything but (name) after an accident... but not remembering they broke up some time ago.

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a5 : (char): I don’t want to be alone right now.

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a6 : (char): I know that I hurt you. I know that nothing I can say will change the past. But…I’m hoping that you’ll forgive me in the end. I’m hoping that I can make this right.

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a7 : (name) having to help (char) undress after an injury.

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a8 : (name) and (char) were separated for several years for reasons they couldn't help. They finally find each other and have a heartfelt reunion.

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a9 : (name) kissing away (char)'s tears.

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a10 : (name) and (char) as a pair of villains.

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a11 : (name) holding (char)'s hands when they are shaking.

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a12 : (name) holding a sobbing (char). (char) cries themselves to sleep with their face buried into (name).

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a13 : (name) having to help (char) undress after an injury.

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a14 : (name) has died recently and (char) had hallucinations of them in denial.

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a15 : reader has gone missing and char finds one of their belongings and loses it.

◌ i look forward to seeing your requests !

#bnha #boku no hero academia #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #haikyuu fic #discover prompts

[finishing-touch]

Never-Ending Survey || Aladar Claymore

             Tagged By : @yascaret | @lavender-hemlock | @afreesworn | @ember-arrow       Tagging : @wood-warder | @mischiefandmystics | @tales-of-wanderer-sal | @holyja                  @ahlis-xiv | @impure-ivory​ | @cfs-melkire​ | @ashtrythe​ | @kcnon​ | @bad-moen-rising                                         ( RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs! )

FULL NAME : Aladar Claymore NICKNAME : Boor AGE : 29 BIRTHDAY : 9th Sun of the Third Astral Sun   ETHNIC GROUP : Hyur NATIONALITY : Ala Mhigan LANGUAGE/S : Common SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Aromantic. RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Single HOME TOWN / AREA : Coldhearth, Gyr Abania CURRENT HOME : An oft ignored, downtrodden repository nestled inconspicuously between the slums and the alleyway canals running beneath Ala Mhigo     PROFESSION : Smuggler, Sordid Sellsword

HAIR : A thicket of wavy, cobalt hair that falls to the nape and obscures the ears EYES : Solid emerald FACE : A square, chiseled jaw and a sharp angled nose LIPS : Full COMPLEXION : Orange Tan BLEMISHES : None SCARS : A thin cut running diagonally across the right cheek TATTOOS : None HEIGHT : 6′3″ WEIGHT : Fit BUILD : Firm, toned FEATURES : Broad shoulders, larger than usual hands ALLERGIES : None USUAL HAIR STYLE : Tousled USUAL FACE LOOK : Furled lips and a perpetually furrowed brow USUAL CLOTHING : Faded jeans, dirt-crested boots, padded leather riding gloves, a leather harness composed of a plated epaulet, segmented sheets of steel, and a plethora of waxed leather belts and straps

FEAR/S : Small sharp objects, tall excessive heights ASPIRATION/S : To amass a sizable fortune, closure born of revenge   POSITIVE TRAITS : Resourceful, assured, resilient, tactful, domineering   NEGATIVE TRAITS : Obstinate, taciturn, greedy, self-serving, also domineering TEMPERAMENT : Melancholic SOUL TYPE/S : The Warrior, The King ANIMALS : Panther VICE HABIT/S : Tobacco, a collector of all things broken, knots   FAITH : Rhalgr GHOSTS? : Spirits, perhaps AFTERLIFE? : Yes REINCARNATION? : No POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : Though mostly disinclined, he plies what little familiarity he possesses concerning the political strife in Ul’dah. He is, additionally, knowledgeable of the many syndicates and individuals that compose the many circles of the black market   EDUCATION LEVEL : As literate as any Eorzean commonfolk  

FATHER : Missing, presumed dead MOTHER : Deceased SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED FAMILY : None NAME MEANING/S : The name has strong Germanic roots, and is composed of two elements which roughly mean “old, grown up” and “noble” HISTORICAL CONNECTION? : Named after a fictional dinosaur from a Disney movie, ha

BOOK : The sort which fetch a fat bounty DEITY : Rhalgr HOLIDAY : Starlight Celebration MONTH : 6th Umbral Moon SEASON : Summer PLACE : The ramparts overlooking the market of Ala Mhigo WEATHER : Overcast SOUND/S : The howl of a roaring gale, singing steel tearing through wind, distant chirping in a silent oasis, muffled voices SCENT/S : The musk of pristine leather, fresh bergamot and citrus, smoked wood   TASTE/S : Turmeric, mint, coriander, astringent fruits       FEEL/S : Warm sands, the sting of cold steel, the firm touch of taut leather and velveteen caress ANIMAL/S : Chocobos, any bird of prey, hounds NUMBER : 3 COLORS : Onyx, Azure, Pyrite

TALENTS : Carpentry, combat acumen, bare-knuckle brawls, crime?       BAD AT : Expressing sympathy, anything remotely technological, the principles of magick, defeat TURN ONS : Tension, control, power struggles, pain and peril, everlasting foreplay, hair pulling, masks     TURN OFFS : Indecision, meekness, excessive speaking, ripe stench   HOBBIES : Sketching artistically flavorful genitalia, rears, and mammaries in the back pages of a time-worn pocketbook TROPES : The JRPG protagonist anti-hero with the big sword, the gruff character whose life is changed by a precocious child, the quest, the reticent character who gradually learns to open up, past trauma which inspires vengeance   QUOTES : “Sod off.”

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?           A1 : The film would would pay homage and be reminiscent of the old spaghetti westerns (every Clint Eastwood flick), while also borrowing a lot of narrative themes from the Mad Max films. The plot centers around Aladar’s inception into the smuggling ring, encountering the varying underground factions and their politics, skirting dangerous rivals, choosing sides and betrayal that carves his niche in the black market dealings      

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?           A2 : Almost exclusively acoustic instrumental scores and themes to establish the mood of every setting

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?           A3 : Having roleplayed on WoW for most of my MMO tenure, I began noticing how stale everything became and there was nothing to revitalize my drive or inspiration. Then I began following a lot of FF blogs on tumblr which pushed me to finally try roleplaying a year after I began playing. It has been one of my best decision  

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?           A4 : The cold, distant personality, which I never tire of writing and developing

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5 : Again, the personality. It is difficult to engage Aladar in random RP because he makes for difficult interaction. I just cannot drop him in the middle of a scene without lots of pre-planning

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?           A6 : We are both reserved, easily irritated, and handsome  

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?           A7 : I cannot say but he sure as fuck be grateful I brought him into this world  

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?         A8 : He was a very delicate standing with the Alacran, and an on and off arrangement, yet a very profitable one, with a few Lominsan privateers who moonlight as slavers  

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse?         A9 : The person I write with, the premise of the stories I want to tell and the potential they hold, and a lot of artwork

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete?           A10 : A little less than twenty-four hours

#Ｐｒｏｍｐｔｓ

[knightingale-xiv]

BASICS.

full  name :  Mockingbird

nickname :  Kai Bennet

age :  ???

birthday : ???

ethnic  group :  Hume

nationality :  Eulmore

language / s :  Eorzean Common, the various languages of the First

sexual  orientation :  Straight

relationship  status :  Single

home  town / area :  The Eulmore Slums

current  home :  Wandering

profession :  Serial Killer

PHYSICAL.

hair :  Brown

eyes : Blue

face :  Sharp, boyish, angular

lips :  Normal

complexion :  Tanned

blemishes :  None

scars :  None

tattoos :  None

height :  5'7"

weight :  130 ponz

build : While on the shorter end, Kai is still well muscled and athletic in build.

features :  His features are surprisingly pristine, but he shares the face and body of Arthur D'ehcan, prior to his hair going white and getting all his scars.

allergies :  None

usual  hair  style :  Long and usually in a ponytail

usual  face  look :  Cold eyes and either an annoyed or cruel expression

usual  clothing :  Heavy armored plates and a gray bodysuit, or a white jacket and combat pants. He is never without his clawed gloves.

PSYCHOLOGY.

fear / s :  Rejoining Arthur and fading away

aspiration / s :  To become the most powerful fragment of Arthur's soul, and eventually usurp him as the Source version.

positive  traits :  For the few he DOES like, he will do whatever he has to to remove obstacles from their path...so long as they remain useful.

negative  traits :  Cruel, psychotic, selfish, greedy, quick to violence, easily agitated, doesn't value others, no worth to the lives of others, uses murder to solve a lot of his problems

major arcana :  The Star reversed

zodiac :  ???

temperament :  Choleric

soul  type :  The King

animal :  Mockingbird

vice habit / s :  Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Violence

faith :  The gods of his world are dead, so he has no faith

ghosts ? :  Yes

afterlife ? :  No. If he doesn't usurp Arthur, he is doomed to fade away

reincarnation ? :  Yes. He believes he will reincarnate if he dies without rejoining.

aliens ? :  No

political alignment :  None

education  level : None. He lived on the streets, and his knowledge has been stolen from mages or given to him by other beings.

FAMILY.

father :  Adric Fornhedder, deceased (Murdered by Kai)

mother :  Calia Fornhedder, deceased (Murdered by Kai)

siblings : Dylon Fornhedder, deceased (Murdered by Kai)

extended  family :  None

name meaning / s :  N/A

FAVORITES.

book :  None

deity :  None

holiday :  All Saint's Wake

month :  None

season :  Winter

place :  The Eulmoran show room

weather :  Cold and snowy

sound / s:  Screams of terror, flesh tearing, begging for mercy, or his most favorite...someone saying they will obey

scent / s :  Fire, cinnamon

taste / s :  Anything sweet

feel / s :  Warm blood

number :  None

animal: Amaro

colors :  Black, white, grey

EXTRA.

talents : Hand to hand combat, arcane arts, psychological torture

bad at :  Patience, physical affection, kindness

turn ons :  Fear in his partner, anything female, submission, resistance, cruelty

turn  offs :  Kindness, genuine affection, crying

hobbies :  Bad, bad things

quote : “A stolen song is just as sweet, when singing of your demise..."

MUN QUESTIONS.

q1 :  if you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

a1 :  Well, if it was a movie with Kai it'd have to include Arthur. Probably a thriller named 'Killer in the Mirror' where Kai is hunting and terrorizing Arthur until their fateful battle.

q2 :  what would their soundtrack/score sound like?

a2 :  Lots of strings and brass, dissonant tones thrown in and blood pumping...but somewhat desperate and sad in places

q3 :  why did you start writing this character?

a3 :   This is actually an older character idea from my Pathfinder days and Arthur's original character. He was a warrior hero who constantly reincarnated in times of great need, like Link of LoZ fame. However, something happened that shattered the cycle and split the soul into the multiverse, creating different versions. I carried that concept to FFXIV and thought, 'what if I did a Bad Ending story with Arthur?' And thus Mockingbird was born.

q4 :   what first attracted you to this character?

a4 :  I've always been in love with the concept of a dark reflection. Someone who comes from the same origin as the hero, and has the same sort of life but with just a few different choices that take them down a vastly different road. The contrast of someone as cruel and genuinely evil as Kai, and someone as pure hearted and genuinely good as Arthur is just great to me.

q5 :  describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

a5 : I have a hard time playing evil characters for long periods of time. My own persinal guilt eventually weighs on me and makes being evil less fun. So i need to take long breaks between horrific acts. Another thing that makes it difficult, even if i don't FULLY dislike it, is that he is very much an action oriented character. He doesn't sit in the alleyways of Ul'dah staring down opponents and talking for 4 hours in a posture fest. If you talk shit, you WILL get hit. This sort of conflict oriented RP makes playing him hard sometimes as a lot of people don't WANT to actually fight.

q6 :  what do you have in common with your muse?

a6 :  God, hopefully nothing

q7 :  how does your muse feel about  you?

a7 :  I have no idea. He'd probably want to kill me I guess

q8 :  what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?

a8 :  He has interesting interactions with just about everyone he meets! Isuke has actually been the only one so far to actually make him LIKE them somewhat, even if his affection is full tilt obsession not genuine care.

q9 :  what gives you inspiration to write your muse?

a9 :  Scary movies, movie villains, sad or fucked up songs. Anything 'bad' really.

q10 :  how long did this take you to complete?

a10 :  Like 30 minutes

Tagged By: @duskspeakers

Tagging: @glorified-thieves @isuke-ejinn @jateshi (for whichever character you please!) @andarion @ayyymeric @paissa-brat @enairu @solaire-and-magia @nenet-ffxiv @lilbugprincess

#Kai Bennet #the mockingbird #ffxiv meme #about the character #bad guy #villain

[starkendgame]

okay so i saw endgame twice last weekend

there’s spoilers ahead y’all so i suggest scrolling on by if u haven’t watched

anyways

here are my thoughts and they’re all over the place so

- first hawkeye scene was already so sad also do i sense a kate bishop??

- tony teaching nebula how to play paper flick football was the so cute i love their dynamic

- also seeing how caring nebula was during that time oh man i am soft

- okay but how did carol just happen to come across tony and nebula’s ship???? like there’s a whole universe,,, and she just found it??

- “i lost the kid” had me ready to cry so fast

- rocket responding to being called a build-a-bear with “maybe i am” snsksjkd

- tony’s snap at cap was so valid and i think he needed to let all that out and cap really needed to hear that

- also i like that they gave him credit for his warning that the world needed a suit of armor because it shows some dummies that he created ultron with good intentions

- support group cap is a good concept and also kinda sad bc we know sam was also a support group leader

- this is an unpopular opinion and people will definitely disagree with me but carols new haircut was not doing things for her

- nat crying over clint made me big sad especially the second time around

- honestly i really liked nat in this movie more than others, her character really shows some depth

- i swear i’m going to get 3000 tattooed on me somewhere that shit HURTED

- on that note morgan stark is the most adorable little girl i’ve ever seen and dad!tony deserved to be a concept for more than 5 years (or 5 minutes from an audience point of view)

- like if you didn’t hear “define lunch or be desintagrated” and immediately melt ur a liar

- scott running around the vanished memorial in panic is :(

- okay cassie looks way to old for just a 5 year time jump im sorry someone had to say it

- hulk/banner is so fucking weird it’s so uncomfortable but also it didn’t bother me to the extent where i wanted it changed bc it was pretty funny

- also him giving scott tacos had me rolling

- thor bod is okay and i think shitting on him for it is mean we all acknowledged that he’d been through a lot after infinity war

- “shit”

- tony inventing time travel super casually? iconic.

- tony also creating a gauntlet in a hot second even though thanos had to fatty go to nidavellir and use some special ass metal to get his? even more iconic.

- all the domestic scenes where the avengers just sit around trying to figure out where to make their jumps and nat with her little notepad and bruce going “shut the front door” all of it was so good

- alright here’s the tea the thor we know and love would not just ignore loki when he went back in time he’d have exactly the same reaction as when his mother showed up

- their whole relationship that was built in ragnarok just fucking died and i refuse to accept that

- also seeing loki made me very happy and very sad i miss that dramatic little bitch

- also i love frigga

- america’s ass

- literally imagine checking out ur own ass and being like “damn,,” while ur friends also do the same

- “i can do this all day” “yeah i know” was solid fucking comedy even he’s tired of it

- “hail hydra” was also so good that bitch really took full advantage of being from the future he was so proud of himself

- i feel like nebula perhaps could have warned nat and clint about vormir but idk

- nat is so fucking important and deserved better, no memorial? no funeral? really?

- honestly and this is a problematic opinion but i wish it was clint and not nat because marvel wasnt doing enough with his character anyways and nat was such an integral part of the team in so many ways and it’s kind of terrible that i think this bc clint has a family but nat was honestly the heart of the team

- but she did so good and i’m proud of her she really died a hero’s death and she needs recognition

- the broken shield like how it was in tony’s vision is rough

- cap lifting mjolnir??????? Wack

- shuri yesssss i really hope she has a bigger role later in the avengers but im upset tony didn’t get to meet her he would’ve loved her :(

- the scene when everyone came back and it was just everyone in one place was such an experience like man the goosebumps

- also seeing peter for the first time back made my heart swell i love that boy

- tony and pepper iron couple is everything i needed thank you

- tony and petey reunion <3

- but also i felt like peters lines during their reunion were a just the slightest bit odd but that’s just the script not toms acting

- scott looking at hope when she calls steve “cap”

- the fact that cap called peter “queens” is really cute and overlooked also pepper calling him “kid” like tony does

- the girl team up WHEW chile can i tell u i was smiling so big that shit had me SHOOK at first but then it occurred to me how unlikely it is that they would all end up in the same spot and that was completely there just to make fans have the exact reaction we’re all having and so they could score brownie points i’m sorry i had to say it

- okoye is hands down the most badass woman out there no powers no armor no shield no suit no fancy tech she’s just out there kicking ass with her spear and i appreciate her

- also this might be dumb but if carol is the strongest of all of them, why couldn’t she use the gauntlet and perhaps survive

- also it’s just stupid that they acted that carol was going to be such a big part of the movie but she was there for maybe 2 hot seconds

- seeing that crusty purple small dick grape finally get dusted was all kinds of satisfying

- “we won mr stark” “i’m sorry tony” and “you can rest now” fucking destroyed me thanks

- i’m going to fucking miss tony so much i’ve cried so much

- he’s literally been my favorite superhero for 11 years Fuck

- proof that tony stark has a heart also destroyed me bitch i am GRIEVING

- who’s gonna make the abnoxious sarcastic witty comments now Bitch the mcu lost so much with the death of tony stark

- also i really hope they show peter having some issues after all this i think it’s only realistic there’s a lot of trauma he went through

- harleyyyyyyy :)

- cheeseburgers :(

- also speaking of harley can he pick up the genius invention slack in the future i think that’d be so good

- queen brunnhilde <3 ur gonna do great

- where’s gamora?? also her timeline has got to be super fucked up now

- is thor gonna be in guardians 3??

- also it’s a bit upsetting that even with the snap that brought everyone back, half thor’s people are still dead bc they died before the snap

- ned and petey reunion <3

- caps ending has me a little conflicted because yes it’s nice that he got his happy life and everything but i am gonna be one of those people who thinks it’s a bit out of character

- also if i’m being honest, tony and caps endings should’ve been switched i feel like, tony really needed to be able to have his happy ending and stop blaming himself and living with that guilt i think he deserved that closure and also having that character on standby for future movies seems super useful to push some plots forward?

- and with cap his whole thing was that he really wasn’t supposed to live past that plane crash and i felt like if his character was gonna go out it would be the way that tonys did bc i mean the man stood up in front of a whole freakin army before he knew help was coming

- that aside i think bucky should’ve gotten the shield, mostly because i think that’s only fair but also sam already has falcon, but all bucky has is the winter soldier and that has all types of bad shit attached to it so idk i think to make him captain would’ve been better

- i do think bucky knew what cap was gonna do he literally said “i’m gonna miss you” before he left even though he was supposed to have been back in 5 seconds his time and he didn’t look freaked out at all when he didn’t also he told sam to go ahead and talk to steve that bitch Knew

- also the sun didn’t fucking shine and i’m pissed they completely fucking desreguarded his entire monologue in that scene

- if tony and nat don’t get big ass memorial statues im going to sue

- also i hope peter and morgan have a cute sibling relationship please it’s what we need

- the sound of the first iron man suit being built at the end really got me and it was only 2 seconds of Sound

- but i wish we got an actual end credit scene like scenes with tony and morgan or something that teases far from home or some homage to the A6 idk it was underwhelming to not have a scene

- also i can’t watch any marvel movies now without being REALLY sad so there’s that i’m a little bit of a disaster

- i think overall this movie overlooked a lot of development that went on before hand and in that sense i think it lost a lot, but in terms of how the story went down i think it was good there was just a few things i wish they added (thor and loki ahem ahem) and honestly the movie should’ve been longer w an interlude but it was good + worth the watch i’m just a huge emotional wreck

- (also a side note: i’ve seen some people questioning why others are so upset over these fictional characters and it’s because yes we have attachments to the characters but also the actors, and after the characters die the actors won’t be in any more of these movies and we won’t see any more of their content or interaction with the rest of the cast and that shit is sad we’re gonna miss them so there are some tears)

#endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers #endgame #A4 #spoilers #tony stark #captain america #iron man #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #black widow #my babies :’(((( #marvel

[petalsbloomed-a]

VERY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY !! RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10  ! good  luck  ! TAGGED.  stolen !!! TAGGING. anyone who wants to do this tbh cuz this is long as shit and i dont want anyone to do this who might not be able to aljdhfskjdhkj

BASICS. FULL  NAME : galo thymos NICKNAME : himbo, idiot, rookie, newbie, #1 firefighting idiot AGE : 21 BIRTHDAY : june 30 ETHNIC  GROUP : japanese (+ korean / western european) NATIONALITY : american LANGUAGE / S : english / japanese / studied french and spanish SEXUAL  ORIENTATION : demisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : single HOME  TOWN / AREA : promeopolis (i envision this being around nyc / tri-state area) CURRENT  HOME : lives with older sister and niece PROFESSION : firefighter, undergraduate student

PHYSICAL. SKIN : pretty fair tan, but he sometimes appears a little darker than usual. his skin does a strange thing where it changes shade in different lighting. his skin is usually smooth, but right after getting finished with work, he sometimes is covered in dust and appears somewhat dried out. EYES : slightly upturned, deep-set, wide and somewhat of an almond shape. irises are usually very round, and are a bluish-cyan color. pupils often alight with mischief. in intense lighting, you can see a little red dot reflecting off his eyes. LIPS : pretty thin and nude, hard to notice. matches his skin tone very well. usually quite smooth. tends to get chapped after working. COMPLEXION : pretty fair, but in different lighting, he can look a lot tanner than what he really is. BLEMISHES : he has a few moles here and there, but overall his skin is fairly clear and clean. he doesn’t suffer from acne nearly as much as he did when he was in grade school. SCARS : he has some tiny, barely noticeable acne scars on his face, chin, and neck. the most noticeable ones are on his left arm from when he was practically set alight by a burnish flame. these are thick and quote coarse, and can cause some discomfort when touched. he also has a very small nick in his left ear, which was how his sister identified him when he found her after being separated from their family after the burnish incident when he was a kid. TATTOOS : an arrow that goes right below the nape of his neck to the middle of his back. the point is at about the small of his back, and there are a few decorations along the arrow. HEIGHT : 6′0, 183 cm WEIGHT : 165 lbs, ~75 kg BUILD : very muscular, quite athletic. very beefy arms, strong chest, well-built abdominals. however, his thighs and waist are pretty thin and trim. FEATURES : his most distinct features are his dramatic haircut and scars on his left arm, as well as the small white line on the outer helix of his left ear. his chest and shoulders are also quite broad in comparison to his rather thin waist. ALLERGIES : slight peanut allergy, dust, pollen. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE : undercut with a dramatic, spiky blue mohawk. USUAL  FACE  LOOK : mischievous smile or smirk; sometimes looks a bit wistful, like he’s thinking about something. USUAL  CLOTHING : is normally shirtless, wearing thick red firefighter pants with a yellow “3.” most often wears black rubber boots, black gloves, ear lobe piercings, and an industrial piercing. sometimes wears a black tee-shirt.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : spiders, bugs, needles, being in love (kind of), losing his sister or niece, finding out his parents are dead. ASPIRATION / S : to continue his firefighting career, to receive a masters in emergency medical technology / fire prevention & safety technology. POSITIVE  TRAITS : brave, caring, friendly, modest. NEGATIVE  TRAITS : daring, reckless, sensitive, over-attachment. MBTI : entertainer (ESFP-A) ZODIAC : cancer TEMPEREMENT : choleric / sanguine SOUL  TYPE / S : performer ANIMALS : zebra VICE  HABIT / S : twiddling thumbs, jiggling leg (usually the right), twirling & playing with hair, biting nails, chewing lips, swearing, sighing, pen clicking. FAITH : none; would consider himself agnostic. GHOSTS ? : yes. AFTERLIFE ? : not sure. REINCARNATION ? : not sure, but leaning towards no. ALIENS ? : yes. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT : independent, opinions slightly more left-leaning EDUCATION  LEVEL : graduate student

FAMILY. FATHER : nikanor thymos MOTHER : agape thymos SIBLINGS : danai thymos (older sister) EXTENDED  FAMILY : james (ex-brother-in-law), aria (niece) NAME  MEANING / S : his first name is of an unknown meaning, but it could mean “from gaul” in greek. his last name comes from the greek word “thumos”, which means “spiritedness” or “the need of recognition.” HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : not that we know of, i think ???

FAVORITES. BOOK : harry potter / hunger games MOVIE : the lion king 5  SONGS : rick astley - never gonna give you up, lady gaga - born this way, beyonce - countdown, ariana grande - god is a woman, pitbull - timber (feat. kesha) DEITY : zeus HOLIDAY : christmas MONTH : july SEASON : summer PLACE : his bedroom / the lounge at work WEATHER : partly cloudy SOUND : meditation sounds SCENT / S : coffee, flowers, fresh baked desserts, fresh pizza, light cologne TASTE / S : coffee, vanilla cake, milk chocolate, parmesan cheese, green tea anything tbh FEEL / S : soft blankets, comfy pillows, loose-fitting clothes ANIMAL / S : dogs NUMBER : 13 COLORS : teal blue / flame red

EXTRA. TALENTS : piano, singing, writing, linguistics, thinking quickly, firefighting BAD  AT : drawing (sort of), getting himself organized, following orders (sometimes) TURN  ONS : kindness, sensitivity, acceptance, openness, agreeableness TURN  OFFS : irresponsibility, lack of free time, ignorance HOBBIES : piano, singing, writing (stories, poems, etc), karate TROPES : ambiguously gay, antiquated linguistics, broken tears, calling your attacks, the chosen one, firemen are hot, going commando, hunk, idiot hero, innocently insensitive, large ham, mr. fanservice, oblivious to love, the protagonist, rookie red ranger, scars are forever, shonen hair, you gotta have blue hair (found here, there’s a lot more actually) QUOTES : “medals are made to be awarded to and from people who deserve them.” / “you can’t just kill for no reason!” / “[i’m] the universe’s #1 firefighting idiot!”

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ? A1 : honestly??? i think i would keep it the way it is, BUT i would like to have seen some more canonical information about galo’s family. as of right now, we know that kray saved him after his family was attacked by the burnish. if i were to direct a new movie about galo, i would focus it mainly on his family. Q2 : what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ? A2 : i think it would be a mix of melancholic music as well as more upbeat stuff. on my blog’s main page there are links in the sidebar to both a soundtrack playlist as well as a pop music playlist; i definitely think it’s fair that a variety of genres would suit him and his experiences. Q3 : why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ? A3 : when i first watched promare, i was instantly drawn to this buffoon himbo. i’ve always had a thing for upbeat, energetic characters who are also quite caring and a bit dumb (which yes galo is very smart but he has his moments). while their personalities differ greatly (despite having the same personality type), he reminds me a lot of lance from vld, who i absolutely adore as well (and i also rp him too oops) Q4 : what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A4 : again, probably his personality. while i’m not as energetic and upbeat as galo and i have a very, very different personality type than him, i feel like i definitely do understand him. i understand why he feels he needs to be overly confident, and i also have my moments where i just need to storm off and be alone. god i could write paragraphs and paragraphs about why i like galo but i wanna keep it short and sweet and just stick with those two points, which i consider to be the biggest points. Q5 : describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse. A5 : look, i know i said i liked confidence, but something about galo that annoys me is the fact that he can often seem too confident. like yeah he seemed pretty humble in that pizza scene at the beginning of the movie, but i can’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance towards people who put themselves right into the center of attention and be all like “yeah i know i’m great.” like my boy i love you but do u have to announce urself every time u appear on the scene??? and pls stop being so reckless u honestly might die too soon one of these days we want u to be around for us to enjoy u Q6 : what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ? A6 : i definitely feel like we both have our moments where we just need some peace and quiet. of course, everyone needs this, but when galo talked about running off when he was pissed reminded me of me; i tend to go and cool off and vent to myself if i’m annoyed about something. we’re both naturally people-oriented and love to be around others, even though galo likes being the center of attention a little bit more than myself. Q7 : how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ? A7 : in the sense that if galo were real, i honestly think we would get along fairly well. we have different ways of dealing with things, but we have similar habits and personality traits. however when it comes to rp blogs, while i do like to headcanon things about my muses that mirror my own opinions and beliefs, i do consider the mun/muse relationship fairly symbiotic. we as real people can learn so much from fictional characters and in how we play them, and of course, the mun will determine some things about the muse that will deter from canon. Q8 : what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ? A8 : i just started this blog and have had very minimal interactions, so it’s hard to say ! i’d say that an interaction with a kray muse would be the most interesting. part of me wants galo to forgive kray and to have a better relationship with him post-movie canon, but there’s still so much about galo and kray’s relationship pre-movie as well; what was their relationship like? was kray like a father to galo? how can i describe the psychological mindset that galo had after finding out that kray betrayed him? there’s so much about these two that i really want to discover and look at, while of course providing my own insight (cuz that’s what muns do, right?). Q9 : what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ? A9 : i like to study galo’s actions in the movie, and try to find the underlying cause of the actions he takes. however, when it comes to headcanons, i will often think of a scene or an idea in my head and then internally apply it to galo and see if it works. this is usually what kindles my writing fire: the thoughts that often rush through my head. Q10 : how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ? A10 : like two whole days lmao im so slow

#heart of fire and soul of passion. (headcanon) #noah rambles. (out of character)

[thefallenofbajhiri]

Never Ending Survey: Toshi

Rules: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

Tagged by: @gildedandgolden​

tagging: Everyone I wanted to tag was already tagged but I shall throw in a few peeps AKA @benes-diction​ @theaetherhealerffxiv​ and @talechaser-ffxiv​ <3

basics.

FULL NAME: Toshinaku ‘Bajhiri’ formerly known as Sozoh’a Bajhiri

NICKNAME: Toshi by just about everyone really, he prefers it to his full name most of the time.

AGE:  Unknown, Looks to be in his Early to Mid Twenties. He is a voidsent after all, Age means nothing to him.

BIRTHDAY: 29th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Au Ra (Cursed Form), Voidsent (True Form)

NATIONALITY: Former Memeber of the Bajhiri Clan

LANGUAGE/S: Eorzean Common, Huntspeak (Keeper and Seeker), Dravanian/Draconic, Ancient Allagan and Voidsent. Knows enough about other languages to manage.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS:  Not really interested, No one can sway/win him over

HOMETOWN / AREA: A dense forest found in the deepest parts of the North Shroud.

CURRENT HOME:  Nomadic

PROFESSION: Master Alchemist and Engineer, takes up the study on Genetics and Genetic Altering (As well as a darker business in the background selling Fantasias). Entertainer and Belly Dancer in Ul’dah, offers his services as a male prostitute as well.

physical.

HAIR: Long and down to the top of his tail, Burgundy colored with purple tips, usually kept fairly decent.

EYES: Burgundy that matches the color of his hair but it is blocked out most of the time by the Lavender Limbal Rings.

FACE: Sharp but somewhat ‘soft’ looking, has a very young and youthful appearance

LIPS: Full, Plus, Silken Words

COMPLEXION: Pale, Greyish-Lavender skin with Opal-Moonstone Scales

BLEMISHES: Body looks to be in perfect condition with nothing staining it

SCARS: Pristine and almost unreal in appearance, whatever scars he might have heal quickly

TATTOOS: Numerous Tattoos that cover all of his form with the most notable being on his torso and back which cover the entire area.

HEIGHT: 8′9″ far taller than any normal Au Ra

WEIGHT: 290lbs.

BUILD: Muscular and very toned with legs that many dancers would be jealous of.

FEATURES: Golden Claws, Somewhat Dragon-like Feet, Adorned with Silks and Jewelry

ALLERGIES: While not allergic to it he is extremely sensitive to white, holy and light based magics and Aether.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Long and left completely down most of the time, will sometimes tie his hair up into a high ponytail that cascades down to the middle of his back like a waterfall.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Coy, sometimes playful, teasing and flirty in some cases. When in hunt mode however he seems to have an almost smug and cunning look.

USUAL CLOTHING:  Dancers clothing that is made out of long silks usually in Grape Purple, silks are transparent and show most/all of his skin. Wears a Kohakama to reveal as much skin as possible since he is an entertainer.

psychology.

FEAR/S: While he will never admit to them, Toshi has a fear of being alone though he has gotten far better with it obviously.

ASPIRATION/S:  Breaking the seals on his body and earning his freedom once again.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Attractive, Observant, Playful and Resourceful

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Aggressive, Deceptive, Impatient and Obsessive

TEMPERAMENT:  Generally Coy and Playful at the start but can quickly turn to wild and destructive.

SOUL TYPE/S: The Warrior

ANIMALS:  Snakes, Serpents, Dogs, Wolves, Dragons.

VICE HABIT/S: Murdering People who Upset Him, Obsessively on the Hunt to break the Seals, Extreme Pride and Looks down on others, Constant Lies and Manipulation to get what he wants

FAITH: Formerly Menphina, the Lover (When he was Sozoh’a) now he follows no one.

GHOSTS?: He’s seen the souls of his deceased family... so yes.

AFTERLIFE?: He did destroy the souls of his family after killing them so... very much yes.

REINCARNATION?: Going through what he has, there is a small thought that it could be possible.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Keeps well away from it.

EDUCATION LEVEL:  Well Educated at the very least to get what he needs to get done. Basically he knows what to do in most situations to the best of his abiities.

family.

FATHER: Name Unknown, Keeper of the Moon possessed by a High Ranking Voidsent

MOTHER: Sozoh Bajhiri (Deceased, Keeper of the Moon)

SIBLINGS: Sizha (Eldest Sister), Rosah (Sister), Vekhe and Zahveh (Twins, Youngest Sisters) All Deceased

EXTENDED FAMILY: Una’to Bajhiri (Clan Branch, Relationship Unknown), Sebha’to Bajhiri (Clan Branch, Relationship Unknown). Various other Bajhiri Clan Branch members.

NAME MEANING/S: Bright (Toshi), potentially ‘Gift of the God’ for Naku.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None...

favorites.

BOOK: Fictional, Fantasy, Horror, Mythology and some Folklore. Also anything regarding Ancient histories.

DEITY: Formerly Menphina, does not truly hold to any deities now however.

HOLIDAY: All Saints' Wake

MONTH: April

SEASON: Fall

PLACE: The Alchemists Guild

WEATHER: Heavy storms with intense thunder and lightning

SOUND / S: Boiling Water, Bubbling Potions, Wind Blowing and Rainfall

SCENT / S:  Fresh Rain and Dew, Blood and the many scents of brewing potions.

TASTE / S:  Savory and sometimes Sweet. Also has a fondness for Saltiness.

FEEL / S:  Smooth Scales with Soft Skin, Silken Hair.

ANIMAL / S:  A Beady Eye that he calls Kuso because it’s a piece of shit. It counts as an animal right?

NUMBER: 355

COLORS: Burgundy, Lavender, Grape Purple, Silver, Gold, Opal, Moonstone.

extra.

TALENTS: Potion Crafting, Tinkering/Engineering, Belly Dancing

BAD AT: Not Killing People, Controlling his Temper, Staying in his ‘Cursed’ Au Ra Form

TURN ONS: Gentle Caresses to his Scales, Touches to his tail specifically at the end, Roughly Grabbing at his Hips

TURN OFFS: It’s hard to say what would turn him off really...

HOBBIES: Murdering People is Fun, Seeking a way to break the seals on his body, Fantasia Crafting

TROPES: Dark is Evil, Always Chaotic Evil, Eldritch Abomination, Power of the Void, Demons Lords and Archdevils, Our Demons are Different, Sealed Evil in a Can and Unstoppable Rage

QUOTES: "Are you looking to strike a deal for a potion?” “I want to know where he is...” “I will find you little clan mate...”

mun questions.

Q1 :  If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1 : Pretty sure the movie would be called “From the Darkness” or “The Fallen of Bajhiri” since those are the big things I go with for Toshi. It would easily be a Horror film and it would likely be a trilogy where the first movie is about his past (When he was Sozoh’a) leading up to his transformation to Toshi, the second would be focused on him getting sealed away and his hunt to break the seals. Third is likely him either breaking the seals and getting his freedom or something... I dunno.

Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2 : Mostly Horror Music and Themes, Likely Horror Video Game music such as things from Silent Hill.

Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?          

A3 : Toshinaku was retired well after I created him, I had originally wanted to make him as a sort of adopted into the Miqo’te Clan type character and to RP someone with my good friend @skyysinger​ with Sebha’to. But I quickly tossed it out... and now that I’ve had a lot of fun RPing and talking with amazing people like @unatobajhiri​ and @nyrs-nook​ I got inspired to bring him back. I guess the big reason I wanted to start writing him is because I really wanted to write horror stories.

Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          

A4 : I have way too many muses and ideas at times though when I originally made Toshi again it was him being seen as an Adopted outsider into the Miqo’te Clan. After revising him and RPing with my friends I started to develop a greater lover for horror aspects and I wanted to play with something I never really delved that deep into before. I had done things with Dragons and Halfbreeds for various races but I never touched on any creatures from the Void.

Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 :  I suppose if I had to pick something that I ‘dislike’ about Toshi is I guess that his content can be very... mature and 18+ themed which means that it’s not really suited for everyone. I do love the horror and body horror that I write for him but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea obviously. I am also always afraid of creating characters like this because of how people might take them (Him being a Voidsent, how he turned, things like that) and how people tend to be at times.

Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6 :   Do... I share anything in common with this asshole? Honestly... I do not know and I’m almost terrified if I do have something in common with him...

Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about you?          

A7 :  I’m pretty sure Toshi hates me just for the simple fact that I keep throwing him into hell and putting him through a lot of pain and suffering because I find it so relaxing to write those body horror stories of his. I think he might want to tear me apart because of how many times I’ve had him just... well you know... 

Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        

A8 :  When it comes down to it Toshi really finds most people he interacts with interesting... unless it’s @unatobajhiri‘s Una’to because then it’s just a game of how much can the Keeper annoy the shit out of him. He finds characters like @gildedandgolden‘s Aure very... curious because he is trying to learn why they are how they are. Any other characters he has interacted with were just NPCs for story purposes and he usually goes to characters so that he can try and achieve his goal.

Q9 :  What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?        

A9 : The biggest inspiration for me is just knowing that people enjoy seeing the things that I post about any of my characters. When people praise me I don’t know how to take it but that shows me that people are indeed interested in these characters and stories that I have to offer. It helps me fight the bad brain demons that I have where I’ll usually give up on a character entirely either because I feel that I am bothering and annoying people with that character or because I feel like I am wasting peoples time with them or it’s simply because I feel like no one will want to see the character. A lot of the times I feel my stuff is trash or garbage so knowing that people want to see more is always an inspiration to keep me writing.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?          

A10 : Hrmmmmm roughly an hour but I also had a cat get on my lap and in the way during the middle of this so... RIP

#{ Tags of the Void (Memes) } #{ Out for Chaos (OOC) }

[mintchocolateleaves]

Cost of Freedom (26/52)

Summary: In which Kaito and Shinichi leave behind the police station. Kazuha demands an explanation. Aoko has her suspicions and Ran isn’t sure what to think. Prison!AU

[Beginning]     [Previous Chapter]     [Next Chapter]

“What is wrong with you?”

Frankly, Kaito isn’t sure whether this question is rhetoric, so instead of offering a response, he grabs hold of Shinichi’s wrist, pulls him across the roof they’ve landed on towards the edge.

“You pushed me out of a window!” Shinichi cries.

Still, Kaito doesn’t offer an answer - maybe seeing Aoko has rattled him more than he thinks. He’s not sure, but it feels almost as if she’s following after him, a ghost by his side, holding her place until the real one can take it’s place.

He looks over the edge of the roof - it’s a long drop, about five meters, but Kaito thinks if they lower themselves from the gutter and shimmy across to the drain pipes, they’ll be able to get down to the ground in no time at all.

From there… well, all they need to do is get to the bags they’d stashed at the train station, change into a different disguise and get out of Chiyoda… Sure, no problem at all. It’s not like there are infinite police officers right beside them.

“You won’t even say you’re sorry?”

Kaito glances up from where he’s testing the gutters for any weak spots. There’s one further down, but it should hold if they go one at a time - he’ll have to go after Shinichi then, so that the other can get down without any extra time pressure weighing down on his shoulders in the form of police officers.

“Maybe later,” he says, voice controlled despite his own feelings, “when we’re not being chased by the police. Right now, I need you to climb across to that drain and slide down to the ground.”

Shinichi blinks. Then, despite the tension in his shoulders, he lets out a sigh, drags himself to the grate and does as he’s asked. It’s doesn’t seem difficult for him to get down - he’s almost… quick… - and Kaito lets out a breath of relief as he places his hands back against the gutter, swinging himself across.

Metal groans.

Kaito curses as it turns from a groan into the sound of ripping metal. The gutters had already been weak… and with Shinichi…

“Oh shit,” Kaito says, as it gives way above him.

It feels almost like there are needles hammering away at her heart.

Glancing out of the window, eyes wide as she mouths Shinichi’s name, it takes Ran a while to register the tears rolling down her cheeks. His name burns against her tongue, and it’s painful because he’d been so near, and yet, like always, he’d been so far from her reach.

“He came back,” Ran mumbles, when she notices the presence behind her, a hand on her shoulder. It’s a light touch – Aoko – and it leaves her feeling only vaguely reassured. “Why would Shinichi come back?”

Hand dropping from Ran’s shoulder, Aoko pushes a piece of paper into her hands. It’s A6, tiny, the size of a postcard, kanji scrawled across the page, with a little caricature. Ran takes a deep breath, reminds herself to breathe.

“KID…”

Aoko nods. “It’s so like Kaito to announce a heist within two days of breaking out of prison. Aoko thinks he’s probably been planning it since he was in prison, it explains the playing card he’d left behind. He was toying with the police before he even escaped, and this is just to bait them into coming after him.”

Ran turns away from the windows, glances at the police officers that have raced down the corridor in their attempts to recapture the convicts. Then, she looks down at the heist notice – it’s different to the ones she’s read before, more blunt. Either KID is wilder now, prison having altered one of the key principles of his personality, or he’s pressed for time.

The fact that he’s left them two messages in the span of two days, forces Ran to think that maybe it’s the former – especially if she adds the records of him during solitary that she’d skimmed through yesterday.

The note reads:

Let’s not use pretty words with one another, detectives.

I’m taking the Cullinan Diamond. You won’t be able to stop me – just like you won’t be able to catch me again.

You’ve had one miracle. You won’t get another.

Ran passes the note over to the first detective she can, shoulders through the crowd until she’s at the end of the corridor, both Hattori and Aoko looking at her for what to do next.

“But why would KID bring Shinichi here?”

It feels like an incomplete theory. A heist note declaring KID’s intentions following his escape from prison only accounts for KID’s presence, not Shinichi’s. And unless Ran assumes that Shinichi’s working alongside KID…

There must be something else, something bigger than what Ran already knows.

“Maybe Kudo’s workin’ with ‘im or somethin’,” Hattori says. “what did th’ note say?”

Ran repeats what she’d known, watches as Hattori scrunches his nose, confusion swimming through his eyes. Beside him, Aoko frowns, attempting to figure out whether the Osakan is sincere in his confusion. It’s stupid, Ran thinks, to suspect the Osakan when they should be trusting him to help solve their case.

Plus, it’s impossible to fake the level of surprise and confusion Hattori’s currently wearing. He rubs the back of his neck, brows furrowed in attempt to figure it out. Not that the message itself is difficult – KID will come and steal the diamond. No fancy talk, just a warning.

“But why a heist…” Hattori asks, “surely they wanna lay low?”

Ran bites at her lip. Shrugs her shoulders. She’s not completely sure, but from the subtle shift of Aoko’s shoulders, she’s pretty sure the other girl has an idea. It’s KID’s idea then, to not remain hidden, to act so suddenly.

“Kaito’s very active,” Aoko says, and she crosses her arms. There’s a slight pause, as she tries to find the right words for what she’s saying, “Aoko wasn’t expecting him to lay low at all. He always needs to be doing something or else it drives him crazy.”

Just by looking, Ran can see she’s remembering the solitary reports. The grief of knowing about the topics KID had talked about during his time in solitary… the fact that he’d mimicked Aoko in particular… it shows in her expression. In the way her smile tightens.

“In fact, Aoko thinks the heist will be within the week… If Ran-chan and Hattori-kun have read up on KID, then they’ll know that Kaito always conducted heists to a quicker time plan. The original KID would conduct heists every three months, but Kaito conducted them every month. He’s always been impatient.”

It still doesn’t give Ran any answers as to why Shinichi was here… Unless…

“Are ya suggestin’ we look for Kudo at th’ heist and ask why he was here?” Hattori asks, leaning forward. It’s not a bad idea… Even if it goes against what she knows about Shinichi, if he’s come to the police station with KID, then logically, he’ll be present at the heist as well…

Although, she’s still not that sure…

“Aoko’s suggesting that we follow the clues that Kudo-kun left behind.” Aoko says, breathing a heavy sigh. “In his psychological assessment, he left clues, and Aoko thinks him coming into the police station with Kaito is a clue as well.”

Ran bites down on her lip – again, it seems like Aoko is seeing things that she’s overlooked because of her own emotions. She says, “and what clue is that?”

“Kaito would have left Kudo-kun if they weren’t working together,” Aoko says, turning on her heel so that Ran can’t see whatever emotion is splayed across her face. “Since Kaito pushed him from the window to stop his reunion with Ran-chan, Kaito must have a reason not to want Kudo-kun to get caught.”

There is a pause as Ran comes to grips with what she’s hearing.

“And if KID wants something from Shinichi, then Shinichi must want something from him.”

As the metal gives way, cracking beneath him, Kaito surveys the rest of the gutters – it’s about a three meter jump from one wall to the next from where he is. The fall, however, is much further and he’s not sure he wants to risk it.

Instead, he looks down. There’s a window ledge beneath him. A metre – no, a metre and a half below, and it juts out far enough that he should be able to get a good enough grip if he drops.

Not that he has much choice.

His fingers scrape against stone, wounds from barbed wire screaming in protest as his palms smack against rock.

Body smacking into the wall beneath the window, Kaito lets out a hiss. He’s not falling, no, but pain courses through him like the electricity he’s learned to hate.

“You okay?” Shinichi shouts up, which… Kaito isn’t sure whether he wants to thank the detective for thinking about his health, or whether to shout down at him for being a complete idiot. Giving away their location by asking if he’s okay?

Kaito’s pretty certain that Shinichi would not make a good criminal.

He doesn’t give a response. Instead, Kaito glances to the side, shuffles to the left of the window and glances over at the drain pipe. It’s not the furthest jump he’s had to do before, but with little practise, it feels almost as if he’s pushing the odds.

“I’m not going back to prison,” Kaito mutters. He looks up at the sound of footsteps, decides he doesn’t want to see the police officers when their heads appear over the side of the roof, and throws himself towards the gutter instead.

His fingers slip against the metal as soon as he touches them, and for a moment, it’s as if he’s falling again. Instead, Kaito lets out a pained breath, his fingers aching, and tries to find a better grip.

Two metres from the ground, he finds it. He pushes back from the gutter, jumps and dives into a roll. Before he even has time to blink, he’s grabbing Shinichi’s arm, adrenaline spurring him forward as they make their way outside of the alleyway.

“You know what,” Kaito breathes as he drags them right, “I’ll be great when we can get to the station.”

The thing is though… Kaito’s pretty sure that even if they run, they’ll get cornered by the police before they can reach the station – where it’ll take them fifteen minutes to run to Kudanshita station, it’ll only take the police eight minutes to drive there. Even with the busy traffic, the police will be able to get there before them.

Unless…

Kaito glances across the street. He glances at the cars, tries to guess when to run in order to not get hit by any that are actually capable of moving, and drags Shinichi across the busy road without a second thought.

“Bikes,” Shinichi says, when Kaito grabs hold of a bike that’s been left outside of a shop, “we can’t…”

“Get over yourself,” Kaito snaps, throwing his leg over one of the bikes, “if we run, the police beat us to the station. If we ride the bikes, then with this traffic, we’ll get there at roughly the same time.”

Shinichi takes one of the other bikes.

Making his way back to the CCTV room and to his best friend that’s waiting inside, ready to receive an answer, Heiji lets himself hold a breath. It’s not every day that he has to explain himself to Kazuha, usually she gives him the benefit of the doubt, goes along with his decisions.

Now however, she wants answers. And… Heiji isn’t sure whether he’s got the capability to make her understand. Not fully, not… not in a way that will make Kazuha agree with what he’s done.

“Okay,” he tells himself, “you can figure this out.”

He’s not sure where Aoko or Ran have gone, which… is difficult on his end – he knows from the looks Aoko keeps giving him that she’s suspicious. Especially with him being early to the police station on the same day Kudo and Kuroba have broken in… Hell, he’d find it suspicious as well, if he were her.

At least Ran isn’t suspicious – Heiji can see that there’s a degree of influence there. Had seen the way she and Hakuba had worked together. They won’t get suspicious because of the phone call… He’s glad he’d changed his mind on the second call, the sudden burst of inspiration that he might need an alibi if anyone came asking.

He’s smart about that, at least.

Stepping into the CCTV room is chilling.  Kazuha drags her gaze to meet his, lips pursed, and offers him a small glare. Her headphones dangle from where she’s threaded them up through her jumper, abandoned, just like Heiji’s phone that she’s left on the table.

“Kazuha listen-”

She shakes her head, raises a hand to stop him before he can start explaining and says, “this really isn’t th’ place. We’ll go somewhere else.”

Heiji bites his lip – a police station isn’t really a smart place to explain why he’s aiding two high profile criminals, he knows. But then, he doesn’t know whether it’s a smart idea to just leave before working on the case.

Kazuha however turns, points a finger at one of the CCTV screens. The camera shows Inspector Nakamori squinting down at Kuroba’s heist notice, barking out orders. At first, there’s a blankness, Heiji having no idea what he needs to say. Then, it clicks.

“The gemstone. If we go there, we can say we’re planning counter strategies, while I can explain…” He says.

Kazuha nods, crosses her arms over her chest and pulls at the ribbon in her hair, adjusting the bow until it looks perfectly symmetrical. Heiji doesn’t know how she does it without looking in the mirror, but she manages it.

“And… Kudo-kun… If he’s innocent, he’ll come convince me too.”

Kudanshita station is busy. Busy enough that Kaito reckons they can blend into the crowd pretty easily as long as they ditch the disguises – he’s glad at least that he’d left a bag hidden inside the station when they’d shown up.

He doesn’t stop the bike the way he usually does, and he knows Shinichi will be angry about any damages, but the instant they reach the station, he pulls the handlebars down to the side, lifts his feet up to the seat and rides the pavement until the bike comes to a stop.

The force throws him forward, not overly so, but enough to give him the right momentum to keep running.

He’d shouted to Shinichi as they’d been riding their bikes that they’ll have to meet on Platform 5, where he’s hidden their other disguises, and right now, he surges forward, not thinking about whether Shinichi’s abandoned his own bike or has rested it against a wall.

Morals, Kaito shakes his head at the prospect of never adapting them.

His feet dance across steps as he pushes his way past civilians, and Kaito takes off the ring he’s been wearing on his finger. He feels almost like he should be pulling off his mask, even though he knows his face is more well known than Detective Sato’s is. Frustrating, he thinks, and jumps the final step.

He has to climb down to the 4th basement level, races down the staircase as quickly as he can. He waits a minute for Shinichi to show, before turning on his heel and racing across to receive the bag he’s hidden. It’s in a small storage room that he’s had to pick the locks on, and Kaito quickly steps inside to change his disguise.

He pulls the disguise from his back, tears the mask of Detective Sato from his face – some of the mask sticks to his cheek and he grimaces as it pulls at the faint stubble he’s not gotten around to shaving.

Then, as quickly as he can, he discards Sato’s uniform, replacing the skirt for jeans and the blazer for a shirt and jacket. Then, throwing on a hat and a pair of glasses, he forces his way back outside of the room, carrying the bag he’d brought with him in an attempt to look for Shinichi.

He opens the door and is met with Detective Takagi.

Except, with the way his fingers curl in over themselves, almost as if protecting themselves from burns, he quickly realises it’s Shinichi.

“In here,” he hisses, and pulls Shinichi in by his tie, closing the door behind them. It’s a small room, and there’s not much space, but he manages to pull off the mask he’d applied earlier, revealing Shinichi's face.

“What were you thinking announcing a heist,” Shinichi hisses, as Kaito undoes his tie, pulling it off and throwing it into the bag. He seems to take offence when Kaito attempts to undo his shirt, shrugging him off and raising it over his head instead.

Kaito holds out a hoodie for him to throw on, before leaning forward and plucking a bit of mask that has stuck to his eyebrow.

“The police realised we were there,” Kaito replies, as he leans forward, adding a quick mask to Shincihi’s face, making his nose rounder and less sharp. He also pulls a eyebrow brush out, adjusting the shape of his eyebrows. Basic things for a disguise, he knows, but it’s the smaller things that help. “We needed a reason.”

“Yeah right,” Shinichi hisses, as he changes from trousers into a pair of jeans, the fabric ripped at the knees. Kaito adds a bandage to his cheek for extra effect, before forcing Shinichi into a wig and pulling his hood up. “You did it because you want to cause trouble.”

It’s not… entirely untrue.

There’s an element of truth in there, somewhere, but Kaito thinks that it’ll be better in the long run if they just overlook it.

“Listen,” Kaito says, as Shinichi changes work shoes for trainers, “as far as we know, your organisation have enough power to get you on death row. The crimes you supposedly committed… they weren’t enough for death row, and yet you still got it – if they can make that happen, then they obviously have people in the justice system.”

Shinichi glares, but it’s not as heated as before. There’s anger there. But not as much. Instead, he scratches at his neck and sighs.

Kaito continues, “And if they have people in the justice system, then you don’t want them to know why you were really there, do you. The heist note is a valid excuse.”

“You’re putting a target on your back…” Shinichi says, weakly, as they leave the room – and the bag – behind. They make their way over to the crowd, standing beside other students who’re travelling during the holidays.

“Oh please,” Kaito says, glancing out of the corner of his eye for any movement. He resists the urge to smile as he spots three detectives race out of the stair well: The real Takagi, followed by Inspector Megure. “I’ve had a target on my back for a very long time now.”

The detectives push through the crowd, and Kaito has to mutter under his breath for Shinichi to stop glancing over at them. It’s not long now, he knows, until the next train is due.

Megure takes another step in their direction – another detective bundles out from the staircase as the train pulls into the station.

The doors open.

Shinichi and Kaito manage to lose them in the crowd, blending in to the crowd of people who’ve just gotten off the train on their way to the stair well. It’s almost amusing, Kaito thinks, to walk right past the detectives who’re about to assume they’ve gotten onto the train.

They will be – but not from the platform they’re on.

“Come on,” Kaito says, as they reach the  second basement level, making their way to platform two,  where he’s anticipated the next train will be arriving any second. “We’ve got a train to catch.”

The text comes later, when Shinichi and Kaito have gotten off the train.

“It’s about Kazuha,” Kaito says, when they step off. He receives a blank look, as if there is no reason to bring up Toyama Kazuha, and Kaito thinks that maybe to the detective there isn’t. He hadn’t heard her voice on the other side of the phone. “She knows.”

Shinichi’s face drops. He doesn’t say anything as Kaito leads him right onto another train. His skin is pale, worry creasing his eyebrows but he doesn’t say anything.

“She’s giving Heiji an opportunity to explain his side of the story…” He adds, before looking up. He offers a supportive look – it’s not like all hope is gone, Kazuha knowing doesn’t leave them in any trouble only Heiji.

“But…?” Shinichi says, as they sit back on seats. He digs his nails into his neck, and Kaito wants to tell him to stop, but there’s nothing he can do to alleviate the other boy’s worry. It’s impossible. “There’s something else isn’t there?”

Kaito nods. “She wants to hear your side of the story as well.”

Shinichi seems to regain some of his colour – Kaito’s guessing that he’s caught on to Kazuha’s want to believe in Heiji’s decision. They’re obviously close then, Kaito thinks, for him to be able to have such sway over her.

That, and the fact that she’d been willing to help them escape.

“Where does she want to meet…?” Shinichi asks.

“Ueno station.” Kaito says. “It’s a short walk to the heist location from there.”

There’s a short nod. Then, Shinichi says, “Text Heiji that we’re on our way.”

Kaito sends the text, but lets a complaint rise on his tongue. If he goes, then he knows that Kazuha’s only going to remain conflicted – Shinichi, he knows, will be able to convince Kazuha that he’s innocent, mainly because he is. Kaito doesn’t know how he will, but there’s faith there, that the detective can convince her.

If he goes, he counteracts that. After all… He is guilty. He shouldn’t be walking around in freedom, he should still be inside the prison, no matter how boring and monotonous it was.

“You’re going alone.” Kaito says, when the he’s managed to send the text. It’s difficult with the service on the train, but he manages to send it when they’re in a station. “I need to go prepare for this heist.”

Shinichi frowns.

Kaito reads his look, fidgets in his seat. He taps his foot against the floor, a succession of anxious movements that only helps any awkwardness grow. He says, “I’m going through with it.”

“It’s a stupid idea.” Shinichi says, and he turns to look out of the window, teeth grinding in an attempt to remain calm. “They want you dead, don’t they?”

There is fear in his voice, and Kaito emphasises, even if he doesn’t share the emotion. There isn’t time for fear, not now – Being scared or hesitant will only hinder his search, and he can’t allow any of his emotions to restrain him.

“They do.” Kaito says, “Which is why I need to be prepared.”

Shinichi doesn’t say anything else on the subject. Instead he says, “where are you going?”

“After I leave you at Ueno station?” Kaito shrugs his shoulders, throws his poker face back on to throw away his upcoming anxiety. “Ekoda.”

The train ride to Ekoda feels like it drags.

From there, the walk to his house takes even longer, as if it’s stretching time through a loom, forcing him forward even if the clock hasn’t moved onward. There’s a moment, when he almost wants to break into a run, spurring himself forward until he reaches the old familiar block of houses he’s grown up exploring.

He needs to get into his house – back window will do. He can’t go in through the front door without gathering any unwanted attention, and as long as his mother hasn’t fixed the latch on the back window, he should be able to open it within seconds. His father’s secret room – KID’s room beckons him forward, and his mind scrambles in an attempt to remember every detail of it.

“Okay,” Kaito mutters to himself as he makes his way to the back of his house, to the small back garden. The grass is uncut – he doubts his mother’s done much in the way of maintenance since he’d been imprisoned. “Lets do this.”

The latch, as expected, is still broken, and Kaito pulls himself up, shimmying in through the window and across the kitchen counter. It feels nice, he thinks, to finally be home again.

He lets out a deep breath. Closes the window behind him, and decides that since he’s in a rush, his mother will forgive him for keeping his shoes on and not swapping them for slippers.

“What do I need…” He asks himself, making his way to the staircase, creeping upstairs. It’s a habit at this point, keeping quiet, silent. He forces himself to list everything inside his head: he’ll need his suit, his card gun. He’ll need his hand glider and-

And-

Kaito’s pretty sure he’s going to try and bring everything he’s got back to his safe houses. His home after all… He knows he won’t be able to return again. He’s already risking so much coming here now. But well, he’s already broken into a police station, why not go all the way?

His bedroom door is ajar, and Kaito pushes it open – slowly at first, to avoid the creak it usually sounds when it’s first opened, and then the rest of the way.

His eyes widen at the sight he sees.

“Aoko asked you to stay,” his best friend says, sitting on his bed. She’s frowning, looking down at her phone that lays in cupped hands. “When you didn’t, she thought she’d just have to track you down instead.”

#Yes I have an exam tomorrow afternoon #yes I wrote this as a form of procrastination #I really should take the whole Hiatus thing more seriously #but I missed this you know? #Long chapter by the way #almost 4.5k! #Holy shit XD #Fic: Cost of Freedom #Kuroba Kaito #Kudo Shinichi #Mouri Ran #Hattori Heiji #Nakamori Aoko #Toyama Kazuha #Takagi Wataru #Sato Miwako #Hakuba Saguru #is mentioned but he's not actually here again XD He'll be back soon #DCMK #mywriting

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Jeremy Bamber’s deluded cheerleaders are a disgrace – he IS guilty of monstrous White House Farm murders – The Sun

THE scene that greeted the police was one of almost unimaginable, blood-soaked carnage. Once officers had entered the remote Essex farmhouse on the morning of 7 August 1985, they discovered five murder victims, all of whom had been shot dead. 14 An emotional Jeremy Bamber at the funeral of his victims, where he was comforted by girlfriend JulieCredit: News Group Newspapers Ltd14 His crocodile tears are depicted in ITV’s upcoming show White House FarmCredit: ITVOne slumped body, that of a middle-aged man, had also been battered repeatedly with the butt of a rifle. In total, the killer had unloaded 25 bullets from a semi-automatic weapon during this lethal rampage. At first, the police suspected the culprit was one of the victims, Sheila Caffell, a former model with a long history of mental illness. According to their initial theory, she had been so deranged by a psychotic episode that she had gunned down her six-year-old twin boys, Nicholas and Daniel, as well as her adoptive parents Nevill and June Bamber, before she put the rifle to her own throat and pulled the trigger. This was a narrative that Sheila’s half-brother, 24-year-old Jeremy Bamber, eagerly relayed to the police. Indeed, on that fateful August night, Jeremy Bamber, who lived in cottage near his parents’ farm, had telephoned the local Essex station, telling them that his father had just rung to say Sheila had “gone beserk” with a gun. 14 Sheila Caffell and her twin sons Nicholas and Daniel died in the sickening shootingsCredit: Times Newspapers Ltd14 White House Farm was the scene of a bloodbath in August 1985Credit: PA:Press AssociationBut, as revealed in new ITV drama White House Farm, which begins this week, suspicion soon began to fall on Jeremy rather than Sheila. His champagne-fuelled hedonistic behaviour, featuring several holidays abroad, in the aftermath of the murders was not that of a grieving son, despite his dramatic tears at the funeral. He also had a clear motivation for the killing, since he stood to inherit his parent’s £436,000 farm. Moreover, the evidence piled up against him, including both incriminating testimony from an ex-girlfriend and the discovery in a cupboard at the farm of a rifle silencer with specks of Sheila’s blood on it. The silencer appeared to absolve Sheila. There was no way she could have lain on the ground, shot herself twice, then stood up, removed the silencer from the rifle, and hidden it away before she died. 14 Model Sheila ‘Bambi’ Caffell was the initial suspect in the killingsCredit: Rex FeaturesMonstrous barbarity With such an overwhelming case against him, Jeremy Bamber was duly convicted in 1986 and sentenced to 25 years. Later this was raised to a “whole life” term, which means that he will probably never be released. In fact, given his youth at the time of the killings, he may end up serving the longest sentence in British penal history. But that is no more than he deserves, given the scale of his monstrous barbarity. 14 Jeremy Bamber is driven to his trial in 1986Credit: Rex FeaturesHis is one of the most gruesome but compelling sagas in the annals of British crime, which is why the new ITV production should make for powerful viewing. The series stars Cressida Bonas as the vulnerable Sheila Caffell, while Bamber is played by the dashing Freddie Fox, who brings out the murderer’s mix of dark charm and cruel psychopathy. Sheila’s estranged husband Colin Caffell recently described Bamber as an “extremely seductive and charismatic person”, which helps to explain why he initially fooled the Essex police.Deluded campaign Yet he is still fooling people. Despite the strength of evidence against, there is a noisy campaign to have Bamber declared innocent. Peddling its propaganda through websites, social media, and left-wing journals, this deluded brigade argues that Bamber is the victim of a “miscarriage of justice.” He did not receive “a fair trial” because the proceedings against him were “highly irregular”, says the veteran human rights activist Peter Tatchell, while Eric Allison, patron of the official Bamber Campaign, calls the failure to release all the documents in the case “a shocking state of affairs.” 14 Cressida Bonas plays victim Sheila in the drama14 Freddie Fox as Bamber in White House Farm14 The wedding of Sheila Bamber to Colin Caffell, whose children were murdered at the farmCredit: AlamyBizarre conspiracies A vast range of conspiracy theories are said to be behind Bamber’s unsafe conviction, including a police cover-up, the greed of relatives angry at Bamber’s inheritance, the spite of his ex-girlfriend Julie Mugford, and shadowy political vested interests. This is all offensive nonsense. The campaign is not only a moral disgrace but also had not a shred of justification. It is shameful to see these zealots lining up behind a child killer whose defence is so threadbare and whose record is so evil. In 2002, when the Court of Appeal upheld the original verdict for the second time, the judges declared, “The more we looked into this case, the more likely it seemed that the jury was right.” Those words are just as correct today. 14 White House Farm as seen in the new drama seriesEven Bamber’s own shrill defenders admit that there are only two possible suspects: him or Sheila. But the idea that petite Sheila, who suffered from anorexia, was capable of such violence is laughable. She had no interest in guns, no experience of using them. Nor could she have got into a struggle with her 6 foot 4 inch tall father Nevill. Her feet, hands and nightdress were almost free of blood and gun residue, hardly indicator of someone who has been on a shooting spree. And even Bamber’s staunchest supporters have no convincing explanation for the discovery of the silencer, beyond the usual lurid claims that it was “planted.” 14 Jeremy Bamber still protests his innocence despite the evidenceCredit: Handout14 Mark Stanley as grieving father Colin Caffell’Afraid to turn back’ on Bamber On the other hand, Jeremy Bamber was used to handling guns, had an air of menace about him and harboured a deep hostility towards his adoptive parents. “I must never turn my back on him,” Nevill once said, fearing that “there might be a serious shooting.” Bamber planned the whole killing spree meticulously, from disconnecting the phones at the farm to stop any emergency calls to misleading the police at the scene with his talk of Sheila being “a nutter”. In fact, he eagerly told his girlfriend at the time, Julie Mugford, what he contemplated saying, “tonight or never,” as she later reported to the police. The “Bamber is Innocent” mob argue that Ms Mugford acted purely out of revenge, Bamber having dumped her soon after the murders. But it is highly unlikely that she would have risked a perjury charge in such a serious murder case on such an emotive basis. 14 Nevill and Juen Bamber were slaughtered alongside their daughter and grandchildrenCredit: Collect14 The bloody case left Britain in shockCredit: News Group Newspapers LtdChilling echoes of murderer Tellingly, the late Bob Woffinden, a forensic journalist with a record of fighting miscarriages of justice, used to think Bamber was innocent, but later became convinced of his guilt, after he researched the story in depth. “I am now certain that the murderer was indeed Jeremy Bamber,” Woffinden wrote in 2011. Those who still cling to the belief in a miscarriage of justice should remember the case of James Hanratty, who went to the gallows in 1962 for murder and rape in a lay-by off the A6 after he hijacked a car at gunpoint. PURE EVIL CCTV of UK’s worst rapist who attacked up to 195 victims prowling for men WINTER CHAOS Snow, torrential rain and 80mph gales from Iceland to hit Britain this week InvestigationPERVS’ PLAYGROUND Parents’ horror as kids as young as 8 are groomed by paedos on TikTok app TALCUM CHOWDER Mum spends £8k on addiction to eating BABY POWDER – and scoffs a tub a day BreakingFREEDOM IN SIGHT Ayia Napa Brit teen ‘to be PARDONED by Cypriot President’ after backlash DEATH FROM SPACE Australia wildfires image shows thousands of blazes raging across country For decades, there was a loud campaign to pardon Hanratty, who was portrayed by supporters as nothing more than a harmless petty crook. Yet in 2002, advances in DNA proved conclusively that Hanratty was in fact the A6 killer. The campaign for Hanratty had been utterly baseless.   If the ITV drama has any integrity, it will reinforce the same grim truth about Bamber. White House Farm airs on ITV from 9pm on Wednesday Trailer for Jeremy Bamber documentary Countdown to Murder about White House Farm killings in August 1985

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[hithisiseli]

Through cold sweats and the brain zaps I was pretty sure I had the whole dropping my nearly six-year run with Zoloft for Wellbutrin thing handled. I had a goofy grin on my face all day yesterday, happy to be out amongst the people, my favorite place to be. Sure, an invisible vice squeezed my heart, and it became difficult to take a deep breath, but I had work to do. Work I enjoyed. I just needed to push through until deadline. So that’s what I did. Look at all the lovely things I documented whilst barely able to breathe yet smiling because I love science and people and the outdoors.

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And 24 hours later I sat staring at what has to be the ugliest curtain ever made in the history of curtain-making. Did the designer take a photograph of a pile of puke, upload said photo, move the cursor just so, draw out the color hex and exclaim, “Yep, that’s the one. Right there, the beige with the pallor of death. Mark it.” And I was crying. And I couldn’t stop crying. I’d dropped Eli off to school late again. Late because his cough disappeared and then made a tiny resurgence, and I felt it was more important for him to rest than for us to drag him out of bed at 5 or 5:30 to start his physio/breathing treatments. Not until 10 a.m. did we get to school. And I didn’t feel right at all. The dull ache from yesterday was worse. My natural breathing pattern seemed shallow. I had to think about it and force my chest to move to get the oxygen. And I wondered if I should really go to work like this. And I started to cry. And I pulled into a parking lot, unable to stop crying. And my chest got tighter and it felt harder to breathe, which distressed me and I cried even more and harder. I felt humiliated even as I was alone, worried that someone would see this hysterical woman I did not recognize. I started texting my sisters. They thought I should call my doctor at least or go to the ER. Because I’m one week in to switching from 100 mg per day of sertraline ie Zoloft (a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors ie SSRI) to 150 mg of buproprion ie Wellbutrin. I’d started off the week weepy, then seemed to improve. But then I turned into a dragon lady who has slammed so many doors in the last few days it’s a wonder we have all of our fingers. I called my doctor’s office and got irritating ‘on hold’ music. I drove to the ER.

So I’m sitting there in this godawful  blue vinyl chair trying to stifle my weeping and a sympathetic nurse took note of the things I’d just experienced. The main thing was “Do you want to harm yourself or others.” No, I answered.

  Moments later in walked a doctor.  I spoke through tears. It was embarrassing. I couldn’t stop. Is there anything else going on, he asked. My son has an illness, I said. What illness, he asked. Cystic fibrosis, I said.

And he tried to comfort me and say that they’re getting people to live to 60 these days.

Things are getting better. But a lot of people die young or require lung transplants in their 20s. The median age of death is 29. Most die between 22 and 39. The median age of survival, 42. And none of that defines Eli.

Even so I can’t help but feel my little boy’s cough is going to morph into a worse infection and lead to a hospitalization that leads to a blood infection, a superbug, a hospital mistake that leads to a coma that leads to death. That may not be rational. But I live with this worst-case scenario and many others on low boil in the back of my brain.  I didn’t feel like explaining that to the doctor, nor did I really understand what set me off. I’d dropped him off at school. I was late for work. His school is lovely. I’d make up the time.I don’t want any tests, I told him. I’d had every kind of test run last week.EKG, Thyroid. Iron. On and on. Everything was normal. On paper.

I heard again from my friend Pam, who I spoke with on the phone in the ER right after learning that Eli had CF. She told me the plain and simple truth then, things like,  “You’re going to fight with stupid people.” She wrote to me on Monday kind words about my mental health story.

We  are fixers and we can’t fix this.

She encouraged me to find a therapist and never stop talking.

Whatever this just was interrupted that plan.

The discharge paperwork said “panic attack.”

I got home and called my dad again, tearfully confessing the most terrible thing I had said. Eli had been screaming at me, again and again over his shaking vest. “I don’t want to do my Vest! I don’t want to do my vest! Why do I have to do my vest!”

I have all kinds of inconsistent strategies for his anger. We throw pillows at each other. We play ‘crazy baby,’ a game during which I pretend to have found an adorable baby only to have him look at me with insane crazy eyes. I don’t know why this never gets old, but it never gets old. I let Eli beat the shit out of me while I strapped him in once, right in front of my sister, niece and nephew.  I’m fairly sure she was horrified, but I didn’t have the energy to respond in that moment. I give him choices of snacks and TV shows. I run and find a lollipop. I run and find a juice box.

“Why do I have to do my vest?”

“Because God damnit it’s keeping you alive”

The voice that seemed to come from some other person, not me, because I would never say such a thing to my sweet baby boy.

And he went so quiet, I told my dad. And it broke my heart. And these past few weeks he keeps telling me he’s worried about dying, and I think that’s my fault.

But I have to call my physician now, I said. And a therapist, like I had planned to do, before I had a panic attack.

            Bye SSRI: A panic attack Through cold sweats and the brain zaps I was pretty sure I had the whole dropping my nearly six-year run with Zoloft for Wellbutrin thing handled.