#despite holden trying to be as natural as possible

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

I'm glad my bookmark fell out and I lost my spot so I could experience my favorite page and a half of this book all over again

#leviathan wakes #the expanse #kee speaks #its so flipping funny #i like how they did it in the show too but the absolute snap realization amos has in this #despite holden trying to be as natural as possible #its hilarious

[citrinekay]

and I'd hate to fade alone

@bambikieren and I were talking about the pros and cons of S2 a few days ago, and we both agreed the richness of tension and relationship development between Bill and Holden would have been greatly improved by incorporating Holden's panic attacks. I said something along the lines of "their opposing personal traumas could have made them both feel as if they were alone in the investigation, their partnership from S1 abandoned." She suggested I write a fic about Holden calling Bill after a panic attack in Atlanta, so here it is:

A brief yet unsettling nightmare wakes Bill with a jolt. He was once again treading through the lightning dust to the basement of the house on Cimarron Court. It was pure daylight, full of warm sun. Then he reached the place where he’d witnessed the chalky shape of a cross laden with a toddler’s fragile form, but instead of a cleaned-out crime scene, he laid eyes on Brian hunched over a squirming figure.

Brian is a small kid - doesn’t look capable of anything violent; but behind Bill’s eyelids, he saw the worst possible version of what happened that day the boy died. His son - his own chosen child - smothering the life from the baby. In the dream, Brian looks up from the arduous task, his dark eyes gleaming with infernal impulse.

“Dad,” he says, calmly. “Is the fish dead yet?”

Bill is awake in the next instant, his heart thundering against his ribs and sweat itching in the creases of his armpits and down his back. His mouth is dry, tasting of the three beers he washed down before passing out on the couch.

It takes him a moment to convince himself it was a product of his mind encumbered by stress and fatigue and dread, and nothing more. When he gets his bearings again, he realizes that the clock on the wall isn’t indicating the afternoon but well past one o’clock in the morning. The only light Nancy had left on when she went to bed was the lamp beside the couch. The kitchen and dining area are draped in shadow, familiar fixtures undefined and murky and disconnected from his little pool of yellow light.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the couch, Bill sits up slowly with a groan, and scrubs his hands over his face. The next logical step is getting up from the couch to walk himself to bed where his weary heap of bones belong, but the lingering dread in the pit of his stomach keeps him chained in place.

He isn’t certain when coming home on the weekends from Atlanta began feeling like a second job, but the joylessness is inescapable. Facing Nancy with the noble reassurance that he’s trying to save the lives of children no longer seems feasible just like facing Holden with the lie that he’s dedicated enough to his family to be flying home every weekend for no other reason than to spend time with them had reached the end of it’s credibility.

Perhaps that’s why going back to Atlanta now seems like less work than coming home. In a few short months, his life had become a careful manipulation, a tight-rope walk of convincing everyone in Atlanta, Quantico, and here at home of a specific narrative. While in Atlanta, don’t mention Brian. While at home, don’t mention Atlanta. At Quantico, don’t mention either one. The drive to keep his stories straight burned exhaustion through him like a hot fuse. At least now he isn’t bold-faced lying to Holden.

Rousing himself from the couch, Bill grabs his cigarettes from the side table, and ambles into the darkness of the kitchen. He doesn’t bother to turn on a light as he finds the cupboard by memory, and fills a glass with water from the tap. He washes away the stale taste of beer, and when his throat is no longer aching, replaces it with the heat and nicotine of a cigarette.

Standing over the kitchen sink, he taps ashes down the drain, and studies the night sky beyond the window. Constellations emerge against a tapestry of black, unhindered by clouds. In the silence, despite Nancy and Brian sleeping only a few walls away, he feels utterly alone.

The shrill ring of the telephone jars him from his sinking malaise. He has little time to ponder just who the hell would be calling this late at night as he rushes to grab the receiver and stop it’s ringing from waking Nancy or Brian.

“Hello?”

Raspy, labored breathing rustles across the line, startling his defenses.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Bill …” Holden whispers, his voice low and trembling, nearly unrecognizable. “Don’t hang up.”

Instant worry seizes Bill’s chest, those hassled defenses migrating into protective alarm. “I’m not. Are you okay?”

He hears Holden swallow thickly.

“It’s so late. Did something happen?” Bill presses.

“I … No.” Holden’s hesitation shines dishonesty clearly through the affirmation.

“Then why are you calling me?”

Silence registers across the miles of phone line between them, but Bill can hear the slight hiccup in Holden’s breathing, the undercurrent of distress that he recognizes because he’s been feeling it bubbling up within his own chest for weeks.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s okay.”

Bill presses his eyes shut as the rushed reassurance rouses another bout of silence, this one rife with confusion.

“It is?” Holden asks, at last.

“Yeah, of course. Look, Holden, I know things have been … rocky between us lately, but I know you care about this case. I know it’s been hard on you.”

“And you,” Holden whispers, carefully.

Bill takes a drag of his cigarette, and steadily exhales smoke past pursed lips. The nicotine doesn’t have the calming affect he’s searching for. Despite his honesty last week, he and Holden haven’t spoken about what happened with Brian. Part of him knows they should, but as the prospect approaches now it twists the knot in his gut tighter.

“Yeah,” he mutters at length.

“If it makes you feel any better, you hid it incredibly well. I had no idea.”

“It doesn’t, but thanks.”

“Got any tips?” Holden asks, offering a hapless chuckle.

“What? For lying to everyone and pretending I’m fine?”

“Yes.”

“None that I’d wish on anyone … least of all a friend.”

Holden’s muted sigh is tremulous. “Are we still … friends?”

Bill adjusts his grip on the phone, and bends to brace his elbows against the edge of the counter. Staring down at the ashes dwindling into the sink, he tries to come up with a response that doesn’t make him the bad guy in this situation. His thoughts are nothing more than an empty roar, taken by exhaustion and panic.

“I want us to be. Is that good enough?” he asks.

“Yes,” Holden agrees, his tone perking up. “I can live with that.”

“Then I guess I should apologize for lying to you and pretending everything was fine.”

“Mhm.”

“So … I’m sorry.”

“Me too. If I’d known-”

“But you didn’t.”

“I could have been a better profiler. Instead, I’ve been completely wrapped up in my own shit. You know, I’ve never felt more alone than I do right now, surrounded by the dozens of people who are on this task force. God, I really miss those early days when it was just you and me on the road.”

Bill’s instinctive reply is, “why would you miss me?” But he bites it down because he misses Holden too, and maybe he’s still too burdened by pride to admit it.

“Those were the days,” he says, instead.

“We weren’t so alone then,” Holden sighs, then stifles a yawn.

“You sound tired. I should let you go.”

“No, it’s just … it’s the Valium sinking in.”

Bill chest flinches at the mention of medication, the insinuation it invites - that Holden’s first impulse after surviving a panic attack was to call him.

“Are you okay?” he asks once more.

“I guess I would be lying and pretending I’m fine if I said ‘yes.’”

“Probably.”

“It’s okay. You can ask me about it.”

Bill draws in a slow breath against buzzing nerves. This isn't them. They don’t ask each other personal questions or talk about it. Holden is floating out of reality on benzodiazepine and Bill is too morbidly curious about someone else’s pain rather than his own; but it’s late and they’re both loath to fade alone.

“Does it happen often?” Bill asks, softly.

“Hmm … yes. Not enough to impede me from doing my job, but more often than I’d like.”

“What triggers it?”

“Sometimes the obvious things - a bad dream, a bad thought, a crime scene, a smiling picture of a kid who I know is dead and died terribly. Sometimes nothing. It’s unpredictable - that’s in the nature of panic disorder.”

“But the Valium helps?”

“It does damage control.”

Bill nods, biting the inside of his cheek as he processes this information. What he’d said by the riverside lashes across the back of his mind, and it looks utterly cruel from this perspective.

“What does it feel like?” he asks, closing his eyes against the surroundings of the kitchen.

He waits with bated breath while Holden thinks. His lungs burn with anticipation as if to say “sell me your pain; let’s make a fair trade of it; you try on mine, I’ll try on yours.”

“It feels like … suffocating. Very slowly. My lungs hurt, my head hurts. I can’t think or breathe, and I feel very small and trapped and …”

“And what?”

“Helpless.”

“Sounds awful.”

“It is. Even if it only lasts a few minutes, I come out of it feeling like I ran a marathon. I’m exhausted for the rest of the day, but when I lay down, I can’t sleep. My mind races.”

“That’s why you called me?”

“Well, I couldn’t get up off the floor, but I could drag the telephone and the Valium off the nightstand,” Holden murmurs. “I wanted something to hold onto.”

Bill clenches his jaw as he imagines Holden lying on the hotel floor in his pajamas, his pallor white and clammy with sickness, his body trembling. He wants to say that if he were there now, he would leave his own room and come over, he’d pick Holden up off the floor. They could hold onto each other.

When he opens his eyes, however, he sees that he’s still standing in his dark kitchen, and the only warm body to hold onto within touching distance wants nothing to do with him right now.

“There isn’t much left,” he says with a grim chuckle. “For you to, you know … hold onto.”

“Because of what happened?” Holden asks, gingerly. “With Brian?”

Bill smothers his rising hackles. Holden opened the door by offering to talk about his panic attacks, but Bill had kicked it wide open by even asking the questions. Talking about Brian is quid pro quo. Now all that’s left is putting a price tag on his own pain.

“Ever since it happened, I’ve just been trying to hold everything together. Here at home, Quantico, down there in Atlanta. It’s like there isn’t enough of me to go around, and I keep cutting myself into smaller and smaller pieces, dividing them across the problems I need to control. You were right when you told me I was distracted, that I wasn’t there when I was there. Truth is, I can hardly focus on one thing. Every time I close my eyes or my thoughts wander just a little, it goes back there - to a baby dying, and my kid saying absolutely nothing about it to me or Nancy.”

Holden is quiet for a moment before breaching the invisible wall. “How did it happen?”

Bill inhales a steadying breath, and blinks against the sting at the corners of his eyes. “A group of them were playing in the park. They ended up over at the house Nancy is the realtor for. Things got out of hand. The older boys somehow suffocated the toddler. They put him in the basement of the house, but … they didn’t just leave him. They - well Brian - he-”

“What did he do?” Holden asks, his tone lacking condemnation but rather perking with twisted curiosity.

“There was some old flooring in the basement. They made it into a cross, laid the baby across it like … like he was Jesus, and he was going to somehow fucking rise from the dead. It was all Brian’s idea. It was …”

Holden’s breathing quickens against the line. “God, Bill-”

“How do I reconcile that? How do I fucking forgive him? It was weeks before they found him, Holden. Brian left a baby lying there for weeks, and said nothing. I mean what the hell is wrong with someone who does something like that?”

“Maybe he was scared-”

“No, he knows he can come to us. We’ve never mistreated him, hit him, yelled at him. Never once made him think he couldn’t talk to us.”

Holden falls quiet.

The silence over the line thickens, and pretense falls away. Bill can hear the normal reassurances splinter. Holden studies the mind, and he understands darkness. He can read Bill’s fears even from across the country - and he recognizes their validity.

“You think he didn’t feel anything?” Holden asks. “That he’s just like the subjects in our study.”

Bill’s throat chafes with mounting emotion. He hasn’t dared admit it to himself, but it is what he thinks. It haunts his every nightmare.

“Yes,” he whispers.

“Bill, we don’t know everything. Especially when it comes to children. Remember when we talked about intervention, and we wondered if somewhere along the line, something could have been done to stop these men from killing?”

“Yes.”

“This is the time to do something. Get him help. Nothing is written in stone.”

Bill rubs his eyes hard. “You really believe that?”

“Aren’t we beholden to at least try?”

Try. Yes, all he has done for the last few months is try, but that is the god-forsaken truth of the human condition. Trying, and trying, failing and trying. Learning one or two things along the way. It’s inescapable.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

“You’re welcome.”

They sit in silence for a long moment.

It feels better with some of the weight off Bill’s chest. He imagines it will be back in the morning. All the more reason not to hang up.

Holden yawns softly against the receiver, his rustling breath prickling down Bill’s spine. He presses the phone closer to his ear, and waits for the indolent moan at the end. When it comes, low and throaty, it doesn’t last nearly long enough.

“Tired?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“Wanna go to bed?”

“No. Do you?”

“No. We can keep talking.”

“Okay. About what?”

“Something else,” Bill suggests, angling for a lighter tone. “Something not so fucking depressing.”

“Okay. Here’s something.” Holden’s voice takes on an impish tone. “A few weeks ago, I threw your betting sheets out the window of the car.”

“What?” Bill asks, a choked laugh fighting its way past the calcified emotion in his chest. “I wondered where those went.”

“You weren’t talking to me then. Christ, that makes me sound bitchy doesn’t it?”

“Yep. It does.”

“Fine. But since when do you bet on ponies?”

Bill bites his lower lip. This conversation isn’t heavy enough for honesty, at least not yet. It isn’t important for the truth that he hadn’t been interested in racing until Ted Gunn plopped the analogy in his brain right next to the trigger points that are Holden.

“Not long,” he says. “Just something to distract myself. Mindless entertainment.”

“With a price tag.”

“Everything has a price tag. It’s just a matter of scale.”

“What’s the price tag on this conversation?”

“Nothing. It’s an even trade.”

Holden hums something indistinct.

“What?” Bill asks. “You want me to take something from you?”

“Or I could take something from you.”

“You already took my betting sheets.”

Holden laughs, softly. “I did. Okay, what do you want?”

Bill’s levity disappears into a panicked, heady ether. Before Atlanta, he’d often wished for Holden to say those exact words for him; then his world came crashing down, and those wayward thoughts were available to blame for his own lack of dedication to his family. Holden was an easy target for a rage he doesn’t have the will to hold onto anymore.

“I want you to take care of yourself,” Bill says, finally. “Get some rest.”

Holden sighs, unhappily. “It is almost two o’clock.”

“Exactly. I’ll be back tomorrow. We can talk then if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, as long as we can both keep our eyes open. This surveillance is killing me.”

“Don’t worry. We’re going to get him. If not tomorrow, then the next night.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Well …. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Bill.”

They linger a moment longer before muttering further goodbyes. When the phone hits the cradle, a deep and abiding silence replaces the hiss of static across the line and the warm cadence of Holden’s voice. Outside the window, the stars are the same even as time marches forward, dragging him towards an inevitable precipice. It’s some small comfort that he won’t be making that fall into the abyss alone.

#bill x holden #mindhunter #my writing

[viktorhargreves]

some thoughts i have on the s2 promo stills

I think Ben is appearing either in a dream or to someone other than Klaus. The reason I believe this is the color composition for the shot and the framing. The Umbrella Academy is a dark show. Literally. And the season two promo pictures are no different from season one. Why the sudden departure from this? Promotional photos directly from the source (i.e. the production department) usually are not put through filters so this is how it will be shown in the show. So why the brightness? I think it’s either a dream or revelation (you know the cheesy trope where the sunlight streams in and someone finally pieces things together) or maybe it’s a vision that someone has of Ben. Contenders for this? No idea. But judging from the body that’s strung up on the ceiling (yeah, I didn’t forget that part) it could be Vanya. Or I could be totally wrong. Either way, the body does hint towards Klaus’ telekinesis, something he has in the comics that we have yet to see in the show (besides the suitcase debacle). 

We know that Five is the last to be sent to the 60′s so if he’s stuck in a new time with no one around what does he do? Find a mannequin and make a new friend (or something more). Maybe what we are seeing is him about to home-wreck this bitch and steal little miss blue-dress here. Or maybe he’s looking back at a different character... the villains of this season perhaps? Or maybe The Handler makes a comeback? Either way, he looks cautious and if he is looking at someone less than savory then the set up we see could be set up to mock him rather than a harmless department store display.

The paper reads: “S.J.C.C. asks... Have you experienced DISCRIMINATION by your employeer?” Not much comes up in Google for a look into who S.J.C.C. could be but I personally am SYKED to see The Umbrella Academy hopefully tackle race issues. Especially at this time in the world, it could be what people need. Also a new hairstyle for Allison which I love. I personally hope Allison is thriving but this is the 60′s and even though The Civil Rights Act was signed in ‘64, there was no across-the-board stop of segregation at once. I hope for her sake she stays safe.

Again, we know that Five is the last one to arrive. Perhaps he gathers them all to this place to tell them about the newest apocalyptic event about to take place. But a barn? Not sure why. Everyone else is dressed in back, however, even Klaus which is very telling that something is wrong. Allison has lost the hair bump (she was probably just wearing it to fit in). Luther has a beard which is very telling as well because the only other time that we have seen him with one is when he woke up from his surgery (supposedly after a long period of time) so if it was in his control he would shave it off to be the good little soldier that dad made him. Maybe being stranded in Texas in the 60′s made him depressed like we saw towards the end of season one or maybe he just wants to live a little. Diego’s outfit looks very similar to his vigilante outfit in season one but with what looks like either shoulder pads or a hoodie. This could be one of two things: he is still a vigilante using his powers for good, or he works a job like construction or something similar judging by the cross-chest harness. And Vanya. Look’s like she’s wearing a suit jacket. Peak gay. No further comment. 

GOOD GOD!!!  What to say, what to say. As it’s been pointed out already by many other users, Ben. Is. Holding. Keys. That means he is corporeal and has a physical body. Whether this is for a short period of time like when he punches Klaus in season one or if this marks the beginning of a new era of Ben-filled The Umbrella Academy is unknown. Klaus is a fashion icon. That much we been knew. Although, his beard is longer than the promo pictures despite being in the same outfit. Longer than the picture above too. I’m excited for this scene regardless of what it is about, but if I had to guess: Klaus is motioning for Ben to give the keys to him. The car broke down. Klaus gets out and tries to fix it by popping the hood, only he knows nothing about cars. He gets angry and throws the keys. Ben catches them. Klaus is then irritated and asks for them back. That’s just my take. Klaus looks like he’s smiling but it could be the natural face a person makes when they are squinting from the sun (this is Texas and those are sunglasses (also water is wet)).

#justgirlythings. Vanya is the only one who seems uncomfortable, also where are Klaus’s shoes? If you look in the background it appears this isn’t a salon as you would guess on the first look but rather someone’s house. Maybe this is a way to time travel without Five? Or some other sci-fi device like the shoot that Cha-Cha and Hazel used in season one to get their orders. Either way, there is a lot more going on here than we know from first looking and I wouldn’t put it past anyone that this is an important still to remember and keep in mind.

Iron Man references aside (thank you Justin Min), look at her entire body posture and language. Clenched jaw, clenched fists, forehead straining, eyes closed but not clenched like the others, neck straining. Vanya appears to be in the middle of nowhere so maybe she’s testing her powers? Last time we saw her testing her powers it was in the middle of the woods with Leonard so maybe this will be a good parallel. What else to do in the 60′s when you’re stranded than to try out your superpowers that you just remembered a few days ago?

Vanya! Is! Happy! She is definitely smiling and looks genuinely more happy than she did with Leonard in any event. The blonde woman is Marin Ireland who plays a character “Sissy”. Variety and Netflix have stated that Sissy is "a fearless, no-nonsense mom from Texas who married young for all the wrong reasons". Maybe, and I’m just spit-balling here, she married young because of internalized and outward homophobia that is probably rampant in the 60′s and in Texas. She meets Vanya and the two begin a relationship. Friends? Lovers? More? Vanya’s right hand is either on a gear shift (manual transmission i.e. stick shift cars were much more common in the 60′s than now) or on Sissy’s knee. I like the idea of her resting her hand on Sissy’s thigh and smiling, maybe driving off on a new life together. 

Like. The Gang’s all here, Scoob. Even Ben! Allison is talking, it seems so to have Ben in the shot is odd. Usually Ben only appears when Klaus is the main character of the shot or the scene since he can only see him. Except, maybe everyone can see him!! Klaus can summon Ben as seen in the season one finale so maybe he was able to do it for a longer amount of time. I personally really hope that we see more of Ben (which the stills lead me to believe) and that they will develop not only his character and backstory more but his powers as well. His power rivals only Vanya’s is sheer amount of destruction it can cause. The room, however, where they all are looks unassuming. It could be where Five has taken up a residence, could be a house of one of the other siblings (we know that some of them did in fact settle down and start lives in Texas), or maybe it’s just a safe place to meet as a team. Either way I am psyched!

It’s safe to assume that these are the assassins. Whether they are with the organization that The Handler was with is unclear. What is clear is that I get Stranger Things vibes from these guys. It might be the white hair and dark, cloudy road. Either way, these guys are played by Tom Sinclair, Kris Holden-Ried, and Jason Bryden left to right and they play Oscar, Axel, and Otto respectively. 

Diego, Diego, Diego. My son. Disregarding the long hair and beard completely because I refuse to acknowledge it at this point, here is my interpretation of the scene. This is a flashback in the same fashion that we had a Diego flashback in episode three of season one. That flashback had Grace helping Diego through a stutter and then in one camera motion showed current-day Diego sitting on his old bed. This could be the same kind of thing, with current-day Diego sitting where he past self was and watching a scene unfold around him. Why else would he be in his uniform? How could it fit? How could he be back in the mansion?

-----------

That’s all I have to say about it for now but my ask box is OPEN for theories, possible explanations, or hypotheses on season two or any of the promotional stills. Time travel is messy. Let’s see what happens on July 31st.

#the umbrella academy #tua #tuaedit #netflix #netflixedit #i was not paid to do this lmao #mine #mine:headcanons #shows #rm #tua spoilers

[girlonthelasttrain]

Dear femslashex creator,

Thank you in advance for making something for me in the Femslash Exchange, and also for bringing more f/f content into the world! I can’t wait to see what you’ve come up with. I’m girlonthelasttrain on AO3 too; feel free to browse my bookmarks to see the kind of things I gravitate towards. If you're writing/drawing for a Star Trek ship, feel free to take a look at my Trek sideblog as well.

My likes and DNWs are a bit different depending on whether you're making art or writing fic, and also depending on the fandom; I'll try to be as clear as possible and highlight the difference where necessary.

In any case the short version is:

Do Not Want

No smut, gore, extreme violence, alternate settings AUs (by this I mean things like 'Modern AU', crossovers, and similar). These are all hard nos.

I'd also rather not receive a work that has marriage/pregnancy/kids as the central concept(s). In fic they can be mentioned but they should not be the main point.

For fic, I'd also rather not receive pure fluff, though it's not as hard a no as the previous points (ie, if you can't think of anything else to write and risk defaulting please don't stress too much about this request).

Also for fic (or in case, comics), if a character is canonically involved with someone else I'd prefer to not see a cheating/infidelity story. I'd much rather see the conflict be resolved through polyamory or a breakup. No explicit character/ship bashing either please; good-natured jokes however are fine.

For art, fluff/sweet moments are perfectly fine, but the hard nos above still apply.

Things I like

For fic, in general I like character moments (especially characters coming to terms with their past/an aspect of themselves with the help of the other person in the ship), slow realizations of attraction and/or romantic feelings for the other person, missing scenes, post-canon (and in-between canon) speculation, seeing characters and the relationship between them changing throughout the years. Canon divergence AUs of the 'what if...' kind are usually something I like as well. In my various sci-fi fandoms I always love a good 'away mission together' situation. Most of all I like the character's personalities, quirks, and especially their flaws coming through in the narrative! Also, despite my no-fluff policy, the story doesn't need to have a plot to appeal to me, so don't worry about plot too much. Finally, trans headcanons and/or noncanonical pronouns for the characters involved are very welcome!

For art, I'm afraid I can't be as specific because I'm not an artist myself! To parallel my writing likes, I really enjoy fanart that captures a specific moment between two people (it can be serious, funny, sweet, melancholic, sad... you decide), but honestly I like all sorts of fanart depicting my favorite ships. I place some importance on character likeness and getting the details right, but honestly if done with intent I'm down for whatever change you want to make to character design (one classic example of this, if you're familiar with Star Trek, is giving Kira Nerys and Seven of Nine a better and more functional uniform). Again though, don't stress too much about this!

Under the cut I'm going to put more specific DNWs/requests for each fandom.

Star Trek DS9

(fic) I have a bit of a pet peeve regarding how much Garak/Bashir is present in DS9 f/f fics. If you want to reference the pairing in passing it's fine, but if either Garak or Julian are in your fic I'd really, really prefer if whatever is going on between them didn't get more than said passing mention.

(fic/art) For Ezri/Kira, I'd like there to be conflicting feelings regarding their attraction to one another; this is one of those ships where fluff doesn't really do much for me. I'd also really appreciate if what you make was set a few years post-canon, but that's up to you.

Star Trek Voyager

(fic/art) For Seven/B'Elanna, I'd like for you to not reference that scene in "Infinite Regress" where Seven bites B'Elanna, unless you're going to frame it as both as assault (with B'Elanna as the victim) and a violation of Seven's bodily autonomy. It's the only interpretation of that scene I can stomach, sorry.

Star Trek TNG

(fic/art) For Deanna/Toreth, I for one love a good rivalry with a Romulan... I also like referencing some obscure parts of Romulan canon in my own fic (I find that hand-kissing can be super hot, for example) but take this just as a humble suggestion.

The Expanse

(fic/art) I'm relatively new to the fandom therefore I haven't yet developed a taste for the kind of fan content I like for any of the ships I requested, so feel free to go wild! One thing I can say is that I care about Naomi, Camina and Bobbie very very much, so I just want... good things for them? (preferably without much mentioning of James Holden, whom I don't really like whoops)

Hades

(fic) I love the idea of getting into the nitty-gritty stuff with Nyx/Persephone, exploring all the reasons why they maybe really aren't... very well suited for one another (I think their personalities and character flaws could clash very easily!) but in the game they both hold a sort of devotion for the memory of the other. I'd be really happy if you found a way to explore that tension!

Teixcalaan Series

(fic/art) Mahit/Three Seagrass is one those ships where I don't necessarily want to see them working out their differences? "A Desolation Called Peace" really drove home how their big of a gap there is between them. I think I'd be happiest with 'one last time together' type of story here, to get some closure. This is, however, only a suggestion!

#dear creator letter #femslash exchange #femslashex 2021

[lilrexsoka]

Here you all are! (Three hundred followers has been achieved, as well. Cool.) :)

Tumblr Fic #1- Rexsoka Pregnancy- Part 11- Secrets Lost

“I don’t think you are supposed to be here, Commander.” The Togruta smiled slyly as her mate slipped into her room, quiet despite the layers of his armour.

Rex smirked and quietly closed the door behind him. “Maybe. But it was finally my turn on guard duty.”

Ahsoka’s troops had been spending their past few days in the city of Tophen on Christophsis in the crystalline palace, assisting Senator Gemsai as a stabilizer while major changes came to the planet’s politics. The troops followed to both provide protection to their General, as well as to the Senator and her followers. All this meant was Ahsoka was missing her mate terribly as she was kept from seeing him. “I stayed up to wait for you.”

The clone chuckled and guided her into the provided bed, laying her down and smirking into her beautiful face. “Bad girl. The baby needs sleep too.”

She gasped in mock hurt and tapped him teasingly. “I will. I just sleep better with you.” Ahsoka grinned until her mate smothered it with his lips, melting her as always in his comforting presence and touch.

The Togruta eventually convinced him to give up his guarding duty and strip to his blacks, lending to a much easier sleer for both of them. Ahsoka laid above the covers for a while with her mate pressed against her, his head resting beside her swollen stomach which had stuck out between the gifted silk pyjamas, ear against the stretched skin. She lightly ran her nails over his scalp and through the sun-dyed fuzz, listening contently as he murmured to the growing life inside of her.

“You’re going to be so lucky to have Ahsoka as a mommy.” Rex rubbed her abdomen softly, pressing light kisses in between his whispers. “She’s the smartest, prettiest, bravest and most talented Jedi in the Galaxy. She’s funny, and kind, and possibly the best friend a man could ever have.”

Ahsoka felt tears well up behind her eyes. This man was so amazing. She didn’t know what she would have done without him.

The clone continued, practically the entire right side of his face plastered against her body, as if he was trying to hear the heartbeat again. “You’re going to love her, just like I do.” Suddenly, Rex jerked his head back, his expression flashing with confusion, then wonder.

“What?” His mate sat up further, the markings above her eyes lifting.

Rex chuckled lowly and smoothed his palm over the area of her stomach his head had been resting on. “Didn’t you feel that?”

She giggled nervously. “No?”

The clone pressed his ear back up against her rounded stomach and seemed to wait. Eventually, he gasped, “There! It did it again! The baby is moving!”

His giddiness amused her and she grinned. “Are you sure? It could just be-“

“I’m sure,” Rex insisted. “I felt and heard it bump against your side.” He pressed his lips to her skin, as if attempting to kiss his unborn child. “Are you trying to say hi to mommy and daddy?”

Ahsoka sighed lovingly and stroked her mate’s back with one hand, her belly with the other. She couldn’t express how much she loved him. “I’m sure he’s trying to tell you that he wants to go to sleep.” The Togruta snickered as the clone crawled back up to her and smirked into her face.

“You could have just said so.” He playfully hooked his arms under her back and pulled the sheets around her. Once she was safely tucked under the silk blankets, he slipped under with her.

Ahsoka immediately tucked into his side, squirming around until she found the perfect spot for her distended stomach. Rex curled his arms around her and lay there, hand placed protectively on the spot where their child grew.

This was their routine when they had the chance. By now, it was familiar, but yet still the favourite part of their night.

“Goodnight, Rex. I love you.”

“Goodnight, ‘Soka. I love you so much.” She felt him tap her stomach under the covers. “Goodnight, son- or daughter- of ours.”

The Togruta smiled into his shoulder. He was a good man, and would make an amazing father.

——

“Feels good to be back in the stars, General?” Admiral Tashen asked once Ahsoka and her men walked onto the bridge. The political assistance had helped Christophsis for the better, but now it was finally time to leave Senator Gemsai so they could continue with another mission.

The General nodded deftly. “Of course, Admiral. I’m always glad to return to you.” She winked teasingly and thoroughly enjoyed the laugh she pulled from him.

“So, what’s next on the agenda, Tashen?” Rex asked, stopping beside the General.

The Admiral leaned forward to turn on the holotable. “We will be heading to Joshal next, to assist the refugees that are being driven from their homes by extremists.” He brought up an image of the planet, which was quickly followed by a recording of a human woman, pleading for help in a language that was translated below her face.

“Joshal?” Jesse spoked up, his eyes flaring. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“It’s wild,” both Kix and the Admiral told him at the same time.

Tashen shot him a look but continued. “It’s an under-developed planet, but it’s people are still part of the Republic, and they need our help.” He switched off the projection smoothly. “We’ll be stopping at Arcadis station to resupply before beginning the journey to the Holden System.”

“You can’t go, General Tano,” Kix blurted again, leading every pair of eyes on the bridge to train on him. The clone medic rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Ahsoka sighed and gestured to him as she slowly strode past, making sure to include her Commander by tapping his pauldron. “Follow me, Kix, and explain why.” She didn’t particularly want to begin an argument in public, and she was ready to sit down. Pregnancy had done terrible things to her back.

“Let me explain,” the medic began once they found the first private room they could find, which just so happened to be one of the medical bays. “I’ve done some research on exotic planets, and Joshal is certainly exotic.” He continued as Ahsoka heaved herself into a chair and listened carefully, Rex watching from a shorter distance away. “There are these insects on this planet that carry a dangerous disease. It doesn’t do anything to most people, but it can affect women who-“ He cut himself off with a ragged cough. “-Who are bitten.”

Ahsoka lifted the markings above her eyes, suspicious. “Uh huh. Well, I’ll try not to get bitten. Thank you, Kix.”

Kix didn’t give up. Instead, he began to grow frantic. “Please, just listen to me, General. I think it will be best if you stay behind this mission, just for your safety.”

“Kix,” the Togruta sighed. “Just tell me the real reason.” She was already guessing his point when she heard footsteps and then, a door sliding open.

“Sorry to eavesdrop,” the man, a young Coruscanti medic, began, “But I have to disagree. I had a grandparent who was from Joshal, and the Tinxes don’t harm healthy women. But they could cause a risk to unborn children.” He shrugged and sipped his cup of caf.

Rex growled. “Trooper. This is a private conversation.”

The young medic’s eyes flared and he took a step back. “Oh, sorry. I hadn’t-“ He cursed under his breath and rapidly backed out.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, though incompetent shinies wasn’t her biggest concern at the moment. “Enough of this. How did you know, Kix? Was it obvious?”

The Medic groaned and buried his face in his hands, sinking down into his own chair. “Er… a little. Some of the older clones, including I and Jesse, noticed. And… uh… we started betting.”

“Of course you did.” Rex paced closer and stood face to face with his medic, fists curling protectively. “Now, I’d like you to come up with an excuse. Anything that can keep Ahsoka’s secret for a little longer. I want you to stop all betting.” The clones exchanged a long glare, seeming to study each other until Rex eventually broke the silence. “You’re certain, aren’t you? Coric told you.”

Kix shook his head rapidly, but his stuttering gave him away and the gig was up. He sighed heavily. “Yes, but it was necessary! Coric wanted someone who could keep an eye on the General, someone who knew enough about pregnancies!” He winced, as if he was afraid his brother would hit him.

“It’s okay, Rex,” Ahsoka told her mate, gently guiding him away from the medic. I guess this is just the excuse I needed. “Coric was probably right.” She gathered her courage and a deep breath before murmuring, “I think we should tell everyone now anyway.”

Rex sighed, apparently very relieved. “I agree. Since the boys are already speculating. It wouldn’t be long before they figured out the truth.”

“Thank you,” Kix breathed. He laughed nervously. “Takes a lot of stress off of me.”

The Togruta ran her hands down her mate’s arms and inhaled shakily. This was going to be the beginning of what she feared. Before long, more than just her men and her master would know about her pregnancy. “Okay… should we tell them now?” She’d waited long enough.

Rex shrugged, but Kix interrupted him. “It’s up to you. But I wasn’t joking, you probably should not step onto the surface of Joshal. Just to be safe.” He arched his eyebrows and jabbed his thumb at the door behind him. “That shiny was right.”

“I believe you.” Ahsoka touched her stomach through the fabric of her robes as she spoke. “And this time, I’ll listen. For the baby’s safety.” She saw the relieved expressions on both the clone’s faces and decided that she had made the right choice.

Now, all that was left was to reveal their relationship- and their pregnancy- to the clones and natural-borns on the cruiser. This will be fun.

#rexsoka #Lilrexsoka’s Fics #rexsoka fanfiction #rexsoka fanfics #rexsoka fanfic

[inhale-fandoms-exhale-asdfghjkl]

Starkid Musicals Ranked

So I know I've done this before but it was quite a while ago and Black Friday has come out now so naturally I've had some changes in opinion. Also I've got nothing else better to do in self-isolation and I had plenty of time so i thought why the hell not. 

I’m sorry for the fact that this post drags on a bit. I just really love Starkid if that’s not already obvious. Please keep in mind I wrote this at 3am so if it’s riddled with spelling errors or doesn't make sense, please bear with me.

This time I wanted to be really thorough in how i ranked the shows so i went through a few processes. 

First I ranked each of the shows based on the writing, music, production, humour, costumes and the cast’s performances (which is really just criteria that makes a show great for me personally). For each category i gave them a score out of 10 which I then added up and each show what given a score out of 60. 

The results of this were:

Hmb (53/60)

AVPS, Starship, Twisted (52/60)

AVPM & Black Friday (47/60)

The Trail to Oregon (46/60)

TGWDLM (45/60)

AVPSY & ANI (44/60)

MAMD (37/60)

Firebringer (35/60)

To be honest, i was quite surprised by some of these scores. Some shows were way higher or lower than i though they’d be but some were pretty accurate. However, i didn’t think these scores alone really reflected my actual personal opinions of these shows as a whole. There were a few shows with the same scores so I tried to figure out a way to kind of rank them by personal taste while still using the scores. Really all I did was I ranked the ones with tied scores.

HMB

Twisted

Starship

AVPS

AVPM

Black Friday

The Trail to Oregon

TGWDLM

AVPSY

ANI

MAMD

Firebringer

Now I definitely thought this list was much more accurate but I still felt a few shows were out of place. In particular, HMB. A good portion of the reason of why it got such a high score is purely for my love of the costumes. Therefore, I pretty much abandoned all the previous work I did and then just listed them based on my personal enjoyment of each show which actually isn’t too different. Because at the end of the day, no matter how high I score a specific criteria for a show, that doesn’t necessarily mean I enjoy other aspects of the show equally.

For each show, I go into a pretty lengthy description of things I love about the show, commenting on the writing, music, production, humour, costumes and the cast’s performances. I also give provide an MVP for each show which is just a specific cast member or two’s performances that I particularly like to or stood out to me. I also give my favourite song and scene of each show. 

Also this is just MY personal ranking of each show based on things that I do or don’t enjoy about them. I absolutely love every single one of these shows, don’t confuse me being a little critical with some of them as hate or disrespect. Please understand that these are my opinions, which I am allowed to have just like you and I ask you to respect them even if you disagree just like I would respect yours. 

So without further ado, this is my final ranking of Starkid’s musicals:

1. Twisted

In my eyes, this show is quite possibly the closest thing you will ever get to perfection. Whether it’s the soundtrack (BLESS YOU AJ HOLMES AND YOUR RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING SONGWRITING SKILLS) or the acting (DAMN YOU DYLAN SAUNDERS FOR MAKING ME CRY SO MUCH, IT’S REALLY NOT FAIR) or just Nick and Matt’s writing which let’s be honest is always amazing. This show perfectly balances both the comedy and dramatic elements of the story, which if I’m being truly critical, not every Starkid show does. It’s a ridiculously beautiful, heart-warming show but it never takes itself too seriously. It has this amazing ability to have you both laughing and crying at the same time. Aladdin is one of my favourite Disney movies and I have to say it’s an amazing adaptation, it’s legitimately better than Disney’s live action remake in my opinion. Like all of their adaptation/parody shows, Starkid is able to stay true to the original text while also making it their own which I think is what make their shows so unique and refreshing.

MVP: I mean I gotta go with Dylan Saunders. I know it’s an obvious choice but how can I not. I mean I can’t believe it took them five years before they have Dylan a lead role because let’s be honest he’s amazing and he absolutely nailed this fucking role. Not only does he perfect every single one of those heart wrenching monologues/scenes but like his comedic timing is perfect. But Jeff, Joe and Rachael are definitely honourable mentions.

Favourite Song: IF I BELIEVED. If you don’t believe this is the best song on the soundtrack then you can bloody fight me, alright. I’m getting emotional just thinking about this song, just imagine when I listen to it or worse, when I watch the scene.

Favourite scene: I really love the entirety of Twisted with all the other Disney villains but literally any scene with Achmed is very fun to watch.

2. Starship

So I explained this in my original ranking post but I’m going to say it again. This show holds an extremely special place in my heart. It was the first Starkid show I watched after initially joining the fandom through AVPM and AVPS. I honestly couldn’t tell you what my favourite thing about this show is or why I love it so much, I just do. This show was my favourite show (until Twisted was released) and I would literally watch it over and over again. I love the music, I love the writing, and I love every single one of the cast’s performances. I legit have almost close to zero critiques on this show. It’s one of Starkid’s best written and produced productions (I mean the set, the puppets, everything was on point). This is such a hilarious show with some of Starkid’s best and most iconic jokes and yet it still manages to be such a beautiful and inspiring show.

With all this being said, this show is so criminally underrated and I really do not understand why but I guess everyone’s got their own tastes and all but okay. You do you.

Also, just gonna go off on a tangent for a bit. This musical is what made me fall in love with the beautiful, amazing, talented Dylan Saunders. I could not believe that the same man could play the adorable and very loveable cutie pie that is Tootsie Noodles/Mega-Girl and the hauntingly charismatic Pincer who is by the way one of Starkid’s best villains. Yes I said it. Nonetheless 12 –year-old me was absolutely flabbergasted by this man’s talented and really had no choice but to fall in love with him. Apart from Twisted, this is most definitely Dylan’s best performance (Not that he has any bad ones. Let’s be honest, that man is perfect). Legit, I challenge anyone to try watch this musical and not fall in love with him. It’s literally impossible.

MVP: I don’t think I could pick just one, I mean they’re all so amazing. I’d probably have to go with Joey. I think Bug was a great character for him and really showcased his abilities, which have just grown exponentially over the years. It was great seeing him play a more serious role rather than his previously more comedic roles (Ron and Joey) while also getting to goof off a little bit. It’s so fun to watch him in this and I really don’t think he gets enough appreciation for this role. Oh and also Meredith is amazing in Starship. I absolutely love her as Mega-Girl and it’s my favourite role of hers.

Favourite song: The Way I Do. Bro the chemistry between Meredith and Dylan is off the charts and this song just shows it. I love everything about this song. It’s so beautiful, I can’t even. Also not too be too like generic but Kick it up a Notch is phenomenal and one of Darren’s best. Actually this show’s whole soundtrack is probably my favourite of the ones that Darren wrote.

Favourite scene: I don’t think I have a favourite but I love the scene with Junior and Mega-Girl where he calls her a toaster and all that. Some of Brian’s best acting and he and Meredith’s chemistry really is really present here. It’s not often you get to see these two play opposite each other so it’s fun and interesting to watch.

3. A Very Potter Sequel

As a major Harry Potter fan, it’s only natural that I hold the Potter series with the highest regard. Despite the fact that this show is a parody by a bunch of college kids, it literally is a better adaptation than a whole eight-part, multi-million budget film series and that’s saying something. How the hell did Nick and Matt write every single one of these characters more accurately and consistently than professional screenwriters and at times, JK Rowling herself? It’s very rare that you ever hear me say that a sequel (I guess it’s technically a prequel) is better than the original but here we are. Don’t get me wrong, AVPM is iconic™ but this show just somehow improved what AVPM already perfected. The plot was much more fleshed out and every single character was written so perfectly and also everybody was casted perfectly. If you follow me you probably know of my love for Remus Lupin and while his character is AVPS is written absolutely ridiculously, it is one of my favourite things about the show. In this show Remus is written to be like this total mess of a person, who is like homeless and just walks around the school half naked, covered in blood and forces a child to eat a dead deer and is just drunk all time and yet I can just totally accept it. Like if the movies had written Remus like this I’d be like “hmm no” but when Brian Holden does it I’m like “um yes this is amazing”. This is quite possibly Starkid’s funniest show, I literally cry of laughter EVERY TIME. Honestly this show is comedic gold for any Harry Potter fan. From anything that comes of Lupin’s mouth or the entirety of Umbridge’s character to Lucius’s dancing.

This being said, I can totally understand why anyone wouldn’t like this or the other Potter shows as much as the others or not think it’s funny if they’re not a fan as most of the humour is based on knowledge of the original series and obviously this for the other parody shows like HMB or ANI. Nonetheless I still think anybody could enjoy this show and its humour as Starkid pretty much has the same sense of humour running throughout most if not all of their shows.

MVP: Brian Holden. I don’t think I need to explain again. But also Tyler Brunsman and Joe Walker are scene-stealers too. Also Corey Dorris as Yaxley in this show is peak comedy.

Favourite song and scene: okay so these kind of go together for me for this show. The whole scene with Those Voices brings me to tears every time. I fucking love the whole marauders era so them showing Sirius Black seeing James and Lily in the Mirror of Erised is more than my heart can take. Nick and Darren in this scene is just *chef’s kiss* and then you add Brian Rosenthal harmonising in the background, well it’s enough to make any girl break and you bet it does every time.

4. Holy Musical B@man!

Oh my god this is just such a fun show and if it was a person, I would die for it. When I first watched this, I wasn’t that big of a DC fan at the time so I couldn’t fully appreciate it for what it was. It’s actually so amazing and it’s a real shame that it sometimes gets overlooked. Nick Gage’s song writing is actually amazing and I really love this soundtrack. I mean I literally get chills every time I listen to the end of Dark, Sad, Lonely Knight. You know which part I’m talking about.

Also can we talk about the costumes for this show? June really fucking outdid herself with this show, they are literally the best costumes out of the whole Starkid canon and you cannot tell me otherwise. Not only did she nail like the classic comic book character costumes like Batman and Superman, etc. while also making them her own but she also created completely original and amazing costumes like Sweet Tooth and Candy. I wish I had even a small percentage of that talent and artistic ability. Anyway this show is so hilarious and also so emotional at the same time it’s not even fair. I’m not a big fan of Batman or Robin and yet this show almost has me changing my mind. And honestly, Nick Lang deserves the fucking world, I absolutely love watching him act and it’s unfortunate he doesn’t do it a lot because he’s amazing.

MVP: Joe Walker. Don’t get me wrong, I love watching Joe play all of his over-the-top comedic roles but I particularly love watching him play a slightly more serious role like this, it’s really refreshing and I really think he knocked it out of the park. Also Jeff Blim as Sweet Tooth is one of my favourite Starkid characters. No joke, 12-year-old me was OBSESSED.

Favourite song: either Dark, Sad, Lonely Knight or Rogues are We.

Favourite Scene:  the whole To Be a Man scene.

“Batman or should I say Butthead”

“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh”.

If that’s not comedic gold I don’t know what is.

5. A Very Potter Musical

This show is and always will be Starkid’s most iconic show. I think it says a lot that a silly parody musical put on by a group of college students has been able to inspire a whole decade’s worth of beautiful, creative, crazy works of art which only continues to grow. This show was never meant to become what it did but how lucky and fortunate are we all that it did. I am so grateful that 8-9 (tbh I can’t even remember anymore) years ago I decided to watch a silly musical about Harry Potter because I cannot imagine my life without Starkid in it. No this show might not have the best set or props or costumes or sound/video quality (it was 2009 guys, give them a break) but it is absolutely amazing in every single way and that’s all I’m going to say.

MVP: fucking everyone. I mean I’m around the same age they were when they started all of this and I can’t even imagine being able to create something even remotely as creative and wonderful or having any kind of success as close to that any time soon.

Favourite song: I feel like I should go for a classic like Not Alone but I’m not gonna lie I’m a real sucker for Missing You.

Favourite scene: oh man I don’t know the whole show is so iconic. I don’t know how I can pick just one.

6. Black Friday

I’m sure some people would be surprised that this show would be so high on this list for a number of reasons. Mostly due to the fact that I’ve been known to be quite fond of, and pretty biased towards some of Starkid’s older shows. But I think that’s just because I’m really nostalgic for how the fandom was back 8 years ago when I joined. And also when I joined the fandom, HMB was like our TGWDLM. It was the newest show out and everyone was talking about it. And also this is the show I have been rewatching the most lately and vie literally had the album on repeat for the last month.

A lot of people don’t really like the new direction that Starkid has taken with this show and honestly I don’t get it. Yes, it’s considerably darker than their other shows and while they classify it as a horror-comedy, it doesn’t really have a whole lot of comedy. But in my opinion, I think that’s what makes the show so great. The main focus of this show is the characters – their pain, their desires, their struggles and I think any excess of comedy would just take away from what’s really important. I really love watching Starkid delve into this new kind of story-telling and I think they’re doing an amazing job with this Hatchetfield series. I think this show did such a great show of introducing us to all the new characters, developing their arcs and really establishing their role within the world of Hatchetfield while simultaneously blending them perfectly with the already established characters from TGWDLM. What I really like about this show and even TGWDLM is how the characters are written. They feel so real not as cartoonish as some of the characters in Starkid’s previous shows which are why the audience can really relate to these characters.

Also this editing and cinematography of this show is fucking amazing and unlike anything else we’ve gotten from Starkid over the years. The choreography is outstanding and the musical is phenomenal. This is easily Jeff Blim’s best work and I have a feeling some people might disagree with me on that. The music in this show is so beautifully intricate and the lyrics have so much depth and emotion which I just feel like TGWDLM lacks. I know some people have been a bit offstandish about the singing in this show and I guess I’d have to agree. The live vocals on the youtube version do seem a bit off but I just suspect some cast members may have been sick or maybe they were just having an off day (it happens guys, even to professionals). Also I love the additions of some new members to Starkids, everyone was absolutely great in this show. For some of these actors, the characters they played were completely opposite to roles that they’ve played in the past but they all nailed it – Joey, Jon, Lauren. My only complaint in terms of casting is that I wish they gave Jaime more, while she is often praised for her singing skills (rightfully so), she often gets overlooked in her acting abilities and it would be great to see her play a bigger role in the next show.

Also I get it, Santa Claus is going to High School is very hilarious and great but please don’t make it another Workin’ Boys thing. Don’t go demanding Starkid to make a short film for this too, let them focus on their other bigger and better projects, please.

MVP: this show had some of my favourite performances from many Starkids but if I had to say someone who particularly stood out to me it’s definitely Kim. Before Black Friday, I will admit I hadn’t really seen anything with Kim in it so this was a great surprise for me. I am literally in love with her voice; it’s one of the most beautiful things in this world.

Favourite song: Take Me Back. Dylan and Kim are just amazing in this song I can’t even explain how much I love it. I’m also a major fan of Feast or Famine and If I Fail You. Ooh and Made in America.

Favourite Scene: I really love the scene with Tom and Becky in the movie theatre but I also really love the whole What Do You Say scene, I think it’s hilarious. But I think my favourite is with the whole Black and White scene with the President, Wiggly and Wiley. One of Joey’s best performances in my opinion.

7. The Trail to Oregon

So on my last list, this show was considerably higher but, on my recent rewatch of the AVPM shows and HMB, I’ve realised how much I really love those shows and unfortunately TTO had to be downgraded. Don’t get me wrong, I still very much love this show. It’s one of the most fun shows to watch and has me smiling the whole time without fail. In saying this, this show also does an amazing job of adding in these beautiful emotional dramatic scenes that brings the audience to tears. At the end of the day, this show really is just about family and how important it is to love and appreciate them no matter how insane they are or how much they annoy you. I know Jeff is really beloved in the fandom but I still don’t think he gets enough appreciation for how good of a writer (both script and song writing) he is, as well as an actor. This show is so unexpectedly beautiful and I’m really grateful for Jeff creating this story.

I don’t really think this show gets enough credit for how good its production actually is considering it only has six cast members. This show is proof of how diverse, creative and talented all these actors really are. It’s such a different concept from their other shows and I think they executed it so well.

MVP: Joey absolutely smashed it, I’m sure it’s not easy having to play all these different characters and literally change between them in a matter of seconds while giving each of them their own separate, unique identities. Another performer I got to give credit to in this show is Rachael, When the World’s at Stake is an amazing performance and Corey is so funny to watch in this show. Grandpa is probably my favourite character as well as the son.

Favourite song: probably When the World’s at Stake but also Independence. I cannot possibly estimate how much time I spent trying to learn those lyrics and sing it at that speed and get it right but I finally got there.

Favourite scene: the whole scene when the Grandpa, Son and Daughter are hunting makes me laugh every time, it’s so funny. But there’s something about that scene with McDoon and Cletus that ends with them riding on the horse together that makes me crack up.

8. The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

Okay so I know the last time I did this, TGWDLM was like no 5 or 6 but like it’s been like a year and a half and a lot of my opinions on this show have changed. I’m also aware that by the time the next Starkid show is out I’ll probably also have changed my mind about Black Friday but who knows. I am eternally grateful to this show for introducing me to the amazing Jon Matteson. In a matter of 2 hours, this man somehow became one of my favourite human beings in the world. His portrayal as Paul is just, I don’t even know but something about it just sticks with me and I absolutely love it. This concept of this show is actually so amazing and you really gotta give the Lang’s credit for being able to come up with stuff like this. A lot of the beauty of the show is that it seems like such a simple concept but if you really think about the implications, you can actually understand why it’s so terrifying. Production-wise, this show isn’t anything fancy in terms of set, costumes props, etc. But the lighting design is amaaaaaazinggggggg!

The soundtrack for this show is pretty great but if you’re comparing it to Starkid’s other scores, it’s not the best. I said it before; the music in this just lacks the depth and emotion that is so heavily prominent in the Black Friday score.

MVP: Jon Matteson for the reasons above. And also Joey’s monologue as Ted to Bill gives me chills every time.

Favourite song: I feel like as the show goes on the songs do tend to get more personal, detailed and emotional which I why I probably favour those over many of the songs in act one. Let it Out and Inevitable are two songs in particular that I love and definitely stand out to me.

Favourite scene: the whole Let it Out scene with Jon trying to resist the apotheosis. And also Lauren’s acting at the end of Inevitable is amazing. Her running around the stage, distressed is both so horrifying but also absolutely hilarious.

9. Me and My Dick

I mean I guess I understand why a lot of people don’t like this show but that doesn’t mean I can forgive the fact that it’s so underrated. Yeah the humour is a bit crude and I get that’s not everyone’s thing but literally this show is two and a half hours of pure golden comedy. Honestly, who thought a show about high school kids and their walking and talking genitalia could be one of the most wholesome and heart-warming things in the world. I don’t think anyone other than Starkid could pull of something like this which honestly says so much about them. These people come up with some of the most craziest, outrageous stuff and somehow turn them into beautiful, amazing works of art.

The soundtrack for this show is so freaking good man. And AJ Holmes is literally one of the most amazing and talented people on this earth. How the fuck does he write such good music? I need to know, it’s really not fair. And for all those people who complain that it took Corey Dorris ten years to get a solo, I urge you to simply watch MAMD.

This show doesn’t have the best production and the sound quality is not great but you know what? Fuck you. Because the acting is this show outshines all of that. The energy each of the performers has in this show is crazy and they are all extremely talented. Literally AJ as Joey’s heart is next fucking level. And Arielle is criminally underrated for her role in this. And Nick Strauss is a comedy king. I’ve said it before and will say it again; The Old Snatch and Flopsy are the most iconic duo.

MVP: AJ and Nick. Like I said. Next level and iconic™.

Favourite song: Listen to your heart. But also Even Though. And Finale is a certified bop.

Favourite scene: I love the scene with Dick and Flopsy but I don’t know if it’s my favourite. But one of my favourite quotes is when Dick is talking to Joey about Miss Cooter’s hair and Joey’s delivery of “on her vagina?” cracks me up every time. And honestly there’s not a lot that can beat Brian during Gotta Find His Dick just intensely repeating “Someone tell him where his dick is”. It makes me laugh so hard I really don’t know why.

10. A Very Potter Senior Year

Alright so let me take you back to 2012. I remember the day they posted the video announcing they were not only making another Harry Potter show but that they were bringing back almost every Starkid member. It was actually such a weird time for the fandom because it really did seem like this show was going to be the end of Starkid. When you watch the show, you can see that the actors are not only saying goodbye to Harry Potter and the characters that they had been playing for the last 3 years but also they were saying goodbye to each other. It was heartbreaking to watch then and it still is now 8 years later. 2012 me was absolutely devastated because I had only just discovered this fandom and I thought I would already have to say goodbye to something that become so special to me in such a short amount of time. Luckily for us all this was not the end of Starkid.

This show really holds a special place in my heart, for so many reasons. First off, it was the first Starkid show that I got to watch as it premiered. Second, I was still grieving the end of the Harry Potter movies and these musicals had kind of replaced that for me but then this was ending too. And third, it really just is the most perfectly executed ending to the AVP series.

This show makes me both laugh and then cry and then laugh again and then cry and laugh at the same time. In my opinion, it is one of the best written Starkid shows, on par with the other Potter shows and I think the only reason why it gets overlooked is the fact that it’s a stage reading rather than a proper production. But you know what, considering this show was literally put together in such a short amount of time and the actors literally had a few days’ worth of preparation, they still managed to put on an amazing show. I wholeheartedly believe that if this show had been a proper production, it would be pretty fucking perfect. The soundtrack for this show is probably the best out of all the Potter shows for me. Every one of these songs is a bop and I love them all so much.

Long story short, people need to stop sleeping on AVPSY and appreciate it more.

MVP: Joey Richter. I don’t even need to explain. Just watch Act 2 Part 11. Actually him in the entirety of Act 2. And also that delivery of “losers like us that’s who” just makes me cry every time. How did Starkid portray Ron more accurately in these musicals that WB did?

Favourite song: it’s a tie between I Was and I’m Just a Sidekick.

Favourite scene: The whole scene with the resurrection stone and Everything Ends. Absolute Perfection.

11. ANI

Like the Harry Potter shows, I can understand why people don’t like this show. If youre not a fan of the original text, you probably won’t like the comedy or understand the entire plot or whatever. And honestly that’s the only reason I put this show so low. I have very very little knowledge of Star Wars so pretty much all of the jokes and that go right over my head. However, I still find it very enjoyable to watch and most of that probably has to be credited towards the fact that it has a killer soundtrack and a pretty perfect cast. Also like I said with HMB, I love the rare occasion that we get to see Nick perform. This soundtrack, oh my god, it’s so amazing. Why do people keep overlooking it? I get that it’s different because it’s not the character’s singing it but like that choreography though. Clark Baxtresser has one of the most beautiful voices so you’ll never hear me complaining about a whole score of pretty much just his voice. But that’s just me. I hate how much hate I see for this show. Everyone worked extremely hard on this show, particularly Nick and Matt who wrote the whole thing and the lack of appreciation for it is horrible to see. It’s actually such a fun show, and you can tell the cast had so much fun doing this show because their energy is so great in this.

MVP: Nick Lang. Again, he deserves the world. And Chris Allen is incredible in every role he does but particularly this.

Favourite song: With My Own Eyes and Long Ago and Far Away. I just really love the vocals.

Favourite scene: Nick’s scene as Obi-Wan.

12. Firebringer

CoNtRaVeRsIaL oPiNiOn  but sorry but I don’t like Firebringer. It’s not that I hate it. I’m just not really fan of it or its comedy – mostly because I don’t think it has any. I’ve seen people say that Twisted or MAMD rely too much on using swearing/ profanities for humour but honestly I think that’s more of the case for this show. That’s not to say that there’s not things I don’t like about it. Apart from HMB, this show probably has some of the best costumes. I can’t really fault Nick and Matt’s writing too much but I have to say this is some of their weakest work. I don’t think the plot as a whole is bad I just think there’s parts that don’t work for me or just don’t feel right. And I’m not really a fan of the characters and their development. I never thought I’d ever be able to say that I dislike any role of Meredith’s but honestly I find her character really unlikeable and I know people might attack me for that but it’s just my opinion. I like Zazzalil, I think Lauren did a great job, as always but I don’t know I just don’t think there’s any particular character or performance that really stands out for me in this show. If I’m being completely honest, I have only been able to watch the full run of this show twice, maybe three times and it has been a while since the last time I watched it but if I’m being honest I don’t see myself sitting down to watch it again any time soon. One thing I can definitely praise this show on is the female and LGBTQ+ representation, although that should go unsaid but even in 2020, seeing positive representations of female, LGBTQ+ or POC in media is still somehow refreshing and surprising and ain’t that just a little bit sad?. Another thing I can praise this show on is the music, I actually quite enjoy majority of the soundtrack.

MVP: Both of the Lauren’s. Lauren Lopez because she’s amazing in everything but especially in this, I’m so happy she finally got a lead role, she deserved it 100%. And Lauren Walker is just fucking hilarious. Why hasn’t she been in another Starkid show since?

Favourite song: probs climate change

Favourite scene: like I said, there’s really not a lot that stands out to me in this show so I really don’t know what to pick.

#i really just did all this for myself but i feel unproductive so I thought i'd post this #i feel a little more productive now #starkid #avpm #avps #avpsy #starship #hmb #twisted #ani #tto #tgwdlm #black friday #mamd #firebringer

[titleleaf]

2017 Favorite Self Fanworks

I was tagged in this by @noxelementalist, whose answers you can find here! 

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favourite works you created in 2017 (fics, art, edits, etc!) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world in 2017. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original!) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works

 A short preface: I wrote about half of my total output during Yuletide this year, and I tried a lot of new-for-me stuff, but I’m going to try and hold off on just hollering five times in a row that I wrote Bobete. However, that said:

1. A Little Dab’ll Do Ya (Mad Men, Bob Benson/Pete Campbell, 5.4k) 

Intrepid ad man Pete Campbell plunges into the twilit homosexual underworld of New York City in search of answers. Bob Benson helps.

I REALLY HAD FUN WRITING THIS PAIRING and powering through the last seasons of Mad Men in order to completely disregard them for the purposes of crass sexual gratification is one of my proudest moments. Pete Campbell is a king size shithead and really could not be a more optimal viewpoint character if your #1 kink is furious vindictive sexual coveting. Bob’s POV on this same plotline would probably have more murder. I’ve wanted to write Mad Men fic for a while and writing for tricatular was a treat. They had me at hillbillies and sodomy.

2. snapped-on wrong, maybe permanently (IT 2017, Patrick Hockstetter/Henry Bowers, 1.2k) 

Hockstetter knows all the best places to hide. What else are friends for?

Sometimes you just want to write something kind of gross. The deep unpleasantness of Stephen King’s kid and teen villains cannot be overstated, but it was really fun to write something where both these characters’ deep dysfunctional nastiness is still present during what would be a really tender and vulnerable moment if they weren’t nasty little assholes. The foregone conclusion of what’s going to happen to Henry Bowers, and what’s going to happen to Patrick Hockstetter in an even closer window of time, is the ideal framing for a tiny moment of fucked up first love. 

3. gimme your hand, gimme your sound (Mindhunter, Debbie Mitford/Holden Ford, 1.3k)

Debbie, Holden, a tub of Vaseline, and a lazy Sunday. When they're unlucky, they get to bring their work home with them.

I don’t think I’ve ever written pegging before, so naturally I wrote it in the worst possible fandom. Debbie is a fucking treat and exactly my kind of scummy postgrad catnip. 

4. A Hundred Thousand Fingerprints (Three Days of the Condor, Joubert/Turner, 7.2k)

1977: Joubert and Turner cross paths again.

Blueteak’s prompt is the kind of prompt you are seriously lucky to get in any exchange and I had a really fucking good time putting this fic together. It’s a depressing 70s political thriller picaresque about a soft romance between a career assassin and his former mark. (The film about two assassins in love that Turner mentions in this fic is Charles Bronson’s 1972 film The Mechanic. I do consider The Mechanic a gay film despite attempts to neuter that aspect and you should watch it if you like weird 70s stuff.) It was fun to write about politics and the political landscape of ‘77 specifically through the lens of a character who devoutly lacks ideals in that arena, though it’s something he finds pretty endearing about Turner. 

5. slowly to the foamless weirs (Rope, Rupert Cadell/Brandon Shaw, 3.6k)

Rupert Cadell fails to voice his suspicions in a timely way. There are a couple of consequences.

Writing for scioscribe is always a treat and I’m going to do it until to the point where she really wishes I would quit, probably. Rope is a fandom I only really write for exchanges or start writing for exchanges through no fault of the fandom, just by dint of never knowing really what I want to talk about until somebody’s discussing it in their letter. Turns out, what I want to write is the mutually deceiving and mutually destructive love of a genteel psychopath and Jimmy Stewart. Love and lies and coming in your pants. 

I’m tagging @forthegothicheroine, @shredsandpatches, and @manzanas-amargas. Anybody else who sees this and wants to do it should do it.

#ska writes a thing

[realestatedigitalsales]

Real Estate - Recession Signs Everywhere

Real Estate - Recession Signs Everywhere

Real Estate - Recession Signs Everywhere

By John Mauldin Real Estate - This month, the Federal Reserve joined its global peers by turning decisively dovish. Jerome Powell and friends haven’t just stopped tightening. Soon they will begin actively easing by reinvesting the Fed’s maturing mortgage bonds into Treasury securities. It’s not exactly “Quantitative Easing I, II, and III,” but it will have some of the same effects.

Why are they doing this? One theory, which I admit possibly plausible, was that Powell simply caved to Wall Street pressure. The rate hikes and QT were hitting asset prices and liquidity, much to the detriment of bankers and others to whom the Fed pays keen attention. But that doesn’t truly square with his 2018 speeches and actions. The Fed’s March 20 announcement suggests more is happening. I think two other factors are driving the Fed’s thinking. One is increasing recognition of the same slowing global growth that made other central banks turn dovish in recent months. The other is the Fed’s realization that its previous course risked inverting the yield curve, which was violently turning against its fourth-quarter expectations and possibly toward recession (see chart below, courtesy of WSJ’s “Daily Shot”). That would not have looked good in the history books, hence the backtracking.

On the second point... too late. The yield curve inverted, and recession forecasts became suddenly de rigueuramong the same financial punditry that was wildly bullish just weeks ago. My own position has been consistent: Recession is approaching but not just yet. Yet like the Fed, I am data-dependent and the latest data are not encouraging. Today, we’ll examine this and consider what may have changed. Cracks Appearing Let’s start with a step back. The global economy clearly hasn’t recovered from the last recession like it did in previous cycles. Yes, the stock market performed well. So has real estate. We’ve seen some economic growth, which in a few places you might even call a “boom,” but for the most part it’s been pretty mild. Unemployment is low, but wage growth has been sluggish at best. Rising asset prices, fueled by almost a decade of easy monetary policy, also contributed to wealth and income inequality, which fueled populist and now semi-socialist movements around the world. This slow recovery began fading in the last few quarters. The first cracks appeared overseas, leaving the US as an island of stability. Not coincidentally, we also had (slightly) positive interest rates and thus attracted capital from elsewhere. This let our growth continue longer. But now, signs of weakness are mounting here, too. Recall, this follows years of astonishing, amazing, unprecedented, and astronomically huge monetary stimulus by the Federal Reserve, Bank of Japan, European Central Bank, and others. In various and sundry ways, they opened the spigots and left them running full speed for almost a decade. And all it produced was the above-mentioned weak recovery. (Chart below from my friend Jim Bianco, again via “The Daily Shot”)

That, alone, should tell you that putting your faith in central bankers is probably a mistake. We can’t know how much worse the last decade would have been without their “help,” but does this feel like success? Yet here we are, with millions still in the hole from the last recession and another one possibly looming. We also can’t rely on historical precedent to identify where, when, or why it will start. But we can make some educated guesses. First Domino Earlier, I called the US an “island of stability.” Other such islands exist, too, and Australia is high on the list. The last Down Under recession was 27—yes, 27—years ago in 1991. No other developed economy can say the same. The long streak has a lot to do with being one of China’s top raw material suppliers during that country’s historic boom. But Australia has done other things right, too. Alas, all good things come to an end. While not officially in recession yet, Australia’s growth is slowing. University of New South Wales professor Richard Holden says it is in “effective recession” with per-capita GDP having declined in both Q3 and Q4 of 2018. (By the way, Italy is similarly in a “technical recession.” Expect more such euphemisms as governments try to avoid uttering the “R-word.”) As often happens, real estate is involved. Australia’s housing boom/bubble could unravel badly. Last week, Grant Williams highlighted a video by economist John Adams, Digital Finance Analytics founder Martin North, and Irish financial adviser Eddie Hobbs, who say Australia’s economy looks increasingly like Ireland’s just before the 2007 housing collapse. The parallels are a bit spooky. Australia’s household debt to GDP was 120.5 per cent as of September last year, according to the Bank for International Settlements, one of the highest in the world. In 2007, Ireland was sitting at around 100 per cent. At the same time, the RBA puts Australia’s household debt to disposable income at 188.6 per cent. Ireland was 200 per cent in 2007, while the US was only 116.3 per cent at the start of 2008. RBA figures also show more than two thirds of the country’s net household wealth is invested in real estate. In 2008, that figure was 83 per cent in Ireland and 48 per cent in the US. Meanwhile, 60 per cent of all lending by Australian financial institutions is in the property sector. In 2007, the International Monetary Fund gave the Irish economy and banking system a clean bill of health and suggested that a “soft landing” was the most likely outcome. Last month, the IMF said Australia’s property market was heading for a “soft landing”. House prices in Sydney and Melbourne have fallen nearly 14 per cent and 10 per cent from their respective peaks in July and November 2017, coinciding with sharp drop-off in credit flowing into the housing sector both for owner-occupiers and investors. Real estate is, by nature, credit-driven. Few people pay cash for land, homes, or commercial properties. So when credit dries up, so does demand for those assets. Falling demand means lower prices, which is bad when you are highly leveraged. It gets worse from there as the banking system gets dragged into the fray. Losses can quickly spread as defaults affect lenders far from the source. This is not only an Australian problem. Similar slowdowns are unfolding in New Zealand, Canada, Europe, and China.It’s a global problem, and one company reveals the impact. Constrained Hiring Shipping and transport stocks are kind of a “canary in the coal mine” because they are among the first to signal slowing growth. Last week, FedEx reported its international shipping revenue was down and cut its full-year earnings guidance. Its CFO blamed the economy, reported CNBC. Slowing international macroeconomic conditions and weaker global trade growth trends continue, as seen in the year-over-year decline in our FedEx Express international revenue,” Alan B. Graf, Jr., FedEx Corp. executive vice president and chief financial officer, said in statement. Despite a strong U.S. economy, FedEx said its international business weakened during the second quarter, especially in Europe. FedEx Express international was down due primarily to higher growth in lower-yielding services and lower weights per shipment, Graf said. To compensate for lower revenue, Graf said FedEx began a voluntary employee buyout program and constrained hiring. It is also “limiting discretionary spending” and is reviewing additional actions. FedEx shares have dropped roughly 27 percent in the past year, lagging the XLI industrial ETF’s 1 percent decline. This little snippet overflows with implications. Let’s unpack some of them. Revenue fell due to “higher growth in lower-yielding services.” So those who ship international packages have decided lower costs outweigh speed. Likewise, “lower weights per shipment” signals they are shipping only what they must, when they must. FedEx is responding with an employee buyout program and “constrained hiring.” The company is overstaffed for its present requirements. This might also reflect increased automation of work once done by humans. In any case, it won’t help the employment stats. In addition, FedEx is “limiting discretionary spending.” I’m not sure what that means. Every business always limits discretionary spending, or it doesn’t stay in business long. If FedEx is taking additional steps, then whoever would have received that spending will also see lower revenues. They might have to “constrain hiring,” too. Obviously, FedEx is just one company, although a large and critically positioned one. But statements like this add up to recession if they grow more common… and they are. Tariff Trouble One reason FedEx is in the vanguard is that it’s uniquely exposed to world trade, the growth of which is diminishing for multiple reasons. Part of it is technology. The things we “ship” internationally are increasingly digital, and they travel via wires and satellite links instead of ships and planes. These sorts of goods aren’t easily valued for inclusion in the trade stats. Energy is another factor. Between US shale production and renewable energy sources, we don’t import as much oil and gas from across the seas as we otherwise would. That shows up in both trade and currency values. The US dollar is stronger now, in part because we send fewer dollars to OPEC. Note the massive (and stealthy!) growth in LNG (liquified natural gas) exports in the past few years. Think what this will look like in a few years, with not one but four LNG export terminals on the US coasts. Natural gas is also the basis for much of the chemical and fertilizer industry. Abundant US supplies (and prices less than half the cost of Russian gas in Germany) help many US industries compete.

Those are just signs of normal progress and change. The economy can adapt to them. The greater threat is artificially constrained international trade, which is what the Trump administration’s trade war is creating. Last year, I explained how trade wars can spark recession and trade deficits are nothing to fear. I won’t repeat all that here. But we have since seen several market swoons/rallies as harsher trade restrictions looked more/less likely. Whether you like it or not, asset values depend on the (relatively) free flow of goods and services across international borders. Interfere with that and all kinds of assets become less valuable. Starting a trade war, at the same time growth is slowing for other reasons, is more than a little unwise. Agricultural tariffs have already ripped through US farm country to devastating effect, leaving losses some farmers may never recover. The president’s tariff threats had other impact as well. Companies raced to import foreign-supplied components and inventory before the tariffs took effect. This jammed ports and highways last year, not with new demand but future demand shifted forward in time. This is important, and I think we will see the impact soon (if we are not already). Transport and logistics companies geared up for last year’s surge, expanding their facilities and hiring new workers. Importers built up inventory in an effort to avoid tariffs that were supposed to take effect in January. The deadline was extended, but the threat is still alive. At some point, all this has to stop. Carrying inventory is expensive and will eventually outweigh the benefit of avoiding tariffs. Then the boom will come to a screeching halt. Imports will fall as companies work down inventory. All those jobs and construction projects will disappear. That, combined with the other cyclical factors and high debt loads everywhere, could easily add up to a recession. Exactly when is hard to say. Recessions usually get pronounced in hindsight, so there’s some possibility we are in one right now. But I still think we’ll avoid it this year. Getting into this box took a long time and so will getting out of it. Regardless, we’ll have a recession at some point. I think the next subprime crisis will be in corporate debt. Next week, we’ll look deeper into the timing question, what the yield curve tells us, and why the next decade will bring little or no economic growth. I realize this is not a happy conclusion, but I call them as I see them. I’ll leave you with one final but critically important thought: Prepare, don’t despair. Tough times are coming but we can handle them. You have a chance to get ready. I highly suggest you take it. Read more https://global.goreds.today/real-estate-markets-brace-for-near-crisis-level-drop-in-retail-property-values/ Read the full article

#RealEstate-RecessionSignsEverywhere

[shydaydreamer28]

Deadpool -Pansexuality

I started not to post, since topics of sexuality, politics, race, and religion are VERY controversial. But I wanted to share my opinion on this. Anytime this aspect of Deadpool’s character is brought up, you have people argue that he’s not pansexual because we have never seen him kiss or sex-up another dude on-screen.

So, I wanna counter that, and explain why I don’t think it proves he’s not pansexual. There’s no deep philosophical reason. It’s really a pretty simple one -despite the post-length. lol And it’s still in theory territory -because obviously, I don’t know everything. lol.

The Reason -Writers Pander to their Demographic. If they’re straight, white, males -then expect most of their work to show things that those types of viewers would wanna see.

Official Deadpool writers credit him as non-straight. Fabian Nicieza says his sexuality simply depends on his brain at the moment, because his mental state is in constant flux. He likes whatever his brain tells him he likes in that instant. Gerry Duggan, writer for current Deadpool solo series, classifies him as pansexual and “ready & willing to do anything with a pulse.” His exact quote. Then he states keeping up to date on Deadpool’s “omnisexual exploits.”

So these things coming from 2 different Deadpool writers seems to point to the fact that he’s not 100% straight. And, just because a person is pan or bi doesn’t mean they can’t have a gender preference. Some men could be bi or pan, but prefer women. Or prefer men. Or prefer one gender in general, but have specific types in others.

It’s canon that Deadpool’s feelings toward Spider-Man aren’t 100% platonic.

While married, Deadpool had a top 5 free-pass list of people he could sleep with. Spider-Man was #5 on his list.

He wasn’t doing it to be funny, or annoying, because he didn’t intend for Spider-Man to know. When Peter asks who #5 is, Wade tells him never-mind.

We see Peter asking about the list again here.

What happened? Wade outright lied about him being on it. So again, he wasn’t carrying around a free-pass list with Spider-Man on it just to show him for a punch-line. And it wasn’t a joke to make Spider-Man uncomfortable, because he lied when asked about it. 

Then there’s the final chapter. Now THIS is debatable, When Spider hugs Pool, looking at his face -the almost embarrassed grin, and given his line, it’s very possible he’s got a bit “too excited” here.

Then there’s the variant covers depicting him trying to kiss Spider-Man

Now these 2 are only friends. I don’t argue that. We’re not gonna see them dating, kissing, or having sex. But, that’s because Spider-Man is straight, doesn’t mean Deadpool is. lol

This series (Spider-Man/Deadpool) was written by Joel Kelly. Another of Deadpool’s big writers. 

Some doubt Deadpool likes men because we never actually see Deadpool hooking up with other dudes on-screen. So they think his flirting is just casual jokes not to be taken seriously. But you have to consider who the writers are. The writers are most-likely white straight men after all. Lets look at the women Deadpool’s been paired or teased with.

Just pix of the main ones, but they’re all hot white women

Anyway, women we haven’t seen Deadpool with include -Black, Asian, and Average-looking. Just another example of preference, and going more with your demographic. Like if you have mostly black writers, and a black director, then it’ll be the same thing. A black lead, and black love interests. Just the way media is most of the time.

Now, let me bring up RoguePool as another example of pandering bias.

When Rogue kissed him, she ended up having the same crap he did, but was still hot.

They didn’t make her as ugly as Deadpool can be portrayed as

No hair. A nose that seems to have slumped, and grown on to his lip almost, and yellow eyes, with no, or hardly visible, pupils,and WAAAY worse skin.

Why? Again, male viewers wanna see hot women. So, ya gotta have Rogue still be hot. Guys  don’t wanna see a deformed Rogue.

But, nobody cares if the dude is ugly. Look at all the shows or films where hot women were paired with dumpy, if not ugly, male leads. You RARELY see the reverse.

Again for the het male readers, they wanna see hot women and the male leads getting it with hot women. Thus, that’s gonna be the bulk of love interests for any male lead, no matter how ugly he may be.

Going on the writers’ confirmation of DP’s sexuality, but no dude+dude. Sometimes writers or creators will tell you things outright, but will not show it on-screen. To avoid controversy, damaging sales, or the complete awkwardness of writing / filming it. Look at other media. You see lesbians depicted quicker than gay men.

Look at Deadpools ex, Shiklah. She was shown in bed with other female monsters on more than one occasion. Here, we see one running from her room.

Guys don’t mind seeing or hearing about lesbians, so that’s cool for male writers and directors to get into. But if the male viewers have to see guys who like other guys, they need to be very funny about it -thus sometimes extremely stereotyped, and physical stuff is kept to a low minimum, if not completely off-screen.

“Modesty / Subtlety”

When it comes to same-sex relations with men in media -most of the time, we seem to be in the phase where all sex was in earlier days of media. Lucy and Ricky slept in twin beds -as did all tv couples at the time. They clearly had sex. And Ricky jr. wasn’t planned since Lucy didn't even think she'd be pregnant, and was shocked to find out. But for modesty, you never see them do anything other than have chaste peck-kisses. Then eventually far as media goes, sex was only ever implied. You’d see characters kiss, then a fade to black with them both very happy in the morning while doing other things.

Same-sex among men seems to be here. You’ll see flirting and hear comments / references. But you never see them have on-screen kissing or sex scenes. We haven’t quite progressed to that yet, least not to my knowledge. In terms of seeing it in comics, or anything in Hollywood. Reynolds has said he wants Deadpool to have a boyfriend in the live-action films. We’ll see how far that gets to coming to fruition.

Legend of Korra is famous for this. At the series’ end, Korra + Asami get together. There were little things throughout season 4 that hinted at their feelings. But many thought nothing of them because they weren’t overt enough.  Finally, we have the following screenshot.

Again, many argued this meant nothing because nothing happened -like a kiss. Again, it’s already progress to show same-sex relations, on Nick. But they showed it with women -not men. And even then, it was met with argument from fans who thought it had no build-up, and even some fans who thought the above screenshot was platonic. 

The show creators however did confirm that the 2 are a couple, and that Asami is Korra’s heart. But are we gonna say that it isn’t serious, or doesn’t count because we didn’t see them kiss? This ending was romantic in nature, and the creators confirmed it after there was still debate. 

They were VERY subtle about what they showed with these two, which didn’t make it non-existent. Unlike the straight couple Zaheer and P’Li who are shown kissing 5 sec. after they see each other.

Conclusion

Despite the length, at the end of the day, Deadpool will probably not be shown kissing or sexing men ON-SCREEN. But that doesn’t mean his interest in men is non-existent. 

He flirts with guys the same way he does with women. The difference isn’t what Deadpool does. It’s who responds. Any men he flirts with are never interested in him It’s the women who have higher chances of finding him charming or funny, and falling for him. Deadpool is pan, but could largely prefer women. You can be bi or pan and still have a preference.

Chasing Amy is a good example, a decent 90s film. The female lead, Alyssa experimented with guys as a teen. After college, she exclusively dated women for the next 10 years, and identified as a lesbian. She fell in love with Holden-stating that he was the first to ever truly sate her. After they broke up, she went back to dating women. Clearly, she prefers women. But that doesn’t mean a man, or the right man, is off the table. So she’s not a complete lesbian.

Editor, Jordan D. White is active on this site. He received an Ask saying that it’s annoying how many think Deadpool is straight. So, he asks if he’d consider giving Deadpool a boyfriend in canon. 

Here’s the post.

https://jordandwhiteqna.tumblr.com/post/107753982210/as-someone-who-has-to-deal-with-fake-geek-boys-who

So, no words put in his mouth. He doesn’t deny that Deadpool isn’t straight. And he’s open to the idea of a male love interest. But something more goes on behind the scenes that he can’t call that shot just like that. 

#Deadpool #Wade Wilson #Shiklah #Pansexuality #Marvel #Korra #Asami

[briannaslist]

Pretty Little Liars

These Boots Were Made for Stalking (A Recap)

I’m just warning you now, this episode is about as eventful as the last one. Don’t let that ridiculous episode title fool you. 

We pick up where we left off, with the girls all surrounding the game, upset that Spencer played. Again, it may have been easier to avoid this had they not left it alone with one person. Emily decides to be assertive and say she’s still not playing, leaving the barn. Hanna is annoyed by Emily too and says that she can’t just leave because they’re in it together; after all, they all buried that body unnecessarily. Still so stupid. Like the police were going to prosecute them for some guy running around the woods in all black and getting in the way of a car. Open and shut accident.

Aria’s main focus still centers on the uncertainty of her engagement. A reporter saw her coming out of Ezra’s apartment and asks if she can get in touch with Ezra for an interview about him being reunited with his long-lost fiancé Nicole. So naturally Aria gets offended and corrects him about being the fiancé. Let’s table Aria for a little bit because she will actually serve as the relief from everything else that happens in this episode. We’re gonna need it.

At Rosewood High, Emily and Paige talk in the locker room. Paige apologizes for saying that Emily was a victim enabler the other day; but she was actually right about it and she said it in a very fair way, so I don’t think she should apologize. I cannot believe I’m sticking up for Paige. They talk a little bit about their history and when they part ways, Emily sees that there was a student still in the locker room and she was clearly listening in. Listen, this has an upturned and bitchy for the entire episode. In case you don’t pick up on her nature from her interactions with everyone. Emily asks her why she missed practice yesterday and the girl gives this half-ass response and saunters out.

Later, Emily goes to talk to the girl in Alison’s classroom following Ali’s lesson. She says that she checked with the office and saw that the girl never went home early yesterday. Emily says that it isn’t fair to her teammates that she skipped out on practice like that and the girl’s attitude isn’t helping her case, so Emily tells her she’s off the starting lineup for the next swim meet. The girl’s response is, “You sure you wanna do that?” and she walks out. Emily and Alison immediately talk about how terrible this girl is, with Ali remarking that she’s even worse than she was when she was a teenager. And I guess I should mention that this bitchy girl is named Addison Derringer…. It’s like they’re not even trying.

Ali wonders if her child will turn out like her or Addison. For the sake of all that is good, let’s hope that the kid doesn’t and let’s not entertain the possibility of a “next generation” spinoff centered around Ali’s potentially evil child. Emily asks Ali if that means she’s keeping the baby and Ali says she still hasn’t decided. Emily comforts her by stroking her hair and giving her a hug. While Addison was outside listening to the whole thing and taking pictures with her phone.

Addison later goes to Paige, accusing Emily of being a sexual predator who was trying to penalize her for not giving into Emily’s “advances”. Paige obviously knows this is all a lie; even if she didn’t know Emily as well as she does, she was picking up on Addison’s story not being consistent for the entirety of the conversation. Addison shows her the pictures she took of Ali and Emily and says that Emily is even inappropriate with other teachers. It’s the least incriminating picture in all of existence. Paige tells her that she’ll handle it and asks Addison to forward the picture to her.

Later that day, Paige shows Emily the picture and tells her about Addison’s accusation. She wants Emily to take the night off while she handles it.

Hanna meets with Mona, who shows her what the senator’s daughter picked out to wear to her event. But Hanna freaks out and says to talk her into another dress. Mona says she’ll be back when Hanna isn’t being so neurotic. Caleb sides with Mona’s stance and says she just needs to get over whatever her issue is and give the client the dress that she wants. Hanna tells him that she made the dress while working with Claudia and Claudia gave her several suggestions that made the dress work. At this point the background music is too annoying and distracting, but I think Caleb said something along the lines of “okay, and who gives a shit about Claudia?”  I’m not sure and I’m not rewatching this episode.

I guess we should see what Spencer is doing. Ah, she’s still being angsty about her birth mother. She finds out that Melissa also knew the secret. Obviously she knew Spencer, she would have remembered her mom being pregnant. She wonders why Melissa “put on a show” about finding out about Jason since she knew of her father’s infidelity before (regarding herself). Gee, Spencer, maybe it has something to do with finding out that she was dating her half-brother that made Melissa react like that. This is supposed to be the smart one?

I really wish we could skip Spencer, but she’s the one connected to the police storyline the most. She called Detective Marco and asks him if he would consider finding Mary a top priority. He doesn’t actually answer, but I would assume that Mary already was a priority considering how she’s connected to this entire situation. One could even argue that a great deal of this is Mary’s fault.

Spencer later meets with Marco at the police station to talk further about the case. Should he even be giving her this much information about an ongoing investigation? They’re interrupted by Jenna coming in, ready to make a statement. Marco tells her they aren’t alone and she says “I know. I can hear her breathing. Hello Spencer.” Let’s just, acknowledge the obvious about how she clearly would not be able to identify someone on their breathing.

Jenna says that she was working with Noel for money that he said Charlotte left for her to get eye surgery. But the “truth” is that Noel was broke and was going to take all the money and kill her like he did with Sara Harvey (I hope that’s the last we hear of her.) Jenna said she played along and had the gun as self-protection…despite not having eye sight. Incredibly for Spencer’s current behavior, she can tell that this is all a total lie.

And after all of that, I bet you welcome hearing about Aria. Aria is at the wedding planning place, talking to Holden. He’s swamped because a bride changed her mind at the last moment; change your mind as much as you want, but he better be making some serious extra cash for that. Aria helps him and he notices her taking off her ring and he asks how things are with Ezra. And really, Aria’s storyline is worth this: He lets her vent and he brings something about how everyone has history and how people can change and he says, “I mean, I’m not the same person I was in high school. Are you?” And it’s hilarious because yes, yes she is; they all are. I mean, just look at Ali and Emily having a meaningful conversation in front of an open door.  None of these people have grown in five years. Zero progression. We needed that.

Hanna called up Emily to see if she heard anything different and Emily points out how stupid that is and how she knows as much as Hanna does. If she knew more she would say it. This is just important because she sees Jenna with two other (presumably) blind people and she sees Jenna saying “send” into her phone and moments later sees and  hears Addison getting a notification for a new message.

We nee to revisit Spencer for a minute. Her mom tells her that she’s selling the house and they want to sever ties with the town as soon as possible. Spencer is like, “Okay, whatever, it’s just a house.” And that’s usually the response people want right? So that it’s not too difficult for the people leaving? But instead her mom launches into a huge monologue about how it’s not just a house, it’s their family and memories, and whatever other cliché things people say on TV shows. So like, does she want her to be upset? May as well add another thing you’ll never hear the end of.

Hanna and Mona are at The Radley when they see Jenna walk in wearing Hanna’s dress design in white. And to add insult to injury, it looks better in white. Mona storms over there demanding answers, but Jenna says it was a gift and blows her off. Hanna tells Mona it’s all a part of the game and she leaves too.

Hanna and Caleb follow Jenna. It looks like she’s going to the shoemaker where Hanna’s shoes that are going to go with the dress are being repaired. Jenna’s (presumably) blind friends go inside, while Jenna is outside. Caleb decides to confront her. When he walks up, Jenna smells (?!) him and asks if it’s Hanna. May have worked, but he spoke first to get her attention and I feel like she would recognize Caleb’s voice before Hanna’s smell. Hanna goes inside while they talk about nothing of importance.

The shoe repair shop is empty and dark. And not that large of a space; you could walk a few steps in and see the entirety of it. Somehow this does not stop Hanna from walking around, looking for the shoemaker, and getting locked in a cage where some of the shoes are. She flashes back to her torturing and huddles in a corner on the ground. She gets a text from AD telling her to wait her turn. Caleb finds her and gets her out. See! They haven’t learned anything!

Still at the wedding planning facility, Aria gets a news alert – it’s a full article about Ezra and Nicole being reunited. She says she has to leave and when she goes to put up her apron she sets her phone on the counter, with the article still on the screen. Holden sees it.

Aria goes to New York and talks a nurse into letting her in to see her “friend” Nicole so she can “drop off some salt water taffy.” She’s about to go in when she hears Holden yelling out, “Don’t do it Aria!” Very dramatic reaction that makes it seem like Aria was going to kill the woman or something. I think she was just going there to set the record straight about her and Ezra being engaged. Still a bad idea, but not one meriting that response.

So, Aria never goes in and she and Holden get some pizza. He gives her similar advice to what Hanna said last episode: just relax and continue going about each day until she and Ezra can talk further. He also points out that Ezra is probably feeling even more turmoil than she is. She thanks him and rests her head on her shoulder. I still do not remember Holden or why he’s significant, but please don’t love triangle this.

Emily wants Ali to give her the key to Spencer’s barn since Spencer left with her mom for the afternoon. Emily wants to play the game because she’s afraid AD is trying to get to her through Addison. She even thinks Addison could be a pawn of Jenna’s. Ali agrees to give her the key and goes with her.

When Alison and Emily play the game, they see a surveillance video of Addison and her boyfriend in a car outside of the coffee shop, sharing a bong. Emily’s solution is to confront Addison about how she’s a terrible person and a bully and she won’t get away with it. Problem is Emily is yelling and has completely lost her cool. Thankfully Paige is there; never thought I would say that either. Addison tries taunting Emily about how she’s gonna need a lawyer and Paige tells her that they have a copy of the email she sent to her friend gloating about her plan to get Emily fired; she says that the principal and Addison’s parents have seen it and they’re waiting for her in the principal’s office. Imagine that; someone said they would handle it and they actually did. And someone is actually getting consequences for their actions!

When Emily is leaving she gets an AD text saying “Embrace your dark side. I had to.” If that’s all her “dark side” is then that won’t be a difficult venture. All she did was yell at an irritating teenage; people want to do that every day. Emily also sees that she has mail in her teacher mailbox. It’s another puzzle piece.

Everyone gets together at the end of the episode and add Emily’s puzzle piece. Spencer deduces that it’s a map. I guess that’s the plot progression? We’re gonna painstakingly get like 6 more pieces until they get a full a map and then they finally “discover” something?

#pretty little liars #pll7 #pll 7x12 #pll recap #tv recaps

[hatmaker-sophie]

Introducing the Witch of the Wastes

At the first chance of a long weekend, Sophie had requested to go home for a few days.  While she initially was hesitant to do so, concerns from several people around suggested that a break from schoolwork and the environment might do her some good.

As she arrived home, her mind raced frantically, worried that her sisters may think something was wrong. Well, something was, but she didn't want her sisters to be concerned.  It took her a little longer than usual to make it to her house as she barely had any energy to walk and carry her bags with her, but when she finally arrived, her sisters welcomed her home.

"Sophie!" Lettie cried excitedly as she wrapped her arms around the eldest sister.  While Sophie normally was never as energetic as Lettie, it was still surprising to the younger sibling why Sophie seemed so lethargic and weak.  "Sophie, are you alright?  You seem tired.  Are they overworking you over there?  I have to say, we were all a little surprised when you told us you were coming home for the weekend.  We thought you'd be busy being a prectfa?  Perfact?"

"Prefect," Martha interjected.

"Yes, prefect. And that your exams were coming up! The... oh I can't remember except that it reminded me of a reptile..."

"NEWTs," Martha chimed again.

"Yes, those. Given how busy you are, we didn't think you'd have time to come home!  Not that we aren't glad to see you, we're just a little worried." Lettie had finally taken a break in her immediate bombardment of a welcome, something Sophie was quite accustomed to whenever she returned home.  Martha, on the other hand, was typically a little quieter than Lettie upon her sister's arrival, but this time, her silence was due more to a worried and calculating thought.

"Sophie, perhaps you should get some rest," the youngest sister said, much to both sisters' surprise.  This was typically a statement made by Fanny, who it seemed was away on yet another trip to Belgium.

Sophie nodded with a weak smile.  "Of course.  I'll do that just as I put my stuff away," she replied as she slowly and with great effort moved her things upstairs into her room.  As she made her way up, Lettie and Martha shared a worried glance, as they have never seen their sister this drained before.

After a few moments, Sophie was already in bed with her eyes closed but not asleep.  She heard her sisters shuffle about and whisper with concern in their voices as they tiptoed around into their own beds.  Some time passed and soon Lettie and Martha were sound asleep. In the quiet and darkness and the familiarity of home, a small part in Sophie wanted to relax and let her mind wander into dreamland and get some well-deserved rest, but she was also worried of what she'd encounter...

Here in darkness, Sophie found herself wandering around, unsure of where she was and where she was meant to go.  Her legs continued to carry her through the endless dark hallway until she reached what appeared to be a tall mirror.  As she approached it, however, she found no reflection, but instead, saw a familiar face.

Inside the mirror was Denahi, happily strolling down Hogsmeade with a beaming smile on his face and stress-free look.  Of course, this made Sophie smile a little bit seeing her friend this happy until the image zoomed out a bit to reveal a beautiful girl on his arm.  It was the girl whom Sophie had seen at the cafe with Denahi where the two were holding hands.  Sophie's heart dropped and she couldn't figure out why this had made her sad. It was, after all, what she wanted for Denahi: a beautiful and lively and adventurous girl to be at his side. She wasn't any of those and thus wasn't what Denahi needed nor wanted.  Who else was to blame but herself for not being any of those things?

The scene lingered for a few more moments as Sophie clenched tightly, her nails digging into her pals. Soon, the two of them evaporated into a smoke and Sophie instead saw Holden with his hand reaching out toward Sophie.  She hesitated, unsure if she was to take it, but she had taken too long to decide, had shown her hesitation, and mirror-Holden grew angry and left Sophie too.  She wanted to call out to him and tell him to wait for she didn't want to be alone in a place like this, but no sound came from her lips.

And just as quickly as the people before appeared and disappeared, came another figure.  This one, however, Sophie had never met.  She was a tall woman dressed in black with a regal sort of posture.  Immediately, she spotted Sophie, or more like was expecting her.  With an amused look, she stepped out of the mirror until she stood face to face with the young Ravenclaw.

"My, you certainly do look like you haven't slept in ages," she smirked though her voice was airy yet firm.  It was a voice that was deep and commanded attention.  "I'm surprised you've lasted this long, young Sophie.  You are a lot more persistent than I had originally thought."

Sophie stood there in a bit of a shock.  How did this woman know her name?  And what was she talking about?

"You must be wondering what this is all about," the woman continued.  "In this world where your mind drifts off when you sleep, this is where I reside.  I lurk in the wastes of unconsciousness ever since my body had passed.  My soul needed somewhere to rest, so I found my way here. Despite that, I do not take well to trespassers and thieves whenever they come into my office."  The woman's voice grew stern while maintaining its airiness.  Sophie tried to speak and to explain, but still no voice came out of her.

"Yes, perhaps you would like to say that you had not intended to steal anything from the place you and your friend stumbled into.  Your friend, she is lucky you blocked her from the spell.  Your curious natures have brought you quite some misfortune. By now I'm sure you have understood the workings of the curse laid upon you?"

Sophie could barely move as she was paralyzed in fear, so she simply stared with glassy eyes at this woman.

"No?  Well, perhaps you shouldn't be a Ravenclaw if you're so dimwitted.  I'm sure you'll figure it out yourself.  However, I must say, thank you for taking the curse.  I haven't had so much fun in quite some time.  Getting to see the world through your eyes is quite marvelous even if you are a rather boring girl.  And of course frustrating.  I can only watch while you're awake, but when you're asleep, I have the freedom to roam on my own."

Everything about what this woman was saying was horrifying and it couldn't possibly be true...

"My dear, it's all up in your head and I can hear it all.  Tell me, my dear, has Denahi finally shown interest in you yet?  Or have you come to your senses and abandoned those delusions that he might actually like you as more than a friend? And dear Holden.  What a beautiful face that one has.  Yes, he is quite a tasty one.  I would have pursued him myself in my younger years.  It's funny to me that a simple, plain girl as yourself could possibly attract the attention of two handsome gentlemen."

Sophie bit her lip, forcing herself to not cry at these words.  She needed to wake up now.  The woman suddenly glanced up with an amused look in her eyes.

"Trying to leave so soon, darling?  Like I said. It's all in your head.  Well, I suppose I've held you up long enough.  I simply needed to introduce myself except you've been actively avoiding me.  It's made me rather lonely.  I suppose I shall see you on the other side," the woman said with a smile, though the smile did not reach her eyes.  "If you ever need me, just call me.  The witch of the waste will always be at your service," she added playfully, and Sophie knew this woman was anything but here to serve the young girl.

Sophie jolted awake in the dead of night.  She checked her watch and saw that she had only managed an hour or so of sleep. With a heavy sigh, she stuffed her head into her hands as she tried to steady herself.  It wasn't real, she tried to tell herself.  It was just a dream.

If so, why am I standing right before you, dear Sophie?

#Introducing the Witch of the Wastes #fhogself #self #i'm sorry this is long #read more for style points and some plot~

[ecotone99]

(AA) Is it really safer...?

“It’s safer out here than in the city. For sure.”

With that, Adam helped lessen some of my concerns about my first overnight hiking trip.

He had a good point as well, I mean, apart from the occasional snake bite or fall, nothing that bad ever happens in the Australian bush.

Despite the fact that, well, our bush can have some bite to it. There are snakes, leeches, ticks, spiders, dingoes and wild dogs. To name just a few. And Ivan Milat. Australia’s answer to Ted Bundy. But he died last year.

The snakes are what freaked me out the most. When Adam first floated the idea of an overnight hiking trip, I quickly took to Google to find out what we might come up against.

The death adder. Eighth deadliest in the world.

The tiger snake. Seventh deadliest in the world.

The brown snake. Fourth deadliest in the world.

The inland taipan. Third deadliest in the world.

All these could be found around the region we would be hiking in the south-east of Queensland, near Brisbane.

I also had a nagging concern about other people. While scouring Google about hiking mishaps, I came across several articles about the murders of hikers who were camping.

Sure, these grisly deaths had occurred in America, a long way from Australia, but they raised fresh doubts in my mind about Adam’s assurances of the bush being a safe haven.

In one instance, a couple on the Appalachian Trail in America were brutally murdered by a drifter who decided to wander onto the trail for unknown reasons. Unlike most hikers, the drifter, Paul Crews, was carrying a long-barreled .22-caliber revolver, a box of 50 bullets, and a double-edged knife nearly nine inches long.

When Crews stumbled across the couple at a remote shelter, something happened, and while the exact details are unknown, he committed an atrocious double-homicide before fleeing the scene.

The incident ‘prompted outdoorsmen and trail officials to rethink conventional wisdom long held dear: that safety lies in numbers, that the wilds offer an escape from senseless violence, and that when trouble does visit, it's always near some nexus with civilization--a road, a park, the fringe of a town.’

But I had to put all those concerns to one side. I couldn’t dampen Adam’s mood as we breezed out of the city mid-morning on a Saturday. With dubious tunes blasting out of the pathetic speakers of his dirty white Holden Astra, I could feel myself start to relax.

While I had spent the past weeks looking up everything that could harm me in the bush, Adam was busy plotting what he described as an “epic hike”.

I stayed away from the details and trusted Adam to put a good adventure together. I knew we were heading south-west, but the actual hike? I had no idea. And to be honest, I didn’t really care.

Hiking is something I don’t really understand. I like a majestic view as much as the next person, but I could never understand the point of walking without a purpose. Walking to the shops to get milk? That makes sense. Spending a whole day walking around to only end up where you began? A little strange if you ask me.

​

Adam and I caught up weekly to run together, often heading from the City along the Riverwalk to New Farm.

Running together one Wednesday night, as the Brisbane skyline gradually faded from view, we began to reminisce on our teenage years bashing our bodies to pieces playing Aussie Rules. We were both defenders and relished repelling attacks.

Adam gave up footy a few years before me and turned into a bit of a fitness freak.

As we neared the turnaround point of the run at New Farm Park, Adam floated the idea of doing a hike together sometime.

“Yeah okay,” I agreed. “Something short, like Mt Coot-tha?”

“How about a challenge instead? I’ve never done an overnight hike and I’m keen to try one,” Adam replied.

I knew he had been getting into hiking but the idea of spending two full days walking around in the bush seemed a bit of a daft way to spend a weekend.

I let the idea sit for a while as we slogged along the pavement near the river. Adam is smart. By using the word challenge in a sentence, he knew he was putting me in a pickle.

Since our footy days, we were always locked in a tussle trying to outdo each other. Even then, as we hid our deep breathing from each other, we were attempting to be a better runner than the other one.

After a bit more baiting by Adam, I eventually relented.

“Fine. But I’ve got no gear to spend a night out in the bu…”

“All good! I’ve got a spare tent and sleeping bag you can borrow. That’s all you need.” Adam said.

While I didn’t like the idea of using Adam’s spare sleeping bag, that was probably last washed or cleaned a long time ago, it was only going to be for one night.

One night.

Easy.

​

Our final destination on four wheels arrived in agonising fashion. It was a carpark near Mt Joyce and I was absolutely bursting to go to the toilet. Adam’s advice to drink a couple of litres of water in the morning, so we wouldn’t have to carry as much water on the hike, had me in agony.

He had refused to pull over on the couple of dirt verges we had passed recently, and so I now had to do a dash of shame from his car to the nearby toilet block. Lucky no one else was around to see.

Relief, sweet relief.

With that out of the way, we extended our arms into Adam’s boot and heaved our packs out.

Our packs were about the same size but mine was much lighter. Adam’s newfound love for hiking also extended to hiking gear, and his pack was weighed down with an assortment of tools and ‘things’ that seemed to have no purpose.

“So, Mt Joyce? Never heard of this place,” I said.

“Me neither until recently. It looks like a cool little mountain and has a campground at the base,” Adam said.

A campground. Not really what I was expecting. I thought we would be sleeping rough on some patch of dirt. The campground might even have hot showers.

We started hiking but I was still imagining what other creature comforts the campground might have. WiFi, a pool, maybe even a BBQ so we can cook up a feast.

The trail was easy enough to follow as it gently followed the banks of Wyaralong Dam, so I was comfortable enough in my other world.

When I start daydreaming a blank expression normally takes over my face.

Never have I gone from blank to alert as quickly as I did when Adam shouted “SNAKE!”.

Shit. Shit. SHIT. I was yanked back to earth and started dancing on the ground as if the floor was lava and slowly evaporating away.

My eyes started scanning the surroundings so fast Arnie in the Predator would have been proud.

But I couldn’t see anything. Adam, in a relaxed composure, was a few paces ahead of me and lifted his finger to point to a nearby bush.

I could hear the rustle of undergrowth before I saw the tail of something, possibly a snake, fade into the bush.

“You scared him off.”

“Isn’t that the point…?” I replied.

“He was just minding his own business. That gave you a big scare, yeah? I’ve never seen someone bolt into action as quickly as you did,” Adam said.

“I didn’t know where he was. Anyway, let’s keep going away from it before it comes back.”

That snake, likely a harmless carpet python, was the first one I’ve ever seen in the wild. I didn’t want to see one again so we quickly forged ahead.

My heart rate was now easily in the triple figures, a combination of our encounter with the snake and the weight of my backpack. I stopped daydreaming and instead started concentrating on the side of the trail and every rustle which could pose danger.

We must have walked a few kilometres by now and up ahead I could see a building of sorts. It looked out of place amongst the natural surroundings.

As we got closer I could also see a few picnic tables and one tent already set up.

“Is this where we are camping?” I asked Adam.

“Sure is! This is Mt Joyce Base Camp. Let’s get set up here, and then keep going to the summit of Mt Joyce. It will be about two hours return to the summit. We can leave all our gear down here so it will be much easier,” Adam said.

Ahuh. I thought we would be slogging it out for much longer with our packs on, so this was a nice surprise. And given the rather remote nature of the campground, we didn’t have to worry about anyone pinching our gear.

The campground didn’t meet my earlier fantasies but it was much better than the dirt patch I had expected. We were in an open, grassy clearing, near the old building.

There was space for about six tents. We set our two tents up on the edge of the clearing, far away from the other tent which appeared to be empty, although someone could just be sleeping inside.

Adam did most of the setting up, as I was a liability with the tent poles and nearly stabbed him with them on a few occasions. And I don’t say that lightly, the spare tent he had given me had poles with ends that had somehow rusted themselves into objects capable of causing injury.

When everything was set up, we were ready to head uphill to the summit. I left all my gear in the tent, save for my phone, which despite having no signal, was a necessity to prove that we were tough bushmen capable of climbing mountains.

We had a quick bite to eat and then before setting out, we checked out the building near our tents. It was built out of wood and was surely over half a century old. It looked like it didn’t want to be here anymore, having grown tired of its quiet surroundings.

“Abandoned school hall,” Adam said, reading my mind.

“You’re kidding, right? Why on earth would a school hall be out here in the first place? There are no roads or anything connecting it,” I said.

“Dunno. Probably someplace they sent the shit kids for punishment.” Adam said.

Great, I thought to myself. We were probably camping on the site of a pseudo-juvenile hall for deviant kids. The clearing was probably the site of an old graveyard for kids who couldn’t spell. If any place was going to be haunted this would be it.

We poked our heads inside. It was as you expected from a building that hadn’t been cleaned or maintained in decades.

Graffiti donned the walls and scraps of junk sat untouched in the corners. There was a row of steel bunk bed frames along the back wall - ten beds in total. As expected, they were missing mattresses and the steel frames were coated in rust and paint chips.

The windows were blocked out with cardboard and there was only one door in and out. It was grim.

We investigated the hall for a couple of minutes, gingerly poking at objects with our feet. There was just the main room and nothing else of note inside. So with that, we ducked back outside and were relieved to be in the fresh air again.

It was hard to notice when we first entered the building, but now outside again, there was definitely a distinct smell of recent cooking inside the hall.

Adam also noticed the smell.

“Someone must have been cooking in there recently. Smelt kinda like a barbeque,” he said.

I murmured in agreement but didn’t add anything else. I was keen to get hiking again so we would return before sunset. I wanted to be secure in my tent as soon as it got dark, as the hall had given me an uneasy feeling.

​

The climb to the summit was harder than we thought. Adam thought it would take two hours return to reach the top, but after 90 minutes of hard walking, we were still some distance from the radio tower that signalled the summit.

I was enjoying the hike, despite the fact that it was looking increasingly likely that we would be returning to camp after nightfall.

It was a warm day and sweat started to drip to the ground. My calves, which are perennially tight, started to throb. But we were almost there.

After nearly two hours of hard, uphill hiking, we finally reached the summit. Adam tried to appear fresh as if the hike had been easy, but I could hear the strain in his voice as he pointed out the landmarks surrounding us.

“Mt Barney, that big one at the back there. Mt Maroon, that one just in front. And that one off to the side shaped like a wedding cake: that’s Mt Lindesay.” Adam said.

Looking out at these, much larger, mountains, I started to imagine a new life for myself.

A combination of the peak-bagging ability of Edmund Hillary, the literary genius of Jon Krakauer and the scene-capturing skills of Jimmy Chin. My 213 Instagram followers were going to love going on this awakening with me, so I started the dawn of a new beginning by snapped a couple of photos of the landscape.

I wish we could have stayed longer at the top soaking in the views, but with just 30 minutes left until sunset, we had to hustle to make it back down to camp before it got too dark.

Adam seemed pissed off, at someone or something. He was flying down the descent, almost breaking into a run at times. I made a few casual comments about the pace which he grunted at in reply.

“I’m sorry,” he finally blurted out.

“What? Sorry for what?” I said.

“This is my fault. We should have started earlier. We are going to be walking in the dark and neither of us has our headlamps.”

“It’s okay mate. Walking in the dark will be fun. And we have our phones to use as torches anyway. It’s all good.”

He didn’t reply but seemed a bit more relaxed after that brief conversation. I knew how much time he put into planning everything, and this weekend of hiking was no exception.

We were about halfway back to camp when the sun set. The sky started to gradually darken 15 minutes after that. My eyes worked hard to adjust as less and less light filtered through the trees. The trail we were following, which had once seemed like a highway, now required a hefty dose of concentration to follow.

With darkness now all but hugging us in the depths of the woods, our phone lights came on and, probably, saved us the embarrassment of spending a night lost in the bush. At times, we would lose the path and stumble awkwardly into tangles of bush or undergrowth, before adjusting our focus and finding the faint slither that would return us.

Adam was quiet and focused on the task of getting us back to camp. I didn’t want to say it, but I was having fun bashing around in the dark. It was just us two, out on an adventure of sorts.

When the gradient of the trail started to level off, I knew we were close to camp. Around every corner, I expected to see the ratty outsides of the old school hall. When it did loom out of the darkness, I was relieved. That was until I could see the clearing where the tents were.

​

Our tents were in the same position as before - five metres apart near the edge of the clearing. But the other tent, which had been set up on the other side of the clearing when we arrived, was now perched smack bang in the middle of our two homes from the night.

“That can’t be the same tent can it?” Adam asked.

“Hmm, I think so. We haven’t seen anyone else out here today, and it’s the same colour and design as the tent from before. It must be the same one.” I said.

“But why would they move it to in between our tents...that makes no sense,” Adam said.

“I don’t know. It’s creepy. Let’s go see if anyone is around.”

While we were hiking, there was always a bit of space between Adam and I. A metre or so.

But now we walked across the clearing our arms were brushing against each other as if preparing for some attack.

As we were getting close to the tents, Adam startled me by yelling out, “hello, HELLO?! Is anyone there.”

No response. There was no sound or light coming from the other tent. It looked empty just as before.

“Let’s get our headlights out so we can look around,” I said.

We split, to go to our tents. I’m not sure why, but I was scared of unzipping my tent. I had an uneasy feeling about the whole situation and couldn’t help but think someone was going to jump out at me.

That’s crazy, I said to myself. Safer out here than in the city…

I tried to unzip my tent as quietly as possible, and then poked my head inside and illuminated the insides with my phone torch.

Nothing.

My backpack was gone. My sleeping mat and sleeping bag, which had been unfurled before we left, were gone. The inside of the tent was completely empty.

“What the fuck. Where the fuck is all my stuff.” Adam shouted. He was a few metres away but it sounded like he was right next to me.

I was speechless. I looked over at Adam’s tent, and from the faint light emitted from my phone, I could see the rage on his face.

He ran over to my tent and looked inside, as if he thought I had somehow pranked him by taking all of his stuff.

“Who the hell took all our stuff.” He said.

“Well, there’s only one other tent around here. Should we look insi….”

Before I could finish, Adam was already ripping at the opening of the other tent.

“Be careful. We don’t know if this person took our stuff or not.” I said.

Adam didn’t care. He wrenched the zip open and thrust his head inside.

“Ohhhhh, someone is definitely messing with us. Look at this shit.” Adam said.

Not wanting to look, but also desperate to see what was inside, I glimpsed over Adam’s shoulder into the tent.

Our backpacks weren’t inside. Nor were our sleeping bags or mats. Just two items were sitting on the floor of the tent: both of our headlamps.

Adam grabbed mine, passed it to me, then scooped up his. He shone his phone light around the perimeter of the tent, looking for clues about where the rest of our items could be. But nothing materialized. Just an empty tent.

I tried to click on my headlamp but nothing happened. Click. Click. I shook it a few times. Click. Click. Nothing. I shook it again and then noticed it wasn’t rattling like normal.

Fearing the worst, I opened up the compartment to where the 2AA batteries normally went. Nothing. Completely empty.

“Adam...are the batteries still in your headlamp,” I said.

Adam looked at me puzzled, then slowly flicked his compartment open. I didn’t even need to look, I could tell from his face that they were gone as well.

“Is this your idea of a joke?! You’ve set this up, haven’t you? Well, very funny. It’s a shit prank so just tell whichever mate you’ve got doing all this to stop.” I shouted at Adam.

To add more impact to my words, I also shoved him. Hard. He stumbled back a few metres but stayed on his feet.

“I promise you I’ve got nothing to do with this. No one is going to drive all the way out here and give up their whole weekend just to prank you. All my shit is missing as well.” He said.

“Did you tell anyone we were coming out here? Is someone trying to fuck around with both of us?” I said.

“No, not really. I mean, I told my housemates but they weren’t even really listening.”

“Well, fuck...what do we do now,” I said.

Adam’s response to that was to start pointing his phone torch around. The light could hardly reach more than five metres in front of him, and he appeared not to want to move his feet in any direction.

I knew there was nothing to gain from looking around the clearing. The only logical spot where our gear could be was in the old hall, which looked even more menacing now in the dark than it had before.

I didn’t want to bring up that idea though, I just wanted to retreat to the tent and pretend none of this had happened. Wait until dawn and hope for the best.

Adam’s fruitless searching though had brought him to the same, and only, realisation. His faint light beam now settled on the hall.

The hall was 15 metres away from our tents. We looked at each other, and without saying a word, started inching across the damp grass towards it.

Before we could reach the hall, Adam grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face him.

“Go grab a rock or something!”

“What? Why?” I said.

“In case someone is inside. Better to be prepared. I’ll shine the light through the door once we open it, you have a rock just in case.”

A rock. Okay, whatever. I didn’t want to venture too far away in search of a lethal-looking rock, so I plucked the nearest hockey-ball sized rock out of the ground and returned to Adam.

We continued our approach to the hall. I put my phone in my pocket and let Adam be the gatekeeper of light.

Adam glanced disapprovingly at the rock I had selected. It was too small to do anything. Too small to hurt someone. Too big to skim across a pond. Useless but whatever.

The door to the hall was getting closer and into focus now. There was no handle or lock, but it stood still in the windless night. When we were a few metres away, Adam’s light flicked across the door.

What...this can’t be real can it?!

Stuck to the door were the 4 AA batteries from our headlamps. They were no longer useful though, horribly deformed and chipped as if someone had bashed them with a rock. A much larger rock than the one I was carrying.

We both couldn’t believe it. Either someone we knew was carrying out an extremely elaborate prank on us, or we were dealing with a freak.

“I don’t want to go inside,” I whispered to Adam. “Let’s call the cops and find somewhere safe until it’s daylight. It’s not safe here.”

“No, I want my stuff back. Someone is just playing a trick on us. We will have to walk back towards the car anyway to get phone reception.” Adam said.

​

Forget any dreams or words I had shared previously. I wasn’t going to be the next Edmund Hillary. I never want to go hiking again, let alone pitch a tent in the middle of the stupid bush.

Safer out here than the city...bullshit. I wanted my city comforts and security back. Right now.

Without consulting me, Adam pushed the door open with the tips of his fingers.

I entered into a stance resembling a baseball pitcher, my rock poised to create damage to whoever, or whatever, was inside.

The faint glow from the moon didn’t reach into the hall, so it was darker inside than out. A matter not helped by the pitiful light Adam’s phone was putting out.

He swept the light across the hall. Nothing.

We stepped inside and scoped out the dark corners of the hall. Nothing.

Nothing jumped out of the dark at us. Nothing in the hall looked different from how it had been earlier.

Once we were satisfied that we had looked over every area of the hall, we circled back to the middle. I dropped my rock and kicked it away to a corner of the hall.

“So someone has just taken our stuff and ran. They must have thought it was funny to tape the batteries to the door and scare us.” Adam said.

“But what about the other tent?” I said.

“Hmm, no idea. Probably just another hiker who is still out there. Maybe they got their stuff stolen as well and have gone back to the carpark.”

He sounded more relaxed now. Content even. I was anything but. There were no other cars in the carpark when we had arrived this morning. So it didn’t make sense that there was another tent in the clearing.

​

I was about to reply to Adam when I saw out of the corner of my eye the door to the hall opened. It made no noise, just swung open.

A man of average height and build stepped through, making sure the door closed after him. He was holding both of our backpacks.

“Hey, mates. I’ve got all your gear. I didn’t know where you were, or if you were coming back, so I collected it to keep it safe.”

He dropped our two backpacks on the ground.

Adam and I were shocked.

“It’s all good, mates. I’m a hiker myself. That’s my tent out there. I’m just here for the weekend. What are your boys’ names?”

Still shocked we didn’t respond.

“Come on, mates. If we are going to be spending the night together, you oughta be polite.”

His voice had started to deepen and an aggressive edge could be detected. Our bags were on the ground, but he still had his own backpack on.

“Why would you touch our stuff.”

Adam punctuated the silence.

“I told ya, to keep it safe. It had got dark and you weren’t here, so I wanted to make sure no one else touched it.”

“So you took the batteries out of our headlamps and destroyed them?” Adam said.

“If you’re not going to thank me for looking after your stuff, then you can fuck off. I’m going to sleep in here tonight, so grab your shit and get out.” He said.

With that, he dropped his backpack to the ground and pulled out a tattered sleeping bag. He laid it down next to our bags and started fiddling with it.

He looked homeless which made sense. The hall was a perfect spot for a drifter to set up in. But he had a tough homeless edge to him.

“Let’s get our stuff and get out of here. Quickly. Back to the car.” Adam whispered to me.

I was still in a state of disbelief at this man and his behaviour, but my legs followed Adam’s as he made to cross the hall.

Adam was a few steps ahead of me, and when he reached his backpack he stretched out a hand for it, with his eyes still fixed firmly on the stranger.

I didn’t know what to expect. I still had an inkling that we were in trouble, but the stranger appeared not to care about us anymore. He wasn’t looking at us anymore, just arranging his sleeping bag.

Just as Adam’s hand made contact with the strap of his backpack, the stranger sprung into action.

His hands, buried in his sleeping bag, whipped out a small camping shovel. He lashed at Adam with it wildly, hitting him flat on the front of the face. The shovel was small but it was still metal and emitted a resounding ding when it collided with Adam. His nose copped most of the hit and splayed to the side.

“FUCK YOU for coming here. This is my home.” The stranger shouted.

Adam dropped to the ground without making a noise. Completely out.

The stranger turned to me and raised the shovel to make a second strike. He was quick but I was able to back away, and the blow missed me.

He pushed forward and swung again. This time I had to raise my forearm to block the blow which was tracking towards my head. The edge of the shovel dug into my skin and dinged off bone.

Using my free arm, I was able to shove the stranger back. Pain reverberated up my arm and shot to my brain.

I had a decision to make. Dash for the door and try to escape into the woods. Or try and fight this madman.

My brain went instantly into coward mode. I scurried towards the door, past Adam’s prone body. The stranger was a few steps behind me but I was able to blast through the door before he could catch up.

I set myself in the direction of the bush past our tents, hoping I could lose him in there. That was the extent of my plan. I was halfway between the hall and our tents when the shovel crunched into my upper back.

Not wanting to let me escape, the stranger had flung himself for one last attack. In the process, he lost his grip on the shovel and it fell softly to the ground.

Despite being badly winded, I knew this was my chance. I turned around just as the stranger launched his hands and nails at my face. He dug his nails into my cheeks and started clawing at my face.

It felt like an animal attack, not something a human was capable of doing. I lowered my head and grabbed the front of his jacket. I was taller and heavier than him. I was also possessed now, wanting to see this fucker dead.

On my previous search for a rock, I knew there were a couple of decent ones around my tent. If I could push him on top of a tent, possibly get him tangled up, then I would have time to bash his head in.

I had a solid hold on him and flung him away from me. All my anger went into the push and he went flying in the direction of my tent.

He stumbled and then, once his feet hit the edge of the tent, fell back in a magnificent arc on top of my tent. There was a snapping sound as he fell to the ground. At first, I thought it was his arm or leg. But then I noticed the tent pole poking out near his stomach. Adam’s decade-old tent had come to the rescue, and one of the ancient aluminium poles had snapped and wedged itself through his lower back.

It all happened so quickly. He howled in rage and tried to lift his body off the pole, but I was there in an instant, rock in hand to hammer away at his face. I landed a dozen blows on his forehead before I dropped the rock and put my knee, and all my body weight, onto his neck.

He was barely conscious at this stage, and after a minute without breath, I was sure he wasn’t coming back.

I stepped away from his body and looked at what had just happened. Blood was pooling on my tent. Adrenaline was raging like crazy through my body and my arm was stinging.

The stranger looked almost peaceful now, even with the top of his head completely decimated. Our fight had lasted just longer than a minute, but it seemed like only a few seconds had gone by.

The bush surrounding our clearing was completely quiet as if nothing had changed in the last few minutes. I was at a loss at what to do next.

​

Adam! Shit. I rushed back into the hall to see my friend.

He was still lying on the ground, but his eyes were half-open. Blood, which had mainly erupted from his nose, had flooded onto the ground around him. I shook his shoulder and his eyes widened slightly.

“What happened? Where is he?” Adam said.

“He’s gone...I had to kill him. He was trying to kill both of us. He is outside on top of my tent.” I said.

Adam struggled up into a sitting position, and then with my help, made it to his feet. I grabbed a spare shirt out of my bag to clear away the dried blood around his face. I also got him four panadol to help with the pain. He said his head felt okay but I wasn’t so sure.

I wrapped a pair of underwear around the cut on my arm to stem the bleeding. We were both banged up but we knew we had to get out of here and call the police.

We left our backpacks in the hall and went back outside to the clearing.

I half expected the stranger to have magically disappeared, but he was still there. Adam looked at him from a distance, his face not registering any emotions.

He turned and started off in the direction of the car. I followed after one last look over the clearing.

The journey back took an hour and I had to lead Adam along as he kept feeling dizzy and wanting to rest. I wasn’t scared of the bush anymore. Snakes, spiders, whatever. They couldn’t compare to what we had just faced.

I got back into phone reception near the car and immediately called the cops.

They arrived just as I got back to the carpark.

They believed our story and took us to the station while another patrol went to scope out the campsite and retrieve the body. Adam had a checkup in hospital but was cleared of any major damage, save for an adjustment of his nose.

A week later we heard from the cops again. Turns out the weekend prior to our visit, the same guy had hassled a group of six guys who had camped overnight. But with the weight of numbers against him, he had taken a more mellow approach compared to when we had met him.

Who he was or what drove him to take up residence in a remote camping spot, we will never know. But I do know that I’ll never go camping in the bush again.

Anyone or anything could be out there, which makes it a much more dangerous place than the city.

submitted by /u/outtadaway [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2QWcmdf

#Blogger #Story

[hxbibibeats]

Novel Assignment 2

"I can’t dial a setting that stimulates my cerebral cortex into wanting to dial! If I don’t want to dial, I don’t want to dial that most of all, because then I will want to dial, and wanting to dial is right now the most alien drive I can imagine…..So I put it on my schedule for twice a month; I think that’s a reasonable amount of time to feel hopeless about everything". This quote shows the mindset of Iran Deckard. She does not enjoy having to artificially induce her emotions and knows the only way to help herself is by artificially inducing emotions. She feels hollow/empty despite her inability to feel negative emotions. To make herself feel “normal” and less hollow, she forcefully uses a machine to create negative emotions twice a month. Iran knows that having artificial positive emotions is no better than being an android herself and this is a way to keep her as “human” as possible.

"So although I heard the emptiness intellectually, I didn’t feel it. My first reaction consisted of being grateful that we could afford a Penfield mood organ. But then I realized how unhealthy it was, sensing the absence of life, not just in this building but everywhere, and not reacting—do you see?". People in this novel depend on a machine to control their emotions but Iran realizes how hollow it really is. They do not feel a certain emotion because they want to but they artificially induce emotional responses that would best suit specific scenarios. This quote is meant to show that people can be emotionally artificial just like robots.

"He wished to god he had a horse, in fact, any animal. Owning and maintaining a fraud had a way of gradually demoralizing one." Within the novel, there is a social hierarchy of the people who live on earth. Nature is almost completely destroyed on earth, so animals are very expensive. Those who own animals are seen as wealthy and have a high place within their social hierarchy. Those who cannot afford a real animal get robotic replicas of real animals, but they are looked down on by those with real animals. This is meant to show how people inherently have a love for nature and how people can take things such as nature and manipulate them to represent power, wealth etc.

"In addition, no one today remembered why the war had come about or who, if anyone, had won." This quote describes how the war that had destroyed most of the earth with nuclear war had no significant reason to happen or a reason that people have wilfully ignored throughout the years. People do not care why the war had happened but they only focus on what it has done to the earth. This may be showing that the cycle of war and bloodshed may happen again because people do not remember why it had happened.

"That had been the ultimate incentive of emigration: the android servant as carrot, the radioactive fallout as the stick. The U.N. had made it easy to emigrate, difficult if not impossible to stay. Loitering on Earth potentially meant finding oneself abruptly classed as biologically unacceptable, a menace to the pristine heredity of the race." This quote describes how most people had moved onto another colonized planet because of the UN’s incentive, but those who are suffering from radiation sickness have been left behind by the majority of the human population. This shows that most people did not want to leave earth but due to how bad the earth had become, the government needed to offer sentient robots for free, practically making them slaves for humankind.

"Once pegged as special, a citizen, even if accepting sterilization, dropped out of history. He ceased, in effect, to be part of mankind." Those who have radiation sickness or mental illness are cast out and left to rot on earth by the UN. Humanity wants to seem perfect as they want to leave behind all of their flaws back on earth. This shows how even in the aftermath of nuclear war, people will still be pretentious and will look down on those who are inferior to them.

"By then, naturally, he himself would be dead, another interesting event to anticipate as he stood here in his stricken living room alone with the lungless, all-penetrating, masterful world-silence." This quote emphasizes emptiness present throughout the novel and throughout the earth. There are barely any people left on earth, most people have artificially induced emotions and those with mental illness are left in isolation and considered the lowest within the social hierarchy. The author is trying to portray a desolate, lonely environment on earth.

"The visual image congealed; he saw at once a famous landscape, the old, brown, barren ascent, with tufts of dried-out bonelike weeds poking slantedly into a dim and sunless sky. One single figure, more or less human in form, toiled its way up the hillside: an elderly man wearing a dull, featureless robe, covering as meager as if it had been snatched from the hostile emptiness of the sky." This quote is meant to show how one man, Wilbur Mercer, is a large religious figure throughout the novel. He is the leader of a religion called Mercerism that believes humanity’s defining quality is empathy and it is what separates us from animals. This is meant to juxtapose how even though Mercer is preaching empathy, he and his followers all keep sentient androids as servants as if they are inferior to human beings with no regard for how they might feel.

"What do you do when a new resident moves in? Drop by and borrow something, is that how it’s done? He could not remember; this had never happened to him before, here or anywhere else: people moved out, people emigrated, but nobody ever moved in. You take them something, he decided. Like a cup of water or rather milk; yes, it’s milk or flour or maybe an egg—or, specifically, their ersatz substitutes." This quote is meant to show how the character, John Isidore, is suffering from some type of mental illness. He cannot properly interact with other people and has been cast out of fo society. His excitement for human interaction is very apparent because he is forced to live in isolation without any human contact.

“Holden,” he continued as he started off, “is in Mount Zion Hospital with a laser track through his spine. He’ll be there for a month at least. Until they can get one of those new organic plastic spinal sections to take hold.” This quote is meant to show how there are signs of some sort of android uprising/revolution against humans as they become increasingly hostile towards people, putting one police officer in the hospital. It shows that they do not want to be forcefully kept as servants and they want to be recognized as sentient beings.

"The Nexus-6 android types, Rick reflected, surpassed several classes of human specials in terms of intelligence. In other words, androids equipped with the new Nexus-6 brain unit had from a sort of rough, pragmatic, no-nonsense standpoint evolved beyond a major—but inferior—segment of mankind. For better or worse. The servant had in some cases become more adroit than its master" This quote shows that android technology has evolved to the point where they are more intelligent than some humans. This is significant as it shows that people with mental illness/disabilities are not seen as a part of mankind and even though androids are intelligent enough to be seen as their own sentient species etc. they are seen as nothing more than tools for humans to use.

"Empathy, evidently, existed only within the human community, whereas intelligence to some degree could be found throughout every phylum and order including the Arachnida…..As long as some creature experienced joy, then the condition for all other creatures included a fragment of joy. However, if any living being suffered, then for all the rest the shadow could not be entirely cast off." This quote is significant as it is the justification for the poor treatment of mentally ill people and the way to differentiate androids from humans. The world believes that empathy is what separates humans from animals and that androids are not capable of empathy. Humans are the only species that consider what other living creatures feel. Since many mentally ill people cannot feel empathy, they are not seen as human and since androids are not capable of empathy, they are not considered human or living either.

[samanthasmeyers]

How to Add Landing Page Services to Your Agency Offering (and Price Them)

As an agency owner, growing your revenue per account has a significant impact on your bottom line. The challenge is doing this while also producing considerable ROI upgrades for your clients. You want to knock their socks off and extend client lifetimes, sure, but that means you need to make every dollar they spend do twice the work.

That’s a tough ask. After all, a lot of agency time (and energy) gets spent optimizing traffic to the top of the funnel, but you can squeeze only so much out of it. So where’s the next best place to capture some low hanging fruit for the client?

By offering landing page and conversion optimization services, you can create wicked new growth opportunities for both you and your clients.

According to Jonathan Naccache of Montreal’s Webistry, offering landing page services let them accelerate client success:

It was a very natural decision that was born out of necessity. Optimizing on the ad/campaign level just isn’t enough these days, especially when you’re managing large ad spends. We simply needed to push the boundaries for our customers’ success, and this was the best thing.

As Webistry know well, landing pages let you deliver more mileage out of your existing campaigns and ad spend, something that the client may not have previously considered to be even possible.

Why Landing Page Services Are Your Next Win

A 2017 study from SoDA and Forrester asked agencies which strategies would have the most significant impact over the next 2-3 years. Though talent took the top spot, a whopping 47% said that “developing new services/capabilities” is key to their evolution.

Extending your menu of offerings can have significant effect on your agency’s growth (via Databox).

And, more importantly, their clients agree. This year, Hanapin Marketing’s State of PPC report asked brands what they wished agencies did better. 41% of them said “Innovative Techniques” (as in, “is my agency using the right tools or platforms?”) as their answer:

In short, your clients want you to be identifying new tools and techniques that can take their ROI into the stratosphere. That’s why offering landing pages and conversion optimization is such a killer opportunity for digital agencies.

The Benefits of Landing Pages

While you’re responsible for managing high impact campaigns, most often you’re handcuffed to using pages that don’t convert well, limiting campaign performance. Website traffic ends up exploring, not converting.

Instead, all of that hard earned—and, let’s face it, increasingly expensive—traffic should be sent to a dedicated landing page focused on one thing and one thing only: conversion.

Andrew Miller of Workshop Digital puts it this way:

If you’re not converting traffic into leads, then you’re just spending more and more money and you’re not getting better and better results. You’re not getting that compounding effect that landing pages provide.

When you offer landing pages and conversion optimization as a service to your clients, you gain control over campaign assets. You can quickly test, optimize, and iterate on campaigns. And, most importantly, you can build and manage pages without relying on the client, scoring higher conversion rates with a lower cost-per-lead.

This earns you account growth, client loyalty, and shared ROI.

(Is win-win-win a thing? Because it should be.)

Join Ty Lingley at the Marketing Agency Growth Accelerator Summit on May 16, 2019. Learn everything about adding landing page and conversion optimization services to your agency’s offerings. Grab your free ticket to this online event.

What to Offer with Landing Page Services

There are two components to this new service: building high-converting landing pages and conversion optimization.

The first is landing page creation. This is the primary service, complementary to the top of funnel campaigns that you’re already running. You’ll be offering the ability to get more leads and sales from the same campaigns—and the same spend—because landing pages convert better than a website.

Landing pages allow you to better match your content and call to action to the ads you’re running, and they eliminate extraneous links and other distractions that confuse your prospective customers. With a drag-and-drop builder like Unbounce, you can also create them much more quickly than pages on a traditional website.

But do they work? You betcha. Unbounce’s latest analysis found that landing pages convert on average 65% better than websites.

The second service you’ll offer is conversion optimization. This is a value-add or upsell to landing page creation that provides ongoing gains. A/B testing is the basic function here, allowing you to continue testing different variants of the landing page to produce better and better conversion rates for your clients.

Try out different headlines or copy, swap out the hero image, tweak the offer, strip down lead gen forms, and more. You can use Unbounce’s Test Centre to gather all the information you need to make smart decisions based on data instead of your gut (or your clients’ whims).

If a landing page creates immediate results, conversion optimization lets you show your clients a delightful ROI graph that trends ever upward.

It’s an essential tool in capturing and keeping clients.

EDITOR’S NOTE. Want to see conversion optimization in action? Read about how ConversionLab’s Rolf Inge Holden (aka Finge) delivers amazing results to clients by running in-depth experiments using Unbounce’s Dynamic Text Replacement.

How to Prove the Value of This Service

Keep in mind that your clients may not even be aware you can do all this for them. (It can seem a little like magic that way.) So, despite the value, the pitch on these new services can come with a common objection:

“What about the website I already spent thousands of dollars on? Why would you build a new page and test that when I already have a website?”

To which the reply might be, “Do you know how well your website is converting compared to your competitors? Are you able to easily update your website and that conversion rate without dedicating developer or IT resources?”

But telling them about these services is not enough. You need to show them where they have a problem and what you can do about it. Here are two tips to help you do just that:

Use our landing page analyzer to show them how that website or current traffic destination is performing across nine categories. The report will give them personalized, actionable tactics to increase conversion. (Send the report to yourself first, then write them a separate email including the report to show you’ve done your homework and offer the recommendations as a service.)

Include one A/B test free with the first landing page you build them. At the end of the first reporting period, show them that you ran traffic to two landing page variants (A and B), show them the winner, and tell them why that variant converted better. Offer to continue conversion optimization services equipped with these results.

Online Marketing Agency Growth Accelerator Summit on May 16, 2019

Join Ty Lingley and learn everything about adding landing page and conversion optimization services to your agency’s offerings. Grab your free ticket to this online event.

What Kind of Agencies Should Consider Doing This, Specifically?

This sounds great and all, but is it right for my agency?

If you’re a PPC, SEO, or social shop, you’re well positioned to offer landing page and conversion optimization services. Your clients trust you to help them get better campaign performance, and a huge part of that equation is improving conversion.

Landing page services fit that goal beautifully because they help you get more out of that targeted top of funnel traffic you’re producing—without increasing ad spend.

If you cater to ecommerce clients, landing pages help you quickly test new product or business ideas pre-launch, offer limited time or seasonal campaigns, target particular locations, demographics, or social channels, and build pages fast without relying on a developer or the restrictions of their online store builder.

Well, who should be performing these services at my agency?

That depends on the size of your agency and how you’re structured, but Unbounce was founded on the principle that marketers should be able to build and test custom landing pages without the need for IT or devs.

Using Unbounce, you can easily match your clients’ brand and get their landing page up and running without running into developer roadblocks. In an ideal world, the person (or people) at your agency closest to the client’s business and value proposition should ideally create the landing page. We’ve built our tool with that in mind.

Have any questions? Want to know more? Ty will be talking more about offering landing page services to your clients at the Marketing Agency Growth Accelerator Summit on May 16, 2019. Grab your free ticket to this online event.

How Should I Charge for Landing Page Services?

We’ve seen our agency customers come at this in a variety of ways, each with successful results, but there are two common ways to charge your clients. To decide, you’ll want to understand the extent of the services you want to offer. The model you use will also be dependent on the types of clients you’re working with, and whether you wish to consider landing page management a staple service retainer or an add-on.

Charge on a per landing page basis

If your client is new to the landing page game (or doesn’t require more than a few landing pages) charging on a per page basis makes sense.

However, not all landing pages are created equal.

If your client wants to run custom forms, integrate with other tools like a CRM or marketing automation, or add custom scripts, that’s going to take time. As such, we’ve seen agencies charge anywhere from $200-2,000 per landing page depending on the complexity, time to build, and add ons.

Include Unbounce service in your retainer fee

For agencies that work on a retainer model, a common practice is to incorporate the agency fees for Unbounce into your initial retainer. In order to do this effectively, you’ll need to determine the level of service that you can build into your flat rate. But do this without undervaluing any custom work you might have to do. You may or may not choose to add Unbounce as a line item.

Webistry, for instance, charges flat rates for their landing pages that varies based on whether it’s for lead generation or ecomm, the length of the page, and any additional functionality needed. For conversion optimization, it varies depending on the A/B testing requirements, monthly traffic, and the number of campaigns.

Regardless of your approach, determining the level of service required should always come first. (via Hal Gatewood on Unsplash)

Get your client their own Unbounce account

If your client expresses a desire to have control and ownership over the assets you’re creating for them or runs into internal security issues that require them to be the account owners, then getting them their own account makes the most sense. This option is also smart if your client decides to leave you and wants to transfer their landing pages to a new account.

If you’re part of our Partner Program, you can offer your client a free trial as well as 20% off their first three months with Unbounce. In turn, you’ll earn 20% of the recurring revenue for the lifetime of the client, as long as they’re a customer of Unbounce. You can read more about becoming a Partner here. We’ve made it easy.

Capture New Opportunities with Landing Pages

When it comes to your agency business, increasing retention—and growing your revenue—is earned through delivering better campaign performance to your clients.

This is hard to do well when their website doesn’t convert well, but landing pages let you drive traffic to a place designed specifically for conversion. And when you add Unbounce landing pages to your menu of services, you’re also adding conversion optimization, page design, user experience, campaign analytics, and development capabilities—all without needing a designer or developer.

Naccache agrees:

We were able to showcase without a doubt the lift in performance for our customers. It happened immediately and with data to back it all up. This lead to better retention rates and stronger retainers. More so, it differentiated us from our competitors.

We were equipped to talk about optimizing the entire customer journey and brought up points/strategies that piqued the prospect customer’s interest. Doing so also meant an additional stream of revenue, which can’t be ignored.

For your clients, these services are a compelling new opportunity to increase the ROI on the campaigns you’re already running for them. And for you, it’s a chance to impress, retain clients longer, and grow your business.

Feel free to ask me any questions you have in the comments, or chat with an Unbounce agency specialist to learn more about how we can help you make it happen.

from Marketing https://unbounce.com/marketing-agencies/how-to-price-landing-page-services/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#Digital Marketing

[itsjessicaisreal]

How to Add Landing Page Services to Your Agency Offering (and Price Them)

As an agency owner, growing your revenue per account has a significant impact on your bottom line. The challenge is doing this while also producing considerable ROI upgrades for your clients. You want to knock their socks off and extend client lifetimes, sure, but that means you need to make every dollar they spend do twice the work.

That’s a tough ask. After all, a lot of agency time (and energy) gets spent optimizing traffic to the top of the funnel, but you can squeeze only so much out of it. So where’s the next best place to capture some low hanging fruit for the client?

By offering landing page and conversion optimization services, you can create wicked new growth opportunities for both you and your clients.

According to Jonathan Naccache of Montreal’s Webistry, offering landing page services let them accelerate client success:

It was a very natural decision that was born out of necessity. Optimizing on the ad/campaign level just isn’t enough these days, especially when you’re managing large ad spends. We simply needed to push the boundaries for our customers’ success, and this was the best thing.

As Webistry know well, landing pages let you deliver more mileage out of your existing campaigns and ad spend, something that the client may not have previously considered to be even possible.

Why Landing Page Services Are Your Next Win

A 2017 study from SoDA and Forrester asked agencies which strategies would have the most significant impact over the next 2-3 years. Though talent took the top spot, a whopping 47% said that “developing new services/capabilities” is key to their evolution.

Extending your menu of offerings can have significant effect on your agency’s growth (via Databox).

And, more importantly, their clients agree. This year, Hanapin Marketing’s State of PPC report asked brands what they wished agencies did better. 41% of them said “Innovative Techniques” (as in, “is my agency using the right tools or platforms?”) as their answer:

In short, your clients want you to be identifying new tools and techniques that can take their ROI into the stratosphere. That’s why offering landing pages and conversion optimization is such a killer opportunity for digital agencies.

The Benefits of Landing Pages

While you’re responsible for managing high impact campaigns, most often you’re handcuffed to using pages that don’t convert well, limiting campaign performance. Website traffic ends up exploring, not converting.

Instead, all of that hard earned—and, let’s face it, increasingly expensive—traffic should be sent to a dedicated landing page focused on one thing and one thing only: conversion.

Andrew Miller of Workshop Digital puts it this way:

If you’re not converting traffic into leads, then you’re just spending more and more money and you’re not getting better and better results. You’re not getting that compounding effect that landing pages provide.

When you offer landing pages and conversion optimization as a service to your clients, you gain control over campaign assets. You can quickly test, optimize, and iterate on campaigns. And, most importantly, you can build and manage pages without relying on the client, scoring higher conversion rates with a lower cost-per-lead.

This earns you account growth, client loyalty, and shared ROI.

(Is win-win-win a thing? Because it should be.)

Join Ty Lingley at the Marketing Agency Growth Accelerator Summit on May 16, 2019. Learn everything about adding landing page and conversion optimization services to your agency’s offerings. Grab your free ticket to this online event.

What to Offer with Landing Page Services

There are two components to this new service: building high-converting landing pages and conversion optimization.

The first is landing page creation. This is the primary service, complementary to the top of funnel campaigns that you’re already running. You’ll be offering the ability to get more leads and sales from the same campaigns—and the same spend—because landing pages convert better than a website.

Landing pages allow you to better match your content and call to action to the ads you’re running, and they eliminate extraneous links and other distractions that confuse your prospective customers. With a drag-and-drop builder like Unbounce, you can also create them much more quickly than pages on a traditional website.

But do they work? You betcha. Unbounce’s latest analysis found that landing pages convert on average 65% better than websites.

The second service you’ll offer is conversion optimization. This is a value-add or upsell to landing page creation that provides ongoing gains. A/B testing is the basic function here, allowing you to continue testing different variants of the landing page to produce better and better conversion rates for your clients.

Try out different headlines or copy, swap out the hero image, tweak the offer, strip down lead gen forms, and more. You can use Unbounce’s Test Centre to gather all the information you need to make smart decisions based on data instead of your gut (or your clients’ whims).

If a landing page creates immediate results, conversion optimization lets you show your clients a delightful ROI graph that trends ever upward.

It’s an essential tool in capturing and keeping clients.

EDITOR’S NOTE. Want to see conversion optimization in action? Read about how ConversionLab’s Rolf Inge Holden (aka Finge) delivers amazing results to clients by running in-depth experiments using Unbounce’s Dynamic Text Replacement.

How to Prove the Value of This Service

Keep in mind that your clients may not even be aware you can do all this for them. (It can seem a little like magic that way.) So, despite the value, the pitch on these new services can come with a common objection:

“What about the website I already spent thousands of dollars on? Why would you build a new page and test that when I already have a website?”

To which the reply might be, “Do you know how well your website is converting compared to your competitors? Are you able to easily update your website and that conversion rate without dedicating developer or IT resources?”

But telling them about these services is not enough. You need to show them where they have a problem and what you can do about it. Here are two tips to help you do just that:

Use our landing page analyzer to show them how that website or current traffic destination is performing across nine categories. The report will give them personalized, actionable tactics to increase conversion. (Send the report to yourself first, then write them a separate email including the report to show you’ve done your homework and offer the recommendations as a service.)

Include one A/B test free with the first landing page you build them. At the end of the first reporting period, show them that you ran traffic to two landing page variants (A and B), show them the winner, and tell them why that variant converted better. Offer to continue conversion optimization services equipped with these results.

Online Marketing Agency Growth Accelerator Summit on May 16, 2019

Join Ty Lingley and learn everything about adding landing page and conversion optimization services to your agency’s offerings. Grab your free ticket to this online event.

What Kind of Agencies Should Consider Doing This, Specifically?

This sounds great and all, but is it right for my agency?

If you’re a PPC, SEO, or social shop, you’re well positioned to offer landing page and conversion optimization services. Your clients trust you to help them get better campaign performance, and a huge part of that equation is improving conversion.

Landing page services fit that goal beautifully because they help you get more out of that targeted top of funnel traffic you’re producing—without increasing ad spend.

If you cater to ecommerce clients, landing pages help you quickly test new product or business ideas pre-launch, offer limited time or seasonal campaigns, target particular locations, demographics, or social channels, and build pages fast without relying on a developer or the restrictions of their online store builder.

Well, who should be performing these services at my agency?

That depends on the size of your agency and how you’re structured, but Unbounce was founded on the principle that marketers should be able to build and test custom landing pages without the need for IT or devs.

Using Unbounce, you can easily match your clients’ brand and get their landing page up and running without running into developer roadblocks. In an ideal world, the person (or people) at your agency closest to the client’s business and value proposition should ideally create the landing page. We’ve built our tool with that in mind.

Have any questions? Want to know more? Ty will be talking more about offering landing page services to your clients at the Marketing Agency Growth Accelerator Summit on May 16, 2019. Grab your free ticket to this online event.

How Should I Charge for Landing Page Services?

We’ve seen our agency customers come at this in a variety of ways, each with successful results, but there are two common ways to charge your clients. To decide, you’ll want to understand the extent of the services you want to offer. The model you use will also be dependent on the types of clients you’re working with, and whether you wish to consider landing page management a staple service retainer or an add-on.

Charge on a per landing page basis

If your client is new to the landing page game (or doesn’t require more than a few landing pages) charging on a per page basis makes sense.

However, not all landing pages are created equal.

If your client wants to run custom forms, integrate with other tools like a CRM or marketing automation, or add custom scripts, that’s going to take time. As such, we’ve seen agencies charge anywhere from $200-2,000 per landing page depending on the complexity, time to build, and add ons.

Include Unbounce service in your retainer fee

For agencies that work on a retainer model, a common practice is to incorporate the agency fees for Unbounce into your initial retainer. In order to do this effectively, you’ll need to determine the level of service that you can build into your flat rate. But do this without undervaluing any custom work you might have to do. You may or may not choose to add Unbounce as a line item.

Webistry, for instance, charges flat rates for their landing pages that varies based on whether it’s for lead generation or ecomm, the length of the page, and any additional functionality needed. For conversion optimization, it varies depending on the A/B testing requirements, monthly traffic, and the number of campaigns.

Regardless of your approach, determining the level of service required should always come first. (via Hal Gatewood on Unsplash)

Get your client their own Unbounce account

If your client expresses a desire to have control and ownership over the assets you’re creating for them or runs into internal security issues that require them to be the account owners, then getting them their own account makes the most sense. This option is also smart if your client decides to leave you and wants to transfer their landing pages to a new account.

If you’re part of our Partner Program, you can offer your client a free trial as well as 20% off their first three months with Unbounce. In turn, you’ll earn 20% of the recurring revenue for the lifetime of the client, as long as they’re a customer of Unbounce. You can read more about becoming a Partner here. We’ve made it easy.

Capture New Opportunities with Landing Pages

When it comes to your agency business, increasing retention—and growing your revenue—is earned through delivering better campaign performance to your clients.

This is hard to do well when their website doesn’t convert well, but landing pages let you drive traffic to a place designed specifically for conversion. And when you add Unbounce landing pages to your menu of services, you’re also adding conversion optimization, page design, user experience, campaign analytics, and development capabilities—all without needing a designer or developer.

Naccache agrees:

We were able to showcase without a doubt the lift in performance for our customers. It happened immediately and with data to back it all up. This lead to better retention rates and stronger retainers. More so, it differentiated us from our competitors.

We were equipped to talk about optimizing the entire customer journey and brought up points/strategies that piqued the prospect customer’s interest. Doing so also meant an additional stream of revenue, which can’t be ignored.

For your clients, these services are a compelling new opportunity to increase the ROI on the campaigns you’re already running for them. And for you, it’s a chance to impress, retain clients longer, and grow your business.

Feel free to ask me any questions you have in the comments, or chat with an Unbounce agency specialist to learn more about how we can help you make it happen.

from Marketing https://unbounce.com/marketing-agencies/how-to-price-landing-page-services/ via http://www.rssmix.com/