#def not for next session but it’s a very silly idea

[adoranoia]

y’know how i put a tl;dr of my general hcs for yuri in one big hc dump to expand on later? well, i’m doing it again, this time with miss sayori–let’s do this, yall!

*her parents are actually lovely ppl, (unlike yuri’s rip), it’s just their situation sucks, you know? i’ll make a more fleshed out post abt this later, but. well, tl;dr ???– *her dad is. very sick, he’d been in-and-out of hospitals for varying periods of time, eventually settling with home visits/care instead. which leaves her mom, often out working til the late at night and generally stressed out as she tries to keep a roof over her families heads, and pay medical bills in the same breath. *and that’s probably a big reason why sayori is. the way she is, bc she’s used to putting on that happy/brave face around her family, considering their situation. both to try and help them, and also to not stress any of them out further tbh?

*her love of literature surprisingly started young–telling scary stories at sleepovers, reading fairytales, playing pretend, making silly ocs, etc etc. she’s rlly good at improv + quickly brainstorming ideas, and. nowadays, she’s really into dnd and similar things. *she has a dnd group that has sessions online, since that was easier on her w/ her depression. but even that’s too much for her sometimes, she tries, though.

*since her room is on the second floor, when she wants to relax/be alone with her thoughts, she’ll climb out her window and sit on the bit of the roof underneath. *when her and MC were kids, they’d sit out there together and stargaze, but they haven’t done that in… years. but sayori still remembers it, and thinks of it fondly. *collects a lot of little enamel pins, stickers, action figures, and comic books! probably has a ita schoolbag and a flip phone with a cutesy charm attached.

*has a goldfish named ‘kerria’, her and MC rescued (by which i mean stole) them from a kingyo sukui booth at a festival when they were kids, around ten or so. *it was getting late, so the booth was getting taken down for the day, and there was only one (1) fish left, and. sayori was worried abt what would happen to them, so! she scooped them into a fish bag, while MC kept the stall keeper distracted. *let’s be real if they had just asked the guy about it, they most likely would’ve gotten the fish with a lot less fuss, but. hey, it’s a fun memory at least, ok…

*sayori was on the track team throughout junior high, but backed out before entering senior high, both bc of a low point in her depression + being stressed out in general. she spent the next few years hopping from club 2 club, trying 2 find somewhere she belonged once again. *but, well. she’d always end up getting kicked out after a few days, if she wasn’t outright turned away because of that unlucky reputation. *almost setting the cooking club on fire, trying to act out a scene and accidentally hitting s/b while gesturing in the drama club, tripping and falling into some of the newly finished pieces in the art club, etc etc. *she was. tbh, ready to just give up and attend the go home club instead, when monika suddenly approached her about the newly forming literature club! 👀👀👀

*sayori has a habit of doodling on anything she can get her hands on, her desk, her schoolwork, her skin, etc etc. she finds the action of scribbling away v relaxing. *it’s a good way 2 keep her mind off whatever might be bothering her, and it keeps her fidgety hands busy, y'know? her art is pretty decent too, round, cartoony and colorful, wouldn’t look out of a place in a kid’s book or something, to be honest! *being a comic book fan, she also draws her own sometimes, short ones mostly starring herself and her clubmates, about any misadventures they might have! *there’s def one abt the ‘wine incident’……………………………………………..

*sayori taught herself how 2 play ukulele as a tween, but her interest and will to practice slowly fizzled out as she got older. until recently that is, she’s started playing again w/ support from a certain club president! *sometimes, when one of them is having a particularly bad day, sayori and monika will skip class and hang out in the school’s music room, play s/t together, and talk about whatever comes to mind.

*sayori’s feelings on monika post-game (in the good ending) are… complicated, esp after becoming club president and dealing w/ all the self-aware stuff first hand. like, she understands it, in a way? *is she still mad/upset? obviously, they were friends, or at least sayori thought they were, but monika still… y'know. but after becoming club president herself? she gets it! because it kinda sucks! like a lot! so, cool motive, still shitty, but sayori does forgive monika in the end. *but, also: she isn’t sure if her forgiveness would even mean anything to monika, bc. does she still see them as ‘just code’, or what? i mean she brought them back for a reason, but… who knows. sayori hopes it’d make her feel a little better, at least. she misses her sometimes.

*she likes video games, even if she doesn’t play them as often as MC, she WILL kick ur ass in super smash bros + mario kart, and likes animal crossing. also, there’s an arcade in town, she’s the highest score on a lot of their games. *learning to bake from natsuki, but still can’t cook worth a damn–can and will eat breakfast stuff 4 every meal if u let her. (also rlly likes cheap gas station slushies) *has lots of little rituals, like not stepping on sidewalk cracks, sorting candy by colors before eating them, making wishes @ 11:11, etc etc. it might seem silly to others, but it rlly does bother her when she can’t complete them for w/e reason. *likes making braided bracelets bc she finds the repetitive task calming, has most def made the rest of the club + MC ofc friendship bracelets, all in their 'main color’. (blue for her, green for monika, pink for natsuki, purple for yuri, and red for MC.)

*sayori is a earring bisexual, has lots of funky ones she switches them out everyday or so, having special pairs for holidays and such.she often makes a lot of them herself, with her crafty skillz™.

#* && OOC #* && SAYORI /// ALOOF; KOOKY ! #my fave gorl.................. #illness tw #long post tw

[clubmates-a]

y’know how i put a tl;dr of my general hcs for yuri in one big hc dump to expand on later? well, i’m doing it again, this time with miss sayori–let’s do this, yall! <3

>her parents are actually lovely ppl, (unlike yuri’s rip), it’s just their situation sucks, you know? i’ll make a more fleshed out post abt this later, but. well, tl;dr ???– >her dad is. very sick, he’d been in-and-out of hospitals for varying periods of time, eventually settling with home visits/care instead. which leaves her mom, often out working til the late at night and generally stressed out as she tries to keep a roof over her families heads, and pay medical bills in the same breath. >and that’s probably a big reason why sayori is. the way she is, bc she’s used to putting on that happy/brave face around her family, considering their situation. both to try and help them, and also to not stress any of them out further tbh?

>her love of literature surprisingly started young–telling scary stories at sleepovers, reading fairytales, playing pretend, making silly ocs, etc etc. she’s rlly good at improv + quickly brainstorming ideas, and. nowadays, she’s really into dnd and similar things. >she has a dnd group that has sessions online, since that was easier on her w/ her depression. but even that’s too much for her sometimes, she tries, though.

>since her room is on the second floor, when she wants to relax/be alone with her thoughts, she’ll climb out her window and sit on the bit of the roof underneath. >when her and MC were kids, they’d sit out there together and stargaze, but they haven’t done that in… years. but sayori still remembers it, and thinks of it fondly. >collects a lot of little enamel pins, stickers, action figures, and comic books! probably has a ita schoolbag and a flip phone with a cutesy charm attached.

>has a goldfish named ‘kerria’, her and MC rescued (by which i mean stole) them from a kingyo sukui booth at a festival when they were kids, around ten or so. >it was getting late, so the booth was getting taken down for the day, and there was only one (1) fish left, and. sayori was worried abt what would happen to them, so! she scooped them into a fish bag, while MC kept the stall keeper distracted. >let’s be real if they had just asked the guy about it, they most likely would’ve gotten the fish with a lot less fuss, but. hey, it’s a fun memory at least, ok…

>sayori was on the track team throughout junior high, but backed out before entering senior high, both bc of a low point in her depression + being stressed out in general. she spent the next few years hopping from club 2 club, trying 2 find somewhere she belonged once again. >but, well. she’d always end up getting kicked out after a few days, if she wasn’t outright turned away because of that unlucky reputation. >almost setting the cooking club on fire, trying to act out a scene and accidentally hitting s/b while gesturing in the drama club, tripping and falling into some of the newly finished pieces in the art club, etc etc. >she was. tbh, ready to just give up and attend the go home club instead, when monika suddenly approached her about the newly forming literature club! 👀👀👀

>sayori has a habit of doodling on anything she can get her hands on, her desk, her schoolwork, her skin, etc etc. she finds the action of scribbling away v relaxing. >it’s a good way 2 keep her mind off whatever might be bothering her, and it keeps her fidgety hands busy, y'know? her art is pretty decent too, round, cartoony and colorful, wouldn’t look out of a place in a kid’s book or something, to be honest! >being a comic book fan, she also draws her own sometimes, short ones mostly starring herself and her clubmates, about any misadventures they might have! >there’s def one abt the 'wine incident’……………………………....................

>sayori taught herself how 2 play ukulele as a tween, but her interest and will to practice slowly fizzled out as she got older. until recently that is, she’s started playing again w/ support from a certain club president! >sometimes, when one of them is having a particularly bad day, sayori and monika will skip class and hang out in the school’s music room, play s/t together, and talk about whatever comes to mind.

>sayori’s feelings on monika post-game (in the good ending) are… complicated, esp after becoming club president and dealing w/ all the self-aware stuff first hand. like, she understands it, in a way? >is she still mad/upset? obviously, they were friends, or at least sayori thought they were, but monika still… y'know. but after becoming club president herself? she gets it! because it kinda sucks! like a lot! so, cool motive, still shitty, but sayori does forgive monika in the end. >but, also: she isn’t sure if her forgiveness would even mean anything to monika, bc. does she still see them as ‘just code’, or what? i mean she brought them back for a reason, but… who knows. sayori hopes it’d make her feel a little better, at least. she misses her sometimes.

>she likes video games, even if she doesn’t play them as often as MC, she WILL kick ur ass in super smash bros + mario kart, and likes animal crossing. also, there’s an arcade in town, she’s the highest score on a lot of their games. >learning to bake from natsuki, but still can’t cook worth a damn–can and will eat breakfast stuff 4 every meal if u let her. (also rlly likes cheap gas station slushies) >has lots of little rituals, like not stepping on sidewalk cracks, sorting candy by colors before eating them, making wishes @ 11:11, etc etc. it might seem silly to others, but it rlly does bother her when she can’t complete them for w/e reason. >likes making braided bracelets bc she finds the repetitive task calming, has most def made the rest of the club + MC ofc friendship bracelets, all in their 'main color’. (blue for sayori, green for monika, pink for natsuki, purple for yuri, and red for MC.)

>sayori is a earring gay, she has lots of funky ones she switches out everyday or so, having special pairs for holidays and such. she often makes a lot of them herself, with her crafty skillz(tm).

#* && OOC #* && SAYORI /// ALOOF; KOOKY ! #my fave gorl.................. #illness tw #long post tw

[kcatta-wodahs]

Trans, Enby, or anything not Cis MC + OM Demon Bros!

TLDR; they all fuckin love you okay you’re wonderful

Lucifer

It happens right away honestly, as he is your introduction to Devildom 

You arrive suddenly in the student council, with no fucking warning, and with a bunch of people who are saying they’re demons. And like yeah okay sorcery obviously exists in your world so we can work with this but

He looks at a file, and states your deadname, and in a fit of bravery or just “i guess im here now” you correct him. 

The silence after that is palpable and every negative emotion you’re feeling as you wait shows up on your face. 

Lucifer only has a slight frown, looking at the paper, and at you, before it clears.

“Oh. Humans. I understand.” He marks something on the paper, and repeats your name. Your real name.

“Should I assume that the pronouns listed are incorrect as well?”

He calls for a RAD uniform that you’re most comfortable with, while Diavolo gushes over “HUMAN!!!”

Okay, cool, you’re hanging with demons now but at least they respect your pronouns? Guess this is your life. Your next question is whether you’re dead lol

So he knows the whole time, but it doesn’t change a thing! He loves you the same.

When you’re closer, he is very to-the-point about caring for you when you’re feeling dysphoric.

He offers you tips, makes sure you maintain your voice training even if you’re embarrassed about it, and always pushes you to express yourself how you want.

Hell maybe they use that princely riches to get you whatever surgeries you might want!

And he will *very clearly* show you how much he likes your body, however it is. 

After all, by the end of the game you belong to him, don’t you?

Mammon

When he's first assigned to be your guardian or whatever in Devildom, he didn't get the memo. 

Didn't read the paperwork, cause he's just like me and puts off homework for way too long.

So he doesn't know these pronouns of yours that Lucifer has fixed in the documentation.

Which means, unfortunately, you have to correct him when he first speaks to Levi about you.

What's funny about it is that he'll complain about LITERALLY EVERYTHING having to do with you and you being a human and UGH he has to take care of a FRAGILE HUMAN

But when you correct the pronouns he doesn't even fucking blink.

You don't even explain.

You just say the correct pronoun after he messes up, and then he repeats you and *continues complaining about you* but this time in the correct pronouns.

This is the first moment out of a million of "hidden endearing things about Mammon" that you will come to learn.

Later, when you're closer, he will always be there to stand up for you and put up a fight if anyone wants to give you shit.

He will defend you to the end of time. 

And he adores you. If he -- The Great Mammon -- adores you, then you must be perfect. So you can tell your stupid human brain to stuff it with the negative talk.

Leviathan

This one is written as AFAB

When you deny wearing the Ruri-chan dress for him, he's sad.

He KNEW you thought he was weird… and his thing for Ruri-chan was weird… and weirddmmm

So, you hesitantly tell him that… no, truly its not because of Ruri-chan

You just.. feel so sick when wearing dresses.

Something in you physically hurts, and you feel so *wrong* when in a situation where you're supposed to act "girly".

And you tell him that you don't really identify as female. You try to avoid that image whenever you can.

Levi is so touched that you would tell him and be honest with him.

He hugs you tightly and then turns beet red.

"D-Does that mean that you m-might.. kabedon… as Henry….?"

Cause he has that costume too and has never told anyone that he def would be seduced by his TSL hero.

You can get behind that one, and seeing how flustered he gets around you being yourself (through Henry?) has your confidence skyrocketing

This makes way to you flirting with ya boi 100% more often to see his adorable face.

Beelzebub

You go with him to work out, which is nothing really new, but this time he's looking at doing endurance training

...by swimming.

You have no idea what to do. 

He didn't think twice about it, either. He didn't assume there would be any problem at all. 

But for some reason your brain decided that his helpful and loving attitude wouldn't extend to this? Brains are silly when scared.

You try not to tear up when he questions why you've frozen in the doorway when he told you his plan.

You have no reason to be ashamed, or fearful, but the suddenness of the moment overwhelms you.

"I can't wear a swimsuit," is what comes out.

He pauses and then just looked vastly confused. He thought humans could swim..? Anyone could wear a swimsuit. You were wearing clothes right? What's the difference?

You wrap your arms around yourself, tryiing to soothe your nerves. "It's.. It shows too much.."

Then he looks you over, causing you to blush further, and he tips his head. "But you look nice."

Well if you weren't blushing before, now you definitely were. But it's not that. You hold your breath.

You try to explain without actually saying it, almost as if the word transgender has been blocked from your internal vocabulary. 

But this babe just insists that you look great no matter what. Is it scars? Like everyone here has scars, it's okay. Weird toes? You should see Belphie's. There's a reason he wears socks all the time. 

That almost makes you giggle, and you use that courage to say that you're trans.

He pauses for just a seond to blink. "Oh... nobody cares about that here."

He pulls you into a hug while you struggle for words. He tells you that you don't have to go swimming if you don't want to.

But he makes sure you know that he thinks you're wonderful. You're strong and brave and amazing. He will fight anyone who makes you feel differently. 

Asmodeus

This one is AMAB

It’s seeing Asmo be unequivocally himself that gives you the courage to do it.

You haven’t even told your human friends yet. Your human family.

You’ve known for ages, but..

Seeing Asmo flounce over to you wearing the most STUNNING evening dress has you weak at the knees, for reasons other than he assumes.

He assumes that you’re wildly in love as you duck your head and try to mumble something through your shaking breaths, and of course, who wouldn’t be?

But when he coaxes you to speak up for him, delight of a whole different kind lights up in his expression.

“Could you… make me as pretty as you?”

Oh, darling, he wouldn’t even need to try.

He dolls you up, hosting a lovely makeover session in his room. What he doesn’t expect is for you to start crying when you look at yourself in the mirror.

Asmo’s unshakeable confidence is shaken. He rushes over to you, trying to brush away tears and learning what’s wrong.

That’s when you tell him what you’d been hiding for so long.

The adoration in his eyes catches you off guard, and he takes your hands lovingly. “Oh, honey..” he mumbles, affectionate and sweet instead of seductive. “What’s your name?”

He takes you out shopping the next day, and is always ready to help you be yourself. 

He makes the switch almost instantly, and calls you the prettiest thing he’s ever seen even when you’re just waking up in the morning and kind of feel like a toad. 

(You blame him for those mornings, though, since he’s the one working so hard to *thoroughly* exhaust you the night before.)

Satan

This one is AFAB

You and Satan have begun meeting rather often for tea. 

It’s even gotten to the point where you’re both perfectly happy to sit in silence around each other. You’ve never been more comfortable.

But today, chaos reigns, and it has decided to make you clumsy today. Not even like, oh “that’s reasonable” clumsy.

No, you were enthralled in your fucking book, and you MISSED. 

Tea, all down your chin and neck, and you hear a snort of derision.

Satan is looking at you, very clearly amused. “Very graceful.”

You huff and puff out your cheeks at him to prevent from blushing. “Shut up. Do you have a towel?”

Looking no less amused, he just pulls a new shirt from the dresser behind him and offers it to you. 

You guys are chill. Good friends. Like. You don’t want to get up to go find a bathroom to change in. Your book is good and like Satan’s not about to be a creep, so you ask if it’s cool if you just change there, and he shrugs in response.

So, you swap shirts quickly, but when you’re dry he’s looking at you curiously.

“You have battle scars.”

You realize that you’d never told him. About your past, or your surgery, and you suddenly feel very self-conscious. 

“It’s- .. Not exactly,” you fumble out, realizing that now, instead of finishing your amazing book, you have to deal with *coming out?* Ughhhhhh. “They’re from a surgery.”

Satan’s eyes don’t leave you. “I’ve read enough about the human world to know what they are,” he said, then he nods to himself. “I didn’t know you’d had such a fight.”

You are either very, very impressed or very, very confused and you really don’t know which to lean towards just yet. 

“I’ve never been in a battle, Satan.”

“You fought to become yourself,” he answered, a small smile tracing his lips. “You never cease to impress me.”

Belphegor

The best part about becoming best friends with Belphie is the snuggle naps. It's the sweetest, calmest thing.

He is a little confused about why you insist on hugging a pillow when you nap with him, though.

He admits, its adorable. When he's big spoon he loves looking at you as you snuggle the big fluffy pillow. 

When he wants to face you, though, he wants to be closer, he doesn't really understand it. He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable but also.. why?

Eventually, he tries to get answers out of you by teasing you about getting closer *intimately*. 

He does expect the blush.

He doesn't expect the look of despair that you hide from him.

He's stunned for a moment before demanding to know why the hell you would look so sad about that.

You try to shake it off, but Belphie's nothing if not persistent and annoying when he wants to be.

He learns that you have been trying really hard for months now to hide your body from him. To keep your personal info private, even while snuggling. 

You didn't know how he would take it, after all. 

What if he got something he wasn't expecting?

Honestly, Belphie sulks after hearing this. He flicks your forehead and glares at you for doubting him. 

But he looks you dead in the eyes and reminds you that you could never convince him you were anything less than perfect.

If you expected him to be disappointed by whatever you hid during snuggles, he would never be. You would never be a disappointment to him.

Your next nap together doesn't feature the pillow between you, which makes your heart feel fit to burst while he snuggles you closer. 

#hhhhh i posted this to the wrong blog at firsttttt #it took me fucking forever to finish this agh #it was so hard to come up with prompts that were unique and fun while not embarassing in any way #or well #not like bad bad embarassing? #i headcanon that all of them are some form of gender fluid or nonbinary anyway so like the demon bros just love you okay #bast babbles #my writing #obey me headcanons #obey me #obey me! #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me belphegor

[fuckedurbias]

hey, can i request the smut tag thingy with got7 mark?? thank youuu

a = aftercare

mmmmm mark would be soft and caring in his own way. he wouldn’t do or say much, just bring his partner a wipe/towel, whatever they needed to clean up and quickly wipe himself up as well. he’d then slide back under the covers quickly and softly rub their cheeks or back and play with their hair until they fell asleep. if the sex occurred earlier in the day he’d quietly slide away while his partner cleaned themselves up on their own and bring them back their favourite snack and some water and then they’d just watch a movie and/or nap for a little while.

b = body part

100% an ass man. he’d love his partners ass and would always wanna smack it, squeeze it, grab it, rub it or even just look at it. he’d get so turned on just thinking about it. he’d also love his partners collarbones, he doesn’t know why, he’d just love the look of them,,,,,,especially when he has left marks are all over them.

on himself, he’d love his arms; so long and toned. the way they tense up and you can see the muscles and tendons working when he’s using his hands on his partner and they way they so easily can hold and wrap around so much of them. also his jaw!!! he fucking loves his jaw, the way his partner softly kisses & licks along it, the way it tenses when he’s aroused, the way it opens and closes during make out sessions and when he’s giving head.

c = cum

he’s a pretty neat cummer, not liking to leave any more mess than necessary, though sometimes when he’s really horny and feeling a little bit risky, he’ll come on his partner’s chest/back just for funsies. he also doesn’t really like to swallow/lick up his partner’s cum, he just doesn’t enjoy the taste or get any enjoyment from it however if it will save cleaning up and make things easier, or just turns his partner on, then he will happily do so.

d = dirty secret

he loves dirty texting over the phone,,,, just letting his mind run wild with thoughts and fantasies of what he will do to his partner and vice versa, he would just get off on the fact that everyone else around him has no idea about what vulgar, sinful things him & his partner are texting about right in front of their faces. and getting to go home/to his partner’s place afterwards or even the next day/later in the week and finally getting to act on the messages would be so fun to him.

e = experience

oh i think he’s very experienced, it’s always the quiet + sneakier ones. just his vibes, he gets LOADS of action a lot i think,, no i KNOW he’d definitely know what he’s doing. and it’d b so cute if his partner was less experienced then he was bc he’d be so gentle and would take care of them so well :(

f = favourite position

i feel like he’d def be a fan of the cowgirl (no matter the gender), his partner riding him and getting themselves off on him while he does the bare minimum and just gets to sit there in awe. whether it’s reversed or forward, he wouldn’t care. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,also doggy style,,,,,,,,,,,,, preferably with his partner’s hair being pulled back or shoved into the pillows,,,,,,,,,,,, either or.

g = goofy

hmmmm i feel like if mark has sex he likes it to be pretty serious and intimate, but obviously if something silly happens by accident he’ll laugh about it but yeah, i feel like he prefers to be serious. he may let out a few chuckles but they definitely won’t be out of humour,,, more due to the fact that seeing his partner such a mess is so cute to him.

h = hair

i feel like mark likes to keep himself pretty neat and tidy, sometimes he will shave depending on how new the relationship is or if he’s going out and hoping to get frisky with someone,, but most of the time he can’t be bothered and if he’s comfortable with the person he will probably just trim it and nothing more than that.

i = intimacy

as i said before, mark would love to be as intimate & personal as possible during sexy times. he wouldn’t necessarily make it romantic every time, he would save that for special occasions but during the act he would just love to hold his partner close and show them that he likes to make them feel good, that it also makes him feel good and would just love to remind his partner that they are his and he is theirs.

j = jack off

mmmmm i think he would jack off sometimes, not a lot if he had a partner or just easily accessible booty call to get his rocks off. he would rather just let out his horniness through the actual thing rather than just himself and his hand, obviously unless he was on tour or was just too busy for a while and wasn’t able to fuck anyone.

k= kink

he’s pretty vanilla i feel,,, but not in the typical way, just he doesn’t have many kinks or a kink he considers his fave, he’s chill w most things!! he would still have a few little kinks he enjoys, like giving praise, dirty talk and essentially anything his partner likes at the time tbh.

l = location

in the comfort of a goddamn bedroom, he would hate doing it anywhere other than either his or his partners private rooms/houses. he would sometimes and i mean - very rarely - do it in the dorms with the other members if him and/or his partner are going wild with hormones but that’s a very rare and treasured treat, but yes otherwise exclusively an enclosed & private area.

m = motivation

like i said before, sexting or just even thinking about doing things to someone/his partner. or seeing his partners ass all cooped up in them jeans or just the ass in general,,, mmm he’d love that.

n = NO

honestly i can’t see anything mark refusing anything straight out he’d be pretty open to anything his partner suggests or wants to try, unless he finds it really gross and off putting from the get go, but even then there’s nothing specific and nothing he wouldn’t at least try once.

o = oral

giving!! 100% prefers giving, ofc he loves receiving too but he just loves giving and seeing his partner become so weak because of him. even more so because he knows hes so good at it without even trying.

p = pace

definitely more slow and sensual, even on days where he’s more rough he isn’t really fast. it’s not that he can’t do it he just prefers to drag it out and make it as deep and intimate and close to his partner as possible, wanting it to always be passionate, intense & personal even if its rougher, kinkier sex.

q = quickie

mark wouldn’t be a fan of quickies, especially since he liked any kind of sex to be more private, but if it had to be done it had to be done. if either him or his partner couldn’t wait he’d take them to a private bathroom/toilet & would go no further than oral or fingering/handjobs, it would suffice until they could go back home and go all the way for hours.

r = risk

definitely game to experiment with different people and different things, liking to try almost everything and figuring out what he likes for himself with as many options as possible (obviously being safe & consensual).

s = stamina

oh he can definitely go for a long time, wanting to make his partner come as many times as possible before he even finishes once, even during foreplay he doesn’t usually come and stops his partner giving him head so he can just get into the sex. due to this though, he doesn’t usually go for many rounds after unless his partner wants to, sometimes one or two if it’s been a while but usually just the one. but it’s rare that his partner will want to, already having came so many times at once.

t = toy

i don’t think he’d know much about toys or have any, unless his partner had them and wanted to use them on him or wanted mark to use the toys on them. once experimenting with them though, he’d definitely fuck with cock rings & stuff that stimulates him & enhances the experience/orgasms like that, and he’d like when his partner uses them on him. he’d love having fun using toys on his partner too, just experimenting with all of them on each other.

u = unfair

hmm i would say mark likes to tease because of what we see but i think he wouldn’t actually enjoy teasing, he’d just outright say to his partner ‘i wanna fuck’ and when his partner teased, they would not be doing so for long at all. i don’t think he’d enjoy teasing because if he wants something he wants it fast, especially when it comes to sex - especially when his partner is right there with him or close by.

v = volume

he wouldn’t be loud or make many sounds, more of a heavy breather, with gasps & groans (and sometimes breathy moans oh fuck imagine that)

w = wild card

okay hear me out.

phone sex.

okay thank you

x = x-ray

he is honestly packing nicely, more on the thinner but longer side but not by much. average length & just under average girth but definitely no issue, he can use it very very well.

y = yearning

i think fresh into a relationship or even courting, his sex drive would be pretty high but would lessen to be normal as it the relationship advanced. if he wasn’t in a relationship & just had booty calls or hooks up/one night stands, it’d be just above normal like any single adult, just going with the flow kinda vibe.

z = zzz

i don’t think he’d like to fall asleep straight away afterwards, even at night time. he’d like to cool down afterwards, getting his heart rate & breathing back to normal; watching tv or scrolling on his phone as his partner cuddles with him - fast asleep. he’d fall asleep soon after, snuggling them back.

#gotsvn #got7 #got7 smut #got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 one shot #got7 one shots #mark #mark tuan #jb #jaebum #jaebeom #im jaebum #im jaebeom #jinyoung #park jinyoung #bambam #youngjae #choi youngjae #yugyeom #kim yugyeom #jackson #jackson wang #wang jackson #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop one shot #kpop one shots

[lady-nevermore]

Checklist, Dreams, and Fourth Therapy Session

Before we get into what happened this session, I wanted to write down this checklist of sorts, regarding a few bouts of anxiety I had these last two weeks (and how I dealt with them)....My therapist did after all (give me homework last session) / and highly advised me to write down any situations that may have triggered or have caused my anxiety-levels to start rising/or skyrocketing. So here we go.

6/8/17 - Thursday

It was the day (more like early evening) before my cousin’s Jay’s Graduation, and that was when I noticed that I had misspelled my cousin’s name on both her graduation-card, and on the envelope of said graduation-card....I felt my heart freeze and an immediate sense of anxiety (and me fretting over whether or not I should fix it with white-out or not) ...I definitely felt my heart race in fear (beating loudly, to the point I could feel my heart beating/pulsing in my eardrums)....The reason for my fear: was because i felt that my Aunt C was going to take great offense, in the fact that I had misspelled my cousin’s name (My Aunt C is quite a prideful woman, and very easily angered/offended.....and the fact she traumatized/ emotionally abused me when  I was 5, def. left/instilled that sense of fear in a way.....even now).....It wasn’t until a little bit afterwards that I started to realize how my anxiety was quite an irrational reaction on my part, and how silly it was to be freaking out over this, ‘twas in realizing this that i calmed down and chose to let it go (aka I passed along my gift to my dad, who works with my uncle aka Jay’s Dad, so that Jay would receive said gift on the day of her graduation); I was rest assured when my dad told me that the gift had successfully made it’s way to Jay, and I sighed in relief. 

6/9/17 - Friday

My little cousins ended up spontaneously coming over for a visit / aka My Aunt Juanita (one of my kinder as well as fave aunts) needed me and my mom to babysit them for a bit. .....See, here’s the thing (call me high-maintenance or whatever) - But I don’t do well in regards towards spontaneous things, such as: Unexpected visits, unexpected plans to hangout (like the last second, in this very moment types), unexpectedly meeting a friend or acquaintance our of the blue (like when shopping for groceries or something).....stuff like that really tends to raise (sometimes even sky-rocket) my anxiety levels.....mostly cause I wasn’t prepared for it. But yeah, so minutes before they (my little cousins: Bryan and Izela) were to arrive, I sorta became a wee bit frantic (because I needed to make sure my room wasn’t a total mess and prepare my gamecube console and games, to keep them entertained, [and keep in mind, as a nerd i have most of my videogames and anime/nerdy stuff in my room] so yeah, I started to feel hella rushed and a bit stressed, cause it was soo last minute; which didn’t help my anxiety levels: Cause they just skyrocketed (to the point where my hearing-senses/audio-hypersensitiveness started to kick in, such as me getting irritated my hearing the clinks of the dishes accidently clanging against each other ......but yeah, It wasn’t until they got here, that i noticed that their rowdiness sorta low-key irked me (them trying to talk over each other by raising their voices and stuff) but I got over it quickly enough; their cuteness/adorkablness was more than enough to take my mind off my anxiety, and even made me smile. It was fun babysitting them; Izela was having a blast with harvest moon: a magical melody (though she sorta got the hang of it but was getting hilariously frustrated with the game itself and she kept giggling/laughing when she kept running outta time and losing track of where she was going, which I found to be absolutely hilarious, to the point where i started laughing my ass-off along with them), but then Bryan wanted to play something else, so I introduced them to Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, which was really fun watching and guiding/ helping them walktrough the game (especially once we finally got them into reaching the Deku Tree, aka the first dungeon). I may have felt a wee bit drained once they left (they dropped them off here at around 6PM and didn’t leave till like 10 PM), but I did calm down in the end, plus it was fun :)

6/14/17 - Wednesday

Left at 11:45 Am and went to go see Wonder Woman and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell no Tales; Not gonna rewrite what happened here cause I already made a post about this here: http://lady-nevermore.tumblr.com/post/161840007484/saw-ww-and-potc5-today  ....But what I will write about is a few things i forgot to mention that had also happned: After seeing WW (it ended around 3 PM), I wanted to wait and watch POTC5 another day instead, so i walked home......the thing is I have a real bad sens of direction, and well long story short  i got lost (and let me tell you I felt disoriented and felt anxious as I was lost) so I decided that the best thing to do was to calm down and backtrack, and end up back at the mall.....and from there i decided: “Well fuck it, I might as well go see of RWBY4 is out yet on bluray....which it wasn’t, so I left Best Buy and headed back towards the Theaters (all of this btw is inside the mall: The Theaters, Bestbuy, etc)....That was when I decided to go and watch POTC5 around 3:35 PM (and the movie didn;t end till around 6PM), but by the time it ended, I decided to call my dad to pick me up, but yeah I enjoyed myself (both films were great) and it was a nice day. ^^;

6/18/17 - Sunday

Dreamt of an old friend (let’s call him Wolf); he was chasing me in my dream (I was running away and felt such a cold sense of fear and a lot of anxiety in the dream).....See, Back when I knew him, he was dealing with a lot of anger-issues.....We didn’t really end things on a good note when we parted ways either.....Last time i saw him was when we were playing ping-pong ball, and he was obviously hella pissed-off/angry at me (cause a few days before, I told him that I no longer felt safe/that I felt uncomfortable being around him....something that was a long time coming, years even).....He obviously didn’t take this well, cause the next/and last time I saw him we were playing ping-pong ball with a couple of friends of ours, and he was so succumbed by his anger that he kept hitting the ball with such force at me..... it was obvious that he was trying to hit me (I remember cause the look in his eyes was terrifying, it was filled with pure hatred towards me); a mutual friend of both of ours at the time: Cisco-kid, had to pull Wolf over aside (Wolf reacted towards this via throwing the ping-pong paddle to the side with such ferocity, outta anger) but nonetheless he was reluctantly pulled-over to the side and was told-off by Cisco-Kid, with him asking him what the hell was wrong with him, and telling him to knock it off.....This was about 4-8 years ago (sometime around then)...I wrote more about this here: http://lady-nevermore.tumblr.com/post/162055039454/dear-wolftbh-our-friendship-was-doomed-from (in my Letters to No One, therapy side-blogs)....but long story short, I ended up cutting all ties with him without so much as a word (this was simultaneously during the time that my mentor/friend passed away, and when I had my nervous breakdown, and fell into a deep depression).....This hasn’t been the only time I’ve dreamt of him (most dreams are of happier, fun, friendship-wise times)....this one was not. :/

6/18/17 - Sunday

Surprised my Dad with some French Toast for breakfast (with a side of some delicious: fresh and juicy strawberries, banana slices, and sausage links) ‘twas delicious, which I’m glad it turned out so well (I love to cook in a calm and serene environment, it always calms me down and takes my mind off things, plus it’s fun).....But anyways, I went to a chinese Resturant with my folks for Father’s Day on Sunday; haven’t been to that place in years (since like my young teen years)....Felt a small sense of anxiety/nervousness/restlessness before shortly getting there. But that quickly went away and we had a nice time once we got there. ^-^

The Fourth Session

Finally - Onto the Fourth Session.

6/19/2017

Today we talked about the checklist I’ve made here above, mostly about the situations that caused my anxiety and how  i dealt with/reacted to it; I’ve told her that once I’ve realized how irrational/silly my overreaction is to something (that is causing my anxiety), i can quickly calm down cause now i realize that it’s not me that’s reacting this way, but rather it’s the anxiety that’s taking control and choosing to react for me; That distinction, i feel will help a great deal in the long run.

We focused a lot on my old-friend Wolf, and talking about what i would say to him if he was here, and how to let him go, and how to let his shadow (of me feeling anxious of running into him) go. We talked about my mom and me worrying over her cause she has an appointment on the 22nd cause she’s had this chronic cough and me worrying it’s throat cancer, which led us to talking about my pessimism and me jumping to the worst possible conclusions, and how I need to try to stop myself from going there, and just try living in the present (in the here and now), rather than worrying on what could or might not happen. 

We talked about my progress thus far, and I told her I feel hopeful (something I haven’t felt in a very long time), especially due to my online-friends here on tumblr (especially those  i chat with - you know who you are), but most especially: @theamazingflyinglion, @angelotics, @th3-d0rk-kn1ght-d0t-exe .....you guys have no idea how much your support and company has helped me; it’s given me hope, and that’s something I haven’t felt in over 4-8 years. 

My Therapist has told me that there’s so much i can still accomplish, but that I need to remind myself that i am allowed to do it at my own pace (and that it’s really important to remember that I do not owe society, my former high-school teachers/mentors/classmates/friends, even my parents anything in regards towards meeting their standards/expectations.....The thing is this is such a difficult thing for me to do, and is something I’ve always struggled with, especially when it comes to meeting high standards in academia/my pride in academia, being a perfectionist, or having my life together (especially by age 25)......It also doesn’t help that i have an inferiority complex, I’m always afraid to feel inferior or look inferior (which is why why pride stings if my intelligence is questioned, or why  i get competitive in trivia games, or why i get high-strung/slight snobbish if  i feel slightly threatened by another’s intelligence.....which is such a horrible trait to have, and have mostly broken free of it (it was worse during my teenage years, believe me)....thank god I’ve matured, and grown hella, like hella more liberal and open-minded in my views in life, or else even i wouldn’t have been able to stand myself, Christ! o.o

But yeah, it just weighs soo damn heavily on me.....i feel like I’ve wasted my life away, like I should have accomplished soo much by now and it scares me shitless that i don’t.....that i’m soo damn uncertain.....and that I’ll fail again. it scares me cause, I’m afraid I’ll run into someone I knew from my high-school days (the people who knew me as the perfect teacher’s pet, the person who had their shit together, the person who was on top of it all) and that they’ll see what a pathetic person I’ve become.....My Therapist keeps telling me that it’s not too late to fulfill my accomplishment, to fight for my accomplishments......and to be honest, I’m sorta feeling like a little glimmer of hope, it’s small......but maybe just maybe, that tiny glimmer will grow into a passion/motivation into finally feeling capable of meeting/accomplishing my goals (but at my own pace). 

Speaking of goals, I told her that my goal/dream is to become a teacher (and english teacher); the main reason is I’ve always loved/enjoyed helping my formers classmates/friends/little cousins in opening their eyes in wonder via discovering or noticing something the didn’t note before, especially in regards to storytelling, which is why I wanna be an english teacher (helping students understand and view literature, especially the archetypes and overall concept of the hero’s journey, in a new light). The second, and most personal reason, as to why I want to become a teacher, is to honor my friend/old mentor’s memory (may he rest in peace), cause he too was a young teacher himself, and i remember him telling me how much joy he got outta teaching, how much energy and how alive it made him feel despite his battle with colon-cancer....which is why my I desire to be a teacher myself, so that I can follow in his footsteps, and carry-out what was taken away from him, and make him proud. :’)

She asked me how i felt about trying to go back to community college, or learning how to drive, whilst I;m currently going to therapy......I told her I dunno if i feel ready yet.....still dunno (it makes me nervous just thinking about it....not impossible, but just nervous). >_>; ....She said that’s fine, and that she’ll be here supporting me regardless, stating that her goal is to be here for me and help me get through this. But yeah, like I said - I don’t feel ready, but who knows, we shall see. Hmm, we’ve also talked about me dealing with depression (and she’s asked me if i noted that maybe it’s during when I’m menstruating...I mean yeah sometimes I PMS, and that’ll trigger it, but i told her it’s manifested itself outside of my menstrual cycle as well).... i told her that i view it as an analogy to the weather or a lingering cold......it comes and goes (and I’m like *sigh oh great it’s you again depression, how fucking long are you gonna stay with me this time around).....I’m aware it’s bouts are temporary, and i can deal with it.....but bouts of anxiety on the other hand is a lot more difficult, because I’m so sensitive to it,cause daunting more instinct-base aka it’s soo in my face, and it get’s in the way of how  i react to things, socializing, etc, and it’s def. more of a struggle for me. But anyways.

 Footnotes:

My Therapist highly advised me, dude, she even made me write it down, to:

Not allow other people’s expectations nor society’s to take control and affect me; that I don not owe other people (former friends, classmates, teachers) an explanation as to why i did not meet said standards.

And to remember that it’s the anxiety that’s making me feel and react this way, not me; that this anxiety does not have permission nor my consent to take control over how i chose or choose not react to things.

^This is her third piece of hw (in a way) to write these down on a sticky note or somewhere I can see them, and read/integrate them into my psyche once a day (especially when my thoughts linger towards not feeling accomplished or when i’m in an anxious state); She says that changing my thought-process like this will help in the long run.....and to be perfectly honest, it def. makes sense. 

Fourth Piece of hw, she gave me a couple of adult-coloring book pages (hell, she even handed me a box of colored-pencils) and she asked me to color these whenever I’m feeling down, anxious or whenever, that it’ll help me to relax.....I'm assuming this is some sort of art therapy? But either way it made me smile in slightly soft-amused way (I used to love art classes, drawing, coloring back in my elementary, and middle school days, it was my side-hobby so to speak as a kid)....plus not gonna lie, but it sounds hella therapeutic and my sorta fun....def. looking forward to it lol. (^-^)

 Side Notes: 

 I didn't wear my light hoodie/sweater today, ‘twas hella effing hot, and since it’s just my therapist and me there, I thought I’d forgo it (I usually feel very insecure with it, cuz i’m slightly chubby, especially around my tummy area, and covering myself with my jacket sorta makes me feel less insecure for some reason.....yeah yeah, I know I’m weird, plus I’m also a creature of habit, so once I started doing something routinely, I sorta feel reluctant to change. ^^:

I burned my finger while I was cooking, sucks but thank god I have aloe vera growing out in my garden (along with spearmint for spearmint tea, and fresh rosemary and oregano for when I’m cooking). It all makes me feel hella fortunate and happy, yay! ^-^

*looks at the clock - Damn, it’s already 9PM!* :O

But anyways, that’s all for now, TTFN! :)

- Lady Nevermore

#Fourth Session #therapy #therapy blog #anxiety

[sa21-group6-theskinnylegend-blog]

My Life as an Athlete by Gabe Santiago

     As a child, I was naturally curious. At first, my parents found it amusing. They celebrated the fact that they had a child that loved learning about the world. It wasn't long though, before they got tired of me asking so many questions that they don't even know how to start answering. Their natural soliton to this, was to make me try out different things so that I could focus my energy there instead of wasting it on not doing anything at home after school.

     The first activity they made me do was swimming. As a family, we used to often travel all the way to Batangas at least once a month to enjoy the beach. My dad and uncles would go scuba diving while my cousins and I would then snorkel around the boat to admire the colorful fish and the beautiful corals under the sea. I never took swimming lessons before, you see. My parents thought that I had a natural affinity towards swimming so they sent me to a formal swimming program to learn the different strokes and techniques. At the age of 5, I was excited at the very idea of being in a pool of water. Little did I know that this would tire me out and make me feel pain in my body where I didn't think was even possible. Aside from that, I struggled to even get the forms correctly in some of the strokes and the rest I couldn't even mimic a semblance of what it was supposed to look like. Everyday I would go right in the car after school dreading the destination which was the pool. But after a while, I noticed that my body started to hurt less, I got less tired, and I started getting the hang of the strokes that I couldn't do before. I realized that sometimes, some things just take brute force to get the hang of. I went to training everyday just giving the same orders to my body and somehow, through repetition, my body just taught learned on its own. I was good at swimming, but I knew in my heart that it wasn't my passion. I still love being in the water until now but it's not something I can see myself dedicating most of my time for.

     The next sport my parents made me try was tennis. It was actually my dad who insisted on this since he was proficient in this sport and he has the trophies displayed in our living room to prove it. Unlike swimming, I was actually a little bit opposed to trying out tennis because I was afraid of being hit by the ball. It seems silly even to me now but I remember it being a legitimate concern for me. But being the adventurous person that I was, I pushed through anyway. Still training for swimming at this time, I thought I could employ the same strategy I did on this new sport. Several years of training for swimming gave me enough power in my arms to perform powerful smashes that would almost always guarantee a point for me. The problem was everything else. My tennis coach would always tell me that I was hitting too hard. My services were always landing outside the court and my returns would either be hit too hard that they don't bounce on the opponent's field or they would be hit too soon that they shot themselves away from my intended direction. After several frustrating training sessions, I soon learned that tennis had a rhythm to it that needed to be followed. Not to say that swimming didn't have a rhythm. It's just that the rhythm in swimming was a solitary one, meaning you only have to play on your own body's momentum to know when it's the right time to tread. Tennis on the other hand, had a much more delicate rhythm because you have to share this rhythm with your opponent. In order to successfully return their shots, you must be able to keep up with their shots and know when it's the right time to smash and earn a point. Unfortunately, just like with swimming, I was doing very well but it just wasn't my passion.

     The last sport that I tried was fencing. Unlike the previous two, I was the one who took interest and asked my parents if I could train in this sport. At first, they were not so sure about this since I was already training for both swimming and tennis at the time on top of all the requirements I had for school. Eventually, I won the argument and they agreed to let me train as long as my grades didn't suffer. I thought that, with swimming and tennis in my arsenal, fencing shouldn't be very difficult. And again, obviously, I was wrong. I had trouble knowing when to parry and when to lunge because the duel would happen so fast. It was not like tennis where you know when to anticipate their returns and it's definitely not like swimming where repetition would help you master the sport. I had to learn how to read my opponent's body language and anticipate their lunges so that I can parry them and lunge at them and win the battle. I also had to learn when it's best to be defensive and to the parry-lunge technique or be aggressive and beat them with a quick and unexpected lunge. Fencing taught me how to be more observant and know how to predict my opponent's moves as well as make decisions what could either make or break the duel.

     As a little kid, I always thought I would be an athlete as I grew up. I tried so many sports other than the three I shared and some of them I liked, some of them I excelled in, but most of them I just got bored with. Part of growing up is self-discovery and I believe that the best way to do this is by trying out new things and seeing how you respond to them. In a way, I was like an actor trying out different roles in search of the role that fits me the best. Not every role would suit a person perfectly, but that doesn't mean that they don't have valuable lessons to teach.

[Module 5 Source]

McAdams, D. P. (2017). Self and identity. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds.), Noba       textbook series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. DOI: nobaproject.com  (http://www.nobaproject.com)