There is a video I found from back when I was three, you’re setting up a paint set in the kitchen and talking to me. I’m five years old, it’s getting cold, I’ve got my big coat on. She said I was seven and you were nine, I looked at you like the stars that shine in the sky like pretty lights. I hit my peak at seven. I’m thirteen now and don’t know how my friends could be so mean. At fourteen there’s just so much you can’t do and you can’t wait to move out one day and call your own shots. Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them. Good thing my daddy made me get a boating licence when I was fifteen. Well, I was sixteen when suddenly I wasn’t that little girl you used to see. I’m crazier for you then I was at sixteen, lost in a film scene. Secret jokes all alone, sixteen and wild. Seventeen and crazy, running wild, wild. It’s like I’m seventeen, no one understands. I’m only seventeen, I don’t know anything but I know I miss you. How can a person know everything at eighteen but nothing at twenty two? Don’t you think nineteen’s too young to be played by your dark twisted games when I loved you so? And I damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil at nineteen. It’s supposed to be fun, turning twenty one. I don’t know about you but I’m feeling twenty two. She’s still twenty three inside her fantasy. Oh, twenty five years old, oh how were you to know? Thirty two and still growing up now, who you are is not what you did. She said, I’ll be eighty seven, you’ll be eighty nine, I’ll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky.
Every time Taylor Swift references an age in a song
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dear john; remus lupin
summary: "but i took your matches, before fire could catch me," in which she shows him that his differences from the typical side of society is not something to fear.
tags: (SFW), angst to fluff?, hurt/comfort, drabble??, fast paced, implied gryffindor!reader, implied pre-existing relationship, vulnerable!remus, angsty!remus, lowkey selfloathing!remus, she/her pronouns, third person y/n. can be read as a sequel to 'back to decemeber' or as a standalone fic.
words: 700+
speak now tracklist.
request.
"it's not that simple! you don't understand!" the boy aggressively shouted as he began to pace around the dormitory, "that's why i know we'll never truly work. it's better, for both of us, if you just moved on!"
"so help me to understand," she replied calmly, crossing her arms over her chest as her face softened slightly.
"it's complicated, it-"
"it's only complicated if you don't explain it to me, i want to help you, remus," her voice very quickly became stern which stopped the boy in his tracks, causing him to turn to face her. he looked at a loss for words, stunned at her bluntness as he searched for the explanatory words.
"things are different for me! i can't just be all reckless and spontaneous all the time," his voice was now exasperated, resuming his pacing as he gestured with his hands expressively.
"says the man who frequently plans reckless and spontaneous pranks throughout the school with his friends," y/n sassed, a slight smile hiding on her face.
"yes, but that's entirely more complicated, this is my whole point!" remus begged, stopping again as he became more solemn, "i have to plan my participation, and the boys have to plan my participation, based on what the moon phase is," he stressed, voice rasping and emphasising his distain.
the boy didn't stop there, he continued to ramble at his girlfriend about how his life was affected by his condition and the long lasting effects in the days after a full moon.
that moment was when she realised. he centred his life around it. he thought he was a werewolf, all of the time, and that's what everybody saw him as. even his friends. even her.
"wait, wait, wait," she suddenly spoke, as the boy stopped mid sentence, "i think i understand now," a brief smile of comfort braced her features.
"remus, you're not the wolf. not right now, not unless it's a full moon," her voice was definitive and sure.
"but i, i am! greyback-" remus became hesitant, he was unsure of what he was saying, "it lives inside of me, it's one of the only constants i have," he confessed vulnerably. her eyes were sincere as she processed his words, thinking of an appropriate reply.
"it's why we won't work, not in the end," he reiterated, "i don't want you to get hurt, everyone i care about inevitably gets hurt because of me. i don't want that for you," he finished in barely a whisper.
"what about james? or sirius? or peter? you haven't ever hurt them before," she questioned assuredly, almost certain that this would stump him. it didn't. she knew it when his face dropped.
"not physically, but emotionally. for years. before they found out. it was turmoil up until they knew," he confirmed, avoiding her gaze all of a sudden.
"and now? everything's surely got to be much better," y/n guessed, her voice dropping and octave with her uncertainty.
"i guess, but that doesn't change who i am," the boy refuted confidently.
"who are you, then?"
"i'm destined to bring horror and melancholy everywhere i go, and destroy everything i love in my wake, all because of the fact i transform into this beast every full moon. and i fail to remember who i've hurt when i do, or what i do," remus raised his voice slightly, trying desperately for it not to break.
"no you're not," the girl affirmed, looking at him as she took several paces forward.
"then, what am i?"
"you're smart, and witty, and brave, and funny, and kind, and loyal, and caring," she reached out to the boy, grasping his shoulders as she spoke, as if it would further infuse her point within the boy.
"and a monster," he added in the same tone y/n was using, hoping to convince her.
"no, you're not. you're not who you turn into," she ran her hand through the ends of his hair whilst she spoke, "you're the furthest thing from it. outside of the night of a full moon, you wouldn't even dare hurt a fly," confidence ran through her words.
"you're not a monster, remus lupin, you're a softie," she smiled up at him cheekily.
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