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mefiman · 3 years

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Hamato Family’s First Visit to the Hidden City

Story request by @rottmntrulesall. Hope you enjoy the story, bud! ^^

"C'mon, everyone! Hurry up!" Michelangelo's impatience was obvious in his excitement. He and his siblings were finally going to show their dad's relatives for the first time to the Hidden City for two reasons; one: to view the many wonders of the other world and two: to have a formal, proper meeting with Draxum's parents. The latter part had instilled some unease into the Hamato siblings, especially Saki who was wary about stepping foot into a mysterious world and was about to see for himself the father and mother of the "monster" who altered his younger brother many years ago.

"Are you sure this place is safe?" Hamato Kenji asked. Raphael glanced at his uncle, understanding his uncle's concerns. "We've been there a lot, Uncle Kenji! We did encounter a few dangers there before but other than that, the people there don't usually attack humans unless provoked." Raph assured his uncle.

"There are a lot of places to visit like the many resorts and spas if you want to have a massage and ooh, Señor Hueso's Run of the Mill Pizza where they make one of the best pizzas! I know the manager of that place, we're amigos~" Leonardo took the chance to quip in.

"I can't wait to see Grandpa Mons again! Wait till you guys meet him yourselves, he's the nicest, sweetest grandpa you'll ever meet! He's still as strong as he's gentle!" Mikey said happily.

"I wonder if Grandma Chemia has some wicked new inventions to show me!" Donatello exclaimed.

"This would be my first time seeing my grandparents, Arachne..." Ariadne whispered to her best friend, Arachne.

"You've never seen them before?" Her friend asked.

"Once when I was a baby... I haven't seen them for years." The yokai femme told Arachne.

"Alright, kids, you've shown us all that you're excited to bring us to visit the Hidden City, Mikey, can you open the portal now?" Splinter asked.

"Sure, Dad!" Mikey got to work quickly.

Draxum felt a tinge of anxiety inside himself. He could not recall the last time he visited his creators ever since he moved out of home to pursue his alchemy researching, away from his parents' constant arguments, half of which is about their preferred methods of raising him. It was a surprise how those two still manage to live under the same roof despite their obvious clashing personalities. He guessed that they tolerated each other just for his sake. His parents had never produced any more offspring after him and one of Arachne’s parents...

"Hey, are you okay, Dad?" A female voice asked him. Draxum jolted from his pondering to find that his daughter, Poison Ivy asking him out of concern. He just gave a small smile as he ran his clawed hands over her helmet. "Am fine, just thinking about your grandparents." He assured her. He marveled how Ivy much had grown from the last time he scientifically created her with his and Lou Jitsu's DNAs; she being so tiny as a developed newborn infant growing in a liquid chamber to a young lady around the boys' ages. From what he knew later on, Splinter raised her along with the Turtles. Ivy had lived her life at first as a normal human teenager until her yokai genes started appearing. The initial discovery of her origins did shake her world but over time, she had learnt to accept and use them to assist her brothers in their adventures. She was intelligent like Draxum and his mother with his father's gentle, mature nature as well as Splinter/Lou's sassiness. She loved to study on botany and coincidently, her powers involved using vines and summoning plant like monsters at will. She recently revealed her sexuality preference as a lesbian and had a girlfriend who is a fellow classmate and witch trainee/apprentice in disguise. Both her creators and siblings were happy for her. As of now, she was cradling her younger sister, Venus de Milo was giggling and squealing as April, Ariadne and Arachne cooed and tickled her belly.

The group watched Mikey draw a symbol on the wall at an alley. Once the symbol was drawn, an open portal revealed. The Hamato siblings' mouths went ajar, not believing what they just saw. "if you think that's mind blowing, you haven't seen nothing yet!" Mikey grinned. His three other brothers and the three girls each took hold of one of their Hamato uncles and aunts's hands. The moment they all jumped into that portal, they found themselves staring at a massive part of a what seemed to be a huge city. The sky above was unlike Earth's skies; instead it was orange with some brown. The architecture of the buildings there were monster shaped with some tall, castle like structures far away from the city. There were a lot of people of all shapes, sizes, colors and appearances walking, running, passing by each other, buying their needs or doing their usual business trades. The Turtle family allowed their Hamato relatives to take in their first view around them. Saki's eyes were bulging out of his sockets, he could not believe for his life what he was seeing. Anthropomorphic, mostly consisting of animal, everyday objects, monstrous and supernatural like individuals roamed every part of the streets around him, he felt as if he was having a strange dream that defied logic! Nori on the other hand, looked right and left, taking in interesting sights that captured her attention. Underneath a calm façade, Kenji was freaking out internally at the new, foreign view. Hiroki was squealing in delight similar to a child had just discovered a world made of toys and sweets. Her twin, Hikari was a bit calmer than his sister, feeling a thrill of danger running through his veins. Last but not least, the youngest Hamato sibling, Mei's stance looked poker face yet she looked around to see if there were any Gothic like people that she can interact with. The Turtles and the girls grinned, seeing the reactions of the others.

"What do you think? Surreal, huh?" They ask.

"Amazing.."

"Fascinating..."

"I can't believe what I'm seeing..."

"Someone please tell me that I'm dreaming..." Saki mumbled, still not believing.

"No, you're not," Draxum replied, going straight to the point with an indifferent expression. "May we please hurry to my parents' house, I bet they're waiting for our arrival..."

"Oh yeah!" Mikey clapped both his hands once. "Lead the way, Draxy!"

Draxum sighed as he took the lead of the group. Along the way, there were a few whispers around and behind Draxum coming from the city people but Splinter and Ivy took hold of both his hands and gave a comforting, assuring squeeze, making him feel better. Ariadne gave her uncle a comforting hand on to his shoulder. They were soon out of the main city square to a further distance into the woods. They had to climb up a hill for a while until they reached a big mansion residing there.

"We are here at last. My childhood home..." Draxum said, looking at the grassy, serene valley below, reminiscing the times where he as a little one ran galloping around the field, cartwheeling with glee among the flowers and his sire teaching him the basics on how to defend himself the predator way. Both father and son spend their days in the early years, sparring with each other...

"Draxum, my son!" The former alchemist warrior villain snapped out of his memories to find himself being engulfed into the arms of none other than his dear, loving old father, Monsrage who brought his only son into a crushing bear hug which knocked the wind out of his lungs. "How have you been, my little baby boy? It's rare that you visit us but it's so wonderful to see you bring your family along! How delightful!" the older yokai gushed, his bushy tail wagging with unlimited enthusiasm like an excited puppy. Monsrage was rather huge and muscular with perked up, pointy ears, silky straight black hair unchanged through time and a fairly long beard to match. Like Draxum before, he wore a battle mask. He had a significant dark upperlip. His body had different shades of blue just like his son, Draxum when he was armored. Monsrage's eyes were the same like Draxum's. His feet in particular, was a noticeable difference. Unlike his wife and son, his feet were shaped like a lion's paws, fitting for him coming from a predator species.

"Father, it's great to see you... but can you please let go now? I can't breathe..." Draxum choked out, being smothered by his sire's busty chest. Monsrage immediately loosened his grip, apologizing profusely while checking to see if he had accidently broken any of his son's bones. Draxum shook his head, smiling a little. His sire had never changed all these years, still a concerned worrywart. And he bet his mother had not either...

Chemia on the other hand, was greeting the rest of the visitors with feverish energy. She was a redhead with shades of pink for her skin colour and her ears, long and drooped. Her eyes had a little twinkle in them, a part of her eccentric personality and plump, red lips. Like her husband, she wore a mask. Donnie, April, Arachne and Ivy were given a whirlwind hug the moment they came in front of her. Monsrage went back to the mansion with his son to give the new visitors, the Hamatos, April, and Arachne a warm greeting as well as welcome his beloved grandchildren with his signature bear hug and proceed to pepper their faces with smooches which they were delighted to have especially Mikey, Ariadne, Ivy and Venus. Monsrage and Chemia ushered them all into their humble abode. The Hamatos were initially skeptical about meeting Draxum's family but they were soon warmed up to them. Later on, the mansion was filled with guffaws of laughter as Monsrage showed them all baby pictures of his son which embarrased the poor warrior scientist. Donnie, April and Ivy were treated to Grandma Chemia's latest creations. Monsrage himself had a blast, playing with Venus and sparring with the Turtles and the girls. Arachne was delighted to meet her grandparents as a young adolescent, telling them about her achievements, adventures and that her own parents are doing well. The Hamatos became comfortable talking with Draxum's parents over some snack delicacies. Overall, everyone had a wonderful time at the Hidden City.

I had fun writing this! Was tiring but oh so worth it.

The Hamato siblings (minus Lou/Splinter) and Venus de Milo belong to @rottmntrulesall while Ariadne and Arachne are the OCs of @mikeykawaii/@mikey-ho. Monsrage, Chemia and Poison Ivy along with the mention of the witch girlfriend belong to me, @mefiman. I hope you don’t mind me incorporating your girls into this story, @mikeykawaii but I’ve been dying to add them in, especially Ari meeting her grandparents! ^^

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #my art #ocs #baronjitsu #a teeny bit mentioned

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tartutation · 4 years

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Venus de Milo (TMNT AU Profile)

A/N: English is not my native language. Therefore, any advice on any grammatical errors is very welcome! Thank you and enjoy your reading <3

Warnings: None

The TMNT AU summary: This is an alternate universe of teenage mutant ninja turtles (mostly inspired by the 2003 series and Bayverse movies) that was inspired by the structure of a "coming-of-age" novel. After losing their beloved father and incomparable master and defeating Shreder, the enemy they have been chasing since the age of 15, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo must learn to accept the grief and move on with their lives. None of it will be easy, now that the transition from adolescence to adulthood will be strongly impacted by an unexpected reunion with two women from their past and the new friends who have joined them.

Introducing Venus de Milo

You can see Venus aparence HERE

In this universe the boys met Venus because she spent 9 months being trained by Mestre Splinter when they were only 10 years old. It is a consensus among them that they share the same mutation, but all the genetic tests that Donatello made were inconclusive (yes, that does strasses him out).

During this period when Venus spent 9 months in New York studying the old history and secrets of the biggest and most famous ninja clans with Mestre Splinter (Hamato Yoshi's only living heir) her relationship with the turtle brothers was somewhat troubled. At the time, they were all children and the tension of having a girl in the group made it very difficult for them to interact normally. Raphael and Michelangelo used to exclude her from the games and playdates with the excuse that it was "for boys only!" and Leonardo felt very jealous of his master (and father), who seemed to pay special attention to this lost konuichi. Of all of them, however, the one who made the most hell of Venus's life was (who knew!) Donatello. Even with his gentle and pacifist spirit, Donnie did not like this new guest who claimed to be (ABSURD!) high priestest of a lost lineage of magical Konuichi. They were doomed to disagreement: after all, a little prodigy of science and a child with magical powers are two existences that contradict each other. But as soon as she came, Venus left, after finishing her intensive course with "Master Hamato" (which is how she referred to Splinter) she returned to Japan and spent the next 11 years training extensively every day to be able to become the best guardian of the Secret of Kunoichi Magic that had ever existed. Without the distraction of other brothers or any friends close by, Venus became the most dangerous and disciplined warrior who had ever set foot on this Earth.

Now a young woman, Venus reencounters her former hashi colleagues. What does the future await?

Name: Venus de Milo

Age: 21

Species: Mutant Tortoise

Favorite color: Blue

Moral alingment: Lawfull Good

Sign: Libra

Sexual orientation: Demisexual

Characteristics:

Because of her disciplined and restricted upbringing, Venus has a very difficult time socializing with other people (or mutants!) her age. She doesn't know what a "meme" is, how twitter works, what's the fun of a 6-second video with a cat sppining to the sound of "sweet dreams are made of this". Having grown up in a temple and spent her entire life studying, she has a different concept of what "fun" is.

Her favorite hobbies include reading, meditating, studying ancient history documents, doing push-ups, kneading healing herbs, studying new types of incense and their calming propreities, etc ... All things that she also does as part of her daily work as the Keeper of the Kunochi Secret, so... The boundaries between fun and work are very thin.

She is an excellent reader and can read fluently in three languages: English, Japanese and Cantonese. She loves to read, it's her favorite activity, especially out loud, as she considers herself an excellent announcer.

She can defeat any of the Hamato brothers in combat (including Leonardo). Although neither bigger nor stronger, Venus uses the weight of the enemy's and their strength against them. In addition, her physical speed and strategic ability together makes her literally unbeatable.

Despite her advanced combat skills, Venus is extremely shy and anything makes her blush. Especially conversations that involve sexual pleasure and explicit language. Unfortunately for her, Michelangelo will discover this very quickly and will be able to defeat her in a fight whispering "What's up, hot stuff?" during combat. None of the other brothers will understand how he did it and he will never tell.

Despite being aware that her appearance isn't considered neither normal nor attractive to humans, Venus has no problems with self-esteem. She is very proud of her origins and to be the heir to a lineage of magical warriors is enough to make her one of the most beautiful people in the world in her mind.

Despite having a limited social skill, she is a very valuable friend and after she becomes attached to you, she will do everything to guarantee your safety and comfort.

She is very elegant and graceful. She was taught during her upbringing that each movement must be calculated and rehearsed strictly, what makes some of her very commom and daily actions, such as putting on a shoe or pouring tea look like choreography of a soft dance.

Venus believes deeply in soul mates. So she never worried much about learning the art of seduction or how to flirt with other people, since she always knew that one day the right person would cross her path and she wouldn't have to change who she is to win their heart (spoiler: she was right!)

It might not look like it, but she is very easily irritated. The fact is that she can disguise her stress and impatience just as easily. Never loses her temper.

Even with all these characteristics, she is not the leader of the group. This role was given to Mona Lisa (you will be able to read about Mona Lisa from this alternative universe very soon) through an election between the four friends (description of the twins May and June coming soon!). Venus has no grudge against her friend, as she knows that despite her physical abilities, herself lacks the charisma that a leader needs.

She is not very good at comforting others, nor is she a big fan of physical contact.

She was educated to never feel hatred towards anything but despite this she cannot control her contempt for lies. Trust is the most important thing in the world.

Summary of relationship with each of the turtles:

Leonardo: Venus and Leo are kindred spirits. They have, all jokes aside, everything in common. Therefore, when they met each other for the second time, they developed a friendship that made them absolutely inseparable. She likes how he doesn't underestimate her and how he respects her discipline and life doctrine and he likes having a partner to meditate and train. Their union allowed Leonardo to finally have someone with the same dedication (and obsession, honestly) as he, someone with whom he could complain about the neglect of his brothers and someone to train his japanese with, which also guaranteed them a certain privacy and intimacy that Leonardo had not yet experienced with anyone.

Raphael: If asked, Raph will say that he thinks Venus "is ok". Deep down, meeting her for a second time left a bitter taste in his mouth. He is very jealous of his brother and wonders if Venus would not be the true sister that Leo always wanted - besides (of course) the fact that her discipline and posture are literally the combination of all the things he doesn't like in Leonardo multiplied by 10. Despite all this, the thing that he hates the most is her absence of anger: there are few things in the world that Raphael likes more than stressing his perfect big brother and watching him lose his temper, but it seems IMPOSSIBLE to get the same reaction with Venus . No matter how much he teases her, ridicules her or bullies her ... she never breaks! And THAT is unforgivable. (As they will get to know each other better, Raphael will be able to see Venus for what she is: not the incarnation of perfection on Earth, but a very shy young woman with very basics communication skills )

Donatello: Donnie, now a 21-year-old man, is ashamed to face the ghosts of his childhood that Venus brings with her. He remembers very well how he treated her when they were young and is very ashamed of how bad he was to her. Age made him realize that despite not sharing the same beliefs he didn't had the right to mistreat her. Because of this, upon their reunion, Donatello can't even look her in the eye... The situation gets so much worse when he realizes that she is kind, peaceful and strategic and that the obsession and discipline she exercises in her spiritual rituals are equivalent to those himself repets with his inventions, experiments and research. In silence, he starts to admire her more and more, and the more he admires her the more shame he feels for how he treated her. For a long time, he fantasies with the day when he will be forgiven and accepted, who knows, maybe she will admire him in the same way ... Poor Donnie, he doesn't even imagine that Venus does not hold a single drop of resentment and that she ends up interpreting him distancing himself of her as a form of showing contempt. (Agsnt is my fucking life)

Michelangelo: Mikey finds Venus so.fucking.intimidating. He remmembered her as a very small and shy crybaby, but now? Now she is the greatest warrior he have ever seen. If Leonardo tries to be the authority figure and ends up rejected by his younger brother, Venus does not have the same intention, but ends up winning the respect and trust of the youngest of the group. She ends up being the only figure that Michelangelo really respects and obeys blindly after Master Splinter. He adores her just as a troubled student adores the patient and empathetic vice director. Their friendship ends up becoming so sincere and pure that he starts playing video games on mute just to hear the stories she reads aloud.

_________________________________________________________

Well.. That’s it for Venus BIO! Please tell me what do you think! Every comment and opinion is welcome. My ask box is also open for any questions about this AU! Thank you so much for reading till the end.

#tmnt fanfic #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt donatello #tmnt venus de milo #tmnt au #tmnt headcannons #tmnt #alternative universe #fanfic write #fanfic

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gokinjeespot · 4 years

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off the rack #1301

Monday, February 17, 2020

Happy Family Day. I'm grateful for my extended family of fellow comic book aficionados. Sharing the love of our hobby keeps me young and brightens my life. I miss seeing many of you but you are in my thoughts.

Catwoman #20 - Joelle Jones (writer) Fernando Blanco (art) FCO Plascencia (colours) Saida Temofonte (letters). Mrs. Creel poisons her party guests showing us what a nasty woman she is. Catwoman fights through a bunch of zombies to get some Lazarus Water to save a friend. Selina's final obstacle will be Mrs. Creel. I can't wait for this story to end. It's been kind of blasé.

Thor #3 - Donny Cates (writer) Nic Klein (art) Matthew Wilson (colours) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). Lots of KRAKKABOOMS this issue as Thor fights Beta Ray Bill. Horseface doesn't have a chance with All-Father Thor boosted with Galactus given power cosmic. Don't build a funeral pyre for Bill yet. Someone comes to his rescue and that person is a surprise.

The Dollhouse Family #4 - M. R. Carey (writer) Peter Gross (layouts) Vince Locke (finishes) Cris Peter (colours) Todd Klein (letters). Alice and her daughter recover from the horrible explosion from last issue but their survival cost them an arm and a leg. When Alice gets back to the dollhouse, she finds there's a new tenant and she's not nice at all. This horror title isn't horrible. You should come visit.

Hawkeye: Freefall #3 - Matthew Rosenberg (writer) Otto Schmidt (art) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). This issue explains how Clint can be in two places at one time. It's dumb but I don't mind because this story is kind of dumb. I like it for the guest stars. The Black Widow shows up and the hero on the last page is a favourite of mine. If the new Ant-Man mini had been this much fun I'd still be reading it.

The Batman's Grave #5 - Warren Ellis (writer) Bryan Hitch (pencils) Kevin Nowlan & Bryan Hitch (inks) Alex Sinclair (colours) Richard Starkings (letters). I don't know if it's just me, but I find that I lose interest in a Warren Ellis story somewhere and this issue might be it. I've forgotten what the mystery is that put Batman in detective mode even though he's following a lead in Arkham Asylum this issue. I like seeing Batman kick bad guy butt as much as the next fan, but 8 pages of it here seems to be padding the story. Methinks this 12-issue story could've been told in 6.

Savage Avengers #10 - Gerry Duggan (writer) Patch Zircher (art) Java Tartaglia (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). Conan and the two Doctors, Doom and Strange, battle Kulan Gath. Guess who wins? This issue made me laugh out loud.

Jessica Jones: Blind Spot #3 - Kelly Thompson (writer) Mattia De Iulis (art) VC's Cory Petit (letters). Now this is a much more enjoyable murder mystery than Batman's Grave. I know exactly what's happening because Kelly Thompson recaps as the investigation continues. There's even an extended 5-page fight scene where Jessica and Elsa Bloodstone fight creatures from the Black Lagoon but it isn't boring because they're bantering about the case all the while. The rest of this 6-issue mini can't come out fast enough for me.

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #6 - Jody Houser (writer) Adriana Melo (pencils) Mark Morales (inks) Hi-Fi (colours) Gabriela Downie (letters). Harley and Ivy's adventure comes to an end with a battle between good and evil Ivy. I liked how they left the fate of Poison Ivy a mystery. Who knows how she'll act the next time she sees Harley?

X-Force #7 - Benjamin Percy (writer) Oscar Bazaldua (art) Guru-eFX (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This issue features Domino who was rescued from the bad guys recently. The bad guys managed to steal her good luck powers and have transferred them to someone else. This newly empowered individual is an assassin going around killing mutant supporters. Neena's not too happy about that. I wasn't too surprised by the reveal of the assassin's identity on the last page but I'm sure some new fans will be.

X-Men #6 - Jonathan Hickman (writer) Matteo Buffagni (art) Sunny Gho (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). This issue features Mystique. She's my favourite shape-shifter. She's sent on a mission to infiltrate the space station designed to fight against the mutants. I liked how the flashbacks merged with this story to culminate at the ominous last page.

The Immortal Hulk #31 - Al Ewing (writer) Joe Bennett (main story pencils) Ruy Jose, Belardino Brabo & Cam Smith (main story inks) Paul Mounts (main story colours) Javier Rodriguez (McGowan sequence pencils & colours) Alvaro Lopez (McGowan sequence inks) VC's Cory Petit (letters). We get into the heads of Scientist McGowan and the Hulk this issue. Matters of the mind shouldn't surprise fans what with Xemnu being in this story.

The Amazing Spider-Man #39 - Nick Spencer (writer) Iban Coello (art) Brian Reber (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This issue reminded me of the Odd Couple, Oscar and Felix. Spider-Man agrees to be a guest on Jonah's podcast and sparks fly as the two antagonists butt heads. It's all talk radio until the super villain crashes the party. Next issue should be less talk and more action.

Superman: Heroes #1 - Brian Michael Bendis, Matt Fraction & Greg Rucka (writers) Kevin Maguire, Mike Perkins, Steve Lieber, Mike Norton & Scott Godlewski (art) Paul Mounts, Gabe Eltaeb, Andy Troy & Nathan Fairbairn (colours) Troy Peteri, Clayton Cowles & Simon Bowland (letters). This $5.99 US one-shot is tied-in quite closely with what's been going on in Action Comics & Superman. It looks at the consequences of Superman revealing his secret identity and it's well worth reading.

Doctor Strange #3 - Mark Waid (writer) Kev Walker (art) Java Tartaglia (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This is a great one issue story if you want to check this new run out. Doctor Strange fights an artistic demon to save lives.

Gwen Stacy #1 - Christos Gage (writer) Todd Nauck (art) Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). I liked this better than The Amazing Mary Jane maybe because it deals with a younger high school aged Gwen. This story takes place before Gwen and Peter become friends and lovers and involves her father Captain Stacy and his investigation of New York's mob. There are a trio of bad guys that you'll recognise but the big deal super villains don't show up until the last page. If they don't get you to pick up the next issue, nothing will.

Batman: Pennyworth R.I.P. #1 - James Tynion IV & Peter J. Tomasi (writers) Eddy Barrows & Eber Ferreira, Chris Burnham, Marcio Takara, Diogenes Neves, David Lafuente and Sumit Kumar (art) Adriano Lucas, Rex Lokus & Nathan Fairbairn (colours) Travis Lanham & Thomas Napolitano (letters). This one-shot tribute to Alfred shows us what a dysfunctional family Bruce has created. I would have preferred a more touching send off to this beloved character like the one Brian Michael Bendis wrote for Ultimate Spider-Man/Peter Parker. Damian, Tim, Jason and Barbara reminisce about the butler and then Ric Grayson chimes in with a story about Nightwing. Who the heck is Ric Grayson? I thought Alfred deserved better than this.

Nebula #1 - Vita Ayala (writer) Claire Roe (art) Mike Spicer (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I'm ambivalent when it comes to this cyborg killer but I wanted to see if that might change by reading this 5-issue mini. She finds a scientist who has built a device that can predict the future and has him implant it so it's integrated into her cybernetic system. The untested tech winds up screwing with her head. I didn't change my opinion of Nebula with this first issue and I can see where the rest of the story is going so I'll leave the rest on the racks.

Superman #20 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Ivan Reis, Joe Prado & Oclair Albert (art) Alex Sinclair & Jeremiah Skipper (colours) Dave Sharpe (letters). There's action: Superman dukes it out with Mongul. There's drama: The Daily Star is trying to discredit Clark, Lois and the Daily Planet. And there's a surprise appearance of an old friend. There's everything a good comic book needs to grab my attention and want to keep reading.

Marvels X #2 - Alex Ross & Jim Krueger (writers) Well-Bee (art) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I was fooled by the truck driver who picked up the kid because of the red beard, sunglasses and No Fear baseball cap. I thought it was Matt Murdock in disguise but I was surprised by who it actually was. Daredevil does turn up later in this issue as he and Spider-Man help to keep David safe. The kid's important because he could help find a cure for what's infecting humanity.

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femmescripter · 5 years

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Mama's Big Boy - A Rise of the TMNT AU ft. Venus de Milo

This AU was originally thought up by @ninja-cake-bicht. And as such the following story was inspired by their genius. Meanwhile my friend @leeleearts simply adores the Jonatello pairing. So I thought; "Why not do both?". Which is what I did! Before I tell the mini story, let me explain a few things.

First and foremost in this alternate universe Donnie was adopted by Big Mama. The origins of which I'll cover very soon in the story. Now don't worry - the heroes in green aren't a member short. They are still a quad squad because Venus de Milo, who's headcanon voice actress is Victoria Justice, takes center stage! The species of turtle I picked for her is the diamondback terrapin. I felt that this species best suited Venus's aesthetic and over all look. Lastly Casey is depicted as a Latino American as I have depicted him in my other Jonatello stories.

Now that we have those details stated for the record, on with the backstory of the Mama’s Big Boy AU~

🐢💜🕷

In the underground mystic city just beneath New York City, everyone knows who Big Mama is. A Jorōgumo yokai who is a generous matriarch to her citizens. She is also very glamorous in appearance despite her undisclosed, and “frankly none of your bloody damn business” as she says, age. Of course this mother to her people is no pushover. Should you break her number rule or threaten her people you can expert to get quite the deadly spanking from Big Mama. But even with all of her power, wealth and esteem there was one thing the spider yokai wanted most that she didn’t have…a child.

You see while it is her name, or at least an alias she uses in place of her real name, Big Mama isn’t a literal mother. She is sadly unable to have children due to a run in with her old enemy Baron Draxum, a mutant yokai scientist who constantly tries to usurp her rule, that left her wounded internally. While she survived it all but destroyed her uterus. And for such a family oriented person like Big Mama she may as well have died. This meant that she would never have the one thing she always hoped to have. Never have that precious little bundle snuggled up in her arms. And to lose that gift made her hate Draxum even more. For a long time Big Mama only put on a brave face for her people while she cried tears over her personal loss alone.

Then one day she decided to pull herself out of this rut. How? By getting a pet. However she didn’t pick just any animal to be her critter companion. Being a woman of unique tastes Big Mama got an animal that likely not many women would consider having. It was a male soft shell turtle. She named him Donovan but often called him by the loving nicknames of “Donnie” or “Big D”. She had adopted Donnie when he was just a baby soft shell, and after he turned four years old Big Mama got a rather big idea; she could turn Donovan into the child she always wanted. And that’s exactly what she did. Utilizing her powerful yokai magic Big Mama transformed the normal little turtle into a not so normal bipedal mutant turtle. The changed soft shell turtle, who Big Mama noticed had gained very thick sable black haired eyebrows after the transformation, blinked his eyes a few times as he adjusted to his new form. Big Mama then walked over to Donnie, knelt before him as a mother would her child and greeted him.

“Hello, my little silk thread. Do you know who you are? Do you know…who I am?” Big Mama asked carefully, afraid of what the kind of answer she would get.

Without hesitation the little mutant boy spoke up.

“Sure. I’m Donnie, and you’re my mama.” Donnie replied in a cute voice with a smile.

After that any prior feelings of fear or sorrow the Jorōgumo had were thrown out the window. And they were replaced with feelings of elation and motherly love. She hugged Donnie like he was the life line she was seeking out for so long and sobbed happy tears. That became the start of a new life for the both of them.

But, this wasn’t the only new life that began. At the same time someone else going through a new life change under different circumstances. Up on the surface of New York a man named Chung I, a retired shinobi master who lives in the Chinatown District and spends his days running an artisan store he owns, was going about his usual business. He had just left the local market after buying food for his dinner. Chung hummed a little tune to himself as he walked down his usual street, but noticed that up ahead the neighborhood on again off again couple were having yet another public and heated argument. Not wanting to get in the middle of things Chung cut down into an alley that was a short cut to his house. And doing this actually turned out to be a blessing. Not for him…but for someone else.

As he was in the stretch to getting to his abode Chung heard something. A sound, specifically crying. Not from an animal but from a little child. This did not surprise the retired master because, sadly, orphaned or abandoned children are a dime a dozen in New York. So honing his keen ears he listened for where the crying was coming from. Eventually it led him to a bunch of potted plants left out behind the florist shop because they were wilting. Chung peeked behind the dying flora and started to ask the crying child what was wrong. But his question was caught in his throat when he saw just who, or rather what, the child was.

It was…a humanoid turtle child that appeared to be no older than age six. They had chartreuse green skin and, by the look of it’s shell pattern and coloring, the child was of the diamondback species. As Chung examined the child he saw that they had cuts and bruises all over their legs and arms. Some were old and some appeared fresh, caused by both animals and people. Chung said nothing at first as he watched the child cry for a moment more. Then he finally spoke up and the diamondback terrapin whipped it’s head around to face him. This motion allowed Chung to see that the child also had freckles on their cheeks and as well as more injury marks. At first the child backed away in fear, grabbing a piece of old wood to hold up as a makeshift weapon in their defense. The child nervously told the retired master to go away, and by the sound of the voice Chung could now tell the child was a girl. Though he was shocked by the fact that the humanoid turtle could speak he wasn’t afraid. Regardless of her odd appearance this was still a child. And Chung could not simply leave her alone. So, with a kind smile he spoke to her.

“What is your name, small one?” Chung asked. For a while she didn’t speak to him until she finally did.

“I…I d-don’t have a n-name.” The girl turtle replied with a nervous stutter.

“Hm. Well, we’ll just have to change that won’t we? But first I’ll tend to your wounds and give you a nice meal. It’s just as well, too, since I always hate to eat alone.” Chung said.

“…Do you m-mean that?” The girl turtle asked with less of a stutter, lowering the piece of wood she was holding as she gazed at the human man in surprise.

“Of course. Even when retired, a shinobi helps those in need small one. And I want to help you. If you’ll let me at least.” Chung said with a sincere tone and a smile to match.

The diamondback terrapin said nothing. She just continued to stare at Chung. But then she tossed the piece of wood and rose up to her feet. Then she ran straight at Chung…and hugged onto his waist. She began to cry again but not with the same sadness. This was more a cry of relief. Chung smiled down at the child and patted her head then led her back to his home. They ate a hardy dinner together, and the girl turtle seemed to really love the plum sauce. She also appeared to be quite energetic. Given that Chung was able to come up with a name for her - Mei Pieh Chi. “Mei” for plum, “Pieh” for turtle and “Chi” for energy.

The turtle girl seemed to like that name and stuck with it. Then as Chung began to teach her new things, including various artworks, Mei learned about a particular famous sculpture of a woman with no arms. Immediately gaining a great fascination with the statue she adopted the nickname Venus de Milo, which eventually became her new preferred name. Chung had asked Venus where she came from to which the girl replied that she lost her memories of whatever prior life she had. But that was okay since it meant that she and Chung could make new, happy memories as father and daughter. A year into the forming of their unusual yet loving little family Chung took his daughter to Manhattan and introduced Venus to an old friend of his and his three sons.

This friend was a rat mutant named Splinter, and his sons were actually mutant turtles much like Venus. There was the oldest snapping turtle brother Raph, the red eared slider second oldest named Leo and the box turtle youngest boy named Mikey. The girl turtle was thrilled to not only have new friends she could talk to but also ones of her own kind, even if they were sub-species. The turtle brothers likewise took an immediate liking to Venus and declared her as their cousin. And as another year went by they gained a new human friend named April O’Neil. So while Venus’s life didn’t start out the best way, and much of her life is still a mystery, she’s very happy with how things turned out all the same. Though her home is the Chinatown District with her father she often goes to stay in the Lair within the sewers of Manhattan that her cousins call home.

(So now you all know how Big Mama came to adopt Donnie and how Venus is introduced into the mix. I hope that you especially enjoyed that, @ninja-cake-bicht. But it doesn’t end there. Oh no. For now we get into the origins of how the heroes in green meet Big D/Donnie in my alternate. And also of course how Casey is introduced which will involve some Jonatello goodness. This part goes out to you, @leeleearts ~)

🐢💜☠

Over the next several years, Donnie grew under the tutelage of his beloved parental figure Big Mama. She taught her boy everything she new from how to handle a business to how to fight and of course how to properly maintain one’s appearance. But of all the talents Donnie picked up his real specialty had to do with technology. Turns out Big Mama’s big boy was very intelligent and could take bits of scrap and turn it into advanced futuristic like tech. Big Mama was very proud of her son even though his evil genius tendencies concerned her a little. Donnie’s skills with machinery and computers also helped her own business advance on a grand scale, allowing her to run a more modernized city. This came in handy whenever emergency situations came up - like the one they were having right now. Three days ago Big Mama sent one of her lesser yokai spies, a Fu Dog yokai who had no name, to see what Baron Draxum was up to. Though young and new to the business the little yokai was quick on his feet and had the power to teleport. But the little yokai had yet to report back in the past day and a half.

Big Mama had a very bad feeling that Draxum or one of his lackeys were responsible. Using her magic Big Mama tried her best to locate where the small yokai may be. And to her shock he wasn’t even in the underground city…he was up on the surface in Manhattan, New York. While she could go up there and investigate she had to maintain leadership down here. So Donnie offered to venture up top and find the Fu Dog yokai himself. Naturally the spider yokai was a bit hesitant with allowing her son to go on a potentially dangerous mission. Especially since he’s only been up on the surface a few times. But after Donnie had assured his mother that he would be fine and stay in contact with her the Jorōgumo was finally convinced. And so, using the magic crystal embedded in his high tech goggles Donnie changed his form from turtle mutant to the look of a regular human teenage boy. Though Donnie was more partial to tech than magic he never the less learned some magic spells. In particular the spell of shapeshifting so that he could venture to the surface world undetected. After giving a parting hug to his mother Donnie went on his way.

Meanwhile, as the small yokai was being chased by Baron Draxum’s disguised goons, an actual human teenage boy was talking on the phone with a friend on the opposite side of town. The name of this fifteen year old boy is Amador Basilio “Casey” Jones, a friend of April’s back at her school and aspiring hockey player. April has been trying to officially introduce Casey to the turtles but all previous plans either got interrupted or something came up on Casey’s end which made him unable to meet April’s “other mystery buddies”. But tonight she was determined to have them meet. Which was actually what they were talking about on the phone. April told Casey to come over by Rucker Park in order to properly meet her friends and the Latino teen luckily had no other plans so he agreed. After setting a time Casey hung up and decided to stop for a slice of pizza before he headed to the park. He went to a local pizza shop that sold individual slices and intended to order his usual - black olives with grilled chicken and extra red pepper flakes.

Then as the chef turned in Casey’s direction and asked what he wanted, he was surprised when someone else echoed his order. Casey whipped his head around to the left to see who had made that same order. And when he saw who it was he was left speechless. It was a tall Native American teenage boy around his age with mocha tan skin, shoulder length sable black hair with a silver streak that was in an undercut style and had a few braids in it, very well groomed eyebrows, freckles going across the bridge of his nose, a swimmer’s physique and sunglasses with one lens that was colored red and the other lens tinted blue. He also had a rather unique clothing style, which seemed to be business casual mixed with techno punk, that was predominately purple in color. But whether it was his appearance or his looks Casey knew one thing for certain…he was struck with a case of the Crush Bug. After the teens stared at each other for a moment more the handsome boy spoke.

“Hi there.” Said the teen, snapping Casey out his stupor enough to reply.

“Uh, hey. So…you like pizza too?” Casey asked and mentally scolded himself for giving such a lame greeting while asking an equally lame question.

Fortunately the handsome boy wasn’t put off and actually chuckled a bit before responding yes. So together the teens got their similar pizza slice orders and headed outside, eating their slices as they sat at the patio table in front of the restaurant. As they chatted Casey found out that the mystery teen was named Donnie, who said that he arrived from downtown where he lived to look for his missing pet. And that after a while of fruitless results he stopped here to get a slice of pizza. Casey understood and after the two finished eating he offered to help Donnie look for his pet for a while before he had to go to Rucker Park. The handsome teen considered the offer for a moment before agreeing. And so they left the pizza shop and went down the next alley together. Little did they know that their encounter would lead to something much greater.

Later that night Raph, Venus, Leo and Mikey all partake in their weekly Cannonball Night in which they leap off a massively large building and make a literal splash in the rooftop pool. Their friend April of course snapped pictures of their epic dive and afterwards told the foursome that they will at last get to meet her friend Casey. Excited by this the group immediately head over to Rucker Park, with April getting a lift on Venus’s back as she uses her Zhiyuan/kite that her human father crafted for her to fly, but Raph stops mid leap to the next rooftop when he notices something. An unusual looking yet very cute dog like creature, shivering with fright. Naturally he goes over with the other turtles and April to investigate. But they’re not the only ones who come onto the scene…

A few moments before Raph spotted the spy yokai, Donnie was calling out to the creature by using a code phrase that it would know. He allowed Casey to help since he figured he had nothing else to lose. And it’s not like he would be around long to see exactly what his “pet” actually looked like since he said he was going to meet friends at Rucker Park. Even still Donnie kept asking himself why he allowed the human to help in the first place. Maybe he thought it was logical to get help. Or maybe he wanted some company for a short while. Or maybe…he found the human so cute he wanted to enjoy as much time as they could get. Immediately after that thought hit him though Donnie shook his head violently to knock it out.

“No, focus Donovan! Mom sent you on an important mission. You don’t have time to think about boys. No matter how cute, funny and fascinatingly edgy they are…Gaaaaggh!! Stop that!!” Donnie mentally yelled to himself.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t realize Casey was talking to him until he felt a tap on his shoulder. The disguised mutant turned to the real human who said that he may have found his pet, and pointed beyond an opening in the fence that went right into a construction site. Donnie looked through the opening and saw the familiar backside of the yokai. Elated to see that he was alright Donnie immediately ran through the opening to go and get him, and Casey ran after him.

This led the pair to encounter not only April holding the little yokai…but the other mutant turtles. At first Leo, Raph and Mikey tried to act like they were humans in costumes, Casey was stunned and April was trying to awkwardly explain that these were the friends she’s been trying to introduce him to. However the only ones who remained calm were Venus and Donnie. In fact they were more curious then surprised by one another. Venus said to Donnie that while he looked human his aura did not have an average mortal essence. Donnie grinned, impressed at the diamondback’s perceptiveness and confirmed that she was right - he wasn’t actually human. Casey asked what Donnie meant and before he could answer the disguised goons of Baron Draxum show up. They reveal their true forms and battle Mikey, Venus, Raph and Leo which results in the turtle brothers’ weapons getting destroyed. Luckily Venus’s own ch’i infused Emeici/Emei Daggers survive the fight. Donnie tries to fight them himself along with Casey’s help but they end up knocked to the side. The goons then grab the little yokai and take him along with April, plus an oblivious Chinese food delivery guy, right through a magic portal!

Raph, Venus, Leo and Mikey regroup along with Casey and Donnie and explain to the human who and what they are. Afterwards everyone turns to Donnie to ask who and he really is. Seeing that there’s no point in hiding it now the disguised mutant dispels his human form and reveals himself to be a mutant soft shell turtle. Raph, Venus, Leo and Mikey are left shell shocked(pun intended, and I nailed it) while Casey is left even more love struck than he was before. Donnie goes on to explain some of his backstory and that Big Mama sent him to find the little yokai that was taken along with April. And now he wants to help them save them both.

Agreeing to this the five turtles and single human first try to figure out how to open the magic portal again. Donnie would do it but he has yet to learn how to use such powerful magic. As luck would have it they actually do have a way to open it - by using an old Japanese compass like artifact that the father of the turtle brothers Splinter possesses. Fortunately Leo manages to grab it without incident after giving him a bit of milk and cake.

The moment the portal opens the group of six go down and behold the glorious magic city that Donnie calls home. Even better they run into April, who is then formally introduced to the soft shell. When asked what became of the Fu Dog yokai April points to a castle which Donnie glares hard at, saying it belongs to the enemy of his mother - Baron Draxum. They stealthily sneak in and watch as the mutant yokai takes a vial filled with some type of ooze from the little yokai and uses it to fill up a giant hoard of mosquito like creatures. They continue to watch as Draxum takes one of the insect like beings and has it sting the food delivery guy and inject him with the ooze. The young man goes through a painful transformation from human to a fish like mutant. Baron Draxum praises himself at the success of his experiment then tells the Fu Dog yokai that he will deal with him next. Donnie and April refuse to let that happen, but only the former and Venus have weapons while the brothers are without any. Luckily for them though April managed to find an armory filled with them. This leads to Leo getting an Ōdachi sword, Mikey getting a Kusari-fundo and Raph getting a pair of tonfa. Venus isn’t interested in a mystical weapon herself, though she does take a sack of magic powder that catches her eye.

Armed with new weapons Raph and his brothers lead the way to take on Baron Draxum. Thus begins a battle royale with the five turtles going up against a giant mutant while Casey and April fight Draxum’s two gargoyles Huggin and Muninn. Though it’s a hard fight the turtles manage to take down the giant mutant, albeit on a somewhat accidental level, while April and Casey finally beat the gargoyle duo. And thus the group ends up fighting Draxum. The scientist makes short work of April and Casey by cocooning them in some kind of organic material, leaving only the turtles left. Unfortunately though Mikey, Leo and Raph have a hard time getting the hang of their new weapons and Venus tries to help each of them out. This leaves Donnie to face his mother’s enemy on his own. And after taking a close look at the soft shell mutant Draxum’s face takes on a new expression. One of contempt mixed with mild awe.

“So, you are that pestilent arachnid’s mutant son she turned from a pet turtle. I believe you go by the name Donovan?” Draxum asked with an eyebrow raised in mock curiousness as he and Donnie slowly circled each other.

“That’s Big D to you, Draxum. And my mother is no pestilence. She’s approximately seventy seven times the ruler you could ever aspire to be. And she’s not as cruel as you are to actually mutate a whole city.” Donnie stated with a glare as he twirled his staff.

“Not cruel, young turtle. I am changing this world into a utopia for all mutants. I am helping the humans unleash their true selves. And once this entire state is mutated I will move on to the next state, and then the state after that. Soon all the world will be filled with beings like you and I. A great feat that I will be praised for accomplishing.” Draxum explained.

“Over your dead body, you sorry Satyr ripoff. I’m going to stop you.” Said the teenage mutant with a challenging snap in his voice.

“Ha! Please, don’t make me laugh. As you can clearly see your friends can barely stop themselves.” Draxum said, gesturing to the turtles were still struggling the foul-ups of their respective weapons. “What makes you think that you will perform any better, son of the web?”

“Well our fighting styles, for one thing. Though I find nothing wrong with magic I prefer to fight the old fashioned way. With impossibly futuristic high tech weaponry!” Donnie exclaimed and then proceeded to attack the self-proclaimed baron.

The two had a very intense fight, and Donnie nearly had Draxum on the ropes. Unfortunately Mikey and his out of control Kusari-fundo bumped into him, then into Venus and they all ended up tumbling about. Draxum then trapped them, Leo and Raph in the same cocooning material. But just before he could do anything more Donnie pointed out that Draxum’s containment machine with all of his Oozequitoes was at critical mass and about to blow up. Sure enough the big machine began to break apart, with one piece of structure falling on Draxum. Luckily this freed the Fu Dog yokai who was able to teleport everyone to safety. And while they ended up breaking Splinter’s artifact they none the less defeated their enemy, at least for the moment. But not all is good as the Oozequitoes managed to slink into the surface world just before the portal closed up. Donnie groans at this and finally calls Big Mama to report the good news and the bad news of the situation. Naturally she is concerned and intrigued about the Oozequitoes but she’s more happy that Donnie and the little yokai, which April just named Mayhem, are safe. Mayhem then asks Big Mama if he could stay with April since he’s taken a shine to her. Surprised by this but not opposed the spider yokai agrees so long as Mayhem gives regular reports on how things are going.

Donnie then makes something of a similar request, asking if he can visit the surface every once in a while to help out his fellow turtle mutants and their friends. But while Donnie says that Big Mama notices her son’s eyes settle on one person in particular - Casey Jones. And sure enough she can see through the screen of the magic communicator that the human boy has his eyes settled on Donnie. Giving a knowing grin Big Mama gives her son permission to help the turtles and humans. She also slips in this little bit of motherly wisdom…

“Just remember, my little silk thread, when you ‘help’ your new male human friend no kissing unless you’ve had at least three dates.” Big Mama said with absolutely no shame.

“Oh my vanilla wafers, MOM!!” Donnie exclaimed in embarrassment with a blush on his face while the turtles and April giggled and Casey had a smaller, yet still noticeable blush on his face and a goofy smile to boot.

Big Mama then has a portal open at Donnie’s location and he bids his fellow turtles and the humans farewell. At least for now. But before he goes Casey gives him something…his cellphone number. Donnie smiles brightly and says he’ll call him tomorrow. And of course Casey gets no end of teasing praise from the turtles and April. Likewise the soft shell cannot escape his mother’s gushing over her big boy’s first ever crush.

All in all though, it was a fun night out. And it would be the starting point of many adventures to come for the mutant turtles and humans.

Whew! Gol-ly that took way longer than I expected it to. But never the less I was happy to finish it. And I hope that you all enjoyed reading it. Please let me know what you think of the origin story I made for Venus as well as how I depict Donnie’s change of origins in this, the Big Boy AU. And of course don’t forget to thank @ninja-cake-bicht for coming up with this headcanon! Also be sure to check out the illustrations of @leeleearts because she’s really good at what she does. Also I want to provide three extra bits of confirmation. One, when Mayhem was speaking to Big Mama he wasn’t speaking in an English language. He was speaking in his native yokai tongue which only Donnie and Big Mama can understand. Second, Venus uses the sack of magic powder she took from Baron Draxum’s armory to create all sorts of ninja smoke bombs with varying effects from granting temporary invisibility to paralyzing enemies for a short while. However the smoke bombs have a tendency to backfire on them. And third, acting as the voice actor of Chung I is Jackie Chan. Just thought I should tell you all in case you were curious.

That’s all I got to share folks. Until next time, toodles~!

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round up // JULY 20

New music is saving 2020! This is one of my most music-and-musical-heavy Round Ups yet, not even counting the Beverly Hills Cop theme I’ve been whistling and dancing to around my apartment this week. (Don’t judge—you’ll do it to if you watch any of those movies.) And speaking of movies, I’ve got three new movies from 2020 to recommend! When theatres reopen I might go every week even if there’s nothing I’m excited to see, but I’m thankful for VOD movies to tide me over in the meantime.

July Crowd-Pleasers

This Twitter Thread

I’ve laughed out loud so many times I don’t care if this thread is made up. An anonymous Frenchman is documenting the “adventures” of a British family with a vacation home next door and no clue what Brexit actually means. This journey is a sardonic roller coaster, but I appreciate this tweeter isn’t devoid of empathy.

The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)

An insanely satisfying legal thriller that will have you shouting at your TV. Matthew McConaughey is a hot shot lawyer who doesn’t care if his clients are guilty, but he starts to reconsider that position with his newest (Ryan Philippe). What seems like a cut-and-dry defense of a man wrongfully accused escalates into so much more. I’ll stay scant on the details so the twists can surprise you as much as they did me. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Summer Jams

2020 has gotten, um, a bad reputation, but I’d like to give it a shout-out for one of the best years of summer pop music in a long time. The last time I remember jamming to this many songs on the radio was 2013, the summer of “Mirrors,” “Get Lucky,” “Roar,” and “I Love It.” Thanks to Harry Styles, Lady Gaga, the Jonas Brothers, and Doja Cat, I keep flipping through radio stations looking for the next new song that will make me bop. Enjoy a round up of my favorite summer songs of 2020 so far on Spotify above.

Focus (2015)

As noted last month, I love when a heist movie can pull a fast one on me. Focus may not be a creative height of either Will Smith’s or Margot Robbie’s careers, but it’s a romantic and funny story of two con artists with just enough plot twists to keep me guessing. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

Love Crazy (1941)

William Powell and Myrna Loy appeared in 14 movies together, and their chemistry in this zany romantic comedy shows us why. The premise starts with their married characters planning an eccentric anniversary celebration, but somehow it escalates to a legal declaration of his insanity. (Unlike My Man Godfrey, Powell is the comic instead of the straight man this time.) While how we talk about mental health has changed much in the last 80 years, this comedy is so screwball it can’t be taken seriously as commentary. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell star in a musical light on songs but huge on charm, laughs, and diamonds. In a perfect world, we would have gotten more musicals directed by Howard Hawks, but if we could only have one, this is proof we’re not living in the darkest timeline. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

Double Feature — Very Silly Spoofs: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) + The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)

I’m very late to both of the parties for Monty Python (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) and The Naked Gun (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10), so all I need to say about these absurd comedies is the hype didn’t ruin them for me.

Fast & Furious (2009)

In a strange turn of events, I finally succumbed to watching all Fast and Furious flicks. (Blame it on quarantine.) While my favorite remains the spin-off Hobbs & Shaw (maybe because it’s so unlike a normal movie in this franchise, sorry), the fourth movie is another highlight. It features one of the best character team-ups before the stunts become hilariously unrealistic and acknowledges some of the moral complexities of the plot, which is surprisingly uncharacteristic for a movie series about, um, criminals. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

Double Feature — Action Crime Movies Based on True Stories in the ‘70s: Donnie Brasco (1997) + The Bank Job (2008)

In, Donnie Brasco (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10), Johnny Depp is an FBI agent undercover in the Mob, keeping an eye on Al Pacino. In The Bank Job (Crowd: 8.5 // Critic: 7.5/10), Jason Statham is caught up in an MI6 plot to save political face by breaking into a London bank. Both are tense, twisty, and somehow true.

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Jim Gaffigan: Cinco (2017)

While he’s best known for jokes about food, I’ll always appreciate how his self-deprecating jokes are never really just about his appearance or his many children, though he’s funny enough he could get away with that.

Covers by Switchfoot (2020)

Harry Styles! Vampire Weekend! My music tastes past and present collide in this album of bops Switchfoot covered this year.

Beverly Hills Cop III (1994)

This is really just a plug to watch all three Beverly Hills Cop movies for Eddie Murphy at his funniest, Judge Reinhold at his most underrated, and a score so catchy you’ll be dancing to it for days. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

July Critic Picks

Hamilton (2020)

Who knew? Listening to the Hamilton soundtrack is not the same as watching it in the room where it happens. I reviewed the filmed production with the original cast for ZekeFilm, which was a treat since my May theatre tickets were cancelled. At least we’re not dealing with formal duels in 2020! Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 10/10

Double Feature — Journalism Films Based on True Stories in the ‘70s: All the President’s Men (1976) + Zodiac (2007)

Maybe it’s just because I have a degree in Journalism, but I appreciate a story about a good story. In All the President’s Men (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10), Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman are digging into the Watergate scandal at The Washington Post even when no one else thinks there’s anything to investigate. On the opposite coast in Zodiac (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10), Jake Gyllenhaal and Robert Downey Jr. are hunting the Zodiac Killer at the San Francisco Chronicle with the help of police officer Mark Ruffalo. This double feature focuses on reporters so committed to their work it comes at personal cost, but it highlights the need for people who are that committed to the truth to make our society function.

Greyhound (2020)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a studio in possession of a good World War II script must be in want of Tom Hanks, and we can always feel the warmest gratitude for any means of uniting them. I reviewed the film Hanks wrote himself for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

Dark Waters (2019)

Mark Ruffalo plays a real-life lawyer who helped investigate DuPont and change legislation on chemicals. A different kind of legal thriller than The Lincoln Lawyer, but yet another movie confirming Mark Ruffalo is a treasure. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

These Pieces on How We Interact With Media

I’m a believer in good journalism (see above), so I appreciate when writers do some self-examination on their own craft. I’ve been on an Instagram break the last few months because it’s been contributing to an anxiety spiral re: world events. It’s easy to talk in hyperbole, to complain, and to dehumanize others on the Internet, and I know I’m guilty of all three, so kudos to these writers for speaking on them.

“The Power of Media and Misinformation in the Age of Coronavirus,” DarlingMagazine.org (April 20)

“My Big Old Rant,” SeanDietrich.com (July 10)

“Kanye West and the Media Are Once Again Playing a Dangerous Game,” Vulture.com (July 13)

Brightest Blue by Ellie Goulding (2020)

You might know Ellie for her electro-pop hits, but I’ve always preferred her ballads that let her unique vocals shine. Brightest Blue is another collection of both styles, and it’s another strong outing from one of my favorite singers.

West Side Story by Richard Barrios (2020)

The making of West Side Story is a classic collision between art and commerce. This new Turner Classic Movies book details the many conflicts between the creative team, cast, and financiers to make one of the most beloved musicals and most Oscar-winning films in history, and you might be surprised it made it to the screen at all after reading it.

The Vast of Night (2020)

The Twilight Zone-esque movie is all about some weird happenings over the airwaves in a small town. Two high school students, one a nighttime radio host and the other a phone operator, team up to investigate a mysterious noise they’re hearing. The filmmaking is unconventional but gripping, and the story has major Stranger Things vibes, which is only helped by the fact that one of the stars looks a lot like Sadie Sink. (FYI, her name is actually Sierra McCormick.) Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

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folklore by Taylor Swift (2020)

It’s tricky to put into words what new music from Taylor Swift means to me because her words have been part of my life for over a decade and I admire what she shares of her creative process so much. Her unexpected eighth album is nothing like Lover—instead it’s a sonic and poetic continuation of songs and themes from Fearless and RED, her two most sock-me-in-the-gut-and-how-did-you-get-a-hold-of-my-journal collections. Just 11 months ago she released an album I said was her best yet, but I’m saying it again and even faster than last time.

Bonus: Enjoy this piece about the inspiration for her song “Last Great American Dynasty” from St. Louis Magazine.

Westworld (1973)

Before Jurassic Park, Michael Chrichton wrote and directed another sci-fi adventure set at a theme park with a Hunger Games flair. Here we go to a Western-themed resort where almost-human robots serve patrons’ every whim—that is, until they start rewriting their programming. At least we aren’t dealing with homicidal robot cowboys in 2020! Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10

Also in July…

I wrote a tribute to Olivia de Havilland after her passing at 104. She’s best known as Melanie in Gone With the Wind, but I’ll argue that’s not the best showcase of her talent.

The Best Picture Project continues with Clark Gable! He starred in 1934’s It Happened One Night and 1935’s Mutiny on the Bounty, but I’m only recommending one of them for your viewing pleasure. You can scroll a little further back or read the reviews here:

It Happened One Night – Crowd // Critic

Mutiny on the Bounty – Crowd // Critic

On SO IT’S A SHOW?, our pop culture references spanned 250 years with 1976’s Rocky and the 1726 novel Gulliver’s Travels. We found a crazy number of connections between Gilmore Girls actor Milo Ventimiglia and Sylvester Stallone, and we figured out what the hey the word “brobdingnagian” means.

You can keep up with everything I’m watching in real time on Letterboxd, where I’ve rounded up my favorite journalism films, including All the President’s Men, It Happened One Night, and Zodiac.

Images: Switchfoot, Media, Ellie Goulding, West Side Story. all others IMDb.com.

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