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spongebob-connoisseur · 3 years

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Got any Spongebob hot takes? About a season, episode, character, etc?

You know, I'm pretty stuck on this. This has been sitting in my inbox for so long. Its so hard to remember these on the spot. I only remember when I'm talking about other stuff lol brainz werk in mysterious ways lol

But I'll still try!

- slappy is the best thing to ever exist.

- Squidabeth is the best thing to ever exist.

Okay before this turns into a brainrot list. Here's the actual hot takes!

-Nerd spongebob is superior sponge. I know later seasons focus more on him being more babyish/childish. But ehh I miss his more nerdier personality.

- I'm okay with the spinoffs. I get so tired always having to clarify on the spinoffs all the time. Jeez do your own research, I ain't magic or working inside with Nick (I wish) I'm tired. I have my concerns and issues otherwise but like if you want to watch it then do it. If you don't then just don't.

- man why did it take so long for Sandy to interact with the other female characters? Why did it take so long for any of the characters to interact? Its random but I was thinking about this a while ago. I get the show is Spongebob Squarepants. Everything is from his POV. But a lot of the female characters could use a little more development. I want an episode focused on Mrs. Puff outside of boating school. She's into metal. She's already cool. Pls let her become a rock star pls. Or just another Sandy/Karen episode because they're so cute together. Its so weird to think about all of them only begun to interact recently.

- I really want them to bring back Pearl being gifted at math!! So much story potential. I'll be honest, I don't like whenever shows got that stereotypical teenage girl character™ no reason but they get a little annoying if you leave it like that. Pearl was apparently supposed to be more apart of the main cast but didn't get used so often. Come on!! I wanna see her hang out with Squidina!! I really like Squidina.

- there's no such thing as a bad episode with The Flying Dutchman. Never. Even the worst ones are still amusing.

- Dutchy probably doesn't pay child support. I just wanted to say that xD

- there is no way Squishwart is heterosexual

- shows timeline is

- first episode any episode where Perch is orange, any episode where Perch is purple, 2nd movie, 1st movie.

Not a complete time line but ya kno. There's two timelines tho! Same as the first but kamp koral takes place in the beginning, then the patrick show. Then we start at the first episode. Then after that, the 3rd movie takes place between the 2nd and 1st movie.

Hope I didn't lost ya there.

- oh yeah! Perch's skin color probably changed with age. Some fishes change color with maturity! I headcanon orange being earlier, and purple being later.

I know you might point out the fish in Ripped Pants. He doesn't look much like Perch. Looks a lot older so I'm just gonna headcanon that it's Perch's dad.

- Kamp koral was kinda boring. The better episodes are when they focus on side characters or new characters. Idk its just not interesting when they focus it on the main cast. Excluding the one where Squidward and Patrick gets lost in the woods together. That was cute. Though my favorite episode is either the one with young Perch or the night cabin.

- season 1 is elite. It's my favorite season of all time. I could go on and on about what I love about this season but everything about it feels so wholesome yo.

- my favorite season amongst the modern era is probably 10? I know that's fan favorite of the modern era. I'd also say season 12 too. Which is an unpopular season due to the expressions but I find myself revisiting season 12 often. Its weird but fun to go back to every so often.

- a lot of spongebob has been ragged on unfairly. I know I always come for the middle seasons but even they are over hated. Its amusing tho how the middle seasons were so hated in the previous years. Nowadays they get more love because the kids who grew up with them has grown to appreciate them. Now its the modern seasons that get a lot of hate. Often times for just being different.

- ehh classic elites kinda ruin the show for me. I wouldn't say this is a be all end all. I still like the classic era and of course nothing can replace how witty and funny it was. But geez these people take it so seriously that it just sucks the fun out of it. Its fun to express your love for spongebob online but they always gotta rag on it and insult people who don't hate everything that came out after the movie. Its ironic considering I used to be a classic elitist. Every so often when I see them raging online, I'm like "jeez was that me?" It gets so exhausting to hate on the show. I also think its a little weird how they've martyred Hillenburg while also acting like the gods of justice by sending death threats to his colleagues and friends. Ehh they get pretty invasive at times. Its kinda uncomfortable.

- on that note. I also find it annoying how people are like "oh kids today will never know how good spongebob was!" Like the classic era doesn't constantly rerun on tv to this day. Jeez I was too young to even remember the classic era when it first began airing. Yet the classic era was what was on tv most of the time. Its like how adults assume kids don't know what vhs tapes/CDs are just because it isn't as popular as it used to. They don't magically disappear the moment something new comes out.

You know that reminds me, when I was a teen, I used to purposely act like I didn't know what some stuff were just to make adults feel like they're out of touch. "Facebook? what is that?" "Britney Spears? Never heard of her" it's so funny.

- Ngl I keep rewatching the Patrick show just to feel something

- mr. Krab's cheapiness went so out of control. Mans due for a spinoff just to rework his character so he can become tolerable again.

- from reading the spongeBob pitchbible and the mussel beach episode. My only thoughts were "spongebob has two hands, one for Sandy, one for Larry"

- the best episodes of Patrick is when he's being sweetly stupid. He's dumb but he knows and loves his friends. That's like the baseline for Patrick. He'd be terribly hurt if he upset them and he cares about them to the end of the earth. If you make patrick a jerk because he's stupid then you've failed to understand him.

- oh also, I'm pretty sure Bunny and Cecil are Pat's adoptive parents. Pat said in Home Sweet Pineapple that his parents kicked him out. I imagine when he did get kicked out, he wasn't prepared so he probably got adopted by the closest Sea Star family around. Thus the Patrick show was born! I already do find Pat's parents questionable. Like letting their daughter get lost like that, or mental training with a bell that managed to even have spongebob say they screwed Patrick up. Bunny and Cecil seem like healthier parents for pat. Plus he got another sister :)

- another thing, ehh Spongebob's parents and family in general are either questionable to outright awful. Man his uncle sherm really kicked out his own son??? captain blue couldn't listen to spange when he desperately needed help? Also spongebob's parents neither taking him seriously and seem to have their own issues too.

- on the note of poor family figures. I'm certain Mr. Krabs father Victor Krabs abandoned his family. Mr krabs grew up dirt poor with only his mother supporting him. I also assume Mr. Krab's other family is also kinda sucky since he didn't really introduce any of them to Pearl. Probably for a reason. Though his mom in the comics seems to have known about Pearl. She's probably the only krab in the family he really cares about.

- Sandy and Karen SHOULD get together. I don't make the rules 😤 😤

- patchy is good. I don't get why is he so hated. I also really like potty :)

- the 2nd movie is a comfort movie for me.

- they really brought the best music for the ScaredyPants episode. Also I find it kinda funny how they found such a hyper specific band for the show. The Ghastly Ones. A horror surf rock band. It fits too well and I like them enough to listen to their other songs just because.

- Ngl its satisfying when spongebob gets angry/frustrated. You dont see those emotions in him. Its either extreme joy or extreme sadness. It adds an interesting bit of nuance to his character.

And that's it! Or at least the only ones I can think of on the spot so uhh. Here ya go!

#Ask #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #sb #spongebon squarepants #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob meme

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youarestellarverse · 3 years

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The last thing I need for this stupid project is yet another WIP but I was talking with @ternaryflower53 a while back about les mis and now, well.

I'm going to end up writing a piece about the Les Mis production from Nico and Will's POVs.

Because a lot of it is Percy and Jason pining after each other (unknowingly, in Percy's case), but it's actually Nico's story.

Full semi-coherent fic-spoilery rambling under the cut, but the condensed version is that I'm sort of transplanting his arc from the books into the run of a show, which means I definitely need to finish my reread before I try to tackle this. 😅 It's proving surprisingly effective so far in the plotting, though!

I also seriously need to fill in the rest of the show holes so I know the history and their previous experiences. I need to do a lot of things to fill a lot of holes, actually.

.........heh. 😏

So— I have thus far that Nico sang in church choir, but never even told his friends he goes to church, so nobody has a clue that he's actually got some training and can sight-read music. (I do have a subplot about Nico and religion that's an homage to someone extremely dear to me, so uh, warning, that's coming.)

(Except Hazel. Nico also plays piano, which is another secret talent that only she knows about. He accompanies and does duets with her when he's certain they're alone.)

SO I realized also Hazel can't be Little Red because it's high school and she'd be in seventh grade, which works better anyway because then what happens is she's nervous about her first audition and he reluctantly auditions with her for moral support, thinking he won't get in

(his audition song is Out There from Hunchback of Notre Dame. Will is in the same audition slot, and the crescendo is the precise moment at which he falls in love. Lou Ellen has to close his mouth for him.)

Thalia is deeply impressed by his emotive expression, upper range, volume control, and ability to sustain a high note, so she calls him back for Valjean alongside Percy and Leo. In the same room as Percy, Nico chokes and can't manage any louder than pianissimo.

He storms out of the auditorium, so Percy runs after him. Nico, being Nico, kind of lashes out at him, cementing Percy's misconception that Nico hates him.

So Percy gives him advice: "Take that anger and use it."

And he manages to buck up enough courage to stop the production team before they leave, to give him one more chance.

He indeed takes that anger and uses it, it's just that it's anger directed inwards, and he uses a lot less anger than he does shame.

He crushes Valjean's Soliloquy. He convinces himself he did so badly before that it doesn't matter. He doesn't even look at the cast list when it goes up, just hears Hazel report back that she's playing Eponine and flees.

Jason has to track him down, because they kind of need their Jean Valjean before they can start rehearsal, and Nico bluescreens for about thirty seconds before narrowing his eyes and asking if it's a sick joke

They run through One Day More and everyone stares. A lot. They're staring because they're blown away, but at first he thinks it's because he was terrible...and then comes the flood.

"HOLY SHIT"

"Nico you're AMAZING"

"Where have you been all this time???"

"What the fuck else are you hiding, dude?" < from Percy; Nico dies a little inside because a lot, actually

AND BASICALLY— going through Valjean's arc and spending time with the cast starts him on his own healing, on realizing he had "come to hate the world, this world that always hated me!"

And alongside this, he's kind of forced to confront his feelings for Percy, partly because he's now constantly steeping in Hazel's part when she practices (and yes, that's half of why she's Eponine, the other half being that Frank is Marius and they're absolutely That Pair who has Excellent Chemistry and always end up cast opposite each other).

(Nico wears noise-cancelling headphones during A Little Fall of Rain, with a stagehand, usually Sally, next to him to tap his shoulder when he's coming up on his cue. He managed to watch it once and immediately had to leave, because watching/listening to Hazel have a death scene hits way too close to Bianca 🥺)

I also have Jason playing two roles: Grantaire and the Bishop, specifically because of the whole "INTENSE EYE CONTACT WHILE DRINKING POISON" thing. I think they get close during the run of the show because Jason picks up on Nico's crush— "call it an educated guess based on personal experience—" and thus they commiserate over their pining.

He also spends a ton of time with Reyna, since she's Javert. I think they didn't really know each other, but part of why Thalia cast him is because they blew everyone else out of the water with their natural chemistry.

And yeah. Acting lets him feel things from a safe distance, which makes it easier for him to feel them for real. He blossoms a little late, but it's magnificent to behold.

#spaghetti throwing #the musical theater portion of the au #I try to stay out of the character tags but I figure if you follow this blog you don't need them tagged lol #fic spoilers

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anythingandeverything1d · 4 years

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The tape (part 7)

Part: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Your pov:

You made it to the car before the tears started. They were rapidly falling down your cheeks, clouding your vision and your mind. Of course Niall had said that, of course he thought you were making a mistake going back to Harry so quickly. Hell, EVERYONE probably thought it was a mistake to trust him so easily again, but no one knew. They didn’t know how you felt, how Harry felt, or everything the two of you had gone through together. They knew nothing and yet they all had the audacity to judge your actions in the situation. You started the car, needing to get away from his house as fast as possible, but also having no idea where to go. You didn’t want to go home. You didn’t want Harry to see you like this and risk him getting upset and losing whatever feelings he had figured out with Niall, thus being the person to once again ruin One Directions already uncertain future. You also didn’t want to drive to Liam or Louis’ and involve them after your previous conversation where you told them to back off and let you and Harry figure it out on your own. You pulled out of the driveway, looking in the mirror as you left, Niall sitting on the porch in tears, calling out your name. You almost went back, almost gave him another chance to explain, but you also knew he needed to be sober and willing to talk before that would ever work out.

You decided a drive would be good, but you didn’t have anywhere specific in mind you wanted to go. You just thought that a little wind in your hair with your music blaring was exactly the distraction you needed before going home to Harry and explaining the events that had unfolded. You turned the volume up, rolled the windows down and sang along, “why men great till they gotta be great, woo, I just took a DNA test, turns out, I’m 100% that bitch.” you stopped at the red light, quieting your singing when the car next to you looked over with concerned faces. You probably looked like a crazy woman, tear stained cheeks, puffy eyes, and singing Lizzy at the top of your lungs, it was almost a cry for help. You heard your phone buzzing and looked down at Harry’s name. You reached for the phone, which had fallen to the floor on the passenger’s side, when everything stopped, your vision went black, and the loud boom of a car hitting yours echoed through the intersection.

Harry’s pov:

It had been hours since (y/n) had left to go talk to Niall, HOURS. It shouldn’t have taken that long. Harry had texted her, called, and yet no response which was abnormal. Normally she would at least send a text back letting him know that everything was going okay. He had complete trust in her, but something wasn’t sitting right about the situation. He dialed Niall’s number, hoping to get some clarification but there was no answer from him either. He paced around the living room anxiously. What if she decided to chose Niall, what if she decided he was right, leaving Harry in the process. Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest, he had just gotten her back, he couldn’t lose her, not again. He clicked another contact and held the phone to his ear anxiously awaiting the answer. “Louis?”

“What do ya want now, fooking hell Harry, can’t seem to do anything without getting a call from you these days.”

“Sorry...sorry....it’s just-”

“Lemme guess, (y/n).”

“She’s been gone for hours...neither her or Niall are answering...I don’t know what to do.”

“Well I’m about to pull into Niall’s so I’ll let you know what they are up to.”

“Why are you at Niall’s?”

“He wanted to watch the game together. I didn’t know (y/n) was going over or I would’ve held off but I’m about there now so its a little late. I’ll send her home to you.”

Harry sighed and bit his lip, “I just want to know she’s okay...”

“I’m sure she is mate, just relax. I’m literally two minutes from his driveway.”

“You don’t think she would-”

“She’s not gettin it on with Niall. I think it’s pretty obvious who she loves and it isn’t the Irish lad.”

“Yeah, I’m probably just overreacting.”

“Exactly. Okay, I’m pulling in now. I don’t see her car...did she drive herself?”

“Yeah...yeah she would have her car.”

“Well maybe she’s on her way home...hang on Niall is on the porch, I’ll ask him.”

“Okay..” Harry’s nerves were going insane, he couldn’t even stand still. Something just didn’t feel right.

“Niall, when did (y/n) leave...” he heard Louis shouting to Niall but couldn’t quite make out the answer. “Are you sure?”

“What? What is it?”

“Niall says she left an hour ago.” Harry’s heart sank. If she wasn’t at Niall’s where was she? “I’m sure everything is okay...” Louis tried to reassure him, but it wasn’t working.

Harry hung up and dialed her number again, but there was still no answer. He called again, “come on (y/n).....answer.....answer....” No answer. He hung up and texted her, *everything okay? where are you?* He sat down and tried to think of what else to do...he might be able to track the phone but that wasn’t likely..she had blocked him from her location after the sex tape leaked. *Just let me know you are okay....Im getting worried* He dropped the phone to the couch and picked up the remote to turn on the tv, maybe some Friends would take his mind off it. He clicked resume on the episode and tried to focus but his phone buzzing immediately had his hopes up. “(y/n)?” he answered before looking at the number.

“No. It’s me.”

“Louis what the hell.”

“Turn on the news...”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Fine.” He turned the tv to cable and went to the local news station. “All I see is they are reporting an accident....”

“Yeah. Doesn’t that look like (y/n)’s car though?”

Harry’s breath was pulled from his chest as he anxiously waited for the car to be shown. There it was. A black car, he couldn’t quite make out the model but it looked like (y/n)’s. “We are currently awaiting police reports from the incident but can confirm there are two dead, and three that were care flighted in critical condition after the accident occurred. We will have more information for you right after the break.”

“Harry?” Louis’ voice cut through the silence. “It’s probably not her...”

“It was her car. I know it was. I mean I think-”

“Why don’t you come over to Niall’s and we can wait for more news...You shouldn’t be alone.”

“Yeah...yeah okay I will.”

“Alright good. See you soon.” Louis hung up and Harry grabbed his keys, trying to shake the thought from his head. Two dead.....was she one of the two? Was she in the hospital? Was she okay? His heart sank, the feeling of pressure on his chest. She had to be okay.

He drove to Niall’s fast, faster than he should’ve. He almost drove by the accident site, just to confirm if it was her car, but the traffic was lined up miles down the road as they had shut the intersection down due to the accident. He made it to Niall’s and pushed through the door, tears already in his eyes. “Are there any updates?” he sat down on the couch not even looking at Niall and Louis. Louis shifted uncomfortably and looked at Niall who put his head down. Harry looked over at them, his eyes searching for answers.

“Well...they explained that the white car there, they weren’t paying attention or some shit and slammed into the two other cars, the black and the what color is that? Green?” Louis was trying to explain it but Harry could barely listen as they showed the totaled cars.

“Two died so far, the other three are in the hospital with serious injuries.” Niall finished. He looked at Harry and sighed like he wanted to say more but also that he understood the situation and that it wasn’t the time.

“Is (y/n) okay?” Liam came walking in, looking around at the others sitting on the couch.

“We don’t know...there hasn’t been any news.” Louis said looking at Harry for any sign of emotion. Harry didn’t know what to feel. He felt hollow, like there was nothing left. He felt the way he had when (y/n) had pushed him away at Louis’ the night he tried talking to her. If (y/n) was gone, there was no hope left for him, he wasn’t sure he would ever be okay again without her.

“Well has anyone had any contact with her?” Liam was trying to be logical, trying to debunk the theory that it wasn’t her.

“Niall was the last one who talked to her.” Harry spat, looking at Niall. “He was the one who saw her last.”

“Did she say where she was going?” Liam looked at Niall who shook his head.

“We didn’t- she didn’t- we didn’t really end on the greatest of terms.”

Harry laughed, frustrated with the whole situation. “Of course.”

“What’s that supposed ta mean?” Niall stood up walking towards Harry.

“It means, she came to give you a second chance and you must've fucking blew it.”

“You know why I blew it?” Niall poked Harry’s chest. “Because I told her it was a fuckin mistake to trust you and go back to you after you fuckin cheated on her.”

Harry pushed Niall back, “You know what the mistake was? Trusting you with the sex tape secret. If I had told anyone else we wouldn’t be in this problem.”

“I should’ve told her the minute I found out, then at least her leaving you would've been on account for your actions and not mine.”

“She’s not leaving me.” Harry growled. “We are working things out.”

“Oh yeah?” Niall mocked. “Then why was she here? Why was she trying to talk ta me about the sex tape, about everything that happened?”

“Because she’s a better person than you will ever be. She’s trying to mend the relationship she had with you, so that you two can stay friends.”

“Friends? I wouldn’t say that. I think there’s something more there than she wants ta admit.”

“She told me she thought of you like a brother. Maybe you shouldn’t even get the title of friend though after breaking her down once again..”

“Then why did she let me kiss her huh?” Harry didn’t even say anything, his fist collided with Niall’s cheek, sending Niall stumbling back. Louis grabbed Niall, and Liam grabbed Harry, separating them before anything else could happen. “That’s right. She could be dead and the last person to kiss her was me. How’s that make ya feel Harry?”

“Both of you need to shut the fuck up. This isn’t helping anything.” Liam let go of Harry and stepped between him and Niall.

“Seriously. All that should matter is (y/n).” Louis relaxed his grip on Niall and looked at Harry. “You two need to figure out your differences as well, this is getting old. Niall, (y/n) doesn’t love you the way you love her. It’s been obvious for years and we should’ve said something then. Harry you can’t blame Niall. You can only blame the other car for hitting her, if it even is her we don’t know.”

“Louis’ right.” Liam stepped back. “Niall you kissing (y/n) was just stupid, I mean what did you expect would happen. I think anyone of us would hit you after admitting that. Now you two work this out, Louis and I are going to call and order dinner since this seems like it could be a long night.”

Louis and Liam left the room, leaving Niall and Harry sitting on the couch glaring at each other. Neither wanted to speak first, but someone was going to have to. Niall touched his cheek where Harry had hit him and winced. “It was a good shot.” Niall commented.

“Thanks...been working on it for a while.”

“I can tell, really got me good. PR is gonna have a fit when it bruises.” Harry laughed and tried to be mad, but Niall sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I only did it to see if there was something there. She pushed me off immediately though, said she only ever loved you. I should’ve accepted it but I pushed her farther and she left upset. It’s my fault she is where she is now”

“No.” Harry shook his head. “It’s not your fault. It’s not mine.” He looked over at Niall. “This was wrong place, wrong time. The rest of the situation doesn't matter. So you kissed her, or got into an argument about me being a dick, you can’t control her, no one can.” Harry laughed lightly. “That’s something I’ve always loved about her. She never does what she’s told. She's too independent for that.” He stood up, pacing the room again, trying to distract himself from the situation.

“She's going to be okay.” Niall stood up and walked over, pulling Harry into a tight hug. Harry felt the tears falling down his cheek, he held tightly onto Niall and nodded.

“Now that’s better.” Louis nodded approvingly. He carried a couple beers out and offered them up. Niall took one, downing most of it in one sip but Harry pushed the bottle away. He wasn’t in the mood, not when he didn't know where (y/n) was or if she was okay....or alive.

“Have you checked your phone at all Harry?” Liam asked sitting down with a bag of chips.

Harry looked around and shook his head. “I thought the sound was on and haven't heard anything but I’m not sure...” He grabbed his phone from the floor and looked at it. There were a few twitter notifications but other than that nothing. He dropped it to the couch and stood up. “Should I call the hospital and ask?”

Louis shook his head, “you’re not family, they won’t give you any information even if she is there.”

“Maybe you could call her family?” Niall suggested.

“Who was her emergency contact?” Liam asked, taking another handful of chips from the bag Niall had stolen.

“I was...I’m not sure if she changed it or not...” Harry’s head dropped and he stared at the phone, willing it to give him some kind of answer.

“Check your home camera’s, maybe she made it home and her phone is dead or somethin.” Liam suggested.

Harry pulled up the livestream and shook his head. “She’s not home.” He sighed, “Maybe I should just drive by the scene and explain the situation. They might be able to give me some answ-” Harry’s phone ringing stopped him dead. He stared at the name and wave of relief washed through him when her name popped up. “(y/n), thank god, you had me worried sick.”

“Mr. Styles, this is Officer Watson..” Harry’s heart fell, the phone fell out of his hand and he sat there frozen, unable to answer. Something had happened to her.

Louis picked up the phone, “Hello? Ah, yes, Officer Watson, this is Louis Tomlinson how do you do?” He looked at Harry and then at the others and then at his feet. “Yes, I’ve got Harry here with me...yeah...yeah I do believe that’s correct that he was her emergency contact....” Harry looked up with tears in his eyes and Louis bit his lip. “Is she- is she okay?”

“Put him on speaker mate.” Liam whispered.

Louis put it on speaker and continued on, “Yeah...yeah we saw there was an accident...is she okay though?”

Everyone held there breath, Harry looked like he was about to pass out, Niall looked sick, and Liam just looked nervous. “Well...the accident was pretty bad, and unfortunately-” Harry broke into a sob, interrupting the answer and Louis shook his head.

“Sorry about that, do continue.”

“Yes, well, unfortunately (y/n) was injured in the accident. She was taken to the hospital unconscious. I don’t have any more information to share with you, but did want to let you know she will be there and that they are accepting Harry Styles, as her medical contact to show up eventually. Sorry to have to inform you of this...if you have any questions contact our department, otherwise, we hope everything works out.”

“Yes...yeah, thank you mate, Harry will be on his way. We will contact you with more questions in the future. Alright bye.” Louis hung up and handed Harry’s phone to him. Harry’s eyes were rimmed with red already, his breathing fast and unnatural. “Harry...” Louis tried shaking him, looking at the other guys for help. “Harry you need to go to the hospital..”

“What if she’s dead?”

“He said she was alive when she got there, so come on.” Louis grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him up. “If she wakes up alone, she’s going to be scared to death, do you really want that? Do you want her waking up alone?”

Harry shook his head and stood up. “Will...will you guys come as well?” They nodded and Louis grabbed his keys, ushering everyone in the car.

The drive to the hospital was silent, no one in the mood to talk and the only sound was coming from Harry who holding back sobs. Louis pulled up to the ER and let Harry out so that he could run inside while they parked the car.

Harry walked up to the desk, wiping his tears and holding his breath, unsure of what he was about to find.”Hi, uhm I’m Harry Styles...my girlfriend (y/n) was brought in here from an accident....the...the officer said that I would be able to come in and and see her....”

The nurse looked up at him with her mouth open, clearly not expecting Harry Styles to walk in. Harry nervously tapped the counter, waiting for her to answer. He wiped a tear that was falling and stared at the girl again. Louis, Liam, and Niall came running up behind him, looking at the girl as well. “Did ya find anythin out?” Niall asked.

“Not yet...” Harry mumbled. “Excuse me...I’m looking for (y/n)...she was brought in by ambulance or or by careful flight im not exactly sure...”

The nurse stared again, looking from one boy to the other, mouth open in shock. Louis was getting impatient, tapping his foot. “Okay. If you won't give us answers we will find someone else.”

“No..No sorry. Uh, yes. (y/n)....(y/n)...ah she came in an hour or so ago with the other victims of the accident. Uh she is still unconscious...” she looked at the boys again. “I have Harry listed as the emergency contact which means he is able to go into the room but until she's transferred out of the ICU, he’s the only visitor allowed. Her room number is 12A. It’s on the left down this hallway.” she pointed to the right and smiled.

“We will wait out in the car for you Harry. Let us know what happens okay?” Liam clapped Harry on the back and pulled him into a hug. The other guys nodded and followed Liam out while Harry moved to the right side of the hallway.

“12A....12A....” he finally came to the room. The door was closed and lights dimmed. He had no idea what he was walking into but he knew he needed to see her. He pushed open the door, his breath catching as his eyes caught sight of her. She was unconscious...just as the nurse had said, her small frame in the big bed. Her face had a nasty bruise and some cuts, but other than that he couldn’t tell the damage. He sat in the chair next to the bed and gripped her hand, softly rubbing his fingers over the cold skin. She was ice cold. He placed a kiss on her palm and then touched his head to the back of her hand, whispering, “(y/n)....(y/n) if you- if you can hear me....I-I just wanted to let you know I’m here....and I’m not going anywhere.”

---

So I know this seems a little dramatic....BUT I wanted it to be something big that brought everyone back together....ALSO since I’m already on part 7....I figured I would extend the story to make it an even 10 parts...Now the 10th part is actually just going to be the story and all the parts added together in one extra large story so stayed tuned!

Will (y/n) wake up? Will she be okay? Will she remember Harry and the boys? Will they make it through the next hurdle?

xoxo

#one direction #one direction fanfiction #directioners #one direction imagines #Harry Styles #harrystyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #liam payne #liam payne fanfiction #louis tomlinson fanfiction #louis tomlinson #niall horan fanfiction #niall james horan #Niall Horan #the tape

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

Note

“I was human once. Where were you then?” I pretty thoroughly abandoned Teen Wolf after season 4, and even before then, I didn’t engage with the fandom much, but the voice that you give Scott is enough to keep me with one toe dipped in the pond. He’s funny and clever and kind. Even years since I’ve read anything else in TW, WTWTA continues to be a favourite. Do you feel like talking about where you were planning to go with it? I’ve seen you talk about Lightning Crashes plenty, but not WTWTA.

Thank you so much for this ask! Not gonna lie, Lightning Crashes consumes most of my remaining Teen Wolf attention just because its so freaking big and I've got so much written for it over the years that like, I will riot against myself if I don't finish it because like ugh I didn't write all that just to have it sit unread in my own damn files forever, y'know? So like, while I would love to return to Where Wild Things Are someday I'm not trying to make any claims about that one until LC is off my back. Tbh, I'm trying not to make any claims about fanfic or deadlines until I'm fully recovered from my surgery and whatnot because like......my day to day life is just not reliable and I hate not being able to keep my word on stuff.

BUT. That all said, I do still have a lot of fondness for WWTA and plenty of thoughts about it and willingness to talk about where it was headed for anyone who prefers to just hear about that on the assumption it won't ever really get returned to, cuz like, you are Valid.

And I actually have a lot of fondness for that part you quoted in particular, like, I've heard a lot of good things from people about that whole interaction being a standout for them, and its a personal fave because it pretty succintly got to the heart of some of my biggest issues with Teen Wolf's portrayal of hunters and specifically their ideology and self-justifications.

Anyway, some basics about where that fic was going below the cut, and I'm happy to go into more detail or provide snippets or excerpts from future parts as well.

So the very next chapter after what was posted is actually another Scott POV, and it has Peter showing up to his house at night while his mom's at work, Cora with her uncle as well, and 'summoning' Scott to be by his side as well while Peter goes to meet with another Alpha in a rival pack's territory. (Said Alpha being Ennis, in this case).

This chapter's actually a pretty interesting one IMO because I used it to play around with a personal headcanon I have for chemo-signals. There's actually been a fair amount of theorizing in the scientific (and pseudo scientific, lol) communities about what it might be like if humans could pick up on and interpret chemo-signals, because the science suggests that actually we DO.....just at such a tiny magnification so as to make it impossible to get any like, usable data from what little our noses do pick up.

But a popular theory is that picking up on chemo-signals would produce a physiological like, 'mirroring' of what's being picked up on, like....okay, so there's this thing in a lot of evolutionary traits that are linked to survival mechanisms. Where like, the body in the act of receiving various signals from another being about something being dangerous or threatening or to be avoided, it'll essentially mimic the very signs of distress or warning in the person or creature its picking up those signals from. Its kinda part of an automatic feedback loop, like going through a version of the same reaction a person is seeing in others is part of the body and brain's interpretative process, taking in certain stimuli and then processing it in ways that end up with the brain consciously cluing in that what its seeing is that it should be wary of danger.

I'm explaining it badly, but the basic idea is like.....you know that almost instinctive flinch of horror or fear you get almost in like....sympathy, when you see someone else in obvious distress or terror....even before or without seeing or experiencing whatever it is that's making them so distressed/afraid yourself? That's an example of what I'm talking about here. One creature or person transmits various signals - be they visual by way of stance or expression, or scent, or auditory like screams - and surrounding 'pack creatures' or basically any nearby beings likely to be part of that initial being's pack or herd or community.....they pick up these signals and the message of warning or whatever being conveyed via those signals....and in the process of translating that into some kind of actionable instinct, they ALREADY replicate and thus partially pass on those very same signals themselves.

So the thing about scents that we give off even as humans, is that there's actually a LOT of data and signals encoded into these scents or the various things our bodies produce in association with these scents, like sweat. Even though we can't discern these scents to any degree that allows us to meaningfully interpret the data encoded in them, because we didn't ever end up evolving down the evolutionary path that might have resulted in us being able to smell to that degree....like, the information is still THERE, packed into those scents and odor-producing body by-products.

And that has a lot to do with why we react the way we often do to smelling someone's sweat even to the degree that we DO pick it up.....because think of what bodily reactions tend to produce sweat. Its not just physical exertions, its also in a response to nervousness or discomfort or disgust or outright danger, etc.....and our instinctive responses to scenting the sweat someone produces is often to like....mirror those very same emotions. Just to a much more minor degree than if we were able to smell to the same degree that like, we can see.....and thus pick apart single scents and interpret the various distinct elements and emotions packed INTO those, much like how our eyes are evolved to pick apart visuals and interpret specific details about shapes we see in front of us and give a lot more nuance and specificity to what our eyes are picking up on.

So the theory is that if we WERE able to smell to this keen degree....we would be able to tell a LOT about people's emotional state just from the physiological byproducts they produce in various emotional states.....BUT there'd be a trade-off. We would also be prone to the same tendency to unconsciously mimic the signals we were picking up on.....so our own scent glands, our own expressions, would be likely to 'pass on' the indications of fear or arousal or anxiety that we're smelling.

What intrigued me about this idea, in terms of werewolves who are stated to be able to pick up and interpret chemo-signals......is that it carries with it the implication that actually, most werewolves - at least those in packs - would have EXCELLENT self-control, in contrast to what most hunters believe about werewolves and their lack thereof.

Because think about it......if werewolves are constantly being bombarded with the chemo-signals of those around them, and interpreting these smells and the signals contained within them with the same matter of fact ease most of us translate the visual signals our eyes convey to us......in actuality, werewolves would need to have exceptional control over their own reactions to external stimuli.......or else they'd constantly stand out by having facial expressions and stance cues that seem to change radically with seemingly very little reason for them to do so as far as normal humans around them can tell. And at the same time, the facial reactions they might instinctively flash to in response to picking up say, stark terror from someone who was trying their best to hide that VISUALLY due to the presence of someone they were afraid of like an abuser....the fact that werewolves seemed to often be reacting to things they were picking up on in ways that seemed completely contrary to what visual or auditory cues were evident to everyone else....this would also make them stand out even in a crowd.

So to my mind, the extent to which werewolves were shown deciphering information via chemo-signals on the show suggests that actually, werewolf packs would place a huge focus on teaching their children and their new bitten members both the importance of having firm self-control over their own reactions and emotional state - in order to counter their own instinctive tendencies upon smelling things like strong fear or arousal or anxiety in others - as well as the HOW of doing just that.

Which in turn would lead to the idea that its the LACK of a pack - and the grounding knowledge and presence of other experienced werewolves - which most often results in the existence of the 'out of control' omega werewolves that hunters use to justify the necessity of their existence.

Think how bewildering it would be to constantly be bombarded with signals and cues that suggest that the people around you are at any given moment in heightened states of panic and distress and discomfort. How much that would shred your own self-control if you weren't extremely practiced - and aided - in keeping a clear awareness of your OWN emotional state and feelings at all times, so you don't get swept away by the tide of emotional information you're picking up on all sides. I imagine it wouldn't be that much different walking down the hall of a school picking up the scent chemo-signals of a hundred teenagers in the throes of puberty, hormonal changes, and constant stress and intense feelings.....than say, if you or I were to walk down that same hall and instead of just seeing and hearing a hundred teenagers laughing and talking and going about their day, we saw and heard every one of those teenagers acting out visual and auditory cues of extreme intensity on all sides, from some of them screaming for dozens of different reasons to others being clear images of someone in pain or outright terror, etc.

Its a lot. Its easy to imagine that omega werewolves would not actually be any less 'capable' than any other werewolf, they're not wild or feral because they're lesser or whatever.....its simply for whatever reason, they never were taught the lesson of just how important it is to learn how to not just interpret scent cues, but block them out when necessary or at the very least maintain a conscious awareness of how to keep your own sense of self prioritized in your brain over just....instinctively reacting to everything being flung at you information wise.

Anyway. So a big component of what's to come there is how this might impact the world of Teen Wolf if explored in depth.....

Because on the one hand, this information would be the EXACT thing needed to really put things into clarity re: hunters and werewolves. The reality that actually, most werewolves are exceptional at self-control....that when they're a danger to others, its usually because they're that way with INTENT like Deucalion or Ennis. That most werewolves aren't the inches-from-being-mindless timebombs that hunters stress are the real reason for why they exist. The omegas are actually the odd ones out, and their lack of self-control is something that can actually be mitigated by integration into existing packs or just more avenues for educating themselves on what they are now and what differences that makes in their lives and just their very approaches to life.

But on the other hand, this information is exactly what werewolves like Scott CAN'T inform hunters of en masse.....because of the existence of hunters like Gerard and Kate who actually don't CARE about the code and the idea of just existing to protect humanity from the out of control dangerous 'monsters'....but rather just want to kill werewolves for other reasons. Because hunters who were fully in the know as to how much control the average werewolf has over their emotional state....as well as WHY its so important for them to learn and practice such exceptional self-control......because of how VULNERABLE to reacting to the emotional states of others werewolves are......they would no doubt be able to weaponize this against werewolves. After all, even exceptional self control is bound to waver if say, in the presence of large numbers of humans who are being deliberately influenced to give off certain scent cues in mass quantities......just so hunters can pick out at a distance who seems to be reacting to things none of the humans present seem to be aware of, etc.

So things like this are meant to become central to Scott and Allison's burgeoning relationship and the everpresent question they each have for how much they can really trust the other - and trust the other WITH - no matter how much they want to. Even as Scott starts to fall for Allison and believe the best of her, he's very aware of her still existant ties to her family, her own 'pack' - and despite being in possession of so much knowledge about werewolves that could most likely open Allison's eyes even further to how inaccurate most of the information she and others like her father are working off of is......Scott's equally keenly aware that giving her that information COULD still backfire and put his own pack in danger if it for whatever reason doesn't end up being enough to fully bring her over to his side.

Basically the big theme of the story has always been about who can you trust, even when you really WANT to trust them, because even people with similar moralities can have conflicting priorities and its not always enough to just be on the same page in one of those respects.

Anyway, the next chapter is big on introducing the importance of chemo-signals as Peter drives to his meeting with Ennis and tells Cora and Scott to settle between themselves who will accompany him inside (a clear position of prominence relevant to the ongoing power struggle between Cora and Scott for influence among their packmates). And most of that happens by way of the two of them 'scent-talking' to each other in the backseat. Because a side-effect of the idea that smelling chemo-signals prompts certain facial cues in response, as well as exceptional control over their own emotions and thus accompanying physiological cues, means that its possible for werewolves to have very involved silent discussions just by deliberately invoking various scents for the other, etc.

Cora of course wins that mini-battle between them, by way of the leverage she has over Scott now that she knows he's able to lie to Peter without betraying it with his scent or his heartbeat. Peter would never risk having someone capable of lying to him with no sign, so that's as good of a death sentence if he finds out. But at the same time, its something Cora knows she can't milk for too long, because the longer SHE has the information that Scott is capable of that, the less effective it becomes as leverage.....since hiding that from Peter could massively backfire and put her at risk too, meaning there's only so long she can use it as leverage against Scott before it becomes a case of mutually assured destruction and he says 'go ahead, tell Peter, and once he finds out how long you've kept that from him see what position that leaves you in.'

So Cora knows this information is best used sooner rather than later, so she leverages it off the bat, to get Scott to cave on this one and so she's the one to accompany Peter to his top secret meeting with Ennis and learn whatever they're talking about and what the basis of this alliance they seem to have formed is. Also, Peter comes out of the meeting carrying a mysterious box he got from Ennis, that seems to have been his goal all along, and has Cora troubled, but unwilling to divulge any information about what it might be.

Scott however gets something out of the meeting too, because even while left outside, he discovers some key information.....Ennis' pack includes Jiang and Tierney, two members of Brett's old pack that he thought were dead. Ennis had 'taken them in' though they really didn't have a ton of choice in the matter and were less than thrilled about it....which gives Scott the start of an actual plan. Which thickens once he learns Brett's sister Lorilee is alive as well, and a member of Kali's pack, along with refugees from another wiped out pack, the Primals.

Essentially, where this is all building towards is over time, Scott starts reaching out to the exploited and miserable teens stuck at the bottom of abusive packs they never asked to be a part of but are afraid to leave....and begins building an alliance of teens across multiple local packs. None of them are strong enough to overthrow their own Alphas on their own, but together, they could be strong enough to overthrow a single Alpha, and then consolidate as a pack of their own behind a single teen Alpha.

Of course, problem is Cora figures this out eventually as well, and begins building her own rival alliance among teens from Kali's pack and others, and it essentially becomes a race to get an alliance strong enough to topple Peter built first, before the other can make their move.

On Allison's side of things, she begins mentoring the younger teens that Scott picked out as being eyed by his Alpha as potential recruits. This involves teaching them archery at her house one weekend, only to then discover from Gerard's conversation with her parents that hunters recovered the arrow Allison had shot through Isaac's shoulder way back in the first chapter. They found blood on it, and are planning to use it to see if the person that blood belongs to is in the system at all. Which Isaac is, due to being in the foster care system, even if only nominally.

Feeling complicit and not ready to trust the werewolves yet but not willing to feel personally responsible for the death of someone she goes to school with, Allison alerts Scott to the danger. Which in turn leads to the pack under Peter's orders, like, breaking into the facility where the arrow and blood are being analyzed and destroy the sample before it can trace back to Isaac and from there, the rest of them by association.

Problem is, its Matt's first official 'outing' on a werewolf mission and he decides to revel in his newfound power by killing a guard. Welcome to Team Blue Eyes, Mattie. That didn't take long. Not that anyone is surprised, but Scott is a bit screwed by it. Because now Allison is furious and retreating from their slowly building alliance/relationship because she feels guilty that her information led to someone getting killed by a werewolf and thinks she never should have shared her intel even though Scott tries to stress that he had no control over Matt and could do nothing to stop it.

So that kinda puts a roadblock in the Scallison that takes time to work past, though it will of course get worked past.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Peter's plans for turning more freshmen are delayed when Cora and Scott both feel pressed to alert him of a surprising development at Beacon Hills High before the other tells Peter first. Suddenly there are two new werewolves at school - albeit very nervous, scared and confused werewolves - and they aren't transfer students. Someone turned two of their classmates, Tracy and Josh, and that someone was NOT Peter. So now Peter is outraged because someone is turning people in his territory which is a clear challenge from another Alpha, and he wants to know who. Which leads to Erica and Boyd being assigned to tail the new wolves and see who they lead back to.....as well as both Scott and Cora, by now accelerating their efforts to build up support for their positions both inside and outside of the pack, like both of them now make plays to get Erica and Boyd from the No Man's Land they've been residing in, and get them to finally pick a side between the two rivals for Peter's Alpha crown. With the information they glean from following the two new surprise werewolves being vital to both Scott and Cora's plans.

The Alpha in question turns out to be Deucalion, who is back in the area after years away where he seemed uninterested in werewolf politics, but now seems to be intent on building up a new pack for himself across multiple Alphas' territories in earnest.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Scott has started to worry about where Theo's loyalties actually lie, as Boyd informs him that part of what's kept him from throwing in with Scott is Boyd keeps his nose to the ground to stay very informed on what's what and keep abreast of what everyone else is doing at all times - Boyd is very big on the idea that knowledge and thus information is power - so Boyd has been paying more attention to Theo than even Scott has lately, given how much Scott's got going on at the moment. And Theo's been making some moves of his own that have Boyd distrustful of just how much Scott ACTUALLY has his loyalty, and thus Boyd is wary of hitching his wagon to the prospective Alpha who is perhaps not as well or thoroughly supported as he thinks he is, or is counting on being.

So Theo being Theo will complicate matters considerably. Note that I don't go with unnecessarily evil Theo ever, as that's boring, but I always fuck with absolutely and necessarily self-interested and amoral Theo because that's anti-boring. So Theo's not out to screw Scott just to screw him (well not THAT way at least), but Theo is big on covering his bases and he's contemplating making his own bid for power because he's not sure he trusts that Scott can pull this off and Cora's not an option given that he HAS until now been Team Scott in all visible ways, so he's seeking....other options. Just so he can have the most possible options and vet them thoroughly before deciding on a course of action, naturally.

The big tipping point to all of this will come when someone betrays Scott to some hunters and leads to him being captured and identified as a werewolf by some hunters loosely affiliated with Allison's family.....and Allison makes her choice here for good and risks everything to rescue Scott which might involve someone dying. Not a main character. But uh, there definitely is some dying and it makes Allison and Scott both feel things like guilt, regret, self-recrimination and also "I did what I did and that's that about that" with only like 60% of that being bravado to cover up omg I have no idea what I'm even doing anymore.

In order to find somewhere for Scott to recuperate that is not her house, because lol duh, and is not Scott's house, because Peter lol duh, a desperate Allison ends up looping in Lydia, Danny, Jackson and Stiles, and enlisting their help in hiding Scott at Lydia's lakehouse until he recovers. This leads to them all finally being in the know and uncomfortably allying with Isaac and some other werewolf members of Team Scott, who are of course furious at the betrayal of any werewolf giving up one of their own to hunters, let alone Scott.....which leads to the twins making a surprise shift in allegiance, because they think Cora was behind the hunters finding out and that's too far for them. It was NOT in fact Cora, but it might have been someone ON Team Cora who thought they were doing what Cora would have wanted them to do. And by might have I mean definitely and also they were Not Correct in their assumptions about what Cora would want. She and Scott are rivals and she's an antagonist here but she's not evil or even as bloodthirsty as she pretends to be for appearances, but she like Theo is looking out for number one and what she believes is best for what remains of a Hale pack, any Hale pack.

Other stuff happens, Liam does get turned, Mason gets his druidic knowledge on because that's a Trope that no Kalen story will ever be without, and the ultimate showdown between teens and asshole adult werewolves will end with Scott True Alpha level-upping but Peter definitely will still die as will several other Alphas and Scott is not the only teen who ends up an Alpha at the end of things though each teen Alpha will for now go their own way with their own pack made up of kids from the two teen wolf alliances. There will be confrontations with the hunters before the end too, beyond just rescuing Scott from the NPC hunters who are destined for Demiseville, population them, but the hunters will not be 'totally defeated' in as much as that's even a possibility, and the story was always meant to end with the McCall pack and some human allies taking to the road to find somewhere else to establish a territory and build their strength (and graduate high school) before making a full stand against hunters.

Backstory is meant to be filled in all the way through, with a focus on Scott and Derek's not-at-all-like-canon relationship as for the first year or so after Scott was turned, Derek was still around and did his best to help guide and teach Scott while acting as a buffer against his uncle which Scott greatly appreciated and his thoughts of 'fuck you Derek' should be taken as unreliable narration and mostly just cynical humor cuz he misses him. With said backstory reveals culminating in the eventual shocker of how Derek died (surprise, it was Peter in the parlor with the backstabbing and also candlestick), Cora finding out, cue Cora Not Being Very Pleased With Uncle Peter At The Moment, Actually, and like....other shenanigans are had.

Also also there may be a road trip involved at the veeeeeery end, that involves the mysterious box Peter traded something to Ennis for, which may or may not be magic and resurrection-oriented, but also definitely is both those things and aimed at a grand finale of teen Derek rising from mystical waters being like "who the fuck are you" at Scott who smiles and says "we're brothers."

And that's what you missed on Glee.

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badwasabi · 4 years

Text

WRITING ADVICE: How not to write thoughts

Disclaimer: The following advice represents the opinions of One Nitpicky Guy. Readers should accept or reject it as they please.

Jen opened her door and stepped out into the night.

“Hello?” she called. “Anyone out here?”

The trees rustled, blocking the streetlight. She mused that she had told Chris to cut them back, but nooo, he just said he’d get to it. Someday.

She pulled her handgun from her coat pocket, flicked on the flashlight, and panned it around the yard. Nothing. She wondered what had made the noise.

With her left hand, she reached for the porch light, tightened the bulb.

Nope, she thought, still out. But she decided not to stick around and replace it, not at night.

Something rustled in the bushes to her left, and her gun snapped around.

“Come out with your hands up!” she yelled, her heart beating loud in her ears.

A grey cat - the neighbour’s cat, Jen recalled - sauntered out of the bushes, stared at her insolently. As cats do.

She lowered her gun, and went “Jeez, Malky! You scared me half to death!”

She could just barely make out the cat’s features, the eerie greenish glow in his eyes. He looked at her, then right past her. Which meant, she reasoned, as the hairs on the back of her neck went up, that there might be someone right behi-

She was surprised when the killer’s arm wrapped around her throat.

There are certain words that you see a lot in writing, which are almost never used in conversation. If you think there’s a prowler in your backyard, you don’t call 911 and say “Police? I think I see a figure hiding in my primroses!” You don’t look at someone’s “features” when they’re talking to you, you look at their face. I’ve never “regarded” anyone, and how many of us actually know what “flashing eyes” would look like?*

IMO, it’s fine to use words like this in, say, an article or opinion piece, which is deliberately artificial. If you’re writing a story that’s in omniscient third-person (EG Hitchiker’s, Discworld), sure, why not. But using these terms in a close third-person or first-person narrative can be somewhat jarring, even if the reader never consciously notices.

And some of the biggest offenders are the “thought” words.

In reality, people don’t really “muse”. We seldom “consider”. Or “make mental notes”. Not in our own heads. Have you ever been telling a story about something you did, and you went “and then I made a mental note?”

One common mistake is going “X thought of [subject]” without ever explaining, thus;

Dolores licked her lips as she thought of what she’d do to that sandwich.

as opposed to

Dolores licked her lips. First she’d pick up the sandwich, gently, gently. She’d nibble at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

That’s a stronger image, more evocative. If you have to use “X thought of [subject]”, try to use it like a sort of thesis statement.

Dolores licked her lips as she thought of what she’d do to that sandwich. First she’d pick it up, gently, gently. She’d nibble at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

Dolores licked her lips as she thought about what she’d do to that sandwich. She thought about how she’d pick it up, gently, gently. About nibbling at the end, just a bit, just to get a little taste. Then she’d open her mouth as wide as it could go and take that big chomp-

In general, try to avoid saying “X thought of [subject]” just by itself and letting it sit there. There needs to be some kind of payoff. Even if it doesn’t show up right away. Even something like another character breaking them out of their thoughts.

I see way too many people who just use “X thought of [subject]” to summarize a character’s thoughts, but don’t unpack.

But more importantly for these tips are what I like to call inline thoughts. It’s when you present the characters thoughts, in the text, without italics. While I like to use ‘inline’ thoughts for the POV character, I sometimes used italicized thoughts when I want to give emphasis.

Speaking of interruptions;

Jimmy frowned.

Well, someone with no taste might think “Dangerous” is the better album, but it’s clearly “Bad”.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash from the next room.

Never say that. Just show the interruption, and then what interrupted.

Jimmy frowned.

Well, someone with no taste might think “Dangerous” is the better album, but it’s clearly “Ba-”

There was a loud crash from the next room.

Also, some people use single quotes to indicate thoughts. As far as my highly-compensated** research team can tell, this is grammatically incorrect, and you shouldn’t do it ever.

You know what’s even worse? No, not 'irregardless’, though that counts. Using both italics and single quotes. Which gets especially confusing when it’s in the same paragraph as italicized dialogue.

“Look,” I said, “I’ll get you the money, so you don’t need to be all nice place you have here, shame if something happened to it.” ’Please don’t ask how, please don’t ask how, Please don’t-’

Please don’t write

X, I thought to myself.

Pop quiz; how many stories are there where the protagonist has access to telepathy? Mind-to-mind communication?

Not many.

Exactly. So who else would they be thinking to?

If your writing is focused on a POV character, you generally don’t have to use “X noticed/saw/perceived/reasoned/etc.” Just describe what they saw, just like you described the interruption instead of telling the audience there was an interruption.

Look at this “inline” bit;

Sanjay locked his computer, picked up his smartphone, and headed for the empty break roo-

Oh.

“Hi,” Ingrid said.

“Hey.”

Now, watch what happens when I tell, not show.

Sanjay locked his computer, picked up his smartphone, and headed for what he thought was an empty break room. Needless to say, he was surprised to find Ingrid already there.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey.”

Just kinda sucked the emotion right out of it.

But what if I want to convey a non-verbal thought? Like an impulse?

Well, Timmy, then you lie.

What?

Lie. Fake it.

Carlos had a sudden urge to tickle his cat.

Carlos looked at his cat. He could tickle her…

Carlos looked at his cat. Would she mind being tickled?

As a general rule, you should use thought verbs the way you’d use “said” verbs. For me, that means 'not at all, if possible’.

“So what’s the problem?” Jones asked.

“The anklet says she has a pretty set routine,” Brown said. “Home, work, grocery store. Sometimes she jogs around the block. But on one day, the day of the explosion, she stops at this donut shop. If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…”

Jones thought that was interesting. “Coincidence?”

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“

Interesting. "Coincidence?”

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“

Interesting. "Coincidence?”

If she didn’t have a sudden craving for some Timbits…“ Jones leaned forward. "Coincidence?”

Jones’ eyes narrowed. “Coincidence?”

Jones narrowed his eyes. “Coincidence?”

Remember when I said you should generally use thought verbs like said verbs? That doesn’t often apply when you’re using physical reactions instead of thought tags (which I personally prefer). People put more weight on actions than words, and from the outside we can only know most people’s thoughts by what they do and say. More specifically, try to put the physical reaction before the dialogue.

Sometimes you may want to use “X thought” to make the narration seem disconnected and distant from the POV characters. Let’s say some character has a concussion or just got some shocking news.

Jane blinked. “I’m sorry, what?” “There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.” This is impossible, Jane thought. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

Jane blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.”

Jane thought it was impossible. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

This works even in first person.

I blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“There was a complication,” the doctor said. “His heart stopped on the table.”

This is impossible, I thought. “No, he can’t…I just talked to him yesterday. How can he be de-dea-”

Any questions?

Good Hunting -Jon

PS: Oh, right, forgot;

Jen opened her door and stepped out into the night.

“Hello?” she called. “Anyone out here?”

The trees rustled, blocking the streetlight. She told Chris to cut them back, but nooo, he just said he’d get to it. Someday.

She pulled her handgun from her coat pocket, flicked on the flashlight, and panned it around the yard. Nothing. What had made the noise.

With her left hand, she reached for the porch light, tightened the bulb. Nope, still out. Best not to stick around and replace it, not at night.

Something rustled in the bushes to her left, and her gun snapped around.

“Come out with your hands up!” she yelled, her heart beating loud in her ears.

A grey cat - the neighbour’s cat- sauntered out of the bushes, stared at her insolently. As cats do.

She lowered her gun, and went “Jeez, Malky! You scared me half to death!”

She could just barely see the cat’s face, the eerie greenish glow in his eyes. He looked at her, then right past her. The hairs on the back of her neck went up. Was there someone right behi-

A strong arm wrapped around her throat.

* I do. But that’s another show. ** I throw a cheeseburger down their dungeon steps sometimes

#writers #writing #writing advice #nanowrimo #creepy #michael jackson

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davidmann95 · 3 years

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Comics this week (3/10/2021)?

cheerfullynihilistic said: Comics this week (03/10/21)??

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff said: This week’s comics?

Anonymous said: Comics?

Anonymous said: 3/10 NCBD?

Non-Stop Spider-Man #1: The lead story was fun, the backup was dopey, I’ll give it another issue or two to see where it goes.

The Immortal Hulk #44: While it was too late for this week I’ve taken Hulk off my pull list, so the store won’t order any copies specifically for me and therefore my future purchase of the book won’t support Joe Bennett’s presence, just the store. This issue is typical of some of the books’ weaker installments of the last year or so - feels like well-done regular superhero comics instead of Immortal Hulk - but those last couple pages bring it back around.

Daredevil #28: Holy cow, those King In Black issues actually mattered. God this book is still so fuckin’ good in so many ways, everything every dumbass street-level superhero ‘deconstruction’ wants to be when it grows up.

Children of the Atom #1: Sucks real bad! This weird combo of ‘hip new young Marvel heroes!’ trappings and soulless X-Men lifer comics execution that feels certain to appeal to neither group.

Eternals #3: Of the listed Deviants I imagine I’d relate most to Annoyed Veug.

Commanders in Crisis #6: While I remain without the ability to weigh in on this objectively, this is the issue that to date most feels like it lives up to the promises of the series premiere.

The Wrong Earth: Night & Day #3: Little disappointed personally with the reveal of what the third world is - I assumed it was going to be more of a straight take ‘modern’ version to the other two’s flavors of throwbacks - but this series still rules. And that ending.

Home Sick Pilots #4: Okay, I think I can follow what’s happening at this point, still enjoying it.

Proctor Valley Road #1: I review these books in the order I present them to my dad since he likes DC/Marvel/Other to each be lumped together, but make no mistake: this is the last of the three Morrison books to read this week, because this is what comes next for them. A return to their roots - 70s kids way into music and dealing with the weird, girls adventure stories of the kind they apparently grew up reading - this feels like a refinement of their mid/late-00s Vertigo work in the same way they’ve been iterating on their superhero material for decades. The horror is sold excellently, whether by their own efforts or thanks to cowriter Alex Child this is their most fluid, ‘real’-sounding dialogue perhaps ever, and Franquiz with Bonvillain are instantly among their all-time best collaborators, perfectly capturing the shifting tone and character acting necessary to best put Morrison’s big ideas over in a way a number of their collaborators haven’t lived up to over the years (and speaking of the visuals, Jim Campbell does the lord’s work with that lettering trick near the end). Ritesh Babu and Sean Dillon have a lot more to say about the book and how it already acts as a darker, more honest take on your Stranger Things and the like as a commentary on its times, but I’m already loving to see this particular return down to Earth for Morrison and company and I’m glad to hear this is selling really well compared to their previous indie work.

Dead Dog’s Bite #1: This actually came out last week, but Ritesh recommended it so I figured it might be worth a look. A so far intensely low-key missing persons mystery with a touch of surreality around its edges, this already looks to be the best “look! A nine-panel grid! Fancy!” comic since Mister Miracle, really lived-in and emotional for as little happens in this debut. Very curious where it’s going.

Rorschach #6: I continue to like it.

Batman: Urban Legends #1: Glory be, a good Jason Todd comic - at last, you noble stubborn weirdoes living off of like six nonconsecutive panels all these years, you may lay down your burden. Not all you’d necessarily hope from Zdarsky tackling Gotham after what he’s been doing with Daredevil but rock-solid work regardless; the Harley story is fine, Outsiders is a letdown after Thomas’s shockingly good showing for them in Future State but it’s still fine, and the Grifter stuff is fun.

The Joker #1: I thought the advertised ‘a Joker story from Gordon’s POV’ angle was an interesting one even if I was concerned this book would in practice be pure editorial mandate, but in reality? Tynion has managed to pull the wool over DC’s eyes and do a full-on Jim Gordon book (one predicated with him being off the force to make it reasonably comfortable read in 2021) with Joker as the barest of pretexts to get it out the door and selling for as long as he wants to continue it. He even said in interviews that when the book was first pitched to him that his response was that a Joker solo book was a dumb unworkable idea until he had an idea for a ‘different way to approach it’, he knows exactly what he’s doing and I salute him. And it’s a darn good Gordon book even if the Punchline backup is predictably tepid, I’m in the tank for Gotham’s perpetual whipping boy dealing with weird noir international crime with Joker sort of hanging around in the background menacingly to justify the nominal premise.

Anonymous said: Hey, so I figure one random anon won’t change your mind, but like you I was disappointed by New Frontier’s immortal Wonder Woman, but I still got the new issue of Wonder Woman cause Wonder Woman at Valhalla still sounds great and I actually liked it! I think I’m gonna get at least the next issue, so there’s at least one recommendation for it

Wonder Woman #770: This combined with the store still putting it in my pile prompted me to give it a try after all, and whether because something here clicks better or if they’re simply not trying so hard without the pressure of doing a ‘final’ story for Diana, Cloonan and Conrad do in fact do substantially better on the main book than they did with Immortal Wonder Woman. Some fun, some fights, some mythology and intrigue, gorgeous landscapes and generous servings of beefcake from Travis Moore - this isn’t going to be sweeping the Eisners, but this is as enjoyable as a Wonder Woman comic has been in a good long time. My only concern is that the joyousness on display here might dissipate somewhat once Diana fully returns to herself, but in the meantime this was a very pleasant surprise (especially with the the Young Diana backup by Bellaire, Ganucheau, Goode, and Carey).

Superman #29: PKJ’s Superman thus far has been a story of overcoming initial worries of mine - in this case, my concern that he’d have a bad Scott Snyder-ey case of “if you’ve read the interviews you’ve pretty much already heard the dialogue of the comic verbatim”. In practice here most of what he’s had to say about these issues are distilled down really succinctly and poignantly in the midst of a fun little upper-atmosphere adventure portending something grimmer, and while I know it didn’t click with everyone I thought Phil Hester’s work here was a perfect accompaniment. The Tales of Metropolis backup wasn’t nearly as enjoyable, but hints at some interesting worldbuilding I’m hopeful will pay off in the main run.

The Green Lantern Season Two #12: The final Grant Morrison DC comic. One of two anyway, but if the next story I discuss is their broader final (non-Klaus, hopefully) statement on the superhero subgenre and a bridge to what they’re doing next, this is the one that’s about being The Final Grant Morrison DC Comic. A mélange of pretty much all their other DC finales into a shamelessly self-reflective meditation on the limits of what they can accomplish in shared universe storytelling where Green Lantern saves the universe through collective action and then fucks off to do his own thing elsewhere while the kids take over the ongoings. Weird and kinda perfect, and if nothing else this series took Liam Sharp from “really? This dude is drawing the last ever Morrison DC ongoing?” to “HOLY FUCKING SHIT LIAM SHARP”.

(The panel folks blew up over I think can be read multiple ways, but not in a ‘it’s open to interpretation!’ way so much as the storytelling/framing being unclear. I personally read it as ‘this is what neighbor versus neighbor looks like now’ rather than ‘calling someone a TERF or a Nazi is as bad as anything the other side does’, because oldster and out of touch though they may be I can’t see Morrison seriously saying that, especially after coming out.)

Wonder Woman Earth One Volume 3: At long last, after a hideous misfire kicking the series off and a second installment best described as ‘well, at least it wasn’t the first one’, this while not without elements I want to see femme and nonbinary critics discuss critically lives up to what you want to see out of ‘Grant Morrison’s Wonder Woman’. Big utopian fiction breaking the typical boundaries of superhero stories with aplomb in implicit conversation with a ton of their previous work, a bridge from what they’ve done to what they’re doing next, it’s an imperfect (especially with Paquette’s art, which while gorgeous and majestic in the way this story demands really doesn’t living up to the ‘acting’ necessary here in a way thrown into sharp contrast by Franquiz in PVR) but shockingly passionate statement of intent - if the last two volumes felt like Morrison struggling to have something to say with Wonder Woman in the same way they did with Superman and Batman, this feels at the close like them at last finding in her a way to do everything left with the cape and tights crowd they wanted to but couldn’t manage anywhere else under the Big Two umbrella. Odd and lovely, a fine sendoff.

#Week's Comics #Opinion

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sebthesnipe · 4 years

Text

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain An Analysis? Chapter 3 Part 2

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 3: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

by @whatwashernameagain

Reminder: Spoilers under cut!

As Always if you have not done so please read @whatwashernameagain ‘s The Dreamer Chapter 3 before you continue. This analysis is pretty much a giant spoiler if you haven’t.

Also, you can find additional links to The Dreamer analysis on AO3 (and other works by me) here on my masterpost.

Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, republican brainwashing, manipulation, mentioned pedophilia, violence, threatened sexual abuse, injuries, being pressured into sex, nakedness

Gonna just jump back in…

“Being kind as usual, no one chastised Roman for not capturing the Utilitarianist while he was recovering” (Whatwashernameagain).

Though Eva has never specifically said that Roman’s team is out to get him the dramatic irony is certainly implied. She has a way with directing the storyline through these paces to inform the reader that there is nothing ‘kind’ about Roman’s team. Whatever reason they have for not commenting on Roman’s failure to capture the Utilitarianist it is unlikely that it is out of the goodness of their hearts.

“Virgil was anxiously pacing around the bed as he came to, guilty and confused about why he’d been unable to track his friend. The poor thing, he was way too paranoid. Roman did his best to calm him” (Whatwashernameagain).

We see a bit into Virgil’s personality here. It is actually quite interesting if we pay close attention. Here Virgil is showing his anxious side. His guilt and confusion are moving him from his flat characterization (a character that is used to reveal information to push the story along) to a more rounded character. His guilt and confusion provide more insight into his emotional state, making him more developed.

Something, I find just as interesting is that the word ‘paranoid’ is used to describe him. While we as readers know that this is very fitting for the Virgil that is the personification of Anxiety. However, as a handler it is a bit… extreme. Here is a man meant to guide Roman through danger after danger. A typical person would need someone calm and collected in those intense situations. However, Virgil is not a calm and collected individual. Then again, Roman is not a typical individual. Perhaps, this opposition between the two personalities is intentional. I wouldn’t put it past Eva to think quite thoroughly through choosing Virgil as Roman’s handler, just as he was very thorough at choosing Remy as Logan’s. Roman’s… impulsivity *cough*adorable stupidity*cough* is the perfect balance for Virgil’s extreme paranoia and vice versa. For someone wanting to run into every burning building, someone jumping at every shadow can help remind him of his own mortality.

Speaking of more rounded characters, our boi Roman is making some progress himself.

“Despite not being in trouble for getting captured, the rescue had gotten to the media and was fueling the theories about the Dreamer and the Utilitarianist - to a worrying degree. It bothered Roman, since it was clearly ludicrous that he would fall for someone so irritating and immoral, but at least now that Virgil kept him updated, he wasn’t so ashamed anymore” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t go into our poor poor Roman’s denial again, but I don’t think it needs to be pointed out here anyways. We all see it. Though, I suppose the constant reminder is some strong foreshadowing. Though we can see Roman’s conscious opinion of Logan. He continues to call him irritating and immoral and perhaps Roman truly believes he is, though more likely subconsciously Roman find him heroic and misguided. The good news is that despite the unwanted publicity Roman is far more secure that he was prior thanks to Virgil.

Teal Swan (An American Spiritual Teacher) once said “We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown.” In Roman’s case, he was presented with a collection of hardcore BDSM fan art of himself and The Utilitarianist. The pictures themselves did not scare him, pictures themselves are not scary. However, it is what he thought he knew of the people who created them that scared him. It wasn’t until Virgil educated him that this changed. Roman’s knowledge of this ‘unknown’ grew and what he thought he knew shifted. Suddenly, these images weren’t so scary anymore. (That and he thinks he’s straight which is amusing AF).

Lillian Russell also once said “We all have a fear of the unknown. What one does with that fear will make all the difference in the world.” Roman may have allowed his fear to overpower him for a moment but he chose to stand against it and thus overcame it (with Virgil’s help of course). I realize that this is a bit off topic, but it is something that I feel needs to be said, especially now. The world around us is falling apart are there is no one hero to save us. Some people believe that this is the natural world fighting back against us, others believe it is a religious occurrence. I can’t say one way or another, but I do know that the fear is the same no matter the reasons behind this virus that is taking so many lives.

I can’t say for other countries or even other states, but the reaction to this pandemic that I have seen is heartbreaking. My family and I don’t go out, not because of fear of contracting the virus, but because of people’s reaction to the fear they feel. Fear is a strong motivator that causes conflicts among thousands of people every day. It is a virus in and of itself, breeding and spreading wherever it goes. The world is terrified, and it is our job to react appropriately to these fears, as individuals. You can’t control your neighbor’s reaction to their fear, but you can control your own and sometimes that is enough. Sometimes that enough to calm those around you. Perhaps you can be the beacon of hope that they need to find their own stability. Perhaps you can be the difference in their world.

Okay… Rant over… Back to the wonderful writing!

“Yes, the implication of being in a homosexual relationship and performing sodomy with his nemesis, something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes, still made heat rise into his cheeks, but he couldn’t help softening towards the mostly harmless fanculture” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pay really close attention to the wording here because it is very important! Eva knows what she’s doing, the sly dog! Roman POV points out that the homosexual relationship that is painted between he and Logan is ‘something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes’. Hold up! Rewind! ‘Something he’d been taught’. No where in this section does Roman’s POV ever claim that Roman, himself, believes that it is wrong. He points out that he is taught that it is wrong, but once again we see the same impressionable boy I’ve mentioned throughout the previous chapters. A child’s thoughts is not their own, but their parents.

Since the last time I mentioned this, I have actually looked further into research behind this view (having children of my own, I find it even more compelling). A study from Cambridge University, published in 2013 points out that “Children are more likely to adopt their family's political views when politics is important to their parents, and the children of politically engaged parents tend to become politically engaged adults” (Dinas, Elias). Is this starting to sound familiar? Well, hold onto your trousers (if you’re wearing any) because it gets better. “When these transmission dynamics are considered together, an important hypothesis follows: the children who are most likely to initially acquire the political views of their parents are also most likely to later abandon them as a result of their own engagement with the political world” (Dinas, Elias). So, Roman is most likely getting his political views from his father through he’s more likely to lose those views as he gets older. Perhaps, we are seeing this now? He has never claimed to have the same beliefs, though he has pointed out that he has been thought them. So, the question is, when? When, if ever, will Roman discard these beliefs?

Well, other research shows that “Young people from politicised homes may be more likely to acquire an initial partisan orientation from their parents, but they are also more likely to abandon that preference as they enter adulthood and experience politics for themselves” (2013). So, most children who have adopted their parent’s belief like Roman has tend to shed those beliefs as they experience the real world and grow into adults. Here is where things change for RoRo. Firstly, he's never really experienced the world without his father or the team his father has provided to look after him. So, no real-world experience. Secondly, from what we have gathered Roman is still fairly young. Most likely, he’s in his mid-twenties, Logan being around thirty. So, Roman has also only been an adult for a few years now. That combined with the fact that he is just now breaking away from his father’s influence long enough to experience the world around him makes his realization that he does not have the same belief system that he once shared with his father inevitable. My only concern is that the possibility of Roman having an identity crisis due to his discovery of an isolated belief system. The poor boy is going to have a hard-enough time when he realizes he is gay… but to have his beliefs stripped away and rebuilt after defining himself by them so completely is going to be harder than anything he has ever faced.

I have barely managed to get through two paragraphs… Oof… We’re going to have to skim a bit if I’m going to get through this chapter in just four parts. We see Roman’s view points on LGBTQ+ community and his purity that we love so much! Then we see Karen’s (-.- You’re so F*ing static Karen!) view point of it. She suggests that they pray for them and their ‘wrong’ doings. Which would send me on a rant about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and the human constructions that they are… and morality… and we’re just going to skip all that ^.^.

I’m going to brush past a lot of the dialog here but there are somethings that I want to touch on. Firstly, Eva uses verbal irony so beautifully that it hurts. Karen mentions that the LGBTQ+ community’s allegiance shows ‘the damage [the community’s] lifestyle had done to [the community’s] morals’ and asks Roman if he wants to ‘help people see a more healthy way to live’ (Whatwashernameagain). What Karen is really implying is that all of these people are sinful and need to be punished for the atrocities of their life choices. Karen’s pleasant tone and careful wording helps conceal the real meaning of her words which makes the verbal irony here quite beautifully written. Though what do we expect from Eva?

Before Roman can give his full reply, she cuts him off like the bitch she is…

I might be projecting a bit… I apologize…

Though, I also want to point out that during the interaction between Karen and Roman she never refers to him as anything but ‘dear’. Now, this is probably a me thing, but I can’t help myself. So, if you’ve read all of my analysis, you’d know that I have a background in Law Enforcement. Why is this important? Well, one of the first lessons you learn as a woman in Law Enforcement is that you don’t ever, EVER, allow someone to get away with calling you anything but Officer, Ma’am, or by your last name. Now, it might not seem that important to most people, but how can you expect someone to respect you if they continuously call you ‘girl’, ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, or ‘dear’. These are pet names. There is no respect to be had when someone is calling you by a pet name… at least not in a professional sense (romantic relationships are a different story. My husband can call me baby anytime he wants, and I still know that he respects me). Granted, there are some people that do this unconsciously. I’ve seen it mostly in older men who call every woman younger than them ‘sugar’ or ‘darlin’.

Still, there is a problem presented here. I’ve mentioned a number of times throughout this analysis of our thoughts effect on the outside world (specifically water and thus ourselves). A person can mean no disrespect by calling someone in an authoritative position ‘dear’ and yet by doing so, they effect their own thoughts, even subconsciously, resulting in a disrespect they may not even be aware of.

Karen provides us with a prime example of this. She calls Roman ‘dear’ because she has no respect for him. In her eyes, Roman is nothing but a tool to be used for her own gain. He holds no respect from her. He is merely a child to be manipulated however she sees fits. Hence, while she is maneuvering the hero to where she wants him, she refers to him as ‘dear’.

The next issue is that Roman is putty in her hands. The next paragraph is a reminder of Roman’s gullible nature. We see him easing into Karen’s manipulations and blaming himself once more. We see the same self-deprecation that has become a Roman original. It reminds us that Roman’s insecurities are yet another tool that his team uses against him. I believe I have mention something similar to this before, but in the words of Napoleon Hill “The only limitation is that which one sets up in one’s own mine.” In other words, Roman is limiting himself with his self-insulting nature. Once he allows himself to let go of that he will be a force to reckon with, someone even Karen’s bitch-ass can’t handle.

However, we see another indication that Roman’s views no longer match up with his team’s. Though it is obvious once again that his tendencies to put himself down really hinder him from being the hero that he has always dreamed of being.

“The fact that he wasn’t all that bothered by the shipping was probably making it worse. He was forgetting that his personal opinion wasn’t what mattered here” (Whatwashernameagain).

We also see him try to reaffirm his thoughts of Logan. He has to remind himself that his current thoughts of Logan are not what they are supposed to be. Logan is the Utilitarianist and the Utilitarianist is still his archenemy. Roman, still in denial, is trying to recenter himself for the task at hand. Of course, this also brings up the sense of paranoia that Karen is helping sew inside him. This conflict of course is more than just what it seems.

Roman’s dilemma of right and wrong is also a battle of his sexuality. It is a battler of his views. It is a battle of who he is. Is Roman the man that found comfort in another man’s arms? Or is Roman the man who subjected himself to torture to be what he thought the world needed? Is he larger than life or at the end of a day is he as vulnerable to his emotions as the rest of us are?

We also see more of that dramatic irony as Karen plants the notion that the Utilitarianist did not help individuals. While, for the most part this is true, there is more to this. We know that as the Utilitarianist Logan pays no attention to the individual. In that aspect Karen is correct. However, Logan has shown on more than one occasion, his appreciation for Roman’s work and his appreciation for Roman himself. This would imply that Karen is correct; The Utilitarianist does not help individuals just as the Dreamer would never seek the help of a villain. However, Logan would help an individual, just as Roman would seek comfort from another. These men are more than their uniform despite what Karen would have them believe.

Eva moves into foreshadowing with a simple sentence, a perfectly places three word sentence that hits us all where it hurts:

“Roman’s heart sank” (Whatwashernameagain).

Whatever is about to come is gonna hurt…

Karen claims they have found a way to fix the entire situation caused by the rescue… Still calling my bae ‘dear’ -.- Most of us know where this is going and…

Susan…

By the way, I love these horribly generic cis white names that Eva keeps coming up with. It’s hilarious. As for Susan’s description…

“Flipping open the file, Roman found that the solution was called Susan. She was a white woman with blonde hair and cornflower-blue eyes. Upper middle class. Conservative” (Whatwashernameagain).

I have so many issues with this… First off, leave it to these assholes to chiose a nazi’s wet dream for our boi. (No offense Eva, I love you and I think it was a perfect choice <3) So, to start off, they chose a woman that conform’s to America’s unrealistic standards of beauty. I’m sure she where’s far too much make up and could have any man in the world. This, of course, is in no way a shot at woman that look like this. Every person is beautiful, and I will not body shame someone no matter how they look. However, it is obvious that Eva created Susan to conform to these standards and thus needs to be addressed. The fact that Susan is Middle class is also a deliberate choice in the sense that if they chose a woman that was any higher Roman would be seen as greedy and shallow and if he were to be seen with someone of the lower class, he would lose funding. As for Conservative… Well… I don’t think I need to say anything here.

I’m going to move on before I get too annoyed with this. As we move forward, Karen notes that Roman looks spooked. This is call indirect characterization, which is when another character tells us something about a character. In this case Eva is using Karen to reinforce that Roman is uncomfortable with the opposite sex or romantic relations in general. Though as a reader we already are aware of the ship this fic is based around, so we know that the later probably isn’t true. Karen also refers to Susan as ‘A little friend’ which is very demeaning and implies that Karen sees Susan the same way she sees Roman, as a tool. It is obvious that Karen believes Roman can be persuaded by sex though his uncomfortable nature certainly speaks otherwise.

This also highlights a bit of the Right wing’s thoughts on women in general and how they should be treated though I feel as if I should refrain from pushing my own opinions on their beliefs into this analysis. However, in extremists’ case (both men and women) have repeated claimed that women have a specific ‘role’ in society, and it is not equal to their male counter parts. Now, the fact that I disagree may label me as a feminist, but I prefer the label of equalist as you will note when we get into the heartier bits of this chapter.

I once again want to remind everyone of the warning attached to this chapter. They are there for a reason, please pay attention to them.

“Roman stared at her, trying to find words for the sudden fear he felt. Laughter about his shocked expression filled the room, then quieted and finally tapered off into awkward silence.

“I… I need to think about it.” Roman had finally stuttered. Karen’s smile had grown forced” (Whatwashernameagain).

Here we see Roman faced with fear that is not surprising in an individual that has not realized he is homosexual. In fact, it is a very real and horrible feeling. I mentioned in my last post the fact that mental anguish can feel worse than physical and here we see a man being mentally tortured.

In a previous chapter I also discussed Roman’s inability to watch porn. Imagine, if you will, a man who has not accepted himself for who he is and can not allow himself the thought of two men together. Therefore, gay porn does not exist to him. Instead the only porn he knows of is male+female. The thought of sex with a female makes him uncomfortable and/or squeamish. He does not need to realize that he is gay to know this and instead probably thinks there is something wrong with himself. So, perhaps it is not the Roman is different from every other (sexually driven (because I realize there are different sexualities that do not have the same urges)) American’s out there, he is not alone, it is just that he doesn’t understand his own preferences. Our poor baby has never been taught how to cope in a heterosexual driven world and thus buries his true self from everyone including himself. This would make the forced relationship between himself and Susan all the more painful, no doubt.

As if to prove my point, Eva describes the room’s laughter at Roman’s hesitance. No doubt they know he is gay even if he doesn’t and finds his torture amusing. Though, our poor naïve RoRo probably doesn’t see it that way.

““Think about it? But of course, dear. We just want you to have a coffee together, go on a walk. If she’s not the right one for you, we can surely find another lady friend for you. Is it the hair color? The figure? We are very flexible for your preferences. Within a reasonable limit, of course.” She soothed him, patting his hand again” (Whatwashernameagain).

Karen of course, senses these things and tries to reassure Roman. She reminds him that their relationship doesn’t have to be sexual, in her subtle way. She also adds that if he doesn’t like Susan, they can find someone else more suited to his needs. However, she pointedly adds that it has to be ‘another lady friend’, which of course would imply that she is aware the Roman might be gay as well, and that it is unacceptable.

We also see Karen discussing women as if they can be ordered off a menu. I’ll take a five four Hispanic woman, hold the curves! Bitch please! You’re an over glorified pimp at this point! No one should be characterized in this manner, men, women, or non-binary! It is an outrage and the fact that it is so upsetting while still so subtle is another nod to how amazingly skilled the author is. Eva astounds us once again by creating a realistic subtle lifelike villain. Brava, Brava!

Roman sees Karen’s intended words as well, which is a development for the naïve man. He sees exactly what his limitations are:

“A reasonable limit meaning white, Christian, conservative, born American, cis, heterosexual female, his mind supplied. Suddenly, he felt terrible. His stomach hurt” (Whatwashernameagain).

By choosing a woman of these standards, Roman would be checking off all the boxes for his far Right winged team. If he misses any of these boxes it could send the wrong message. If she’s anything but heterosexual, then he supports LGBTQ+ communities. If she’s of any other culture, then he supports the minorities. If she is not conservative, then neither is he.

This is a big moment for the hero. He is finally grasping the idea of just how trapped he is there. He may be one of the strongest people in the world but the chains around him are heavier than those of a man in prison.

Still, fear is a powerful motivator and when faced with too much our instincts kick in. Roman faces his fight or flight instincts and fighting is not an option. So, he gives in. He agrees to Susan because what else can he do?

Still, ignoring the comment about men being men, that Eva know doubt added to hammer that last nail in Karen’s well-deserved coffin, we see more of Roman’s inner turmoil with his sexuality. “He tried not to think about the disastrous attempts at dating women, of the many nights he’d prayed to god to make him stop having those terrible thoughts, about his fear of going to hell for his dreams. He’d thought he’d escaped the pressure of going out with women when he’d dedicated his life to fighting for justice.

He buried himself under his blanket and tried not to think of her. This nice, normal girl, and about how wrong he felt imagining touching her” (Whatwashernameagain).

This gives me pause. Up until now it has been Roman’s unaware of his sexuality and at first seems much of the same; and yet, we see him mention dreams. What sort of dreams could Roman be having? Wet dreams of a certain vigilante? Probably nothing so lude, but a girl could dream. Regardless, it is possible that Roman is aware that he is homosexual and is simple repressing the knowledge for his own safety. Because, in a world as hostile as the one he is experiencing… Coming out can be as dangerous as stepping into the middle of a gang war…

“Children with Politically Engaged Parents Are More Likely to Deviate from Their Parents' Political Views in Adulthood.” EUROPP, 17 May 2013, blogs.lse.ac.uk/europpblog/2013/05/17/children-with-politically-engaged-parents-are-more-likely-to-deviate-from-their-parents-political-views-in-adulthood/#Author.

Dinas, Elias. “Why Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree? How Early Political Socialization Prompts Parent-Child Dissimilarity.” British Journal of Political Science, vol. 44, no. 4, 2014, pp. 827–852., doi:10.1017/S0007123413000033.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

#The Dreamer #literary analysis #analysis #so long!#Spoot is a nerd

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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 4 years

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Spoilers.

Okay I can’t hold it in anymore, I need to yell about Star Trek.

SO.

In light of the revelations we got from Picard ep8 and ep9, I have come to the conclusion that the plot is a giant fucking mess. Lemme explain. (Buckle up, it’s long and VERY spoilery). First, a recap: 300 000 years ago, synthetic lifeforms from another galaxy dragged eight suns together (or maybe created them) and put a sign on the planet in the middle, saying “hey synth pals, when the organics decide to destroy you, give us a call, we’ll destroy them.” The Romulans stumbled upon it, understood only the “synth, organics, destroy” part and decided to hunt and kill robots before they evolved. So far, the robotic higher beings have only succeeded in making the organics hate the synths, so good job. Using the Romulan rescue, Oh makes synths illegal through the attack on Mars, causing the death of most of her people (and incidentally, of the entire Vulcan race in another timeline. Thanks, Oh!). I’ll give her points for dedication, at least this isn’t a “save my people and screw the rest of the Federation” scenario. She’s actually willing to sacrifice her planet to save the whole galaxy. (Doesn’t make it moral, but still, pretty selfless, in a dark a twisted way.) Again, this is the robotic higher beings’ fault.

Moving on, The surviving synths try to make first contact with Starfleet, resulting in the death of Jana, Beautiful Flower and Vandermeer, which has overall very little consequence on the bigger plot. AGAIN, this is indirectly the robotic higher beings’ fault. (Maybe losing her sister is what makes Sutra such a bitch? Don’t think so though, we’ll get to that.) Maddox, learning nothing from the Ibn Majid, decides to learn the truth about the ban and sends two synthetic girls that look exactly like Jana to investigate (my god is he stupid), while not actually telling them what it is they’re supposed to find (oh, Bruce. Oh my god). It leads to the Romulans realizing that there’s an entire planet of synths. Outstanding work, dumbass.

Picard does his thing and decides to save the synths and advocate for their lives, Sutra realizes what the Admonition actually meant, and decides that killing all the organics sounds like a great idea. She doesn’t hesitate to let Narek kill one of her sisters to unite her people, showing that she’s exactly the same kind of psycho bitch as Oh. The problem is: SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES. The robotic higher beings are fucking IDIOTS!! They’re supposed to have seen many civilisations rise and fall, so they should know what to do and what not to do, and their rational still is “organics will kill us anyway, so let’s kill them,” leading to the organics being like “oh shit, the synths want to kill us, let’s stop making them,” leading to Sutra being like “welp they’ve already started hating us, our robot overlords were right, let’s kill organics.” OH. MY. GOD!!!

I get that the lesson is that fear is the great enemy, and in this case it’s really well demonstrated (gotta give credit where it’s due), but still! It’s so frustrating!!

My biggest problem with that convoluted plot is that we (the viewers) are supposed to see the synths as the organics’ equals. Their plight is supposed to be equal to the Federation’s. Except NO. I’m sorry, NO.

(More on in-universe morality and out-of-universe viewer experience under the cut, because I took pity on your dashboards.)

I get wanting to survive from the Romulan attack, okay. (There is la Sirena for that, just as a reminder.) But Sutra saying that the Federation banning them was essentially genocide? NO. They are made. They aren’t born naturally. A government telling its people to stop making procreating isn’t the same thing as a government killing every kid younger that ten! Parents refusing to conceive isn’t the same as murdering their children (I won’t open the can of worms that is the abortion debate, the point stands).

We as an audience are still supposed to see the Zhat Vash as the bad guys, because Oh, Narissa and Narek are villains, and because they have caused untold suffering. (By the way, linking Cris’ personal tragedy to the synth crisis is a massive plot contrivance to make us hate the Zhat Vash more, which I found frustrating watching ep8. Losing people in a horrible way happens even without grand global conspiracies, and Cris had already been established as going out of his way to help people even when there was nothing in it for him. We didn’t need the connection to empathise with his pain, and he didn’t need the added incentive. Seriously, how small is that galaxy? Are everybody’s demons linked to Picard’s heroic quest? How convenient.)

But are the Zhat Vash really the bad guys? (Even Cris questions that despite arguably being the Sirena crewmember who as per ep8 had lost the most because of them, along with Elnor.) I’m sorry, if Sutra does try to call the robotic overlords, I say burn Cappelius to the ground. Lemme continue to explain. There are what, 50 synths? 50 robots. And the show tries to make me (again, the viewer) accept that risking the survival of the entire Federation (trillions of people) to save them is actually a question worth asking? From an in-universe moral standpoint, perhaps.

From an outsider’s perspective (the audience), not even close. Robots having souls and being equal to humans isn’t even a discussion we’re having in real life. I don’t believe androids will ever be self-aware, and capable of emotion and love. Sure, in the Star Trek universe they apparently are. So what? Suspension of disbelief only goes so far. The show can’t expect me to accept that many IFs. I get the very one-the-nose “fear of the Other,” “make love not war,” “different races have equal rights to life” analogy. The message is very much worthy, the show’s depiction of it really pisses me off. The show isn’t asking me to decide whether or not it would be moral to kill the last survivors of a human (or even alien) tribe to save the world, it’s asking “but what if we were basically God and we fucked up, how would we fix it? What if the stuff we made eventually had feelings? Then it’d be bad to destroy it, right?”

Aside from the sheer hubris of that premise, I don’t know that the robots have feelings. I know it looks like they do, and that they believe that they do, but again, how am I to know? From a biological viewpoint, they’re certainly not alive:

“Life” (biological def taken from the web) Definition. noun, plural: lives. noun, plural: lives. (1) A distinctive characteristic of a living organism from dead organism or non-living thing, as specifically distinguished by the capacity to grow, metabolize, respond (to stimuli), adapt, and reproduce.

Do the synths grow? Nah. Do they metabolize? Yes. Respond to stimuli? Yes but debatable as it’s programmed. Adapt? Yes. Reproduce? NOPE. 2.5/5 on the living scale lol. That’s not that great. (From an in-universe moral perspective, this time. I know, TNG did an ep on that, sorry.)

Still the show tries reaaaally hard to sell their sentience, and the one time that really didn’t sit well with me was that “robotic finger touching the human finger” image. WOW, last place where I expected to find religious imagery, a show that questions what it means to be human and what creating beings in our image would entail *sarcasm*.

Except they twist the imagery. In the Bible, human lives are sacred because they are in the image of the perfect God, and He values us (=> so human worth come directly from God attributing worth to us because we’re meant to reflect His goodness). Humans being imperfect due to their fall, creating something in their own image is called an idol - it’s a false god, it’s not sentient, it’s even more imperfect, and it’s wrong. And if humans don’t value it and and it doesn’t reflect who they are anymore, well, it would make the idol even more worthless, right? (clearer explanation because my arguing skills suck => drawing on the Bible’s imagery, either humans are not gods and the images they created are worthless, or the series means for them to have God’s place, in which case refusing to attribute worth to their images makes those worthless. That invalidates the question that I previously said the show was asking.) So all in all, reminding us of the Christian take on the issue right in the middle of the Admonition claiming that synths are perfect is thus completely counterproductive, both in universe and from a viewer’s pov.

But but but, I hear you protest, what about Data? He had worth!

This may be controversial, but Data mattered to us because of the character he was, not because he was supposed to be human. He was adorable and losing him meant losing an interesting and enjoyable element in the show, which would make us sad. I love him like I love Cris’ holos, the Voyager Doctor, Wall-E and Eve, R2-D2, Jarvis and Chappie. They’re (very) likeable fictional creatures that can be used as metaphors for real life issues, nothing more. In any show/movie I’d be really sad if one of them had to be sacrificed to save the world, but I’d accept it (looking at you, Infinity War Captain America). If the question arose in real life, would I question the morality of it? No.

So, are the new synths the same? I already tackled the metaphor thing, it’s not handled that well and Detroit Become Human did it first. (Again, it’s hard to portray the otherness of other real life-cultures that we may unjustly fear by using things whose living status is so easily questionable!!) Is killing off the synths wrong from an out-of-universe perspective because the audience loves them? Let’s see... Are the new synths adorable/likeable? Heck no, give me Emil and Enoch over them any day. Would we lose something in the show if they died? Nah. We didn’t even know they existed until one episode ago. Picard would get angsty and Agnes would get upset, but it’s nothing a few fluffy fics wouldn’t fix. Do we know the synths as characters? We know that Sutra is crazy, violent and bloodthirsty, Jana was probably nice (?), Dahj had a cute boyfriend (outstanding characterization) and Soji... Welp... *sigh* I guess Soji is okay, even though she’s the least relatable and interesting character of the whole Sirena crew? We know that their creators and biggest advocates, Soong Jr and Maddox, are(/were) creepy old dudes with warped ethics, half a brain between the two of them, really toxic interactions with Agnes, and enough hubris to bring the entire greek demigod population to shame. They would race Icarus to the sun, seriously. We know that Captain Vendermeer killed himself over two robots, permanently damaging one of the nicest and most beloved characters of the series. Yeah, real incentive for me wanting to see the Federation risk destruction for the androids, guys.

But seriously, the last time a psycho AI tried to destroy the galaxy and make it in its image (*cough* Control) the protagonists spent a season trying to destroy the thing, and they were right! Future-control was self-aware and demonstrated anger and fear! Make up your mind, CBS!!

And by the way? THE SYNTHS HAVE A MEANS OF ESCAPE!! No, I’m sorry, if they don’t decide to go aboard la Sirena and choose to endanger the Federation instead, then for all plot issues I’m siding with the Zhat Vash. Go on, destroy the synths. As part of the audience, I don’t care, and the show attempts at making me care by trying to make it a moral issue feel clumsy and forced.

Also. Q exists in the Star Trek universe! He’s a deus ex-machina machine!! (Pun intended.) It’s hard to take big issues like that seriously when he could just swoop in and teleport the synths out of the galaxy/destroy the Romulan armada/put the robotic overlords in their place. JL, please, give Q a call. Yeah, yeah, it’d take away from the moral stakes because you can’t solve your irl problem with a snap of your fingers and you have to make actual decisions - but as I already said, I feel like the moral stakes are dumb and contrived. Give me the deus ex-machina, please.

This has been a Star Trek rant. I know that I tackled two separate issues here: the in-universe morality of the synths’ death (I will admit that from the crew’s perspective it’s not right, because they can’t know if the synths are alive or not for sure) and the out-of-universe viewer experience. I apologize if it came across as really confused and complicated.

I still like the show and love the actual characters (meaning, la Sirena’s colorful crew), and the show writers are not incompetent, or stupid, or wrong for writing their show how they want. They are really skilled and talented and they have created mostly compelling characters - I’m just unhappy with the direction taken by the story.

#star trek picard #star trek: picard #jean-luc picard #sutra #noonien soong #bruce maddox #cappelius #et in arcadia ego #picard episode 8 #picard 1x09 #spoilers #picard spoilers #rant #meta #synthetic life #my meta #st talk #not sw

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rosecorcoranwrites · 5 years

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Editing Advice Part 1: Continuity

Although I said I wouldn't be giving writing advice on this blog, I never said anything about editing advice. Plenty of people give (unhelpful, short-sighted, or far too niche) writing advice, but few focus on the crucial final part of the writing process, and yet, editing is what gives a lot of writers the most trouble. I personally love editing far more than the initial writing stage and so am here to offer my advice in not one, not two, not even three, but four—yes four!—blog posts!

First, let's look at continuity, in three categories: Time, Place, and People. Technically, you ought to keep continuity in mind throughout the writing process, but it's still easy to forget one or two things. Thus, when you finally decide "I'm going to edit this WIP!", you need to double check that everything is consistent, not just from a plot standpoint, but from a spacial, chronological, and personal standpoint as well.

Time

This includes character ages (especially in flashbacks and exposition), the beginning and endings of school years, the seasons and their weather patterns, moon phases (especially when writing about werewolves), times of day, how long it takes for events to happen (a wound to heal, DNA to come back from the lab, traveling from point A to point B), historical matters (phraseology, having characters use things that hadn't been invented yet, people in the middle ages eating potatoes, etc.) and so on.

One time, I was reading a WIP where their main character's (or MC's) sister, who was twelve, was being discussed. The MC said that her sister had been dating someone at the same time the MC was first learning to use her magic powers. Fine, except that later it was stated that she first learned to use those powers five years ago. Which would make the sister seven at the time. Ain't no seven-year-old datin' nobody. The author of the WIP had just forgotten that all the characters ages would change, not just the main character's.

In my own writing, I had to be very careful in Outcast Shadows, because two groups of characters were in two locations doing two things: Group A was traveling across a continent, while Group B were hanging out in a single building in a single city. But they had to meet up at the end of the book, under specific circumstances, so I had to make sure that both storylines took the same amount of time. In the first draft, Group A took far longer than Group B, which was disastrous! I had to go back and, first, measure exactly how long it would take Group A to do all their traveling and find things for Group B to do that made sense for the story to fill up that specific amount of time.

As careful as I was in Outcast Shadows, though, I completely forgot that Misha left a certain location a day earlier than everyone else in Recast Light—and this was after four rewrites. I had to account for what he was doing for an entire day, which meant rewriting several scenes. It ended up working out in the end, but is a cautionary tale I won't soon forget.

Place

This includes anything spacial, such as the layouts of rooms, buildings, cities, and continents; the blocking of character movements; light sources; the configuration of the the solar system; and so on.

For example, if your character was flat on his back a few sentences ago, but now he's standing, were we ever told that he got up? Did your characters, while touring the lower rooms of a castle, ever climb something in order to get to that second story room where they end up (mine didn't, in the first draft of Miscast Spells!). If your scene takes place in a dark and dingy torch-lit tavern, how can your characters notice tiny details, or are you picturing the scene as brightly lit as it would be with electric lighting?

Obviously, some of this can be fudged a bit—I don't think anyone but me cares about how scenes are lit—but some of it can't. And readers will notice. There was the famous case of Larry Niven's Ringworld, in which a character is teleporting east in order to extend his birthday, but of course the earth rotates east, meaning he would actually be moving later into the day, or even into the next, rather than earlier. So many readers noticed that Niven actually corrected it in later editions. Then there is Stephanie Meyer's Breaking Dawn, in which the Cullens have a house on an island off the west coast of Rio de Janeiro which, you know, doesn't have a west coast. These authors had professional editors who didn't catch these mistakes, so you can't rely on other people to notice continuity errors for you. Do your own research and know the layout of your own setting, especially if it's the setting we all live in.

People

This category includes what your characters have, what they know, and who they are.

For what they have, consider clothing and accessories, weapons, and useful items. If they don't have an umbrella, but it's raining in your scene, do they just stand there in the rain? Do they like it? Aren't they cold? If your character has some huge rucksack full of gear, they should always have that rucksack full of gear unless we can assume they left it in a safe place; if they're traveling from one end of the continent to the other, mention how heavy that rucksack is from time to time, and consider where it is during a fight or action scene (Are they still carrying it? Do they drop it? Do they pick it back up when they flee?).

Another thing that characters can have is injuries, which, unless magically healed, have lasting effects. If your character got punched in the face yesterday, they should have a bruise show up in a day or two, and last for about a week (she writes, realizing that she has had a character bruise far too fast in her own published book!). If your character has lost a lot of blood, or broken a bone, or received a concussion, all of that needs to be taken into account in the coming chapters. Again, this can usually be solved by a quick mention that such and such still hurt, but injuries will also impact how much traveling and fighting your character can do, so keep that in mind, too.

Be mindful, also, of what people in your story know, including POV and non-POV characters. A pet peeve of mine is when authors in multi-viewpoint narratives slip up and have the viewpoint character be privy to what other characters are thinking when there is no reason for them to know that. Then there is the opposite problem, typically in first person present tense stories, where, in order to have exposition, the MC will randomly be thinking about information that everyone in the setting already knows. It would be like reading a novel set in our world and having the first person narrator think "243 years ago, America declared independence from Britain, which it had formerly been a colony of. This was followed by what is known as the Revolutionary War, where the Patriots, on the American side, fought the Red Coats, the British soldiers". No one thinks that way, because they personally already know it; who are they explaining it to, themselves? Find a more natural way for this information across to the audience. Maybe the character is arguing about it with an friend or is helping a younger sibling with their homework. For this sort of thing, dialogue is definitely your friend, but still, double check to make sure this seems natural.

Finally, think about who your characters are, as opposed to who you wanted them to be. Characters change and grow over the course of writing, and what you might have considered in-character when you were outlining the novel might be out-of-character now. Consider your character's emotional reactions, moral choices, word choice, and so on. Never let an intended message be a reason to railroad a character into some preconceived destiny. Take the time to look at your character, not as a writer, but as a reader.

This last bit of advice holds true for all parts of editing. Think about how you would view your story as a reader. While beta readers and editors are helpful, you can't put everything on them (especially considering that there are published stories with continuity errors). Think about what a reader might nitpick, and what they might not care about. I suggest caring about it anyway, because it's your story, and it should be the best you can make it. Polishing your story into its bright and shiny best self is what editing is all about, and we've only just begun!

#editing #editing advice #edting tips #writelr #writeblr #writing advice #writing tips #continuity errors #continuity editing #continuity #errors #editing process #writing process #writing #writing resource #editing resource #writing blog #editing for continuity #editing errors

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lilietsblog · 5 years

Link

anyway I’m just going to put this here.

Full text copy-pasted under the cut.

I've put 'tinfoil' in the title, because I find it highly implausible that I actually cracked Erratic's intent here, but... still: I can't believe it took me this long to put this together. We've had the pieces for a while now.

Bard is an utterly unscrutable entity, whose intentions, plans and opinions are as opaque as they are confusing. We do, however, know of two things that were explicitly the results of her plans, and intended ones at that:

- Second Liesse; - the formation of the League of Free Cities.

Second Liesse is an event that Bard engineered both the formation and the outcome of. She prevented the elves from killing Akua before she could implement it, and she fucked with Black's head in the Free Cities to ensure the exact thing happens as a result that, in fact, did.

(I believe there's more to her intent with Black than that, but more on that later)

The immediate direct result of Liesse happening, and ending the way it did, was... the crystallization of the idea of Liesse Accords: an utterly unprecedented pact between Good and Evil, allowing Evil's continued existence yet limiting the damage it can do to its surroundings, borne out of the unique circumstances post-Conquest and Catherine's unique position between Callow an Praes and between Good and Evil.

Except is it really? Unprecedented, that is?

Book 3 Epilogue

“Oh, that touch was probably just a drop of arsenic in the wine,” Aoede shrugged. “But I made your Name, sweetcakes. Back in the days before I knew better.”

“Prokopia Lakene was rightfully elected,” the Hierarch frowned.

“Right’s a pretty broad word, when it comes down to it,” the Bard said. “She was silvertongued like you wouldn’t believe, true, but that’s where I went wrong. The moment the tongue was gone, so was the Name.”

“The League survived her,” he said.

“The League’s skin deep,” the Bard said. “None of the forces behind moved any differently after it was formed.”

There has already been an attempt to bind Good, Evil and Neutral to work together. The League of Free Cities is a unique entity on Calernia, with polities of multiple alignments forming a single larger one ready to defend itself from outsiders and willing to all listen to one Named if such emerges.

And Bard's problem with it? It's too ineffectual for her tastes.

I believe Catherine's plan, and her currently being well on her way to achieving it, to be Bard's second attempt at doing the same thing. Oh, she'll butt heads with Catherine yet: not only does she have a knack for manipulating people into doing what she wants by positioning herself as an antagonist, but also her methods are... Catherine would much have preferred had Liesse not happened at all, and all that. That's going to be interesting to see.

I'm aware this theory has a lot of questionable points, and I'm going to address those one by one.

Q: Isn't Bard "the sound of lash in the dark"? Didn't Hierarch say that?

A: He did, and I'm utterly unsurprised at that. We know Bard has extremely mixed allegiances and extremely questionable methods. This is some of her chickens coming home to roost, and the universe finding a way to turn the whole free will thing against her as it has against every single other player at the table. It doesn't mean she doesn't have good intentions; Anaxares isn't exactly a paragon of clear thinking and infallible reason, god bless him and his sleeping hole.

Q: What makes you think Bard has the free will to do things like this? Isn't she a servant of Above and Below at the same time, and thus twice as bound as every other Named?

A: First of all, see: League of Free Cities. That's not my theory that she made that, that's canon text. Second, Above and Below are fairly hands off with their representatives, as we've seen. They apply tentative pushes - Above's moral guidelines, Below's propensity for strife - to prevent their Named from actually promoting the philosophy of the other side (though Catherine manages to anyway, god bless her), but don't interfere much beyond that. Choirs are distinct from Gods Above and fairly independent, or Neshamah wouldn't have said Bard's the closest to those, considering Heroes of Mercy are known to get literal constant whispers from Ophanim in their ears. Meanwhile Bard serves both Above and Below, and so doesn't even have those limitations. We've seen enough of her POV to know that while she chafes at her external restraints, all her will and saltiness are her own. Having to run errands for Above and Below doesn't preclude her ability to do shit on her own, she is a Named for a reason after all. They're known for pulling off the impossible.

Q: So what the fuck do you think is up with her and Black?

A: I believe a large part of Bard's current plan is to push Team Practical Evil away from the "Evil" part. She can't flip Cat, but she can with a bit of effort flip Black - he's too efficient a servant of Below to be allowed to continue to be such, and pulling him over to the side of Good will not only help right the balance - which has recently been skewed in Below's favor so badly heroes are going for "let it go all the way and wait for the inevitable backlash" as a strategy - but also help cement the alliance/cooperation, given that he and Cat are going to keep being the same side in this regardless of what their Names are.

This hypothesis explains a lot of Bard's seemingly random alignment/attitude flips by binding them together as parts of a fairly specific plan.

Villainous Interlude: Calamity III

“I’d say sorry, but you brought this down on yourself,” the Bard said. “I could probably destroy you in full, big guy, but that would take time. And effort. So I’m going to give you advice, instead.”

The Wandering Bard leapt down from the rooftop, half-falling. She came close, kneeling at his side.

“Go home,” she said. “Murder your little friend in the Tower and reign until someone puts a knife in your back. You’re not as good at this game as you thought you were.”

Hatred, Amadeus thought, was pointless. A bias that brought no benefit. And yet.

“But you won’t, will you?” the other Named sighed. “You don’t negotiate.”

She rose back to her feet, brushing away walnut shards.

“I doubt we’ll meet again,” she said. “And fucking Kairos slipped one by me, so I’ll have my hands full.”

The Wandering Bard looked down at him, shoving her hands in her pockets.

“This one feels like a sin, doesn’t it?” she mused. “Remember that, when the gears start turning.”

Giving "advice" to him to be more evil, that he's now even less likely to follow than before just because she said that, then planting the suggestion for him to be more aware of the concept of "sin" and allow it to influence more of his thinking?

Yeah. Yeah, that's planting the seeds not just for his reaction to Liesse, but also for further alignment drift down the line.

Book 4 Epilogue

“Catherine got herself killed again,” the Bard casually said. “And let me tell you, now that was a show. You don’t often see that calibre of foolishness slugging it out no holds barred.”

His fingers tightened. Breathe in, breathe out. Control. The moment he lost control, the creature would make use of him for whatever purpose she needed. It might be time to consider smashing his head into the ground until he fell unconscious.

“It’s fascinating, watching you take that paternal feeling by the throat and just…” Marguerite snapped her fingers, “There goes the neck. Back into the box it goes.”

This comment of Bard's is not exactly accurate. What part of "okay, I don't know for sure that she's telling the truth, nor do I think it necessarily means Catherine isn't okay even if she is, but I'm -this- close to just smashing my head against the rock until I fall unconscious again and miss my one chance to escape, just because of how much emotion hearing this is making me feel" is "taking paternal feeling by the throat and snapping the neck"?

But it's influence. It pushes Overton's window, subtly nudges Amadeus's own frame of reference - towards being more emotional, away from the cold rationality of gears.

And it's entirely in line with what she said last time they met, when you look at the direction it pushes him in and not what she literally said.

And, y'know...

“Claimant,” the Wandering Bard said. “You can have your second shot at it, you’re owed that. But if you really want it?”

She drank deep, then wiped her mouth.

“Well, there’s always a price isn’t there?” she shrugged. “So tell me, Amadeus of the Green Stretch…”

She smiled, crooked and wide under moonlight.

“What do you think is right?” she asked.

She leaned forward.

“How far are you willing to go, to see it done?”

I don't think the "it" that he is owed a second shot at and the "it" that she's hinting he might really want are the same "it", considering the "but" there.

And she's being vague about it for the exact reason she was giving bullshit advice the previous time: Amadeus is likely to do opposite things just to spite her, so let him figure out what he actually wants himself. That's more reliable.

Q: Why do you think Above and Below would allow this? Don't they want the game to continue as it is?

A: Actually, the main reason for us thinking that they wouldn't is Bard's speech to William about preferring Heiress's victory to Squire's any day. Considering how that one went... not exactly a reliable source of information. That entire premise might be wrong.

And whatever their private opinions on how the game should go, I think Above and Below would allow whatever the fuck. Below has spared Black's life as payment for his service, and he's literally devoted his life to making Praes less Evil. Above has Laurence de fucking Montfort and the precious Rafaella. They give general guidelines, have rules about how they themselves intervene, and beyond that allow mortals to do whatever they feel like doing. They're the ones settling the wager of Fate, after all.

Q: But what about the whole free will thing? Doesn't Bard being the ultimate mastermind behind Catherine's actions kind of undermine her as a protagonist?

A: Nah.

Bard's more strictly limited than any other Named. Unlike the rest, she can't make things happen just by wishing so, she's limited by others' agency. There's a reason it took so long between the formation of the League and now: Bard needed a possibility, first, Named who could be influenced to do what she wants. Black's plan to marry Praes and Callow gave her an opening she couldn't make herself, and Catherine was one failed Name transition away from coming up with the Accords - those things matter on their own, and they're not Bard's doing, they're what she needs. That's ultimately the essence of her limitation: she can only shove around things that were already plausibly likely to happen thanks to other players at the table. Catherine's far more potent than her, in terms of agency, and Bard's more a backdrop she acts in front of than anything.

Q: What about "eat the baby"? What the fuck does that even mean, anyway?

A: One of two things, I think.

Either Bard and Neshamah are close buddies who understand each other well and are genuinely straightforward with each other, in which case Bard is giving him advice that he can pretty much go all out here while still remaining a side dish, plot-wise, to the main course of the alliance being eventually gathered to push him back into Keter. He's going to gain more than he loses, and then go back in his bottle, which was inevitable anyway.

Or their friendliness is surface deep, and Bard's giving him "advice" to overextend himself and actually expose himself to being genuinely vanquished by plot backlash on a permanent basis. Which Neshamah would catch and absolutely not do, which Bard would know and have as the actual planned for outcome anyway. Making the whole exchange pointless, so y'know, I favor that first interpretation.

Either way, Bard's advice changes little about the fact that Neshamah coming out is the very reason the Accords have a chance of working. He's the leverage Cat can use to twist everyone else's arm into agreeing to them, and as it always is with Guide and characters in it getting lucky breaks, No Coincidences Were Involved (tm).

Q: What about William? Didn't he want him to beat Catherine?

A: First of all, plans can change. Catherine pre-First Liesse and Catherine pre-Second Liesse are two very different Catherines. Bard thinks on her feet, and the idea could have occured to her after seeing Catherine's "save the city from the devils, then get myself killed for the trouble, then say fuck you to that and get myself resurrected via a heroic story" stunt.

Second, she sentimentally hoped William could survive despite knowing for a fact he wouldn't, because Contrition sucks. That's not the same thing as counting on it as a plan :x

In conclusion, this is going to be fun.

P.S. Found another quote I'd been looking for.

“Seven battles I won on my feet, and lost the war sitting at a table.” – Periander Theodosian, Tyrant of Helike, after the founding of the League of Free Cities

(Book 4 Chapter 18 "Cradle")

P.P.S. I nearly missed this myself, but Bard's Free Cities comment that Amadeus should usurp Malicia and reign as a Dread Emperor himself, followed by a surge of hatred in him? Yeah, that pretty much seals the deal that he's not going to go for Dread Emperor. Even if it's the rational thing to do, Bard has ensured that every single scrap of irrationality he has in him is going to rebel against that, and also incidentally that those scraps are going to have a lot more influence on his actions than they otherwise might have. No Dread Emperor Amadeus in this timeline.

#a practical guide to evil #liliet reads pgte #amadeus of the green stretch #wandering bard

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sunagakubae · 5 years

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hey so a thought ive had for a while now is this: what if orochimaru wasnt absolutely blinded by sasuke's potential and chose gaara instead as his next vessel? would gaara have complied because at the point of the exams he hadn't settled his bloodlust thanks to naruto? could so much have been avoided or would there be more disaster?

((so i’ve had this ask just sitting in my inbox for a few days because this is the first time a topic like this has been brought to my attention. i took the time to think this through in order to give out a fully detailed response but then the days quickly passed and… i’m sorry anon i really hope you see this because it genuinely made me think. anyway just wanted to get that out of the way before anything else.))

this is actually an intriguing question, and it’s a topic i haven’t really thought of myself, seeing as the possibilities that could arise from this concept are so obscure. there’s no single, definitive answer i can give with 100% conviction, but i will try to stick with what we are given to explain what i believe would have most likely occurred.

going by the canon storyline, the reason orochimaru was so obsessed with sasuke being turned into his vessel was because he was shown exclusively interested in a body containing a dojutsu, specifically the sharingan. after having been effortlessly defeated by itachi, rather than going after sasuke as his next best choice as shown in canon, in this hypothetical scenario, he becomes disillusioned with the notion of pursuing an uchiha altogether and decides to search for other potential candidates instead. as to why he would set his eyes on gaara over any powerful wielding kekkei genkai users, the main reasons that quickly pop up in my head are:

a) gaara is a jinchuuriki and thus has an enormous chakra reserve which serves as an advantage to learn & use various high-level techniques on top of containing a tailed best at his disposal in life-threatening situations.

b) due to being a jinchuuriki, there would be no need for orochimaru to go out of his way to have gaara sever his bonds because gaara has isolated himself from the world and shut down any possibility to rekindle any personal attachments a long time ago. orochimaru would more likely focus on someone who’s already unstable with a fragile will over someone who could potentially let the seed of hatred consume them. since gaara was possibly the most troubled individual out of everyone during the chuunin exams, it would make little to no sense for orochimaru to go after anyone else, try to psychologically break them down, and convince them to join him when gaara is right there with all of the qualifications he desired had he not been so obsessed with the sharingan. so overall, choosing gaara as his vessel in lieu of sasuke isn’t actually too inconceivable, and it’s actually a reasonable choice to pick him over anyone else at that point except for maybe neji and sasuke himself.

gaara taking sasuke’s place is the part that gets tricky to tell what happens since it deviates so much from canon; because sasuke’s departure from konoha is so pivotal, bringing him back is essentially the crux of the series, which is what sets any future events in stone for the remainder plot. the story would inevitably be significantly different if by chance gaara teamed up with orochimaru and sasuke had stayed in konoha. it could still be plausible for sasuke to become a rogue ninja regardless of orochimaru’s presence, although the chances of that happening are substantially lower. but for the sake of this ask, since the possibility of that occurring is more or less negligible, i’ll assume in such specific circumstances sasuke stays in the leaf, albeit still remaining vengeful.

now this is where things start to become pure conjecture, because side characters in naruto only ever have meaningful interactions with a handful of other characters. in the case of orochimaru and gaara, they were never shown to directly communicate. but from what we do have from canon is that orochimaru viewed gaara during the preliminary matches, the sasuke vs gaara fight, and killed his father to impersonate him. i headcanon it’s during this point where his decision to make gaara into his vessel would be reinforced, especially after having seen what he is capable of prior to the joint sand-sound invasion.

up until now, i’ve only seen things from orochimaru’s POV and why i believe he’d have an incentive to go after gaara. with gaara though, things become a bit… difficult to tell. it’s just.. hard to imagine gaara willingly leaving everything behind to go with orochimaru, not because of any emotional ties or anything, but because of how he is as a person. the decisive factor which made sasuke ultimately decide to leave the village was because orochimaru sent the sound 4 to show him just how weak he currently was. he felt too powerless to kill his brother, so he went with orochimaru in hopes of gaining power in what appeared to be at the quickest rate possible. and gaara… doesn’t have that type of pressure placed on him. unlike sasuke, there’s no sense of urgency to his goals since all he ever wanted to do is kill anyone he deemed as strong to gain some sensation of being alive. gaara’s motivations are broad, and is more as a lifestyle to him while sasuke’s motives are narrow, and has his entire life revolves around accomplishing that one goal. the fact that no one up until the chuunin exams has been able to land a hit on him, much less pose as a threat (except for rock lee and sasuke, excluding his fight with naruto), he can basically do anything he wants in his village because everyone is so petrified of him. so for gaara to leave sunagakure where he is free to do as he desires to become a missing nin in order to gain more power seems… redundant. joining up with orochimaru simply doesn’t align with his interests.

that isn’t to say there wouldn’t be another way to have gaara leave his village. rather than outside factors causing him to go rogue, it’s internal issues within the village which would push gaara to abandon it. once he is alone, this is the point where orochimaru would appear in an attempt to persuade him to join forces by proposing a mutually beneficial compromise. since orochimaru would already know about gaara through the chuunin exams, he’d have an idea on how to use his trauma vulnerabilities to his advantage. in this type of situation, the prospect of teaming up with orochimaru would most likely happen, however his status as a secondary character would be what limits the overall influence his decisions could cause to the narrative. because gaara is not sasuke, the destruction and chaos his actions could bring would have a fairly moderate impact to the story, no matter how terrible they are. there would be more people killed off because of his insatiable bloodlust, but they’d probably be minor characters; ones whose deaths would cause minimum emotional and narrative damage, if any at all. he would serve as an antagonist for about a few arcs, but afterwards inevitably either be eliminated or redeemed to make room for the final villain(s). the akatsuki would still cause great damage, the war would still happen, yet gaara would be a non factor to these highly influential aspects. i do think there would be greater despair, and definitely a higher mortality rate, but the plot would not suffer huge drawbacks from gaara playing the villains role. his general effect would be limited and temporary, which is actually what would work best in naruto rather than extending already dragged out subplots, which only negatively affect the story.

it’s interesting to note that many aspects in naruto could be exchanged and how much it could change the overall storyline. because kishimoto didn’t spend proportionate amounts of his attention to all of his characters, it’s fairly easy to tweak some things on most of them to explore alternate routes they could have taken, and how different they could be. it could have been very possible for orochimaru to have taken interest in gaara instead and for sasuke to have remained in konoha had it not been for a few minor changes. but since we’re never going to know for sure then this is all i can say on the matter, so that my response can serve as some sort of reasonable “what if” possibility, hopefully.

#ughh for some reason this hellsite wouldnt let me add tags fjfdjfgjg #anyway idk if anyone can see this?? hopefully its visible i mean. i worked hard on this #anyway. this took me days anon this rly made me crack my head #i hope it makes sense cuz yeah...#this is all hypothetical i dont actually want the snake predator to go anywhere near my son ffugnvfjd #asks #anonymous #gaara #sasuke #orochimaru

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dauntless-dragayn · 6 years

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Life is Strange fanfiction: All Wounds

HEY ALL, somethin different for today. I will honestly say I don't read tons of fanfic, call me picky or just, see the truth as being i don't have much spare time to read, period so I've never reviewed one. BUT. I really want to call attention to one this time, and what better way to do that then by helping out the author with a review? I don't think people realize how much criticism is worth to writers, even taking the time to type out something small is great. (quick note: this review contains spoilers for Lis and BtS. spoilers for the fic itself will be left to the end) All Wounds by @destiny-smasher is a fic taking place in the Life is Strange universe, almost directly after the 'bae' ending. Throughout, it switches between Max and Chloe's PoVs, however Max is still the main protagonist here. But this is no fluffy feel-good fic (though there is some spots of fluff here and there) it's real and it's painful. It deals with the trauma and emotions that have built up in these women over that fateful week, even their teenage years - stuff that doesn't just magically disappear after the climax. That premise hooked me, because the kind of nitty gritty that often gets ignored in the fandom is exactly what tends to interest me. It actually (minor spoiler!) timeskips after a bit to when they're adults, and when things finally start crashing around their heads .. again. I will say outright, this isn't for the faint of hearted. It's lonnnng, at 3.5 k words, which rivals many novels!! And it deals with PTSD, mental illness, suicidal ideation, and even a certain amount of psychological horror. Themes present in both games definitely come up again. And no, Max and Chloe's relationship isn't without its bumps. Or rather catastrophic crashes. Don't worry, it'll hurt you but patch those wounds up, by the end. see what i did there Truthfully, I tried to read it in a RIDICULOUSLY short time frame for Reasons™ (unrelating to the piece) but just could not. I would continuously find myself compelled to slow down, sink into each sentence, into Max’s head or Chloe’s frustrations. I was living in their world more than mine for a few days. It was great - a piece of fresh writing hasn’t done that to me in a while. I highly recommend taking the time to appreciate this story; it’s ups and downs, romance and time fuckery. If you loved Life is Strange (duh) there’s little reason you wouldn’t love this, too. You can absolutely tell that this is a project woven together of heart and struggle. Art is never easy when you truly care about the outcome and the fact that this took years of the creator's time and attention stuns me. She did all that mind you, for FREE. Not for publishing, not for profit, not for fame. For a fandom she cares about. Serious writing for fandom is tough, because frankly it's not the easiest medium to sell (sell being used nonliterally here of course, and also, this applies outside of fandom too, just especially so in it) I have an INCREDIBLE amount of admiration for creators like her who dive into these characters they love - but did not create! developing them further, taking them in new directions or continuing them on paths they were already set on - and write novel length stories or comics for absolutely nothing. You have thoroughly earned my respect. That’s not to say it’s flawless! Nothing ever is, psh. I do have criticisms here and there, but with those I’ll be more specific, which means they’ll be put under the cut. This is mostly for Destiny-Smasher’s sake, since she is in the process of turning the fic into a visual novel! I’ve read the first few chapters of that too, it’s a cool adaption. So yeah, if ya haven’t read it, please stop here. (Also before you go, check out her girlfriend’s art, I’m in love with that too!!)

SPOILERS BEYOND

Some of these tend to be on the side of minor and nitpicky, I feel, but I'll still go into them. Not trying to be annoying !

Okay so OBVIOUSLY the repetitiveness of certain scenes or conversations was purposeful, and a big part of how you told this story. And that's GREAT I think you used that unusual element well, certainly paying attention to details. There were some times when it felt repetitive in the wrong places though I think, and I guess I mostly mean some conversations. Or sometimes rather than being repetitive they just felt unnecessary as a whole. If I'm remembering correctly sorry its been a little while by now the conversation between Chloe and Steph in the diner before Chloe realizes she can rewind time now felt like that - just unneeded, like if you had cut or shortened it nothing would be lost. I can't think of any more examples right now, but maybe just keep that in mind? In general there are definitely a few filler scenes but I hesitate to condemn that because like I said, this world really breaths and feels genuine, and I think those are part of why. The addition of quotes and especially linked songs was an awesome touch I thought, since ya don't normally get auditory nods like that in writing. There were a few times it broke my immersion but for the most part it was a very appealing layer to your storytelling, so I look forward to seeing that carried out with the adaption. One thing I didn't like much in general were Chloe's pirate dreams in the second half. I understand that there were some important nods and revelations about what was going on in her psyche, not to mention the role of dream weaving being hinted at, but for the most part they just left me pretty confused. As far as inconsistencies, I know you were worried about that, but I really think you're fine? Like other than the stuff involving Before the Storm and what that revealed/changed (which you can't be blamed for because this story was written over yEARS) there was nothing major that I noticed. And considering the utter insanity of the timelines n shit, I'm seriously in awe you kept it relatively smooth. I have a HUGLY less complicated story in the works (no time travel) and I still managed to fuck up the timeline. Moving on. :') I’m embarrassingly forgetful, and that’s all my initial notes on the subject had to say, so I may be missing some things? But yeah, I honestly don’t have much in the negative to say. So let’s talk about THE plot twist. Yes that one. I remember around, chapter 16.4, the idea piecing together in my mind .. the title of the chapter, her behavior, speaking patterns, the fact that yes, this wasn’t a deviation like any of the others, it was in fact the canon divergence of timeline.... hoLY CRAP ITS OTHER MAX SHES REAL AND - yeah I fangirled a bit. (I was freaking so badly about my theory that I was so sure had to be true - and I was right, heh - that I tried to explain it to my dad. Who, FYI, has minimal knowledge on Life is Strange’s plot, and no hope of understanding the convoluted details of the fic thus far. I finally gave up and went back to reading while squealing excitedly over it in my head. And then I shut up because things got dark) Just, gods, the details! That was the most satisfying fucking feeling, seeing all these seemingly little or random things come to be crucial. Things like Max clinging to her reality with the wedding bands on her finger, or like Other Max’s particular personality, from being aggressive and upfront more than Max has ever been, to her freaking sexual behavior. Her having red streaks in her hair to represent both sides to her, the cover of the fic and the visual novel not being a symbolic picture but an actual look at the End of Time and Other Max!! Her falling in love with Stella was definitely a curveball I did not expect, and admittedly I was pRETTY weirded out. Cuz like.. she's engaged to Chloe in the other timeline, and obviously I ship them over anyone else.. I'm not complaining! Just, a very fresh take on Stella and their relationship. Speaking of- it did seem a little strange to me that, after the awkward start to their dating and the mention of how it was going right after, that it never came up again. Obviously things got cut short, but, how was it really working? Did Stella turn out to actually be gay? I interpreted that she was doing it out of a sort of obligation and platonic love for Max, and that she was 1000% straight. Maybe you left that open on purpose? It seemed coded that way, though.. All in all I loved what you did with Other Max. She was an edge of a concept in Life is Strange, in that confrontation scene after the nightmare of episode five - which I loved for its implications - and you took that and RAN with it. So I go in thinking "okay. she's a more literal form of this mental battle Max faces, made so much worse by death shes surrounded by after the storm" And for a while that holds up.. Max finds herself moving on, as a teenager, with Chloe's pushing, and things get better for a while. Great!! Woohoo! Except .. the past will always find you .. especially when that past is yourself ... and not even time travel can keep it away forever. That's the shit you don't see delved into. This power is like, a drug. A limb she's gotten used to and relies on as much as any other. I've never believed she would just, drop it. Does it go away when the storm hits / chloe dies? Maybe, I always thought. But that's so convenient. And without an explanation for why it showed up, we have no basis for why it would go away. And why not use it, Max convinces herself. ‘I must still have the power for a reason.’ Maybe so, and you've certainly grown, Caulfield, but you are still avoiding consequences. You are still a god amongst mortals, but guess what? That immortal facade can only be contained by a human body for so long. Things start crumbling, and as a reader you see the inevitability of all, feel the hopelessness. She's keeping things from Chloe, BIG fucking things, and I want to reach over and grab her by the shoulder and shake her. "CHLOE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS MINDFUCKED" I literally couldn't breath for a minute when I realized the implications of the car crash scene, where Max says she's been regularly getting lost in time for months. But, no biggie. Quick weed, call, and you’re right back where you should be. Right? Just wipe the blood off your face, no one will notice. Damn. Anyway, enough about that. Remember earlier, when I said 'psychological horror'? Truthfully I don't know if that's the right word for it, or even if its a real thing. But whatever it is, I live for it. People's mind are their own worst enemies, and that bit is ultimately and personally relatable. Max is constantly arguing with herself. But this time, the nightmare - mine, and hers - is creeping into real life. The Other is ripping control from her shaky hands. Its twisting her into someone she never wanted to be - a literal worst version of herself, and, we find out - a real version, just from a different timeline. A broken one. A nonhuman one .. or that's what she says. But as we see this Other raise her voice, and read on in bafflement alongside Max, we get to see that her intentions, aren't necessarily evil. Has she done evil things? Yes. Did Max see her as evil? Yes, and even Chloe did for a while. But the big question I found myself asking, and Chloe eventually challenging is.. is the Other.. still Max? Is the worst reality, the worst view in the mirror, still us? All Wounds says yes. But not to give up hope, far from it - instead that we MUST confront these self made demons, we MUST accept these wounds for them to ever heal. While spurred by a morality grounding near-death experience, that last fight at the End of Time - while a supernatural slew of symbolism, time travel, and dreamscapes - also sung to me of reality. That's what the best fantastical fiction is. Amazing.

To top it all off, the ending chapter was perfect. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up a bit. It felt right, and more importantly, real. Not some overdone fictional fanservice crap. But still the happy ending these women MORE than earned. Through it all, the exploration of characters who didn't probably get what they deserved in LiS (I'm thinking about Victoria, but also Stella and even Joyce..) was really satisfying and ultimately shifted my perception of them.

Honestly, there are so many quotable moments throughout this thing. (I have a ton of screenshots of some on my phone, actually.) But I'll go with .. "You Power isn't what makes you special, Max. Stop worrying about fixing. Focus on being. Yes, even those parts. That's all in the past. All I care about now is the future. And I want to share that future with you."

-Chloe

What you called experimental bullshit, I applaud. So.. Thanks for writing All Wounds.

#Life is Strange #Max Caulfield #Chloe Price #Pricefield #LiS #Life is Strange fanfiction #LiS fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfic review #fanfic rec #fanfic reccomendation #All Wounds #destiny-smasher #Before the Storm #my post #ThisDragonisNerdy #hey i had some formatting issues while copying this over to tumblr so uh.. lemme know if thats still an issue!

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trinuviel · 6 years

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The Ice and the Fire of the Song (part 3)

What does the Ice and the Fire refer to in GRRM’s epic fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire? That is the subject of this series of posts. (Part 1, Part 2). In this series, Ice and Fire refer to many different things. That doesn’t mean that one meaning excludes the others but rather that the two concepts have multiple meanings and that these depend on context. In my previous post, I examined Ice and Fire in relation to the cult of R’hllor and its rigid theology of an eternal binary opposition between forces that are ascribed meanings as either Good or Evil.

In this post I’ll use Robert Frost’s poem Fire and Ice as the basis for an exploration of the elements of Ice and Fire in relation human emotions as well as to the history of the world in which the story takes place. Finally, I’ll ponder whether the text offers a possibility to escape the trap that dogmatic binary thinking constitutes. Things aren’t black and white, and sometimes opposing elements can meld together.

DESIRE AND HATE

There are many sources of inspiration for GRRM’s A Song of Ice and Fire but one of them is Robert Frost’s poem Fire and Ice from 1920.

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if I had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

This an apocalyptic poem where the elemental forces of Ice and Fire are interpreted through the lens of human emotions. Ice is hate and Fire is desire.

“People say that I was influenced by Robert Frost’s poem, and of course I was, I mean… Fire is love, fire is passion, fire is sexual ardor and all these things. Ice is betrayal, ice is revenge, ice is… you know, that cold inhumanity and all that stuff is being played out in the books.” (GRRM)

Here Ice and Fire come to symbolize common human feelings – things that unite and divide us: love and hate, etc. In this context, the Ice and the Fire can be applied to any number of the characters since these feelings are universally human. In order to decipher which feelings GRRM assigns to Ice and Fire, it is important to play close attention to the language of the text.

Cold inhumanity

When it comes to cold inhumanity, the Others immediately spring to mind. They are quite literally cold and inhuman. It is, however, more chilling when men and women act with a cold inhumanity. Tywin Lannister is perhaps the prime example of this. He coldly arranges for horrible events to happen without a twinge of remorse or regret. Tywin Lannister shows no empathy towards the people whose lives he ruins. He coldly weds Sansa Stark to his son Tyrion whilst he plots the murder of her family – and he does not display an ounce of empathy with the poor girl that has already been horribly abused by his grandson. In Tywin’s eyes, Sansa is not a person but a means to an end: She’s the Key to the North.

Tyrion rubbed at the raw stub of his nose. The scar tissue itched abominably sometimes. "His Grace the royal pustule has made Sansa's life a misery since the day her father died, and now that she is finally rid of Joffrey you propose to marry her to me. That seems singularly cruel. Even for you, Father." "Why, do you plan to mistreat her?" His father sounded more curious than concerned. "The girl's happiness is not my purpose, nor should it be yours. Our alliances in the south may be as solid as Casterly Rock, but there remains the north to win, and the key to the north is Sansa Stark."

"She is no more than a child." (ASoS, Tyrion III)

He doesn’t care about her feelings or her well-being. Tywin doesn’t care that a pregnancy could be very dangerous for a 12 year-old girl, he just cares that the Lannisters secure a claim to Winterfell and the North. He treats everyone as tools for his ambitions, even his own children. He doesn’t see them as persons in their own right but simple as vehicles for the legacy he wishes to build for House Lannister.

Hate

When it comes to hate, I find it interesting that the inhuman Others are describes as driven by hate towards humankind.

Old Nan nodded. "In that darkness, the Others came for the first time," she said as her needles went click click click. "They were cold things, dead things, that hated iron and fire and the touch of the sun, and every creature with hot blood in its veins…” (AGoT, Bran IV)

In the prologue of the very first book, the author drops a very significant detail: the Others have a language! One of them speaks when the ranging party from the Night’s Watch encounters them, and the Other says something mocking.

The Other said something in a language that Will did not know; his voice was like the cracking of ice on a winter lake, and the words were mocking. (AGoT, Prologue)

Thus, the text hints that they despise humans. We have yet to find out why but it is a delicious mystery.

Distance/rejection

GRRM also uses imagery of ice with scenes of distancing and rejection. Those can be negative things but it depends on the context and the POV of the scene.

He had always had a yen to see the Titan of Braavos. Perhaps that would please Sansa. Gently, he spoke of Braavos, and met a wall of sullen courtesy as icy and unyielding as the Wall he had walked once in the north. It made him weary. Then and now. They passed the rest of the journey in silence. After a while, Tyrion found himself hoping that Sansa would say something, anything, the merest word, but she never spoke. (ASoS, Tyrion VIII)

Notice how the distant courtesy that Sansa hides behind is described as sullen and icy by Tyrion. He is frustrated by Sansa’s refusal to open up to him. He wants her love and she doesn’t want to givet it to him – with good reason. In Sansa’s chapters her courtesy is described as an armour. For Sansa, it is a defense mechanism – she uses it as a means to avoid angering people and to hide her true thoughts and feelings. For Sansa, her courtesy armour is a positive thing whereas it is a negative thing for Tyrion. Some things are all about perspective.

Love

Whilst GRRM relates fire to love in the interview quoted above, there’s a surprising dearth of direct linkage between fire and love in the text (I am excluding passion here because GRRM generally uses passion specifically in relation to lust and hate). Instead, he uses “warmth” in relation to love in its positive aspects.

He was not a man you'd expect to speak of maids and wedding nights. So far as Jon knew, Qhorin had spent his whole life in the Watch. Did he ever love a maid or have a wedding? He could not ask. Instead he fanned the fire. When the blaze was all acrackle, he peeled off his stiff gloves to warm his hands, and sighed, wondering if ever a kiss had felt as good. The warmth spread through his fingers like melting butter. (ACoK, Jon VIII)

The love that is healthy and positive, is the warmth of the bonfire or of the warmth of the body and soul of the beloved. It is a fire that shelters and gently warms.

Bones, Catelyn thought. This is not Ned, this is not the man I loved, the father of my children. His hands were clasped together over his chest, skeletal fingers curled about the hilt of some longsword, but they were not Ned's hands, so strong and full of life. They had dressed the bones in Ned's surcoat, the fine white velvet with the direwolf badge over the heart, but nothing remained of the warm flesh that had pillowed her head so many nights, the arms that had held her. (ACoK, Catelyn V)

Desire/Passion/Lust

When it comes to desire, passion and lust, the imagery of fire runs rampant in the text. One of the ways in which the text associates desire/passion/lust with fire is through the imagery of “kissing”:

She bit his neck and he nuzzled hers, burying his nose in her thick red hair. Lucky, he thought, she is lucky, fire-kissed. "Isn't that good?" she whispered as she guided him inside her. (ASoS, Jon III)

The wildlings seemed to think Ygritte a great beauty because of her hair; red hair was rare among the free folk, and those who had it were said to be kissed by fire, which was supposed to be lucky. […]Sometimes she sang in a low husky voice that stirred him. And sometimes by the cookfire when she sat hugging her knees with the flames waking echoes in her red hair, and looked at him, just smiling . . . well, that stirred some things as well. (ASoS, Jon II)

She would sooner sit bathed in the ruddy glow of her red lord's blessed flames, her cheeks flushed by the wash of heat as if by a lover's kisses. (ADwD, Melisandre I)

Fire is a perfect metaphor for strong emotions, yet the fires of passion are often framed negatively by the text:

Prince Quentyn was listening intently, at least. That one is his father's son. Short and stocky, plain-faced, he seemed a decent lad, sober, sensible, dutiful … but not the sort to make a young girl's heart beat faster. And Daenerys Targaryen, whatever else she might be, was still a young girl, as she herself would claim when it pleased her to play the innocent. Like all good queens she put her people first—else she would never have wed Hizdahr zo Loraq—but the girl in her still yearned for poetry, passion, and laughter. She wants fire, and Dorne sent her mud. You could make a poultice out of mud to cool a fever. You could plant seeds in mud and grow a crop to feed your children. Mud would nourish you, where fire would only consume you, but fools and children and young girls would choose fire every time. (ADwD, The Discarded Knight)

GRRM assigns hatred to ice but hatred can be passionate, it can burn red-hot - like fire:

He did not love, nor was he loved himself. It was hate that drove him. […] this man Sandor Clegane dreamed of slaying his own brother, a sin so terrible it makes me shudder just to speak of it. Yet that was the bread that nourished him, the fuel that kept his fires burning.” – The Elder Brother to Brienne of Tarth, (AFfC, Brienne VI)

Sex

When it comes to the Targaryens, the connection between sex and fire becomes quite literal. I can’t remember who first pointed it out, but when Daenerys rides Drogon for the first time, the language turns almost orgasmic:

The lash was still in her hand. She flicked it against Drogon's neck and cried, "Higher!" Her other hand clutched at his scales, her fingers scrabbling for purchase. Drogon's wide black wings beat the air. Dany could feel the heat of him between her thighs. Her heart felt as if it were about to burst. Yes, she thought, yes, now, now, do it, do it, take me, take me, FLY! (ADwD, Daenerys IX)

There’s a sexual subtext to the language. Dany mounts her dragon and feel his heat between her thighs – an expression that is often used as a description of sexual desire and Dany herself used the expression of taking someone as an euphemism for sex. She mounts her dragons, feels his heat, asks him to take her (“take me, fly”) and her heart feels as if it is about to burst. This is very much the kind of language used to evoke an orgasm.

When it comes to Dany’s father, the connection between fire and sex is direct and so twisted that I lack the words to properly describe it:

The sight had filled him with disquiet, reminding him of Aerys Targaryen and the way a burning would arouse him. A king has no secrets from his Kingsguard. Relations between Aerys and his queen had been strained during the last years of his reign. They slept apart and did their best to avoid each other during the waking hours. But whenever Aerys gave a man to the flames, Queen Rhaella would have a visitor in the night. (AFfC, Jaime II)

The fact that Aerys II became sexually aroused by burning people alive connects fire to madness in the text.

Madness

The Targaryen dynasty is often described as tainted by madness, which is related to the systematic incest they practiced over many generations. However, their madness is particularly tied to fire:

"Did you know that my brother set the Blackwater Rush afire? Wildfire will burn on water. Aerys would have bathed in it if he'd dared. The Targaryens were all mad for fire." – Jaime Lannister to Brienne of Tarth, (ASoS, Jaime V)

The traitors want my city, I heard him tell Rossart, but I'll give them naught but ashes. Let Robert be king over charred bones and cooked meat. The Targaryens never bury their dead, they burn them. Aerys meant to have the greatest funeral pyre of them all. Though if truth be told, I do not believe he truly expected to die. Like Aerion Brightfire before him, Aerys thought the fire would transform him . . . that he would rise again, reborn as a dragon, and turn all his enemies to ash. – Jaime Lannister to Brienne of Tarth, (ASoS, Jaime V)

Passion, desire and lust aren’t negative things in and of themselves, it is interesting that the text more often than not describes these feelings in a negative manner. An excess of passion is just as dangerous as an excess of fire.

“SOME SAY THE WORLD WILL END IN FIRE, SOME SAY IN ICE”

Revisting Robert Frost’s poem, you can’t help but notice that it is a poem about the end of the world. It is apocalyptic. As the story stands, Westeros faces an icy apocalypse brought along by beings that hails from the far North:

Yet there are other tales—harder to credit and yet more central to the old histories—about creatures known as the Others. According to these tales, they came from the frozen Land of Always Winter, bringing the cold and darkness with them as they sought to extinguish all light and warmth. (tWoIaF)

(The Land of Always Winter. Art by Rene Aigner)

Frost’s poem speaks of an apocalypse of either Ice or Fire, where fire is put before ice. This made me think about whether there has been an apocalypse of fire in the history of Westeros. It just happens that there has: the Doom of Valyria (link), where a catastrophic eruption of a ring of volcanoes, the 14 Flames, brought down an entire civilization in a fiery inferno so hot that even dragons caught fire in the sky.

An apocalypse is a world-ending event but it doesn’t necessarily have to destroy the entire world. The Doom did, however, destroy both the Valyrian peninsula and the Freehold as both a political entity and a sophisticated civilization.

Valyria. It was written that on the day of Doom every hill for five hundred miles had split asunder to fill the air with ash and smoke and fire, blazes so hot and hungry that even the dragons in the sky were engulfed and consumed. Great rents had opened in the earth, swallowing palaces, temples, entire towns. Lakes boiled or turned to acid, mountains burst, fiery fountains spewed molten rock a thousand feet into the air, red clouds rained down dragonglass and the black blood of demons, and to the north the ground splintered and collapsed and fell in on itself and an angry sea came rushing in. The proudest city in all the world was gone in an instant, its fabled empire vanished in a day, the Lands of the Long Summer scorched and drowned and blighted. An empire built on blood and fire. The Valyrians reaped the seed they had sown. (ADwD, Tyrion VIII)

That does sound like a world-ending event but there’s also an element of hubris associated with the Doom of Valyria. It was an empire built on fire and blood and it ended in a cataclysmic fire with a magical fallout that still poisons the Lands of of the Long Summer and the Smoking Sea that was created when the peninsula shattered.

Every man there knew that the Doom still ruled Valyria. The very sea there boiled and smoked, and the land was overrun with demons. (ADwD, The Reaver)

The Doom of Valrya spelled the end of the Dragonlords who subjugated the continent of Essos. The only Dragonlords who survived were House Targaryen and they did so die to the prophetic dreams of Daenys “the Dreamer” Targaryen. It was because of her warning that House Targaryen removed to Dragonstone with all their dragons, servants and slaves. A century later, Aegon Targaryen and his sister-wives Rhaenys and Visenya set out to make a new homeland through the Conquest of Westeros.

As a descendant of the only Dragonlords to survive the fiery apocalypse of Valyria, it seems fitting that the Last Targaryen appears destined to become embroiled in the icy apocalypse of Westeros. Daenerys Targaryen has yet to travel to Westeros in the books but she has a prophetic dream that could foreshadow her fighting the Others with her dragons:

That night she dreamt that she was Rhaegar, riding to the Trident. But she was mounted on a dragon, not a horse. When she saw the Usurper's rebel host across the river they were armored all in ice, but she bathed them in dragonfire and they melted away like dew and turned the Trident into a torrent. Some small part of her knew that she was dreaming, but another part exulted. This is how it was meant to be. (ASoS, Daenerys III)

BURNING ICE AND FROZEN FIRE

My previous posts in this series explored what the Ice and the Fire could refer to in GRRM’s epic fantasy series. They also examined the title of the series, A Song of Ice and Fire - a title that encourages the reader to think in absolute opposing forces, which is the most common way that epic fantasies are structured. However, within the narrative, the cult of R’hllor could very well function as a metatextual discourse on this kind of binary thinking and how it is a trap for the mind.

In this context, it is worth noting that Martin combines the opposites of Ice and Fire several times in the text:

Nothing burns like the cold. (AGoT, Prologue)

The Other halted. Will saw its eyes; blue, deep and bluer than any human eyes, a blue that burned like ice. (AGoT, Prologue)

Ice can be so cold that it feels as though it burns, yet there is no equivalent when it comes to fire. There’s no fire burning cold within the text. Then there’s obsidian, also called dragonglass. The material that can kill the Others is called “frozen fire” in Valyrian and when Sam Tarly kills a White Walker with an obsidian dagger, the language evokes an image of the weapon being simultaneously hot and cold:

Finally only the dragonglass dagger remained, wreathed in steam as if it were alive and sweating. Grenn bent to scoop it up and flung it down again at once. "Mother, that's cold." (ASoS - Samwell I)

What are we to make of this? What does this melding of opposites signify? Jojen Reed knows the answer:

“Why can’t it be both?” Meera reached up to pinch his nose. “Because they are different,” he [Bran] insisted. “Like night and day, or ice and fire.” “If ice can burn”, said Jojen in his solemn voice, “then love and hate can mate. Mountain or marsh, it makes no matter. The land is one.” (ASoS, Bran II)

The land is one!!!

In my previous post, I agreed with @thewesterwoman that purity is dangerous in GRRM’s world. As pure ice and pure fire, the Others and the dragons are equally dangerous. Purity represents an imbalance in the natural state of things. Perhaps this means that it is “impure” things that will play a pivotal part in the endgame. The obsidian is interesting in this context because it can be seen as a product of the marriage between fire and stone, the crystallized product of molten stone (lava).

So the weapon that is extremely effective when it comes to killing White Walkers (they die instantaneously) is made from a melding of different elements into something new. Obsidian is neither pure stone, nor pure fire.

(The Wall. Art by Feliche)

It is also worth remembering that the Wall that keeps out the Others and the undead wights is made of ice. However, the Wall is not made from ice that is “pure”. It is infused with the magic of the Children of the Forest – and their magic was of the living land, and the Land is One!

#asoaif #a song of ice and fire #meta #game of thrones #ice #fire

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nothingneverforever · 4 years

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The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

I remember sitting through the first episode of this series with my mom, thinking that it wasn't the best option for us to commit to, worrying that it would be a waste of our precious mother-daughter bonding time. The pacing of the first/second episode was too.. American, the emotional expressions too unsubtle, leaving little room for my audience participation, the acting too stilted, and the actors behaving too much like stage thespians .. and because I'd chosen the series after seeing rave reviews online, I remember sitting through the first episode thinking, huh, this is the shit people been losing their minds over?

And then.... suddenly, quickly, it became one of the most deeply affecting and disturbing shows I'd experienced, and thus eventually, one of my favourites. I'm deciding to write this now, about 9 months after I finished the series, because I've just started on The Haunting of Bly Manor, which is described as a "follow-up" series to Hill House. The narratives are not connected, but much of the cast and crew are the same, which is nice because I was so so so so so impressed with the acting of these specific returning actors in Hill House, and after reading a little more into the production process, I've been allowed to understand that the crew is fucking epic and genius as fuck too. I love this series!!!!!

The title of a Youtube video that I love a great deal on this series, by one of my absolute favourite film analysis video essayists, Ladyknightthebrave, is: Stretching Genre - A Haunting of Hill House Video Essay. And maybe this is what I'll talk about first - genre. I've never particularly cared for 'horror' because I'd rather be able to engage with themes and tropes I can relate to in my own life, stories that resemble my own world from my own ever-romantic perspectives. I've always wanted to delve into horror, to appreciate the elaborately designed surfaces as well as be affected in whatever ways by any depth of conversation or concept, but I don't think I've ever been able to achieve any of this. I've tried to enjoy both superficially (i.e. entertainment value) and also more real-ly many horror productions, but always left with a deep sense of meh. Crimson Peak (which I reviewed here back in 2016) might be the closest I've come to engaging genuinely with anything from this broad genre, but even then I think I liked it more for its kitsch value, its beautiful beautiful beautiful soundtrack, than for the genre-specific parts of the narrative. But I mean, everything makes a film right? The soundtrack and the costumes and the acting are the horror elements in themselves too, I know.

Even then, a lot of the simple reactions I've read for Hill House are ones of surprise, where audiences went in not realizing that a series with the words The Haunting of.. in its title would leave them feeling utterly heartbroken, distraught (sad), emotionally-invested as it were any other drama series. In that Ladyknightthebrave video I mentioned, at multiple points in her essay she says, simply, "hey,... I'm sad" when referencing a particular scene or conversation. And that was, too, my overwhelming reaction to the whole series.... I'm sad!!!!!

Perhaps I should describe the plot a little first.. so the Cranes are a family of 7, mother and father and 5 lovely children: in descending order of age, they are Steve, Shirley, Theo, and twins Luke and Eleanor (Nelly). Here is the official synopsis:

This modern reimagining of the Shirley Jackson novel follows siblings who, as children, grew up in what would go on to become the most famous haunted house in the country.. Now adults, they are forced back together in the face of tragedy and must finally confront the ghosts of their past. Some of those ghosts still lurk in their minds, while others may actually be stalking the shadows of Hill House.

And, from wikipedia, here are some of the notable reviews of the series:

Corrine Corrodus of The Telegraph graded the series with a 5/5 rating, calling it "the most complex and complete horror series of its time." Brian Tallerico of RogerEbert.com gave unanimous praise to the Netflix adaptation, describing it as "essential viewing," and stated that "[the show] contains some of the most unforgettable horror imagery in film or television in years." David Griffin of IGN gave the series a rating of 9.5 out of 10, calling it "a superb and terrifying family drama," and Paul Tassi of Forbes described it as "absolutely fantastic" and stated that "it may actually be Netflix's best original show ever."

Horror author Stephen King, who holds considerable admiration for Jackson's novel, tweeted about the series, "I don't usually care for this kind of revisionism, but this is great. Close to a work of genius, really. I think Shirley Jackson would approve, but who knows for sure."

Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino, in interview with The Jerusalem Post said, "My favorite Netflix series, with no competition, is The Haunting of Hill House."

Due to obvious reasons I give zero fucks about what either King or Tarantino might have to say about, uhh, anything on this planet, but YASSSS RETWEET everything above!!! It is essential viewing!!! Indeed the most complex and complete series of its time!!! Unforgettable imagery!!!

Okie so now on to my own original thots...

My main learning was this: Horror, i.e. the presence of something horrific, for it's characters in the show/story, isn't about feeling frightened or them 'losing their minds' or being driven to questioning their own perceptions of reality or anything like what we've seen in the last 7 decades or so of seeing the genre develop and evolve. In Mike Flanagan's beautiful ode to Shirley Jackson's incredible story, we come to understand that horror is only ever about genuine trauma. I guess, like I talked about earlier, I never really understood what horror's raison d'etre was at all.. like... why?? What is the greater, lasting impact of having audiences shaking in their boots? What is intended by eliciting a gasp or a scream? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?!

I asked, and I've been asking and asking for years, and finally Hill House provided: Horror is, in fact, about unspeakable pain.. Pain that has no outlet in a world that will only ever be skeptical of such experiences... it's about being genuinely haunted in such a way that you can never dream of stability in your life ever again; it's about developing into a closed-off, maladjusted adult, knowing that your experiences of early life cannot be related to anyone else's in any way, not even that of your siblings. I remember taking away this lesson very early on in the series, possibly midway through the second episode. Because the siblings (Steve, Shirley, Theo, Luke, Nelly) are all utterly flawed and thus 'real' characters, we're able to quickly why they are the ways they are. (Important note: the siblings are not flawed in ways that make them unlikable at all, or unrelatable, or downright unpleasant to watch - this is a flaw that other productions have definitely fallen prey to before in the name of achieving that 'realness' however Hill House judges things so perfectly that we are endeared to their flaws and never put off by them.) Their disparate experiences with Hill House growing up, their subsequent very personal meaning-making journeys (some looking more like denial, some resulting in substance dependency), their different levels of having access to the 'truths' about what went on in that cursed home, all of this meant that the siblings ended up, where we see them in 'current day', being broken adults with a lot of misplaced anger, unprocessed trauma, and resentment toward one another. It is the aloneness in all their experiences that is the true horror, and the horrors were a very personal, existential kind and so there was no room for mutual bonding and sharing until it was too late, until their babiest of baby sisters had lost herself to the pressures calling her ‘home’.

And suddenly, I realised: this is the true evil. Ghosts don't ruin lives by doing a good epic scare here and there or by turning your irises white by revealing some fucking scary shit: ghosts are seriously... so... fucking... evil because they ruin your whole entire lives..!!! Horrifying realities take the form of many different things, even if they all originate from one main source. The Crane siblings, as children, had to deal at once with their mother being predisposed to falling victim to the spirits of the house due to, as hinted, mental health conditions of her own, while also dealing with differently confusing aspects of a house and a home that taunted them by making them feel unsafe and secure all at once. Now I say all this from an.. artistic appreciation pov, because I am myself unconvinced that the 'supernatural' or anything of a spiritual realm influences our daily lives. Which is all the more significant, right? That a ""skeptic"" like myself (although I'm not an insensitive and stubborn over-rationalizing dumb male like Steve is in the show) could suddenly realise the tragic effects on many many vulnerable souls of a world that clutching on to its medical models and objective scientific truths.

From the series' wiki page: The Haunting of Hill House received critical acclaim, particularly for its acting, directing, and production values, with many calling it an "effective ghost story."

So yea... finally I know what that means. Finally I know what effect a ghost story can and should have. Finally I understand the potential of the genre!!! Sigh there is literally SO much I could say about how and why this is the best series in the world but maybe I'll stop here for now..? There would be no end if I were to discuss everything because it's one of those series that has 'easter eggs', in the form of hidden ghosts (visual) lurking in the dark or specific lines that foreshadow something else later on, but I've never really cared much to 'reveal' these things so yea, go forth and enjoy this best show everrrrr :-)

(For example there is a lot of discussion online about how each of the 5 siblings represent the 5 different stages of grief à la Kübler-Ross, with the eldest Steve being in complete denial that there was ever any supernatural presence to explain their experience, Shirley reacting with sheer anger to all around her, Theo bargaining her way through her own internal conflicts, Luke being surrounded by swirling depression fueling his drug dependency, and Nell eventually accepting the so-called inevitable, etc etc etc but this kinda analysis is a little too lowbrow and heavy-handed for me to get into so yea haha)

There is a specific dialogue that I want to reference however on my way out: when Nell's suicide/death is revealed early in the series, Shirley has the difficult talk with her young children about it. And these 2 simple lines umm basically summarize the entire plot:

Shirley's son: Why did she die? Shirley: I don't know.. I'm just so sad that she did

Everyone watching the show would relate to that immediately but also that sentiment rings more and more and more true as the episodes come to reveal what a painfully innocent and giving soul Nell was... :(

So sad !!!!!

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Edit: copying below my mom’s initial thoughts after I forced her to read this post hehe, because her words describe a lot of what I think and feel too, and because I want to remember our discussion and reflection forever!

Each of us - lives scarred at some time – in some private way – religion drowns it, cosmetises – but horror – is the Couch of reflection, reliving and something of a letting it out. Feeling again the horror/fear/anxiety/pain/aloneness of that real trauma – but in an shared room, even if only shared with an older, saner, wiser, learning you.

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nightblink · 6 years

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Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 94-99

In which I yell about many things, from Dalinar to worldhoppers, and go on a semi-long rant about how Syl is severely misunderstanding Kaladin’s need for emotional intimacy.

Also, fyi, this Best of Dark Souls Series Soundtrack mix is A+ atmosphere for the whole of Part Four thus far.

Chapter Ninety-Four – A Small Bottle

Another sketch-page before the chapter, this time detailing Types of Vorin Wines. Thank you Sanderson for giving us these little worldbuilding tidbits~

[winces] Seven years ago, and Dalinar was an angry stumbling mess of an addicted, alcoholic drunkard. He's not even functional.

They discovered the Parshendi on that hunting trip and Dalinar still hasn't been to see the Nightwatcher? Daaamn, that trip was a lot later after Evi died than I'd previously imagined. Dalinar's trying to suppress an absurd amount of self-loathing under all that drinking and it's tearing him apart – he was psuedo-functional on the trip but it just reminded him of being the Blackthorn so much that he's basically trying to drown out all memory of that now too

!!! Adolin and Renarin were both on the trip where the Alethi came across the Parshendi!

'Her hair. Her judgmental eyes.' How much of your anger and guilt and self-hatred have you been taking out on your sons, Dalinar.

...you did not just fucking refer to Renarin, your own son, as 'the invalid'. You… ooooo, but I want to STRANGLE you right about now. And then you scream at them on top of that?

Oh, Renarin. First coming back, facing him, giving him the bottle, and then pulling him in for a hug. Dalinar, you think 'timid', but what the hell is braver than what your son is doing right now, huh?

Dalinar… Dalinar practically hated his sons - for how much they reminded him of Evi, for how much they cared - during the worst stages of his grief and alcoholism. Good god. It’s no wonder that this entire family is broken right through to the core.

'Why hadn't the boys learned to hate him back? They should hate him. He deserved to be hated.' This is the realization, isn't it. This is the turning point that finally tipped you over the edge into deciding to visit the Nightwatcher – the love of your sons, the way that Renarin (brave, unshaken Renarin) holds you as you cry.

Chapter Ninety-Five – Inescapable Void

Well that's not an ominous chapter title at all. :|

“the powers of all Surges compounded in one” sounds like one of the most terrifying concepts in the Cosmere. There's a reason that there's no Radiants with all the Surges like there are Mistborn with the ability to burn all metals – they're already too disgustingly OP. To think that there might be an Unmade with all the Surges compounded? Uhhhhh, wh a t. Also what's this about swallowing a gemstone to- wait. Wait. Yelig-nar was the one that Aesudan said “serves me”. Fuuuuck fuck fuckity fuck-

Kaladin is a seething pot of barely-contained emotion right now, even moreso than usual, which is saying something. It's no wonder he's attracting angerspren – he feels that he's abandoning people that he should be protecting, down to the last breath, if need be, and that feeling's only heightened by the fact that they fled from a scene where he couldn't save anyone.

Shallan's too mentally and emotionally exhausted to devote energy to feeling much right about now, and Adolin's in full 'Grieve later. Keep moving. Reach the next goal.' mode. To Kaladin, it doesn't look like they care because they're not outwardly showing any hurt, and that just makes him angrier-

And he's holding onto that even if he knows he's wrong. Because his depression is coming back with a forceful vengeance, and The Wretch is a looming grey fog in the back of his mind just waiting to consume him. 'Life going well? The darkness would whisper that he was only setting himself up for a bigger fall. Shallan glances at Adolin? They must be whispering about him. Dalinar sends him to protect Elhokar? The highprince must want to get rid of Kaladin.' I… shit. Those two lines are a punch in the gut, that is e x a c t l y what it feels like; no matter how much you try to logically convince yourself otherwise, it doesn't matter, because the numbness and the grey and the loneliness are all too overwhelming… damn, I need a moment.

Kaladin, it wasn't your fault. His death wasn't your fault.

'There was an insufferable spring to his step, like he was actually excited by this terrible place.' Oh, Kaladin, how utterly and absolutely wrong you are…

'Awful, terrifying perspective. He could see too many sides.' How to protect people when they're all intent on killing each other, goals diametrically opposed? No good answer. I'll bet his agony over this is going to feed into his next Oath as a Radiant, like his realization over Elhokar did in the last book.

Huh. Shadesmar has Actual Plant Life. Why, and how?

This place, with its eternally dark sky, is far too like the feel of his depression for Kaladin to fight back against the Wretch of his depression right now.

I'm trying to decide whether the continual referral to the spren of Adolin's sword as Adolin's spren is for sheer convenience and writing flow, red herring, or if it's actually hinting at something. Knowing Sanderson, it could be any of those.

Note: the city of the Honorspren was/is “far to the west”

!!! Syl was bonded before?! So, she was 'born' just before the Recreance, and barely had time to really know her bonded before he died. She 'wasn't ready' for the bond – too young, perhaps, even as spren measure these things (however they measure it).

“Spren normally weather the death of their Radiant...” ORLY.

So Syl was asleep for about a thousand years, then lived in the city of the Honorspren for aroud three thousand before she “heard” the call of Kaladin's emotions and left to find him – and it was specifically him that she left (snuck away from) Shadesmar for.

“I suppose the wind is always there somewhere, so they don't fade like passions do.” ….that's important. She's referring to 'passions' like 'emotions', but the fact that that specific word was used is significant in its choice.

Chapter Ninety-Six – Pieces of a Fabrial

That's not a POV-indicator-symbol that we've seen before.

“Yelig-nar is said to consume souls” uhhhhh, that's not good, even if it turns out to be inaccurate in the details

NAVANI IT'S A NAVANI CHAPTER oh yes good this is good, we'll get a perspective on Urithiru right now that's not Dalinar's, and maybe even a peek from the outside at Dalinar himself

Cultural note: 'On the day of the first meeting of monarchs at Urithiru, Navani made each person – no matter how important – carry their own chair. The old Alethi tradition symbolized each chief bringing important wisdom to a gathering.”

Of course Dalinar just tried to bring a stool. That's quintessential Dalinar right there.

Oh shit oh shiiiiit – she'd once been told that Jasnah was dead, but then Jasnah returned… there's not going to be the same conclusion for Elhokar. He's very definitely dead, and even if Navani hears of it, she'll still probably hold out hope. She'll keep on hoping for longer than healthy, I'll bet, because if she was proven wrong once then why can't her denial be right this time as well…

LOPEN. LOPEN OH MY GOD I'M CACKLING.

Bridge Four is convinced that Kaladin's disappearance is nothing more than a minor setback, and what reason do they have to believe otherwise? He's never really shared his breakdowns or deeper insecurities with the rest of them – or ever intentionally shared them at all – and he's always come back after getting knocked down. There's no reason they shouldn't be optimistic, for all they know.

Poor Gawx, having to sit in a meeting like this before all the heads of state; he's at least gotten a bit of experience under his belt, but he's still woefully outclassed.

Renarin. Oh man, you don't look like you're taking Adolin's disappearance well. HAH JASNAH BROUGHT A STOOL WHEN DALINAR COULDN'T. It is padded though; she at least gives more thought to comfort than he does. But where are Sebarial and Palona?

Ooooo, Ialai. Deliberately thumbing her nose at both Navani's order – Kholin orders – and the chair-tradition itself. Is she planning something specific at the moment, or just subtly displaying her refusal of respect?

[hums] So Navani realizes that she and everyone else still think of Malata as Taravangian's; that's good. We haven't seen any indication of her working as “Dalinar's” Radiant at all. Though she's sometimes worked the Oathgate, she hasn't actually worked her way in amongst the rest of the Radiants, and all we've seen of her is a small glimpse when she spoke to Shallan. Otherwise, she's still an enigma.

Lift is beating Rock in an eating contest. You go girl; show him how it's done.

Navani, Dalinar is probably not capable of leading the meeting at this point in time. It's terrible timing, but that can't be helped. You're the Dowager Queen, you can do this.

Ffffffft, Sebarial and Palona-

SEBARIAL PLZ

Note: Navani is fluent in Azish.

Hoooo boy, and we're immediately knee-deep in Politics. Emul wants the threat from Tukar gone and the awakened Parshmen back under their control, Gawx/Azir is in over his head, Tashikk wants to discuss regulation of the Oathgates, Natan would like the Gate on the Shattered Plains now please and the Alethi out, Thaylenah wants “free” (favorable for them) trade, Yezier wants- wait what do you mean Iri and Rira “seem to have fallen in with the enemy”? Do you mean the Tukari God-King, or Odium? I can only imagine it's the former.

Who knows where the tech for half-Shards is at right now or how/how quickly they can make them – they'd give an enormous edge against the Unmade, but production is probably not viable at the moment for use in the armies.

Yeaaaah, you have way better tech now, since you've actually have the time after Aharietiam to settle down and invent things without being plunged into Desolation after Desolation.

…. “Abandoned.” He's not wrong. The Radiants did abandon them all, their duty, and their bonded spren. Dalinar swears it won't be the same, but precedent tells them otherwise, and what reason have they to trust these Radiants and the awesome powers that they now wield?

IALAI. GODDAMN IT. [drags hands down face] YOU COMPLETELY AND EFFORTLESSLY NUDGED THE CONVERSATION IN SUCH A WAY AS TO DISCREDIT WHAT DALINAR AND NAVANI ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO DO.

She's very, very good at what she does, you have to admit.

And now the whole thing is degrading down into arguments and thrown barbs. Thankfully, Navani's got this. Years as Queen and negotiating/maneuvering through social situations has prepared her, and she's got the sort of analytic mind that can turn such a gathering into a Problem To Be Solved.

A Problem To Be Solved by each nation playing to their strengths: Azish organization – she's right, they'll all need a common set of laws to work under if they're all going to work together in this sort of unity; international trade to the Thaylen government (no matter how much Sebarial may choke on his snacks over that decision); and the Alethi… “Well, we do excel at one thing.” Very true. Generals and armies it is.

So it's the Fused that have Iri, as well as bases of power in Marat and Alethkar.

So they've locked the Kholinar Oathgate from Urithiru – no chance of the four lost in Shadesmar to get through to Urithiru using the Kholinar Gate somehow, then, even if they did manage to un-Corrupt the Gatespren.

[breaths out] Azir agreeing to send help is a huge show of solidarity as well as perhaps even a burgeoning trust – or, at the very least, respect. This alliance between the major nations might actually have a chance of working. I'm still leery, as this has the chance to go very, very badly, but… there's a chance.

You… you don't need the Blackthorn, Navani. Nobody needs the Blackthorn (and you really shouldn't want him either) – you need Dalinar Kholin. Problem is, he's… broken. Like the rest of the Radiants. He'll never be ““fixed””, but he can take a step forward again. He's just not there yet, not with what he's newly remembered.

Chapter Ninety-Seven – Riino

“Of the Unmade, Sja-Anat was most feared by the Radiants.” Um, fuck? F u ck? And the entry says that she can only corrupt 'lesser' spren, but considering the fact that she's corrupted the Oathgate-spren, she's very likely grown stronger in the intervening years.

Psuedo-flashback for Kaladin again – '[He] remembered holding a dying woman's hand.” Who had gotten caught in what's essentially a bear trap as he tried to lead a slave escape. This is not boding well for his state of mind.

'What other simple, stable parts of his life were complete lies?' It's not that it's technically a lie, it's just that people didn't know enough about spren to be informed, but of course with the way Kaladin's thinking right now, when everything is turned to the negative and he's feeling trapped and along, of course it feels like lies, or the world mocking him.

Ooop, he's been found out. But… it doesn't look bad? Not really? (YET. NO GUARANTEE. SUSPICION AT ALL TIMES RIGHT NOW.)

Even if you were able to wear your Veil-personality right now, Shallan, you and therefore she still know nothing about actual scouting, and Veil's “streetwise-ness” and confidence won't help anything in that regard.

Unlike Kaladin, she might actually have the potential for some measure of healing while they're stuck here in Shadesmar…

“Yeah. Weird stuff.” Syl please. At least you and Pattern seem to be getting along fairly well, as far as things go? From Syl's past descriptions of Cryptics, I'd have thought there'd be more friction between you two.

Mmm, and here's Adolin, making sure she's all right and helping how he feels he can. (The physical contact is probably as much for him as for her, admittedly.)

“He's got battle fatigue, and an objective will help with that.” Mmmmm, yes and no – depression and heavy PTSD are the main factors here, but giving him an 'objective' will at least help a little; not as much as it would someone whose mind works like Adolin's does, though, as we see that Kaladin's scouting just brought up more memories of pain, rather than narrowing to focus on a goal. Either way, keeping an eye on him right now is necessary. The last thing he needs is to be alone on top of feeling alone.

Clothing says a lot about people indeed, and knowing that that's Vivenna… she's Nalthian and probably still has Heightenings, and they go for more saturated shades as a rule. 'Trying to prove something' is spot-on if she hasn't changed too much from how she was in Warbreaker. It's a really good assessment on Adolin's part.

“It didn't fit me anymore.” ….oh. Oh. That's… you're not being literal in the slightest. Damn.

OOOP, CORRUPTED APPROACHING, TIME TO LEAVE

omg the old man's a fortuneteller, and he reads the future from the highstorms. What do those even look like in the Cognitive Realm; does it infuse gems with Investiture like in the Physical Realm? The destructive winds must not be an issue if Azure/Vivenna told them not to worry…

...that old man should really have a “No Touchie” sign on that thing if he doesn't want people to get their fingerprints all over it. Or sucked away into a storm-vision.

A few things in Very Short Order: A) Sja-Anat can speak through her corrupted spren; B) she calls her corruption Enlightening, which is disturbing in and of itself (though really, it sounds like just another instance of The Bad Guys thinking they're In The Right, which, fair); C) there's an informant in Urithiru, but they're not part of Dalinar's inner circle since they passed on the lie that Shallan was an Elsecaller – I can't remember, do Taravangian and Malata know that Shallan's a Lightweaver and not an Elsecaller?; and D) Sja-Anat is still “helping” them, which is weird and I am still very suspicious.

FUUUUUCK, KALADIN'S SEEING A VISION OF THE FUTURE AND IT'S DALINAR IN TROUBLE. At… I think that must be Thaylen City? That'd probably be the only city that fits the description given. GUYS, GUYS YOU'VE GOTTA GET BACK ASAP

[chokes] “Unless...you're Invested. What Heightening are you? No. Something else. Merciful Domi… A Surgebinder? Has it begun again?” uM. UM UM UM. YOU'RE FROM SEL, AND YOU KNOW INVESTED NALTHIANS. AND YOU'RE AWARE THAT ROSHARAN SURGEBINDERS ARE A SIGN THAT SHIT'S ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN.

Haaaaaah, that man's not Shin, Kaladin, even if that's the closest analogue you can think of.

Regarding Wit, nobody's sure what he is.

[SNORTS] Looks like Roshar has yet to invent canning, of all things. That seems like something that would originate from Scadrial.

This time the spren of Adolin's Blade was referred to in that exact manner. Any referral to her as 'Adolin's spren' is probably just for flow of writing, then.

….why didn't you want to come into the lighthouse, Syl? Old memories, a bad feeling?

[winces] Rathalas. The Rift. And Adolin doesn't know the truth of what really happened to his mother there. I'm… I'm actually frightened to see what's going to happen when he does learn the true story.

I was right, it is Thaylen City he saw, and yeah, theoretically they should be able to transfer back via the Oathgate (if they can figure out how) – better to go there than to the Peaks if the danger Kaladin foresaw is slated to happen sooner rather than later. There's also been the insinuation that something weird, even wrong, is happening on the Peaks, so going there might not be the best idea anyway.

And right afterwards Shallan seconds that suspicion about the Peaks. Yeaaaaah. Try for Thaylen City.

[hums] Well, there's a good distraction for him to try to focus on. Protect Dalinar. It won't do much to quell his depression, but it's helping, and he needs all the help he can get right about now.

!!! Those ship-pullers sound REALLY COOL – like giant winged eels, almost! 'Traveling in style' indeed.

Chapter Ninety-Eight – Loopholes

“Abandon a city if the spren start acting weird.' YEAH, WELL, FAILED STEP ONE. Okay, so 'Sja-Anat was often regarded as an individual, when others – like Moelach or Ashertmarn – were seen as forces.' More along the lines of proper sentience rather than the personification/embodiment of a particular force or feeling, like Ashertmarn's Revel.

[sighs] The Desolation is definitely on its way, if not already here, Skybreakers. Gotta wait for that Heraldic Confirmation, though.

SURGEBINDER PAINTBALL. Oh this is gonna be fun

So. Shinovar trains people (warriors?) with the Honorblades – and they have all the rest save for Taln's and Jezrien's? And Szeth was one of them, flying the winds since he was young. Damn, that makes it all the more impressive that Kaladin bested him! Hmm, looks like Honorblades also use more stormlight for the Surges they give than a Radiant of that order would utilise for the same.

For once, in all the time we've seen him, Szeth is enjoying himself. That's nearly a miracle all it's own.

...and then immediately feels guilty for feeling happy.

[amused] Denth was better than Vasher at swordsmanship, sure, but “isn't any good with the sword” is just hilarious when they both had a few thousand(?) years both to hone their skill.

“And nobody should ever let him get too close.” No kidding. Whatever experience these older squires have, they're still up against the man who is/was The Assassin in White.

That's a funny sight right there, though – the graceful arc in front of the last glimmer of sunset, and POOFPOOFPOOF he gets nailed by all those who have dust pouches left. Almost there!…but not quite.

um. UM. Is that.. are those highspren? Slashes in the air, gaps into the void of space?

HAH. Loopholes indeed.

!!! Heyyyy, Nale is back! Where's you go on your retreat away after the craziness in Edgedancer, Nale? And did you find what you were looking for?

“It is time for you to learn the two greatest secrets that I know.” WH A T. TELL US TELL US TELL US-

Chapter Ninety-Nine – Reachers

Sketchpage at the beginning of the chapter is excellent. GIANT FLYING EEL-DRAGON-SPREN FTW – called “mandras” in Shallan's side notes

This 'Nergaoul' sounds like The Thrill, save that it's only the Alethi that are affected,rather than both sides of a single battlefield. Did the Unmade somehow figure out how to transfer its power through human genetics, rather than needing to be in the general area to spread/activate its power?

Back to Shadesmar, and to Kaladin struggling with the suffocating blanket of darkness that his depression is strangling him with.

Lightspren = called Reachers, look like “humans with strange bronze skin”, “metallic, as if they were living statues”. I'm wondering if these spren might have any connection with the Iri(-Riran?) genetic weirdness of metallics

...what the hell is up with Syl? Did she have Shallan Lightweave her? Can she change colour at will as well as shape? Is she trying to make the other spren believe that she's human?

And what's up with the vibrating copper plating on the ship? Some sort of guideline?

“Foreign technology.” I'm betting that orb that the lighthouse-keeper had is some sort of Selish device.

The 'Stone of Ten Dawns'. Kaladin, you mention that like it's supposed to be common knowledge, or at least common mythology. Is this another one of those like the 'Honor's Drop' or whatever-it-was that was mentioned in a chapter header some time ago?

Kaladin apparently doesn't know what condensation is…? Or at least how you can utilize temperature to make it happen. Using such a method to get water is probably a foreign concept on Roshar, considering the highstorms – they don't have any deserts on the planet so far as we can tell.

I'm with Syl on this one, Kaladin, riding one of those flying spren sounds awesome.

“Where's your sense of adventure?” “I dragged it out back and clubbed it senseless for getting me into the army.” KALADIN PLZ (at least he's feeling better enough to snark without much rancor?)

So Syl is under a Lightweaving. Are honorspren really so rare as to attract that much attention – and bad attention at that?

[throws hands into the air] He doesn't need a girlfriend/boyfriend, Syl, he needs a FRIEND. I- you've been sort of getting the hang of human arrangements and emotions but you don't have a good enough grasp on them to understand what your human really needs right about now. Would it be great if he could go and talk to Shallan and start to get to actually know her? YES. That'd be GREAT. But shoving him into a romance that you think he needs, especially as he still has an idealized version of her in his head right now? Bad idea. You're encouraging some of the right things – talking to her – for the wrong reasons/goals.

I love Syl, I really do, but I have issues with how she's been acting throughout much of this book when it comes to Kaladin and interpersonal relationships – not even just with Shallan, but like that time back in Alethkar when she was suggesting he get laid. Kaladin and Syl need to sit down and have a long talk about human relationships/emotions/everything.

[drags hands down face] HE NEEDS A CLOSE FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN'T A SUBORDINATE, SYL. EQUALS. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ROMATICALLY OR PHYSICALLY INTERESTED FOR THAT TO HAPPEN AND FOR HIM TO GET THE EMOTIONAL CLOSENESS HE NEEDS.

Ooo, another mention of the mysterious Tarah – who we still know next to nothing about.

Looks like Shallan knows what condensation is! Makes sense. That must have just been something beyond the scope of Kaladin's learning – though making water that way would be very useful for surgeons, as it's probably the cleanest water they can manage on Roshar, untouched by crem.

Oh noooo, poor seasick Azure-Vivenna…

!!!!! These mandras – the 'luckspren' – they're what allow greatshells to grow to immense size, beyond what even the lower gravity and higher atmospheric oxygen ratio allow? (It's good to see Shallan getting all excited about biology and… spren-ology or whatever it may be called… like she used to, back before she started distinctly splitting personalities to cope with her remembered trauma.)

“I'm mysterious.” “I used to think you were. Then I found out you don't like good puns – it's truly possible to know too much about somebody.” See? See? This banter? You two can become friends, you'd both probably even have fun together – any sort of romantic entanglements need to come far after that though.

Two-ish more days to the city on the Sea (Island) of Spears, then some several more down to Thaylen City – not only is it a longer distance on the map, but they'll have to cross over river-land to get there unless they go around, which makes the journey much, much longer. And there's also the fact that not everyone's on board with the vision he saw and their destination...

That feeling, Kaladin? It's called f r i e n d s h i p. That's why it feels different from your previous, purely-romantic crushes.

I- Kaladin, Kaladin, no. [groans and buries face in hands] I know it might sound nice, especially when the depression is weighing on you like a dark monster on your back, but repression like that is not a good thing. And it's not actually working.

#blink reads oathbringer #oathbringer spoilers #[INSERT LOTS OF FRUSTRATED SIGHING]

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