#dave x calliope

[quicksilver-kto]

hi!! this is my new account for my (greeneryandcacti) past blog, because I'm stupid, deleted the login details and forgot everything( In any case, new pictures and a couple of old ones that I like :p

#homestuck #dave strider #jade harley #davejade #meulin x kurloz #calliope #dammeu #rosemary #gamtav #gamnep #damara megido #meulin leijon #kurloz makara #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #gamzee makara #tavros nitram #nepeta leijon

[meggie-moo]

happy pride!! :) all homestuck characters are queer, so i just settled for some of my favorite ships/characters :D

#homestuck #meg’s incoherent thoughts #meg’s art #jade harley #june egbert #calliope #roxy lalonde #dave strider #karkat vantas #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #rosemary #davekat #roxy x calliope #<- what is their ship name? #roxiope #<- that’s what google says ig #i’m not sure i like this drawing but ig LOL i do like the simple coloring style though #meg’s more coherent drawings

[davekat-sucks]

Best Homestuck Ship: Round 1

#Davekat #Dave x Karkat #DaveKarkat #DavexKarkat #KarDave #KatDave #DaveKar #Callirox #Calliroxy #RoxyCallie #RoxCallie #CallieRoxy #Roxy x Calliope #Calliope x Roxy #RoxyCalliope #CalliopeRoxy #Calliope #HS Calliope #Calliop Cherub #Roxy Lalonde #Dave Strider #Karkat Vantas

[fallenasleepyetagain]

Love from the Sea - Calliope/Jade Fic

Prompt: Mermaid AU

Prompt from: @yearoftheotpevent​

Media: Homestuck, Mermaid AU/Aquariumstuck AU

Genres: Fluff, pre-established relationship, mermaid x human

Characters: Jade Harley, Calliope, Dave Strider, Caliborn (mentioned), Dirk Strider (mentioned), Marquise Spinneret Mindfang (mentioned)

Pairing(s): Jade/Calliope, Dirk/Caliborn (very lightly implied)

CW/TW - None!

Word Count: 3880

Slush dumped from the clouds, being too cold for rain and too warm for snow. February was almost over, and spring time was almost here! Jade wasn’t one for the winter or cold weather. Maybe it was her upbringing in the Pacific Islands, or maybe it was that thing Rose kept asking her to look into…seasonal affective disorder? Regardless of what it was, Jade was more than ready to start growing plants and spending time in the sun! Despite her dodgy relationship with the winter season, it didn’t stop her from making the long drive from her rural home to the Skaian Aquarium. Despite the length of the drive, podcasts and radio music gave her company as she went.

It was around 9 o’clock when Jade pulled into the aquarium parking lot. It was a Sunday, which meant that she had about two hours before the building was opened up to the public. She would normally have to wait like the rest of the Skaian residence, but she was blessed with being friends with a worker! Jade shivered as she turned off her car, the warm air being quickly overtaken by the cold. She slipped back on her puffy, gray winter jacket, exiting her car. She shivered as she shoved her keys into the pockets on her skirt, which were massive in comparison to the average jean pocket. Zipping up her jacket took no time at all, and she began her way to the aquarium. She jogged as she did so, trying to keep warm as her teeth chattered from the cold. She had made sure that her ID was on the outside of her jacket, so she could scan herself in without having to unzip and release all the warmth she had been storing.

Jade got to the aquarium entrance in no time at all. Normally the doors would just be open, and you could buy tickets to go see all the animals at the reception desk inside. That would not be the case for Jade, since she was coming in early. Before she would have to wait for Dave to let her in, but he pulled through and got her an official pass to allow her to come in basically whenever she wanted. She jolted and shivered as she pulled her hand out of her pocket to scan her ID. Much to her relief, she wouldn’t have to fight it. It worked the first time and the automatic doors opened for her. She entered the aquarium and the smell of salt water assaulted her nose. Dave was not there to greet her as he usually was, but that was alright. Jade knew where she was going. The aquarium was dark, the only lights being from the massive windows. There was the faint humming in the background, any of those with fish would recognize it as a filtering system. The aquarium was massive and they needed to have a massive filtering system to care for all of the creatures that lived inside. It was a surprise that the humming wasn’t louder!

The first stop on Jade’s mental list was the employee backroom. It was on the first floor and relatively hard to find if you didn’t know where to look. It was on the opposite side of the floor that the receptionist desk was at and was near the indoor penguin exhibit. The penguins had an indoor and outdoor exhibit, and if the weather was appropriate and there were enough people working, then the penguins could go outside! The door was around there, and most were too enthralled by the penguins to notice employees walking in and out.

Most of the penguins were awake when she arrived at their enclosure, swimming around and playing with each other. As Jade walked past, a penguin came up to her in the water, looking at her with curious eyes. She smiled and bent down, putting her finger against the cold glass. The penguin put its beak to her finger from the other side, following it as she made little shapes against the glass. Penguins were so cute and so very silly! Jade had never worked with them personally, but she loved watching them play and swim around. She was surprised that the penguin was playing with her, maybe it recognized her somehow?

“Hey Jade.”

Jade jolted upright, which caused the penguin to swim off. She looked to her left and grinned. Standing before her was one of her very good friends! His sunglasses reflected the lights from the penguin exhibit, and his normally side-swept, blonde hair was pulled back into a low man-bun. There was never a time that he didn’t complain about it, but he worked one-on-one with the more exotic creatures at the zoo, and the last thing that he needed was to be yanked into the water and die.

“Dave!” Jade gasped, before pulling him into a tight hug. Dave wheezed and patted her shoulder, an awkward yet friendly gesture. She pulled away and he pushed up his glasses adjusting back to his “cool guy” stature. That was just mostly keeping his hands in his pockets at all times. 

“Hanging out with the penguins?”

“Yep! They’re really cute.” Jade said with a chirp, watching Dave as he crouched down to see the penguins as they swam through the water. They appeared to recognize him, doing little spins and splashes in the water.

“Yeah, I guess they’re pretty cute. At least until they start asking for fish. Have you seen what their mouths look like?” Dave stood up and grabbed Jade by her shoulders, “They have fucking nightmare mouths Jade. It’s like looking into one of those metal crusher machines, with a million little spines just waiting to tear up your flesh.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not here to feed the penguins! I’m here to see Callie.”

“Callie? What do you…ah. Right right, I know what you’re talking about.” Dave nodded, his hands finding his way back into his pockets. He gestured towards the door with his head, and walked towards it. Jade followed, taking off her fluffy coat as she did so. The two entered the room, and Jade opened Dave’s locker. It was relatively empty, with a sad slumped over backpack being the only thing inside. She shoved her coat into it, and emptied her pockets, not wanting to risk anything getting wet.

Dave waited patiently against the wall next to the door that would lead them to where Jade wanted to go. Once the locker was closed, he opened the door and entered, Jade on his heels.

“How has Callie been?”

“Uhh, she’s been good. We’re working on getting a proper spot set up for her soon.”

“How exciting!” Jade gasped, maybe she wouldn't have to go the roundabout way of meeting up with Calliope!

“Haha yeah. She’s been real cool. Let us run tests and other medical things.”

“Isn’t she amazing! She’s always so nice and kind! I love her.” The Skaian Aquarium was known for its exotic animals and its rehabilitation programs, taking care of sick animals and then releasing them back out into the wild. As of a few months ago, they had found some creatures that were unlike anyone had ever seen. Mermaids and sirens and whatnot were from myths! Creatures conjured by the human mind. At least, up until the Skaian Aquarium had discovered an injured sea spider, one that was massive and had a human-like torso. She had the smarts and cunningness of any other human, but she lived in the sea and had aquatic biology. Her name was Mindfang, and would be the first of many merpeople that the aquarium would take in.

The sea snake known as Calliope was soon to follow. She was searching for shelter and ended up at the aquarium. She was not injured, unlike Mindfang, and was much less violent. Jade couldn’t blame Mindfang for being violent, though. If someone took her from her home then she would be pretty upset too! Calliope was always willing to answer questions about her home, as well as any anatomical questions the staff had. Jade often visited her, just to chat about nothing in particular. They got along splendidly and despite Calliope’s appearance being what some would describe as eerie, Jade loved the way she looked. Calliope was a long and twisting sea snake, being well up to forty feet long! She was also very skeletal, not having any skin! Although what appeared to be bones was also muscle? How did that work? The staff weren’t sure. Nobody was sure, really.

Regardless of what she looked like, Jade adored her! From the moment the two of them met a month ago, they were like two peas in a pod! They just clicked. Almost every conversation went swimmingly, and Jade spent many hours of the day just chatting away with her! And recently, she and Jade had been a bit more…touchy? Nothing too crazy, but Jade often found herself placing kisses on Callie’s cheeks and skull. Jade wasn’t sure if it would be considered a relationship, but they were probably a bit more than friends? It didn’t matter much though, since most interaction between them was just that! Between them! No one else! Despite what Dave and the other workers warned her not to do, Jade often found herself swimming in Callie’s tank with her. Since the temperature of the water was very warm, being around 80 degrees fahrenheit or 26.67 degrees celsius! She didn’t worry about freezing or being too cold to swim back up. She didn’t worry about drowning much at all, since Callie made a point to keep her head near or above the water at all times.

The concern from many of the workers there was that they worried that the merpeople (that’s what Jade had started calling them) would “go rogue” and start hunting down humans. Jade thought that was ridiculous, so she kept doing it.

“She’s pretty cool.”

“Any updates with what’s going on or…?” Dave nodded, “We’re thinking about moving some of them to exhibits for the public. With their expressed permission, obviously.”

“Of course of course.” Jade nodded along. She had heard all about the trials and arguments that the aquarium had with both the government and within its own walls. Many members of the staff simply wanted to ship them off to government sites for experimentation while others wanted to continue to learn about them in a more humane and rehabilitation-like manner. Dave was among the latter group. He ended up being one of the ones chosen to go to congress to argue in the merpeoples’ favor, which Jade heard all about. In the end, surprisingly, the humanitarians had won. There was still some debate about whether or not the public should know about it, but whatever happened had to be better than them being shipped off to torture sites!

What was to happen with the public and the merpeople was out of their hands. However, the aquarium workers had started to argue for more enriching tanks. Currently they were just put into large, glass tubes with basically nothing inside. The argument being posed as of now is that if a human was put into a room with nothing in it, then they would go insane! It is cruel to expect that of any animal, especially not one with sentience.

“Currently we’re planning on moving Calliope into a temporary holding tank so we can move Mindfang to Calliope’s current tank and then move Calliope into Mindfang’s tank since it’s bigger.”

“That sounds really tricky…”

“Eh. We’ve done crazier things.” He just shrugs.”

The two approach the labyrinth that lay underneath the aquarium, it was like a hospital, but with a more scientific vibe to it. It had many large rooms solely for storing large animals like the merpeople found in the ocean. There was a lot of other storage as well, but Jade had never seen it. It was also a research and medical lab, for when animals had to be taken care of or studied. Dave scanned his ID and the large metal door opened. It sounded like a fork being ground against a chalkboard and Jade covered her ears with her hands in response. Once the door opened fully, she removed them from her head and walked inside.

Jade made sure to anticipate the sound when she stepped in, tensing up as Dave scanned his ID again to close the door. The door made the horrible scraping sound and she and Dave both visibly cringed.

“Why does it even do that??” She asked, baffled. The aquarium was built almost perfectly, so how in the world was the door able to scrape across the floor? “I wish I knew. It has done that every, single, time, that I have been here, Jade. Every single goddamn time.”

Dave had scoffed in exasperation and Jade chuckled a little at him. The two would’ve made it to Calliope’s tank in record time if Jade hadn’t gotten distracted. There were many tanks in the basement of the aquarium, most of them dim and empty. So when Jade had noticed Dirk standing over a tank that was usually empty. He seemed very involved with his work, so Jade wouldn’t call out to him, but she did gesture at Dave for an explanation.

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, Dirk’s working with the new guy. Apparently he’s Calliope’s twin brother.”

“Oh!!!” She chirped, putting her hands together, smiling. And then, she remembered all the things Calliope and told her about him and her face immediately fell, “Oh.” “So I assume you’ve heard about him?”

“Unfortunately.” Jade seethed out quietly, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. Dave snorted. “So…what’s Dirk doing with him? I thought he didn’t really like anybody?”

“He doesn’t seem to mind Dirk.”

“How come?” Dave could only shrug.

The tank that held Calliope wasn’t too far from where they were. Dave got a text from one of the aquarium managers that he had to return back up to the surface to take care of some things. Jade could only laugh a little at his dramatic groan as he almost immediately began to come up with excuses to stall for time. Dave dropped Jade off at Calliope’s tank, despite her not needing it, and taking the longest route possible back up the stairs. The room that Calliope’s tank was in smelt constantly like sea water. Like every room, there was a long platform that led to the top of the tank. Since Calliope was always very amicable and polite, they had a ladder installed so a person could enter and exit the water if necessary. The staff trusted Calliope. She had shown no desire to escape and since she did medical examinations and studies without issue, it was decided to just install a ladder into it.

From the moment Jade walked into the room, Calliope was visible. She was very long and her coloring went from a medium shade of green that got darker as you went along her body. Her tail almost a pure shade of black. She had these little fins that were all over her spine that were a bright lime color. This shade of green was shared with her cheek spirals, eyes, and freckles she had! Calliope had told Jade that all of her lime green spots would glow if she went down deep into the ocean, although due to the light and lack of depth within her tank, she couldn’t show Jade. Jade could see Calliope from a mile away, and her heart began to race. What was supposed to be a walkway became a diving board in Jade’s mind. She slipped off her socks and shoes, leaving them in a neat pile.

“CALLIE!” Jade shouted and her bare feet began to slam against the metal bars. It felt like running across floor grates, but Jade didn’t care. There was a few seconds in between her shout and her diving into the water. Calliope had shifted in her tank, adjusting herself so she and Jade wouldn’t hit each other.

Warm water enveloped her, like a hug or blanket. Her clothes detached themselves from her skin, waving and flowing like coral. She felt her glasses slip from her face, despite her going into the water face first. Opening her eyes to grab them was out of the question, since she didn’t want to deal with salty eyes. Before she even got the chance to think though, a pair of sharp, skeletal hands gently lifted her by her under arms. She tilted her head upwards, her face breaching the surface. The air was cold as the warm water slipped down the curves of her face. Her vision was blurry, even as she wiped the water from her eyes. That was until Calliope took her glasses from the water, shaking them to get as much water off as she could.

Gently, Calliope set the glasses  on Jade’s face. “Hello, love.” Jade giggled, her cheeks flushing slightly. As water dripped from her glasses, Calliope’s face came into view. Despite Calliope’s opinion, Jade loved holding her face. The spiral patterns on her cheeks were so cute, her eyes were large and had thick eyelashes. Jade loved her face, she loved her high cheekbones and her heart shaped nose.

“Hehehe, hi Callie.” She said, pressing her lips against Calliope’s forehead. “How have you been? I’ve heard that they’re possibly moving you!”

Before responding, Calliope carried Jade over to the ladder and sat her down, so she was sitting on one of the rungs. Her upper chest was out of the water, her shirt pressed flat against her skin. Calliope was also out of the water slightly, but it was just her head and the top of her broad shoulders. Her hands were wrapped around the sides of the ladder, her eyes not moving from Jade. “They are indeed! They worry that being here by myself with no surroundings will cause me to become stressed.”

Jade cupped Calliope’s cheek, “Are you…stressed?”

“Oh! Hee hee, not at all! While the days do tend to blur, and sometimes it can get lonely, but that isn’t anything I’m not used to.” Jade frowned. “Ah, however, I am not as alone as I was when I was out in the ocean. I get to see and talk with people frequently.”

Calliope reached her hand out of the water, and pushed a piece of Jade’s hair out of her face, “And, I love getting to see you. How can I be stressed when I know that you are coming to visit?”

“Hehe!” Jade pressed a kiss to Calliope’s forehead, “I know that being here isn’t toooo exciting hehe, but have you done anything interesting lately?”

As Calliope began to speak, Jade lowered herself down a rung. The cold air had begun to bother her, and the tightness of her shirt was beginning to bother her. All of her body was underwater from her neck down. Calliope followed suit, her body shifting in the water. Jade’s green eyes turned from Calliope’s and towards the swishing movement of her tail. Where did her torso begin and her tail end…? Questions for another time, Jade supposed. Despite her no longer keeping eye contact, she was still paying attention.”

“Dirk recently introduced me to land chess! It is very similar to a game that my brother and I used to play. The rules are a little different, but they are stagnant and don’t change, so it was very easy to pick up on!”

“Yeah??? I never was too good at chess…” “I could teach you, if you’d like!”

“That might be fun! Did you end up beating Dirk?”

“Oh yes! And Dave as well. It was good fun! I sometimes wonder what my brother would think of the game…haa. That’s a silly thing to think about, don’t you think?”

There was silence for a moment, neither sure what to say. Jade put her hand against Calliope’s cheek, feeling the spiral mark on her.

“I wonder what he’s up to…”

Before Jade could stop the words from coming out of her mouth, she spoke, “Maybe you can ask Dirk about him?”

“Dirk? Why would…?” Then it clicked, her hand went up to her mouth slowly and Jade cringed.

“I’m sorry Callie, maybe I shouldn't've-”

“No! No, don’t apologize. Is he…alright?”

“I think so. I didn’t see him, but Dirk was with him! So I am sure he’s fine.”

“It is probably for the best that you didn’t see him.” Calliope stated. Jade could see the odd expression on her face, but she could not tell what it was. Despite that, she knew something she should do. She took Calliope by her hand, and pushed against the walls of the tank. She swam out into the tank, Callie following shortly behind her. “Goodness Jade! You should be careful, love.”

“Hehe, I’ll be okay!”

“You should still be careful, something could always happen and-”

“And you’ll be there.” Jade said, flipping onto her back and floating there. 

Calliope smiled at her softly and went under the water for a moment. From her limited position, Jade could tell that Calliope was going in a small circle. She rose from the water behind Jade’s head, holding it above the water slightly more than it had been before. She gently touched Jade’s face, her skin warm under her touch. Their eyes connected, and Calliope leaned down and pressed her nose hole to the human’s forehead.

“I like it when it’s just us.”

“Yes.” Calliope agreed, running her clawed fingers through Jade’s hair as it moved in the water.

Jade turned around suddenly, kicking her feet to keep her head afloat. “I can’t wait until you get moved into a not boring tank! I’m almost scuba certified.”

“Scuba certified?”

“That means that someone can safely scuba dive deep into the water! When they go through the certification process, they are trained on how to use all of the equipment and stay safe. When I get certified, I’ll be able to go into the water with you! And when you get a new tank with all sorts of cool things instead of it being empty and isolating, we can explore it together!” Water entered into her nose as she spoke, turning around so she was facing Calliope properly. She coughed out the water and gasped for a breath. Despite this, she still smiled with the same excitement that she had spoken with. Calliope was worried for a second, but when Jade breathed three consecutive breaths without coughing or sputtering, her anxiety was lifted.

Jade wrapped her arms around Calliope’s chest, her foot touching Calliope’s tail. Her nose was barely above the water, but she wasn’t too worried. They were still, and the water reflected that. Calliope put her head against Jade’s, also wrapping her arms around the other. The tank she was in mimicked her home’s temperature, but no matter how warm it was supposed to be, she still felt cold. And often, alone. But when Jade was here, when they were so close. How could she feel anything else but warmth and comfort?

“That sounds delightful Jade. I cannot wait.”

#fallen’s writing #homestuck #jade harley #calliope homestuck #dave strider #caliborn homestuck #dirk strider #rose lalonde #jade/calliope #jade x calliope #jade harley x calliope #aquariumstuck #mermaidstuck #merstuck #? #homestuck fic #fanfic #writers on tumblr #rarepair

[legendarydragonperson]

My to F’ing long Ship list that makes my heart go whooosh 🥰 Part. 6

Darcy & Tara

Steve & Eddie

Juliette & Calliope

Lorelei & Luke

Charlie & Nick

Viktor & Sissy

Stede & Ed

Lane & Dave

Elle & Tao

Nancy & Robin

#darcy and tara #elle and tao #nick and charlie #heartopper #steve and eddie #robin and nancy #stranger things #luke x lorelai #lane and dave #the gilmore girls #Juliette & Calliope #first kill #Viktor & Sissy #the umbrella academy #ed x stede #our flag meets death

[quatari]

been doing some requests

#homestuck #homestuck art #hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim #karkat vantas #dave strider #davekat #davesprite #davespritekat #no its actually dave^2spritekat #marvus xoloto #eridan ampora #sollux captor #sollux x eridan #erisol #calliope #jade harley #nepeta leijon #rose lalonde #that was A LOT #my hand hurts #myart

[doomsdaydicecascader]

my problem with postcanon jade was that it said she was a cis girl before fusing with bec. i took it as the same "true in a transmisogynist way" troll as transmasc roxy

like, truly, i miss transfeminine roxy every day, and my house is fairly glass when it comes to things here considering i'm writing The Butch Lesbian Jane Comic, but like. the way homestuck fans exert ownership over the text of homestuck is fundamentally what the homestuck epilogues and post-canon are about. act 7 is about the dead calliope saying "fuck canon" and making her own, and she does not know how to care for the characters in question. i genuinely believe reconciling these facts, that what homestuck wants to be and what fans want homestuck to be are tangibly, ideologically opposed, is what post-canon is about

"fans read this character as X identity" is fine and good but that's paratext at best, and making demands of a text that has no obligation to respect them at worst. the epilogues are cashing in that desire to not respect them. homestuck has always been shaking off its readers who exert too much ownership, feel too comfortable with it. this goes way back as far as act 5 act 2 - the author commentary describes switching between walkaround sprites and hussnasty mode in such close proximity as a means of saying "if you always get what you expect, you will become complacent and that's no way for a reader to be", the "come in, go away" routine of homestuck is so repetitive now that i'm surprised basically nobody's caught on - homestuck is always doing insane flips to try and shake people off of it.

and now homestuck is doing that with your headcanons. like, this is a thing i see genuinely, all the fucking time in fandom over the past 15 years or so, people hype themselves up on paratexts and pretend the paratext is the source. the worst i ever saw of it was people having full blown self-harm threatening panic attacks because klance was not endgame in voltron legendary defenders. genuinely, i remember this so well - i think there were still two more seasons of the show after that event too, but i didn't watch it.

i only looked on from afar because what i saw of season 1 wasn't especially novel. castiel was never gay, no matter how many times he was caught leaking omegamusk in walmart or whatever, i'm stealing valor with this joke i was never a superwholock omegaverse girlie. there's so many fandoms i'm not a part of, it's unreal.

anyway, my point is people get really invested in their reads on characters and pretend it's real for the same reason a normie's sports team is gonna go the distance this season. and when they don't, they riot. this is literally just sports fandom 101. we may as well be talking about fucking inflategate here. i also don't go to sports. it's basically just homestuck for me these days.

i imagine this is what it's like to run my little pony before bronies came along: the show was negligible in relevance beyond its capacity to show off the new toys to play with. but the difference is that my little pony is about the toys, it's about encouraging that kind of play, it's fundamentally a set of toys they made a show about, as opposed to homestuck, which was always niche art for webcomics weirdos that caught on, quite literally, with the brony audience. i remember the first time i ever saw dave strider was on fucking ponychan, chronologically it would have been mid-act 5 act 2. it was an image of dave ransacking the lohac stock exchange, which is an a5a2 thing, it was before season 2 started, etc etc.

this is one hell of a tangent to say as far as the text of mspaintadventures is concerned, problem sleuth characters have gender signifiers that are more similar in nature to drag and performance of gender roles than any actual sexual dimorphism. homestuck characters are built atop the gender expression of problem sleuth. jade was a 13/16-year old girl, and that's the only information there was. over time, this changed.

this was an explicit change, too - it's in the change to act 6, passing through the fourth wall, that these characters, who fundamentally are game pieces, that homestuck starts to contend with the fact that people are emotionally invested in them as people. people don't like dave or vriska in the same way that people care about problem sleuth or nervous broad, and this comes out in the text. we get a lot of the best stuff in homestuck out of that change, too, like. the retcon only works because of that emotional investment, and i go so hard for the retcon. the retcon is the coolest thing ever.

and with that change, now, in 2024, she is explicitly a 39 (? i think she's 39.) year old woman with a penis. she didn't go from "cis woman" to "trans woman", she went from game piece to human person. there is no "cis jade" to be overwritten. you're assuming a "cis is default" worldview of a team of transgender and/or nonbinary people and thats just like. its not ideal, really

#really letting these posts get away from me here. #i write really nonlinearly and got distracted to go post resources on the mspfa discord so if theres a sentence fragment in there: idgaf

[rockkal]

HOMESTUCK BEYOND CANON NEXT UPD8(s) PREDICTIONS (I'm delusional, btw) /SHITPOST

We get to see Jack Noir be a pathetic little meow meow and has depression because he's too busy working at the mine coal to see his wife

The Felt come into the screen, also somehow snowman, and they all say "We voted for Obama" (this is very important homestuck lore, btw)

Brand new character called HEROIN ADDICT is introduced. Son of Karkat and Dave. Has a brother named John Egbert Strider Vantas

Clover flirts with Jane and gets sent to the weed dungeon. And not like the good weed. I mean like the weed that really feels like shit

Jake becomes new leader of the Felt and Crowbar becomes his dad (Crowbar dad AU, write that down, it'll be on the test)

We get to see Death, the character, talk with ULT Dirk and he brang along the Midnight Crew, Mom Lalonde B1 and Dad egbert because he thinks they're cool (also, Mom Lalonde and Dad Egbert kiss a lot in death's office and have tea and buscuits with the Midnight Crew)

CALIBORN COMES FOR A SINGLE PANEL AND MAKES JUNE OFFICIALLY TRANS! BECAUSE HE HATES JUNE AND HE HATES WOMEN SO HE COMBINES THE TWO THINGS HE HATES INTO ONE (this is a joke, btw. I honestly want June's transitioning to be more in character then just the gremlin guy I like does it for me)

Ms Paint. becomes narrator of both Candy and Meat and it's just a podcast about different types of paint

Something related to The Midnight Crew's creator, Professor Mayasaka or however the fuck ya spell it, something translated into midnight. Whatever. I just wanna see the professor man come in and do something

JANE REVIVES AIMLESS RENEGADE SOMEHOW AND HE GOES GOD TIER! (His Classpect is Mage of Blood because I say so)

Sollux and Eridan kissing

B

Roxy breaks the fourth wall and says "it's Roxy Lalonding time" and Roxy Lalondes all over the place

A bucket appears and yeah

We see Andrew Hussie in a bath robe

Terezi manages to give back the legal rights to Beyond Canon back to their creators (sorry, I forgot your name, mister cool homestuck guy. I forget easily :'(]

Vriska dies. (I hate Vriska! (In a Kismesis way))

Equius comes back to say "I require horse" and then he gets prototyped with the universe frog

Matchsticks gets a personality and we learn he wants to become an actual fire fighter and save people since he was a kid

Stitch becomes hella cool by partnering with Kanaya to beat the shit out of Dirk

Rose just stays Rose because I forgot she existed

21 again but with Dave

June Egbert gets two new dads and they're Eggs and Biscuits from The Felt because it reminds her of her dead dad's cakes

Diamonds Droogs/Draconian Dignitary x Dad Crocker 20 hour oiled up make out session flash animation

Calliope has a child with Roxy. (comment what ya think they would be called)

Dirk eats a baby (it's John Egbert Strider Vantas)

AR gets to have a robo body and becomes friends with AR and Aradia and also Aranea is there to keep them in check and they call eachother the "AR squad", but Aranea is the out cast because she is blue

Eden Gardner (homestuck OC of @springselkie) gets a mention.

Monkeys become relevant to the plot

Jack Noir gets to show us his stabs

Bold Eagles are Aimless Renegade's second power, because he's the only AMERUCAN character in homestuck

Jake gets a beard and celebrates by showing us his level 100 GYAT

What Pumpkin office remains is an important location in the story

Mommy Condie comes back and marries Earth C's version of Colonel sassacres

Freddy Fazber, new character, literally the best. Hor hor hor hor.

Something related to drugs, I guess (I'm running out of ideas)

Fortnite becomes canon and everyone loves it

Deltarune reference

Jack Noir eats money and becomes lamborghini

Jack Noir villain arc where he and June kiss (their kismesis, it's ok. They want to kill eachother)

Rose's wifi is STILL shitty! COME ON, IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS, FIX YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION, GURL!

Kanaya gets to make something Lord English related

We see Doc Scratch because he's awesome

Wayward Vagabond comes back from the grave and does ANOTHER revolution against monerchy. He is truly the best diplomat.

MLP gets mentioned

Problem Sleuth shows up for 5 panels and then dies

Nepeta gets to kill Pickle Inspector

Eridan smokes weed

[S] Terezi: Do the mackarena

Weed chapter

Karkat gets a period cramp

Something something Lord English in black void, becomes normal Caliborn, being room mates with Equius, Gamzee and AR (auto-responder)

Free Bird fight sequence

Joe Biden gets a mention because he was probably in office before the clown fuckers took over D.C. Washington

Cockaine chapter

MSPA reader gets hella blazed and yeah

Caliborn kisses a rule 63 version of a Miku body pillow

Pic Yaoi sequence or smth

Sawbuck stays a fat fuck and eats the earth at the end

Itchy dies from tripping on a rock

Doze unslows himself and does a break dance

Trace and Fin make out session

Quarters gets to shoot ULT Dirk and is declared a war veteran

Bog from RHG shows up to eat a chocolate bar

I'm high

Ok, that was the end of this dumb shitpost. Hope ya got a kick out of it. Or not.

Wait

Shit

I should probably add an image so that I could look cool

Give me a sec

Yes, God of Yaoi.

Perfect for this.

See ya

#homestuck #the felt #roxy lalonde #rose lalonde #june egbert #john egbert #Dave Strider #Karkat Vantas #Stitch #Bog RHG #kanaya maryam #dirk strider #Jake English #Itchy #Doze #Cans #Quarters #Trace #Fin #Clover #Andrew Hussie #Lord English #Doc Scratch #ms paint #terezi pyrope #homestuck beyond canon #Shitpost #Caliborn #Caliborn is hater of women but hugest supporter of trans people #equius zahhak

[mmmmalo]

Rambling

Since turbans act as an orientalist motif in Homestuck, I thought I might try scanning for hijabs as well. "The Veil" was the first suspect, but textual support did not immediately materialize. At least not in the form of wordplay -- it's mildly suspect that the game's cloning equipment is within the Veil, since the first lab we see is associated with Mom, but since the meteors in turn become the sperm impregnating Skaia/the Earth, I'm hesitant to commit to the gendering. Maybe one of those "size of your mom's dick" kind of moments? Shrug

"Curtain" was the next search term -- apparently the word hijab originally described a curtain separating Muhammad's main house from the wives' quarters, for modesty. Presuming euphemism, it becomes interesting that Karkat (who I tend to read as Alternia's only Female) is determinedly buried behind thick curtains at the beginning of Meat, as though they were part of his feminine repertoire of hysteric fits and romcoms -- all the more so because Dave reasons it would probably be fine to throw stones in a glass house if curtains were up, insofar as stoning-as-execution is still proscribed under some interpretations of Islamic law. Going back to the Veil, this would imply the meteor strikes are framed as a planetary stoning? Which in turn brings about the mummy-shrouded Exiles, wandering the sand dunes. Unexpectedly tidy, if we permit that the narrative's need to denigrate the Terrorist overrides any strict gendering

Other instances of curtain don't scan as readily... the various "pay no attention to the X behind the curtain" Wizard of Oz jokes seem ripe for misuse, but nothing stands out... Jane's comment on the "right" side of curtain being the side where everyone can see you... it rings as passive aggressive in light of the Islamophobic superstructure, but unlike with Dave I can't identify a complementary signifier to affirm the superstructure's applicability. Mildly annoying. But if you /assume/ its applicability, gently coaxing Calliope out from behind the curtain and encouraging her to be herself likewise comes across as somewhat passive-aggressive, I suppose

All that stuff about Roxy's Void-based unknowability from the Epilogues had struck me a sexist mystification, but the association with veils of darkness gives the misogyny a certain orientalist flavor... and if that holds, Roxy's earlier blackout powers fall under the same banner...? I don't recall anything objectionable in the discussion of them though... If Doc Scratch's head is a turban, I suppose the grimdark blackout becomes Rose's veil, adding to the sense of assault that came with Scratch "smothering her with surprise noodles" (eroticizing the question mark).

The cue-ball/turban is also light, of course, and the matter of Karkat blocking out the light contributes to his feminine framing... though I suppose the same could be said of the Strider's sunglasses? "Those rare, intimate moments that Jake was allowed to slip off Dirk’s shades and look upon his face, unobstructed" might be leaning into the erotics of removing a lady's veil... as well as the general mystique built up around Strider Eye Moments. The artifact of Stoic Masculinity doubles as an artifact of Islamic Femininity. Textual affirmation in the form of puns isn't really forth coming, but the matter AR wanting to get out of the shades might have an undertone of cultural condescension akin to Callie and the curtain... especially since as "anime shades" that "literally only the Japanese could consider to embody the Platonic ideal of 'cool,'" the sunglasses are explicitly linked to the Orient

#homestuck commentary #east mapping

[shipstucks]

Hello hi !! Im ikna :D you might know me for my main blog iknaenmal

I have seen many many blogs like these so i thought it could be fun to make one too !! Its basically a blog where you can request any rarepairs or sexuality headcanons or all that stuff ! Non rarepair ships are also allowed :] I promise i will try to um. ACTUALLY set a consistent queue of one drawing a day or something. Maybe. I hope

But yeah !! Anything is allowed except. You know. Clearly problematic ships :/ have fun !!

INBOX:

-transfem tavros <3 transneu equius

-dologlare

-vriskat, both transfem

-pornea

-junejasprosemary

-transmasc vriska <> june

-transmasc nepeta <3 transfem dirk

-damara <> dirk

-dyke it/its haudenosaunee dave and calliope

-transmasc nonbinary lesbian tavros <> pansexual transfem nonbinary aradia

-janedave w plus sized jane

-transfem t4t erikar

-transmasc t4t equikat

-rufioh x aranea

-t4t transmasc fefeta <3 karkat

-joeymet

-pale davejade with nb jade

-transmasc nepeta <3 transfem agender sollux

-pale scourge sisters

-humanstuck junenep

-john<3dirk<>terezi

-pale davegamtav

-flushed soljane

-janecallie

-eridan<>rose<>june

-dirkuu

-pale solkat

-pitch araroxy

-pale vrisdirk

-pitch soldirk

-kankri <3 mituna

-karkat <3< feferi

-junedavenepkat

-jaderoxy

-davenep

-davesprite x jake

-vrisrose

-arasol

-mitula

-pitch erifef

-WV and AR

-gamkar

-davenep but dave is a girl and nepeta is a guy

-vrisnep

-dirkkri

-transmasc jane and transfem kanaya

-juneroxy

-equisol with bigender sollux and nonbinary equius

-pale rosekat

-joey <3 xefros

-signless <3 disciple

-pitch johnrezi

-flushed vrisjohn

-davekarezi

-pale jade and kanaya

-pale erivris

-tavfef

-dirkrezi

-short nonbinary/catgender nepeta with tall transfem roxy

-cronkri

-transfem eridan/roxy

-pale erikat

-dirkkri

QUEUE:

-erikar

-t4t transfem junevris

[hydrate-or-diedrate]

Day 21 of homestuck reading wahoo wahaa yippee

Karkat and Kanaya have to see Echidna again yaaaay

Aw sweet 8ball

THAT IS THE DUMBETS GUN I HAVE EVER SEEN EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER

THE LONGEST BARREL FUCKIN AGDKHDHDKDJ

"My ghost is 8eing a

FUCKING LOSER!!!!!!!!"

Bye bye stage

Uh oh

BYE BYE CALLIOPE AND CO. OH SHIT

aw beans now we got Jasprosesprite²

CALLIOPE WHY ARE YOU RED

Don't just leave her there!

Hi Roxy

Snake Noises

Hehe protect babby Karakat

Bonk

JASPROSESPRITE IS RIGHT CALLIOPE IS A BEAUYIFUL CREATURE

Agsjdghdjd poor Rose

"How's that sound cookietits, does it tickle your toebeans?? :3" Oh my god

We haven't gotten to see Dave and Dirk chat yet comonnnn

Oh my gosh they're so awkward

STFU terezi have you even looked at a skull? They're so detailed and pretty

I'm on page 7684 and everything online says homestuck is "over 8000 pages" does that mean I'm getting close to the end? 🥺 it's exciting to be getting close to the end (of the first one anyway) but I also don't want the experience to be over, y'know? X)

They fuckin JUST got together and you're already giving Meenah and Dead Vriska #36488377 relationship problems >:/

Roxy Callie bonding timeeee

egg :)

JANE AND NANNASPRITE INTERACTION???

Dirk and Dave are so painfully awkward agh

Dave is finally realizing that he didn't like his brother much and I respect that but why must you project that onto child dirk

Awww they hugged :.)

I love Kanaya so much she's so damn funny

EGG

Awww Kanaya is crying she's so happy I love her so much

#breadstuck

[dragongirldg]

Hellooo there how are you

anyways if you want you can use this post to infodump on whatever you want

Info dumping huh? Well then.

I have been the biggest fan of this one ship for as long as I remember. Back in high school, I developed an interest in Homestuck. I obsessed over John Egbert specifically.

As I read fanfiction and looked at fanart, no ship sparked. I didn’t really care. I would read and yeah it’s cute and blah blah blah not my OTP.

Then the worst thing could have happened.

I looked at a crack ship and then I was fxcked. The more I thought about it, the more I loved it. Karkat who? Dave who? Dirk who? Sollex and Eridan who? Literally everyone that’s a common ship WHO?

It didn’t stick with me.

Want to know what stuck?

Caliborn.

I had this idea of Calliope getting to John first and then breaking up for one reason or another.

Then Caliborn and John date or live together for other reasons.

Calliope doesn’t really come into the equation anymore or show up in my daydreams.

I don’t why, but I thought it was adorable if John just got bothered by Caliborn at every turn. They’d bother and fight and just it was cute how much they antagonized.

Then I started developing my trans Headcanon and June eventually makes her first appearance without her being June. It’s only recently (late 2022? - 2023) that I heard the name June and went from there.

I would draw and write fanfiction after fanfiction adding and subtracting details.

June stays 8ft tall and Caliborn is slightly shorter by a few feet or inches.

Caliborn gets rid of the half shaved hair look for short curly hair.

I couldn’t stop doodling John all over my school work to the point my science teacher recognized him when I gave her a little quiz. She had a bearded dragon in the classroom and I loved holding them during class :3

(Don’t ask about the things I did in highschool)

I had a ton of ideas and a lot of them were problematic tbh so I’m still curving them out of my head for far better ideas.

No matter what fandom I became a part of John/ June x Caliborn never left me. I didn’t want to really read fics anymore since no one writes my ship.

Does anyone actually do pixies and Crocker and Harley and Egbert family dynamics? Do they ever have them interacting like a big extended family?

If I had the urge, I’d write my AU ideas more. (I’m kinda stuck at the moment, work burns me out to much and too often that I don’t have motivation to get through the one? Shot I have)

I am going to attempt to redraw this political romance fancomic I drew a long time ago to update it with my newest version of John/ June. That means she will be June. If I could find the notebooks I had.

With my inability to write I’m stuck with lackluster chapters and get nothing done. I need some form of energy boost for my creativity. It’s at an all time low at the moment, being used for other fandoms.

Like this Transformers AU that got me in a chokehold.

Optimom AU (I have a whole blog on it if you want to send asks and stuff)

Optimus becomes the mother of Soundwave, Sari, and Bumblebee. The seeker teens think of Optimus as their mother and there are like 9 of them. Not to mention the others that kind of sees Optimus as a mother figure.

Basically Found Family Trope :3

It’s more complicated than that and I have several fanfics and fanart (which is now found in the Blog)

The messy Age thing with Sari, it’s because I plan of having her die at some point (trauma) and I can’t in good conscience do that to a 3-5 year old (it’s by electrocution).

Yeah it’s messed up, but the world of Transformers is equally if not more messed up and morally grey :3

At least Ariel (Black Arachnia) and Sari get to become extensions of Unicron and Primus!

Sentinel redemption and Ultra Magnus retiring to become Optimus’ father.

There’s a lot to the AU I’m not going in to in this post but yeah!!! That’s it!!!

Honestly I could go on, but then the post will never end.

#cute #homestuck #junecal #caljune #caliborn #June egbert #John egbert #calliope #transformers #transformers animated #Optimom Au #au #fanart #fanfiction #otp

[davekat-sucks]

I voted Davekat because the thought of these two dudes antagonizing each other in a rivalry-esc, romantic fashion was hilarious. Everyone lookin' at 'em and thinking, "what the hell is the deal with these circus geeks????" type of way. CaliRox just doesn't have the same appeal to me unfortunately! They seem like a healthy couple tho and it's sweet that Cali's insecurity never stopped her from dating best girl Roxy. go Cali!

I purposely used the panel of Dave and Karkat fighting to show off the blackrom for that reason. Fuck that laundry kiss scene in Homestuck^2. I just want them to rag on each other and silly childish BLUH slap fight. Not feel sad about doing nothing and continue to do nothing. I would argue that Calliope never does much to earn anything and just plays the victim, so that everyone could give her what she wants on a silver platter. At least Caliborn is able to do shit. He makes his own dumb mistakes, but at least he keeps on trying. But to each their own on what they think of Calliope. It's a good thing Epilogues and Homestuck^2 were never canon or I would have bitched about one of her other selves controlling Jade's body.

#Davekat #Dave x Karkat #DaveKar #KarDave #KatDave #Calliope #HS Calliope #Homestuck #Dave Strider #Karkat Vantas

[prospitsdream]

sorry if these arent actually rare theubjust are in my braind

#homestuck #fefvris #im not tagging allat #ships #i guess #mriauuuuuu

[terepi]

ok

this is just 4 funises i wanted 2 do more sillay polls. whichever wins will get a drawing or something idfk

#homestuck #davekarezi #vrisrosekan #jadenep #wvpmar #snowslickpaint #calliroxygen #equidan #dave strider #karkat vantas #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #jade harley #nepeta leijon #wayward vagabond #peregrine mendicant #aimless renegade #calliope #roxy lalonde #june egbert #sn0wman #spades slick #ms. paint #equius zahhak #eridan ampora #kitty.txt

[red-elric]

OKAY kicking off classpect talks with some thoughts about KNIGHTS :) not gonna have much structure to this but if u want me to talk about a specific class or aspect all u gotta do is ask!!

anyway I think ppl are pretty wrong about knights for the most part. sorry :/ I see knights listed as active a LOT, especially when they're paired w pages as an active/passive pair; while I DO agree that knights and pages are a pair, I really truly think knights are the passive one! the way calliope talks about active vs passive to ME feels like its mostly about who the powers benefit. thieves and rogues are really clear cut for that; thieves can steal x for THEMSELVES (vriska stealing her opponents' luck (light) so she can make more powerful attacks) while rogues can only really steal x for OTHERS (roxy only being able to create generic objects and pumpkins (basically worthless lol) until she was motivated to create the matriorb to help kanaya). and when seen from that lens, looking at knights and pages, we have the class who is constantly portrayed as someone who fights to defend and protect OTHERS and the class who trains and levels up massive power for THEMSELVES. which seems p clear cut to me!

beyond that, ive been considering a division of the classes on a second axis..... got the idea from another post somewhere to consider 'creative' and 'destructive' classes as seperate, but while that post was trying to imply the existence of a bunch of other classes to fill out the destructive side iiiii kinda think we can split the ones we have already w some finagling? knights/pages arent SUPER far on the destructive end of the scale but I think when u consider the dual meanings we get from princes/bards of destroys x/uses x to destroy u can make it work; knights and pages most literally use their aspect as a weapon, which is a form of destruction. which categorizes knights as passive/destructive overall (in my mind sharing that category w bards and rogues)

some knight specific stuff....... we get themes of defense, protection, and service here, as well as inaction without a cause; dave in particular is really prone to only taking action if he has to or is told to, but I think karkat ends up in that position as well, even if it's only because of paradox space inevitability. they also seem to focus more on the importance of fighting over other aspects of the game, and I think I can safely say they tend to be really good at fighting WITHOUT relying on powers. uhh a knight in a session would indicate smth (their aspect, in some way) needs to be protected and/or precisely destroyed (liiiike think pruning or trimming, just a LITTLE destruction) for a successful session; dave -> lots of timeline shenannigans to be careful of, karkat -> lots of interpersonal problems to be careful of, latula -> lots of players' choices to be careful of.

tangential maybe but when considering classpecting, I think I like the approach of determining a class first (type of role you would play in a session........ feels v personality based more so than aspect is) -> considering the narrative beats in ur potential session (or, if u wanna go abstract, in ur real life somehow?) -> choose an aspect based on the way your class interplays w the narrative beats. so if ur prone to solving problems for other ppl, think most problems can be solved through conflict, and tend to not stick up for yourself as much, u might be a knight!

#it me #homestuck #classpects #would love to discuss this kinda thing w ppl if yall have other thoughts! #just maybe not 'actually ur 100% wrong and I hate u' hahahaha