#damn right! she was always this way

[puppyeared]

Pokeymon

@ask-willowleafeon @ask-shiny-umbreon

#fuckkkk pokeask nostalgia got me by the throat. I can’t do this again Im not strong enough (does it anyway) #drawing eeveelutions is always fun Theyre so shaped. theyre up there on fav pokemon to draw right next to dratini. and maybe shinx #these two stick out to me in my mind just cause like. their designs are so good it kind of squishes my brain the right ways #I never got to draw Percy for an ask or anything but he is. very creature #and willow of course I have a soft spot for. shes so sweet and gentle uuhghhgghhhh I love her #fuck dude .maybe I will come back adhd be damned. I dont fuckin know. really tempting rn #I tell myself that but deep down I know I suck at roleplay. but maybe I’ll do it. but I suck at roleplay. etc #btw leafeon should be allowed to be autumn coloured without being shiny. it would fix me. I just want Some Guy dressed like a maple leaf #without the awe of being a 1/1000 chance. I don’t CAREEEEE gimme the crunchy red leaveeeesss #I also wanna draw Gardevoir with a barn owl face. and leafeon with seaweed leaves #aaahhhhggghhhhh clenches my fists #pokemon #pokemon ask blog #pokeask #others oc #ask-willowleafeon #ask-shiny-umbreon #Percy umbreon #willow leafeon #myart #my art #pokemon oc

[punkeropercyjackson]

Oh so when Nico di Angelo gets a crush on the male protagonist after knowing him for only a short time but falls in love with him despite them being seperated for a whole year and shows up at his bedroom to talk to him because they're friends who're supposed to save the world together and does questionable things but without ill-intentions due to his abusive dad and gets character development from them and the fandom makes nonstop jokes for years about the protag being upset and jealous over him not liking him anymore and now has switched to saying Nico has a thing for blondes because of the show adaption,he's a childhood icon and super relatable and 'gender' and the best gay guy rep ever but when Gwen Stacy does literally the same thing and has a single ooc moment of jealousy and posessiveness over another female character who she hasn't actually treated badly herself and has yet to have a defining relathionship with her in canon since there's still a third movie for us to see it,she's one of the worst written characters ever and anti-feminist and 'racist' and dosen't count as trans girl rep🤨?

#SEE THIS IS THE KINDA SHIT I'M ALWAYS SAYING!!!!!!!YOU NIGGAS HATE QUEER WOMEN SO MUCH YOU INSIST QUEER MEN ARE INHERENTLY PERFECT #nico and gwen are the same damn character it's so infuriating that nico is everybody's favorite but gwen gets treated like she's a monster #if she was a lil blonde white boy you'd be all over her and erasing hobie/punkflower instead like no tommorow and defending george way more #percy never even liked nico she literally sees him as a little brother and even her son.i said 'she' on purpose fuck y'all she's trans too #and i have a right to say gwen's not misogynistic as a black woman-that margo scene made no sense the WRITERS just don't get teen girls #okay finished.queer woman supremacy is the point #nico di angelo #gwen stacy #pro gwen stacy #percy jackson #miles morales #will solace #solangelo #walker scobell #ghostflower #margo kess #ghostbyte #margo kess deserves better #t4t ghostflowerbyte #nico and percy #siblings!ghost flower #< as an alternative i love all dynamics for them not just romantic #trans gwen stacy #pjo #atsv #spiderman #transmisogyny #androcentrism #💌 #summerposting

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

It’s really funny to me that Alice Isn’t Dead is called that, because when you first listen to it, Alice is very much not the character whose life you worry the most about. Like, Keisha, I am so glad your wife is alive, but I’m more concerned about you right now. A guy literally devoured a dude (not sexually) AND an omelet (also not sexually) right in front of you, and it seems like that doesn’t even make the top 10 worst things that happened to you this month. how are YOU not dead yet?

#alice isn't dead #night vale presents #getting back into alice isn’t dead after years bc i never got around to finishing it and #keisha is so brave and badass but also i just want her to be safe and happy #her decisions are always pretty rational for a horror protagonist but damn if it isn’t a little stressful to hear her make them #whereas a lot of horror is like “let’s go in the spooky basement! surely nothing bad will happen” #keisha’s decisions tend towards #“fuck. i don’t want to go in that basement but i have no other choice left. i can’t turn back and this is the only way forward” #so you just have to sit there going “oh no keisha. don’t go into that basement” while being painfully aware that she can’t do anything else #EXCEPT for walking right into that basement with the determination of a woman who has nothing left to lose except her life

[rexscanonwife]

Grrggh...good morning everypony = w = I rewatched the episode of the ppg reboot where Utonium gets a girlfriend...

#jane journals #self insert talk #🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬 #i woke up at 5 in the gah damn morning and MY HEADPHONES are gone so im gonna have to ride the bus w/o them >:[ #hell on earth 10 dead 4 missing!!! #and i choose to do this before i go ajfjg #anyways this sucks #like im not bothered by love interests but this whole reboot is ass and the characters are badly written #but theres like....at least one or two cute moments where utonium is smooth with it >//< #it cant even get the FIRST THING RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO #in literally THE FIRST EPISODE he says that spiders creep him out and they basically just. not even ignore but contradict it entirely #for why? the purpose of this ep where the love interest studies spiders and turns into one ig #they could say that hes PRETENDING to like them because he likes her. but they didnt do that #ALSO why spider? why not werewolf? that would be hot #and the love interest is that bland brand of 'adorkable' thats so disingenuous #on the other hand i DO like spiders. and the way she talks to one and like treats it like a pet...yeah id do that ._. #and idk they always write utonium as way more harsh than he'd usually be especially with bubbles #he wouldnt tell her shes being SELFISH by not wanting to give away her last piece of popcorn to a spider #especially when she barely got any #maybe he'd remind her that its GOOD to be generous BUT NOT CALL HER SELFISH #but yeah....theres maybe a moment or two 😒 #like when his love interest spoils a whole MOVIE for the girls and ofc theyre upset #but he holds her face and says 'everything i need to see is right here'...>//< #THAT was smooth #and idk they don't play with the idea of the girls wanting to break them up ENOUGH #they just write one fake email and its done. then spider reveal #it sucks maybe i shouldnt have started my day this way 😂😂😂 #whatever hopefully work is good!! #and i always have og utoniom to think about 🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘

[keii]

I still can't believe how much more appealing Yoosung is in everyone else's route besides his own LOL. Tho' one thing remains is that no matter what, Yoosung really is a ride or die for mc. Like... he will NOT care if he gets the shit beaten out of him if it's for mc's sake, he will do crime and trust that it's for a good reason (and that Seven and Jumin would bail him out LMAO). Even tho' he's a crybaby, he will let anyone know EXACTLY how he feels, doesn't care if everyone doesn't agree. He's extremely loyal, honest, and open to whatever if that means it would make mc happy. His innocent nature allows others to let their guard down around him and pamper him, but deep inside he's obsessive, possessive, and pretty scary-- And so I love him.

#don't mind me just thinking about yoosung again... as always #ALSO despite being the jealous type he's not NEARLY as big of a hater that zen is LMFAOOO #LIKE AT ANY CHANCE ZEN WILL TRY AND TAKE MC AWAY FROM YOOSUNG IF HE COULD #Zen putting Yoosung down and say that if mc wants a man then Zen would be better... BITCH!!! LEAVE MY BABY ALONE!!! #i got a HC that MC and Yoosung double team to try and convince Jumin to be their sugar daddy #I'm sure that they'd be able to persuade him-- like... jumin seems like the type of guy that would be open to dressing up a cute couple #and watching LMFASDFASD #just gotta push the right buttons to get that out of jumin #i mean he already said he likes yoosung types bc of the way yoosung is LOL #V said that he thinks yoosung is appealing too and yoosung absolutely hates that shit LMFAOO #i think the only person that isn't into yoosung is jaehee LMFAOO but that makes sense bc she sees him as a baby.. which.. yes he is LOL #anyway i say all of that but yoosung is treated like SHIT by cheritz LMFAOO THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM #not as nearly enough as other characters HAHA #him and jaehee received the shit treatment AHAHA #anyway i was just looking at my old mm screenshots and forgetting specific chatrooms #made me laugh out loud bc of how fucking funny it was #i miss it... damn it cheritz... #x #shrekeii #bummie

[mayasdeluca]

#get them maya

#maya bishop #robert sullivan #chief ross #station 19 #station19edit #station 19 spoilers #mine #i think its funny that sullivan/surrera fans are giving maya such crap for this on twitter #as if this isn't sullivan's MO all the time #like maya had tried to do it the right way...had to wait almost a whole damn year for an actual answer #she gets lied to by sullivan about his actual connections to the chief #gets shrugged off by the chief and barely noticed by her only to then have one convo with her that lasted 2 minutes in public #like she literally has no other option at this point i don't blame her for reaching her breaking point #am i thrilled with her doing what sullivan does to everyone? not really but its clearly a difference circumstance #they deserve this at this point tbh #team maya always

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.

#hc; kaeya #//Mentioned before; but am Elaborating on other aspects since Aven get brain juices flowing for this #//Unlike Aven; he's FAR more tolerable of people who touch him unprompted. & more willing to indulge for himself outside his comfort people #//Unless he himself had actively given the indication he doesn't want it; in that case THEN he's likely to anger & retaliate #//But yeah; his response is usually Discomfort & trying to get away from it one way or another. Can tolerate it to appear friendly; sure #//But would rather not want people to touch him so easily. Is decently okay with brief touches tho; like shoulder pats or the like #//Will actively lean into it & encourage further touching ONLY as a means to an end; adjusting any wandering hands only when going too far #//Esp if he can use that like a carrot on a string–if they concede to what he wants; they can touch him more. Maybe MORE than just that too #//He won't initiate any touch unless he deems it Absolutely Necessary; WILL internally scream if they Immediately reciprocate the contact #//Uses it as a 'reward' sometimes; a little pinch of the cheek; a hug; getting right into their space; if he sees they'll react favorably #//Maybe more if they have connection enough; like Huffman or one of his longer-running liaisons. Is p ok w/ sleeping w/ them as reward #//Sometimes he forgets some people don't like that he does this; like Rosie. Tries the tactic to get a favor then Remembers #//Absolutely apologizes; feels mortified when she scrutinizes him for it. Esp since she'd be one of few ppl who KNOWS just how Averse he is #to it in the first place. Him slipping up like that in front of HER is smth he'd STRESS over. She could hold over his head for all he knows #//How can he even joke abt it? Worse if she asks abt his way of doing things or indicate she doesnt Like that he uses himself as bait #//Has absolutely accidentally tried to seduce/bait sb like that who he absolutely should Not have. Like Jean. Ended up playing it off like #a joke between friends; but damn near had a panic attack from the guilt the moment he was safely in his office. bc Jean is SPECIAL to him #could he treat her like THAT? How could he almost let her SEE that side of him? His casual charm and facade are ONE thing #//But him actively doing something like THAT; esp for Jean of all people; is COMPLETELY off-limits; no matter his feelings #//Actually; especially BC he harbors feelings for her. Ppl like Lisa on the other hand; he is VERY comfortable doing this with/to #//She GETS the flirty habit & dishes it back without losing image of him in the way someone he regards at Jean's level possibly could #//And as far as Lisa knows; it's Only a playful habit; not a means to an end. The ones who prolly Know might be certain folks in the church #//But that's just bc he gets frequent checkups after every lil Rendezvous of his. Which is why he's got dirt on Every Single Person There #//Except Barbara; but he absolutely makes SURE she's not the one he's dealing with whenever he goes. Wants to spare her his messes #//Damn; veered a little but it's alright. 'A little'; HA. Nah; my tags are but the cluttered corkboard of my thoughts jhdbfjdf #//Diluc; Addie & Jean are the people he most Fears finding out abt his methods. Doesnt wanna THINK abt how they'd feel/regard him after tha #//Knows for SURE it'd be painful if the way they treat him changes even a SLIGHT. ESP Addie; he can bear the other two; but Addie??? #//Nah; he'd be fucken DEVASTATED. That's the ONE person he knows hold true unwavering unconditional love for him; no matter what #//To do anything to damage that? He'd be so fucken GUTTED. He expects everyone to get fed up with/disdain him at some point. But not HER #//Keeps this shit on the down low by always having dirt on the people he gets Involved with; if not using keeping it up as an incentive

[widevibratobitch]

.

#havent really been active on tumblr the last few days but now i came back to post another vent and fuck off again lol hiiiiii #i havent cried in way too long. ngl sobbing hysterically in your bed does hit different lol #anyway. what a great time to remind myself of every single bad thing anyone has ever said about my body and my face <3 #anyway i finished the sobbing till i cant breathe session and now my one eye hurts like there's sth stuck in it but there's nothing #but while i was digging in it trying to find sth under my eyelid that could explain the pain i really really looked at it #my friend once said my eyes are the colour of a swamp and by god she was right. #and like damn. i was never insecure about my eyes but maybe i should add that to the list. #but like whatever. like obv im not gonna start being actually insecure about mu stupid eyes but it did hit me that there is really #not a single thing about my body that i can with all confidence say is nice/pretty/whatever. not a single thing that i genuinely like. #like at best case it's 'not as bad as it could be'. like i have nothing lol. cant even honestly say something as silly as 'i like my eyes' #cause no. they look like a swamp. #idk im just so tired of trying my best all the time and still looking like a rotting leaking bag of garbage. #i try to remind myself that i dress funny and do fun make up and that is what people will notice about me but the truth is #everyone will still always see that under all that bs im just plain ugly and just generally unattractive #and ill never be able to distract anyone from that not really #like ik people who like me dont care about that but thats the thing. #im just tired of being one of the people that will always be liked/loved/whatever 'despite' sth. #like there is nothing of value in me that is NATURAL. its all fucking fake. #anyway. wish i were dead same old same old.

[neo-shitty]

GETO SUGURU.

#i spent the whole hour trying to resist this man but i just couldn’t #i liked him in the manga before he defected but the anime did him so… #AHCK #LOOK AT HIM (moments before disaster) #THE WAY HIS GAZE SOFTENED WHEN RIKO CONFESSED THAT SHE WANTED TO STAY WITH EVERYONE A LITTLE LONGER #HOW SHE WASNT READY FOR ASSIMILATION #JEALOUSY IS A DISEASE #RIKO MOVE THATS MY MAN #i just cant deal with him #he was such…a nice guy #if i knew him irl i’d have a massive crush on him ngl #additionally throughout the show he was always so concerned for satoru #expressing his concern when satoru has been using his technique nonstop whilst guarding amanai #and when haibara asks what treats should he bring home and he answers sweets bc it’s what satoru likes im having a breakdown #he’s so boyfriend #i love him so much it hurts to see how the tiredness in his eyes took over after what happened FUCK YOU TOJI FUSHIGURO #logically i’m not blaming anyone other than toji for what happened but some petty side of me wants to stir fry the shit out of gojo satoru #bc how the fuck did you not notice that geto was slowly losing and YOU CALL YOURSELF A BESTFRIEND YOU B— #im kidding ok might’ve been geto too bc he wasn’t open abt it #also damn yuki for that peptalk bc my poor mentally ill man wasn’t registering shit right #his slow spiral into insanity is one of the best written antagonizations i have ever read/seen and it will forever break my heart #jjk #toff.txt #🎬;jjk

[zoennes]

GELUKKIGE VERJAARDAG, ZOË LOOCKX 𒀭 15 FEBRUARI, 2003

#wtFOCK #Skam #Zoë Loockx #Veerle Dejaeger #Skam Daily #SkamverseDaily #I've made this in one afternoon that's why it looks so... #not good enough for Zoë's 20th birthday #I had so many quotes I wanted to use and scenes I needed to blend together and some didn't look the way I expected and ugh #however... here we have Zoë quotes x what people thought of her x what she thought of herself #when I see the despicable girls mocking her wanting to be 'perfect' x what she was always doing I actually laugh #it's ironic and I love it #mock awayyyyyyy #I'm gonna do like the poet when he had to define love: I'm not going to even try #Zoë is so important to me no writer making her do or say the most ooc thing would ever erase the amount of love I have for her #I love how pure she is #like... her intentions #she's not trying to look cool or do 'the right' thing because she's supposed to do it #she just genuinely cares about people and tries her best to not betray herself #she follows her fucking heart and she pays for it a lot of times but DAMN SHE TRIES #she's so fierce and so passionate and so unaware of how wonderful she is #I miss her like I'd miss a best friend I can't talk to anymore but I do talk to her you know #that's why I keep on writing fics because I hear them so clearly #they just have a lot to say #she's happy #she's not being written by a mad man anymore so things are going well now #and I really need to stop writing here and go to sleep #Zoë Loockx you're no accident #you're inspiring and loving and so so loved by yours truly #happy 20 to the babiest sweetest bestest blorbo I'll ever have

[akkivee]

rambling about the tdd manga because i can lol:

the entire thing sure did reinforce how convoluted chuuoku’s schemes are lol all that just to test run and create the drbs bruh 😭😭😭

the line at the end where ichijiku and otome are discussing how much more poignant the battles are because they brought them together and then forced them to fight is all sorts of fcked up y’all 😭😭😭😭😭😭

anyway from the beginning lol the mic otome uses is a different mic from even just the next chapter, i wonder if it’s just an non-finalized design or an early iteration of the mic???? like rio has a prototype mic and this is not that lmao. aaaaah but rio’s might be military grade prototype and otome has the version rei presumably finalised on his own???? a different version altogether???? hmmm 🤔

nemu is 16 in that first chapter and ichiro is 17 which would mean all the territory disputes, fixes, and mozuku’s plot to usurp mcd took place in a week lol hypmic’s timeline is SHAKY

(the official timeline helps this a little actually lol)

(maybe)

kuukou, swinging red flags from the beginning making fun of ichiro’s mom lol, also fcked around making fun of samatoki’s dead father and found tf out lmao

kuukou is an entire menace in the tdd manga i see why i had a hard time telling myself not to like him when he first showed up lmao

that theory kuukou might have some sort of brain damage wound up slightly reinforced when kuukou remembered sasara reused an old joke when he seemed to have forgotten that sasara is not funny by the time they reunited lmao he has a great memory in the tdd manga

(that joke sasara reused was only in samatoki’s presence too so kuukou also broke some sort of dimensional wall lmao)

speaking of sasara!!!!!!

ikeBOOBkuro????? really????? and then he had that dumbshit d🍆ck joke he made in dod the clowns DO NOT have rights!!!!!!!!!!

lol tho every time i read these early chapters with sasara, aramaki-san’s track 3 sasara always comes to mind lol like mcd sasara was intimidating actually that’s exactly why track 3 sasara is like that 😭😭😭😭😭😭

hmmmm are the special forces or whatever that tried to hijack the hospital jakurai worked at the same as rio’s special forces???? i’ll have to keep that in mind reading bbmtc manga lol

I STILL BELIEVE JAKURAIS WAVE TECHNIQUE WAS THE VERY FIRST ITERATION OF THE HYPNOSIS MIC TECH

still a little pissed mcd vs nb was the first drb in structure and symbolism (forced conflict created by a higher ruling power used to gain/reinforce power by said higher power and wound up entertaining the masses) and yet sasara and kuukou were booted out of the narrative like that

there was a moment where i Almost Almost considered that ramuda had started to consider bringing sasara and kuukou into his plans in chapter 11 based on how pissed he looked after ichijiku told him they brainwashed them. it’s more likely that ramuda’s mad another ‘him’ died more than anything but it’s nice to consider lol

the terrorist scene where nemu and the baby yamada bros got kidnapped is still insane btw

iconic samajuto first(?) meeting lol lemme just handcuff myself to this man who is already listening to me said juto lmao

NEMUS NERVES OF STEEL FR AN OLD MAN THREATENS BODILY HARM TO HER BUT LITERALLY NOBODY IS SCARIER TO HER THAN HER FATHER SO SHE NEVER FLINCHED

JIROS FIRST BETRAYAL ITS NO WONDER HE STARTED ADOPTING SOME OF ICHIROS SELF PRESERVATION LESSONS

THE FACT SABURO BLOCKED NEMU OUT FROM HIS MEMORY SO LIKELY THIS ENTIRE KIDNAPPING????? PLS PROTECT THE CHILDREN HE HAS PTSD YALL AT 11

and what was UP with that orphanage director in the first place???? who do you choose: money grubbing, child labour exploiting for hoes orphanage director or murderous, gets off on torture and sells children for their superiority complex orphanage director

like WTF????

(also: that extra bb tdd chapter is fcked up too you know mozuku only told ichiro about that first director wasting funds because he wanted to replace him with his associate 🤬)

the face nemu makes when samatoki starts kicking her kidnappers while they’re down help 😭😭😭😭😭😭

in the final tdd bonus, they adapted jakurai’s story he told to dohifu during their championship celebration and used that story to show jakurai had already been slowly awakening his ability. so i think it’s incredible smic didn’t suffer from hearing loss after slamming sticks into their eardrums lol maybe that’s where sensei’s ability started forming

kuukou in chapter 9: man check out all these cute girls!!!! 😁

kuukou in the nb drama track: why tf would you pay to talk to women????

(very unrelated instances lol but hilarious out of context tho)

kuukou and sasara going home in the same direction gave them time to talk and get to know each other and i wanna know what their conversations were about soooooo bad bro 😭😭😭😭

mcd/nb break up Did Not Happen I Do Not See It 😑

that moment where samatoki tells nemu ichiro’s kindness is his weakness because he saw ichiro’s breakdown over kuukou leaving him is— it’s kinda— 😭😭😭😭😭😭

yotsutsuji is an unsung mvp in this manga lol look at all the legwork he put in managing territories and finding intel

tdd was the group ramuda made and it was the group he made for himself but it was never his in the first place 😕

but if yotsutsuji never found out ramuda’s secret, or here; if yotsutsuji didn’t manage to send jakurai an email about it, idk if rmjk would have separated???? like what was the plan for jakurai??? ramuda said jakurai was his nirvana so i guess until chuuoku forced it, kp likely would have stayed together huh?? 🤔

ramuda: chuuoku kidnapped your brothers ichiro!!!!!

ichiro: AGAIN?????

me: damn took the words right out of my mouth lmao

samatoki’s beef with ichiro came from the lies they had nemu tell samatoki but like,,,,,,,,,,,, i kinda wanna know how the damage would have shaped if nemu hadn’t been brainwashed and went on her own will,,,,,,,,,,,

like ichiro admitted he likely would have done the same thing as samatoki but that hurt and betrayal at that moment……..????? well ig it’d go the same way in the end lol

chapter 9 had a conversation with rei and otome where rei praises her son for having balls lol so dice was on the run by 18 and making a name for himself lol i need to keep that in mind for a certain few chapters in both fpmtr runs

i thought it was interesting the battle that brought japan under tdd took place in osaka lol

also came out of this experience wondering once again when did ichiro get his hypnosis ability lol like ramuda already had his jakurai’s developed throughout the story, as did samatoki’s on the dl, but ichiro????

also came out of this very concerned for what this story has in store for nemu again lol like the way rhyme anima put focus on what she could possibly do as well as the end of this manga having otome and ichijiku musing her ability and skill might rival ichijiku’s 🤔

ooooooh and that kp bonus chapter!!!!!! ramuda had jakurai suffering under that waterfall lol like he was about to contract hypothermia after a little bit and ramuda ‘reasons’ it’s good training for taking hits without being knocked out SO YOU KNOW WHO REGULARLY TRAINS UNDER WATERFALLS FOR HOURS AT A TIME WITH A FOCUS BASED ABILITY HARAI KUUKOU—

#this is vee speaking #it was a fun time lol always is #samatoki and ichiro’s relationship in those first few chapters cracks me up the same way rio and saburo’s rhyme anima relationship does lol #like both instances rio and samatoki just lay down the law with a smack down and stand up and go ‘here’s some more tools for your success’ #smack down be damned lmao #kinda cried over the nb/mcd break up that didn’t happen this read thru lol #it was just the little things that subtly drove home how important kuukou was to ichiro 😭😭😭 #like that face off with nb&mcd vs mozuku was a fight for ichiro’s freedom like no wonder that hug was Like That kuukou was happy for him #ichiro was glad he was there 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and ichiro was glad kuukou’s steady presence was staying right by him IM WEAK #nemu was such a good big sister figure to jiro and saburo i’m sad nemu didn’t get to befriend the yamadas like she wanted to 😭😭😭 #ik ichiro crying over kuukou was a bit of a reset for samatoki but if anything that should show just how much ichiro would treasure nemu #don’t fight nemu and ichiro getting close samatoki y’all are meant to be one big happy family lmao #and i am not getting over saburo blocking her from memory saburo is not okay!!!!! he’s not!!!!!! #i should analyse saburo’s ability for what it pertains to himself like its name is ‘delete’ and here’s saburo deleting his memories like 😭😭 #anyway plenty more to think about which was the point of this reread lmao #canon’s starting back up in less than two months now’s a good time for it actually 🤔 #c: rapping boys

[tortademaracuya]

I saw a tweet and got reminded I have diagnosed depression. I need to go back in time to tell 12yo me who was weirdly interested in reading and researching about depression that she was so right.

#THE GIRLS WERE SO RIGHT!!!!!!! #like i would read a lot about anything related to anxiety or depression i would eat up any character that behaved in any way like that #i would say it was for 'realism' for my OCs and feel soooo guilty for thinking 'damn thats just like me fr fr' #it wouldnt change anything but it feels relieving to feel like im being taken seriously and i think she would have needed that #it also feels pretty amazing to have friends now that i can trust will understand. or try at least #sorry if lately i mention my depression a lot it just feel super weird to me because i have felt like this for like #as long as ican remember #so havig it acknowledged now is so ??? and i literally cant believe it so i keep mentioning it without thinking #and alsoim tired of always hiding my feelings so im trying to be more honest with everyone #anyways srry rant over #haunted.txt #actually no u know whatineed i need to go backin time and tell mythen friends SEE I WASNT LYING YOU FUCKING BITCHES GET FUCKED

[lisbonsteresa]

spiraling again

#OOOOH it's just #part of her has just been flat out avoiding telling him; having that conversation with him because she doesn't know where it would go #'you know damn well why i couldn't tell you...it's hard' TERESA PLEASE #and part of her might have honestly assumed he DID know - he's always seemed to know everything about everyone; about her #and if she can assume (pretend) that he knows and he's just not bringing it up then he must not really care all that much #he must be ok with the idea of her leaving and that makes her decision just a little bit easier #that takes the burden of having the conversation off her; she doesn't have to worry about what he'd say #because she can pretend she already knows #(which is just crazy but my girl is going through a lot right now i'm more than ok with giving her all of the benefit of the doubt) #and now she's got to deal with the reality that him not knowing adds a massive wrinkle to any of her planning #if she tells him and he says don't go what does she do with that; what does that mean; how does she respond #and on the other hand if he says go....would he really say that; would he just be ok with letting her go after he just got her back #which possibility is better; which is worse; which way is the one she should take when both are terrifying #i'm going just as crazy as the first time send help #tm

[captainshyguy]

me: hm, i cant really look in the tag for ins*mniac verse mil*s yet, since i havent playd spiderm*n 2. lets look in phins instead, since she was in his game, but wont be in 2 :]

the tag: [filled with froathing at he mouth little freaks calling for violence against [checks notes] a 17 year old child character for DARING to "get in the way of mil*s and gw*n" despte the fact that this is an entirely different mil*s from the spid*rverse/c*mic ones, and also phin and mil*s saw each other as brother and sister lol like they call each other family she literally says he's like a brother to her what is wrong with you people]

me:

#GHOULS #ABSOLUTEL GHOULS #oh hw daaaaaaaareeee a black woman have a bit of chemistry with mil*s that some might (wrongfully) inerpret as romantic #how dare she be in pain and greiving and making bad decisions #how dare she not be perfect and always do the right thing #like yes she's clearly making abbsolutely terrible decisions but she just lost her damn brother #after losing her parents a few years ago #like. are u surprised. are u surprised she wanted to hurt the people who did it #are u surprised the 17 year old went about it in the worst way possible. are u surprised she was angry and ruthless and messy? #are u surprised that the kid who had a 'i can do anything if i put my mind to it' mindset stubbornly stuck to her failing and flawed plan? #but nooooo gw*n should beat her up apparently for [checks notes] being friendly and loving mil*s like a brother ok. #SHE DIED. #SHE FACED THE CONSEQUENCES OF HER MESSY ACTIONS #LEAVE HER ALONE OMG #luke rambles

[izzy-b-hands]

I know everyone on here only knew her via my occasional posts about work (back when I worked at the clinic in ND), but I wanted to post a small something about Pam, in honour of her passing today.

Pam had been at the clinic longer than any of us. And she was truly one of those employees that helped keep things running. She knew each doctor (but the MDs in particular, always the pickier and more needy than the ODs) like the back of her hand, in both scheduling requirements and overall likes and hates and needs. At first, she scared the ever-loving fuck out of me. She could be gruff, and occasionally outright mean, though I will always be grateful to her for the kindness she showed me compared to other trainees. Some of that may have come at first because she knew/worked alongside my mum for a few years prior to my being hired, but in time I found out that she simply did like me. Appreciated that I wanted to work hard and be better at everything in my life. Understood that life hadn't necessarily been kind or fair to me or my family and understood that well, because it hadn't been to her either.

Occasionally she'd be gone from work due to her Crohn's, and other chronic issues, and that was only what she'd tell you about. The implication was that, while she overall was quite happy with how things had ended up, there had been a lot of rough shit in between that had toughened Pam up a lot. It made her seem impossible to get to know to some, but I can say it was worth the work. Underneath the shell she'd had to grow to get through, there was a very kind, understanding woman who genuinely wanted the best for those she saw as doing their best in a world that's not easy for anyone to live in, even in the best of times and circumstances.

I admit, we did all encourage less than ideal parts of each other. She smoke too much and drank too much (and during the time in my life when I drank, we overdid it on her favourite long island iced teas more than once during happy hour after work.) But it helped to deal with things as work at the clinic got harder and things changed, unfortunately for the worse both for staff and patients (but I digress on that. The place is still running with Pam and I and many others gone, like any other privately owned rural clinic. When they're one of the few places open for care, they always straggle on no matter what they do to anyone else.) None of the above mentioned changed how fucking hard she worked though, and how she'd put her own job on the line to help out coworkers and patients alike whenever the chance arose.

That said, we helped get each other through the rougher days, and she gave me fantastic life advice in the times in between. Advice that finally helped get me out of ND, in fact, when it became clear that living there was no longer safe. Some of her best bits that I've engraved into my head are: 'there's always another job out there, another place to live, another person to meet that might be a friend to you. Don't let despair override your chance at something better, kinder, or easier. Take the treats that you can in life, whether that's a good drink or a favourite food or outing (she enjoyed the casino herself.) Don't worry too much about overindulging, because the time here is too fucking short anyway for it to matter in the way you think it will. Live your life, and feel it all in full, because it'll go by you faster than you expect.'

So tonight, with Housemate, I'm going to try and take her advice. I'm going to let myself be sad and miss her. I'll let myself be sad that it happened the way it did (barely a few days in hospice, from a cancer that it seems she didn't know about until very near the end. I only hope they had good meds to help her not hurt so much and that they let her have a few drinks and cigarettes if she wanted them.) We'll eat a good dinner, with food and drink that we like, and we'll look to see what we can send for flowers to her funeral (her sisters and nephews, I'm told, are doing their best to set it all up, but aside from that and past coworkers, I don't know if there's much of anyone else left to go to it or send anything. The least I can do to thank her for treating me with kindness and care when others didn't is to send flowers, I think.)

And I'll have a little, non-alcoholic, toast to her life and memory. May her memory be a blessing, and may whatever there is after this life be kind to Pam. She deserves that and more.

#text post #long post #she'd take the everloving piss out of me for this write up funny enough #too emotional and sad and focused on her #because she'd always drift focus away from her if she could #but damn it pam you deserve an emotional write up because even on the days we butted heads I was still grateful to have you around #and it doesn't feel real that you should be gone in a matter of days with all of us barely getting a chance to find out what was happening #but that's the way I imagine she wanted it and that was her right in the end of her life to have it exactly as she wanted #just like how she'd insist on them adding extra shots to her long island iced teas lol

[kuhatoarchive]

tifa jumps off the train first btw. always, always.

#it's not about girlbossery it's about asserting her conviction as an established avalanche member #it's about courage as an act of being afraid yet doing smth regardless #the og handles the scene so well.. tifa calling the situation scary‚ cloud questioning if she really has the nerve & #asking why she came in the first place #which prompts her to get out of her own head. all it takes is a question‚ a nudge #at the end of the day‚ by participating she Consents to the fact unforeseen events can always happen during a mission #glimpses of tifa's mixed feelings shouldn't come at the expense of weakening her resolve to /push/ past her fear. squenix are u DUMB #that is arguably one of her most defining character traits in the ENTIRE narrative??!?! #otherwise it leaves the player thinking‚ 'what if cloud hadnt been there?' which..girl. She Has Been Doing This Well Before He Came Back #or worse‚ 'why did she agree to avalanche‚ again?' and not in the character-examination way #which is Such a rich question under the right lense.. #yes‚ she wishes she didn't have to do this. even if it's not her first mission it still makes her nervous. she's allowed to‚ she's human #but shinra is so oppressive and she holds so‚ so much Hatred that it manifests in unpalatable ways #and she's Willing to do all this morally dubious shit‚ not to mention RISKY #jumping off a damn moving train is not the exception!!!!!!!! #um. this was supposed to be a simple 'tifa jumps first‚ the remake skinship moment is‚ characterization wise‚ a let down' post #but it got out of my hands JGFJFG #just.. know that i don't really acknowledge it on my remake verse. the implications r not worth the fanservice #chara study.