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#dad!tommy Shelby x reader
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MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB’s Recommendation List: May Pt. 1
Welcome to the first part of the May recommendation list. I hope you have been working enough, with the semester coming to a close for those in school. Ensure you aren’t letting yourself go too crazy with finals and are coming up for air and self-care. If you would like a moodboard made for your story or character, please send me a request. I would love to make you one. If you are interested in having your writing challenges featured here, your stories, or even your blog, please feel free to tag me in your works, message me, or use the hashtag MidnightWithDearKatyTSPB. Heads up, June may be all on one list. I’m going to my Grandmother’s 90th birthday and visit my family. I’ll get plenty of reading done while I’m gone, but I don’t know how much list-making I’ll get done. I hope your spring is going well and allergies are leaving you alone.
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<<April Pt. 2 💐
May Pt. 2✨>>
Masterlist 📜
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I'll See You Again (Moodboard + One-Shot) >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Shelby - Summary: Estella doesn’t want to let go of Tommy or her family.
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BLURBS/DRABBLES:
Escape to Me by @daisyblinder >> Tommy Shelby x fem!reader - Summary/Request: The reader is autistic but masks a lot, so it's hidden, and Tommy can tell when they’re getting overwhelmed, so he sort of helps them out? | Found this very touching and wish to have a Tommy who would comfort them in those times of being overwhelmed.
Tommy Shelby + Hot Asshole Neighbor by @scorpiussage >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Were not always lucky when it comes to neighbors, or are we? (My Summary) | If Tommy were my neighbor, I would gladly like to hear how he would like to make it up to me. 😏
ONE-SHOTS:
And Her Name Is... by @teenwolf-theoriginals >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: The children help come up with baby names. | I truly love this family!Tommy setting.
The Boys by @teenwolf-theoriginals >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: You get a call from the boys’ school, that later sparks a tense conversation between you and Tommy. | I love reading Tommy in a family setting and Charlie with more siblings. Happy to read this.
Close Your Eyes, Make A Wish by @look-at-the-soul >> Modern!Tommy Shelby x reader - Summary/Request: The reader could be having an extremely stressful day, and Tommy comes home to find her looking out their bedroom window, and he gives her a cuddle knowing it always calms her down. | I had a smile on my face the whole time I read this.
Enraptured by @toms-cherry-trees >> John Shelby x Reader - Summary: Gif Request - Sneak Preview: “Oh I see a lot that I like” That cheeky grin of his has not left his lips, and you want to kiss the arrogance out of him... | I love this so much, honestly. You can never get too much, John Shelby.
Mine by @toms-cherry-trees >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Gif Request - Sneak Preview: More often that he cared to admit, Tommy had pictured her with that fan in her hand and nothing else on her skin. | The ending took me by surprise, and it had me so giddy.
More Than Enough by @dandelionprints >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Sneak Peak: “Who have you heard say that? You tell me and I’ll send Arthur round to have a chat with them, no one talks about my wife like that!” | Fantastic job making me fall in love with Tommy Shelby all over again.
My Daughter. by @toomanyfandomsallatonce >> Tommy Shelby x F!Reader - Summary: One of the maids at Arrow house yells at your daughter for breaking a vase, and Tommy is extremely displeased when he finds out. | I have such a soft spot for Dad!Tommy Shelby.
Season's Change, People Don't by @shelbyssins >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary/Request - Sneak Preview: “What if you say no and regret it?” Tommy asked, his voice as soft as the breeze whispering over Y/n’s skin. | This was just perfect, perfect, absolutely perfect.
There's A Lot of Making Up To Do by @acewritesfics >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Y/N is Charlie's daughter. Her and Tommy grew up together and have always been close until she moved away to go be a nurse in London. But now she's back. | Sometimes, a way to a woman's heart is a horse and remembering their teenage dreams of said perfect horse.
Untitled by @padfootdaredmetoo >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Sneak Peak: “You leave what’s mine alone. Now give my regards to Mr. Kimber.” He spat on them as John pulled him back; looking down at them, he wondered if they were dead. | This one-shot brings me joy and makes me want to cheer for Tommy Shelby.
Welcome Back Sweetheart. by @toomanyfandomsallatonce >> Tommy Shelby x F!Reader - Summary: You left Tommy before the war started, and now, years later, he found you again, and this time he won't let you run again. Especially not into the arms of your abusive husband. | When Tommy makes a promise, he keeps it.
Whatever You Say by @little-diable >> Tommy Shelby x fem!reader - Summary: The reader finds a book without a title in Tommy's office, and the more pages she flips, the more she starts to realize that it's a book filled with drawings of naked bodies. | Thank you for the porn with a plot. It was *chefs kiss* perfect.
SERIES:
1919 Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | by @shelby-fangirl00 >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Jasmine Manson - Summary: Jasmine has lost almost everything in life except her Godmother, Polly, and the Shelby family. They are perhaps the only thing keeping her somewhat sane. She spends her days taking care of Finn and her nights living by the moon, reminiscing of old days with Tommy Shelby, wishing for him to come back to her to the way things were before the war. The thing is, the war has changed them both as they both have lost and changed so much in the four years they were apart. (my summary, sorry) | Loosely based on the series, and I'm loving what there is so far!
Night In January pt. 1 | Through The Window pt. 2 | Only Joys Will Come pt. 3 | by @evita-shelby >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: I ride on the January, which leads to a life-changing decision and Shelby family tradition. (My Summary) | I loved the emotions this touches on and how you can picture it happening in the series.
Welcome To Downtown, Mr. Shelby | Chapter 9 | by @notyour-valentine >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Crawley - Summary: He was born on a boat, with neither of his parents sure of the date after the fact, unregistered and unlisted until he went to fight for his country. Her birth had been celebrated with the ringing of church bells, champagne toasts, and announcements in newspapers on both sides of the Atlantic. Their worlds could not have been more different, and perhaps that was why, when Thomas Shelby looked at Lady Charlotte Crawley, he saw more than her title, more than her looks- he saw an opportunity. | I look forward to reading more, and I love how you combine both universes. I know I said that last time Val, but you always blow my mind with your ability to do so.
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PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS:
BLURBS/DRABBLES:
Games by @psychedelic-ink >> bodyguard!Joel Miller x actress!reader - Summary: Joel is fed up with your bratty behavior. | 🥵 🥵 🥵 Can be read alone or read its sequel High Enough.
Skinny Dipping by @swiftispunk >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Sneak Peak - "there," he says softly, reaching out his hand for you to take hold of, pulling you further into the water and closer to him. "feels nice, don't it?" | I’d skinny-dip any day with Joel Miller if it were anything like this.
Snack Break by @joelscruff >> boyfriend's dad!Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Joel needs you to be quiet. | Cocky!Joel telling you to enjoy your snack does things to me.
ONE-SHOTS:
At His Side (In His Bed) by @proxima-writes >> mand’alor!Din Djarin x female reader x Paz Vizsla - Summary: They call you the whore of Mandalore. Nothing more than the woman at the side of the ruler of New Mandalore, Din Djarin, a pretty little prize that he likes to share with his General Commander, Paz Vizsla. Mandalorians have always been good at keeping their secrets. | It's hot, and if you are like me, you'll surely love the ending.
High Enough by @psychedelic-ink >> Dieter Bravo x actress!reader x bodyguard!Joel Miller - Summary: An afterparty, weed, drinks, a grumpy bodyguard, and an eccentric actor. What can go wrong? | I think that was one of the hottest things I’ve ever read. 🥵🔥
In Her Defense by @swiftispunk >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: An unexpected attack. A protective instinct. A heartfelt exchange. (The reader steps in when a stranger tries it with Ellie, and Joel is a guilt-ridden sad boy about it.) | This was a lovely one-shot; I'm so glad I read it!
*I've Shattered Now by @wannab-urs >> Dieter Bravo x Reader - Summary: Continuation of A Ghost of You (but can be read separately). Dieter dies, and you have to learn to live without him. | I’m not crying like a big baby. Nope, I promise. This was so beautifully written, and I would read it repeatedly. Please read all TW.
*Old Soul by @softlyspector >> Joel Miller x f!Reader - Summary: You're never quite sure of your place in Joel's life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is. | This whole work is dark yet beautiful, honestly, and I love it.
Say It With Your Hands by @swiftispunk >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Ellie convinces Joel to see the town masseuse. It goes mostly okay. | That was so hot 🥵 Hannah, thank you for sharing this with us.
*Seasons by @loquaciousferret >> Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: One scene for each season of the year of your relationship as you fall in love with Joel Miller, single dad, and sweet southern heartthrob. | The best slow-burn and sweet porn I've read features Joel Miller. I adored it.
Toyin' With Them Older Guys by @proxima-writes >> bartender!Joel Miller x female!reader - Summary: Joel Miller is the grumpy bartender and owner of your favorite bar near campus, where you attend trivia every Tuesday night. Thinking there’s no way Joel could return your feelings, your friend suggests trying out Tinder. But when you bring them to the bar for a date, they leave mid-date without explanation. Maybe there’s something Joel isn’t telling you after all. | This was hot and, dare I say, adorable.
Weakness by @pedgeitopascal >> Joel Miller x female reader - Summary: An afternoon at Bill and Frank’s takes an unexpected turn for you and Joel when some feelings start coming to the surface. | The last line of this just sums this up so perfectly and beautifully…. I love it.
STORIES:
Apothecary | Chapter 4 | by @atinylittlepain >> Joel Miller x witchy!reader - Summary: Joel becomes curious about the woman running the medicine shop in Jackson, and the strange rumors swirling around her. | I know there is still more to come, and I look forward to what is in store for them.
Burning Hour by @juletheghoul >> Din Djarin x Royal F!Reader - Summary: Din Djarin is the captain of your father - the king's royal guard and, as such, is tasked with protecting you. When you leave a child and come back a woman, he sees you in a different light- but he isn’t the only one with his eye on you. Can a Princess and her Knight find a way to be together? | This story is so good! And the plot twist that you don't see coming! It blew my mind and made me love this story even more. I'm not sure which part I loved the most the vows, the porn, or the plot twist. I highly recommend you read this.
In My Hometown Series | Come Back, Be Here | by @swiftispunk >> neighbour!dbf!Joel Miller x fem!afab!actor(ish)!reader (+ platonic!Tommy and platonic!Sarah - Summary: Joel reckons with life in Austin after you return to LA | It's hot, but this series period is hot. It's one of my all-time favorite Joel Miller series here on Tumblr, and Hannah does amazing writing, Joel and reader.
One For The Money, Two For The Show by @cowgurrrl >> rockstar!Joel Miller x actress!reader - Summary: When world-famous rockstar Joel Miller finds himself in some hot water with the press, his PR team suggests fake dating an up-and-coming actress to refine his image. However, when they actually start spending time together, the happy couple can’t stand each other. Will they be able to turn it around for the cameras, or will it all be for nothing? | I LOVE THIS SERIES! If I were the reader, I would be screaming into my pillows about Joel Miller and his stupid face.
Raider by @toxicanonymity >> raider!Joel Miller x fem!reader - Summary: You think Joel is saving you from the bad guys, but he's just claiming you for himself. You're his now, and he won't let you or his men forget it. Better be a good girl for him. It's for your own good, sweet pea. | It's both a perfect amount of dark and porn. If you like dark!Joel look no further.
True Blue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | by @beskarandblasters >> Joel Miller x OC!Hannah - Summary: Joel has lived most of his life with little emotional attachments, especially romantic attachments. He was satisfied with only having his brother, Tommy, and his friend, Tess. That is until Hannah moves to the Boston QZ from Hartford, Connecticut QZ after the military control there collapses, and Joel questions everything he thought he knew about love, trust, and loyalty. | I look forward to seeing where this goes because this has me sucked in, and it’s very good!
*Uneven Odds by @theetherealbloom >> Joel Miller x Fem!Reader - Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold or will she be able to change what was already written? | You want to cry, scream, and laugh all throughout. It’s a must-read for fans of the television series and Joel Miller.
Untitled pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | by @pascalisbaby >> neighborhood!dbf!Joel Miller x fem!reader - Summary: after two years of fantasizing about your neighbor, Joel, he finally gives you what you’ve been dying for. | This series is just so good! Please read it.
TRIPLE FRONTIER:
ONE-SHOTS:
Take Care of You by @musings-of-a-rose >> Benny Miller x f!reader - Summary/Request: Here is my Benny idea. He gets worried about his baby working nights. The reason why he takes her to and from work. Go out to their favorite hangout for a late dinner. Then spoil her as soon they get home. | Buddles, that is so cute, and yes, I could use some myself.
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Pedro Pascal characters as Taylor Swift albums by @swiftispunk
Tommy Shelby Moodboard by @raincoffeeandfandoms
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padfootdaredmetoo · 4 months
Note
Tommy x wife reader: Charlie and Ruby are theirs (no grace or lizzie) and they have a few other children, in order of their ages: Charles (Charlie) James (Jamie) Edward (Teddie) Ruby (Ru)
And just after Ruby dies and Tommy finds out he’s dying, his wife finds out she is pregnant again and she is just traumatised by it as she’s lost her only daughter and her aunt-in-law and about to lose her husband too
But Tommy doesn’t die and they have a baby girl, who they name Rose Elizabeth, because Ruby loved roses and after Polly and they nickname her Posy as a portmanteau of Rosy and Polly
Hey Love,
Sorry it took forever. This one is pretty sad and I really enjoyed writing it. Hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Peaky Themes, Childbirth, Child death, grieving.
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Not a single dull day had passed in Arrow House. It was always loud as the children ran around causing chaos. Today was so silent you could drop a tack in the kitchen and hear it in the attic. 
You lay on the floor of your youngest daughter's room. Your little girl. The grief clenched in your chest and you felt your heart miss a beat as your body twisted in on itself. You’d never felt such a loss in your life. 
Now you have a baby in your stomach, your husband is going to die leaving you with three boys. You knew you should be with him, enjoy his presence while you have him here amongst the living.
How could you worry about anything after watching your daughter slip from the world just a day ago? You remember holding her hand and singing to her. Thomas holding it together just until her eyes fluttered closed before falling apart in a way you didn't think him capable of. 
You sat there silently. Something deep inside you felt at peace. She was safe where she was. Polly was with her. Knowing something deep in your soul had never taken away from the way your brain and body worked. 
Your body hadn’t stopped shaking since it happened. Your limbs vibrating as you lay on her pink carpet. You felt discarded like all the stuffies and dolls that lay on the floor around you. Without her to come and breathe life into you, you would stay on the carpet like a doll. 
Teddie was the first person to find you. His small body came and curled up against your side. The warmth of him seeped into your icy body. 
A mother could only stop being a mother once she had no children left. And you had three. This moment of sadness and grief couldn't go on for the eternity you felt it needed. You had boys to wrangle. Little Ruby adored her brothers and you knew she wouldn't ever forgive you if you let them down. 
With the strength of a British Mum, you brushed the tears off your cheeks with the side of your hand. You sat up even though every selfish part of you screamed to lay back down on that carpet. To rot away to a place where you could hold her again. 
“Hey, Teddie.” You whispered running a hand down the small boy’s back. 
“Mum I’m hungry.” He mumbled.
“Teddie! Dad said we have to leave her alone.” Charlie was in the doorway, with his arms crossed. His tone was angry and you could swear he looked years older than the last time you saw him. 
“Darling, never leave me alone.” You said giving him a serious look. His face faltered slightly as he took in your words. “I’m still a mum. And mum’s make dinner, let’s go. Into the kitchen.” 
Teddie was happy and you picked him up even though he was far too big for that now. Walking down the hallway, Charlie surprised you when he opened Jamie’s door. 
You sat Teddie on his favorite spot on the counter and started getting out various pots and pans. 
“She’s up.” He said and your middle boy came into the hallway. Silently the four of you made it into the kitchen. Grief was creeping in all the shadows of the room as Charlie made a fire. 
“Ruby isn't coming home is she?” Teddie asked. Charlie let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose in the way only the eldest child could. 
“No, she’s with Aunt Polly now. They live in the sky.” Jamie answered softly. You gripped the edges of the pot tightly as you pushed down the intense feelings threatening to overflow again. 
The window opened and you could hear her voice on the wind that whipped around your face. 
Keep Going.  
That’s what you did. Death be dammed you’d made a deal with God to sacrifice and survive for these boys and that’s what you would do. 
With a cracking heart you closed the window and looked around the kitchen at the boy's stunned faces. 
“Please tell me you heard that as well right?” Charlie said with wide eyes. 
______________________________________________________________
One dinner down a lifetime left to go. 
The weeks turned into a month and the pain did not relent. You had no moments of peace only the love felt by shared grieving. Esme was always around now. All the kids lumped together in Arrow House like the days of the Changretta feud. She made sure your hair got brushed and your outfits matched. 
Arthur came around every day. He kept Tommy together while they worked out all this conflict. He feels a war is coming and you couldn't imagine it could be anything worse than the one raging in your mind. Alfie stops by and tells you things that confirm it will be much worse. 
Three boys, and a war. 
You put your make-up on so you have a reason not to cry during the day. 
You spend every evening with Tommy. You know what he is doing is important. It could change the outcome for the rest of the families on the planet. So you sacrifice your time with him and survive on the couch reading. When really you just stare into the fire wishing everything would burn up to be reborn as something new. 
Three boys and one more undetermined in your stomach. Your hand rested there often. You expected to lose the baby so you didn't really think about it. If they did come into this world you prayed it would be before Tommy passed. Grieving with a baby in your stomach would be easier than grieving with a newborn. But you wanted them to meet their father, even if it was for a fleeting moment. You would suffer and survive. 
Tommy finally got over himself and got a second opinion. He hated doctors and you expected him to be in a foul mood when he got back from a series of appointments in London. Alfie accompanied him back and you placed a plate of biscuits and cups of tea on the kitchen table. The kitchen was for family, but Alfie somehow managed to get an invitation out of Tommy. You were always happy to see him, but were wary of the news he often brought these days. You took a seat and he grabbed your hand and held it.  Your mind flashed back to the good old days when something so small would have sent Tommy after him in a rage. 
Alfie knew better than to ask how you were keeping. Tommy finally sat down at the head of the table, he looked pale. Too pale to drive, which explains why Alfie had come back with him. 
“I’m not sick.” His eyes closed and he leaned back against the chair. 
“What?” You whispered. 
“The f-uck-ing doctor was working for that stupid mustache piece of shit,” Alfie said his voice was venomous but his smile was unshakeable. 
“You're not going to die.” Your eyes moved to Tommy and he shook his head.  
“Going to have to wait a while longer to steal you away, love.” Alfie's voice was all humor now, but he knew it was time to let go of your hand when Tommy flashed him a look. The look of the old Tommy. 
“I’m pregnant.” You blurted out. 
“Looks like I dodged a bullet. Last thing I wanted to be raising up another little Shelby brat.” Alfie was laughing and Tommy smiled. A genuine smile. 
You were happy, and then the brutal deafening sadness crashed down on you. The sheer panic of having a child hits again and the nausea has you throwing your head back in the sink. Tommy is there pulling your hair up. 
“Like she would ever go for you,” Tommy said easily taking a sip of tea.
“Shit,” Alfie says from the counter near you. He gets a glass for Tommy to fill with water. 
____________________________________________________________
You told Esme and you both held on to each other as you cried. 
“I never thought I would say this but thank God Tommy will be alright.” She shook her head as the words strangled her. “You’ll never have to know what it’s like to raise em up with out their father.” 
You both cried on the kitchen floor for a long while. 
_________________________________________
The time came and you had high blood pressure meaning you had to do things in the hospital. Something that made everything a thousand times more painful. But that was your baby, and you would sacrifice and they would survive. 
They kept trying to medicate you and Esme kept throwing nurses out of the room screaming at them in Romani when English wasn't scary enough. In the thick of it you kept crying out for Polly. 
You didn't want these strangers to help you. They didn't care about you or your baby. They weren't family. Arthur came and spoke to Esme in the doorway for a moment. You expected news that Tommy wouldn't make it in time or that something worse had happened. 
Instead, Esme handed you one of Polly’s rosaries to hold. You gripped the cold crystal beads and felt yourself split apart over all the reasons you were crying. 
Tommy showed up and commanded the room with Esme. The window blew open letting cold air around the room and you could feel her love for you. 
You gave birth to a little girl. 
There were no pictures taken as you bawled. You got her latched on to your breast and cried and cried. The nurses kept pushing for sedation but Esme started at them and Tommy pointed towards the door. Arthur came in and read a passage from his bible for you. You're not sure why exactly but it helped. It felt like a blessing that this baby would be alright. 
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You brought her home the same night, itching to get out of the hospital. You carried her in and watched all your boys get excited. You handed her off to Charlie first. 
“I love it when they look like grumpy old men,” Jamie said with a smile, Teddie let out a loud laugh. 
“She does look like an old man.” 
“What did you name her?” Charlie asked his finger tracing down the slope of her nose. 
“Rose Elizabeth,” Tommy said sitting next to him placing his arm around his eldest son. 
“Posy then,” Charlie said with a sense of finality. 
Charlie, Jamie, Teddie, and Posy. Your heart was happy and sad at the same time. 
Jamie came round and put his arm around you. 
“Love you mum.” He whispered and you wondered when he got old enough to kiss the top of your head. The boys were strong like their father, and you had no doubts they were strong enough to carry you and Posy.
_______________________________________________________________
This chunk of time was easier than it was with the other four kids. Tommy took time off. Churchill had other moves he wanted to play and for now, Tommy wasn’t involved. 
He’d sit while you breastfed in the night, he’d change nappies, and read stories. You watched him be a girl dad again and the pain was harsh and beautiful at the same time. 
Esme helped you take down Ruby’s room. The idea of moving one of the boys to a different floor or wing of the house made your skin itch. Ruby’s room needed to be emptied. 
You aired the room out and you knew that she would be happy about giving it to her sister. Esme assured you at every turn that she wouldn't be angry at you. 
_______________________
Eventually Arrow House moved on. Posy was very attached to the idea she had both an Aunt and a sister in the sky watching over her. 
The war came and what was left of the family did what they had to do. Thankfully Posy was there with you so you were never alone.
Thankfully when it was all over all your boys came home to you.
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evita-shelby · 1 year
Note
Hi there Juli!!
I saw that you said you were taking some dad!Tommy requests for this weekend….I was wondering if you could write a dad!Tommy x reader story with the prompt: "Be gentle, please." ??
Thanks so much in advance if you choose to! ❤️
Thanks 😊
Gif by @romeulusroy
In the bleak midwinter
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Twins.
If someone would’ve told him he’d be marrying you not even three months after meeting you, he wouldn’t have believed it.
He had been home from France for less than a month when he met you feeding stray cats on your grandmother’s doorstep.
Somehow the two of you had hit it off and the week after Cheltenham, Tommy and you had gotten married because you were pregnant.
With twins, or so Polly had seen in his tea the morning he told her you had cried over him not taking you to the races even knowing why he was taking Grace instead of you.
With something far greater to think about ---making enough of a profit to provide a good home for you and your unborn children--- he had no time to waste on the barmaid who led Arthur on to the point his poor brother nearly offed himself when they discovered she was a rat.
He's still sore in the chest from Kimber’s bullet when the babies are born.
One boy, one girl.
“Be gentle, please.” You say as he holds little Diane in his arms.
“I’ve held babies before, love.” He says remembering how excited he had been to hold Finn when he was born.
They were small, but the lungs on his little princess told him all he needed to know.
Charles Henry and Diane Elizabeth.
Names that feel significant and will have something to do with the fall of the House of Windsor, or so you said as the anesthesia wore off at the clinic.
Names fit for two children who will have everything he lacked growing up.
If Charlie wants a top hat for every day of the week, Tommy will make sure he got closets full of them.
If Diane wants to only eat coconuts, then he’d make sure there’s always one for her.
“To think this time last year we was feeding stray cats in the dead of night, Mrs. Shelby.” He said pressing a kiss to your forehead as you nursed little Charlie.
I love you, he means to say and yet the words convey it just the same.
“I’m glad your curiosity got the better of you, Mr. Shelby.” You said and added, “I love you too.”
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notyour-valentine · 1 year
Text
A Secret, a Fear and a Hatbox ~ dad!Tommy Shelby (Fluff)
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[Masterlist] [Taglist]
Summary: With his wife away, Tommy feels more helpless than ever at the change of behaviour in his children
Note: Written for @look-at-the-soul and her 900 follower celebration: I hope you enjoy!
All my writing is produced by an adult and created with an adult audience in mind (18/21+). You are responsible for your own media consumption. I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other.
Warning: unrealistic dog behaviour
Wordcount: 3076 words
Of course, Tommy thought. 
Of course, something would be wrong with his children in the one week of the year when his wife was out of the house, worse: un - fucking - reachable. 
Ada be damned, for wanting to take all the women of the family minus Linda over to America for a week. 
They were on their way back now, but that didn’t help. 
While she was on that boat, Tommy couldn’t reach her and ask her if (1) she knew what was up, (2) how he could find out what was up and (3) how he could resolve whatever was up. 
And that would be another three days, eight hours and forty-seven minutes, at least according to the advertising of the cruise company. 
He shut the lid of his pocket watch with a sigh and slipped it back into his pocket. 
Maybe, he thought as he reached for the whisky, he was simply overthinking. 
He had never been alone with the children before, well technically he wasn’t now, with Frances and the maids, but he was the only parent around. 
Despite their astronomical rise, she had resented the idea of a nanny, and shuddered at the thought of a nursery maid, and Tommy had agreed. 
He didn’t mind other people cooking his food and ironing his shirts, but a near stranger holding his children, changing them, bathing them, rocking them to sleep?
Someone who wasn’t blood? Who wasn’t family?
Occasionally, he could tolerate the thought, but as normality? 
Absolutely not. 
Something tribal in him prevented the entertainment of such an idea, but that left him in the tight spot of now shouldering the responsibility for the two in her absence. 
For all his faults, he had noticed the change in his children. 
It had started well enough, but after a few days, it had all shifted. 
Usually, Betty would be the essence of decorum, more perfect in every way than one of the children in the catalogues, as if she was born in a place like Arrow House and not, unlike her brother, in Watery Lane. 
But she wolfed down her food like her little brother did, and requested to leave the table while still chewing. 
That had never happened before, even at Christmas, or on Birthdays. 
And little Georgie, well, usually it nearly took force or bribery to get him to stay indoors,  always climbing trees and tending to the horses, but now he was his sister’s constant shadow, and as silent as one too. 
His head snapped up as he heard the rhythm of little feet on the grand staircase which led right past his office, and hushed voices too, even though they were too soft for him to make out the words. 
With a sigh he pushed his chair back and crossed his office in long strides. When he pulled the door open, he saw both Betty and Georgie already halfway though the entrance hall - with Betty carrying a large white box in her hands. 
When Georgie saw him, he gasped and grabbed his older sister’s arm, his eyes wide in horror. 
Betty turned, saw him, gulped and then offered him the sweetest of smiles. 
“Hello Daddy!”, she chirped as bright as the early summer sun. “I’m so sorry if we were loud. We were just going outside for some fresh air.”
“And what’s that then, eh?”, he asked, nodding to the box. 
It seemed vaguely familiar but on closer inspection, he remembered that the dark green accents were that of the London Hatmaker he had sent her to before taking her to the races a few years back. 
“Are you playing with your mother’s clothes?”, he wanted to know. 
“I’m sure she won’t mind!”, Betty said at once, her hands tightening around the box. 
“Oh she’ll mind when you get stains on it.”
That hat had been expensive, paying not just for the craftsmanship or material, but double for the name. 
She had been furious about the price, he remembered, but it had been worth it. They were moving up in the world, and that meant moving on beyond the little shops at the Bull Ring in Birmingham. 
“I’ll take great care.”, Betty promised. “Goodbye now.”
With that, for her, the conversation was over. 
Tommy shifted, glanced back at his office door and cleared his throat. 
“I’ve got a few more papers to go through and then I can join you.”, he suggested. After all, he had hoped to spend some time with his children while their mother was away. 
“Take out the horses, or the cart, how about that George?”
He could see it already, him and George driving that cart up and down the roads leading to and from Arrow House, with little darling Betty lounging beside them in one of her mother’s gigantic hats. That is, until she’d get the idea to jump on a pony’s back and try to outrace them. 
To his surprise, George shook his head. “Perhaps some time else.”, Betty agreed. 
That stung more than Tommy thought it would, and so he tried again. 
“Why’s that then, eh?”, he wanted to know, cautiously coming closer. 
“We’re very busy.”, his daughter said sharply. “Busy?”, Tommy asked as his brows threatened to vanish in his hairline. 
“What have you two got to be busy about?”
George looked caught out and stared at his feet, but Betty was unfazed. 
“Children’s matters, Daddy. You wouldn’t understand.”
With that, she turned, her hair and the ribbon that held it in place, fluttering behind her. 
“Come along now Georgie.”, she instructed, and with that off they went, leaving Tommy alone in the hall. 
He watched them leave and tried to ignore the ache in his chest as he returned to his office. 
He knew he worked long and hard, but he did it to give them everything. Still, every single time his wife had reminded him he ought to spend more time with them, with his family, rattled around in his head, as memories of every event, excursion or trip he had cancelled his participation in came back to haunt him. 
He was there, for every birthday, for Christmases and Easter, even if he occasionally slipped away to his office for some work, and almost every performance?
He taught to ride and how to care for horses. 
He kissed them goodnight every time he could and didn’t shy away from embraces and hugs. 
Still, what if it wasn’t enough to make up for all he had missed. 
What of all the family memories they had acquired were less due to him and solely due to his wife? That picnic at the lake? That trip to the sea? 
In truth, he had expected that with their mother away, the children would flock to him the way they did when he returned from work, wanting to spend as much time with him as they usually did with her. 
He had thought he would have to distract them in order to get a few moments alone in the office and not that his seven year old would order his return there to be rid of him. 
But perhaps his children had gotten so used to his absence that his presence no longer made a difference to him. 
That idea hurt, and he wished more than ever to pick up that stupid telephone hearer and demand his wife be summoned to the other side. If he couldn’t feel the warmth of her hands and the softness of her embrace to soothe his worries, her voice alone would have to do. 
Three days, eight hours and fourteen minutes. 
No, he would try again, he thought and hurried outside. 
The swing was empty, the trees void of all invaders, and the green without anyone playing croquet or catch or hoops or anything, really. 
And when he’d ask a gardener, he was told that Betty and George had formed a procession all the way behind the hedge, stayed there for a moment, and then returned to the house the same way they had done. 
“Well, not exactly, Sir.”, the gardener had told him, rubbing his sun-tanned forehead. “They took the servant’s entrance, they did.”
That was the one that didn’t go through the hall and thereby avoided passing his office. 
Fuck, Tommy thought and lit a cigarette on the way back. 
In the coming hours he couldn’t focus on the reports, the letters and papers. He couldn’t focus on anything except the fact that his children clearly and undoubtedly were avoiding him, and that at a time when they should have come running. 
When Frances asked him if he would like to join his children at their dinner, a formality, since he usually tried to if he could, he declined. 
After a whole case of cigarettes, his appetite was gone anyhow. 
That made him feel like a coward. 
He should talk to them, should try to do better, to make up for the lost time, but a debilitating weight had draped over his shoulders and the one person to lift it was still on a boat crossing the Atlantic. 
Three days, four hours and two minutes. 
She’d know what to do, how to fix it. 
She always did, like with Georgie’s ear infections of Betty’s coughs, or his own headaches. From somewhere in the back of her mind and the depths of her cabinets, she’d find a magical cure to make things right. 
But until she returned, he was all on his own and he had never felt lonelier. 
When Frances told him the children were headed for bed, it was as if he had been called to his own execution. 
He knew that feeling, had felt it more than once, so it wasn’t an exaggeration. 
The night nursery was right next to their shared bedroom, something they had both wanted, for their children to be close. 
When he entered, they were already tucked in, Betty on the right, Georgie on the left. 
“All ready for bed?”, he asked. 
Both nodded. 
“Would you like a story?”, he asked, glancing over his shoulder to the bookshelf, his eyes lingering on the Tales of Robin Hood - Georgie’s favourite. 
For a split second he saw a glint in his eyes, but then he slammed his jaw shut and shook his head. 
“No thank you!”, Betty said, leaning forward and presenting her cheek to him. 
With a sigh, Tommy leaned in and kissed her goodnight, proceeding to do the same with Georgie. 
At the door, he turned, and looked back at them both who were watching with wide eyes, as if they couldn’t wait to be rid of him. 
“You know,”, he mumbled, his hands clutching the door knob until his knuckles turned white, as he tried to find the words. 
It wasn’t too difficult, he thought, just tell them you love them, Tom
Whether it was his voice or his wife’s, he could not say. 
But before the words had a chance to pass his lips, he heard a shuffle. 
Then Betty was on her feet. “Right!”, she said loudly, giving him a gentle shove. “Goodnight, Daddy, goodnight!”
This insistence was new, and he didn’t know what to make of it, so he just stared. 
Then he heard it again. The shuffle. 
But it wasn’t coming from Georgie’s bed on the left, nor her now deserted bed on the right, but from the wardrobe across from it. 
“What’s that?”, he asked, eyeing it suspiciously. 
“What’s what?”, Betty asked, batting her eyelashes. 
At the same time, Georgie said: “It’s nothing.”
When they realised what they had done, Betty blushed and Georgie paled. 
Slowly, Tommy looked from one to the other. “You’ve got to the count of three to tell me what’s in there!”, he demanded, seriously considering if he could head back to his bedroom and reach for the bedside drawer to retrieve his gun. 
Neither one of his children made a move to speak and so the three counts passed without a reaction. 
“Daddy!”, Betty warned, tugging at his sleeve as he pushed past her and towards the wardrobe. 
He opened it and was met with - clothes. 
Betty’s dresses and skirts, all hanging in a neat, tidy row, an explosion of pastels and floral prints. 
Then he heard it again, the shuffle and scratching and when he looked down, towards the boxes of shoes and hats, he noticed one large one atop a smaller one, the lid slightly ajar. 
With one flick, he sent the lid flying, ready for anything. 
“Fu-”
He caught himself just in time as he saw the content. 
It was a dog, he realised after staring at it for a few heartbeats, even if it was in size far closer than a cat, and even smaller than one too, with pointed ears and dark, clear eyes. 
He looked away, then down again, before turning to his children. 
“Why -” the absolute fuck “is there a dog in your nursery?”
“Mummy!”, Georgie quickly said. 
“Mummy?”, Tommy asked. 
Georgie nodded, but he didn’t miss the way Betty stared at him in surprise. 
That told him it was a lie, but Georgie went further. 
“Daddy, you know Mummy doesn’t like the horses as much as we do, so we thought a dog will make her happy.”
Another lie, or rather an impressively tall tale to cover up, but it didn't change the fact that he was staring at a dog, small or not, who was very much alive and who's mere existence in this moment required a reaction.
Pinching the bridge of his nose with the hand that wasn't holding the box, he sat down on the foot of Georgie's bed and stared at the intruder. 
"And instead of asking for a dog,", he sighed, "you two…nicked one? Stole one?"
He wouldn't put it past them. Georgie had the guts and Betty the wits to pull it off. 
Made evident by the fact that they had snuck it past him for the devil knows how long. 
"Oh don’t be silly Daddy,", Betty giggled. "There was no time to ask."
Wasn't there, Elizabeth Shelby? He wanted to ask, but Georgie came to his sister's defence. 
"When I found him he was all wet and shaking and he crawled into my coat, right here!"
He rubbed his side where his upper arms brushed against the side of his torso. 
"And when was that?", Tommy wanted to know, sounding as tired, old and helpless as he felt. 
Georgie looked to Betty who gave a shrug of resignation. 
"When we were at Uncle Charlie's. We were playing Coppers and Blinders and I found him tied up in one of the caves."
The pup wouldn't have been put there by Charlie or Curly. 
Charlie had his faults, but he preferred animals to humans and Curly, well, he couldn't harm a fly even with a gun to his head. 
And the caves, as Georgie called them, were the places they stored boxes of goods before sending them up it down the Cut. 
But that time at Charlie's Yard had been two days ago. 
"How has he not made a mess yet?", He asked, seriously hoping that they wouldn't stumble on a far worse surprise under a carpet or in the corner of a cupboard. 
Then he realised - the hat box. 
The children must've smuggled him in and out time and time again, right under his and all the servants' noses. 
Betty sat down next to him, covering his hand with her little one, soft as rose petals. 
"He's been so very good and he hasn't even disturbed you with barking, has he?", She asked, batting her eyelashes up at him. "No trouble at all."
Tommy sighed, already knowing where she was intent on going. 
"You can't keep a dog in the nursery, Elizabeth."
Besides, he'd probably have lice or worms. 
Fuck
If his wife came back from America and the children had lice, there’d be hell to pay. 
Betty stroked his hand again. 
“We’d be ever so sad if we’d have to give him away now.”, she told him. “We’d cry for days and days, won’t we Georgie?”
“I don’t cry!”, he argued, puffing up his chest. 
And yet when his sister glared at him, he quickly shifted gears. 
“But I-I would, if you’d make us give him up.”
That appeased his sister, who gave him a pleased nod before turning back to their father. “So either a sea of tears, Daddy, or we take one my prettiest ribbons and tie it around his neck and make Mummy the happiest Lady in the whole world when she comes back.”
Tommy rubbed his temple once more. 
Although he was beyond relieved that he found the reason for his children’s shift in behaviour, this caused a whole host of problems. 
He didn’t want a dog. 
They didn’t need a dog. Besides, this wasn’t even a proper dog who could guard a house, chase away an intruder or catch a rabbit. 
But he also knew that the threat of tears wasn’t just an empty promise. 
Knowing Betty and her antics, she’d probably throw herself at her mother’s feet the moment she came into view, and that Georgie wouldn’t be far behind. 
And as a betting man, he knew his way around odds. 
“No.”, he said, looking from one to the other. 
“What?”, Betty gasped, her large eyes filling with tears, while George erupted into a cascade of protests. 
He raised his hands for silence, but struggled to get it, and when he did, both his children pouted. 
“You’re not putting this on your mother.”, he said sharply, pointing at them both. “If you want this dog to stay, he will be your responsibility and you’ll take care of him. You will walk him. You will wash him. You will feed him and if he pisses on the floor, you will clean it up, is that understood?”
George nodded eagerly, but Betty hesitated. “But we will have help, no?”, she asked. “After all, he’ll have to go to the vet some time and Georgie and I can’t drive. And we aren’t allowed to touch the cleaning products either.”
Sneaky menace, Tommy thought, not without pride. 
She had inherited his wits and his wife’s way with words and always found a loophole in absolutely anything, and she had caught him out once again. 
He nodded. 
Betty looked to Georgie, who was grinning from ear to ear and nodded eagerly. 
Then, on behalf of them both, she spat into her palm and stretched it out to him, a triumphant smile on her lips.
~
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed and as always I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Daer Mar, I hope you enjoyed this story! Once more congratulations on your milestone and celebration and all my best to you and your little friend!
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sneakyblinders · 1 year
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As His Daughter
A/N: for my Tommy and his darling wife!au. <3 told from their oldest daughter, Katherine/Kate’s POV.  Warnings: childbirth, not canon.  2.7k words. 
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The screams echoed off the halls of our home. I could hear my fathers footsteps pacing in the room in which my mother labored in. The midwife, nearly panicked by now, was sweating profusely as she called down the stairs to Frances for more boiling water and towels.
It was 1940, my mother should be giving birth in a hospital. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest, staring into the fire. The front door opened and shut quickly and I heard my older brother, Peter’s footsteps. “How is she?” he asked, removing his peaky cap, blue eyes anxious.
“She’s fine. Screaming–” a blood curdling shriek was let out from the room upstairs. I pointed to the ceiling. “Like that. Other than that she’s fine.”
I could feel my brother's annoyance at me. “She’s always had difficult births, I don’t understand why you’re so cross with her.” he nearly growled at me, removing his coat and hanging it on the coat rack next to fathers.
“They’re too old to still be having children!” I spouted off, annoyance with both of my parents clear. “Father is nearly fifty, and mother just turned forty!”
“It’s not our life, Kate.” Peter told me sternly, sitting down in the chair next to me.
“I know that, but it’s embarrassing, don’t you think?” I asked, cheeks flushing.
“What’s embarrassing?” he asked, clearly unaware of the shame I felt at my parents more often than not.
I rolled my eyes again. “That you, their oldest son, is married, ready at any moment to have his own child, and they’re still having their own children?”
Peter flashed me a sympathetic half-smile. “She never told you, did she?” he asked.
“Tell me what?”
He turned away from me, looking into the fire. At that moment, my brother looked so much like the younger version of my father it startled me. Peter is a lot like our father, but softer, kinder in many ways.
“Mother gave birth to me alone. It was just her and Aunt Polly, and Aunt Esme,” he began, still not meeting my eyes. “Father had been taken and nearly killed. She spiraled into despair, not knowing what to do without him,” he sighed. “And when father was returned to the family, naturally, she was overjoyed. Two years later, she became pregnant with you, but her birth with you was traumatic. You were early and she nearly died. Father was more unbearable than normal. He nearly refused to give her more children until the twins for fear of losing her,” I looked down at my hands, folded in my lap, my parents' relationship making a little more sense as my brother fit all the pieces together. “Then after the twins, Claire was simply an oops, and this baby a big oops.” Irish twins, Frances had lovingly called them. “Father never forgave himself for denying mother the children she wanted, so this is his way of making it up to her. I do assure you, sister, this is the last baby. She told me herself. She’s completely exhausted.”
“I bet she is.” I snarled.
“Why are you always like that towards her? She’s nothing but kind to you despite all your snide remarks and unkindness.” he seethed, sitting back in his chair and lighting a cigarette.
“I don’t know.”
“Is it because she always takes fathers attention?” Peter asked and my heart sunk in my chest. He did tend to know me better than our other siblings, partially due to our age differences.
“Would it have killed him to pay us a little mind, Peter?” I asked, tears springing to my eyes.
Peter chewed the inside of his cheek. “He’s–a complicated man, Kate.”
“We don’t even know who he is.” I mumbled.
I could hear the cogs in Peter’s mind whirring. “I suppose that may be because you’ve never asked to know him,” he leaned forward, his forearms on his knees. “I’ve learned much about him the last few years.”
“It’s because you’re a man.” I replied, quickly brushing a tear off my cheek.
“That may play a part but it’s also because I’ve asked to know him. I also work for him.”
“You’re older than I am–it’s different.” I said again, crossing my arms tighter.
“Keep making excuses and you’ll never know him.”
We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while, before we heard footsteps on the stairs. Heavy footsteps. Our father.
His hair was nearly all salt-and-pepper now, wrinkles prominent around his eyes. He looked tired. “Hello, son,” he greeted Peter kindly, walking over to where he was seated. Peter stood up and hugged him. “It’ll be any moment now, the midwife thinks.”
“Can you see the head?” I asked.
“They uh–” my father adjusted uncomfortably. “Had to turn the baby–was breeched.”
“Oh.” I said softly, heart panging in my chest for my mother.
“What brings you home, son?” my father asked, turning to Peter.
“Wanted to check on my mother. Sophie is out with her aunts and mother tonight, and I figured I didn’t want to be alone at a time like this.” he explained.
“Mr. Shelby!” the midwife called from the top of the steps. “Mrs. Shelby needs you!”
Without a second of hesitation my father turned and jaunted up the steps, two at a time. We could hear faint sobbing. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. I’m tired, Thomas.” we could hear her sobbing to him, and him softly shushing her, encouraging her no doubt.
The grandfather clock in the foyer struck nine o’clock, and thirty minutes later, we heard shouts of joy and a baby screaming. “Kate! Peter! Come!” Father called from the top of the steps, the happiest look on his face.
We ran up the steps, eager to meet our youngest sibling. “It’s a boy,” the midwife said. Our mother lay in the bed, sweat streaming down her face, body trembling. We stood in the doorway as the midwife held the baby up for us to see. Wrinkled and red, dark black hair like the rest of us.
Father was smoothing Mother’s hair back from her face, peppering her forehead in kisses. “You did so well, my love. So well. He’s beautiful.”
“This is the last one, Thomas. The last one.” she told him as the midwife took our youngest brother to clean him off.
“What’ll you name him?” I asked.
Father looked down at mother expectantly. “Anthony James.” she told us, hands trembling as she reached for Father’s hand.
“Anthony,” I said aloud, liking the way it sounded. “I love it, mother.”
We chatted with our father from the doorway for a few minutes. The midwife returned a few moments later, the baby cleaned and squirming, ready to feed for the first time. “Children, if you’ll excuse us.” Father asked, turning towards our mother who held the baby at her chest.
We quickly left the doorway, the midwife closing the door softly behind us.
“Doesn’t seeing things like new life ever make you want to create your own family?” Peter asked.
I had always been repulsed by the thought of family. Mine confused me so much throughout my life. Our extended family had been rather close to us throughout the years, and faded slowly as each of their individual families grew, now practically all estranged. Father was always out and about, mother and Frances here raising us. I knew I never wanted to marry a man like my father–distant, cold, unyielding to anyone but his love. Stubborn. Arrogant. Prideful.
But I knew beneath all of those negative qualities there had to be some sort of redeeming quality or qualities, or my saint of a mother would never have married him. My mother, as my brother has said before, is everything our father is not. She is kind, warm, meek, and humble. She is frugal where father is frivolous, gentle where he is rough. It was never a secret, though, that us children always came second compared to either of them. Neither of them made that a secret. When I was younger, I thought their infatuation and besottedness with one another to be romantic. Now I found it repugnant.
I felt as though I always fell between the cracks the most out of my other siblings. Peter would always be the blessed first child, the twins would always cause a ruckus and Claire and, now, Anthony, would always be the babies.
At sixteen, I suppose it was time for me to start thinking of one day having my own family. Being the daughter of Thomas Shelby brought countless boys to our door, but father shooed any of them away that I didn’t want to have contact with. And I didn’t want to have contact with any of the ones who had showed up at our doorstep thus far.
Mother had told me recently it was time that I started attending social events, to get to know people better. I didn’t want to. I just wanted to be alone. After being in isolation for so long, the thought of being out there, with others, seemed intimidating.
Two days later, mother emerged from her bedroom, bathed and dressed. Weak still, Father carried Anthony down the stairs behind her.
“Good morning, Kate.” she smiled at me.
“Good morning,” I replied dryly. “How’re you feeling?” I asked.
“I feel better everyday, but I’m still tired.” she said, and I could see it in her face. The fatigue.
Isabel and William had already gone for their lessons that day, at the other end of the house. Mine were not scheduled to begin for another hour.
“I’m going to go walk around with him for a bit, love. Stretch my legs. I’ll be back shortly.” Father said, pressing a kiss to my mothers temple before he walked down the corridor, towards his office and the library.
“Kate,” my mother said gently, lowering herself into the chair next to me. “I’m sorry.”
My brow scrunched. “For what?” I asked.
My mother fiddled with her fingers in her lap, a habit she had when she was nervous–apprehensive. “I know I haven’t been as attentive to you as I should, and I am truly sorry.”
The tears in her eyes tore at my heart. “It’s alright, mother, you have six children and father and the business and with Sophie coming into the family, and–”
“And it’s all no excuse. I am a wife and a mother first and foremost and I have failed at the mother part,” she told me, reaching over and putting her hands on top of mine. “I’m sorry, Kate.”
“It’s okay. I haven’t been a very good daughter to you or Father.” I admitted. “We will be better together?” I offered.
“Yes. Better together, my sweet girl.” Mother said, squeezing my hands and smiling at me.
She removed her hands from mine, sitting back in the chair, sighing as she allowed her back to relax into the cushions on the chair.
“The Jones family is having that party next week, Mother,” I started. “I was wondering if you would help me pick a dress?”
“You’re going?” she asked, turning her head to face me.
“I probably should.” I replied.
A smile spread on her face. “I’d love to, Darling. Give me a few more days and we can go to London and pick the perfect one. Don’t tell your father yet, though. He’s having the hardest time with you growing up.” she said, turning again to face the fire.
“He is?” I asked, surprise in my tone.
She nodded. “You’re his first girl, Kate, and you grew up right in front of his eyes. He didn’t even get to catch most of it. He knows you’ll be engaged soon enough. Start your own life.”
“It’s his fault he didn’t catch most of it.” I snapped, ruining the sweet moment with my mother.
“Katherine!” mother yipped at me, sitting upright in her chair, eyes ablaze. “That was uncalled for. Your father loves you and has worked very hard so you can have the life you do.”
“Yes but he’s sacrificed being not present for his own ambitions.” I spat back.
My mother licked her lips, fury growing inside her. “Do you know what your father came from?”
“How would I? He never talks to me about who he was, is or wants to be.” I told her, not meeting her fiery gaze.
“Then I will make sure that he does.” she said, getting up from her seat and walking away, no doubt, to find my father.
A few days later, I was sitting in my room, reading my novel for lessons, and my father knocked on the door. “Kate! Let’s go, we’ve got to get to the city.” he said from outside the door.
I opened it, eyebrows furrowed together. “The City? For what?” I asked.
“Your dress for the Jones’ party this weekend.” he said, lighting a cigarette, an air of annoyance about him.
“Mother was supposed to take me.” I argued.
“She isn’t feeling well and asked me to take you.”
“Why can’t Frances?”
“Because Frances needs to look after the children. Will you please get your shoes on so we can go, please?” he said, breathing smoke out of his nostrils. I rolled my eyes and went to my closet to retrieve my shoes. “I’ll meet you out front.” he called.
Father had chosen to drive us himself to the city, I deduced by Simmons leaning on the drivers side door and talking to Father while he waited for me. I climbed in the passenger side and slammed the door, earning an annoyed look from my father.
“Enjoy your day, Mr. Shelby!” Simmons said, waving goodbye to Father and I.
The ride was quiet and tense, my father able to tell I did not want to go, but knowing I didn’t have the energy to put up a fight.
He dropped me off in front of one of my favorite dress shops and said he would be back shortly, that he needed to get something for the babies.
I picked out my dress and by the time he was back, I was waiting for him to pay for it at the front.
“Mr. Shelby!” the store clerk beamed. Why women always found my father irresistible I would never understand. “Your daughter picked out a beautiful dress.”
“Wonderful,” he said flatly, disinterested in the clerk's advances, as she batted her eyelashes at him. “How much do I owe?”
Her expression fell as she told him the total. He didn’t bat an eye as he pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and paid the clerk, bid her good day and ushered me out of the shop.
The way home he took a different way home, leading us through a run down, muddy town. “Where are we?” I asked as the car drove between rows of houses.
“This is Small Heath. Watery Lane to be exact. Where I’m from.” he told her. “That,” he pointed at a particular house. “Was my boyhood home, with my Aunt Polly.”
I faintly remember my gypsy aunt. She was a force to be reckoned with, and one of the few people who could give my father a run for his money.
“You lived here?” I asked, looking around at all the people staring at us.
“Mhm,” he mumbled. “Hard to believe?”
“I’ve always known you as who you are now, that’s all.” I explained, chewing the inside of my cheek.
“We were poor, and the war didn’t help anything. I came back and everything was destitute. Started running the business, took it over from my brother, Arthur. Met your mother. My whole life changed in a year.” he smiled faintly to himself.
He started the engine back up, launching into story after story of his childhood, of his estranged brothers, of his selfish father who I had never met. Vague stories of his time in the war. He told me of his medals he had won, of his rank in the army.
By the time we returned home, I knew more of my father than I did before, and I saw a small piece of the reason why my mother loved him as much as she did.
Over the rest of my adult years that I had with my father, I would come to find more of those pieces of why my mother adored him, and began to adore him in my own right, as his daughter.
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ayowhatnah · 11 months
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divinekangaroo · 1 month
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just enough to let me drown - pettiot - Peaky Blinders (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
Ch 1 | Ch 2 | ? | ?
During S6-E5, starting with Tommy meeting Diana at the narrowboat, how he gets back to Arrow, that particular Dinner, through to Tommy returning home after dropping Jack Nelson off at the train.
Tommy was running out of women who didn’t look like other women. If Lizzie found out, he’d have only redheads left to fuck in his old age.
No. No old age. Only this.
.
Diana Mitford/Tommy Shelby, Past Oswald Mosley/Tommy Shelby, Tommy Shelby/Lizzie Stark, Past Oswald Mosley/Lizzie Stark, Jack Nelson, Charles Strong, Small Heath Sex Worker | Reference to Incest, Dehumanisation, Cigarette Burns, Disassociation, Racism, Class Issues, Intrusive Thoughts, Extremely Dubious Consent, Post Rationalisation, Flashbacks, Dyfunctional Relationship, Self Harm, Oral Trauma, Trauma, Plausible Deniability, Close POV/Unreliable Narration, Horrible Dinner Parties, Prostitution, Shame, Hurt/Comfort, Eating Inedible Objects, Vomiting, Pre-Seizure Markers, Where Fascism becomes a Personally Targetted Sexual Nightmare, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Falling Off the Wagon, Unreliable Memory, Hoarding, Orgasm Control, Innuendo, Ethnic Slurs, Trying (so fucking hard!) to Communicate (emotion is the enemy of oratory!), Spiralling, Purposeful Ambiguity, Failed Love Confession/s
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willsdreamgirl · 10 months
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“morning mr. shelby.” — tommy shelby x reader ⋆。˚
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tommy shelby x fem!reader
you meet tommy as a nurse during the war, but happens when he realizes that he’s known you all along? (loosely based around some s1 plot points, but all set before the war)
18+ minors dni please! angst, fluff and smut
cw: mentions of war, shooting, stabbing, suturing, ptsd, friends to lovers, eventual smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!), slight breeding kink
word count: 5.4k+ (sorry lmao)
a/n: ahh first fic alert!! i’m so excited for you guys to read this! don’t be a ghost reader and lmk if you want to be added to my tag list for future tommy/cillian stuff!! 💌
you met tommy shelby during the war. he was a soldier, you were a wartime nurse. before the war, you had obviously heard of him. tommy shelby, leader of the fucking peaky blinders. arrogant bastards.
you lived in small heath, and everyday you’d pass him on the street. and everyday, you’d smile and say, “morning, mr. shelby.” and everyday, he would barely look up at you. you were sure he wasn’t even aware of your existence. prick.
your parents had always told you to stay away from the shelby boys. your dad would say that “they’re dangerous and make whores out of innocent girls” and your mum would make some comment about “the shelby men and their stupid cocks and their stupid judgements”.
they were the most intimidating people in all of small heath, possibly in all of birmingham. truth be told, there was a certain charm to them that you couldn’t shake off. well, to one of them. tommy shelby. you couldn’t tell if it was because he was your age, or because he was powerful and strong, or simply because he was strictly off limits. or because of his piercing blue eyes.
everyone in small heath knew tommy. but you knew tommy. he didn’t know you, though. you could tell if was him by the way he exhaled or by the sound of his footsteps or by the way he held a cigarette in his hand, the peaked cap on his head, a hand in his coat pocket. you despised tommy shelby, but god, was he fucking irresistible.
when men were drafted for the war in france, it was common sense that they’d need someone to tend to their cuts and bruises. you’d decided to volunteer, and after a couple weeks of training, you were right there, in the field. practicing on dolls and bags of rice and flour was nothing compared to what you saw. what you heard.
your first day in france was… eventful, to say the least. some commander had led you to the medical tent, and you were welcomed by the screams of hurt soldiers, blood and panic. you were immediately assigned to a patient, who’d been shot in the chest. you tried your best, did everything you could have, but ultimately, he had just lost too much blood. you didn’t sleep that night, haunted by the bloodshed, by the pleas of the soldier to keep him alive, by the feeling of someone else’s blood on your hands. over time, however, you grew accustomed to having your pristine white uniform soiled with blood and mud.
a month or so after you’d started, you heard shouts outside the tent. “help! someone HELP, for FUCK’s SAKE!” this was a regular occurrence, but the voice the shouts came from didn’t sound wounded. you felt an instinctual need to go see what it was.
what you saw, though, was something you never expected to see. tommy shelby, with a comrade’s head in his lap, putting pressure on a wound in his shoulder. without hesitating, you helped tommy drag the soldier to a vacant bed in the tent. “what happened?” you asked, hurriedly. tommy was visibly panicked. “i- he- um, he got st-stabbed by… one of the germans… his name’s danny- daniel.” you looked in tommy’s eyes, trying to give him some semblance of comfort. “he’ll be okay.” you applied pressure on the wound, and luckily, the blood stopped flowing soon. you cleaned the wound up and looked to tommy. “i’m gonna have to disinfect the wound with alcohol, you might want to hold daniel down for this.” daniel was still delirious from the blood loss, but the pain would be excruciating. tommy braced himself. his hands firmly holding down daniel’s. you nodded before tipping the bottle over on the wound. danny thrashed around on the bed, screaming and cursing, struggling against tommy’s hold. you heard his voice over danny’s. “you’re alright, lad! y’er gonna be fine!”
tommy sat by his friend’s bedside as he came to. you tended to other patients in the meantime but eventually went over to talk to him. “i want to keep him here for the night, mr. shelby. make sure there’s no infection.” he looked at you, surprised you knew him. “you know who i am?” “of course i do, all of small heath knows you. what i didn’t expect was to have a run-in with you, here in france.” he scoffed at his own misery and spoke. “you don’t belong here. you should be home.” you rolled your eyes, even in his state, he managed to be cocky. “if i wasn’t here today, mr. shelby, who would save danny?” that seemed to shut him up. he was about to speak, before you heard your name from the other side of the tent. “y/n, we need you!” after having helped a soldier who looked like he had been mauled, you looked out to see it was nightfall, and tommy had left.
a couple days later, at about noon, john shelby, the youngest of the shelby brothers walked in, clutching his arm tightly. “do you need help, mr. shelby?” you called out. “yes, i-i’ve been shot.” he all but whispered. you rushed over with a tray of distilled alcohol, forceps and bandages. after an afternoon of agony and pain, you had finally managed to pull out the bullet form his arm, john’s face a clear representation of his relief. “oh my god love, if we were home, i’d marry you right now.” you laughed at the proposition. “mr. shelby, i think you’re still a bit delirious from the anaesthesia. besides, i’m your brother’s age.” he looked shocked. “what, you’re arthur’s age? really?? you look nothing like that old prick.” you couldn’t help but laugh yet again. “i’m not that old, jesus. i’m tommy’s age.” he sighed. “marry him then. lord knows he needs a girl.” you giggled as you gathered your things and walked away. “you amuse me far too much, mr. shelby.”
it felt like ages had passed before you saw tommy again. your back was towards the tent entrance but you knew who had walked in. his breath trembled and his footsteps felt a bit unsteady, but it was undoubtedly him. you waited to turn until he called out your name. “y/n, is it?” you turned around, to find his face and shirt covered in blood. “mr. shelby! what happened?” you rushed over to him, taking his hand and sitting his down on a bed. “i- i… killed a man today, y/n.” he looked down, he couldn’t bring himself to look at you. you didn’t respond, simply got up and grabbed a stitching kit and a bowl of warm water. “is all this blood yours?” was your first question. “no. most of it is his.” you sighed and searched his face to find a cut on his cheekbone, the source of his own bleeding. “i’m wiping away the blood now, okay?” tommy gulped and nodded, his eyes still trained on the ground. “mr. shelby, i want you to look at me.” it was as if he didn’t hear you. you spoke again, softer yet more authoritative this time. “tommy. look at me.” he finally brought himself to look into your eyes. in his eyes, you saw guilt, regret and fear. in yours, he saw compassion, love and a warmth that could engulf all his pain. “good.” you whispered. you wrung out a washcloth and began wiping the blood away from his face, using your other hand to hold his chin in place. his arms found themselves wrapped around your waist, in an attempt to ground himself. you didn’t say anything, but your eyes told him that you didn’t mind. in that moment, you saw a different version of tommy shelby. you didn’t see ‘tommy, the criminal’, ‘tommy, the gangster’ or ‘tommy, the womanizer’. you saw tommy, a good man, an honest man. you felt his arms tighten around your waist as you pulled your hands away from his face, as if he was afraid you would dissipate into thin air. “tommy.” you whispered. “i’m gonna have to stich that wound up. it might hurt.” but he didn’t mind pain, not if you were the one inflicting it. “okay.” he spoke, his voice deep. he rubbed circles into your skin with his thumbs, the pain making him hum. “sorry, almost done.” you finished the last stitch. “there. you’re all fixed.” tommy held you like that, his hands around your waist, icy blue eyes staring into yours. your arms rested on his shoulders and you leaned down to whisper to him. “tommy. people are staring.” “so? let them.” eventually, he reluctantly pulled away from you. “it’s time for dinner, and then lights out.” he smiled as he spoke, and slowly exited the tent, catching a glimpse of you as he left.
needless to say, you only grew closer over the next few weeks. you were inseparable. whenever tommy had free time, he’d make his way to the familiar tent, and talk to you. it was wartime. you were left hurt and traumatized and so was he, but you both found solace in each other’s company. you told him how you knew him, and how you’d wish him good morning every day, only to receive complete silence from him each time. he chuckled and apologized. he told you about the peaky blinders, what they did, how they ran their business. you bonded over your shared hunger for knowledge and stories. you told him everything you knew about art, history and literature; and he told you stories of fighting gangs in the streets and stealing contraband. his stories were always more thrilling than yours. you’d try to set each other up with people for fun. you’d introduce him to every nurse, telling them how he was fighting for his country, and of course, they fell prey to his charming eyes and dashing smile. they’d ask what he did back home, and as soon as you said the words ‘gangster’, they’d run in the opposite direction. he’d done the same for you. introduced you to other soldiers, and when you spoke to them, about art and literature, they’d call you ‘unladylike’ or ‘too ambitious for a man’. you both secretly liked it this way, it was like you were his and he was yours.
when he became sergeant major, you both celebrated together. he’d brought you a bottle of whiskey, and you spent the night, talking and giggling drunkenly. but soon, he was assigned to be a sapper and dig tunnels. you both knew that the germans were going to dig their own tunnels, and at some unfortunate point, the tunnels would converge. both of you realized the danger it held, but he had to do it. you tried to talk him out of it, though. “tommy, please!” “y/n, calm down.” “goddamn it tommy, think! you’re gonna get yourself killed! what the fuck are you doing?” “i’ll be alright.” “no, you won’t! what if you get hurt? what if they shoot at you, huh? i won’t be there underground to make sure you’re okay!” “y/n, i have to serve my country. i have to do this.” “tommy. i’m begging you, don’t do this.” he simply sighed and kissed your forehead and held your face in his hands. you held tightly onto his wrists as tears threatened to spill from your eyes. “shhh, i’ll be alright. in fact, i’ll write you.” you seemed to calm down at the idea of him writing you. at least you’d be updated on his condition.
the morning he went down to the tunnels, he came to see you. you were sorting gauze and bandages when you felt his presence near you. you turned around and ran to hug him. he buried his face in your neck and breathed you in. you could feel tears brimming your eyes. neither of you knew why you felt like this. you were just friends, right? “tommy michael shelby, i swear to god if you die, i’ll kill you myself.” you heard him chuckle. he took a step back and caressed your cheek. “you take care, darling.” you wished he wouldn’t leave, but in your heart, you knew he had to. a few hours after, you found a letter tucked under a book on your desk. you curiously pulled it out and opened it.
dearest y/n,
i know how much you hate that i’m going to be a sapper now. i want you to know, no matter what happens down there, i care for you, and i love you, unconditionally. i’ve loved you since the day i first met you. i can’t believe i was looking for love in whores and prostitutes when the love of my fucking life was saying the sweetest good morning to me every morning. i’ll protect myself, and i want you to protect yourself too since i can’t do that for the time being. if we survive this wretched war, i want to take you home, ask your father for your hand and marry you, sweetheart. you take care of yourself, alright?
all my love,
tommy shelby.
you couldn’t help but gasp at what you read. he loved you. tommy shelby loved you. the same tommy shelby that was too arrogant to say a word to you, the same tommy shelby that your parents told you to stay away from, the same tommy shelby was head over heels for you. you immediately looked for a piece of paper, a pen and some ink. you wrote a letter back and sent it with one of the workers heading down to the tunnels. you didn’t know what it was like down there, but you hoped your letters would keep him sane. meanwhile, tommy received your letter and opened it with the same enthusiasm you showed his letter. however, he was also filled with nervous energy. he had confessed his love for you, which was so incredibly out of character for him, but with shaky hands, he proceeded to open the letter.
dearest tommy,
to say that your letter was shocking would be an understatement. i never knew you felt this way for me. like i’ve told you on several occasions, my parents always told me to stay away from ‘your kind’ and as a good catholic girl, i obeyed them. but tommy, in these few months, i’ve seen a side of you i can’t ever forget. i love you too tommy, the real you. the honest, raw, genuine tommy that i get to see on late nights and in random moments on busy days. i’d love to marry you, just make it out alive of that damn tunnel, you prick.
only yours,
y/n.
tommy felt his eyes welling up as he read the words you had penned on the paper. it had been so long since he’d seen you, or heard your voice. he wanted you. he needed you. to keep him stable and sane. as the days passed, your and tommy’s letter exchange became more and more frequent, and you felt like even if you were in this goddamned lawless land of blood and chaos, you had tommy. and he was all you needed.
that was, until the letters slowed down. you kept writing him, but to no avail. he hadn’t sent you a letter in days, or weeks, you weren’t sure anymore. you’d almost lost hope, and spent entire nights grieving him. trying to remember the sound of his voice, the feeling of his hands on your waist, the smell of his cologne. you hadn’t heard his breath or felt his footsteps in a long time. the pain was almost unbearable, and some days felt like decades. but the only thought that kept you going was that you saw tommy in all the wounded soldiers you treated. they were someone’s tommy. and they needed to get home alive.
4 months. 4 whole months since you heard from tommy. you were convinced he was dead now. you spent your days bandaging and stitching wounds, yet you could never fix the wound tommy left in your heart. it was one of the hottest afternoons, the french sun blazing unmercifully. you were insanely busy with patients today, the war was almost ending, and the soldiers needed to be fixed up before they could go home. yet, no sign of tommy. you sighed, cursing yourself for holding out hope now for someone who would not return.
“can i have a nurse here?” you could recognize that damn voice anywhere. the deep voice that filled your ears, smooth like honey, you’d recognize that voice at the end of the world. you turned around. tommy. “hi, love.” he smiled. but his smile quickly changed into a frown when he saw your sobs. you took him to a quieter corner of the tent. you stepped closer to him. he went to put his arms around you. you slapped him across the face. “where. the FUCK were you, thomas michael shelby?!” he was incredibly confused. “l- love, what?” “i thought YOU DIED, YOU BASTARD. where were you?” the time you spent apart had changed you, and from his response, you could tell it clearly changed him. “i was TRYING to fucking STAY ALIVE for YOU.” he raised his voice at you. he never raised his voice. neither of you spoke for a while and tension filled the air between the two of you. “i should leave.” he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. he left, and you let him.
after a few weeks, news broke that britain had won the war, and everyone went home. five years had passed since you last saw the familiar streets of small heath, and you were no longer a girl, but a woman. a woman who needed to get a job to survive in this city. you walked around and saw a flyer on the doors of the garrison. ‘BARMAID NEEDED.’ you walked in to find harry. he looked up pleasantly surprised. “y/n! haven’t seen you in a while, eh? what can i do you for?” “i’m here to get the barmaid job, harry.” he sighed.” y/n, this job isn’t suitable for a girl like you. these men, they’ve just come back from war, they haven’t seen a girl, let alone a pretty one like yourself, in ages. they’ll have you up against a wall within the first hour of your shift.” you looked at him desperately. “harry, please. i need this job, otherwise i’ll be out on the streets, which are surely worse than this pub. i was a nurse in france, i’ve dealt with these men. please?” he sighed again before nodding. “alright then, you start tomorrow.”
your first shift consisted of the usual alcoholics, men with ptsd, everything that was to be expected after a war. you hear the bells at the door ring as the familiar footsteps walk closer to the bar. without turning around, you ask, “what do you want?” he replies, “whiskey, scotc- y/n?” you finally turn around at the sound of your name falling from his lips. “yes, mr. shelby. so, scotch? on the house right?” he leans over so that just the two of you can hear. “don’t mr. shelby me. come on, love, talk to me.” “i have nothing to talk to you about.” as you poured him a glass of whiskey, he held your wrist assertively. “y/n. come.” you rolled your eyes and went to the shelby’s private booth. “what is it that you want, tommy?” “what the fuck do you mean ‘what do i want’? you, i want YOU. i need you. did ya lose your fucking mind in france like danny whiz-bang?” you felt your bottom lip trembling and your throat choking up. “i… i thought y- you were fucking dead. i mourned you. for MONTHS. i grieved over the death of the love of my life. of my future husband. of my future children that i’d have with him. and then, just as i’m making my peace with it, YOU have the fucking audacity to show up? you have some bloody nerve, tommy shelby.” the look in his eyes softened as he took a step closer to you. “no. don’t you dare come any closer to me, tommy, i’ll kill you.” you said, holding up the bottle of whiskey as a weapon. he embraced you, holding you tightly, his fingers stroking your hair. you resisted the hug and tried to push him away, only to find his grip on you getting tighter. “g- get away… from me, p- please… i- just” your voice came out muffled between sobs. tommy felt hot tears rolling down his own cheeks. “shhh, sweetheart. i’m okay, eh? i’m fine. i’m here, with you.” you dropped the bottle you were holding and it shattered into a million pieces on the ground. you stood there in his arms, crying for what felt like an eternity. you finally pulled away from him, and he wiped your tears with his thumbs. you laughed, but then lightly slapped his arm. “you scare me like that again, tommy, i swear i’ll kill ya.” “i’ll hold you to it, sweetheart.” he kissed your forehead, and you rested your forehead against his. he tentatively closed the gap between your lips and his, and you pulled him by the collar and kissed him with enough force to make him trip and fall. he managed to stay steady and kissed you back with equal fervour. he spoke between kisses. “i *kiss* spent *kiss* every *kiss* second *kiss* thinking *kiss* of you.” you giggled. “i missed you too, tommy.”
he told harry that you’d be leaving the bar early that day, and dragged you out the bar while holding your hand, a smile on his face for the first time in a long time. “the great thomas shelby isn’t embarrassed to have a barmaid as his girlfriend?” you giggled. “never. and those who think i should be embarrassed can suck me cock.” he spoke proudly. he opened the car door for you, and you sat inside and waited for him to turn the ignition on. “where are we going, tommy?” “i want you to meet my family, love.” during the countless hours you spent together chatting, he told you about his family’s idiosyncrasies and stories about them. how arthur needed to be protected the most during fights because he was just as likely to hurt himself as he was to hurt someone else, how aunty pol’s instincts about love were never wrong, how john once fell in love with a prostitute and everyone laughed at him, how ada was the most rebellious and married a communist (who happened to be in of his best mates), and how finn always pretended to act like tommy, doing whatever his big brother did. you were excited to meet them of course, but anxious. they would be your family one day too.
he held your hand as he brought you in, everyone sitting around a table waiting for him. “does everyone just sit together like this?” you asked. “uh, no i called a family meeting for 3 pm.” tommy replied simply. “how did you know you’d be able to have me here by 3?” he winked at you. “i have my ways. and i know how much you love me.” he spoke in a singsong voice. you rolled your eyes at his schoolboy behaviour and waited for him to speak. “shelby’s, this is my girlfriend and soon to be fiancé, y/n.” he held his arm around your waist proudly, and you leaned up to kiss his cheek. you recognized arthur and john immediately from your time in the war. you assumed that the older woman was aunt polly, and the younger with the baby in her arms would be ada, leaving the youngest member of the family, finn. john came up to talk to you first, while tommy spoke with polly. “you know i didn’t really mean the ‘marry tommy’ thing?” you laughed as you replied, “i didn’t either, but fate works in weird ways, eh?” he agreed with you before talking to tommy. arthur was the next one to see you. “you and tommy, eh? if it wasn’t for the war, you two would probably never have met. i s’pose war isn’t all bad then.” “perhaps you’re right. i did find your brother to be arrogant before the war.” “that he is, y/n. that he is.” both of you looked over at him, engaged in conversation with everyone else. you fussed over the baby in ada’s arms. “awww, he’s precious! what’s his name?” “karl, after karl marx.” you shot her a look. “it’s unconventional, i know. but freddie really wanted it.” “it’s lovely.” finn rushed over to you and kissed your hand. you gushed exaggeratedly. “what a gentleman you are, finn!” “if tommy wasn’t here, you’d be my girlfriend, miss y/n.” you laughed at his childishness and ruffled his hair. “sure i would, finn.” the only person you hadn’t spoken to yet was aunt polly, arguably the most intimidating person of the family. “i have one question for you, y/n. how you answer it will determine if you’re fit for being a shelby. how do you think i kept this business up and running during the war?” you felt put on the spot but tried your best to answer. “um, well, to be quite frank, i’ve believed that women are better at business anyway. we know how to settle deals with whiskey and not fists or guns. and you seem like twice the man than most men i know anyway.” her lips twitched up into a smile as she looked to tommy. “oh, i like her already.” he held your hand in hers, and addressed tommy. “she seems like a lovely girl, do not fuck this up tommy.” tommy shook his head and laughed. “i’ll try, pol. i’ll try.”
you ate dinner with the shelby’s before you headed up to his house. “you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?” he asked for the hundredth time that night. “no tommy, i’m perfectly content spending the night with you. unless you’d like me to leave?” you questioned. “no no, stay, please!” he said, almost pleadingly. you looked around his bedroom when you reached his home. it was obviously a house, but it didn’t feel like a home. you frowned at your observation. “what’s wrong, y/n?” “this house isn’t a home yet, tommy.” “that’s because i want my first home to be with you. with our children. and as far as i’m concerned, you are my home.”
“care to dance?” he asked, holding out his hand. you looked at the gramophone in the corner. “that doesn’t look like it works, love.” you placed your hand in his. “so what? we can dance without music.” he said, holding your waist close to him, your hand on his shoulder. you leaned your head on his shoulder, both of you dancing in the silence, listening to the sound of each other’s breathing. “kiss me, tommy.” you whispered. he obeyed probably for the first time in his life and kissed your soft lips.
things escalated and you were now on tommy’s bed, tracing the sun tattoo on his chest, with him on top of you. “fuck me, tommy, please.” “your cunt wants this cock?” he growled. you moaned in his ear. “fuck, yes tommy, make me yours.” he stretched you out in the most blissful way. of course, you had used your fingers before, but nothing could replace the feeling of his cock. “god, please!” you moaned out, words slowly turning into incoherent sounds. tommy chuckled. “god can’t hear you now, sweetheart. not here.” he pistoned his hips into you just right and it wasn’t long before he found the spot inside you that made you scream. “t- tommy fuck! right there, please don’t stop!” “i wouldn’t dream of stopping, darling. my girl, so pretty all spread out for me. take it, love. take that cock.” the feeling of your impending orgasm coursed through your entire body, making you writhe in pleasure. “god, i’m so close tommy!” “good fucking girl.” his hand reached down to rub circles on your clit while he fucked you so good. “oh god, tommy, i’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow…” “that’s the plan, sweetheart.” he spoke as he kissed hickeys on your neck, matching the ones you’d given him earlier. “come on love, make a mess on my cock.” as soon as he said that, you felt yourself falling apart, the tight band in your stomach snapping, uncontrollable moans of his name falling from your lips. “thank you tommy, thank you so much.” you moaned, drunk on the feeling of his cock inside you. “such an angel. who do you belong to, sweets?” he said, still pounding your cunt. “y- you, tommy. i belong to you!” “that’s right, sweetheart.” he whispered in your ear, “i love you, darling.” you moaned as you felt your second orgasm approaching. “tommy, fuck! i- i love you too!” “god i’m gonna cum inside you! you’d like that, eh? me getting you pregnant, all nice and round with my baby?” you felt your orgasm pulsing through you at his words. “yes, tommy! fill my womb up, please! i need it!” you heard tommy’s loud moans as he came inside you. “oh, such a good girl. took my cock so well, love.” tommy stayed on top of you for a while, his cock still inside you. “i’ve wanted to do that for five fucking years.” he spoke, voice muffled since his head was buried between your tits. you laughed, but the laughs quickly turned to moans as your sensitive cunt felt friction from tommy’s cock rubbing up against its walls. he pulled out of you slowly, watching his seed spill out of you. he eventually got up to get a warm washcloth and a glass of water for you. you drank the water as he cleaned you and himself up and pulled you into his chest. you pulled the covers over both of you, feeling your body flush against his. “that was amazing tommy, thank you.” “the pleasure is all mine, sweetheart.” he kissed your forehead.
ever since tommy came back from france, he had these recurring nightmares every night. of his time in the tunnels. the germans. his comrades. how he had to kill people with his bare hands. he could still hear the shovels digging the tunnels when he closed his eyes. when he was with you though, he could finally fall asleep. or so he thought.
you were awoken in the middle of the night by the sounds of a gasping tommy, suddenly sitting up. you felt groggy for a moment, having just woken up, but quickly sprung into action. you sat next to him, rubbing his back. “tommy, what’s wrong?” he didn’t speak. but he didn’t need to. you’d seen enough cases of ptsd from your time in the war to know what was happening to him. “you still see it, eh?” he only nodded. you laid back down and pulled him into your chest. he protested. “what are y-” “shut up.” you could tell, he was still a bit frantic, his breath still heavy. you spoke to him in a soft tone and you played with his fingers, his head on your chest. “listen to me. listen to the sound of my voice. feel my body against yours. you are home. you are safe. the war is over. the nightmares are just parts of your mind trying to scare you. but you’re stronger than that, eh? i’m here with you, and you don’t need to be scared. alright? i’m here with you, always.” he hummed, heavy eyelids slowly closing shut. being able to smell the scent of your perfume helped ground him. “good job, tommy. now sleep. i’ll be here with you when you wake up.” you managed to get him to go to sleep, but somehow convinced your mind to let you sleep light enough that if tommy were to have another nightmare, you’d be up immediately. fortunately, he didn’t wake up during the night.
he woke up to the sight of a sleeping you, the sun rays hitting you just right. he swore he could look at you forever. you felt his gaze on you and slowly opened your eyes. “how’d you sleep?” you asked. “like i hadn’t slept in years.” he replied.
“morning, mr. shelby.” you wished him, as you did, every day before the war. except this time, you were in his arms, in his bed. you kissed his lips softly. except this time, he finally wished you back.
“mornin’, sweetheart.”
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padfootdaredmetoo · 2 years
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Hey 👋 I’m not too sure if your doing requests( if not completely ignore this it’s fine:)) but I was requesting a peaky blinders one-shot where reader is like an orphan and lives in an orphanage and tommy the philanthropist he is goes down to the orphanage with Polly,John,Arthur,and Ada and whoever else you want and they see reader going at it with on of the sisters. You could choose the conflict or their argument but yeah, if you could draw the reader as someone who’s quick and sarcastic with their words like a speak before thinking type of person you know. Also can this be like a tommy Shelby x daughter!reader kinda like a found family kind of trope. Sweet kisses love your stories❤️
Dear Anon,
I hope this does it justice!! I changed a few things because I felt like it fit the story better (I hope that's alright) but there is lots of family stuff. And lots of Lizzie and Tommy - not something I have ever written before so hopefully that's also alright. Sweet kisses back to you love, thank you for this wonderful idea!!!
Warnings: peaky type stuff, religious language? Implied that a priest was going to assault the reader, bad words, not descriptive death of parents, mentioned death of a baby, grief, so much sweetness and hurt comfort and hopefully laughs. I promise it's not as dark or sad as it sounds. Also some Grace bashing / group hate.
Word count: 6606 - may have gotten carried away...
Part 2
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Tommy watched Lizzie closely as they approached the large building. According to his sources it housed around a hundred and fifty children, the building was large but it didn't seem that large. 
It was gray and rainy, much like every day. The dark dampness didn’t bother him as it had seeped into his bones and made a home long ago. At this point, he was convinced that the sunlight would simply cause him to turn to ashes if it ever reached his skin. 
Lizzie looked nervous but that was expected, he felt beyond nervous. Suddenly hoping she would change her mind altogether. Children were overrated, he would know having raised Finn and half of John's kids. But after her she lost the baby, he would do anything to bring some happiness to her. He knew he wasn't the best husband, but he was trying to do better every day. 
Walking up the steps a voice in his mind started to remind him that he would only be bringing this baby into a world of danger and horror. Only going to ruin them so no God would allow them refuge. He pushed them down as best he could, reaching out to hold Lizzie’s hand. She looked taken back at the gesture, another thing wrong with them. Wrong with the situation. 
They were escorted in to look at the babies. They were just as expected, plump, cute, and small. Tommy tried not to look at them too close, no point in getting attached. Lizzie would pick a baby, and he would attempt to be a good father. 
He hated that he knew what it felt like to reach out for parents that were not there to hold you. He was sulking when a commotion caught his attention. 
“For Fucks sakes woman! ” A girl shouted. 
“You listen here. Father Stryker is a noble member of this community and organization. You will do what he asks of you.” A woman responded in a cold tone. 
“We both know that’s not what God would want you old bat.” The girl snapped back and he held back a smile. 
“Now you listen here, we do not know what God wants, that’s not our place. He has a way -” 
“No, he sure as hell doesn't. God would NEVER.” The girl demanded. “I thought God was in all of us, and GOD doesn't want me to be alone with him. In fact, I would say he’s overcome with passion about the issue. It would be a sin for me to ignore his protests.” 
“I will not tolerate such language, you foul girl!” The sound of a slap was dealt out. Tommy felt an odd feeling of unease about the situation. 
“You let this happen! You. And you will BURN FOR IT. Mark my words, you will suffer an eternity for his sins. There are no amount of crosses under the sun for Jesus to croak on that would make up for your grotesque choices you evil witch.” The girl's voice was pure venom, and Tommy was overcome with an urge to protect the girl. What type of place were they running here? 
“I want her,” Lizzie said clearly standing next to him looking at the Sister that was showing them around. 
“Sorry Mrs. Shelby ?” She asked looking for clarification. 
“The girl in the hall.” He looked at Lizzie landing her eyes on a girl that must have been about 15 standing off with the nun in the hallway. Her face was beet red, making her blue eyes seem extraordinarily bright in contrast,  her fists clenched ready for a fight of any size. That girl did not care what happened, she wasn't going to back down. 
“Ah, are you sure? She’s quite temperamental.” She responded looking embarrassed. 
“Excellent, I’ve never seen anyone look so much like my husband,” Lizzie said with a smirk on her face.  
“We’ll take her. And I’d like a word with management.” He asserted firmly. This was not the sort of thing he could look the other way on, plus it would only further the family image. Win-win. 
______________________________
Another sister came into the hallway. 
“Sister Margret, she has been requested by a family.” She said quickly. 
You were positive this must be some type of trap. But a tall angular woman moved into the hallway. She looked like someone from a painting, impossibly pretty, elegant, clothes worth a small fortune. This was impossible. 
The sister grabbed your arm and pulled you away from that bitch. Far away from the classroom you were terrified of. 
The lady looked you up and down and removed the sister's hand from your arm. She shot her a warning look and the sister apologized. Whoever this woman was, she meant business. 
“I’m Lizzie, Lizzie Shelby.” She said in a voice that belonged on a stage. You introduced yourself feeling embarrassed. 
“We’d like to take you home if you're alright with that.” She asked holding her arm out. Normally you didn’t like being touched for any reason, but being escorted out of the place was a good enough reason for you to make an exception. 
You looped your arm in hers and she strode out of the place with her head held high. 
“The Paperwork -” The sister called out 
“Get my husband to deal with it.” She called back, her voice dripping with power. You accompanied her into a very expensive car. You sat in the back seat beside her and watched her take in your appearance as if it had changed being in the natural light. 
“Do you read?”  She asked you lighting a cigarette.
“I had a tutor before my parents died.” 
“How did they pass?” 
“Car accident.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
“Me too.” 
“We’ll expect you to go to school.” 
“You’d be a shit parent if you didn't.” You mentally kicked yourself. “Sorry I -didn't” You were stumbling over an apology as the door opened and a man got into the driver's seat. 
“That’s my husband. Thomas.” 
“Hello,” You said feeling completely deflated. “It’s nice to meet you, both of you, It’s nice.” You couldn't remember a time being so embarrassed. You wished that they would just run you over with their expensive tires. There were just too many emotions in such a short period. 
An hour ago a priest was forcing himself on you, telling you God would never allow you to get adopted, and here you were making a fool out of yourself with your new parents. 
That phrase stung so bad you visually imagined pushing it from your mind.
“Did you sort the paperwork?” Lizzie asked in a frosty tone that made you wonder what their relationship problems were like. 
“That and a few other things.” He responded in a tone you assumed only ghosts were capable of. 
“Like what?” She said looking out the window with resentment. 
“Taking the place over.” He responded easily. As if it was no big deal, like spending money on petrol for the car. 
“What do you mean?” This caught her off guard and you watched a bit of hopefulness come to life in her eyes. 
“Saw things.” He hesitated, obviously aware of your presence in the car. “That I didn’t think God would approve of.” You caught a slight smirk on his face in the mirror. His eyes told you it was easier to poke fun at the situation. 
Lizzie hummed in approval, and even though you’d only known them a few minutes it felt like progress. 
_______
They wanted to give you a few days to settle in before introducing you to the whole family. Something you saw as a bit of a red flag. The house was massive, but it was clean and quiet. Both a blessing and a curse. You were too shy to ask for something to do or go explore. Your bedroom was unbelievably beautiful, and warm. 
There was a knock on the door that caused you to jump. 
“Yeah?” 
“Can I come in?” Lizzie’s voice rang through the door. 
“Of course” You responded stiffly. She came in and smiled at you, she pointed to your bed but you didn't understand what she was looking at. Should you not have been laying on it during the day? 
“Is it alright if I sit?” She asked you and you realized that’s what she meant. 
“Yes!” You sat up straight feeling like an idiot once again. You’d had to sit through two dinners each equally painful due to your rambling. 
“How are you settling in?” She asked kindly. 
“Um, fine. It’s nice. I love my room.” 
“What do you get up to in here?” She looked around with a frown. 
“Mostly sitting and thinking.” You responded blandly. 
“Are you sure I can’t take you shopping for anything?” She’d asked at least three times, and you felt horrible imposing on them further. 
“I don't want to bother you.” You finally broke. She let out a strange laugh. 
“Bother me. All the time. Big stuff little stuff, doesn't matter.” She picked a piece of lint off of your bedspread. “Plus kids cost money you know. That’s no one's fault, so don’t carry it like a burden.” 
Your eyes stung with tears. That was not the narrative you had grown up with parents or none. You’d always been acutely aware of the burden your existence placed on people. Her words made you feel like you were special, not something your parents could give you. This brought on a very large mix of feelings. 
“Don’t cry, really all this is-”  Her face appeared displeased with your reaction and it only made your hurt more. 
“Normal. Not for me, it’s not. If you wanted a kid that was used to this you should have had one yourself.” the words flew out of your mouth and she was up and out of the room before you could try to apologize. You felt so much worse, you wanted to pull out all your hair trying to make it stop. 
You stopped trying to hold the tears back and got up off your bed to apologize. An embarrassing apology was better than them shipping you back. 
You followed the sound of her soft crying sounds. Through a door that was slightly ajar. It was a beautiful nursery. They had tried to have their little spoilt children, the guilt only became worse. 
You locked eyes with her and decided the truth was always best. 
“You treat me better than my parents. But they're dead and it hurts. I don't want to bother you both, it's already some kind of miracle that I got adopted at this age, I don't want to push my luck. Or live through you getting bored of me and then tossing me aside.” 
For a moment you thought she was going to shout at you. But she just nodded in understanding. You both were crying, so why not try to risk a hug. You got down on the sheep skin rug next to her and hugged her. 
Her grief wrapped around you with her slender arms. She pushed your face against her chest and kissed the top of your head. You didn't understand, but the hurt in her felt a lot like the hurt inside of you. So you leaned into the feeling crying just as hard. 
“I lost her. She was born and - nothing anyone could do about it.” She said after a long while. The thought made your heart break all over again. “They told me I couldn't have kids. Spent years avoiding it like it was the plague and now, God it hurts.” 
“I’m so sorry.” 
“I’m sorry for you too. My dad left before I was born, mother passed when I was 13. Prostitute till I was twenty.” She let out a sad laugh. “This life.” She motioned to the house with her arm. “Is not the life I came from and my husband doesn't have much. But he has money, so don’t ever feel bad for spending it.” You looked up at her in shock. There was no way she was telling the truth. She looked like she belonged in a palace like you wanted to trust her with the whole world. So elegant, kind eyes. 
“We’re the same then” you whispered. 
“Absolutely not!  If you become a prostitute I will have officially become the worst mother in history.” She said causing you both to laugh. 
“I’m not good with people.” You joked along. Tommy pushed the door open and you stiffened slightly. No matter how you tried to calm down, he made you uneasy. Like he would be impossible to please or get to know.
“It’s not a whore house?” He said with a confused look having caught the end of the conversation. You’d never seen a man look more confused as the both of you were tear-soaked holding each other on the floor. 
“Not anymore it's not.” Lizzie quipped causing him to almost smile. You wondered what made him so stuck up.
“Good lord, how did you guys make all this money again?” You asked cheekily, causing Lizzie to laugh. 
“Just you wait.” She said lightly, but you couldn't help but know already that it was not God’s work that placed them here.
“Come down for lunch?” he asked you both, still slightly put off by the situation. 
“Yes” she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands, you watched her walls of composure surround her once again. 
“Come on. Let’s see how much trouble we can get in before supper.” She said helping you up. 
_____________________________
You stopped by to pick up people on the way to the shops. 
“We’ll get Esme first. She’s John’s wife. Tommy’s younger brother - he made a deal with the Lee family - a bunch of gypsies - Tommy needed men, and she needed a husband. Technically I almost married John. It was a complicated time. But they both get along like a house on fire. She holds him down pretty good, probably the only reason he’s still alive.” You listened as she drove you through the countryside. “Then we’ll get Polly. She’s Tommy’s Aunt. She probably goes up against him the most. She’s some kind of Gypsy royalty, a very peculiar woman, but she means well. Hated Tommy’s first wife Grace. Well, we all hated Grace. Us women tend to stick together. We have to put up a good front against the boys or they raise hell like nothing else.” 
“You’re all gangsters then?” You asked her catching her slightly off guard. 
“Technically he’s a gangster turned politician. But trust me having been on the receiving end of both there really isn't a difference.” 
You blushed at her words and tried to hold your tongue. 
“I shouldn't have said that last part.” She flicked her cigarette case open and lit one up. “Forget I said that.” but you started laughing. You pulled up to a country-style house, chickens squawking loudly at the car engine. 
“Oi! That is not a baby!” A woman with wild curly hair approached the car. She slid into the backseat and you felt awkward sitting in the front. You looked at her looking you over. “Total babe, but not a baby.” She said with wide eyes in disbelief.
“She’s fifteen,” Lizzie responded looking at you like you were a brand new car. 
“Good lord. Going to have to beat the boys off of her. She’s pretty like you.” 
You blushed heavily at her words unsure of what to do with the attention. 
“Eh, as long as we keep her close I think we’ll manage just fine.” Lizzie smiled and turned the car around. 
“I’m Esme, I’m sure Lizzie caught you up to speed.” She lit a cigarette and smiled at you as you introduced yourself. She asked you lots of questions, about how you liked the place. 
“It’s cold. You can say it, love.” Esme blurted out. “It’s a monument to Grace. Should have been burnt down the second she left us.” You could tell this was a part of the stormy ocean of problems that rested between your adopted parents. You put that piece of knowledge into your back pocket. You pulled up to a stylish-looking complex and a woman in a black suit and sunglasses approached the car. 
“I was going to offer to babysit for you when you need a rest - but by the looks of it I’ll be asking you for help, love.” 
“How many kids do you have?” You asked while you waited. 
“Too fuckin’ many,” Polly responded climbing into the back seat. “I thought you asked Tommy for a baby, not a miniature replica of yourself?” 
“Come off it Pol,” Lizzie said starting the car. 
“I’m serious, I thought I was seein’ a bloody ghost. I’ve known you since you were the size of a potato, when I say she looks just like ya, I fuckin’ mean it.” 
You looked at Lizzie and wished you looked even a fraction of how beautiful she was. 
“How's he managing with this then? He was always good with the kids when they were little but I can’t imagine he’d know what to do with her.” Polly said stealing Esme’s cigarette. 
“Eh, like everything else, he’s adjusting.” Everyone seemed to find this funny. 
“You look at me, that boy gives you any trouble you call me alright. I’ll set him straight.” She was strong like Thomas but soft like Lizzie, and something distinctly her own. You could tell she was in charge. 
“Thank you.” You said sheepishly unsure of what else to say. 
“You're welcome, love,” She said kindly. 
Shopping was a lot. You cried on the way home and they had a unique way of comforting you while also making fun of you, making you laugh. Once you started laughing with them it seemed impossible to stop. You assumed that you would all pile into the sitting room, but instead, you piled into the kitchen, which quickly became your favorite space in the house. A large wooden table surrounded by something that felt so perfectly warm. Grace clearly didn’t touch this space much. 
They poured you cranberry juice and set into a bottle of whiskey. The jokes got worse as the night progressed and for once your sharp tongue and misplaced comments brought a great deal of joy. 
“Where did you find this girl!” Esme said between laughs 
“Fighting off a Nun in a hallway,” Lizzie replied still laughing from the joke before. Tommy and you assumed his brothers appeared in the doorway.
“Wow, Looks like you Lizzie, but with Tom’s eyes” John said, or you thought it was him because he went to stand behind Esme and she looked up at him in a way you hadn't seen before. 
“And his mouth.” Esme quipped and you hoped it was a compliment. He reached across the table to shake your hand. 
“John” 
“It’s nice to meet you” You introduced your self. Arthur came and gave you a crushing hug. 
“They got you out numbered now brother.” He joked letting you go to pour himself a glass of whiskey.
Tommy gave you a tense look, like he was worried about something. He took the seat next to you puting space between you and the boys. 
“Might be enough women to put some life back into this place.” Polly said with twinkling eyes. 
“I’ll try my best.” You responded quickly seeing that Tommy didn’t seem happy. 
He stuck close to your side, sliding glasses of Whiskey away from you as the boys started drinking. His youngest brother was only a few years older than you, and he showed up with a bunch more men that introduced themselves politely before joining into the savagery. 
You scooted your self along the bench to sit closer to Tommy not knowing the others well enough to want to sit as close. 
“Thank you, Lord, for blessing us with such a wonderful girl! May she shine bright for us in these dark times. To the newest Shelby!” Arthur’s voice boomed and your face turned bright red. Everyone finished a drink, but you caught Lizzie and Tommy sharing a look. 
Tommy put his arm around and you were grateful to have something to lean into with all the commotion. They were the loudest and rudest, most funny group of people you’d ever seen. 
“Think it’s time for bed, eh?” He asked you quietly and you nodded. 
“Alright! Clear out you lot. She’s got to get to bed. We can have a proper dinner tomorrow night!” Tommy called out causing a few groans. 
“But we just got here!” Finn mumbled.
Everyone said their goodbyes and goodnights to you moving out of the kitchen. Polly placed a kiss to your forehead. She said something in a different language, to which Tommy responded with a sharp nodd. 
Once everyone had piled out the front door, they took you up to your room. You hit the bed feeling more tired than you could ever remember.
_________________________________________
You slowly became more at ease around Tommy. Sitting alone at the table didn’t frighten you nearly as much. You heard him shout at people occasionally and that made you determined to keep your distance. 
It wasn't until Lizzie stayed away for a night getting stuck at Esme’s due to a storm. You assured her that you ate dinner and that everything was fine. In reality, you'd been sitting by the front window praying for her to come back. You hated storms and you’d just trusted that she’d be there and know what to do about it. 
Eventually you decided to retreat to your room to avoid any conflict. 
“Goodnight.” You poked your head into his study. 
“Night, love.” He responded kindly looking up from his papers. You thought about bothering him for a moment, telling him that you were scared. You decided to slip up to your bedroom instead. Girls your age didn't get scared of these types of things. 
Without Lizzie, there was an impending sense of doom about the place. Like there was pressure pushing down on you. Listening to things creak and shift, you had an idea that maybe without Lizzie here Grace’s ghost would try to snatch you up. 
Laying there listening to the storm and the house, your mind cooked up a story of revenge. Grace would kill you to get back at Lizzie for stealing her mourning husband. Maybe that’s why Lizzie’s baby wasn't born right. Your heart started to race as your stomach twisted.
There must have been some deeper story, Lizzie always seemed like she was very hurt by Grace, despite having come into Tommy’s life after. But Polly’s known Lizzie since she was a baby….
Questions were swirling in your mind non stop trying to make sense of it all. Your door made a horrid sscreeching sound and you let out a scream in response, pulling the blankets up above your head. 
“LEAVE ME ALONE GRACE.” You shouted hoping that it was enough that you could see it was her this whole time. She’d be deterred by your cleverness and the quilt Polly had made you. 
The quilt was tugged away from your face and you balled your fists ready to fight her off. However you looked up at Tommy’s horrified face instead. 
“I don’t do well with storms” You blurted out hoping that would make it better. You both looked at eachother for a moment.
“Let’s make some tea.” He said firmly. You knew that you’d fucked up and the last thing you wanted to do was have tea over the situation. You got up and he pulled your quilt around you, keeping his hand on your shoulder as you moved down the stair case. 
You watched him light a fire in the kitchen and grab two glasses and fill them with whiskey. 
He passed one to you and sat across from you, he took off his glasses and placed them on the table.
“Why do you think my first wife is out to get you?” He cut right to the chase.
“I got scared of the storm, and Lizzie is trapped, Grace- it’d be the perfect opportunity to get revenge on Lizzie for stealing her mourning husband.” You rushed the words out wishing you were dead. Tommy actually chuckled.
“That’s the story you’d been told then?” 
“No, just the one that made sense.” 
“How so?” He took a sip of whiskey. 
“Everyone says this place is some kind of shrine for her, Lizzie hates it. Hates her, why exactly,  I’m not sure but I know it’s because she’s hurt.” 
“Lizzie is hurt by Grace?” He asked with a wrinkled brow, you didn't think he was capable of such emotions. 
“That’s obvious.” You said sadly. He made a humming noise.
“I didn’t intend to marry Lizzie. She got pregnant and I married her.” He answered easily, suddenly you were very angry at him. Happy he did right by her and married her but - 
“Doesn’t mean she hasn’t always loved you.” You argued. 
“Is that so?” 
“Obviously. Have you ever looked at her? This place, the family, everything, me. Obviously.” You were dumbfounded. How on earth could someone so smart and sharp be so daft. “She puts up with a lot of shit around here. Not once has she ever mentioned leaving or hating you.” 
“Perhaps I should talk to her about it.” 
“You’d better. Everywhere we go men look at her.” You said trying to scare him into doing the right thing. 
“I’m sure they do, she’s a pretty woman.” He answered tensly. Suddenly you started to worry that maybe he wont ever love her, and if that was the case he would certainly never learn to love you. Panic started to wash over you.
“Do you want to watch the storm then?” 
“How?” You answered even more uneasy. He got up and you followed him through to the dark sitting room. He pulled the curtains open adding the slitghtest bit of light to the room. You helped him turn the couch around to face the big window. 
You watched him pour more wiskey and sit down motioning for you to do the same. Wrapped in Polly’s quilt you sat next to him and he put his arm around your shoulders.
“The only way to stop being scared is to face the thing that scares you.” He explained easily. He held you close to his side as you watched the dark figures of trees swaying violently. The lightening causing you to jump. Eventually things calmed down but you found yourself wishing that it would continue on so you could spend more time sitting like this. He just sat with you tucked into his side sipping his whiskey. 
“ I do care for you and Lizzie. More than anything.” He kissed the top of your head. “Things in the past weren't always easy or safe. Keeping her at arm's length seemed like the best way to keep her from ending up like Grace.” 
You listened to his voice in the dark, feelingthe pain in his words. 
“However, I would hate for her to leave me for a man at the shops.” He said lightly and you snorted. 
“Sorry for overstepping - I didn’t mean that she looked back at them” 
“S’alright.” He answered easily. Suddenly you saw headlights coming up the drive. You felt his body tense. “Hide behind the desk,” he said seriously. He grabbed a gun hidden in the paneling on the wall. You could hear the door open and to your relief, you heard Lizzie’s voice. 
“Fuck sake, Thomas! A gun! Scared the bloody life out of me!” She started to scold him but suddenly she stopped. “Are you alright? Where is she?! I knew something was wrong! Where-” her voice was muffled and you assumed it was because he was holding her.
“She’s fine, in the sitting room” He answered calmly.
“The sitting room at this hour!” 
You got up and moved back to the couch hoping that they might sit with you a while longer before going up to bed. 
“Why is the couch the wrong way?” She asked sitting down pulling you against her. “Miss me enough to sit up at the window like a couple of dogs.” 
“Something like that.” You said enjoying the way she held you tightly. Tommy came to sit down on the other side of you. His arm came across your shoulders pulling Lizzie towards you slightly. 
“Did you give her whiskey? She smells like distillery.”
“One glass to calm her nerves, won’t hurt her any.” You felt him reach over you to kiss the top of her head. 
“Alright. But don’t you go turning into your father.” She said sternly causing you to laugh. 
You sat for a while with the them till eventually the gray sky started to brighten with the sun of the next day. 
“Let’s get to bed. We can all get in a nap before the day starts.” Tommy said. Lizzie followed you through to your room to help you into bed and make sure you were okay. After you were settled you heard them talking down the hall and hoped that he was ready to face his fears. 
The next day you all had breakfast around noon in the kitchen. Lizzie and Tommy seemed in better spirits, might have had something to do with the marks on her neck, but you hoped he’d talked to her about the situation. 
After that night things were noticeably different. You went to school and tried to get along with the other kids, your marks were not great, leading to long nights in the kitchen studying extra with various family members. Esme was the best person to sit with, having learned maths and reading from her mother. She knew how to encourage you without stressing you out. 
Tommy on the other hand would look over the material and already look stressed. He always tried to keep his temper in check, but it was unbearable feeling him be frustrated with you. Eventually he caught on that you did worse with him there because of the added pressure, he learned to just sit next to you and work on his problems and offer you help when you needed it. 
It took a lot of struggling but eventually you were caught up and getting good marks. 
Things were going well till some old business needed to be handled. Tommy was to go away for two weeks, something that seemed to crush Lizzie. 
To her surprise he called her everynight. You’d watch her sitting on kitchen counter talking and occasionally laughing. Then he’d talk to you about school and the weather, telling you that he missed you. That was when you realised that something must be very wrong. He was clearly in a great deal of danger where ever he was. Polly came to stay at the house with Arthur, you enjoyed having them around but it only confirmed your suspicion. Everyone seemd it was best to keep you in the dark on the whole thing. 
 When he came back he was very different. Somebody, or some people, were most certainly dead. A great relief fell over the family and something was different about him. He had a smile on his face when she rushed to the door to greet him. You watched how they held eachother and thought back to when you’d first met them. Things were very different. You eventually butted into the hug feeling left out. 
______________
Extra Blurb. 
Eventually the unthinkable happened. The boy you had your eye on at school asked you out. Not knowing what to do or what the rules are you decided to get some more information on him make sure he was worth the risk of asking. 
Finn laughed at you.
“Not from the best family. But not a rival either, Tommy’s sure to have a fit, and Lizzie, I’m not sure. All in all, I don't mind the guy, you might be better off not telling them.” He said looking out the stained glass window of the Garrison. “If he gives you a hard time, come see me yeah? Don’t let him take you out of Small Heath” He looked at you seriously. 
“Sure thing.” You said getting up. You shouted a thank you over your shoulder rushing out of the pub. 
You thought long and hard about the situation. He made you laugh, didnt seem to care to much about your last name or who your dad was. Didn’t care that you were adopted. He was very polite, but enjoyed your peculiar sense of humor and misplaced words. 
You thought about turning him down. It was too complicated and anything that would upset your parents was too much of a burden. Thinking of what you would say to him, your heart gave a painful wrench. 
You went downstairs towards Tommy’s study. God this boy better be worth it or you’d put him in the ground. 
You poked your head in to see him writing and Lizzie sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. 
“Erm - So.” You started and watched them both look up at you. 
“What are you wearing?” Lizzie said smiling at your dress. 
“Go upstairs and change” Tommy cut you off before you could respond.
“Theres a boy -” You watched his face fall into his hands. “And he’s picking me up in a half hour if that’s allowed.” You fumbled with your words, wanting them to say yes badly.
“What boy” They said at the same time, giving eachother a glare. 
“Noah Solomons. I met him at school.” you responded expecting an explosion. 
“No. absolutley not. No way on earth am I sending you anywhere with him.” 
“Finn said he’s alright.” You started by stopped once he let out a sigh. 
“Finn! Fucking bastard.” He pinnched the bridge of his nose. 
“Where is he taking you then?” Lizzie asked
“Just around Small Heath for dinner. I told him that I can’t be out late.” Your face got red and you looked out the window.
“Put on a longer dress. The purple one, and put your hair up -” 
“Tommy! Don’t make her wear the purple one” Lizzie started to argue but stopped once she saw the look on his face. Her eyes narrowed back at him. 
“How bout I wear the red one -” 
“The black one is fine” They both answered suddently. 
“Just put on a cardigan,” Lizzie said getting up. “I have a nice one upstairs.” You followed her up to her bedroom. She pulled out a nice cardigan and some less opaque stockings. After you’d changed you looked yourself over, more modest, but that wasn't a bad thing. Especially if it got Tommy’s blood pressure back down. Lizzie got your hair up and you were grateful for her help. 
“Do you think dad will let me go?” You asked as she fixed your make up. 
“Dont think he can stop you. But, we’ve done business with his father. I think he’s worried this is apart of some elaborate plan.” 
“I don’t think so, but I’ll keep an eye on him” You were even more nervous now. Lizzie gave you lots of advice and you felt bad making her this worried. When you walked down stairs you could see Tommy talking to Noah at the door. 
You loved the way his face lit up when his eyes landed on you, he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world. You watched the front door swing shut, keeping him on the other side. 
“No.” He said firmly looking at Lizzie.
“Going to have to let her find her own way sometimes.” 
“No I don’t. Not with boys, not dressed like that.” He responded angrily. 
“Look, I told Finn where we are going, he said him and Isaiah would be around to keep an eye out. I’ve known him for the past two school years. I - please” You looked up at him in what you hoped were puppy dog eyes. You saw the conflict rage in his eyes.
“Fine.” He sighed in defeat. “But you don’t like something, anything, you call me from the restaurant and -” You cut him off with a big hug. 
“I won’t be out too late. Love ya” You said flying out the door before he could change his mind. 
__
He kissed you on the cheek on the door step, promising to take you out again next weekend. After saying goodnight you watched as he drove down the drive way before opening the front door.
You were surprised at how quiet it was. You slipped your shoes off and followed the lamp light into the sitting room. Much like the day with the storm, they sat on the sofa turned around to face the large window. You moved towards them to see your dad looking beyond relieved, and mum asleep on his lap. 
“So how was it then?” He asked you handing you the last bit of whiskey in his glass. You sat down next to him, watching him look you over for anything out of place. 
“Felt a bit like the Queen to be honest. More Blinders than people in that restaurant. Not to mention people watching from their windows.” You gave him a look as he started out the window. “But he was nice. I -He is nice, I enjoyed myself”
“Just for food then straight back?” 
“You already know that’s what happened. Can you help me get the pins out of my hair?” You turned away from him and felt him struggle to find them, pulling slightly too hard. 
“What? No, this is my job hands off.” Lizzie said groggily. “What did I miss? Tell me everything.” You felt the two of them shift and Lizzie's expert hands start bringing your hair down. By the time she’d gotten it brushed Polly and Esme had showed up for a full debrief in the kitchen. 
You were giggling like mad for hours with them, hearing their stories about past lovers. Some sweet, other cautionary. Eventually it was time for bed and you stopped into Tommy’s office before going to wash up. 
“Dad.” He gave you a shocked look then you realised what you had said. You didnt feel like apologizing though, too tired to make a big deal of it. You leaned over and gave him a hug. “Thanks for letting me go tonight.” You felt his arms wrap around you tightly. 
“I don't like it, and there will be lots to talk about tomorrow. But I'm happy that you're happy.” You kissed his cheek then headed up to bed. You knew that he’d probably already called Noah’s father, a tense conversation awaited you, but you had no doubt it was because he loved you.
@kpopgirlbtssvt
Tags List: Feel free to send a request or message to be added.
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evita-shelby · 9 months
Note
Is it possible if you to do a story for pesky blinders, where Tommy’s now ex girlfriend is back, after leaving during the night before he went off to war because she had found out she was pregnant.. and with being back she was sneaking around until she ran into Polly and then eventually runs into tommy..
Sorry if none of that makes sense lol
thank you and you make perfect sense.
i do apologize for it being short and ending the way it does. lol sorry
Chance
Gif by @zerenitysblog
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To your credit, you do not panic when you find Polly Gray bouncing three-year-old Charlie on her knee.
“Looks exactly like him, it’s a wonder no one’s caught on yet.” The older woman said as she continued to play with her great-nephew.
You had left when you learned you were pregnant and that Tommy ---instead of talking this out with you like an adult--- signed up with his brothers and neighbors and formed their own battalion.
You had been angry and because neither of you left an address to write, he was entirely unaware of little Charlie. That was until Polly spotted you in church and followed you to the Patch. There she discovered your son, and you already know that she will tell his father and ‘set this right’ by having you marry the fucking coward who chose to die in France instead of talking to you.
“If someone has to tell Tommy, it has to be me.” You say and she nods shrewdly.
“Of course, sweetheart. If anyone must tell Tommy he’s got no foot to stand on, it’s the mother of his child.” Polly agreed, confirming the gossip about Ada and Freddie you’ve heard from your kin.
You plan for it, you rehearse the words you must say and yet your courage fails you when you see him struck dumb by the sight of the barmaid one Sunday after mass.
He has moved on; the blonde miss won’t like the idea of him having a bastard and he would deny his own son if it got him the aloof posh girl playing the barmaid with a heart of gold.
And yet, he sees you from behind the woman and calls out to you instead. “Y/N.”
 “Hello, Tommy.” All your words fail you when he sees his blue eyes reflected in his son’s. For a moment, the world disappears and only you three exist. “Can we talk?”
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A/N 9/11/2023: the fic is sadly completed. I don’t know if i will ever come back to it. Ending is up to you guys
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runnning-outof-time · 4 months
Note
Hi K, I hope you’re doing well!🤍
I just wanted to make another request, if that’s alright with you. “I’ll break before I bend.” with Tommy?
Loving your blurbs by the way!
Thanks for sending this in, Reb @peakyswritings ! I’m sorry it took me a bit to write it — I hope you like what I did with it! I decided to use my family from my Girl Dad series because it’s been too long since I’ve written for them (a thank you goes out to the anon who messed me a little while ago asking about them). Enjoy! :)
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!
Just Some Puppy Love
Tommy Shelby x Reader (family from the Girl Dad series)
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Warnings: none - just Tommy being overprotective of his daughter
Word Count: 922
Summary: Tommy’s unhappy about the fact that his eight year old daughter, Thea, has caught the interest of a boy in her class. (Y/N) tries to tell him that he’s overreacting.
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“How was school today, darling?” (Y/N) asked her daughter as the she entered the home.
“It was great, mum!” Thea answered, a beaming smile on her face. “I even got to see Evie’s class during lunch!” she added, turning to look at her younger sister, who was nodding profusely.
“That sounds lovely,” (Y/N) smiled, thanking the family’s driver, who tipped his cap at her before returning to the vehicle. “Did anything else exciting happen?” she asked no girl in particular as the three went into the front room.
“Billy was being very nice to me! We played together at recess, and he even shared his purple crayon because mine was too little to use,” Thea was the first to speak up.
“Uncle Arthur’s Billy?” (Y/N) asked out of curiosity. She didn’t think that the cousins were in the same class, but she could have seen him during some other point in the day.
“No, Billy from my class,” Thea chirped while collecting her papers from her bookbag, “he’s always very nice to me. Sometimes we even hold hands and walk around the playground.”
“Oh,” (Y/N) drew out the word, nodding her head slowly. Thea said this in such a nonchalant way; like her mum was supposed to know about this beforehand.
“I scored the highest on my maths test today, mummy!” Evie jumped into the conversation, a beaming smile now present on her face.
“That’s lovely to hear, Evie,” (Y/N) smiled at the little girl while looking at Thea - who had now started on her homework - through the corner of her eye.
Boy, oh boy did she have something to tell Tommy this evening.
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“The girls are all down?” Tommy asked as his wife entered his office later that night.
“Juniper fused a little, but they’re all asleep now,” she answered him with a smile as she made her way over to her usual spot on the chaise lounge. She couldn’t help but purse her lips to hide her smile as she finally made eye contact with him.
“What?” Tommy asked, catching onto her expression rather quickly.
“Nothin’,” she brushed him off, glancing down at her fingernails as she picked them.
“You can’t just send that expression my way and then say that it’s nothing,” he commented.
“Well I’ve just done that,” she countered.
“Tell me, (Y/N),” he demanded, his voice dropping to a low level.
“It’s nothing…” she started looking to him again, watching as his mouth opened to argue with the words she said. She continued before he could, “but you’re going to make a big deal over it.”
“Over what?” he asked with furrowed brows.
“Thea might have a boy in her class that fancies her.”
“No,” Tommy shot the idea down within seconds, “impossible.”
“Quite possible considering she told me all about it when she came home this afternoon,” (Y/N) commented. “It’s not a big deal,” she brushed the matter off then.
“Oh but it is. She’s only eight. The boys in school don’t need to be fancying her,” he insisted.
“She is eight, Tommy. There’s no harm in a little puppy love,” she flipped the narrative. Tommy didn’t seem to be buying it. “Besides, they’re not even…”
“Oi, I’m being serious here,” he cut into her defense, his eyes wide, “I’ll break before I bend on this one, (Y/N). No boys. Not for a long time.”
(Y/N) looked at her husband with pursed lips. The intense expression that he was wearing surely worked on his adversaries, but it did nothing to her. “You’re being dramatic about this,” she stated after a few moments had passed.
“I’m not,” he shook his head.
“You are,” she doubled down with a nod. “There’s no reason for a response like that. It’s not like she’s going to go and marry this boy tomorrow. They’re just holding hands on the playground and sharing crayons in class,” she explained the reality of the situation. One look in his direction told her that he wasn’t quite convinced. With a sigh, she stood from her chair. “I know…” she started, moving around his desk so that she could rest her hands on his shoulders, “she’s your first born…your little girl.”
“She is,” Tommy answered in a huff, pressing the pads of his fingers into his eyes.
(Y/N) paused for a few beats, leaning down to rest her chin on top of his head as she looked at the photograph of their three girls that sat on his desk. “You don’t need to be worrying about this stuff right now,” she said in a soft voice as she clasped her hands together over his chest. She heard him sigh as he rested his head against her arm. A smile graced her lips as she thought of something to add, “you have another ten years, at least.”
“(Y/N). Don’t,” his voice was low, the two words coming out in a warning. She couldn’t stop herself from giggling anyway.
“I’m teasing you, Tommy,” she told him, pressing her lips to his hair.
“I know. But I still don’t appreciate it,” he answered her, his voice soft now as he turned his head and pressed a similar kiss to the skin of her arm.
(Y/N) smiled at the gesture. This wouldn’t be the last conversation about boys fancying their daughters that they would have. But she knew that Tommy would do whatever it took to make sure that his girls were safe and got the best.
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*tags in reblogs so that they hopefully get sent out
MASTERLIST
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your-nanas-house · 3 months
Note
Can we have Thomas Shelby having lactation/breastfeeding kink? The reader is a new mother and her tits are full of milk 🥵
Damn yess, I'm such a sucker for this kind of fics. 🫣😳
Mother
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◇ Pairing: Dad!Thomas Shelby X Mom fem!Reader
◇ Warnings: smut, lactation kink, breastfeeding, mention of twins, Tommy is pathetic and desperate, past pregnancy, breast milk, cumming.
◇ Summary: Tommy tastes his wife's milk for the first time.
◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. And for making you wait so long! 🙏
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A mother.. that's what she was, with her round, full, heavy breasts that made their little bundles of joy wiggle in excitement every time, Thomas thought.
The mother... of their twins.. theirs. His and hers.
A mother... with her mature curves, her swellings and her glowing self, her soft hips... and her, damn, swollen tits that were now leaking drops of her milk. A milk that should be for their babies... who already were sleeping, milk drunk from their dinner. A milk that was screaming at Tommy to be tasted by him... even if it looked like such a taboo thing to do.
"Tommy" Y/n said firmly, snapping him out of the trance he was in since nearly 5 minutes now.
Her hands were on her hips and a soft pout was adorning her face... the same one that appeared every time he didn't listen to what she said and so he had her repeat things more than once.
"You can taste it if you want" her soft voice informed him as her tensed and scolding language disappeared, giving space to an amused and mocking one. The woman saw how he looked at her since the pregnancy started to change her body... expecially how he looked at her full, painful breasts.
It really was entertaining the way he tried to play it off, pretending he didn't stared at her while she breastfed. Or when the milk started to wet the fabric of her clothes.... expecially her nightgown, in which it was even more noticeable.
"Our little angels already had it and my boobs are aching, still full and... lonely" she murmured softly while crawling closer to her husband, who was sitting on the bed, holding his breath unconsciously.
Tommy looked hesitant, millions of battles kept going on in his head as his heart beat hard against his bare chest. His blood rushed down to his cock as the gorgeous body of his woman positioned itself on his lap and her hands slowly lowered her nightgown to expose more skin at the cold night breeze.
As soon as his baby blue eyes stopped on her breasts now fully on display, his mind stopped struggling and his head moved on its own, attracted by the shiny nipple like a hungry baby. In a split second his lips were wrapped around it and his free hands grabbed her hip and the back of her neck to prevent her from moving as he started to suckle on it.
Her own milk landing on his greedy tongue, causing a low growl to escape his throat. His hips bucked against hers, in search of a relief, almost humping her clothed cunt shamelessly.
Tommy was in his own world, his mouth focused on stealing the warm liquid from his wife as his body got even more aroused by the intimacy of the moment.
He slowed down just when Y/n grabbed his hair, pulling them to warn him silently as his teeth started to brush and tease her abused nipple.
"That's a good body, fuckk... Tommy. Suck it all for mommy" his wife meowed out after taking a deep sigh, her hand still holding his hand close to her chest as her husband feed himself, moving to the other breast as soon as he felt enough satisfied.
She could tell the effect this mere action was doing to her husband, the way his body twitched and he groaned against her skin before starting to suck again... indicated her that he actually just allowed himself to cum in his pajamas pants, too focused on her tits to actually care.
So desperate and pathetic, she thought, but very arousing to watch.
That sure wouldn't be the last time she would let him.
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sneakyblinders · 1 year
Text
Father’s Advice
A/N: told from Tommy & his beloved wife’s (my AU I’ve created for myself, it’s rather self indulgent <3) oldest son, Peter’s, POV. Please enjoy. <3  warnings: fluff. Dad!Tommy. not canon. sorry not sorry.  Word count: 2k I do not take credit for the GIF. I just think this is how he would look during the office conversation. :) 
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My breath hitched in my throat as I stepped over the threshold of the back door, silently praying to whatever gods were still awake at this hour that the small creak in the door wouldn’t wake my mothers dogs up. After I shut the door behind me I was promptly shoved against it, a blade at my throat.
My eyes strained through the dark to notice my attacker. My mother. My body relaxed when I saw her eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief, unpinning me from the wall and re-harnessing her blade in her skirts. “Peter Shelby!” she scolded me, trying to keep her voice down in fear of waking my siblings up.
“Mother, why would you do that?” I asked, breath still ragged from my near encounter with death.
“You know your father is away in London on business tonight and I cannot sleep without him. Especially with the baby.” she rubbed her stomach, round with my youngest sibling. Baby number five. She’d been uncomfortable for weeks now, this one giving her a terrible time. She’d cursed my father on multiple occasions, telling him he was never to come within six feet of her with anything less than suit pants and a dinner jacket on. He smirked.
“I know, I’m sorry.” I said, looking her in the eyes.
“Where have you been?” she asked, narrowing those dark, big eyes at me.
“Nowhere, Mother.”
“Nonsense, Peter, you’ve barely tucked yourself back into your pants. You are your fathers son, I swear.” she muttered, turning towards the kitchen. I could feel heat in my cheeks as I heard my fathers words the first time this had happened. Your mother knows these things, Peter.
She looked back at me, expectantly, motioning for me to follow her. I could faintly smell bread and my mouth began to water at the prospect of a fresh slice with Irish butter spread on it. Her favorite nighttime snack, a trait she graciously has passed on to each of her children.
She silently cut me a slice while I sat at the table. “Who is she?” she asked, handing me the slice of bread and sliding the butter across the small, round table towards me. I chewed the inside of my cheek. “And there’s no sense in lying to me, Peter. You’re sixteen, I understand these things but sneaking around at night is not the way to do it.” I shoveled a piece of bread in my mouth, eager to not have this conversation. “Fine, if you won’t speak to me about her, you’ll bring her to dinner tomorrow night.”
I choked. Coughing, I managed to sputter out, “Tomorrow? Won’t father be home tomorrow?”
She smiled deviously. “Yes. And he’ll want to talk to you about this first thing in the morning so head to bed. Be ready to speak to him in his office first thing after breakfast.”
I groaned as I trudged up the steps to my room.
The next morning, the nanny, Sara, woke me up. “Good morning, Mr. Peter.” she said gently, opening my curtains, light spreading into my room. I could hear my siblings in the bathroom down the hall fighting over who got to wash their face first and rolled my eyes.
I got ready as slowly as I could manage, barely tying my tie just to spite my mother. She hates when I do that.
My father was just getting up from the table, when I arrived down in the dining room, newspapers spread across the table. “Tie your tie properly, Peter. You know how your mother hates how that looks.” he said sternly, straightening his waistcoat.
“Thomas!” I heard my mother call from the back of the house, somewhere near the pantry. I heard them discussing something about needing more lard or flour or salt as I finished tying my tie.
“Yes, my love, I will make sure Frances gets it when she goes to the market today, no need to get so upset about salt.” I could hear him comforting my mother. Her emotions were thrown every which way with this child.
As stern as my father is with his children, the moment my mother needed an inkling of softness, he turned to putty in her hands. He had her wrapped in his arms, swaying her gently in the kitchen while Frances and Sara bustled around them trying to get the rest of dinner ready. “It’s alright, darling, you just didn’t sleep last night, that’s all.” he told her. She looked at him, face streaked with tears. “Don’t cry anymore, beautiful girl.” he wiped a tear from her chin with his thumb, before swiping it on the back of his thigh, on his suit pants.
“Your shirt, I’m sorry.” she laughed softly, sniffing, noticing the stains of tears on his shirt.
“It’s alright, it’s alright. It’ll dry. Go rest, my love. I will wake you up when it’s time for lunch, yeah?” he told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Okay,” she nodded, reaching up on her toes to kiss his lips. “I’m glad you’re home safe.”
He smiled softly at her, a hand on her belly. “Me too, Darling.”
After my mother was on her way up the steps to their quarters, my father returned to the table to retrieve his paper. “I’ll be waiting for you in my office after you are finished with your breakfast, Peter.” he told me, eyes as cold as ice.
“Yes, father.” I said, not wanting to meet his gaze.
My siblings bounded down the steps, two at a time. “Daddy!” Isabel, my youngest sister shouted when she saw him.
“Good morning, bug!” he smiled at her, arms open as she ran to him.
“How was London?” William, my younger brother asked, jumping on his back as he was bent over to hug Isabel.
“It was wonderful. Got to talk to loads of lovely people.” he said, reaching around his back to tickle William’s sides. William loosed his grip and slid down his back, sliding to the floor with a thump. Katherine stood to the side of the younger two, waiting her turn to hug our father. “There’s my lovely girl.” he smiled at her, reaching for a hug. “Children, listen,” their eyes got round, listening with anticipation. “Your mother needs lots of rest today. The baby has been giving her fits and she didn’t sleep very much last night, so she needs to catch up on rest today. So please listen to your tutors and don’t give Sara or Frances fits after your lessons are done, alright? Your mother is not to be disturbed. I have business today and if I’m interrupted I won’t be happy, okay?” They all nodded their heads. “After dinner, I have some presents from London for you.” They gasped in excitement. “Now, go eat your breakfast.”
He ascended up the steps to his office. My heart sank into my chest as I heard his heavy wooden doors of his office slam shut.
I gathered enough courage after the last of my eggs were washed down to walk up the steps and face my father. I knocked on the door, and I heard a grunt from the other side. I opened the door. Father sat behind his monstrosity of a desk with papers and books strewn about in every direction.
“Good morning, son.” he said, not looking up from his paperwork. “One moment, just trying to get these figures to add up right. Your mother usually does this, I’m a little out of practice so it takes me a little longer. Sit down.” he said, brow scrunched together as his pencil scribbled figures furiously.
I sighed as I sank down into the plush leather chair across from him. He sighed, sitting back in his chair and removing his glasses. “Got it,” he smiled to himself, taking a cigarette from his desk drawer and lighting it. “Alright now, tell me about last night.”
“Father,” I tried to protest but he cut me off, raising his hand.
“Peter. I was sixteen once, I remember.”
“So I don’t have to tell you?” I asked, already confused.
His eyes bore holes into my soul, ice in his gaze. Everything about my father was cold. He was always cold, complaining his hands or feet were freezing. Never showing too much positive emotion around us. He never volunteered  too much information about himself, leaving us all questioning who our father was on a regular basis. Until I got older I never understood if it was done because he didn’t quite understand how to interact with children, or if he thought we wouldn’t understand him. I think it was a little of both.
If my father was ice, my mother was fire. Warm in every sense of the word. Her eyes, dark and knowing, always cast a loving gaze, even if she was violently angry. She was always twenty degrees warmer than everyone else in the house, fanning herself with any scrap paper that was lying around. Often father would trade her pieces of paper that were lying around on his desk as he needed them.
But they loved each other very much, despite all of the ways they were different. He often told me of how my mother made him a better man every day they were together. Once I had threatened, with no real intention behind it, to kill my mother after I learned she was pregnant with the twins, Isabel and William. My father, who was half drunk at the time, told me that if anything were to happen to his wife, he would be even more unbearable than he already was. The thought scared me so bad I never mentioned any more murderous thoughts about my mother.
“Of course you still have to tell me.” my father chuckled, pulling me from my daze. “At least you’re not having to admit all of these things to Aunt Polly like I did.” he told me, eyebrows raised.
“I am thankful for that.” I admitted to him before spilling my guts about Sophie. My girl. By the time I had told him about sneaking off in the middle of the night and her crawling down the lattice of her house to meet in our barns to kiss, I told him. “I feel about her the way you feel about Mother.”
His eyebrows shot up, as he puffed out smoke from his nostrils. “That’s a rather strong sentiment, son.” He took another pull on his cigarette as I tried to justify my words, stammering and tripping over every word I managed to utter. “I believe you, though.”
“What?” I asked, confused again.
“Peter, your mother and I love quite hard, and I am afraid, my son, that you have inherited a double portion of that from us.” I looked down at my hands. “Bring her to dinner tonight. Go collect her properly,” his eyes got intense. “Pick her some flowers from the garden, ask her father’s permission,” my father rolled his eyes. “Can’t believe I’m telling you this, I sound just like Polly.”
“She had this conversation with you?” I asked, ears peaking at the opportunity to hear a story from him. My father is a marvelous storyteller when he gets the gumption to launch into a story.
“Oh yes,” he leaned back in his chair, taking another drag on his cigarette. “About your mother.” a smile spread on his face. “Yes, son, bring her to dinner tonight.”
“Yes, father.”
“And don’t run around late at night with her, it’s not proper and you scare your mother half to death!” he wagged his finger at me.
“It won’t happen again.” I promised him.
“Better not.” he grumbled. “Very well. Off to your lessons, son.”
“Have a good day, father.” I told him.
“See you at dinner, son. Don’t be late.” I could feel him smirking as I left his office.
After following my fathers advice, I brought Sophie to dinner.
Three years later I would bring her to dinner to announce our engagement.
And four years after that to announce our firstborn.
Sometimes father does have the best advice.
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queenshelby · 5 months
Text
ONE SHOT: HIS LITTLE GIRL
PART TwO OF THE DARK & SEXY SERIES
NOTE: This is a series of one shots and mini series for Cillian Murphy & Tommy Shelby in which he acts totally off-canon. Most of these shots are very dark in nature and you should read their individual warnings. All of these shots are requests from readers. Co-written with @darkshelbyfiction! ALL CHARACTERS ARE OVER 18. MINORS DNI.
PAIRING: CILLIAN MURPHY X VIRGIN READER
WARNING: DUB-CON, LOSS OF VIRGINITY, FORCED BREEDING (SOMEWHAT), DDLG-STYLE STORY, HUGE AGE GAP
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It was Friday Evening, a few weeks after your 18th birthday and, as usual, you were out with friends when you ended up in some trouble. 
You were sitting at the bar, nursing a drink when a group of guys started harassing you. They kept commenting on how pretty you looked and wouldn't leave you alone.
You knew you couldn't handle them, so you did what you always do when you needed help and your father was away for work. You called your father's friend, Cillian who had been dealing with your misbehavior and troublesome nature for quite some time after your parents had divorced. 
He was an attractive man, in his mid-forties, with slightly greying hair and piercing blue eyes; he possessed a dominating and intimidating aura that seemed to command respect and when you saw him enter the bar, you were relieved. 
"Cillian! Thank God you're here! I was being harassed by these creeps," you said, your voice cracking slightly as you tried to maintain composure while still trembling from fear as he walked in. 
His eyes scanned the crowd, locking onto the group of men huddled together near the bar entrance.
"Y/N, let's get out of here," he said firmly, taking your hand and leading you away from the commotion. You felt a surge of relief, grateful that he had arrived just in time.
As you walked through the crowded bar, you could feel the stares of the other patrons on the back of your neck. You glanced sideways at Cillian, admiring his confident posture and the way he held his head high, as if daring anyone to challenge him. The mere thought of having someone take care of you sent a warm feeling coursing through your veins.
"What the fuck are you doing in a place like this anyway?" Cillian asked as he led you outside into the cool night air. "I mean, it's not like you've ever been much for restraint, but really now, Y/N?"
You didn't respond right away, instead opting to focus on breathing in the fresh breeze wafting over the cityscape. But then, you offered a sheepish smile and replied, "Well, I decided to try something new, and here we are."
Cillian snorted in response before offering to take you to his place since it was late and there wasn't any sense in letting you walk home alone, let alone allow you to stay in the empty house by yourself. 
"Okay, but can you not tell dad about this?" you asked hesitantly, looking up at Cillian.
"Sure, I will promise to keep quiet if you promise me to behave yourself the next time you go out and do not go to shady places like these," he replied gruffly, flashing a lopsided grin at you. His car was parked a few blocks away and the walk was a welcome change from the crowded bar. You chatted idly as you made your way to the vehicle, the tension from earlier beginning to dissipate.
Once inside the car, Cillian drove smoothly toward his apartment, and you couldn't help but admire the strength emanating from him despite his calm demeanor.
When you arrived at Cillian's place, he unlocked the door quietly, leading you upstairs to his living room with a protective hand on your lower back. You could feel his gaze lingering on you as he fumbled around in the dim light trying to find the switch for the lights.
Finally, the room lit up, revealing the tasteful decor and cozy furniture and, since he had only just moved into this new apartment, you took some time to assess your surroundings.
This place was a stark contrast to your father's modest abode - it was bigger, brighter, and filled with modern art pieces that hung on the walls. There was even a balcony overlooking the city, which would make for an amazing spot to watch the sunrise on lazy mornings. You realized that this was the first time you actually saw Cillian's home and it made you feel a bit awkward. However, you soon found your bearings and started making small talk with him as you waited for him to gather some blankets and pillows for you to sleep on the couch.
"Now tell me, how is school going for you?" Cillian asked casually, knowing that you were just about to sit your final exams, breaking the silence between you both as he took a seat next to you on the couch and handed you a glass of water. 
"Oh, same old stuff, you know, studying, taking tests," you replied nonchalantly, shrugging off the question.
"And that boyfriend of yours? How is he doing?" he continued, a hint of worry creeping into his tone after he had met this young man a few weeks ago. 
"We broke up last week," you admitted, feeling a pang of sadness. "It turned out that he was cheating on me all along."
Cillian placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly.
"It's just. I never...I mean, I should have seen it coming," you mused aloud, swirling the ice around in your glass of water. 
"Listen Y/N, you are a good girl. There will be others, others who are much more deserving of you," Cillian murmured softly, his thumb caressing your cheek gently, sending shivers down your spine. "But until then, don't rush things; it isn't healthy. Take some time for yourself, figure out what you want in life, and go for it."
"I guess you're right, Cillian," you sighed wistfully, staring blankly at the floor in front of you.
"I know I am right. I am always right," he mused, running a finger along your arm. You flinched at first, startled by the unexpected touch, but gradually relaxed under his gentle guidance. "Like I said, you are a smart girl, Y/N, so don't waste your youth on boys who don't deserve you," he went on to say before leaning closer.
You could smell the faint scent of soap and shampoo on his skin, a mixture of spice and cleanliness that made you feel strangely comfortable.
His fingers grazed your arm gently, sending a lightning bolt of excitement racing through your body. You wanted to pull away and yet, something strange compelled you to stay put. 
"Thanks, Cillian," you managed to squeak out, your heart pounding loudly enough to drown out everything else.
"You are welcome," he responded smoothly, reaching over to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered against your cheek, and his scent enveloped you, leaving traces of warmth in your wake.
A soft sigh escaped your lips as you allowed yourself to lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder while his fingers traced undefined patterns over your skin.
His fingers eventually followed a trail from your neck down to your breasts, and as they reached your chest, he paused.
"You are beautiful, you know that right?" he whispered into your ear, his breath tickling your neck.
"I guess, yes," you muttered, your heart hammering wildly beneath your ribs as Cillian's fingers moved downward.
"Good," Cillian said and you could feel the heat rising within you, intensifying every sensation and emotion. His touch was almost too much to bear, yet it was also irresistible. You swallowed hard, unable to look away, captivated by the sensations coursing through your body.
"Let me ask you, Y/N, has your boyfriend ever touched you up here?" asked Cillian, his fingers tracing circles over your clothed breasts and your eyes widened, and you gulped nervously. "Yes, sometimes he has," you mumbled, biting your lip to suppress a moan.
"How about down there? Has he touched your special place?" Cillian's fingers danced provocatively, inching closer to your groin.
Your heart raced, palms sweating, as you shook your head in disbelief. You'd never imagined this kind of situation with Cillian, but his presence was intoxicating, overwhelming your senses.
"No, no one has," you finally mustered.
"Really?" Cillian's tone grew huskier, his fingers now brushing against your inner thigh. 
"I bet you're wet though, aren't you?" he asked you, smirking wickedly.
"No, I don't think so," you whimpered, but your voice lacked conviction as his fingers slid upwards, dangerously close to your panties.
"Come on, Y/N, admit it. I know you are aroused right now," Cillian coaxed, his voice low and seductive. "I have seen how you have been looking at me for years and now that you are old enough...," he then went on to say before trailing off and your face burned hot with embarrassment, but Cillian's fingers were relentless, dancing dangerously close to your panties.
"Cillian, we shouldn't," you protested weakly, but your heart raced and your breath quickened, betraying any attempt at resistance.
"Why not? Don't you want to be a good girl for me?" Cillian purred, his fingers teasing the edge of your panties.
"I do, but..." you trailed off, struggling to form coherent sentences.
"But what?" he prodded, his fingers slipping underneath the waistband of your panties. "Are you afraid of getting caught? Or maybe you think that you are still too young to have sex?" Cillian teased, his fingers expertly navigating through your underwear, his movements slow and deliberate. 
"No, but I am nervous," you admitted, your voice barely audible. The anticipation building within you was overwhelming, and you desperately wanted to feel his breath on your skin.
"Nervous about what?" Cillian taunted, his fingertips pressing lightly against your clitoris beneath your underwear.
"I am nervous about having sex. I am worried that it will hurt when you put your, you know....in there..." you murmured, causing Cillian to chuckle. 
"That's the thing, Y/N. The first time might be a little uncomfortable, but once you're used to it, it feels incredible. And trust me, I'll be gentle if you let me be your first," he assured you, his fingers now running over your wet slit, beneath your panties.
"I promise," he added, dipping one finger inside. You gasped softly, unprepared for the sudden intrusion.
"That feels weird," you gasped, gritting your teeth and clutching onto his arm for support.
"Because it's new," Cillian reassured you, his finger withdrawing briefly before sliding back in. "Try to relax, and breathe with me."
You nodded, closing your eyes and focusing on his voice, his rhythmic breathing. Slowly, you began to loosen up, allowing your muscles to unwind.
With each gentle thrust, you could feel his finger exploring deeper, discovering hidden depths within you.
You moaned softly, your hips undulating involuntarily, your breath becoming ragged.
Suddenly, he withdrew his finger, leaving you panting and wanting more.
"You are very wet now, Y/N," he murmured, his voice deepening even further as he pulled your panties down and slipped a digit back inside your folds. "And your pussy is so swollen, so ready for me. Please let me have sex with you," he begged you and your eyes shot open wide, and you gasped at the realization of what was about to happen if you said "yes"... You could feel your pulse throbbing in your veins, and your cheeks burning bright red.
"Come on Y/N. Let me put my cock inside that this little hole of yours. I promise it won't hurt for long," Cillian said, his voice dripping with lust. You glanced around nervously, aware that your heart was pounding uncontrollably and your breathing was heavy.
"You want to be my good girl, don't you?" Cillian whispered softly, his fingertip circling your nipple, creating a jolt of pleasure through your entire body. 
"Okay, but you need to wear a condom," you interjected, swallowing nervously.
"Of course," Cillian reassured you before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small foil packet.
You watched intently as he undid his pants, pulled them down and then carefully removed the condom, rolling it onto his erect cock with practiced ease. Your heart hammered in your chest and your own juices pooled between your thighs at the sight of his engorged member.
"So beautiful. Now spread your legs for me, baby," Cillian instructed, his voice thick with desire. You did as you were told, your hands shaking with anticipation. Cillian knelt between your spread legs, his erection hovering just inches from your wet, eager pussy.
"Just like this, huh?" he asked, rubbing the tip of his cock against your soaked opening. You whimpered, unable to contain your nervousness. 
His cock looked huge in comparison to your small opening and the idea of having it inside you frightened you, but also excited you beyond belief.
"Relax, alright?" Cillian murmured softly, placing a supportive hand on your hip. "You might bleed a little, but it's completely normal. Trust me, it's nothing to worry about." His voice carried a soothing quality, and your heart rate gradually slowed down.
"Now, lift off the couch a little so that I can watch my cock go in," Cillian declared assertively, the intensity in his voice raising goosebumps across your arms.
You gulped, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.
"Do you want me to lie back?" you ventured, feeling exposed yet curious after you adjusted your position.
"No, I want you to stay exactly where you are," Cillian insisted, his hand gripping your knee firmly.
"Okay," you murmured and Cillian sensed your apprehension and gave you a sly glance.
"Relax, Y/N. We are going to do this right," he assured you, his eyes locked on you. "It is going to be fun, okay? Just trust me."
You gave a weak nod, your heartbeat echoing in your ears, and a thin film of perspiration formed on your forehead. Cillian leaned in, his breath hot on your skin as he whispered, "Ready?"
"Yeah," you managed to croak back, your voice hoarse from anxiety.
You shifted restlessly on the couch, your heart pounding in your chest like a jackhammer. Cillian's firm grip on your knee grounded you, and gradually, you began to settle into the moment.
"Don't worry, I'll go slow," Cillian whispered, his voice rich and husky as he pressed the head of his cock against your wet entrance. You inhaled, steadying yourself, bracing for the pain.
"Breathe with me, Y/N," Cillian coaxed, his breath hot on your skin. "Take a deep breath and push out your pelvis."
You complied, your eyes squeezed shut as you focused on relaxing your muscles. Cillian eased forward, and with a slight pop, his cock breached your tight barrier.
"Ow!" you cried out, instinctively tightening against the intrusion.
"It's okay, Y/N," Cillian murmured encouragingly, stroking your upper thigh. "Just relax and remember to breathe."
You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as you forced yourself to relax. Cillian maintained a steady pressure, guiding his cock deeper into your slick, tight channel. Your heart hammered against your ribcage, threatening to burst free at any moment.
"Almost there," Cillian whispered, his voice sounding far away.
You grunted softly, feeling the stretch and burn intensify.
Cillian continued to guide his cock deeper, his pace steady and measured. The discomfort was overwhelming, but you focused on taking measured breaths, reminding yourself that this was part of the process.
"Alright, Y/N, we're halfway there," Cillian murmured, his voice low and soothing. "You're doing great."
"Is it supposed to hurt like this?" you whimpered, squirming uncomfortably.
"It is supposed to hurt a little," Cillian answered honestly before adding, "but it won't last forever. Just breathe and stay still for me. You will get used to the feeling soon," he reassured you and you took several deep breaths, willing yourself to relax. There was some blood on the cushion beneath you, but you pushed the image aside and focused on the task at hand. 
Eventually, you felt him bottom out inside you, his cock filling you up completely with a sensation you hadn't experienced before.
Your heart pounded furiously, and your breathing became ragged.
"You're so damn tight, it feels so fucking good," Cillian groaned, his voice strained and husky and, despite his efforts, his cock twitched inside you, growing harder.
"Please," you managed to whisper, unsure whether you were agreeing to continue or begging him to stop. You could feel your insides quivering, an unfamiliar sensation spreading throughout your body. It was pleasurable at last and this, mixed with the pain, confused you. 
Cillian's grip on your knee tightened slightly, steadying himself as he prepared to begin moving. He took a deep breath, holding it for a moment before releasing it slowly.
"Okay, Y/N, I'm going to start moving now," he warned, his voice husky and low. "Just relax and tell me if it hurts too much."
You managed a weak nod, squeezing your eyes shut and bracing yourself for the inevitable pain. Cillian began to move, his cock sliding back and forth inside you with agonizing slowness.
Each stroke sent waves of pleasure-pain coursing through your body, making you moan softly. You could feel his warm breath on your neck, and your heart pounded relentlessly in your chest. he growled in your ear, his voice low and gravelly.
"Oh, sweetheart, you're wound tighter than a spring. I can feel you clenching around me, fighting the urge to come undone."
You squirmed uneasily, your heart pounding like a war drum in your chest. "Cillian, please," you whimpered, your voice cracking like a gunshot. "Please, I can't," you moaned but he silenced you with a kiss, his tongue plunging into your mouth, tasting of salt and sin. His cock pulsed inside you, relentless as an iron fist.
It seemed to fill you up more fully with each passing second, and the exquisite torment it inflicted upon your tender flesh drove you to distraction.
"Feel it, Y/N?" Cillian whispered, his voice husky and low. "My cock is stretching you to your limits and it feels so good. You are so tight and so warm," he groaned and you could only nod in agreement, your breaths ragged and desperate. Cillian's cock surged inside you, thrusting deeper and harder with each passing moment.
Each movement sent delicious spasms through your body, making you moan helplessly. You could feel yourself unraveling around him, losing control of your inhibitions.
"Oh, God, Cillian," you whimpered, your voice cracking with desperation. "You feel so good inside me."
Cillian's eyes gleamed with triumph, his cock swelling larger and thicker. An insatiable hunger ignited within you, driving you to claw at his shoulders and squeeze his ass tightly.
"That's a good girl," Cillian rasped, his cock pulsing intensely within you. "Taking my cock like a champ."
You could feel the walls of your pussy clenching around his invading shaft, contracting rhythmically like a vise. Each contraction brought another wave of ecstasy, as you surrendered yourself to the blissful agony consuming you.
"Oh, fuck," Cillian groaned, his cock flexing powerfully within you. "So goddamn tight," he gasped before pulling out of you abruptly. "How about you turn around for me now and get on to your hands and knees," he ordered.
You hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding against your chest like a madman. But somehow, you trusted him. After all, he was Cillian Murphy—the man you've fantasized about for what felt like a lifetime. With a trembling hand, you slowly rotated your body until you were facing the opposite direction. You bent over, your hands supporting your weight on the couch cushions.
"Perfect," he praised. "Stay like that."
You heard him shuffling around behind you but did not pay much attention to what he was doing as, unbeknownst to you, he pulled the condom off his shaft and discarded it on the floor, wanting to fuck you bare. 
He then grabbed your hips roughly and pulled you back against him. His bare shaft entered you, feeling warmer and smoother than before. 
It slid effortlessly into your welcoming pussy, the sensation of his flesh against yours setting fire to your nerves.
"Something feels different," you gasped, confused, but Cillian silenced you. 
"Shh," Cillian hushed you, his warm breath fanning your ear. "Everything's fine," he said before he thrust into you again, his cock sliding deeply within you with a hungry growl. The sensation of his naked cock penetrating you felt amazing for him and you, but you still did not know why it felt different then before and put it down to the change in positioning.
For Cillian, this act was raw, primal, and absolutely thrilling. The thought of having his cum inside you thrilled him even more, claiming you as his. 
"God, Y/N," he gasped, his breath hot on your neck.
"Your pussy feels so fucking good," he groaned and you bit your lip, trying to stifle a moan.
"Cillian," you whimpered, your voice hoarse with desire, still unaware that he was now fucking you raw. His bare cock was inside you now just as he was getting ready to cum and you knew nothing about it. 
"I am close baby. So fucking close," Cillian muttered while slamming into you. Each thrust filled you with an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain that left you breathless.
"Oh, God, Cillian," you moaned, your voice cracking with desperation.
You could feel the walls of your pussy clenching around his invading shaft, contracting rhythmically like a vice and, soon enough, you could not take it anymore and came undone. 
You orgasmed, spasming around his cock, milking him and forcing you both to shout out in euphoria.
You felt your inner walls tighten around him, and Cillian's cock swelled, spurting hot cum deep inside you. His seed mixing with your wetness, marking you as his.
"Fuck," he groaned, his seed bursting forth, painting your insides white. You gasped in shock, your body tensing up as his semen spilled into you.
You felt the warm sticky substance trickling down your inner thighs but did not think anything of it, ignoring it in post-orgasmic bliss. 
Then, after a few more thrusts, Cillian pulled out of you and collapsed beside you on the couch and, immediately, you sat up, your gaze landing on the spot where both of you had been lying.
You didn't notice it initially, but now, you couldn't help but stare at that spot while Cillian reached for a box of tissues and, without words, handing you a wad of paper towels.
"What for?" you asked, puzzled as and he gestured to your pussy, leaking his cum. 
You stared at your own pussy before registering what had taken place. He had ejaculated inside you. The thought made you blush profusely but you didn't say anything. 
You clean up the mess with the tissue, wiping up the remnants of his release  before tossing it in the trashcan.
"Your pussy looks so good, leaking my cum," Cillian says, admiring your visibly flushed face and damp hair.
"Why did you do that?" you ask, knowing full well that he intentionally removed the condom. 
"I wanted to claim you," Cillian replies, his voice deep and resonant. "I needed to show you that you belong to me; that we are meant to be together," he told you while caressing your cheek gently with his thumb. "And now you are mine," he added confidently before forcefully kissing you again, his lips crushing yours hungrily till your body weakened under his passion.
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look-at-the-soul · 1 year
Text
My refuge
Tommy Shelby x reader (daughter)
Request by @kpopgirlbtssvt Thank you for sharing this incredible idea around, I decided to give it a try, but I highly encourage any other writer who wants to join in because the way I approach it. Might be completely different…
I think this idea was the perfect match to celebrate K @runnning-outof-time 3K followers celebration! 🌹🌷💐🌺🌼Congratulations dear K, I adored your Tales from the Garden theme and had this visual idea of the garden…
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“Daddy? I brought some tea.”
Tommy looked towards the door, where you were standing poking only your head inside his office, his heart still skipped a beat every time he heard you call him that.
“You can come in sweetheart.” He stamped his cigarette in the ashtray.
Michael sighed loudly as you interrupted their conversation, his annoyance didn’t go unnoticed by Tommy.
“Frances helped me bake cookies, I hope you like it.” Y/N smile made Tommy smile as well, how could he reject you something? If his only daughter wanted him to eat a cookie, he’d eat a fucking cookie.
“Thank you love.”
Michael scoffed again, watching the interaction.
“Will you be busy for the rest of the afternoon?” You asked sweetly as your father took another sip of his tea.
“Why?”
“Because you promised we’d go riding.”
Tommy’s expression softened.
He stood up immediately, looking in Michael’s direction. “We’ll see this tomorrow.”
“What? No, Tommy I need y-”
“Michael.” Tommy warned giving his cousin a death stare, he wouldn’t repeat himself.
Turning his back at him, Tommy got rid of his suit jacket, and started rolling the sleeves of his shirt up.
Michael looked annoyed at you and then at Tommy, he felt a strong dislike for the long lost daughter that suddenly appeared, making his cousin a soft, ridiculous, old man.
Michael grabbed the papers from Tommy’s desk and stormed out of the office without a word.
“He’s always angry.” You stated with a giggle, making your father chuckle.
“Let’s go my darling.” He took the remaining of his tea in one big gulp and then the cookies you baked to eat on the walk to the stables.
It was impossible to not feel calmer around you, Tommy noticed. Realizing how full of life he felt, how much he wanted to protect you.
On their way to the stables, you stopped to smell one of the bushes with pink roses. Your Dad, who was usually in a hurry, stopped on his tracks to take in the moment, wishing he could be more like you. But deep down he knew he wasn’t made to enjoy simple moments like those.
“I love your garden, I could spend all day sitting here surrounded by this beauty.”
Tommy felt constantly in awe by the things that made you smile, his mind trying to storage every moment, every word, trying to make up for the time he lost.
He stayed quiet as the two of you were riding, thinking of how much you and the woman he once loved looked alike.
“I shouldn’t have interrupted your meeting with Michael?” You asked worried. “Sorry, I thought you were free.”
“What? No, none of that, you’re my priority from now on.”
“Then why are you so quiet?”
Tommy was forced to look up at you, fighting against the lump in his throat. “You look exactly like your mother.”
Without even knowing, you had started a revolution within him, made him go back in time when he was young and carefree.
“How did you and Mum meet?” The question had been on your mind for a while, you looked in his direction with curiosity, not understanding the reason why everyone looked at your father with fear in their eyes, he was the sweetest man on earth.
Tommy took his time to think of how to elaborate a proper answer.
“I saw her at an Appleby fair, she was dancing with other girls… she was like a magnet, I couldn’t look anywhere else.” For an instant, he was back in time into that very moment.
“What happened then?” Your face lit up, moved to have this little piece of information, for years, you only knew your mum’s side of the story, now, it was time to get both.
“She asked me out to dance with her, then it started to rain heavily and the fair was canceled, we went to my caravan and I’ve never been happier,” Tommy stopped and winked at his daughter, “until you stood in my front door.”
“She always talked about you, until her very last breath.”
“I wish I could prevent her parents taking you both away from me… but when I went to France and sent her letter with no answer, eventually, I stopped writing.” A heavy sigh abandoned his body as he stopped by a tree.
In more ways than he thought, talking about your mother helped him heal a part of his heart that had been broken for a little over two decades.
You came down from the horse and saw how your father secured both next to a tree.
A tender hand came to rest to the side of your face. “I’m just so glad you found me.”
There was a bittersweet look in his eyes, you noticed.
“I made quite an entrance, fighting off the maid, telling her, no I demanded a word with you.”
Small lines appeared around his eyes. “Like the good Shelby that you’re.”
“You never doubted for a second?”
But your Dad was already shaking his head. “No way, I knew it was you in that very moment.” He admitted, in his mind images of that day playing in his mind.
He was running late that morning and as commotion was happening downstairs, he rushed with a gun ready. Even from afar, as he took in your features, he knew it was you.
“But I confirmed it when I saw the broken Black Madonna around your neck.”
You looked at him confused.
“Back then I didn’t own anything,” he explained bending one knee, “so one day I found this broken Madonna relic, it was missing the hook to attach it to the chain, so the owner of the stand gave it to me for free, I tried to fix it and gave it to your mum for one of her birthdays.”
“That’s beautiful.” You touched it, feeling your heart beat under your hand.
Saving these memories in the deepest part of your soul.
You talked for hours, Tommy had never felt more free to speak his mind, his fears , his dreams, he realized his daughter understood him at a level nobody else did. You were his blood, and the exact same image of your mother.
***
“Good morning, thank you for coming.” Tommy walked into his office not realizing the door didn’t close completely.
“Finally after canceling this bloody meeting so many times.” Michael sighed as Tommy entered the office.
“I like your enthusiasm Michael, hopefully you will still carry that around by the end, ey?”
Leaning back, Michael tilted his head, he was clearly annoyed with the delay.
“Hopefully someone won’t interrupt us this time around over a fucking cup of tea or to go and pick up wild flowers to make a crown.”
The cigarette Tommy was about to light didn’t reach his lips, as he stopped midway.
“What didya say?” Tommy squinted his eyes.
“I said I’m fucking tired of your daughter interrupting us every single time-”
“Y/N, her name is Y/N Shelby.” Tommy dragged his words slowly, leaning his palms on his desk staring deeply into his cousin’s eyes.
“I don’t know you anymore, since when you push everything to the side Tommy? This business demands your full attention an-”
“Since she showed up in my doorstep!” Tommy slammed the desk with his hand, his voice raising. “After being away from me for twenty years, it really shouldn’t be a surprise she has become my priority now.”
“Michael.” Polly tried to warn him.
But Tommy raised his hand, to let him speak.
“I just can’t stand how you immediately turn into a fucking puppy as soon as she walks into any room, her little happy bubble is fucking annoying, this is a serious business and we don’t need a child with a bouncy bow interrupting everyone fucking meeting.”
Tommy remained quiet for a few seconds, his mouth pressed in a tight line. “Are you done, Michael?”
“I mean if you want to take some time apart from the company to spend time to work on your family bond.”
As you took the last step of the staircase, you noticed the voices coming from your father’s office, it was probably your family as you noticed Polly’s voice.
Walking closer to join them and before you could reach the knob, you heard something that stopped you on your tracks.
John couldn’t hold it any longer and started laughing.
“You definitely look like a fucking puppy, you can’t deny it… as soon as you see Y/N you turn into a fucking marionette, she does whatever she wants with you.”
“She turned you into a softy, brother.” The voice of your uncle Arthur pointed.
“Sometimes I wonder what the hell is she doing in a place like this.” Michael stated in a serious tone. “She doesn’t match the Shelby energy. What if someone comes at her? Does she even know how to use a fucking gun?”
Your heart sank to the floor, listening to what they thought of you.
Then it was your aunt Ada’s voice what you heard next. “She’s just a happy girl.”
“Ada knew how to use one at her age.” Polly admitted, you saw her over the slightly open door looking into her purse.
“Little Finn knew how to shoot before he was eight.” Arthur informed them.
“She’s a weakness, Tommy,” Michael insisted, “her happy bubble will lead us all into trouble someday.”
And for the first time, you felt anger building inside your body.
“Even Charlie seems to be more keen to be part of the business.”
With an unknown courage, you pushed the heavy door and stared at each of them. Shock reflected on their faces.
“I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to be happy, and I’m sorry for being in my little, weak bubble, but you’re probably right… I don’t belong here, I shouldn’t be a fucking Shelby.”
You didn’t waste another second to listen their answer, you turned your back at them and stormed out of the office, rushing towards the doors.
“Y/N wait!”
“Shit, how long has she been listening behind the door?” Ada asked.
“Did she really curse?” John asked shocked.
“I hope you’re fucking happy now, look at what you caused.” Tommy spat at Michael, leaving his family to go after his daughter.
But he wasn’t fast enough to go after you, when he reached the fountain, your small figure had already disappeared from his eyesight.
Looking down, he found the ribbon you always wore around your hair on the floor, about to fly away with the wind. Crounching down, he took it between his fingers, kicking himself internally at the thought of you feeling hurt.
“Get me the horse!” He barked, realizing how he wouldn’t be able to reach you by car.
You felt the way your heart was beating, uncontrollably while the tears blurred your vision. Realizing how silly you felt by thinking that you had found your place.
Being a Shelby by name wasn’t enough for them, no, you had to cut people’s eyes and be ruthless and clearly, you weren’t like that.
And you’d never be.
Your legs were burning from running, after moving aimlessly you sank down, finally letting out a sob from the deepest part of your soul.
You felt broken inside, sad because no matter what, you would never be a part of their world, you didn’t understand the family business, didn’t feel familiar with weapons, you were weak according to them.
Perhaps Michael was right after all.
Back at the house Polly scolded her son for the words he said, should mind his own business and stay away from you.
“You have to change that bloody attitude, Y/N is one sweet little child, she lost her mother.”
“She’s not a child and Charlie lost his as well and he doesn’t go trying to get Tommy’s attention all the fucking time.”
“It’s a different dynamic Michael, you can’t expect them to behave the same.” Ada interrupted him.
“Y/N and Tommy have a special bond.” Polly admitted sipping on her tea. “You can see it in his eyes… Y/N’s mother was the love of his life.”
“I don’t remember her much.” Ada expressed pouring herself some whiskey.
“I didn’t even know he had a secret relationship with her.” Arthur sighed.
“They were young and in love.” Polly explained, she had covered her nephew a couple of times from his father for not being around, lied saying she asked him to run some errands. “She was a good girl, but I never saw her again. Guess her parents moved out angry when they realized she was pregnant.”
“I can’t find her.” Tommy announced with his breath caught up in his throat and a panic look in his eyes. “Arthur, John come with me. Ada take the car around,” he clicked his fingers. “Want every single maid looking for Y/N.”
Then, he threw his cousin a death stare. “If anything happens to me daughter… you’re a death man.”
Tommy couldn’t conceive the idea of you being out on your own at night, he needed to protect you.
In his heart he made a promise to your mother the day you showed up in his house with the letter she wrote him, explaining everything; how her parents sent her away to live with an aunt in the mountains when they found out she was pregnant, they let her keep you but under the condition of being raised as a sister and not daughter.
And he was failing.
Defeated, he rode back home, trying think a plan to find you. Where would you go?
He felt desperate and frustrated, about to explode from the worry, after returning to the property finally he stopped to let someone take his horse to drink some water after spending hours looking out for you. Taking his watch from the pocket in his vest he noticed it was close to sunset now and it would get cold.
If only he could tell you how much you meant to him.
They looked for you at the stables and around Arrow House, but you were nowhere to be seen. Tommy started to feel like a lion inside a fucking cage, he needed to calm down to think where would you go, looking to his right, his eyes fixed on a bush and that gave him the hint to go and look at the garden.
Feeling his heartbeat drumming in his ears, Tommy was determined to find you so he entered the maze. He followed the herbaceous border and took a right to find the fountain, walking past the yew buttresses. Wiping the sweat from his chin, he noticed a silhouette sitting by the steps of the gazebo.
And he couldn’t feel more joy in his chest, recognizing immediately it was you.
“Y/N.” He whispered out of breath.
You were pale and didn’t answer him.
Once more, he called your name, finally getting close enough to touch you. “Wake up baby girl.”
“Daddy?” You blinked away a few times, taking in your surroundings.
“You’re so cold.” He took his coat off and wrapped it around your shoulders.
The previous events slowly coming back into your memory. You probably fell asleep after crying endlessly.
“I’m sorry I’m a disappointment to the Shelby name.”
“Oh my darling you could never disappoint me.” He rocked your body slightly, trying to warm you up with his hands. “You have more heart than anyone in that house.”
“I dreamed of Mum… she gave me a hug and a kiss and said it would all be alright, because I’ve you.”
Tommy wasn’t able to answer as the words got caught up in his throat, so he did something he rarely did.
His arms wrapped around your back and he pushed you in a tight hug.
One that was repairing him from the inside out. One that was repairing his broken heart.
“I know my girl, cause she will always be with us.” He kissed your hair and looked up in the starry night thinking of your mother and how much he had loved her. “Let’s get you home.”
From afar, Polly witnessed the interaction knowing nothing in this world would ever tear you and Tommy apart.
“But they don’t think I belong here.”
“You belong here way more than any of them, this is your house and this is your family and they’ll have to learn to accept the fact that you’re the light of my eyes.”
And your eyes lit up by your fathers words, tears of happiness making your vision go blurry.
“I ordered the gardener to create this for you, it’s not finished yet though… I wanted you to feel in this place at home.”
Slowly, you broke away the embrace to look at your father, with a tender touch, he wiped the tears from the corner of your eyes.
“This is for you.” He encouraged with a smile. “It was a surprise I was saving for later.”
Taking in your surroundings, you couldn’t believe the beautiful oasis before your eyes. You haven’t noticed before.
“Daddy!” Your hands flew to your mouth. “That’s white daffodils.”
Tommy chuckled. “Oh don’t expect me to know that.”
“These are peonies!” You were delighted. “And irises.”
Tommy saw you moving around the garden, enjoying the peace you being happy in this place brought him.
Taking you by the shoulders, he made you turn around to face the gazebo.
“I particularly love that… imagined you sitting there for hours.”
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You were lost in the colors and smell, but soon you turned around to look at your father.
“Thank you for giving me this.” Your arms found their way around his body, time stood still.
“I was hoping this would be your refuge.” Tommy whispered, kissing the top of your head.
“Can we join the hug?” Ada interrupted, making you both turn around.
“I’m sorry about what Michael said,” your aunt Pol apologized, “I do enjoy your cheerful energy.”
“It’s a balm to this fucking family madness.” Ada explained.
They each linked their arms around you tenderly.
“You’re a sweet child and I love you.” Arthur blushed but joined the hug as well, behind him, uncle John looked at you.
“When you came into our lives, I knew it was you the one who could make him line up.” John winked at you.
“Come on you two, don’t stay back there.” Ada shouted at Finn and Charlie, who were standing awkwardly a few steps away.
“You’re the sweetest young girl, we love you just like that, Y/N it doesn’t matter what anyone tells you, don’t let this cruel world change you an ounce.” Polly said caressing your face.
And you believed her, them.
She then looked at her nephew.
“You did a wonderful job with this place, Tommy.”
He didn’t need something like this though, since he felt like having you close, was his own kind of refuge. His safe haven.
***
Master list
A/N: Oops this got a bit long 🤭 but there were so many things I needed to add, I hope you enjoyed it!
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lis-likes-fics · 11 months
Text
A Deal’s a Deal (Pt. 2)
Pairings: Tommy Shelby x Gold!Reader Word Count: 10.4k words Warnings: NSFW, smut, spoilers, swearing, smoking, death, angst, phone sex, masturbation, age gap (Tommy is late 30s, Reader is late 20s), oral (f!receiving), heavy praise, breeding kink, Tommy is nice... A/N: So I decided to write a second part to show a completely different side of Tommy bc of course. This is not filthy as it is angsty. This contains spoilers for seasons 4 and 5 if you have not already watched them. I hope you enjoy this part, I put a lot of time into it! Thank you!
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You wrapped Tommy’s jacket around you, draping it over your shoulders and admiring the weight of his scent wrapped around you. He’d just left you in the bedroom, left only in a bedgown as you waited for him to return to you after dealing with business that had shown up on the front lawn. But you were curious.
As you ventured toward the window, where the blaring lights from the car out front were shining through, even from the height of the first floor, you looked over the chaos of muffled shouts and cries. You tilted your head as you continued to quietly observe, trying to figure out who it was causing such a disturbance here so late in the night.
When you realised that you recognised the person yelling at Tommy, you were out of the door in seconds, panicked as you rushed through the hall and down the stairs. Once at the bottom of the stairs, you caught Charlie trying to peek out of the door in search of the situation which had caught his attention.
You knelt in front of him, offering a kind smile as you focused his attention on you. “Hey, Charlie,” you said in a sticky sweet voice. “Why don’t you come sit down while I go see what your father is up to, eh?”
He looked at you, only half interested. “Screaming,” he spoke in his tiny voice, referring to the men arguing outside.
“I know. Isn’t it just so annoying?” You stood and took his hand, leading him away until you could hand him off to a freshly woken Mary to take elsewhere. With Charlie out of the way, patting his head as he departed, you went back to the front door. You didn’t leave yet, choosing to stay there with the gun hidden underneath the table by the door and watch the men argue.
Aberama looked a mess, covered in blood and sweat. He was hysterical, and you could not understand a single word he was saying. Johnny Dogs was by the car, just as hurt as your father seemed to be, though less frantic as he clutched his side in pain. All you could hear were threats, loud, desperate threats spouting from Aberama’s mouth in Johnny’s direction garbled by anger and something deeper.
“Listen to me!” Tommy shouted, trying to catch his attention as he cradled his head and attempted to hold him still to get him to calm down. He forced him to look at him as he spoke.
“How can a one-armed man avenge the death of his son, eh?”
Your heart dropped in your chest and then leapt to your throat. The ground shook and the air stood still. You swallowed hard, wide eyed and not entirely sure you were still breathing. The word came out of your mouth but it was muffled in your ears as you took a step out of the door with breath caught in your lungs.
“Dad?”
Everything stopped as they all turned their gazes on you, a variety of emotions crossing their faces before settling on sudden realisation. You stared your father in the eye, ignoring the sting of tears as you took it all in—the suffocation, the shock. When did the world become so blurry?
Aberama looked away from you, his grief deepening as he turned his gaze back on Tommy with a new kind of rage. “They crucified my son…” he huffed, “for you.”
You felt paralysed as you stood there, helpless to find a way to fix all of this. You were supposed to fix it. You were the older sister, the family’s caretaker. You had to fix it, but you didn’t know how.
You were ripped from your spiral at the struggling grunts your father made breaking away from Tommy and grabbing the firearm discarded on the ground. He stumbled away to stand between you and Tommy, pointing the gun right at him. “You stay away from my fucking daughter!” he shrieked.
The blasting sounds of bullets shot into the air and stopped everything. You hadn’t even realised you were the gun shooting until words were leaving your mouth and you felt the tingling of blood leaving your hand from being held in the air for so long.
“Put down the gun, Dad,” you said, calmly at first as you stared him down with eyes that had not yet caught up to your body.
He looked at you and mumbled your name, nearly defeated as he watched you. The next words to leave your mouth were not so calm as they scratch at your throat with the force you used to scream them and aimed your gun at Aberema with an anger to be reckoned with.
“I told you to put down the fucking gun or I’ll shoot it out of your hands!”
He hesitated, taking you in before obliging. Slowly, he set the gun down and put his hands up to show peace. You didn’t lower your own weapon, though your hands shook and your jaw trembled with barely contained tears. Everyone stood still and watched you try not to unravel.
You took in a shaky breath. “Yes or no…” Your sigh was watery as you closed your eyes to steady yourself before looking back at your father. You licked your lips, “...Is my little brother dead?”
Aberama’s hands fell to his sides, swinging there as he let them go limp. His gaze broke from yours. He was slow to respond, not quite present but not as dazed as part of him wished to be. His voice was low, nearly inaudible. He opened his mouth, struggling to speak, “...Yes.”
You closed your eyes and gaze a silent sob one breath to escape. The tears that had been piling in your eyes finally slipped out. One, two, three slid down your chin and dripped to the gravel beneath your feet. You inhaled again, composing yourself again.
“Are my sisters safe?” you asked.
His eyes could only meet yours for a half second. “They’re with family.”
“Do they know?”
“Not yet.”
The sound of gravel crunching under someone’s shoes has you turning toward the sound with the precision of a trained marksman as you aim the barrel of the gun at Tommy, glaring at him trying to come nearer to you.
“Tommy, I swear to God, if you come any closer, I’ll fucking shoot you.”
He assessed you, taking in your anger, your pain, and deciding from there whether your words were empty. With another step, you gripped the gun tighter, but made no move with the trigger. He approached you slowly, testing you and your threat. By the time he was standing in front of you, you had done nothing but stare at him with a shaky grasp and breath. He placed his hand on the gun, pushing it down and snatching it from your hands. Emptying the barrel, his eyes didn’t leave yours as you watched him limply.
When his arms wrapped around you, the fire in your bones ignited. You were so much like your father in that way—your brother, too—a fighter, all of you. You fought him, you kicked and screamed and punched as you tried to get him to get off of you. Your brother was dead, your baby brother was gone, and you could never get him back and Tommy was standing here trying to hold you to him when you could never hold your brother again?
The touch was much too warm, the confinement stifling. You couldn't breathe, couldn't get the air to your lungs as your gasps made your throat hoarse and rough. The fight left so quickly as Tommy endured against your fight, keeping you locked in his arms until your anger relinquished and you dissolved into nothing but sobs into his shoulder. He held you as you stopped screaming, held you as the tears soaked his clothes. He held you as you trembled, too exhausted to keep fighting. Your legs were on the verge of giving out. He was the only thing to hold you up as you broke down against him.
“He’s dead, Tom,” you sobbed, finally putting your arms around him and holding him tighter than you ever have, your nails digging into him for something to hold on to. “He’s fucking dead. My baby brother’s dead.”
“I know, I know,” he shushed. Tommy cradled you as you rambled, trying to soften your cries as he listened and felt your sentiment too close to heart. The wounds of his own little brother’s death burned in his chest, and he hated you going through it as well. “I’m sorry about your brother. Really, I am.”
Your hands tightened around him, your nails digging deeper until your eyes met your father’s, watching the both of you with a look you couldn’t identify. Your grip on Tommy loosened, and you remembered yourself—the oldest, the caretaker, the voice of reason among voices pleading reparation and revenge. You let go of him, parting with a new numbness as he watched the anger, the emotional agony, disappear into a stone cold mask you’d pulled over your face to offer your father in accompaniment of his pain.
“I need to be with my family,” you said after a moment, your voice already sore and scratchy, your words full of frail strength.
Tommy watched you walk away from him and into your father’s arms, laying your chin on his shoulder as he pulled an arm around your back and held you. You didn’t reciprocate, you couldn’t. Not right now. Aberama held onto you for strength, and Tommy felt like he could see it draining from you by the way your shoulders began to sag.
Anerama’s cold, fiery gaze bore into Tommy, one full of despair and ruthlessness. Tommy sighed, raising a finger toward him. “If you want to take on the Billy Boys, you need me alive,” he warned, looking between the both of you with a variety of thoughts flashing in his head. “Everyone fucking needs me.”
You pulled away from your father, placing your hand on his shoulders and dragging your gaze along him. He was hurt. So was Johnny Dogs. You needed to take care of them. “I’m calling an ambulance,” you said, your voice a monotone droll of duty first. “Hold on, both of you.”
You supported your father’s arm around your shoulders, pulling him into the house to get him cared for as Tommy moved to do the same with Johnny.
~
Flames rose high, making the air around it dance from the heat and life rising with it. Your sisters, tucked under each of your arms, clung to you as they watched their brother's wagon burn, reduced to ash and dust of a life once lived.
You swallowed the lump in your throat as you watched the fire rise and rise, sucking the tears back in as you remained strong for your grieving sisters. You turned your chin, resting it atop the youngest's head. You glanced away from the fire, and your eyes caught a much darker figure lingering further from the scene, cap pulled over his head and cigarette between his lips as he watched you.
You both watched each other for a moment, neither moving or looking away. By the time your eyes were averted, you'd already made your decision.
When the fire had not roared so wildly and your sisters' quiet sobs were gentler tears, you passed them over to one of your aunts watching the fire burn. Your father was still recovering in the hospital, too hurt to move too far from the bed but too upset to sleep as he sat in bed and watched the time that marked as his son's funeral ticked away minute by minute. With a nod, she gestured you away to take care of them for the moment while you spoke with your mysterious visitor.
Tommy Shelby stood silently where he was as you joined his side. Neither of you looked at one another, your eyes still fixated on the flames. It was silent for a while. You stuffed your hand in the pocket of your jacket and hugged it close for a comfort you felt selfish for wanting.
"They killed him."
Your voice was nearly strained as you spoke, quiet and nearly raspy with the overuse of crying—or keeping from crying—over the past week. You were still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that it had been the first week in the rest of your life without your baby brother.
Tommy cleared his throat, taking his cigarette from his lips. He rolled it between his fingers, considering a response before he gave it. "Your brother will be avenged, Y/N." He flicked it away into the grass, stomping on it with the tip of his shoe to put it out. "I promise you that."
You sighed, late to a reply as you shook your head at his promise to you. "Do what you want, Tommy." Your eyes strayed where they always had, right back to your sisters huddling to your aunt, stricken with grief. You shook your head again turning to Tommy as you swallowed thickly. "But don't make me lose any more family. My sister's stay safe, my father's life or death will be left to his hands or mine."
He turned to you, tilting his head and raising a brow. "You don't want me to keep him alive?"
You looked down at his shoes, thinking for a moment to get your thoughts in order from the messy hurricane they had been in the past week. "Before Bonnie died, I was dreamin' of a big, black bird. Then he did die, and I thought, 'This was it. It got what it wanted, now it'll leave us alone.' But when I managed to sleep that night… that bird was staring me down, much bigger and much louder than before."
You let out a shaky breath, steadying yourself before you continued. "Someone is goin' to die again, Tom." You nearly shuddered at the idea, meeting his gaze. "Don't let it be my sisters."
Tommy looked over you—your well-hidden grief of concealed red-rimmed eyes, trembling lips, messy hair. You were so good at hiding it all, he realised, well-versed in composed disposition.
But you couldn't hide all that pain from him. Reading you was like looking in a mirror.
He took a small step closer and reached down to brush your fingers with his, swiping his thumb over the back of your knuckles momentarily before letting go of you and nodding. "Your sisters will be safe. You have my word." He looked your face up and down. "No black bird will come for them."
You stared at him and blinked once. With a short nod, you looked away from the intensity of his eyes. He lingered there for a moment, your warmth mixing together for a few seconds in the cool air. Without a word, he turned to leave you.
He'd gotten a few steps away before you spoke into the air. "Tommy."
He looked back at you again, waiting expectantly for you to continue.
You swallowed hard. "Stay alive."
His eyes bore into your own, staring as he processed your words. He began walking back over to you, digging his hand in his pocket as he invaded your space. He took your hand in his big palm, setting something in your own and closing your fingers around it before you could see what it was judging the object only by the feel of it in your hand.
He turned and left, didn't spare a single word as he strayed from you.
You opened your hand and stared down at the penny he'd left you with, finding a ghost of a smile in your mind but not yet on your lips as you turned around to rejoin your sisters.
-
Things changed after that. With your brother gone, you realised all too suddenly how fragile this family of yours was.
Throwing yourself into work and family was the easiest part. Your kids at the school were important to you, your sisters even more so. The children kept you tender, kept you from hardening with the loss of your brother as you held on tight to your joy in life. Your sisters, impossibly dearer to you now, were cherished and loved and you made sure of you. The older of the two got married and was working on her first baby. The younger was joining you as a teacher, which meant she stayed closer to you. That made you very happy.
The hard part was separating from Tommy.
It wasn't intentional. Your late nights with him became more and more scarce as time went on. Being with Tommy, basking in the throes of passion with him during the darkest parts of the night, wrapped in his bedsheets and screaming his name, was a joy you couldn't match with anything else in your life. He was a guilty pleasure, an escape from reality that allowed you to fulfil the darkest desires within your heart that could not be found anywhere else.
You'd tried, once or twice, to push Tommy from your mind by finding another man. You were known to be Gold's prettiest daughter, there were men lining up to have a chance with you, but they were frightened off of it when Tommy Shelby had staked a claim. Now that he wasn't so dominant in your life, they had chances.
And you gave a couple of them chances—you needed someone else, someone safer. But he had his claws so deep inside of you, buried in your body and bitten into your flesh, like he had fired that bullet and left himself permanently marked in your soul.
There was no man like Thomas Shelby.
Slowly losing him was not just a physical thing, though. You hadn't realised how deeply you'd attached yourself to him until he wasn't around as much as he used to be—especially when he'd gone away to America on business. Finding excuses to see him every once in a while included your father meeting him for business and you following after, you wandering into the pub some evenings when you were feeling especially lonely (or simply just missing him) on the off chance that you just might find him there…him calling you late at night desiring you in his bed once more…
He'd called you one night.
You were just getting ready to go to bed, muscles aching and feet sore from working. Just as you were pulling the comforter from your bed, the trilling ring from the telephone screamed through the night air. You sighed, a tired moan slipping from your throat as you dragged yourself to answer.
You picked it up, a soft answer of your name through the line encouraging the person to speak. He hadn't realised how much he missed the sound of your voice until he'd heard it.
"Hello, Miss Gold," he said, his voice deeper, rougher than usual.
You held your breath and felt the sparks of delight in your chest at the sound of his voice. "Tommy…" you breathed, holding the phone closer and sinking into your chair.
"Did you miss me?" he asked. He sounded cocky. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke to you.
You nodded gently. "I still do…" He hummed, and the sound made you shudder. Your eyes flicked to the clock on your wall. "It's the early hours of the morning for you, isn't it? The sun isn't even up yet. You should be asleep, darling."
He hummed again. "Sleep was never really my friend."
You breathed a sigh. "You sound like you just woke up… Was it a nightmare, Tom?"
He didn't answer that. Instead, he let silence linger for a moment before he sighed. "I've been thinking about you."
You licked your lips slowly. "Me, too." You smiled a little. "But I think America is a little too far for me to go just to share your bed." Your smile faltered slightly. "I'm sure you could find some other woman to fuck tonight. A man like you has got plenty of options."
You weren't hostile as you spoke. Your voice remains gentle, if not dismayed by the proposal. Tommy supposed you sounded almost jealous.
"Maybe," his voice came. You swallowed thickly. "But none of the women here seemed to know how to fuck me like you." You heard him sigh. "None of the women here come close to you."
It was oddly comforting, but not comforting enough to be rid of your unreasonable agitation that he has, in fact, been with other women there. But what else did you expect? He wasn't going to stay celibate for you.
You brushed the fabric of the hem of your nightgown between your fingers, licking your lips. "Are any of them pretty?"
"Not like you."
The way he said it, his voice so soft and deep, brushed against your heart some kind of way. You found yourself wishing you were in his bed, not moaning with your back arched, but resting with your head against his chest. You wanted to feel your skin against his, his heart under your hand, his breath on your skin.
"I wish we spent more time together, you and I," you whispered, your voice soft as the whispers of wind. "I'm sorry we fell apart. I miss you." You didn't care how desperate you probably sounded repeating yourself like that. You let your eyes close, imagining him close again.
"Don't apologise," he said. He didn't go further, he simply left it at that with the implication that you knew what the rest of his meaning was. And you did.
"I want to be there with you." But my family needs me.
"I know." And I care so much that I am willing to wait.
You wanted to kiss him. You needed to kiss him. But you were oceans apart, and there was no getting past that quite soon.
You closed your eyes, inhaling the silence. "Say something to me, darling."
He sighed gently on the other side of the lines. His voice spoke in a way that made you shudder, absorbed in the depth of his timbre.
"I think of you every night, dove… I think of your body in my hands and your lips on mine."
If it weren't for the tone of the line, it'd almost be like you were right there with him, watching him stand over you as you listened to him speak. "What else?" you muttered.
"I think of your legs around my waist and your breath in my ear," he continued. "My name on your lips…"
The slightest whimper escaped you at the sound of that. You breathed in deeply, flattening your palm to your belly. "What would you do to me if I was there with you right now?"
"Oh, I'd fuck you," he put it bluntly. He hummed, and the sound rolled in his throat. "I'd push you against the wall, lift you up, and fuck you until you couldn't stand."
The idea made you weak already. The thought of him taking you rolled in your gut and whispered at your cunt as you clenched around nothing.
"And I wouldn't stop there," he continued, controlling your body with nothing but words as you buried your hand between your thighs and rolled your hips into it. "I'd throw you to the bed and spread your pretty legs apart. I'd taste you, feast on you until you came so many times, you shook. And then I'd fuck you again."
You whispered his name, your breaking trembling.
"I'd put you on your hands and knees, and I'd fuck you into the bed until my name was the only word you knew."
Your breath caught on a moan. You rubbed your finger over your clit, massaging it as you imagined him fulfilling his words. "Would you use my mouth?" you asked breathily.
"Until you could no longer speak."
You cursed under your breath, craving his touch all the more as you fed on the filthy images he put in your head. "I need you, Tom," you whimpered, chasing a high you could not achieve well enough without him.
"I know," he husked. "Keep moaning like that for me."
You did, pleasuring yourself as well as you could. You heard a quiet grunt in his voice across the line and smiled. "Are you touching yourself, Tommy?"
He huffed a breath, listening to you whimper again. "Yeah," he groaned. "Yes, I am, love. You make it hard not to with sounds like that."
You spoke between moans. "I am, too." Obviously, he knew that, but the admission made it all the more erotic. "My hands aren't as big as yours and my fingers aren't as skilled…" You sighed gently, "But your voice is enough to get me off."
Your fingers plunged inside of you, not half as fulfilling as Tommy's as you worked at your clit. "What else would you do to me?"
The sounds of his hand pumping his cock, fast and wet, reached the phone as you listened to the slick sound behind his sighs and groans. "I'd hold you down," he said. "I'd hold you down and shove my cock so deep inside of you." He cursed under his breath as your moans became a little louder, your limbs tingling with a daunting release. "I'd make you fucking scream for me when I hold you down and fill you up."
You moaned loudly that time, so close. Just brushing the edge of pleasure. "Tommy," your voice was insistent, higher-pitched and desperate. "Fuck, Tom."
He was breathless as he listened to you. "I'd fucking breed you," he whispered. "I'd fill you up and breed you, and you would carry my child."
You muffled a rough moan before gasping for breath. "I'm gonna cum, Tom. Fuck, I'm gonna cum for you."
"Then fucking cum."
Your release hit you then, washing over you like a refreshing wave. Not half as powerful as his hands would have made it, but certainly not discontented. His name fell from your tongue again and again as you came, clutching the phone tightly in your grip and wishing it was him.
"That's it," he rasped, his breath choppy. "That's right. Say my name, love."
"Oh, Tommy," you sighed.
You listened to a dark groan rumble in his throat, your brain becoming dizzy with the sound of his panting breath as his own orgasm burst through him. Your name was the word falling from his lips, as if your hands had been the one wrapped around his cock (as you wished they had been). Your heart pounded in his chest as you listened to him cum.
Silence settled as your highs subsided and your breaths steadied. The buzz of pleasure dulled until your hazy mind was cleared enough to think straight.
You were the one to break the silence, to long for his voice so much that the comfort of the quiet was not pleasing enough to keep you from feeding your addiction.
"When are you coming back, Tommy?"
He sighed. There was a pause. "When business here is done."
"When is that?"
"Soon," he said. "Soon." He almost seemed as dismayed by the answer as you.
Your chest ached. "I miss you." That was the third time you said that, bringing far too much truth and desperation to the words as you both let it settle in.
"Just keep talking," he spoke, his voice taking on a different kind of depth as it became soft once more. "Tell me about school. How are the children?" You heard the sound of Tommy's lighter as he flicked it on for a cigarette. "Or your sisters, how are they?"
Your eyes wandered to the clock again. "But it's late, darling, and you need sleep."
"I don't need to sleep right now," he dismissed.
You rolled your eyes. "Yes, you do."
He paused, and the silence built for just a moment before he spoke again. "Why don't we flip a coin then?" You raised a brow. "Heads, and I'll go to sleep. Tails, you tell me about your sisters and the school. Deal?"
Your lips twitched in a tiny smile, and you sighed. "Okay. Flip a coin, then."
You listened to some rustling for just a moment, and then relative silence on his end. When he spoke again, he seemed to be smiling. "What is it?" you asked.
"Tails."
"Are you lying to me?"
"Yes."
You laughed, actually laughed. He called you pathetic when you were moaning underneath him, but there he was lying to keep you on the phone for the pleasure of your company. And, although he'd never admit it, he was definitely the pathetic one when he was weak at the sound of your laughter.
"Okay," you said once your laughter eased to a small giggle. "Well, my littlest sister has officially started at my school. She's teaching the year beneath me. I'm so proud of her."
Tommy sat there and listened to you talk, keeping you there for hours. Every time you suggested it had been too long, he found another excuse to keep you talking, and you complied because you couldn't think of anything you'd enjoy less than ending your call. He may have been selfish, but so were you.
Even as the morning sun was beginning to bleed through his curtains, he listened to your voice. He listened to it slow, dragging behind as the exhaustion creeped in more and more. He listened to your words becoming quieter and quieter until you no longer finished your sentences. And when your words stopped altogether, he stayed back a little while after that to listen to your gentle breaths.
Then he hung up and pushed himself to his feet. He had business to take care of.
-
Fire and ash and dust. That's all your family seemed good for at this point.
Aberama Gold was dead.
Your father was dead.
Granted, a lot of people died that night but fuck. You'd lost your brother, and now your father has joined him in that shithole of a death and left your sisters in your care. Again.
It had been three years of relative peace. You had thought that maybe—just maybe—he would die a normal death. Tommy had returned from America after the stock market crashed, business got bad and foes entered the arena again. Your father, naturally, went to his side. You'd begged whatever cruel gods there were that what took him would be something natural—old age or fucking illness.
To be murdered the way he was… He wasn't supposed to die that way, he wasn't. You hadn't taken care of your family as well as you had for both your brother and father to be so violently killed.
Now the flames licked at the remains of his life, engulfed in fire and likely damning his soul to hell.
You were so tired of losing people. You hoped and prayed for it to stop as you tried to sleep that night. You begged for it all to end when you met that bird in your dreams once again after three short years of silence, feeding off your grief like a vulture.
Tommy had never seen you at such a low.
He'd seen the blaring lights of your car in the front, watched them shut off through the window. He didn't know, at first, that it was you. He just assumed it was someone coming for business—despite the hour—and that he would handle it when he got to it.
But when he heard voices in the main room, voices that were very clearly not from any man and wouldn't be from his sister, he stood from his desk and went to meet it.
He found you there with Charlie, holding one of his toys and laughing when he laughed as you played with him. Tommy watched, fine at first at the way you handled him, so gentle and sweet, a natural caregiver. Charlie's enchanted by you and your sweetness.
But something was off, and he knew it. You'd just lost your father and now you were here, likely waiting for him.
"Mary," Tommy called gently. You only noticed he was standing there then as you turned your head and gave him a wide smile. Your eyes were droopy and glazed over as you slouched where you sat.
Mary arrived quickly, awaiting instruction. "Take Charlie to bed please." She did, walking up to the little boy with a smile as she took his hand. He waved at you, and you waved back.
When Charlie's gone, you stare off in the direction you left with a sigh. "Your little Charlie's so sweet, Tom," you smiled, turning to face him for a moment. You sighed and let your hands fall to your belly, "I want one of me own one day."
He hummed, walking over to you. "Until then," he leaned down and lifted you to your feet, "you need your sleep."
"No." You shook your head quickly. Your words slurred together. "No, no, I don't need to sleep." He walked with you down the hall, and you fought him (although not effectively, just insistently). "If I sleep, I dream. If I dream, I dream of a big, black bird."
You turned around and started walking the opposite way down the hall as he tried to usher you toward the stairs. He followed after you, wrapping his arms around your midsection and holding you there as his lips lingered behind your ear. "The black bird came and went."
You shook your head, leaning your head back on his shoulder and staring at the ceiling with a far off look and a smile that didn't match your grief. "He's still there, darling." You sighed shakily. "Gets bigger every night."
He stood there for a moment with his arms around your waist before dipping down to pick you up in his arms, carrying you up the stairs like a bride. "No one is dying, Miss Gold," he ensured. "Not your sisters and definitely not you."
He carried you all the way up as you turned to face him, worry in your face. "And what about you, Tommy?" You stared at him as he continued down the hall. You raised a hand to his cheek cradling it for a moment. "Are you dying?"
He stared at you, standing in the doorway of his room. He could smell the liquor on your lips, he could see the glaze in your eyes as they stare at you, unfocused. He shook his head. "No," he said. "Not today." He licked his lips and walked farther into the room, closing the door behind him. "My work isn't done yet."
You chuckled, brushing your fingers along his jawline. "The black bird comes for us all." Your smile turned sour as you stared at him before your eyes dropped to his lips.
Tommy sighed. "Not tonight." He lowered you onto the bed, grabbing the covers to try to put over you. "Now go to sleep."
You pushed the covers off you, sitting up on your knees and taking his face in your hands. "I don't want to sleep, darling."
He held his hands to your waist. "No? What do you want?"
You put it bluntly, your words sticky and attempting sultry seduction. It's harder when you're drunk.
"I want you," you moaned, kissing his lips briefly as you speak. "I want you to fuck me. Want you to pin me to the ground and shove your cock in me, sir." You leaned back on your elbows, spreading your legs for him. "Take my mind from the pain in my heart and put it on the pain in my knees."
Tommy watched you. He leaned forward and cupped the side of your neck in his palm. His dark eyes looked up and down your face, lingering on your lips as you smiled at him. He shook his head, "I'm not going to fuck you." Your smile fell, and you looked like you would cry. "Not until I know you're okay, and right now, you need sleep."
He shifted you to lay back against the pillows. You still wouldn't comply, placing a hand on his chest and keeping me back. "Don't make me sleep, Tommy." You seemed almost desperate, but the fatigue was still etched in the expression on your face, there in the depths of your eyes. "Please. I can be such a good girl if you let me."
He was unyielding, urging you back with gentle hands. "Be my good girl and lie down." He kicked his shoes off, undoing the top buttons of his shirt to pull it over his head and unfastening his belt.
"Tom," you mumbled, still refusing, even if your movements are becoming weaker by the second.
"Come on, next to me," he said gently, settling into the bed with you as he pulled you close to him.
"Thomas," you whispered.
He shook his head, "Sleep now." He pressed his lips to your forehead, trying to soothe you. You shifted and kissed his lips, moving your leg over his body to sit on top of him as you smoothed your hands on his chest. You reached down to undo the button of his pants.
Tommy wasn't having it. You wouldn't be getting your way tonight if he could help it as he grabbed your hands. He rolled you over onto your back as he now hovered above you. His hands held your own at either side of your head, keeping you pressed into the bed as he stared down at you.
Your eyes bore into his own and you held your breath as he leaned forward. You lifted your head as much as you could, wanting to meet you in the middle. His face stopped just out of your reach as he shook his head. "Sleep."
He moved off of you, laying down and pulling you onto his chest. He took your hand in his, holding it as the other one rubbed soothing into your back.
You stared at him as he eased you to sleep, and he did the same. He watched your eyelid grow too heavy for you to keep open. He listened to your breath even out. He felt your body go limp against him as finally…you fell asleep next to him.
He kissed your forehead and rested back to do the same.
-
Breath filled your lungs as the bite of consciousness nipped at your heels. Your eyes fluttered open and you looked around, finding yourself in a familiar place with the familiar feeling of Tommy Shelby's chest under your cheek.
And for a split second, you forget everything. You forget the death of your brother, the death of your father, the grief of your sisters and yourself. You forget it all in favour of this moment with Tommy, peaceful and undisturbed.
But then it all came back, and you were shoved back to the reality where your family was dying and you still had to hold it all together.
Your mind was clearer now, the alcohol had washed away and made the weight of it all heavier to bear. You were tired, you were miserable, and all you wanted to do was wade off into the stream and sleep.
Your breath caught in your throat and shook. The pain in your chest and in your stomach twisted, wetting your face and encouraging the tiny sob you tried so hard to keep in. You didn't want to disturb, not when he slept so peacefully next to you with an arm tucked around your body. But your cries, however quiet, roused him from his rest.
He eased up to look down at you. Shushing you softly, he pulled you in closer and placed a hand to your cheek to have you look at him. His thumb wiped your tears away as it came, smearing them on the skin of your cheeks as he placed a tender kiss to your forehead. You want to cherish it more—tenderness is not a word associated with this man—but you can only lean into it and nothing more.
You buried your head into the crook of his neck, hiding your face there. "It hurts, Tommy," you breathed.
"I know it does," he said. He stroked a hand along your head, rubbing your back. "Go back to sleep."
You shook your head. "I don't want to sleep."
He sighed, pulling you from his neck to stroke your cheeks as he looked at your face, streaked with tears he wiped away. "Maybe not, but you need to."
You shook your head, placing a hand over his chest. "I want to feel something else, Tommy," you confessed. You smoothed your hand up the length of his chest, up the side of his neck as you cradled him. "I want you. I want you to take me like you did the first time." Memories of that night flooded into you. "Be rough with me, Tommy. Be hard and mean, make me cry."
You leaned forward, pressing your lips against his as your eyes fluttered closed. He leaned into you, slotting your lips with his as the kiss sank into a depth he knew too well with you, a depth he knew he shouldn't have had with you but did anyway. You sighed at the feeling of it, and he did the same.
As the kiss broke with a tiny smack, he cradled your cheek in his large palm. He sighed, "No."
You frowned and ducked your head against his chest. "Please, Tommy," you whispered, broken and helpless.
He lifted your face again, pressing his lips to yours once more in another very slow and very soft kiss. The warm feeling washed over you and provided a comfort you find it hard to keep. "Don't worry, love," he said as he pulled away. "I'll make you cry."
He sat up, turning over so you laid on the sheets and he leaned over you, his hands on either side of your head in the pillows. "But I'm not going to hurt you," he kissed your lips, "and I'm not going to yell," your jaw, "and I'm not going to call you names," your neck. His hand stroked up your chest, and you thought he'd clasp it around your neck. Instead, he held his palm gently against the side of your neck and kissed you again. As he pulled away, he stared into your eyes, his piercing blues and little less piercing and a little more soothing. He looked at you like you were the stars.
"I'm going to make love to you."
He leaned down and kissed your neck again, tilting your head away to give him more access to press his lips against the skin of your throat. They slid down, not a trace of teeth, only lips and tongue and a kind of tenderness that made you shiver.
One of his legs, buried between your thighs, shifted up to ghost over the ache there. You bit your lip, a small mewl slipping between them at the feeling of your pleasure.
But you didn't want tenderness. You didn't want him to make love to you. You wanted him to shove you to the floor and fuck you like you weren't worth anything. You wanted him to take you over his lap and smack your arse. You wanted him to make you take his cock down your throat and keep it there until he decided it was enough.
But that was not what he did.
Tommy kissed you and kissed you. He ghosted his hands over your body and stroked your skin like you were made of glass. He slipped your clothes off of you and set them neatly to the side, doing the same to the rest of his own. He grazed his lips along your body and let his tongue adore the flesh he could reach. He tasted the sweetness of your skin. He filled your body with pleasure and intimacy and so much care.
"Relax," he whispered, his voice rumbling in his chest as he spoke. "You're alright, love. Let me take care of you."
You couldn't take it. It was too gentle, too fond, too much filling that ache inside of you that had become so permanent in your life, you'd forgotten it was ever even there. Even as you tried to press his head closer, he was gentle. Even as you moved your hips up to meet him, he was gentle. Even as you dug your nails into his skin, wanting to rile him up until he forgot his care and took you like a dog, he was gentle.
Because you needed it.
He lifted your thighs over his shoulders, settling between them as he darted his tongue out and licked a long strip up your pussy. You sighed when his lips closed around your clit and he suckled on it. His tongue licked you up in slow, soft laps, dipping between your folds and curling.
"Tommy, please," you begged, tangling your hands in his hair and tugging. The feeling was too nice, too kind. It writhed in your gut, tingled in your fingers. You needed the burn, you needed the fire. But he would only give you the warmth and closeness that made your throat tight.
His finger played at your pussy, coating him in your slick before slipping into you, a slow thrust in and out as he pushed it in deep. You watched him, whimpering pathetically and hoping your weakness will make him dangerous.
That's how it goes right? Taunt a beast with fresh blood and he'll attack?
But Tommy didn't seem to be holding the values of a beast tonight. His kind fingers filled your pussy and stroked inside of you. He licked and kissed and stroked until you began to tighten around him. His thumb pressed to your clit, rubbing slow, sure circles into it to build you higher and higher.
You were so used to his cruelty, the way he brought you to your pique with gentle hands was so foreign as you moaned. The pleasure wasn't blinding. It unfurled in your belly and then spread over the rest of your body. It loosened all the tension in your muscle and bone, it soothed your blood and lessened the crushing weight on your shoulders. You opened your legs wider, spreading yourself open for more as you keened for his touch.
"Good girl," he whispered to you, his fingers still working away. "Good, breathe." He didn't stop, even as you were coming down from your high. His fingers kept at it, his lips kissed the slick from your folds and whispered praises to you that you never thought you'd hear from him. "I'm right here. You're not alone."
"Tom," you huffed, cradling his cheek in one hand. "Thomas."
Your breaths filled your lungs, made you dizzy with him, surrounded by his scent and his touch. "I know, love," he said. "You're doing great."
His lips met your clit again. His tongue delved into your cunt and licked the wetness off of you. He kept you spread open wide for him as he painted his empathy into you.
He continued to whisper to you as he stroked your clit through to your second orgasm, watching your back arch and your chest expand and listening to your breath shudder through your weak moan. The pleasure washed over like waves on the shore of a beach.
Tommy let your legs down and kissed your belly, an open-mouthed kiss that let's his tongue graze your skin. He moved back up your body, aiming to kiss you again before stopping at your breasts. He took one of them in his hand, squeezing gently and brushing his thumb over your nipple.
Shivers rushed down your spine at the feeling, even more so when he leaned forward and took your nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked it, hardening it to a peak as he licked the tip into your nipple. He rolled it in his mouth, playing with it in the way only he knew how, feeding off your sighs of pleasure.
When that one was hard enough, he switched to the other side, giving it the same treatment as he rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger. You brought your hands to his hair, your grasp much looser as you held onto him.
"Tommy, please kiss me," you sighed as he spent too much time away from your lips. He relented to you, roles reversed as he moved to do exactly that. His lips were warm and plump against yours, still tasting of your slick as his tongue brushed your own and he sucked gently on your bottom lip.
He pulled at you, staring with pupils wide as dimes. His knuckles grazed along your jaw. "Do you want my cock, love?" he asked.
You nodded, crossing your arms at your wrists above your head and wrapping your legs around his waist. "Yes, sir," you nearly begged. "I want it rough."
It was a last ditch effort.
But Tommy shook his head, taking your wrists and pulling them back down to kiss. "No," he said. "You're not getting it rough." He moved your arms around his neck, and you held them there.
Your frown deepened. "Please, sir."
He shook his head. "Use my name."
"Sir?"
"Use my name," he said again, his voice holding a whisper of the dominance you were used to while remaining the soft and gentle whisper you weren't. "What's my name?"
"Thomas Shelby." You were really just trying to get a rise out of him. Again, last ditch effort. Maybe he'd break and fuck you like you wanted it. So hard, you forgot everything that had been hurting you.
"What is my name?" he repeated himself. You felt like it was the last time he would.
"Tommy," you whispered, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his. He did the same, kissing your lips quickly.
"Do you want me?"
"Badly."
"Then I'll give me to you. I'm going to make love to you," he lined himself up with you, stroking the hard length of himself a couple of times. "I'm going to be gentle," he kissed your lips, "and I'm going to be slow," he pressed the head of his cock at your folds, "And I'm going to make you cry."
With one thrust of his hips, he pushed himself inside of you, splitting you on his cock and filling you with his length. A deep sigh slipped out of both of you as your eyes fluttered. He pressed himself all the way inside of you, buried to the hilt and lingered there.
"I'm going to do this because you deserve it," he continued, his voice strained with a slight grunt. His hips eased back, pulling out slowly to the tip before pushing back in. "Because you are gentle," he rolled his hips into you, "and loving," he pulled out to the tip again, "and you don't get nearly enough of it back." He filled you again, you gasped.
His body weight on top of yours was a comfort. He didn't drop all of his weight on top of you, but what he did give was a pleasant pressure on your body. You wrapped yourself as tightly around him as you could, trying to bury your face in his shoulder and being stopped when he pulled you back to look him in the eyes. He stared at you, gazed into the depths of your eyes as he continued to speak, his words a whisper and his tenderness a salve to a broken heart.
"You deserve so much," he grunted. The drag of his cock inside of you was intoxicating, and you wanted more. But he did not change. His pace was slow and steady and filled you with so much emotion, you felt you were going to burst. You were struggling to hold it all in.
"You're beautiful," he said.
You shook your head, "Stop."
"You're lovely."
You tried to turn away, he kept you looking him in the eyes. "Tommy, please."
He held your jaw, still kind, and gazed into your eyes like he was afraid you wouldn't hear him otherwise. "You're fucking perfect."
You broke into a sob, quiet but all-consuming. His hips didn't stop, he kept thrusting in long, deep strokes, grinding his hips into yours and wiping your tears. "You hear me? Eh?" he said, kissing you again. "You're fucking perfect."
His praise was too much for you. He was too nice. You were too used to nice, but kindness coming from a person like this—a man who had fucked you into the floor and called you a filthy whore, a man who had bought you with a penny and used you like a toy—it gave a kind of pleasure you couldn't quite explain as he stroked your cheeks and wiped your tears and told you that you were perfect.
"Anyone who tells you different is a fucking liar," he whispered in your ear, grinding in deep. "You're fucking beautiful and you're lovely and you're perfect. I need you to know that, I need you to know how fucking perfect you are."
You cupped his face in your hands, cherishing him as he spoke, as he thrusted into you, as he filled you with his care and praise and promise. "Do you hear me?" he asked as you closed your eyes shut, overcome by your tears. "Open your eyes and look at me. I need you to see me when I call you my fucking girl."
You whimpered, sighing with every thrust of his hips and holding him to you with your legs and arms. His breath shuddered as he pressed himself deep inside you, your bodies pressed flat together, and rolled his hips into you, stroking that deep part of you that had you gasping for breath.
"Thomas, ahh," you keen, your breath catching on a moan.
He was pressing kisses into the crook of your neck, ghosting his lips where he could reach pressed so closely to you. Your breath shook and your eyes fluttered as you focused on nothing but Tommy, being his girl, being his. You wanted it more than you wanted to admit.
One of his large hands pressed to your cheek as he turned you to look at him. "You said you wanted a baby of your own, eh? I'll put one in you right now. I'd have you growing round with my fucking child." His hips jerked once, a stuttered thrust pulling a moan from you at the idea. "The perfect mother for my child."
A broken sob pulled from your chest at his words, the thought of him having such a claim on you intoxicating you with warmth. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you still pulled him in closer as your bodies were pulled flush together.
She watched him above her, his eyes not quite as cold and piercing, his lips two kisses from swollen, and his cheeks pink with the blood rushing through his veins. His hands on your hips tightened as you met his gaze. Then he let go of you, and you missed the warmth of his palms until his finger intertwined with your own and his thumbs brushed the meat of your palms. He pulled them above your head, pulling both hands into one of his and burying his other hand between your thighs to play with your swollen clit.
"Thomas," you whispered, your voice shallow and breathy and teetering on a moan. You whispered his name again, and again, and again as you felt the pleasure building within you.
His rhythm began to falter, his hips not as steady as before as your whispers of his name beckoned him closer to his release. He cursed under his breath, his chest heavy with breath and something else.
He felt as your pussy tightened around him, squeezing and warming his already hot cock as you grew closer to that tender embrace of ecstasy. "Fuck," he muttered. "Cum for me, love. Let it all go."
And you did. Your back arched and your jaw went slack, your muscles tightened and you fluttered around his cock as you came. A loud moan rolled out of you like the tidal wave that washed over you. You stuttered out his name as you felt him bury his cock deep inside of you as he ground his hips, groaning roughly as he finally came with you.
You wrapped your legs tighter around him as he spilled inside of you, filling you with his cum and making the warmth of it all spread throughout your tired limbs. "Tommy," you whimpered, your voice caught in the pleasure. "Fuck, I love you."
It was a string of words that left your lips in a rush, a fantasy that clawed its way to the surface and revealed something you weren't quite sure you knew yourself. It took you a moment to even realise what had left your mouth, you were so drowned in the dreamlike state he put you in.
Tommy's thrusts slowed to a stop as he stared at your face, his lips parted and plump. He didn't pull out of you or say a word. He lifted a hand to your cheek and brushed his thumb over your skin. You stilled as you stared at him, your heart pounding in fear of his response.
He still didn't speak for a while, watching your face and wiping away the fallen tears streaking on your skin. He licked his lower lip.
"Say it again."
Another tear slipped as you watched him, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I'm sorry," you murmured. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it. It's nothing."
He lifted his chin slightly, rolling his thumb on your bottom lip before releasing it gently. "So you don't love me?"
You didn't respond. You couldn't lie to him, even if you tried. You had only just realised it yourself, only just succumbed to your rogue subconscious and blurted out a secret thought in the heat of the moment. A thought too true for you to deny as you stared at the blue eyes you had spent months—years—memorising, the plush lips your own had kissed a million times over.
"Do you love me?" he asked, his face barely an inch from yours once again. "Hm?"
You swallowed thickly, your voice was hardly a whisper. "Yes."
"Then say it again."
You sighed shakily and licked your bottom lip. "I love you…Tommy."
He closed his eyes and breath in deep, letting it out slowly and softly as he repeated the words in his head like a broken record. You waited in anticipation of his response.
He leaned forward and met your lips with his own, the kiss slow and soft and endearing, brimming with care.
"Good," he whispered back, his voice rough and quiet. "Because I love you, too. Right here, right now, without a doubt… I love you."
You brought your hands to wrap around his neck and pulled him in. He thought you were going to kiss him, but you just held him tightly against your body as you closed your eyes and cried. For the longest time, with your bodies pressed together, with his cock still snug inside of you, with your tears slipping down your cheeks and into your hairline, you cried.
He petted you, stroking his hand along your hair and holding you to him. He let you cry without interruption, without shushing you and telling you "it's okay". He let you sob against him with all the love and grief and care and anger in your heart.
And when your cries subsided and you were able to breathe again, he rolled onto his side and brought you with him as he kissed you again, just as tender and loving as the ones before.
You laid your head on your chest, sniffling gently as your finger smoothed along his skin. "Do you really love me?" you asked quietly.
He nodded, thinking on the way holding you right then made him feel, the nostalgic feeling that filled his homes at the reminder of a love he'd once held in the past, one that still haunts him to this day and only eased with the idea of you. "Yes."
You nodded gently. "You ever been in love before?"
He was a little more hesitant this time, but he still nodded once more as his hand stroked your shoulder. "Yes." He glanced down at you, "Have you?"
You shook your head, "Not like this…" He didn't reply, and you swallowed thickly. "Do you…" You let out a tiny breath. "Do you think I'm going to have a baby now?"
He looked at you and grinned, a look that made you warm. "Hopefully," he chuckled. He leaned back again and closed his eyes, "Gives me an excuse to put a ring on your finger."
You sat up and looked at him, surprise written across your face. "A ring? Already?"
He opened his clear eyes again, still smiling. "I've already decided I'm not letting anyone else have you. So, yes, already." He leaned forward, meeting you halfway in another kiss. "I'm marrying you, love."
You smiled slowly, letting it grow and grow and grow until your cheeks hurt and then after. Glancing away from his face, you let out a tiny chuckle. You eased your way out of the bed, out of his embrace, and went to his coat where you fished a coin from his pockets.
Slipping back into bed next to him, you fiddled with the coin between your fingers. "I'll flip you for it," you smiled. "Heads–"
He took the coin from your hand. "Heads, you marry me. Tails, I marry you. Either way, we're getting married, we're having that baby, and you're stuck with me forever." He tossed the coin away so it landed somewhere on the floor where you couldn't see it with a loud drawl.
You bit your bottom lip, failing to contain a beautiful smile. You nodded, "Okay." You kissed his lips, grinning still as you just kept nodding. "Okay."
"Good," he said, holding you close again and stroking your side. "You're mine, Mrs. Shelby."
You couldn't hold in the chuckle that slipped from your lips. "Well," you sighed happily. "A deal's a deal."
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