I FOUND THE PERFECT SONG FOR A LUCY FROSTBLADE PLAYLIST
It's Winter Wonderland by Animal Collective, a really weird and disorientingly frantic song that I can't get out of my head JUST LOOK AT THESE LYRICS:
Mold of the fawn
I have been frozen there for days
With headlights reflecting in my face
I must be cold on your lawn
But inside I'm okay
I can live without your time
Where snowmen never melt
Instead, they all went shy
And if you don't believe in fantasy
Then don't believe in fantasy
Do you not believe in fantasy because it gets you down?
If you don't believe it's raining
I won't tell you that it's raining
Do you not believe it's raining just because it gets you down?
And if you don't believe in happiness
Then don't believe in happiness
If you don't believe in happiness then man, you must be down
If you don't believe you're dying
I won't tell you that you're dying
But do you not believe you're dying just because it gets you down
Our homes are all white
And we go dancing on the lake
And sleds will cary us tonight
And snowflakes will blow us on our way
Drifts rise to the sky
Rainbow hats fly down to them
And tears are frozen diamonds
So we smile when we're crying
Like I'm picturing this with Lucy in the days leading up to her death, her interaction with the unnamed god, and whatever happened to have her file those papers. In my mind the people who "don't believe in fantasy/that it's raining" are her party members, maybe her goddess but the person who doesn't "believe in happiness" or that they're dying, is ultimately Lucy.
And then we get to her death, where she is (in my theories) trapped in this kind of half state of not being able to fully be at rest (because she's with the god that is unnamed and therefore is not truly in an afterlife), trying to reach out, trying to talk to her friends, trying to do anything...
but she can't.
(interact if you want me to drop my whole Lucy playlist, or any other playlist for any other NPC for that matter... I am always among the mixtapes)
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“and for the briefest moment, you see two silhouettes in the rail of moonlight across the ripples of the lake. a tall and awkward teenage girl’s silhouette and a strong and confident woman briefly hold hands”
a tall and awkward teenage girl.
a tall and awkward teenage girl— god she was only 16! she revived rats in the woods! she was a cleric and a beloved student and tall and awkward and just. lucy frostblade i will never stop thinking about you.
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do you think anyone did her hair?
do you think she had a mother that lovingly brushed her hair in the morning and made it into pretty double french braids?
do you think someone made her breakfast before school and gave her a lunch bag to-go? do you think someone washed her pretty sweater for her?
does anyone miss her? did they look for her with everything they got?
did anyone do your hair lucy? do they miss you? again i ask, did anyone love you lucy frostblade?
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lucy frostblade, who is descended from giants, showing these little rats some kindness and reviving them after her party massacred them.
gorgug thistlespring, who is a half-orc raised by gnomes, using his strength and rage to protect his friends, being a creator rather than a destroyer.
two gentle giants who would have definitely been best friends. gorgug would have given lucy his metal flower in a heartbeat and she would’ve cherished it forever.
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realizing now that the ratgrinders probably DIDN'T kill lucy frostblade at all. likely, they were all killed by the same entity (jace or some other proxy of the rage goddess) at the same time and lucy was just the only one with the integrity to stay dead, instead of becoming a puppet. that's why ruben was so sad when he said she "stuck to her guns." because he wishes he had been able to be that brave instead of living with a constant anger inside him that overshadows every other part of his life! their grief is, on some level, probably genuine
but now they've passed the moral event horizon and killed buddy almost as a sort of "initiation" ritual. a messed-up version of hazing. "you can't be one of us until you die and come back wrong too"
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❄️ Lucy Frostblade ❄️
Fantasy High Junior-Year Mini-Playlist
It's blizzarding where I am, so I've decided it's the perfect time to post my first Fantasy High NPC playlist. Lucy has been captivating my little theorist mind for weeks now, and God, I have so many feelings about her. A lot of the situations that I have this playlist highlighting are very much headcanons/theories about who she was, her relationships, and the events leading up to her death. (also, they are all winter-themed. None of them are explicitly "holiday," but one is holiday adjacent, as it comes from Sufjan Steven's holiday album and is inspired by Christmas, though it is instrumental)
Genres: Alternative, Folk, Instrumental
Vibes: Moody, Introspective, Spiraling, Winter
SPOILERS AND THEORIES BELOW
1. Winter is Blue, Vashti Bunyan
Winter is blue
Living is gone
Some are just sleeping
In spring, they'll go on
Our love is dead
Nothing but crying
Love will not find even
One more new morning
Why must I stay here
Rain comes I'm sitting here
Watching love moving
Away into yesterday
Vashti Bunyan is a name in folk that you need to know. She's 79, and she's still writing amazingly gorgeous music. This one comes from my personal winter solstice mix that I've had since high school, so every year when wintertime rolls around, this song is always one that I am vibing to. I think the way it gets at this really soft sadness is perfect for lucy and how she worked with her goddess.
2. If Winter Ends, Bright Eyes
I dreamt of a fever
one that would cure me of this cold, winter-set heart
With heat to melt these frozen tears burned with reasons as to carry on
Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow
But I swear that I would follow anything
Just get me out of here
Ok, this ties into a theory I have. We were only told a few things about Lucy in her introduction but one of the things that was reiterated several times by Brennan as Yolanda Badgood was that she was deeply sad/depressed. And part of that comes with the territory of her god, Ruvina, whose domain includes sadness, coldness, and winter.
Lucy, before her death, tries to switch her god (whether of her own volition or not) to Ankarna. Ankarna, as we found out, is a sibling of Ruvina and a Summer god, which might also put them originally as a god of joy and warmth- acting as a foil to Ruvina's sadness. So maybe part of the motivation that Lucy had to switch gods was to find something that could bring her out of her depression.
What confirms this to me is that in the d20 mid-season recap, after they show Kristen talking with Yolanda about Lucy, they end it with a clip of Ally as Kristen."Was it to something more positive?"
3. Winter Wonderland, Animal Collective
Mold of the fawn
I have been frozen there for days
With headlights reflecting in my face
I must be cold on your lawn
But inside I'm okay
I can live without your time
Where snowmen never melt
Instead, they all went shy
And if you don't believe in fantasy
Then don't believe in fantasy
Do you not believe in fantasy because it gets you down?
If you don't believe it's raining
I won't tell you that it's raining
Do you not believe it's raining just because it gets you down?
And if you don't believe in happiness
Then don't believe in happiness
If you don't believe in happiness then man you must be down
If you don't believe you're dying
I won't tell you that you're dying
But do you not believe you're dying just because it gets you down?
You can find my thoughts on this song here!
4. The Incarnation, Sufjan Stevens
(instrumental)
This song I picture playing under the miracle Kristen performs, releasing the souls of Lucy and Yolanda in the forest. It is truly gorgeous, and I think the reverence and mystery in it is perfect for a miracle of doubt
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