#cw: dysphoria talk

[prettyboybillyhargrove]

Ftm Billy on his period having gender dysphoria and Steve helping him get through it by being the biggest goof around. He calls Billy's ovaries brovaries and it makes Billy laugh every time.

#cw gender dysphoria #harringrove #ftm!billy hargrove #cw periods #cw period talk #tw period talk

[onippep]

Is it fine to talk about certain scars now?

................. Which ones. Guessing, for thematic sake, you mean these?

[gestures to his top scars]

I, uh, guess so. Pfft.

So, a little recap-- born in Italy, moved over here when I was 16. Shit happened at 19. Came back when I was 24.

[TW FOR MENTIONS OF CHILD ABUSE, WAR, GENERAL UNPLEASANT QUEER EXPERIENCE STUFF, TRANSPHOBIA + HOMOPHOBIA]

We lived in a super-rural area when I was a kid, so I had no idea what all of that was about. I'd find myself doing things that boys would do and I'd get slapped around for it, or never really liking girls. All my friends were boys. I had a lot of body hair for my age. It was weird to my family.

I got a taste of big-town culture from my cousins and uncles and aunts; they're eccentric, and I'm pretty sure one of my aunts was gay (she never married). I got along with her pretty well, but god, my madre hated her, pretty sure. Haven't seen her in a long time.

Bottom line, I was the "weird kid" of the family, so my parents figured (Also as Italians) to give me a brother and sister, see if they could socialize me properly. Maybe they fucked up the first time. Worth a shot, right?

While my madre was pregnant with my brother, we moved here. Maybe city life would do me good. I was thrust into a highschool barely knowing any English, and naturally flocked to the outcasts and socially awkward weirdos that would get tossed around by bullies and such. It was brutal. I met a girl that disguised herself as a boy and went by a boy's name. I met a boy that had a crush on one of the bigger boys of the school. It was a bunch of new experiences that... for some reason, even with my upbringing, didn't feel foreign or weird. It suddenly aligned with me, and I didn't really think about it until I looked in the mirror one day and wanted to throw up at how I looked. I tried dating a girl I got along with. Being a teenager sucks. That shit hits you like a truck and bleeds like an open wound that you have no idea how to stop.

Not that I had the time to find a way. I did bad in school, got held back a few years, and within that time aggressively took my identity into my own hands-- I'm not who my parents thought I was, I hated my name, I hated them, I hated everything. I got quiet. I hated myself because I wasn't the easy, good-grade getting child that was born loving the body it was in.

One day, my dad gets me alone. He asked me what I wanted to do after High School. I said art. He asked me again. I said art. He said that was the wrong answer. I asked him what he wanted me to say instead.

"If you really don't believe you're a girl, then it's time to be a man."

I thought this had good intentions until I was at the front door of bootcamp with some fresh scars on my chest, a few years of testosterone, and...

[sighs]

...

Uh, what was I-- right.

Right, yeah, I was pretty much fully out a few years after I was... discharged. I had a fling with Anton. A few women. Some men. Tried the bisexual label for a bit but found out I was just a full-on homosexual.

...Did I get the surgery before or-- no, I think I...

[blanks out for a few minutes]

...[scratches his head] I-- sorry, I think I got something mixed up. I think I got top surgery after 'all of that'. Shit's scrambled in here.

...

...Right-- I was a fully out transsexual gay man by... I think I was 35? It wasn't a huge focus of mine though since I wanted to try and start my own business. My family knew hard they fucked up with me so they kept their distance-- I let them know how much they failed me (after many years of thinking I was the screwup). Eventually they started using my new name. It was sudden, and there were no apologies.

I couldn't get my art degree, sssooo... Peppino's Pizza it is. Yippee.

Met Gus a year or so after I opened it, connected with a few of the Italian community on the outskirts of the city, uh... then I...

[pauses again]

--Sorry, this, uh, wasn't a really happy story, but I just. Wanted to say that it was worth keeping myself alive to see myself big, fat, hairy, balding, and smiling in the body I've got now. And happy with the men I've decided to let into my life to love me and this body. It's...

It's something. Better than nothing. I understand that now.

#;peppino speaks #;pizzacanon #cw at this whole thing i think but ill. put some specifics #cw abuse mentions #cw transphobia #dysphoria talk #cw homophobia #GOD THIS IS. UH. WOW OK HANG ON #;pizzawhump #THERE. #SORRY IN ADVANCE YALL IT CANT RLLY BE AVOIDED W AN OLDER CHARACTER #long post // #emeto mention

[masquenoire]

Apart from upper body surgery, Roman didn't require much else to maintain such a masculine figure. When he was dropped as a baby, the resulting fall damaged the pituitary gland in his brain, causing his growth (and aggression levels) to go haywire the day he hit puberty. Before then he remained a very small child, one easily pushed around by his parents but remembering every strike, every insult and slap he suffered at their hands until he was old enough to fight back. It came as a nasty shock to Mr. and Mrs. Sionis when the child they resented for years as being slow, ugly and unfeminine seemingly transformed overnight into an uncontrollable monster hellbent on tormenting them at every opportunity.

#💀 || musings #💀 || headcanons #gender dysphoria tw #gender dysphoria cw #child abuse tw #child abuse cw #I just remembered I never really talk much about Roman's issues as a trans man? #He does take testosterone injections to maintain his musculature but that's about it #He's very inclined to mistrust doctors and medical procedures after getting locked up in Arkham #Treating him like a freak in his opinion #The rest of his body though? All natural #And his parents HATED it #It's all their own fault for dropping him on his head the day he was born #Otherwise he might have turned out very differently #But yeah Roman's angry for REASONS #He literally can't help it due to the injury his brain sustained #Frankly it's amazing he survived to adulthood bc of repeated neglect #Like letting him suffer from a rabid racoon bite bc they'd rather not be late to the big bash the Waynes are throwing #Leaving Roman at home alone to suffer all weekend and nearly DIE #So yeah Roman is a modern marvel as to how durable the human body is 😂 #Can I force myself to do one response today let's see #Wope up very late and very tired bleh

[ineffableigh]

hooo lord the brain be spicy today my kingdom for a med to turn off the uterus that doesn't make my brain try to immolate itself a few months in, like jesus christ

#uhhh tags hm #cw reproductive talk #cw period #uhhh #cw uterus #i guess? #lmk if should add #dysphoria

[gooberscollage]

I wanted to archive this eBay listing I found, of two teenagers named Shannon and Betty using this notebook to pass notes circa 1986-1987

Image Credit to designsbytiti on eBay

#1980s #80s #eighties #notebook #journal #diary #vintage #friends #retro #notes #eBay #cw cursing #cw body talk #cw body dysphoria #tw body insecurity #tw body dysphoria

[chai-penguin]

The human brain is so wonderful. Here's a new symptom that I am experiencing and don't recall something like this happening before. Uh, as you may know, my country is going through extreme violence at the moment and this has left me very depressed. I've been isolating, irritable and unmotivated to do anything.

Now it seems I cannot talk to people in real life past a few sentences. Like my brain is blank. I don't know what to say at all and this is not common for me, specially with my loved ones. I can talk out loud to myself, I can hold convos through text (tho a little harder than usual). Idk if this is a symptom of depression combined w my trauma or whatever but I thought it was quite interesting

#vent cw #LOL! #idk if non verbal is the right term since that's an autism term and I do not believe I am autistic #I can barely even open my mouth too ?? #until they talk to me first but even then it's hard to maintain the convo #rejection sensitive dysphoria

[sluttywoozi]

TW: body dysphoria

I've been feeling really down about my body lately (I have ovarian cysts that make my stomach stick out like I'm pregnant and I'm currently talking to my doctor about options)

How do you think Jihoon would react if his S/O was feeling this way?

im so sorry to hear you're feeling that way!

warnings: body talk, medical issues

it's not the same by any means but i have endometriosis and the endo belly is real, so i can def empathize with you

i think jihoon would be extra careful and nurturing, i think he'd make sure you eat things that are good for you but also things that make you happy. i think he'd fix his sleep schedule just bc it means fixing yours too. i think he'd support you through the medical side of things any way he can, in whatever forms are best for you. and i think he'd do everything he could to show you how sexy and beautiful and perfect he thinks you are, just the way you are.

#tw body image #tw body talk #tw body dysphoria #cw body image #cw body talk #cw body dysphoria #✨emily answers✨

[countercharmd]

At some point I’ll make a post about terms that give Ren Big Euphoria (in general convo and in the bedroom) as well as terms that are Off Limits but: he likes to be a pretty boy!! He likes to be cherished and worshipped and cared for!! He loves praise, some dirty talk, some teasing, all that good stuff!!

#save game; ooc. #suggestive cw #//trying to track down where his dysphoria lies has been. interesting #//little to No bottom dysphoria but. not looking to become pregnant yk #//at least….not without a Talk w his partner #//I do know tho he likes using the terms cock and dick for himseld #//ok I’m rambling rn HVVHSBD

[cartoonscientist]

body dysmorphic trans man: I work out so much but I still have these rolls of fat on my hips [cries while pinching his cum gutters]

#this is a callout for anyone who needs to hear it #you just don’t know what muscles look like on afab bodies dude #tw ed #tw bdd #tw anorexia #tw dysphoria #cw body talk #tw fat shaming

[brynnmclean]

Having a week where the body hating is so real, compounded by recent (it's not recent, I just keep having to notice it recently) weight gain which means that I'm not fitting into shorts and shirts that fit me last summer and I am Afraid to try on all the dresses in my closet even though maybe they would be more comfortable in the sweaty, humid summer heat-- but I am more and more conscious of playing A Woman for the first time in awhile which (why! Am I surprised by this!) has me in my "have to be masc leaning in my personal life" feelings which is such a weird knot to unravel. I don't even know how to explain it. I miss my side-shave. I miss cooler weather and sweaters. I'm so extremely reluctant to go clothes shopping. Why is the idea of putting on a dress so weird. I feel like I'm going to have to shave my legs and it fills me with dread. I'm being possessed by a queen three evenings a week. I'm a boy in my brain. I want to start binding again but Hermione needs to have the little tits that I do have. I'm researching so much about pregnant people (and how to embody all of that physically in a body I regularly try not to think about owning) and it's all so gendered and daunting. It's a bad week, folks, sorry.

#this has been a post #to be deleted later #sorry folks having a minute trying to get some of this out of my brain #weight gain cw #gender dysphoria cw #i told someone the other day that i'm okay genderwise with hermione and i guess i lied! #or my answer is changing! #i don't know! i don't know! #something to talk to my therapist about tomorrow i guess #presentation talk #kate is sometimes an actor #local theatre bitching

[beaft]

yo linked to your boobs post - the whole ‘save the tatas’ thing just makes me so mad cause many women with breast cancer genuinely feel dysphoric and distressed post mastectomy if they don’t get implants and associated reconstructive surgery. And among those women some end up with chronic pain and complications like breast implant illness and ruptured implants, and are retraumatised by the procedures needed to address them.

‘Save the tatas’ not only reduces all people with breast cancer down to their breasts, it paints them as somehow essential - alienating those (largely trans people) who don’t want breasts in the first place, and reminding dysphoric women of what they’ve lost. Fuck that stupid sexualised slogan - it helps literally no one. (also on a side note i hate how all breast cancer stuff is always pink and hyper feminine. it’s not only women who are affected)

my thoughts exactly.

#this is really well put thank you #cancer cw #medical talk cw #dysphoria cw

[baby-zakarii]

cw: dysphoria

I gotta buy winter clothes and it makes me feel really bad :'( Everything is either too tight or too long or too feminine and it's really uncomfortable, I know I will feel terrible if I go outside in those clothes :(((

#zaka talks #not agere #cw dysphoria

[dirtynot-e]

trans thoughts again. probably tmi but.

also possible dysphoria tw/cw just in case.

there's one thing that made... and sometimes still makes me feel invalid as a transmasc person : body hair. facial hair? beautiful, would love, 10/10.

but body hair? I hate the feeling of it. and seeing how people hype transmasc peeps with body hair a lot makes me feel like maybe I'm not trans enough. somehow.

because yeah I would keep waxing. shaving my legs. etc.

#kuroh talks. #vent cw #vent tw #dysphoria cw #dysphoria tw #again it's mostly thoughts but jic you know

[baph0meat]

[DON'T REBLOG the built-in setting is not working for some reason]

oof yeah, re: lrb. putting this in a separate post bc i don't wanna dump it in op's tags but the whole thing of like... "i don't want to be disappointed" is something i have felt a lot the last few years. i can't remember what the exact wording was but it's along the lines of that post that's like "you need to stop giving yourself body dysmorphia wanting to look like an anime elf" lmfao

like i do draw myself in a somewhat gender-aspirational way but i keep my self-portraiture way more toned down than, for example, the super SUPER wish-fulfillment-y designs that some of my ocs have. (i mean a lot of them aren't even human which is me basically abstracting a lot of these desires but w/e). like there was even a point where i started backing off a little on certain designs bc it was like. am i kind of just torturing myself by constantly rehashing these totally unrealistic aspirational bodies, ones that NO amount of hormones or presentation tweaks could ever give me? plus like. i am never going to "pass" as [???? i don't even know what i want to "pass" as] anyway. there is a point at which i started feeling like im tired of pining after a body and a face i'm never going to have and the actually pragmatic and self-loving thing to do is to learn to be happy with what i have. you gotta live in the body you've got.

i don't think about this stuff AS often as i used to (probably bc i stopped marinating myself in it, or at least switched the way i play w gender in art to something way more whimsical/playful vs. basically an endless ourobouros of "hhhhhhaha ww. wouldn't it be cool to be a 6 foot tall hairless bishounen with a-cup tits and [redacted unfocused genital whining that is, again, unattainable]" lmfao) but like. man. yeah

#cw dysphoria #kind of #cw weight talk #(not explicitly but like. its very much baked into the dysphoria surrounding 'androgyny' as a default imo)

[strides-art]

Octummber '23 - 2

Oh god the month's almost up I need to get on this! Also, similar to Inktober where some of the prompts I can't think of in a way that's themed similarly, I will sometimes be using an Octummber prompt to make art that is more tangentially related. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Posted using PostyBirb

#Drawing: Digital #Type: Halfbody #OC: Designation Unknown #CW: Dysphoria #So on my main blog #I talked about using Octummber as an OC becoming more confident in their gender identity #And I think important to that are those few moments where things #aren't always great #It gets better #(and fatter) #I promise #art #artist on tumblr #fatfur #furry art #scalie art #furry #scalie #Octummber #Octummber 2023

[faenemy]

Gender (CW:Vent)

ive had gender dysphoria for almost my whole life, i never really felt like a girl even though thats what everyone called me. sometimes i did feel like a girl, but those sometimes were rare. others i felt like a boy, some weird third thing, or a combination of them. years later and i have words to describe those feelings, nonbinary and genderfluid respectively. so i started to call myself nonbinary, cause thats what i am most of the time, and i felt happier, i felt more free. then last night i was laying in bed, reading something, and i realized fuck, i am a girl, like in this moment i am. and it made me feel wrong to call myself nonbinary, because i wasnt. i felt like a fraud, but at the same time i was mourning that i wasnt, a girl. and then it hit me like a fucking truck. i had shoved myself into a box again. in my desperate attempt to make my existence describable to other people, i had made my own prison. i cried when i couldnt be nonbinary, i cried when i couldnt be a boy, i cried when i couldnt be a girl. i like it when things are simple, and im not found of change. but to be a person is to be everchanging, and maybe i can find beauty in that

i just think we all need a reminder from time to time, that lablels should help describe you, not feel like a box youre crammed into. i went to bed a she/her woke up a she/they and thats alright, it may be confusing to others, and not as simple as people would like, but it fits me perfectly, and thats what matters most :]

#vent post #tw vent #cw vent #fae rambles #tw gender dysphoria #cw gender dysphoria #genderfluid #faes gender TED talks