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high-sun-phoenix · 3 months

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17 Chez 1472

Dearest Quamas,

Hi! I miss you buddy, it's been so long since I saw you last. If memory serves, close to three? decades now? time flies, it feels like a lifetime ago.

There's so much to catch you up on, I don't know if I have enough ink with me to do it all at once. A lot can happen in 28 years. Some bad, but many good! And many more unbelievable.

I finally made it out of the underdark! It took me the majority of the time since you've been gone to do it, though, and it wasn't all by myself either. I ran across a whole variety of people, most of whom were hoping to kill me, but I found a handful who were as lost as I was! Not all of them are with me anymore, but I remember them too. Let me tell you all about it!!

It took me some 27 years of stumbling from one cavern to another, tunnel after tunnel after tunnel, to find someone who wasn't an underdark native. Her name was Cordelia. I was walking, mindlessly following a tunnel, when I heard the softest sobs from the top of this boulder in a larger cave. There she was, this scary dwarf lady who was mourning the loss of her own friends in solemn silence. She was in a lot of pain, you didn't need to know her to know how much she cared about them. Poor lady was very on edge, she must've seen some shit. I didn't get to learn much about who they were to her and what their names even were, she was pretty out of it and quietly mourning. Didn't stick around much, but she made me feel not as alone anymore, just by virtue of knowing someone else is in the same boat as me. Don't know what happened to her, she just picked a direction and disappeared down a tunnel, but I hope she made it out. I really really hope she did...

Anyway, the rest of them I ran into after Cordelia skipped out and we became friends super quick! There are three of them: - Vavřinec is the one I spend the most time with, mainly because our skillsets and interests seem to line up in the right direction most of the time. He's also the only other elf! But not the same elf as we are, he's different. We were told he's from the plane of the fey - I mean, look at that name. Funny thing is, he doesn't remember anything about it either. Mysterious! - Cyrwin is probably the most interesting person I've ever gotten to meet, and I feel thankful for having met him. He was chosen by an illithid while we were in the underdark and since then he's been paying the price. I can feel the conflict behind his deadly eyes - all four of them! I would love to pick his brain more, I think we can both learn a ton from each other. - Ukamar is the last and also the biggest one of the bunch. A tribe of giants raised him in the underdark, so a lot of his abilities were limited when we ran into him, but he's come a very long way since! I'm very proud of him, he has a lot of potential still. Cyrwin legally adopted him not long ago, so they're technically father and son haha.

They've been my family away from Weirglen. I've only known them for a handful of months but already trust them all with my life. I wouldn't have been able to get outta the caves without them, wouldn't have found the Codex Terragnosis, wouldn't have been granted my most sacred of titles. I really do owe them an inconceivable amount of our recent accomplishments, and oh how grand they are! I only wish you were here to hear the tales of them.

Long story short, not long after meeting them, we found ourselves on the shores of a vast underground ocean, called the Sunless Sea. Thanks to you and Valna, I got to making a boat for us and we were sailing before we knew it. We must've been on the water for weeks, if not months, and it wasn't a relaxing journey either. The dark seems darker and lonelier when you're afloat and directionless... Anyway, along the way we happened upon a lone Kuo-toa (some abomination of a fish person) who called himself Shuushar and claimed he could "just feel where we need to go, man", and the crazy thing is that he was totally right!! He taught me sailing and navigation, and took us to his home village - which then promptly got demolished by a demogorgon, killing everyone and leveling it to the ground - before we got to run away and set sail again. I saw Cyrwin's faith shine very bright that day. He asked, and Mystra delivered, an Angel to guard her chosen while he escaped. I never believed much, but he makes me feel a different way about divinity, I can't describe it. Anyway.

Remember the mountain dwarves that lived in the Earthfast? I never thought I'd say this, but they are like angels compared to the dwarves we ran into in the underdark! They lived in a city they called Gracklstugh and kept their forges warm by the power of an imprisoned red dragon. The stuff of the legends, they were, some could control the world around them just by their minds. We just kinda found our way to their docks, made some trade and hired a caravan to escort us back to the top. Not after stealing the dragon's egg first though!! I have no idea why we felt compelled to do it haha but the feeling of getting away with it really is something I've never gotten to feel again since.

Our point of exit out of the underdark was somewhere in the western parts of Faerun and we never strayed that far. We sold the egg to one of the churches of Elturgard and got a couple dozen thousand gold and a large plot of land in return, which we then built into a small settlement that we named Everspring! I took inspiration from the fountain at home and made a few ever-flowing hotsprings around the keep, hence the name. Then I took a few months off and paid a visit back home. I wish you were here, bud, Weirdglen just isn't the same without you... Your parents and Valna really miss you, but I'm sure you've gotten to talk to them as well. She's helped name a tree in your memory, you know! But I'm sorry that I took so long to reach out, I really am; but I'm glad we are here now.

Anyway, when I got back, I found a tree that had awakened and was patrolling some area around our forest. He didn't wanna talk, but he showed us the way we were meant to go: further in. He led us to a cave that was home to an impossibly ancient creature, one made of time and history itself, a crystalline dragon, the Keeper of Time - Adodatus. It was with his blessing that I came to be the guardian of the Codex Terragnosis, and oh what an honour that was. But alas, there were more important matters to which we were needed to attend.

We found ourselves involved in some politics, and made our way to the great city of Baldur's Gate, and it was awestriking! I had never seen that many buildings sprawling so close next to each other, not even in Tsurlagol! Truly one of the most magnificent sights of my travels. It was a shame that we witnessed an assassination and uncovered a large cult operation under all that glory. We infiltrated their lair and a ruthless battle ensued. By the power that was entrusted with me, I invoked the wisdom of the Codex and asked for the Hierophant Prithviraña to find their way to our world through my vessel - and with that I was transformed into a legendary creature: a Phoenix. With their guidance, I rid Baldur's Gate of the cultists, left them as a lesson to be remembered, and found my peace in Candlekeep. This duty earned me a title that was assigned to me millennia ago, the greatest honour of my existence, but it came at a price far greater than I anticipated and the tome was taken away from my custody to be kept safer. Though I still feel its power surging within me for another tenday or so.

It was at Candlekeep that we were informed of the severity of our situation: the Elturian capital city of Elturel, along with all of its population, had entirely vanished and been replaced by a wasteland crawling with undead. The great mage Silvera informed us that the city had descended into the hells - the deserts of Avernus, to be exact - and we took it upon ourselves to attempt to rescue it. In the meantime, though, our predicament provided us with most unique of opportunities: V found himself as the next highest nobleman in line to the throne and was thus crowned High Rider, and Cyrwin as the holiest man of the realm was granted the title of High Observer. With newfound determination and purpose, we set aside caution and left the comfort of the Material plane.

Quamas, this is where we meet near the present time, and dearest friend it is painful beyond imagination. I don't know if your 13 years seniority was ever spent outside of our Gray Forest, let alone any of Elturgard, but believe me when I say the beauty is entirely replaced by pain. Of that of humanoidkind and other life forms alike. Peace is as rare as a stoic Weirwood in the Anauroch, water far more scarce than an elk swimming in the Dragon Reach. We haven't been here two tendays and I long for a living tree. I turned 147 some three days ago, the 28th I've celebrated without you, but this has still been far more grim and lonely than any of the last ones. Cyrwin's faith lights up our days and warms up our nights, and I'm still struggling to grasp it completely, but I do hope whoever watches us will lend a hand. You know, we shared a vision several days ago, by means of an artifact we retrieved from the most blighted of places I've ever entered, Torm's holy helm hidden in the hollows of a corrupted cemetery. I was shown the greatness of Bhaator, and assumed my place through the eyes of the Angel Hayyil of Mt. Celestia. It was there that I saw the grand general Akhazriel find Hayyil, thousands of years before even our ancestors were alive, grasped the sides of his face and spoke to him, through him, to me. He called me by my name, Ae'lar, and dubbed me the High Sun Phoenix. I can't help but feel so small and humble, but so... doubtful and overwhelmed. I don't know if I believe enough to pray, but how does one deny a minor miracle like this? I know if there's anyone to accomplish what we've set out to do, it's us: the Sunless Sailors, but is this a task meant to be accomplished by anyone?

You know, we ran into a bed of Gricks earlier today, deep under the sewers, a mother and dozens of hatchlings. Where they were was truly inaccessible to most anyone else, and yet there we were, having sought passage through their home. They were of little hindrance, but my friends slaughtered them all. Mother and hatchling alike. I hurt for them, Quamas, they were survivors just like us, so far removed from their terrain of comfort, and yet we saw ourselves superior enough to relieve them of their survival. They weren't hunters, mere scavengers, and we entered their den like any other prey they'd encountered. We could have ran, but we chose to not leave them be, and I cannot come to terms with our cruelty. What gave us the right to do what we did to them, how could they have understood? This city, this whole plane; I miss you dearly but am I glad you don't have to experience this. The suffering changes people.

We were meant to infiltrate Helm's Shieldhall today, a strategic location that acted as the stronghold for many corrupted knights, and we failed to do that too. I almost lost all of my friends, I almost lost myself. Each of them did their absolute best to get my unresponsive ragdoll to safety. Ukamar sacrificed a decade and a half of his post-mortem peace in a fiendish deal most unfavourable just to save us. I feel undeserving but responsible all the same. We lost a lot in this skirmish, and it was hours ago, and all we accomplished was arming our enemy with means of committing more atrocities. This is unacceptable and we must go back.

Quamas, remember the game we used to play back near the outskirts of Lyrabar? Where we used to go and see who can run the farthest in the bog by the edge of the woods? It was always Erdan'n who came in first, you second, Xanaphie third, and the rest of us would barely make it a few steps. Oh, how simple the times were! Well, I've been thinking, Quamas, and I think I might be able to do something like it. I can try, anyway. If I can summon the bog, or at least create one similar enough, I might be able to make them play our game! I've been thinking a lot and I think I could do it. Maybe the fey spirits of our Forest could lend a hand to me as well...

Dearest friend, the night grows long and my drinks are drying up all the same as my tears, with a long long day ahead come tomorrow morning. I miss you dearly, and know that no matter where you are, your bright smile illuminates my every step. I love you dearly, and hope to see you soon one day.

Yours truly and eternally, Ae'lar Eren-aeth 17 Chez 1472

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littlx-songbxrd · 2 years

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Cordelia and Alastair Carstairs

Two birds on a wire,

One tries to fly away and the other,

Watches close from that wire.

He says he wants to as well but,

He is a liar

- Two birds by Regina Spektor

#all of you refused to get sad with me over two birds being a carstairs sibling song... had to take matters into my own hands/ lh #no but Alastair being the bird who refuses to let go of the wore because he feels responsible of the entire families burdens #the way cordelia offers him that if he ever need anything he can always stay with her and he refuses #his family needs him and that goes above anything he may want #he is the liar #hes not taking the help #cordelia flies away #tlh #tsc #chain of gold #chain of iron #the last hours #alastair carstairs #cordelia carstairs #zia edits

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thestarkster1465 · 2 years

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TID & TLH Incorrect Quotes

Cordelia: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it. Matthew: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side. Alastair: Yo Socrates, it’s a fucking cookie

*Tessa going to Will for help after Sophie knocks out Jessamine with a mirror in Clockwork Princess*

Tessa: Will, I need some advice. Will: You need advice from ME? Tessa: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Charlotte: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without? Jessamine: Will, probably.

Matthew: How would you like your coffee? James: As dark and as bitter as my soul. Matthew, to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar.

Will: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Jem's birthday invitations. Tessa: Well, what are they supposed to say? Will: "Jem's birthday". Tessa: So, what do they say instead? Will: "Jem’s bi". Tessa: Tessa: Works out either way.

Jem: That's ridiculous, Will doesn't have a crush on me. Tessa: Yes he does. Cecily: Yes he does. Will: Yes I do.

James: Matthew, fuck off. James: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

Matthew: Alastair, my old friend! Alastair: I think you tried to kill me at some point. Matthew: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

Cordelia: Look guys, I need help. Anna: Love help? Matthew: Financial help? James: Emotional help? Lucie: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Lucie* Lucie: What?

Jem: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Tessa, blushing: Okay. Jessamine: It's fucking summer.

Jem: Will, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean? Will: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later. Jem: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Tessa. Will: Wait- Jem, no-

James: Can we go to a haunted house? Lucie: What’s wrong with the one we live in? James: Wh-what? Lucie: Goodnight, Jamie.

Lucie: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Grace. Malcolm: Did she get me the stuff? Lucie: Yeah, she says she got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Malcolm: Wow! Where’d she find 12 gallons of fake blood? Lucie: You wanted fake blood? Malcolm: Lucie: I’ll go call Grace.

Jessamine: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons! Will: Bet you I can! Charlotte: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

James: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here. Lucie: Matthew is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Jamie. Matthew: I feel like James is the more responsible one of us two, though. James: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control. Matthew: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

Will: Would you take a bullet for me? Jem: ...yes? *Jessamine angrily burst into the room* Will: *running away* Great, thanks!

Jem: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Will: Wow. They sound stupid. Jem: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Will: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Jem: I guess you’re right. Hey Will, I love you. Will: See! Just say that! Jem: Holy fucking shit. Will: If that flies over their head then, sorry Jem, but they're too dumb for you. Jem: Will.

Tatiana: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”. Tatiana: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

Charlotte: Did you miss me while I was gone? Henry: You were gone?

Charlotte: I am in charge of this disaster. Will: I have a name, you know.

James, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. Lucie: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Matthew: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Christopher: They do. Thomas: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Matthew: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited. Thomas: "If" Alastair: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and he might not even die.

Tessa: How do you do that? Will: I'm fearless. Jem: I saw you run from bees ducks yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. Will: I'm mostly fearless.

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lanawinters-ily · 3 years

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‘Our little one’

Just how long can you hide your illness from Delia & Mina? What if they are faced with the possibility of losing you?

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x reader x Wilhelmina Venable

Word count: 4000

Warnings: sickness, v*miting & overload of soft fluff to give you a toothache

You had awoken that morning with a headache & slight stomach pain, multicolours dancing in your vision like some kind of high school disco. You reached for the glass on the bedside table in assumption that lack of water was causing the pain, gulping it down to rehydrate the Sahara Desert in your mouth. The alarm blared at seven am, multiplying the pounding in your skull as you jumped out of bed to get ready for the day. Regret consumed you at getting up so quickly as dizziness swam over you & the glass slipped out of grip, momentarily forgotten in waves of exhaustion. It shattered at the contact of the wooden floor, the sound booming through the room, amplified by the echoes that followed. Zoe ran into the room to check the source of the noise, to be met with you gripping the frame of your bed with white knuckles, surrounded by broken glass shards.

“(Y/n/n), are you ok? You don’t look too good,” she looked at your pale form with a concerned expression; using magic to eradicate the translucent daggers on the floor before approaching you gently. She rested her hand on your shoulder as you snapped out of a daze, lucidity shocking you into reality, avoiding her question & attempts to push you back into the bed.

“I’m fine Zoe, just a little tired. I’ll meet you downstairs for lunch later?”, the rising intonation prompting her to leave to hide any sign of weakness. Zoe rolled her eyes at the display of stubbornness & assured you that she was going to be watching, making it your turn to roll your eyes at her maternal nature. “Fine,” you replied slightly irritably, “but do not tell Cordelia or Venable alright? They’ve both already got enough on her plate.”

Your girlfriends were incredibly busy at the moment with there being a recent influx of students & Cordelia just being the fucking Supreme in general. You felt useless in their rushing around, as you were younger than them, & still taking classes to learn to control your powers more. The thought of burdening them any more by worrying over you was the last thing you wanted.

Zoe sighed once again in exasperation, “Alright, but if you get any worse, I will be telling Cordelia straight away.” You nodded in gratitude as she exited.

Your shaky frame stumbled towards the bathroom to try to look semi presentable for the Supremes’ class, even if you did feel like you had just crawled out of a grave. Your usually quick morning routine felt like swimming through cement, as every little step seemed to overwhelm your body with weariness. All you wanted to do was sleep, but this illness would have to drag you down with force unconsciously before you would skip Cordelia’s class.

- - - - -

You were late. It seemed that the ten-minute interval in your getting dressed to sit on the floor to make up for sleep-denial, had made you behind schedule which was extremely abnormal for you. You could tell that this was also what Mina thought as she caught your eye on the way to her office, glancing at you quizzically, & she only stared more when you doubled over the winding banister as the movements down the stairs jarred your increasingly aching stomach. Shooting her a quick smile, you hurried along before the stern woman would figure out your deceptive state, not wanting her to take one look at you & march you off to bed.

As you entered Cordelia’s classroom, tripping over your own feet in a confused trance, the whole class watched you; mutters swarming like flies in your feverish haze. Your girlfriend’s shifting eyes bore holes into you as she tried to scan your being for answers to your lateness & clumsy appearance. Muttering a short apology, you let your shaky legs sink down into a chair at the back, thankful for the support for your collapsing frame & cramping middle, avoiding Cordelia’s accusing stare.

This was going to be a very long hour.

- - - - -

Indeed, your suspicions were correct. The hour felt like a whole day, your fatigued state losing all semblance of time. Just to add to the annoyance of feeling so achy & sick, Cordelia’s suspicious glare had barely left your desk the whole time, as she watched you stumble & confuse all the spells you could usually do in the blink of an eye. She knew something was wrong, but would not approach you in class because you both knew that your stubborn nature would not allow her to fuss over you without a fight.

Once the class had eventually ended, you attempted to get up rapidly & speed out of the door to escape your girlfriend’s confrontation, but your legs had turned to jelly since sitting down & you fell back into the chair as quickly as you had risen, flashing spots shimmering in your vision-line once again. The pain in your abdomen had increased to an unbearable sharpness, as if you had swallowed the shards of glass from the floor earlier; changing position from below your middle to your bottom right side. Pushing aside your anxiety & misery, you were still absolutely determined to deal with this pain independently, despite your gut telling you that this was not a simple winter stomach bug.

Cordelia kept you in the corner of her eye as she thanked the other girls, unease growing at the sight of you struggling to get to your feet. Her usually calm front was flustered & rushed as she finished her address, quickly sending a message to Ms Venable through one of the younger girls. Her instincts told her that this was serious, & they were never wrong.

- - - - -

Mina rarely got messages from Cordelia when they were both working, especially not through one of the girls, so she knew something was amiss straight away. Her stone-cold exterior had always had a hidden weak point for her two beautiful girlfriends, the absolute lights of her life, so the thought that anything could be wrong terrified her like nothing else. She hurried out of her office as fast as her cane would let her, the ache at the curve in her back forgotten as all the possible emergencies ran through her head. Entering the classroom, she was met with the sight of Cordelia kneeling in front of (y/n), trying to speak evenly to her to pry out some sort of confession.

“Delia? What’s going on,” she questioned; the sight was concerning, especially how (y/n) seemed to be resisting any form of contact from the Supreme, when you would usually revel in any intimacy. You were yelling with angry tears spitting out of your eyes like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Leave me alone, I’m fine,” followed by mumbles seemingly laced with delirium. Both women watched helplessly as you stood up on trembling legs, grasping into the desk like a lifeline, before attempting to stagger forward towards the door, one arm protectively shielding your stomach.

Your girlfriend’s anxiety quickly turned into horror as you swayed & the colour drained from your face, not that it was really there anyway. Your trembling knees finally gave up after all the strain of the morning, crashing into the floor as your eyes resided in the back of your head, body making a loud thump on the floor.

“Little one?”, Wilhelmina spoke, breaking the silence first as she tried to gage a reaction from your unconscious form. Cordelia hurriedly snapped out of her aghast trance as she kneeled down next to the body of her love. She felt for a pulse, letting out a gentle sigh of relief at the strong beat from your wrist, but then the held breath returned with force at the heat radiating from your forehead. “God, Mina she’s burning up,” Cordelia said shakily, her voice betraying the severity of the situation, as well as the use of her other girlfriend's nickname in broad daylight. The usually composed woman stared back at her dumbfounded, frozen in fear. “Sweetheart, darling can you hear us?”, Cordelia repeated until a low groan erupted from your mouth & your pupils slowly emerged from heavy eyelids. Your girlfriends both grabbed your body at this noise, stroking your cheeks & shushing your moans of pain as you came to.

Light was what you saw first, a glittering chandelier that hung from the ceiling of the room, sparkles blinding your unused eyes. Miscellaneous noises were the next sense to reveal themselves, as you used all your energy trying to listen. When you recognised the loving noises of your girlfriends, the familiarity seemed to sober your half-conscious state as the sight of them swam into view.

“Oh, sweet girl,” Mina whispered to calm your thumping head, “you had us so very worried.” Water seemed to slip down your face as you realised you were crying, mirroring the tears down your partner’s cheeks, soulmates bonded in emotion & feeling.

“Oh my angel, please don’t cry.” Cordelia sniffed, “you’re safe & it’s all going to be alright, we’re here.” She cradled you into her chest to calm your anxious breaths as Mina stroked your hair, both of them knowing straight away exactly what would settle you down.

“Let’s get you more comfortable, shall we?” Cordelia didn’t wait for an answer as she grasped both your hands & transmuted to your shared bedroom, into the large bed, tucking all of you in together. Despite the chills & pain radiating through your body, you felt like the luckiest woman alive right then as you all snuggled into each other, your girlfriends pushing aside their priorities to be there with you.

- - - - -

There were bees in your head. Swarms of them, making buzzing sounds around your ears, your brain, your skull; irritating your tired mind. They were just getting louder, their stings creating little prickles on your skin, their wings swirling around just to make your head spin & ache painfully. The swarm was growing fast & the pressure was too much to bear, the chattering turning into yelling as your head felt fit to explode. The sensation was way too much & now all you could hear was screaming; yelling 'Stop, stop...'

You shot up out of the bed, panting as if you had just run a mile, those screams still grated your aching head.

"Sweetheart! Hey, it's ok, you're safe," Cordelia shushed you in a groggy tone, as your other girlfriend sat up slowly to assess the situation. The senses of your bedroom returned to you, your own screams halting & the buzzing residing in your head as the recollections of being ill came back to you. Your head now pounded aggressively, the skull a punching bag for a pulsating brain, as the dizziness from earlier returned with a swirling force whilst the sharp stabbing in your stomach returned with a teasing vengeance. Your lovers looked in concern at each other, an expression seeming permanently etched onto their faces at the sight, only growing as you slumped onto the blonde a little more when the dizziness caused your sight to fade in & out in flashes of light. "Alright darling, take a deep breath & we will lay you back down again," Delia rushed, trying to display calm to offset Mina's clear anxiety. Hands scrambled to gently lower the clammy body between them onto the damp pillows once again, comforting you with their delicate stokes & light kisses as you tossed & turned in near-agony.

The warmth radiating from your body was noticeably increased from your earlier fainting episode, beads of perspiration from your nightmare only increasing your chill-like state. The women beside you obviously noticed this as well, as they both hurried out of bed to run around & fetch whatever they could to alleviate your sickened state. Your mentality was so dimmed from the feverish haze that you could only make out short bursts of feeling; the dark shadows of Cordelia & Mina in the half-lit room, the icy flannel placed on your head which only increased the shivers, & tentative murmurs as you drifted in & out of a fitful consciousness.

- - - - -

As you slept, you girlfriends looked on with a disturbed countenance. They had never seen you so small & weak; it was as if they were caring for a feeble child as opposed to a grown adult; you could barely even lift yourself up or keep awake for longer than ten minutes. None of Delia's healing potions seemed to be taking effect, & neither had Wilhelmina's various theories she had found after extensive, frantic Google searches. They refused to leave the room most of the time, just in case your temperature went up even 0.1 of a degree without them there, or if you woke in a panic. As witches you didn't often have to venture to visit doctors due to the bountiful array of herbal remedies collected & curated by members of the Coven over centuries, but it was looking to be one of those few occasions with you, certainly increasing your girlfriend's anxiety.

What's more, you were no longer keeping down anything, not even water, & the pure sharpness had radiated completely into your side & through your back; almost reminiscent of Zoe's impalement incident a few years ago. The force of the pain rendered you to a small ball on the bed, unable to move or to speak, the illness reducing your communication to tiny mumbles & groans of discomfort. No amount of cooing or cuddles from Delia & Mina were soothing you at this point, in fact you used your only force to propel your girlfriends away from you in a fever-filled irritation & desire to be left alone to suffer forever.

After a few prolonged hours that had felt like weeks, the two pacing women made the executive decision to rush to hospital immediately, wrapping you in blankets & practically carrying your half-responsive body between them into the car, not even flinching as Madison drove like she was in a Formula One race. Both Mina & Cordelia had zoned out into a foreboding state, all senses of the outside world drowned out by their sheer tsunami of emotions of protectiveness & fear, their mental pain simulating your physical ailments. You seemed barely alive, which was the biggest fear both your lovers could ever encounter - bigger than the Antichrist, the scoliosis, their shared trauma. If you died, they would die too; their love, their life.

------

Half an hour later, the three of you sat in the emergency room of the hospital, waiting for a doctor as both women had laid you across their lap, sitting up causing too much distress for the storm in your stomach. "How long are we to wait here? We've been sitting in this room for ages!" Wilhelmina grumbled irritably, snapping at the receptionist for about the fifth time since they had arrived; "Can't you see she's in agony?". Cordelia opened her mouth to calm her angry girlfriend, but was side-tracked when a loud whine erupted from your mouth & you emptied the contents of your stomach onto the shoes below you, bile burning your scratching throat & causing your head to thump aggressively. The receptionist widened her eyes & hurried off into the back as the Supreme shushed your slurred apologies & stoked your sweaty, damp hair away from your translucent face as tears ran down. Wilhelmina's previously red-hot ambience dropped immediately as she ran to your side, bending over to kiss you all over your cheek & forehead in a way that would usually make you giggle, used as a reassurance that Ms Venable was gone & your Mina was back with you; causing an air of calm to wash over you despite your pain-filled state.

Once the receptionist had arrived back, you were quickly escorted into a side examination room to be checked over, Delia pushing you in a wheelchair as you could no longer support your sluggish legs, & Wilhelmina almost holding you upright in the chair with her free hand as your body doubled over. You were helped onto the bed in the middle of the room as both women sat on each side, a sandwich of love & comfort as they stroked each shoulder soothingly whilst you waited. The doctor soon arrived to start the examination, discovering a sky-high temperature & rising blood pressure, tells of the sheer torment you felt. Concern was written across their features, & only multiplied when they pressed with a feather-light touch to the right of your lower abdomen & released. At this point you screamed in anguish, heaving sobs turning into squeals of pain as a white-hot poker was stabbed into your stomach & left you reeling with sickness. Your girlfriends beside you held you tight as they attempted to calm your distressed state, tears rolled in a waterfall-style down Cordelia’s pale face as Mina’s jaw dropped at the noise. The doctor wasted no time with long-winded explanations as doctors are usually known for, instead quickly rushing through a shortened explanation of the severe appendicitis they were certain you were suffering from, & saying that they were taking you into the operating room to remove it immediately.

So, the Supreme & her purple-wearing girlfriend were left in the eerily silent consultation room, pondering on their last touches with you; their last kisses, their last words. Both were too afraid to state the possible, but what if they were counting these as your final moments together?

- - - - - -

It had been an hour. Both women could honestly state that these past 60 minutes had been the longest of their lives as they watched each second intently on the ticking clock in the wall, each small click a mocking reminder of fear, of danger. The minutes passed by like a whole week on their own, so by the hour, a year had passed; seasons dancing through life as they sat frozen in time. Like a pathetic fallacy of their lives without you - a life of dead stillness, no movement or emotion in sight.

"Where is she?" Wilhelmina grumbled, breaking the unkind silence for the first time; "The doctor said an hour, it’s been an hour & nothing!", as her authoritative voice wobbled with a mixture of misuse & nerves. Cordelia had no answer to the question, simply looking down at the fingers fiddling in her lap, dancing with itching anxiety, all composure & power stance lost in a sea of 'what if's?'. The blonde didn't want to leave her head, because she felt that if she took in her senses & the outside world without you there, she would just collapse with overwhelming grief, falling down a rabbit hole of loss like Alice in Wonderland.

"Where is she?”, her other girlfriend repeated, this time her voice unmistakably cracking with fear as Wilhelmina Venable; cold, harsh, emotionless, heartless Wilhelmina Venable, burst into noisy cries, clinging onto the Supreme like a comfort teddy given to a wailing child - not that there was much distinction between the metaphor & the woman at this point. This uncharacteristic show of truth from Mina was enough to snap Cordelia out of her denial trance as she held her up on the hard-backed chair so that the force of the sobbing woman wouldn't pull them both to the floor below. She knew one of them had to be strong now, or the rabbit hole would suck them under the ground forever. Delia launched into her default motherly routine, cooing & stoking Mina's damp cheeks as she rocked them both back to a shore of rationality from which they had drifted on the current of apprehension.

“Oh darling,” Cordelia said in the softest voice she could muster; “The doctor said an hour was the minimum, & that they didn’t know how bad the infection would be until they got in there. We’ve got to be patient, she’s in the best hands love”. Wilhelmina’s tears did not abate at this slightly clinical response as she whined:

“She’s not in the best hands Delia, we’re the best hands. We know her, she’s ours but she’s in a room with a bunch of strangers. We couldn’t help her Delia; we couldn’t help our girl!”

At this admission both women erupted into floods of emotions, projecting into each other’s shoulders as their tears ran into each other like beautiful tributaries merging into a stream of bittersweet affection. They had never been in such close proximity in such raw desperation, yet they were so far from their love, the third point to their triangle, the glue which stuck their two halves together. They sat in the same position for half an hour, satisfied with the physical comfort of one another, but each of their minds racing through worst case scenarios, keeping their doubts inside, as to not pass them on to the woman in their embrace. But there was one possibility that could not be chased away.

“What if she dies?”

It seemed that Wilhelmina’s busy mind did not have the capacity to cage this thought, the unspoken one, the fear above all fears, said out loud. She clasped her hand to her mouth in a shocked manner, in disbelief that she said the worst out verbally as if it was now an inevitability waiting to happen. Cordelia felt a sudden ache in the middle of her chest, her heart feeling like it was shattering already without the glue needed to hold it together.

They imagined Christmases without three stockings by the fire, the two of you forcing Mina to put hers up even though you secretly knew she loved it, imagined Easters without chocolate smeared over your face as they kissed it off in fits of giggles, imagined Halloweens without your goofy costumes & they imagined the birthdays you would miss as each isolating year would pass.

How the three of you would never grow old together.

At this point the universe must have had enough of laughing at the two sorrowful figures in the hospital room, as a bed was wheeled into the space with a loud clunk. Cordelia & Wilhelmina jumped in disbelief, as a rush of air filled their deflated lungs at the sweet sound of your voice. Of course, all you were making was unbecoming mumbles & groans as you exited a sleep-filled haze & came back to your surroundings, but it was absolute music to both women’s ears as they ran towards your bedside as fast as they could. The rapid movement shook you from a blurry haze as you peered through half-shut eyelids at your two beautiful girlfriends beside you.

“Well,” you said in a husky tone exaggerated to sound like a much deeper voice, “what a sight to wake up to”

Mina punched your shoulder lightly whilst Cordelia burst into a fit of shaky giggles, remainders of water running down her face, shaking you out of your drugged-up humorous state. “Hey, hey my loves, what with all the crying?” you chuckled to both of them, taking their trembling hands into your own & wiping their tear-stained faces. Pulling them into the bed with you & snuggling as one, you whispered, “I’m not dead yet sweethearts, you can’t bump me off that easily.” At this, all seriousness was dropped like a baby when Lady Paulson sees a bee, & you all returned to a sense of contentment as if you had never left their grasp.

You fixed them & repaired them always; in the past, present & future.

“We love you sweet girl & we couldn’t live without you, not even for a few hours,” Delia started cuddling you close & sniffing your hair. Mina simply looked down on you with all the adoration in the world captured in a single gaze, & muttered,

“Our little one”

Taglist: @ka-s @ninaahs @stayeviildarling @babypocahontas @lilypadscoven @winters-witch-bitch @basicasshole @bottom4delia @forevercountess @violentwavesofem0tion @sporadicsupercorpquotesmonger @liberosisaspire @mellowalieneggsknight @thecasualgeek1 @lucykilljoy

#cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode x wilhelmina venable #cordelia goode x reader x wilhelmina venable #cordelia goode #wilhelmina venable #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #ahs coven #ahs apocalypse #sickfic

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frankierose · 2 years

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its valentines day.

you know what that means!!!

thinking (and writing) about all my favorite btvs ships and the songs that remind me of them!!!!! *heart shaped confetti flies in the air and pollutes your brain*

this is going to be a hell of a long post so i'm cutting it off in case you dont want to scroll for 20 hours. lets get started!! (there's no specific order for the ships btw. i did not feel like organizing them)

Willow/Tara

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? by She & Him Why don't you sit right down and stay a while? / We like the same things and I like your style / It's not a secret / Why do you keep it? / I'm just sitting on the shelf

i could go on and on about this song its SOOO FUCKING GOOD, but overall it just reminds me very much of willow as a whole tbh. i think it fits both willow/oz and willow/tara, but certain lines just work better with the latter so thats why its under tillow! it just fits the homey little sweet vibe that the two of them have. also the lines I think you're just so pleasant / I would like you for my own reminds me of this ICONIC scene between the two of them I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOU GUYS

Spring Cleaning by Jack Stauber You don't wanna listen / You just wanna always sing the words I say / So you can tuck them all away (way) / And save them for a spring cleaning day

yes i said i love them and yes this song is terribly sad and angsty. it just makes me think of the fucking flower that willow uses in a spell on tara to make her forget about being angry at her, and then the whole tabula rasa thing......... AHH :(

Xander/Anya

Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse She talks kinda lazy / And people say she's crazy / And her life's a mystery / Oh, but love grows where my Rosemary goes, and nobody knows like me

xanya is actually not one of my fav ships simply because i cant STAND what xander did to her at their WEDDING in front of all those PEOPLE. BUT. this song literally fits them so well - it's about an average joe (like xander) being positively absolutely in love with a girl who's said to be weird and crazy (like anya!) but hes okay with the crazy because nobody knows her love like he does the lines I'm a lucky fella / And I just gotta tell her / That I love her endlessly make me melt because xander would totally fucking say that AAGGHH its such a sweet song and i think it highlights the nicer parts of their relationship

Willow/Anya + Willow/Cordelia

Puppy Princess by Hot Freaks Hold me / Hold me, I'm your bunny / Tell me I'm not funny / Tell me I'm legit

i couldn't decide if this fit willow/anya more or willow/cordelia more so i'm putting it in BOTH. in my mind the song is from the perspective of willow, trying her best to ignore her feelings for anya/cordelia when they're in their relationships with xander, but she ends up fantasizing about being with them in the chorus and its very messy because she knows it'll never happen :( also, i think the bunny line is funny because of anya's inescapable fear of bunnies. anyways all of xanders exes (if you could call willow an ex?) should be dating. WLW FTW WOOOO YEAHHH

Darla/Drusilla

Always Forever by Cults You know you've got me in your pocket / You don't just have to wait around / You know I've got you in my locket / Just come here and we can settle down

i actually don't have much to say about this one LOL. i just think the lyrics fit them really well as per usual the eerie, sort of unhealthy and vaguely codependent vibe of the song reminds me of them! thats all!

Buffy/Angel

When the Day Met the Night by Panic! at the Disco So she said, "That's okay / As long as you can make a promise not to break / My little heart or leave me all alone / In the summer."

i think i've spoken on here about my distaste for bangel but sometimes it does manage to enthrall me (like dracula) and this is definitely one of those cases i am just a sucker for moon/sun parallels dude - while normally angel would be the moon and buffy would be the sun imo cause... yk, creature of the night, blonde fiery kickass lady; they're switched in this song (which i also feel oddly fits them?) but honestly if you haven't listened to this song before i suggest listening to it rn because you'll see what i mean when it reminds me of bangel ITS SO BANGEL-Y. just look at these lyrics: Well, he was just hangin around / Then he fell in love / And he didn't know how / But he couldn't get out you can't tell me that that doesn't remind you of angel and his curse!!!! you cannot i won't believe you

Faith/Buffy

Twilight by Bôa Your feelings and mine are all holy but / You know and I know it's untrue because / When day dawns, you're there lying with me / And the dawn can fly away

i made a fuffy post with lyrics from this song a few days(?) ago so i think this was kind of to be expected but OH WELL i THINK the song is literally about a girl who's having an affair??? with a man who's in a relationship with a woman. he loves his spouse/girlfriend, but he also loves the singer (and the singer loves him back) thats what i gathered, it's a kind of confusing song BUT i read it as faith singing about buffy, who takes the place of the 'man' in the song, dealing with her feelings for buffy and being jealous of angel because buffy seems to love him more than she may love her. it's gay and angry just like faith! very good song All I Wanted by Paramore Think of me, when you're out, when you're out there / I'll beg you nice from my knees / And when the world treats you way too fairly / Well, it's a shame, I'm a dream

i just cannot help but imagine faith screaming this song at the top of her lungs i think the song's about a break up but to me it's about faith missing out on her chance to become (girl)friends with buffy because she sorta. yk...... was evil and killed people she just wanted someone who understood her :( buffy was her best shot at that considering they had the whole slayer thing in common, but everything got messed up AND ITS SAD

Spike/Buffy (buckle your seatbelts people. these bitches are gonna have a lot)

First Love / Late Spring by Mitski One word from you and I would / Jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby / Tell me don't so I can crawl back in

is mitski an obvious and stereotypical choice for spuffy? yes. am i writing about it anyway? also yes because AAGHGHHRHGHHJJJJAH this song is actually in my buffy playlist because a lot of it just feels like HER and not spuffy, but i'm obligated to put it here because it is spuffy...esque. the chorus makes me think of buffy trying desperately to cut things off with spike in s6 but she keeps being pulled back. for example: Please hurry, leave me / I can't breathe / Please don't say you love me these lyrics remind me very much of that one scene (i cannot remember what episode it was from for the life of me) where spike starts to say i love you, but buffy cuts him off because she just can't bear to hear it very spuffy-y. thats all

Introduction to the Snow by Miracle Musical A part of thee in the key of what we know to be every part without me / Knows only two can make it light / You'll live forever tonight

That Scene in chosen. do i have to explain myself any further than that

No Children by The Mountain Goats And I hope when you think of me years down the line / You can't find one good thing to say / And I hope if I found the strength to walk out / You'd stay the hell out of my way

i contemplated putting this in the spangel category for a moment but then i thought nah. this is spuffy at its core, at its rawest moments if you haven't listened to this song before once again i suggest you listen to it because i don't think it needs much explaining once you hear all the lyrics hand in unloveable hand you guyyyys :(

The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer Bash in my brain, and make me scream with pain / Then kick me once again / And say we'll never part / I know too well, I'm underneath your spell / So if you smell something burning, it's my heart

the joke is that buffy beats spike up and he probably gets off on it. buffy knows this.

Spike/Angel(us)

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge I want to hold you close / Skin pressed against me tight / Lie still, close your eyes girl / So lovely, it feels so right

originally i thought of this as an early spuffy song (i still kind of do, esp with the lyrics It's only just a crush, it'll go away - very spike-y) but then i thought about it in a spangelus sort of way and i was like. yeah. the song is about wild evil sexy .... sex. angelus and spike definitely had Relations we all know this and i think their relationship would be wild and evil and probably dangerous!!!! that's it that's the whole segment

Cordelia/Willow

Giving Into the Love by AURORA Someone out there is trying / To find somebody whole who is not dying / But everybody cries and nobody comforts / The television lies and now my mind hurts

i love this song and this ship so fucking much for me the way the song could be interpreted as wildelia is that they're both letting their walls come down together and giving into the love, not caring about anything anymore or how they could be perceived by the world cordelia, as we know, before she gets with xander, is very conscious about her social status and always wants to be wanted and loved, even if she doesn't have any real friends. she was very lonely willow was also very lonely for other reasons - she was unpopular and practically just another face in the crowd - her only friend was her childhood friend, xander and i think they could bond over that loneliness! i think together they could be free!! like the lyrics say: I've never had the world, so why change for it? it could also be interpreted as them understanding the fact that they're both queer and have feelings for each other. at first its scary and confusing, but eventually they get together and are the happiest they've ever been :]

She by Dodie And I'll be okay / Admiring from afar / Cause even when she's next to me / We could not be more far apart

to me this song would be sung by a crush-ridden willow who is so annoyed at herself for falling for her biggest bully, cordelia she tries to convince herself it's nothing but she can't help listing off all the things that make her beautiful in her head. eventually they'd become quiet allies and even friends, and her crush just grows, even though she knows it will never be requited :( (OR WILL IT?!?!?!?! DUN DUN DUN)

The Way I Feel Inside by The Zombies In your mind / Could you ever be, really close to me? / I can tell the way you smile / If I feel that I / Could be certain, then / I would say the things I want to say tonight

basically the same premise as the previous song! i think it could be taken as either cordy or willow singing though OR BOTH OF THEM! they're gay and they don't think either of them like the other that's the idea i'm going with

Joyfulthought by Mom I know it's weird / To say you changed me / But things have been really hard for me lately / I don't need anything, just when you talk to me / I can't believe anyone would ever be that nice to me

i LOVE this song, it makes me think of cordelia singing about/to willow it starts out as this sort of reluctant like... 'you make me feel so weird but it's a good weird' feeling for her whenever she's around willow, and then she starts to realize that she loves her, and she really enjoys spending time with her and that she's made her a better person even though she didn't think she needed it. and then they kiss and muah muah muah and they love each other happy endings for all

Buffy/Tara

Chiquitita by ABBA Chiquitita, you and I cry / But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you / Let me hear you sing once more, like you did before / Sing a new song, chiquitita

this song makes me think of tuffy because of the pure happiness it brings me just how tuffy does :D /hj for reals though, it's about the singer comforting their 'chiquitita' - which is spanish for 'little one' - but it reminds me of when tara comforts buffy semi-regularly in.... i THINK season six. its a sweet and kind song just like tara! it makes me imagine them dancing in a field and laughing and now i'm tearing up cause i just love them so much!!! arrhghhghhh!!!!

Spike/Xander

If We Were Gay by Ninja Sex Party You know, a lot of people come up to us and say / "Hey Danny Sexbang Xander and Ninja Brian Spike / You guys wear a lot of spandex and live together / Are you gay?" / Pfft, I have to laugh

could you imagine that? if they were gay??? i love spander very much and i think that xander would totally sing this to show his 'support' to a very embarrassed but grateful willow and also make fun of his boyfriend spike that's literally all the reasoning i have

Buffy/Willow

Ugly by Nicole Dollanganger You said they make fun of your body / Humiliation in your eyes when you told me / Well I'm gonna find them, don't you worry / I'll make sure they're really fucking sorry

this would be really early billow, like s1. buffy is really protective of her best friend who she totally isn't in love with and knows how much shit people give willow at school and she's this close to bashing all their skulls in another tidbit of lyrics from the song that really sounds like buffy: Anything that is beautiful / People want to break / And you are beautiful, I'm afraid

We're Going To Be Friends by The White Stripes Walk with me, Suzy Lee / Through the park and by the tree / We will rest upon the ground / And look at all the bugs we found / Safely walk to school without a sound

this could also be a willow/xander song but i do not like willow/xander i think they're much better as friends so BILLOW IT IS! this song just makes me feel all cozy like buffy and willows friendship :] i just think they're neat! it's a very cute song for very cute ladies

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that's all i've got for now but i may post more songs later if this post does well and you guys enjoy it!!! happy valentines day :D

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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I was trying to think of a way to explain Enneagram stackings and how they work, and since I’m rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer at the moment, it seems natural to use those characters as examples since they are pretty good ones, in terms of focusing on the ‘neurosis’ of each dominant stacking. (It also flies in the face of sx-romances lack heat, since Buffy and Angel are both sx-blind and their romance is steaming hot.)

Basically...

Buffy, Angel, and Xander are sp/so. All of them focus on independence as their main focal point -- this is in fact why Buffy’s relationship with Riley does not work. Her sp-dom independent streak needs to be the one doing things, and she does not include him in them. Over and over, for Buffy we see the “me-first” mentality of the sp-dom. I need to be my own person. Independent. I am going to do this. Alone. That’s a neurotic need and over-focus for a sp-dom -- the need to be independent, to take care of myself, to do things on my own. Angel is the same way -- a lifelong loner. And yet... they also have social. Both of them slowly acquire a group of friends to hang out with and who help them do things -- and yet, each still fiercely needs to do their own thing. Their ‘group’ is just a handful of people -- Buffy gathers friends around her, and Angel once in LA starts collecting people. Xander is the same way -- it’s all about my survival (and my stomach), and that of my friends.

Giles is so/sp. He feels most at home with himself, and most fulfilled, when he is part of a group in a meaningful way -- when he thinks the Scooby gang no longer needs him, he loses his sense of purpose and wants to slip away; when the Watchers kick him out of the Council, he feels at a loss. He needs and wants to be included and to contribute. Same with Cordelia, another so/so. She feels the most fulfilled when she’s part of something, even if it’s a small group of friends or working for Angel. Both of them self-care, but it’s less important than building and maintaining their connections and relationships. Tara is also a social-dom, though I haven’t decided between so/sp or so/sx yet. Even though being with Willow is good, she still is anxious about fitting into the Scooby gang, aware of how she is different from them, and wants them to need and want her around. She feels happiest once she has integrated and become a valued member of their group as a witch.

Willow is so/sx. For her, it’s all about group dynamics and her friends -- she is always and forever trying to keep them together and unite them, she feels upset when they all go their separate lives during college and drift apart (because she is losing her connection to them) and happiest when they are all together; but she also feels fulfilled once she finds Tara and has that sx-intense bond with another person. She has the so/sx sparkly, light-hearted, teenager vibe to her, even as an adult, where she likes to keep things light and fun even when they are serious and intense.

Riley is sx/so. For him, it’s all about Buffy, his special person -- but also all about being a marine, being part of something. He breaks up with Buffy because, in his words, she doesn’t CRAVE him. She can live without him. She doesn’t need him. She won’t let him come along on patrol, she looks at him as someone to protect, rather than desperately craving him, body, soul, and mind all the time -- which is what drives him to seek stimulation elsewhere. He feels that sx blindness in her and it doesn’t satisfy his dominant needs.

Spike is sx/sp. He is all about the intense sx-bond; his entire life revolves around Drusilla for the hundred plus years they are together, and once she dumps him for a chaos demon because she now finds him repugnant (she’s another sx-dom), Spike is emotionally wrecked and torn apart. He is fiery, forceful, and provocative, and once he sx-latches onto Buffy, his entire existance revolves around her -- but he also has a secondary sp, in that he doesn’t give a damn about the Scooby gang and has no interest in being friends with any of them. He cares about his own survival and pleasure, filling his own needs -- getting enough money to live on. His entrance to the Scooby gang is all about Buffy -- she’s part of it, and the only way to get her is to put up with her friends, so he does it. But it’s all about her, all about sx.

Faith and Anya are sp/sx. Anya is obvious -- she is all about her own mortality (I don’t want to get old, I’m dying, Xander, I may only have 50 years left!), and on earning money (she comes alive when Giles lets her run the Magic Shop, and is neurotically obsessed with their financial intake), and treats Xander at first like a sex toy -- secondary sx using sex as a ‘playful’ thing, until it deepens into a true intimate relationship. She is highly casual in her sexual references and blunt about them, and also has no sense of social context (appropriateness) or interest in bonding with anyone else; though she is casual friends with the Scooby Gang, as she tells them bluntly several times, “I don’t care about you, I just care about Xander.” Faith is much the same way -- all about her own survival, about her intense sexual displays and connections, but it’s all causal -- at first, she sees sex as a meaningless way to gain a temporary high. Faith isn’t looking for and doesn’t want anything meaningful in terms of sx for a long time -- she is freaked out when in Buffy’s body, she sleeps with Riley and he actually, genuinely wants to form an sx-dom connection with her. It makes her feel things she didn’t want to feel, so she runs away from it. Sx as a play zone.

So to recap, your dominant instinct is what you are neurotic about and over-focus on, your secondary instinct is your play zone (you use it casually and don’t worry much about it), and your blind spot is what you pay the least amount of attention to, in terms of personal development.

#subtype #ennagram

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theheartsmistakes · 3 years

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Any Other Name- Ch. 6

.Chapter 6.

How was it possible she was more beautiful than he remembered? He'd written sonnets-- no epics-- about her after her visit during the summer when they were thirteen, but none of them came close to who she'd become in the last five years. As he watched her walk away, the impulse to say something to her, anything to have her turn around again so he could look into those impossibly dark eyes and see her smile one more time was consuming, but to do so might give her the wrong impression, or he might never let her walk away, and he needed to let her walk away.

James tore his eyes from her and stepped from the lamp to cross the empty intersection. He headed back in the direction they'd come from while rooting around in his pocket for the package Hypaxia had given to him and be sure he didn't lose in the scuffle.

His fingers met the plastic of the bag and the soft material inside.

What would Cordelia think if she knew what he resorted to now that he lived on the streets? Would she accept him and understand like he imagined she would? Or would she turn from him like Grace, knowing that he would be nothing but a blight in her life?

No, in the brief time he'd spent with her, he could say with absolute certainty that Cordelia was nothing like Grace. The thought of never seeing Grace again after she ended things in a quiet alcove in Alicante after his family had officially been exiled seemed to be the only benefit of the entire night. The thought of never seeing Cordelia again made him turn and run after her as if his muscles had a mind of their own.

Three steps down the road, and he stopped himself again with a guttural groan and threw his head back to look at the sky where he imaged the Angel himself was laughing at his expense.

"You bloody bastard," sighed James and wracked his hands through his disheveled hair. "Would it be too much out of your day to come down here and set some things right? Or is your golden throne too comfortable to deal with such trivial things?"

"Talking to yourself, Herondale?" said a voice from behind him. A voice that made his blood run cold and his teeth grind together.

He turned around and straightened his jacket in an attempt to appear demure and unperturbed. "Pounceby, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

Augustus Pounceby stepped out of the shadows, his blond hair perfectly coiffed and his fighting leathers pristine. Not a scratch or spot on them down to the lasses of his boots. Two more came out of the shadows behind him: Benjamin Killagree and his brother Yoni. Both of whom followed Augustus and Alastair around the Academy like flies on a sweaty boar.

"We're on patrol tonight," said Augustus while placing a hand on his seraph blade. "Keeping the streets safe from the likes of you."

James cocked his head. "The likes of me?"

"Yeah, you know, demon spawn, downworlders," said Augustus, his eyes drifting around lazily. "Someone has to do the dirty work and clean up these streets."

James repeated his mantra that a trip to a prison cell in Alicante was not worth the ten seconds it would take to dismantle a sniveling rodent like Augustus Pounceby. "The Clave is so fortunate to have you. However, I feel I must inform you, you're on the wrong side of the street. You're terrain stops about thirty feet North. Your Clave has made it abundantly clear that we're not to cross each other territories, remember?"

Augustus's nostril flared. "Do not educate me on the boundaries of where we are allowed to patrol, filth. I am Nephilim, son of the Council, and I can go wherever I damn well please."

James dropped his head to hide a laugh.

"Is something funny?"

"Quite a title you have there. It's just if I were you, and thank the Angel I'm not, I'd leave it out of general conversation. You don't want to come off pompous or like you're trying to over compensate for something."

Augustus took a step towards James. "I've forgotten the disrespect that can come out of you."

"Really?" James fined disappointment. "I do try to remind everyone every moment of the day." He shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling content with the affirmation the conversation provided him that Augustus deserved none of his attention or time. "Well lads, I must be on my way. As always, thank you for your service, hope you find all of the ghastly beasties." He turned on his heels and started walking down the road again.

"Where are you off to so quickly, Herondale?" asked Augustus, his voice trailing closely behind James. "And at this time of night?"

"My business is my business, Pounceby," said James. "I am under no obligation to share any of it with you."

"It becomes my business when I suspect it might be something shady."

"And what constitutes as 'shady' to someone like you?"

"Anything that you might be doing at this time of night." His footsteps quickened as he tried to keep you with James. "Where is your little sister, the other demon spawn? A damn shame she shares your blood. She was a lovely thing if she could only learn to keep her mouth shut. I do find a woman who is quiet to be much more agreeable."

Benji and Yoni chuckled.

James bristled but didn't bite the bait.

"It's no matter though, now that Cordelia is in town." James's pace did slow then. "Has anyone told you that she arrived this afternoon. We had a lovely dinner together. She showed me around the Institute and even invited me into her bedroom. Of course, I resisted out of respect of her family, but it's clear I could have my way with her when and if I wanted."

The world around James turned a sinister dark. Then, without thinking, he spun on his heels and grabbed Augustus by the collar of his jacket and had him pinned against the brick wall of a corner bank before Augustus could even touch his weapon.

"If I hear even a whisper that you've made Cordelia feel uncomfortable or even merely unwelcome, I will rip that incessant tongue from your throat and feed it to the fishes." James pulled back and slammed Augustus against the wall again. "Do you understand?"

Augustus breathed deeply. "This is assault."

"This isn't assault," said James. "I can think of one hundred different ways that I could assault you, each one more creative than the last, but this is not one of them." He released Augustus's collar and stepped back to adjust the boy's jacket. "Now run along Pounceby, the shadows are no place to play for a mouse like you."

James looked over at Benji and Yoni. Neither made any attempt to engage him. It seemed his reputation expanded farther than he realized.

James reached into his jacket pockets and fished out a cigarette and a stray match. With a quick strike of the match on the wall beside Augustus's reddened ear, he lit the end of his cigarette and released a full breath of smoke into the boy's face.

"Have a lovely night gentlemen." He shook out the match and flicked it at Augustus's feet before walking down the street again. "Give my warmest regards to the Clave."

"I better never find you on my side of the divide, Herondale," shivered Augustus. "All I need is one excuse to shove a knife into you." His voice octave increased the farther James walked away from him. "I wonder if you'll explode into dust like the other demons."

"You'll never find out, Pounceby."

James blew a trail of smoke into the air and turned down McArthur Street, where he knew Augustus would not dare to follow him.

Though the darkness lay thick over in the cobblestone streets of SoHo, James found the crowd he'd been looking for squatting underneath the ancient decaying bridge that was once a historical landmark. Now, the amount of graffiti and destruction done to it made the parks department declare it "beyond repair" after they'd already tried to repair it seven different times. Every time resulted in some vagrant vandalizing the work they'd done.

James wasn't an unfamiliar face to the business underneath the bridge, but one never knows what one will get when conducting business with the crowd that forms there.

James pulled his hood over his head again. On the off chance, he ran into someone he might know, it was best to remain hidden.

The sound of the music grew as he approached, a thick beat that echoed against the acoustics created underneath the bridge. The smell of sitting water, cigarette ash, spilled ale, and singed hair clung to his nostril.

No one paid him any mind. It was late enough in the night that most of the crowd had already taken a heavy dose of whatever street drug they found and were far, far away from any form of reality.

James walked deeper into the tunnel, following the yellow lamps that still worked enough to illuminate the way. He walked until he reached the other side of the bridge, and standing beside the waterway was Malcolm Fade.

Before James said a word, Malcolm's deep voice echoed, "You're late."

James came to a stop a few feet away from Malcolm. "I got caught up."

"So, I heard." Malcolm looked over his shoulder at James. "You have people out looking for you."

"It's nothing I'm not used to."

Malcolm snickered. "I'm sure that's true." He turned on his loafers to face James. His thick brown coat riddled with different color patches from being mended so many times nearly dragged across the ground as he walked. His skin took on a grayish tint from the smoke and dust.

"Did you bring it?"

James fished the packet out of his pocket. "I want fifty percent."

Malcolm smirked. "We've already talked about this, Nephilim. You'll get thirty and not a penny more."

James took a leisurely step back. "Thirty isn't going to cut it anymore. I need fifty or I can take my business elsewhere."

"And whose going to buy from a Shadowhunter?"

"Ex-Shadowhunter," said James.

"Whatever," said Malcolm. "You still bear the Marks and there's too much bad blood. They won't trust you as far as they can toss you. I'm your only way of selling and we both know it."

In the beginning, when Hypaxia first approached James about selling her product on the streets— something about her other grunts either taking off with her products, using it or being jumped for it— James believed Malcolm when the warlock told him no one would buy from him.

Now that he'd made friends and cohorts in the shadowed parts of London, he knew he could be making more. It might be true that James wouldn't be able to make as much as he would if Malcolm sold it with him, but he might break even at this point. For Hypatia's products, the vagrants and outcasts on the streets were more than willing to buy the silver powder even if it was from the hands of an enemy or ex-enemy.

But thirty percent for all of the work he put into acquiring the powder didn't seem like enough anymore. He wanted— he needed— more, and if Malcolm wasn't willing to work with him for it, then he'd find someone who could.

"It's fifty percent or I walk," said James, closing his hand around the package.

Malcolm's mouth twitched. "Forty percent."

His father would often tell him, "if you demand a mile from someone, do not except an inch."

"It's fifty or I walk." He repeated.

Malcolm's lips twitched over his teeth. He contemplated for a moment, or perhaps he was just waiting it out to see if James was bluffing. It didn't matter much, James had all the time in the world to wait, and he wasn't leaving until his pockets were fuller than they were the times before. He had far less to lose now than the first time he came to Malcolm and everything to gain.

James saw the moment Malcolm caved. He gave a curt nod and dug around in his pocket. "You lousy Nephilim, righteous and unwilling to compromise." He procured a stack of bills from his pocket and handed three wads over to James.

James quickly looked through it to make sure the bills were real and then tucked them into the waistband of his pants. "Haven't you heard? I'm one no longer Nephilim."

"Old habits die hard then?" Or something like that.

James shrugged and made his leave.

Once out from under the bridge, he caught one of the night buses driving through town by grabbing hold of the safety bars at the back of the vehicle and swung himself up onto the platform. With the wind gently caressing his face, he leaned over the railing and watched as the city filled with its proud historical building, leaking chimney tops, and watchful gargoyles rushed around him.

The smell of warm vanilla ice cream cones drifted by as they went past one of the late-night coffers still open on the corner for any wanderers reminded James of a summer-long ago when he showed Cordelia around London. She insisted they stop for ice cream. She ordered the chocolate raspberry, and even though he was never a fan of chocolate himself, he ordered the same. The ice cream dripped down their hands as they wandered around admiring the details of the city: like the color of the marble on one of the fountains or the graffiti art on a wall, or just a patch of shade under a tree in the park. It occurred to him that he was the one showing Cordelia around London and yet being with her, he found things about his city that he'd never noticed before and probably wouldn't if she weren't with him.

He thought of her alone in the Institute now. Probably in Lucie's room, curled up in bed with a book, her vibrant red hair spread across the pillow. His heartbeat heavier at the thought of lying next to her, of breathing in that decadent smell of roses, honey, and something distinctly her. When they were trapped in the freezer together, the desire to bury his whole face in her neck and press her against himself until he smelt the same was something primal and dangerous. She was off-limits to him, and to give in to his desires would be irresponsible and unfair to her, but God to just touch her one more time…

Fucking Pounceby got to see her, be around her, whenever he wanted to. The thought of him touching her arm or being in the same room as her made him want to yell at the top of his lungs.

Fucking Pounceby.

The bus took a sharp turn, nearly sending James off balance and miss his exit. He went down the stairs, and while the bus was still slow, he stepped off and crossed the street towards the deli store that smelt of Italian seasoning and smoked meats. He dug his keys out of his back pocket and opened the door to a stairwell. Quietly, he ascended the three stories until he reached the door that glowed on all four sides with freshly placed runes.

James took a steady breath and used his key again to open the door.

The flat's doorway was dark, along with the kitchen and hallway leading to the bedroom except for a lone light in the living room where a figure sat alone in a chair that squeaked when it rocked.

"I thought Da said he fixed that chair," said James, setting his keys in the bowl on the counter.

"I think he made it worse," said his mother, Tessa, as she turned to face him.

James smiled and walked over to the matching chair beside her, and took a seat.

"I know you're eighteen, and legally allowed to do what you like, but what kind of mother would I be if I didn't ask you what you were doing out until almost three in the morning." Her long brown hair lay braided over one shoulder, and the dark crescent moons underneath her eyes seemed more prominent tonight, sending a jolt of guilt through James for being one of the reasons they were there.

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with," said James. "Where is Da?"

He's usually the one sitting up at night waiting for either James or Lucie to break curfew.

"I'm your mother," said Tessa, reaching out her hand palm up towards James. He placed his own in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I will always be concerned with whatever you are doing, and your father is out looking for work again. Now, don't change the subject."

James brought his mother's hand up and pressed a kiss to the top of her hand. "I had some business to take care of."

Tessa grimaced. "What kind of business? The kind I would approve of or the kind that would give me nightmares?"

James leaned forward to procure the stack of bills from the waist of his pants. He laid the pile in his mother's lap. "The kind that allows us to make rent and a small dent in back rent."

Tessa's mouth dropped open in a small O. It took her several moments before words began rushing out. "James, where did you get this? Did you kill someone? Please tell me you didn't kill anyone for this."

"I didn't kill anyone for this."

"Then how?" Tessa picked up one of the stacks and flipped through it. "By the Angel, this is a lot of money."

"I've been picking up some work from a friend," said James. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth.

"Honest work?" said Tessa.

"I came by it honestly."

Tessa squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled towards her lap. "James this—I would rather live in providence and squaller than to see you in some kind of trouble."

"I'm not in any kind of trouble, Ma," said James. But they would be if they didn't make their rent this month.

In just the last few months, the once vibrant, exuberant, radiant woman that had been his mother had begun to dwindle into something of a shell of that woman. She'd become thin, her cheeks hollow, her eyes slightly sunken, the bones of her jutted out where she used to be, curved and soft. She hardly slept and spent all of her time trying to find a way to schedule another appeal with the Clave, but no one would listen. Not friends. Not family. No one.

The real succubus that clung to his mother, though, was guilt. She never spoke of it, but James knew. She carried around the weight of being responsible for their exile. She, after all, came from the greater demon and passed the lineage on to James and Lucie. She knew of the Clave's prejudice against her bloodline and went through with her marriage to Will anyway.

James never resented her for it, not for a single moment. On the contrary, he admired them for their courage and strength to ignore the threats and opinions of others and marry each other anyway. He could only hope to one day find love as powerful.

"You should sleep," he said and gathered the money from her lap. "I'll buy us a big breakfast in the morning. What do you feel like?"

Tessa leaned her head back, and James caught the briefest glimpse of tears in her eyes before she blinked them away. "How about crepes? With seasonal berries."

"Crepes, it is." He stood up and leaned down to kiss his mother on the head. "Don't worry. It's going to be alright, Ma."

"I'm supposed to be the one who says that to you."

"Well, for tonight, let me be the one to say it."

The wind outside the open window billowed, whispering, a sly, gossiping sound through the willows. Tessa held his gaze; he saw the glow of the witch light reflected there, twin scythes of light. She was right to be cautious. Of the money. Of him. Careful of the means, he was willing to go to survive.

At last, she nodded, the slightest dip of her chin. He helped her stand from the chair, and they walked down the hallway in silence. The wind murmured on outside.

A/N: Liking, reblogging, and commenting are my primary sources of motivation.

Next update: Fri, July 23

#the shadowhunter chronicles #chain of gold fanfic #chain of thorns #chain of iron #cassandra clare #james x cordelia #jordelia fanfiction #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #the last hours

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let-them-read-fics · 4 years

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Somewhere Only We Know (As We Are Now)

Pairing: Cordelia Goode x Reader

Word Count: ~ 1,047

Summary: After a fight with Cordelia, you're left to pick up the pieces. While doing some reflecting, Misty (and the girls) help you decide what comes next.

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst (not entirely soul crushing tho), Potentially Hopeful Ending, Like 1 Curse Word

A/N: Hey guys, I hope you enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated. Happy reading!

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It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You’d think after everything you’ve been through together -- the ups and downs, constant tension and ever-changing circumstances, literal hell and back -- things would’ve found a way to work out. But right now, as you mindlessly twist the band around your finger, it all seems pretty hopeless. Memories of the night she gave you that ring come flooding into your mind:

“Darling, you look absolutely stunning.” At the sound of Cordelia’s voice, you turn your head towards her and smile. “Right back at you, sweetheart.” You quip, lowering the heat of the burner and wrapping an arm around her. She settles against your side, pulling you ever closer into her magical embrace. “Here, taste it.” You quickly gather some of the sauce onto the spoon and hold it to her lips, once it’s cooled down. Judging by the look that she gives you and the ethereal sound that she lets out after she tries it, it’s safe to say that she approves. “It’s delicious.” You blush lightly, still just as excited by her praise as ever. “It’s new, some type of Italian sauce for the pasta. Misty let me use some basil from her garden.” A wide grin spreads across your face and you raise your eyebrows at that last fact -- anytime Misty gives you fresh ingredients for a new dish, it usually turns out amazing. “She did, did she?” Delia asks, smirking lightly. You hum in response, and she kisses your temple. “Let’s eat.” You declare, before plating up the food.

Full and content, you look at Cordelia across the table. “Thank you for tonight, love.” You bow your head, smiling as you return her gaze. “My pleasure. I know you’ve had a lot going on recently with the girls, and I wanted to treat you to a nice meal.” At that, she sits unwavering for a moment, before a look of affirmation crosses her face. “And that is precisely the reason that I’m giving you this,” she states, pulling a small box from her pocket. “I’ve been realizing just how in love with you I am, Y/N. You’ve been by my side through it all, and I promise to do the same for you. I wanted to give you something to remind you of that, and I figured this would suffice.” She says, voice shaky with emotion, as she slips the ring onto your finger. “I don’t know what to say, Delia. Thank you... I love you so much.” You utter, tears in your eyes. She moves closer to you, enveloping you in her arms and keeping you close.

The distant sound of a dog barking brings you back down to Earth. The bed had grown cold a long time ago, and the smell of her perfume was beginning to fade. Attempting to take your mind off of it, you slink down to the kitchen for some warm tea. Needless to say, that was a horrible idea. As you wait for it to steep, your eyes wander to the dining table; the same table that you had shared many meals, “I love you’s”, tearful reconciliations, and other defining moments in your relationship. As much as you try to fool yourself, the truth is blatantly obvious; everything reminds you of her. After all, when someone becomes your world, you tend to find them in everything. Whether it be the golden rays of sunlight shining on you to remind you of her angelic hair, or even the chill that goes up your spine at the memory of her hands all over you, you can’t escape your thoughts. It’s sweet torture, working to tear you down and build you back up all at once. As you taste the tea, her flavor comes to mind. Countless hours spent kissing and making love had made you accustomed and fine tuned to her. Knowing her body like the back of your hand was proving to be a blessing and a curse.

As you sit alone with your thoughts, a sudden wave of anger washes through you. Without restraint, your cup flies across the room and shatters against the wall. Warm, salty tears spill from your eyes and flow relentlessly down your cheeks; you’re too drained to wipe them away. “Y/N? Are you alright?” It’s Misty. Sweet, loving, Misty. She takes a seat beside you, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “No, I’m not, Mist. I miss her so much, I just don’t see how I so royally fucked this up.” It was no secret to the Coven that the two of you were taking some time apart, to put things nicely. After all, it wasn’t hard for the girls to see when something was wrong with the power couple of the house. “I know it’s hard, but I can’t stand to see you upset like this. I’ve dealt with more than enough suffering in my life,” she pauses for a moment, “so take my advice: go after her. Sitting here, wallowing in your sadness, doesn’t give you any chance at making the situation better.”

You let out a shaky breath, looking into her eyes. “I want to, but what if she doesn’t want me anymore?” At this, Misty lets out a small chuckle, shaking her head in disbelief. “Y/N, that woman will always want you. She’s hurt, of course, but she needs you now more than ever. This isn’t where your story ends… I just know it. Now go.” She says with conviction. The corners of your lips lift slightly, forming a soft smile. “Thank you, Misty. I love you.” You wrap her in a much needed hug, happy to have such an amazing person in your life. “I love ya, too. Now go get your girl.” She jests. Quickly grabbing your keys and wallet, you make a beeline for the door. Misty was right, as always: staying idle was doing you no good. “Good luck!” You take another look to find the source of the voice, and spot Zoe smiling at you from around the corner of the hall, giving you a thumbs up. The other girls are piled around her, and they quickly scurry off to try and hide the fact that they were eavesdropping. You laugh softly. “Thanks, girls.”

#AHS #cordelia x reader #cordelia goode x reader #misty day #misty day x reader #american horror story coven #sarah paulson #cordelia goode imagine #angst #ahs x reader #ahs coven #fluff #cordelia goode x fem reader #cordelia x fem reader

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marvelfansince08love · 4 years

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Teen!Cordelia Goode x Fem!Reader - Headcannon

Hey guys! I won’t be able to post much over the next few days so here is the Teen!Cordelia x Reader Head-cannon from my Cordelia prompt fic that was requested (link below for story) I will be making a part 2 once I’ve gotten through my other requests! Thank you for being so patient :)

Excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes, this hasn’t been edited and this is my first head-cannon so please be kind:) lmao.

“My loyalties lie with you, not the title you’ve been given”

Tagging a few: @waitingfortheendtocome @natasha-danvers @saucy-sapphic @imnotasuperhero @muted-stoneheart

Teen!Cordelia Goode x Reader

- Cordelia was definitely the most shy out of the two and Y/N was a lot more confident and was first to approach Delia and introduce herself at aged 16.

- Y/N would hand pick Delia's favourite flowers from Myrtle's secret flower garden and place a single flower on her pillow most nights wanting to gain her attention. (Delia was definitely secretly smitten after that.)

- Y/N much preferred shortening Delia's name to Lia as no one else had come up with it and wanted something that only she had the privilege of saying. All the other girls knew that the nickname ‘Lia’ was off limits to everyone apart from Y/N.

- Although Y/N would entice Delia to sneak off sometimes and ditch certain lessons she would make sure that it didn't affect her work too much and would always make it worth them missing classes.

- Speaking of lessons, the only way Delia could get Y/N to study would be if she offered kisses between each section of the book they were reading... it would definitely lead to more by the time they finished their study session.

- At meal times they would make sure to sit next to each other and even though they thought they were subtle with their affections everyone knew that there was secret hand-holding underneath the table.

-Whenever Y/N would feel insecure about her powers and her future as a protector Delia would always reassure her: "you'll always be my protector, no matter who the next supreme is or how powerful you are".

- Cordelia is the most jealous out of the pair. "You set the chair on fire Lia" "She was getting far too comfortable around you, I don't take well too others trying to take what's mine" (Y/N secretly loves it though and would poke fun at her green eyed love)

- Y/N loved taking Delia on dates to the French Quarter as well as dragging her to street parties and Jazz bars, where she would kiss her without a care in the world. If Delia would get too drunk on one of those nights, you know damn well she was being tucked into bed in her favourite pyjamas while Y/N fell asleep in the bay window not wanting to overstep any boundaries. Delia would wake up in the morning to some fresh orange and Advil with a sleeping Y/N drooling slightly as the sun hits her frame from the window making Delia smile softly.

- Y/N loved taking photos of Delia whenever she wasn't looking, that's when she looked the most beautiful in her eyes.

- Did I mention how much Y/N adored Delia's freckles and would kiss each one every morning when they managed to spend the night in each other's bed. (Due to the high status of both girls families they were allowed their own rooms)

- Speaking of spending the night, Y/N would always make sure that Delia was comfortable and would go at her pace until Delia would groan in frustration at Y/N gentlewoman ways and grab a hold of her demanding to be a little more rough with her ~ "I'm not a delicate flower babe. Do your worse" (Y/N always accepted the challenge)

- On nights that weren't filled with pleasure, the two would talk about their future plans together ~ "She's gonna have you blonde locks and gorgeous smile Lia, I just know it" "Oh and who says it's gonna be a girl"

- Makeout sessions in hidden corners of the house and in storage closets were a daily occurrence and on a rare day, if caught would be sent to the headmistress office where Myrtle would just sigh already knowing there's no keeping them apart.

- Whenever Cordelia had a bad day, Y/N would take her to their favourite greenhouse (the one in the flashback) and slow dance with her to 'I'll be' by Edwin McCain which would make Delia roll her eyes every-time fondly while muttering "cheeseball" (didn't stop her from snuggling into Y/N arms while she guides her around the greenhouse though).

-Myrtle is definitely their biggest supporter and would make sure the girls could spend time together whenever Y/N's grandmother and Fiona were in town as they both would try and keep them apart for their own selfish needs.

- When Y/N was forced to leave the academy at age 19 to start her training she took Delia on that last night into the greenhouse and danced with her for hours, tears streamed down both their faces silently while 'My love is never lost' by Stevie Nicks played softly in the background. Promises were made and sealed with desperate kisses and caresses. Both secretly knowing that the future was uncertain for their love.

Bonus (Delia's wedding day):

- When Y/N arrived at the Academy for Delia's wedding years later she headed straight for Delia’s room on instinct. The room had changed a lot since and male clothes lay on top of the well made bed making Y/N's heart sink a little.

- Y/N definitely forgot how to breath after seeing Delia in her wedding dress. Delia teased her for that ~ "You'll catch flies if you don't close your mouth Y/N"

- Y/N was only there to wish her luck and be the supportive ex but somehow ended up asking her to leave with her, somewhere far away from here, away from their responsibilities. They stood so close, their noses just an inch from brushing against one another.

- A heated kiss was shared in that room that day but Y/N knew from the look in Delia's eyes and the lingering touch of lips that she had lost the silent battle of her love.

- Y/N watched the tears gather in Delia's eyes as she kissed her gently on the forehead and stepped away with a broken smile. "He's a lucky guy Lia, I hope he makes you very happy and gives you the life that I could never give"

- Delia never knew but Y/N stayed for the ceremony that day and watched on with a broken heart as she said "I do".

#cordelia goode x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #sarah paulson x reader #ahs coven #teen!cordelia is golden #american horror story #sarah paulson

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melanielocke · 2 years

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The Stars Collide - Chapter 9

As requested, the next chapter. Sorry in advance for the ending. Enjoy! Also please let me know if my tag list does/doesn't work because I'm honestly not always sure. AO3 | Chapter list

Alastair hadn’t been to the Fair Planet’s beaches in a long time, which he had to admit was odd since this planet had more beaches than people. The beach surrounding the palace was usually too crowded for him when it was beach weather, and he couldn’t just have gone to a more distant, isolated beach back when he was still with Charles. They had traveled together, of course, and their travels had been some of the best periods of his previous marriage. Charles had always been in a rather good mood during his travels, he struggled less with work related stress, the pressure of being crown prince. Alastair wished they could have been like that all the time.

The hovership they used to fly out was not Cordelia’s spaceship. Instead, it was a flying ship that ran on hydrogen and hovered above the ground or the water. It was a common mode of transportation on this planet as so much of the surface was water. Better than boats for sure, Alastair tended to get seasick. Since these hoverships ran on hydrogen they were supposed to be very sustainable.

‘I like how smooth this ship flies,’ Cordelia said once they were flying above the sea. ‘We don’t often use hoverships like these on Turan.’

‘Really?’ Lucie asked.

‘We don’t have anywhere as much ocean,’ Cordelia explained. ‘So for a distance like this, we’d ride cars over land and for larger distances planes are more common.’

‘We use planes too,’ Lucie said. ‘But that seems wasteful for smaller distances when a hovership can take us anywhere without interfering with the water and its life. Wait, have you ever flied something like this before?’

‘It’s not so different from driving a car,’ Cordelia said. ‘And I’ve flied many different air and space ships. But I did some practice runs yesterday.’

Flying over the water was a strange experience. Alastair didn’t get seasick like he did on boats, but he was so close to the water he could almost reach out and touch it. He watched a school of pink dolphins jump through the sea. As far as Alastair knew, when humans had first come to this planet the land had been mostly uninhabited but the seas were filled with life. The creatures resembled ocean life on other planets, for some reason evolution had a tendency toward the same forms everywhere. Except, of course, that on most other planets dolphins weren’t pink. As a child Alastair had been hyper interested in differences in natural life across planets and he still remembered a little. He’d often had periods like that as a child, shifting between different interests he could get lost in.

After flying over the water for a short while, they came upon a group of small islands, some larger with forest in the middle while others were only white sands with a couple of palm trees.

‘Stay away from the large island on the left,’ Lucie said. ‘There’s poisonous snakes there, but they don’t leave their island. The smaller ones are all safe.’

Cordelia landed the hovership on one of the smaller islands. It was mostly sand but with lots of wild palm trees. Coconut farming was common on this planet and most dairy products here were coconut based rather than from animal milk. For Alastair this was a good thing considering he was lactose intolerant. He never had to refuse dessert here.

He changed into his swimsuit after landing, he’d opted for something that gave a little more coverage, a short sleeved swimsuit that covered his chest. He wasn’t sure he was ready for Thomas to see him with his chest bare. He walked onto the warm sand, a sensation he’d never liked much. He didn’t like the way the sand felt against his feet, between his toes, and he couldn’t wait to get into the water and rinse it off.

Alastair couldn’t breathe for a moment when he saw Thomas emerge from the ship after changing himself. Thomas, it seemed, wasn’t as shy about showing his body and wore only a pair of shorts, leaving his chest bare. Alastair had known Thomas had to be muscular, of course, but that hadn’t prepared him for the view of Thomas without a shirt on. He was well defined, with broad shoulder and strong arms. Alastair wondered for a moment how it’d feel to be held by such arms. The pressure of such an embrace, the way strong, muscular arms could make him feel safe and protected. Thomas didn’t want that though, he’d made it very clear he had no intention of touching Alastair.

Cordelia smirked. ‘He’s good looking, isn’t he?’ she said.

‘Yes,’ Alastair admitted. ‘Why do you care?’

‘Aren’t I allowed to be happy that you have a husband who is both very nice and very good looking?’ Cordelia said. ‘You’re lucky to have him.’

Alastair would be, if Thomas showed any interest in him. With the circumstances being as they were, Alastair had no clue how to make this work. He was used to marriage being unpredictable, Charles’ mood could shift as easily as the weather, but with Charles he’d always been able to rely on the fact that Charles found him attractive and wanted to have sex with him. Thomas did not, and that meant he’d have to put effort into making Thomas like him for his personality, something he was exceptionally bad at.

Cordelia had changed into a purple swimsuit, and Alastair noticed Lucie stare at her for a moment before averting her gaze and kneeling down to collect sea shells. Alastair wondered what helped her choose. His own abilities had never been dependent on materials and he had no idea how Lucie’s abilities worked or what she could do with them.

‘Seems like Lucie likes how you look in a swimsuit too,’ Alastair said.

‘Our relationship is purely professional,’ Cordelia said. ‘Also, we met, like yesterday.’

Alastair shrugged. ‘If you say so.’

He joined Thomas and waded into the water. It had been a while since he’d swum, though he had learnt how to when he was younger and he found he enjoyed the way the water felt against his feet, the way the subtle waves caressed him. It was far better than the sand. He walked in deeper until the water was at his waist. Thomas had already jumped in and Alastair considered for a moment before joining him.

‘Do you swim often?’ Alastair asked Thomas.

‘I grew up on this planet,’ Thomas said. ‘Everyone swims. I was on my school’s swim team for a couple of years but quit when I decided to focus more on martial arts. What about you?’

‘I took swimming classes as a child and would usually go swimming in a nearby lake as a child, but not often in the sea. Turan doesn’t have a lot of ocean, but the beaches we do have are very different from here. The sand is orange, sometimes even red. Here it’s white.’

‘There’s some places where the sand is pink,’ Thomas said.

‘I don’t think I’ve seen that.’

‘I’ll show you some day,’ Thomas said. ‘Near Lightwood we did have a pink beach. My cousin Christopher and I went swimming there often when we were children.’

Alastair was curious about Thomas’ childhood, and wondered how much he could get away with asking. Charles had never appreciated too many questions. Nor had he appreciated too few questions, to be honest. Thomas seemed to enjoy telling Alastair about himself though, so perhaps he could get away with a few more questions.

‘What’s your cousin like? I saw him in your memory, but I don’t think we’ve met,’ Alastair said.

‘Kit is a chaotic genius,’ Thomas said. ‘He has a degree in neuroscience and engineering. He’s currently researching what we call magic, I think I told you about that. He believes it’s a neurological difference that causes people to have powers. He’s currently setting up research to determine whether factors during pregnancy influence if someone develops powers.’

‘That’s interesting,’ Alastair said.

Research into powers. It reminded him of something, yet he couldn’t figure out what it was. It sounded familiar, yet he had never been involved with that kind of research. He had focused his studies on social sciences. But then what was his mind trying to tell him?

He had to admit to himself that he was forgetting things, and perhaps it had to do with Charles’ death, but perhaps it had happened before that too. How was he to know if he had lost memories at a later time? All he remembered of that day was being in the hospital, a doctor telling him Charles had died. He did not know what had happened before, how they’d gotten there, and Alastair had not told anyone because he hadn’t trusted anyone to help him figure out what was going on.

‘It is,’ Thomas said. ‘But he’s struggling to find enough participants. People with powers are more common than we think, but they can be hard to approach for research.’

‘I understand why. I wouldn’t want to be experimented on and I imagine others feel the same way,’ Alastair said.

‘He understands too,’ Thomas said. ‘But much of his research wouldn’t include that much experimentation. Part of what he does is just ask people and their mothers to fill in questionnaires to determine which factors might contribute to magic. I’ve filled them in as a non magic control, and while it was a lot of questions, it’s not so bad.’

‘I guess I could do that,’ Alastair said hesitantly. ‘Wait, does my mother also have to fill things in?’

‘Yes, because Christopher is also looking at pregnancy factors. One of his theories is to do with deep space traveling during pregnancy, so your mother would have to fill out a questionnaire about her pregnancy. Cordelia doesn’t have powers, right? If Cordelia were to participate as a control, your mother could fill out the questionnaires for both of you, it might be interesting if there are significant differences.’

Alastair was about to respond that he’d ask her but before he could say anything he was pulled underneath the waves. The ocean had become much deeper very fast and he had no idea what was lurking underneath them. Stupid. Something had wrapped itself around his ankle. He struggled against it, tried to swim up, but it was far stronger than he was. There were no teeth, nor did he feel any sharpness, just a pull. What kind of creature would do this? Alastair’s lungs were burning, he needed air, but he was only getting pulled farther into the deep. It looked like he was going to join Charles after all.

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @styxdrawings @justanormaldemon @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @amchara @all-for-the-fanfiction@imsoftforthomastair @ddepressedbookworm @queenlilith43 @wagner-fell @cant-think-of-anything @laylax13s @tessherongraystairs @boredfangirl16 @artist-in-soul

#Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #Thomastair #Lucie Herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #the stars collide #the last hours #tlh #fanfiction

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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AWAE 3x1 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

So we’re finally here, up to the (unfortunately) final season of AWAE. I will be rewatching and reacting to the first half of the season only, since I’ve already posted my reactions to episodes 5-10 when they were coming out. Just thought I’d say that here.

For this rewatch, I will be adding onto the notes to myself I made when first watching the episode. Also, this is dedicated to Amybeth McNulty for her birthday today.

So, without further ado, I suggest we dive right in.

Can we talk about how Anne’s beautiful green ribbon gets untied and flies into the air while she is riding through the snow and she doesn’t even seem to care? I mean, she looks back and smiles at it, but doesn’t even think of trying to retrieve it… If I were her, I would have turned the horse around. Although it did seem like the ribbon was too high up in the air for her to reach. Also, her hair is beautiful flying loose in the wind… like we’ve never seen it before. [Present-day note: of course we’ll see it like that again, and from Gilbert’s point of view. That scene was magical. Truly magical]

So… Ruby still has it for Gilbert… and she has it going on strong… she’s supposed to be covering the hockey game for the school newspaper, but she’s dropped her notebook in the snow [Present-day note: again, my dislike of ruining material objects speaks here, but - I felt really bad for that notebook. It’s done nothing to deserve being ruined by the snow] because she only has eyes for one of the players… and so does Anne. I really hope the budding love between her and Gil doesn’t shatter poor little peach Ruby’s heart. [Present-day note: I’m so beyond happy she got over him before Anne realised that she was, as they would say on Friends, ‘under’ him.] She’s a dearie and deserves the best.

The hockey field (probably nothing more than a frozen lake, but this is the 19th century, so, you know) has apparently turned into a place of courtship, as Billy is giving his attentions to Josie and Moody to Diana… but her parents won’t allow it. “Too rich to be a minister’s wife?”, Josie teases. But then the attention shifts to Gilbert who stares at something undefined between Anne and Ruby, leaving it ambiguous which girl his affections are directed to. The whole thing is very awkward to watch, and with no Cole around to reassure Anne that Gilbert has a crush on her, and her only, she may as well think he’s finally returning Ruby’s sympathies. That scene is intense.

The natives appear – a man and a little girl, presumably his daughter, the girl that was mentioned in the articles promoting this season. It turns out the man is the one who makes the hockey sticks for the boys, and the difference in nature between Gilbert and Billy is once again emphasised by how they each treat him. Billy is superficially polite, saying “Thank you” when receiving his new stick, but he says it in a sort of patronising way, like the subtext here is “We whites are better than you”. Gilbert, on the other hand, is just as polite and respectful as he would be to any white man – or woman, for that matter. I mean, he lives with a black couple, so he can’t be racist at all. I mean, he’s an absolute cinnamon roll.

Anne is even better with the natives, as in, she doesn’t even notice anything about them that would make them superficially different than her and her peers. She asks if she could write an article about the man, but not about his lifestyle or different standards, but about the sticks he makes. She sees the quality work, not that the man doing it is non-white. And I bet she’ll be learning a lot about their life and culture later on, in a perfectly respectful and inclusive way. This is beautiful.

Billy comes back and is all kinds of disrespectful, so the girl, Ka’kwet, shows her dislike of him very clearly, and her father warns her against “stir[ring] trouble with the white man”… the tension can’t be ignored anymore. It can practically be cut with a knife.

The man offers a great judgement of Billy – “The little man with the big ego” – in his own native language, so only Ka’kwet understands. But he couldn’t be more right.

Billy walks away, muttering “Savages” under his breath. Anne, however, isn’t shaken for a millisecond in her wish to visit and interview them later.

So, Billy won’t even be coming back to school, as he’s stepping into the family business. I’m hoping we won’t see much of him anymore. [Present-day note: Unfortunately, we will. And when I say unfortunately, I mean devastatingly. Before this season, I didn’t think this excuse of a guy could get any worse, but in the latter half he’s proven to be an absolute entitled monster. I loathe him, and I’m not even sorry for allowing myself to feel such negative emotions.]

Jane is “chaperoning” Josie and Billy as they walk back from the game? I mean, yes, she is his sister, but she’s younger than him, I think. But well, I’m not sure how chaperoning works in such a situation.

Anne arrives at the natives’… village? What is it, exactly? Anyway, her new budding friendship with Ka’kwet (which, the poor thing says, just means “starfish”; now she and Anne can bond over wishing they had a different name – although Anne isn’t as resentful of hers anymore, now that she’s signed the family bible as “Anne Cordelia Shirley- Cuthbert) is just so beautiful… this show is pure aesthetic. [Both visually and in terms of content.]

Marilla disapproves of Anne’s having fraternised with the natives… the tension builds up. I guess Anne won’t be stopped from seeing her new friends so easily, though.

At the Pye household, Josie’s mother is pressuring her to “get a hold” of Billy before someone else does. I mean, she’s a Pye – an unpleasant person as per the book, so she deserves him. Let her have him, as long as Gilbert is reserved for Anne and Anne alone. [Yeah, in retrospect, not even Josie deserves this imbecile. But I didn’t know back then just how bad he could be.]

So Anne’s words “seems to me I was destined to be the bride of adventure” from the teaser are part of her evening prayer – a change from the (apparently) usual plea to make her good-looking, which she now, on the brink of age 16, sees as a childish wish and not a real prayer. Anne has grown!

“Many suitors or even just one…” Come on, Anne, are you blind? You have one – The One at that. Take Notice of him… I mean, the Take Notice board will be returning as per a gif set I saw here on Tumblr, so I really hope Shirbert moves on a bit quicker than it has so far.

Bash and Mary have a baby! Since when? I don’t know, but I love it. Is Gilbert the godfather? Seeing as he is Bash’s best friend and honorary brother, he must be… oh dreams…. [Either way, he’s her Uncle Gilby]

Her name is Delphine? That’s beautiful. Also, Gilbert just kissed her forehead before going out to school… the dream has come true.

The unlikely duo of Rachel Lynde and Miss Stacy takes centre stage in the next scene where Miss Stacy says she doesn’t need a man as she has discovered self-sufficiency after her husband’s death. Mrs. Lynde, of course, wants to play matchmaker for her. As I said, this is an unlikely duo and I would very much like to know how this relationship turns out further.

Anne and Diana are dreading the nearing day of their separation as Di goes to finishing school in Paris and Anne goes to college in Queens. I really want to know how this separation will turn out. [Fortunately, I won’t have to find out, and neither will they.]

Another line of tension builds up with the resurrection of the Take Notice board, as the girls discuss the pressure to get married soon and Josie teases Anne about becoming an old maid, as seen in the trailer.

Poor Ruby takes the blow instead of Anne as she, who will apparently be going to Queens with Anne and Gilbert – only in order to remain close to him (poor unfortunate soul), is desperate to receive any advance from him. I really don’t want her to suffer, but here she is now, crying about him not noticing her. I almost want her to not end up going to Queens, as that will most probably be the place where Shirbert’s relationship will finally bloom, and I don’t want her to witness that. [AWAE Ruby would have loved to be Book!Ruby, as she gets much more attention from him there - but she doesn’t care as much. However, seeing as how Book!Ruby ends up, AWAE Ruby should be glad she’s not quite her.]

Anne “bet[s she] can help” Ruby’s Gilbert issue – but if she is the root of the problem and she doesn’t know it, how can she possibly be of any use to poor Ruby?

I’ve never seen Anne ignore someone so hard as she just did Moody – he greeted her and she barely turned her head in his direction, muttering a quick “Hi” before returning to her conversation with the girls… good thing he is not one of her suitors. Although she doesn’t pay much more attention to Gilbert, you know.

I see Moody has grown up a lot since last time he was seen, and he’s now a close second to Gilbert, at least the way I see it. That’s quite a glow up he’s had. But I kinda wanted Diana and Jerry to be a thing – and now I’m low-key shipping her with Moody “your dress is very… blue” Spurgeon. The poor guy has always been awkward around her; it’s obvious he likes her. [See, I told you I only ship couples that have explicit signs of potential to happen. Even though Diana and Moody didn’t happen even for a second, I’ve apparently seen something in her and Jerry stemming from that one single conversation they had. I mean, he did call her ‘the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’, so that must have been what made me ship them - even before I had the slightest idea they were going to be a thing this season. I still can’t get over the fact that they were not endgame. In my mind, at least, they are - somewhere in that future we didn’t get to see.]

And now the super famous “take notice” scene between Anne and Gilbert is happening… oh the tension. [You know, this scene reminds me of Vanessa Hudgens’ Rather Be with You. If you haven’t heard that song, go listen to it and then try to tell me I’m wrong here.]

Anne was apparently talking about Ruby in this scene, and Gilbert was blabbing on about “the right person” and stuff… Shirbert is on!!

Well, that was a turn of events! The second Anne mentions Ruby you can actually see Gilbert’s emotions change. Kudos to Lucas for portraying that only with his eyes. How to those kids do that?

And poor Ruby has been observing him during the conversation, of course… she is so deluded, the unfortunate thing – she thinks his reluctance to post means he’s looking for a much more romantic advance to make… Poor thing. Shirbert will break her heart and might just ruin her friendship with Anne forever… and she dies young in canon. I just hope Moira finds a way to give her the happy ending she deserves… [And, as we know, Moira didn’t disappoint there. I’m so glad things turned out for Ruby the way they did]

Jerry can read long complicated texts now… he’s reading Frankenstein [Little did I know how important this book would be for his story arc this season], for goodness’ sake! I stan one (1) beautiful [inside and out] French farm boy!! And I ship him with Diana even more now. Although if her parents won’t allow her a future minister, how will they allow a farm boy?

Diana has actual royal ancestry… but that ancestry is “keeping [her] from Queens; from [Anne]”. Isn’t this a tragical Bro-mance right there? It is indeed.

Marilla is helping Mary with the baby… makes me wonder if she has been dreaming of one for so long but never got to have it and this is why she’s so attached to this one… this series is beautiful but dramatic… it really tugs on my heartstrings.

Diana stands up for herself and her own wishes in front of her parents… but she doesn’t achieve more than angering them that way… poor little rich girl, indeed.

Also, I just love how the Barrys express their anger. Diana sits at the piano and starts playing angrily, while her mother embroiders angrily and her father reads his newspaper angrily. [I had no idea two out of those three things could be done angrily. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which two.]

The Take Notice board has a note on it saying “Susan has her sight on Moody Spurgeon”. Who is this Susan and why is she eyeing Moody if he’s courting Diana?

Anne is super excited about turning 16… “Once upon a time this was the happiest day of my parents’ life”. I really want her to find out about her ancestry eventually. But I want her and Gilbert to finally get together more. [Of course, both of these will happen in this season. I sort of knew that even back then.]

Let’s sum up: Anne has beautiful hair, but, more importantly, dreams of finding out her family history; Ruby has it bad for Gilbert - but we already knew that; Ka’kwet and her father make their first appearance and create tension in the process; Billy is racist on top of everything - but we all expected that; courting is in full swing; Rachel Lynde plays matchmaker; lots of tension caused by the Take Notice board; eye (and eyebrow) acting; Jerry reads Frankenstein; Marilla is a really good mother, and not only to Anne; who’d have known embroidery and reading could be done angrily; who is Susan; Anne is nearing 16 and things are about to change forever.

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