#coming out to yourself

[yourozness]

Many many moons ago I asked some people about this and I wonder if I could potentially get more answers this way. Also trying not to be gender essentialist here so transphobes this is not for you.

For my fellow bisexuals, when did you figure out you were attracted to the same gender? I have a theory about how gender affects the age you realize it. This also includes realizing it then promptly ignoring it! Nonbinary folks, I'm sorry this isn't more inclusive for you, you are of course welcome to vote, but I'm trying to test a hypothesis I had when I was 17.

I know there are a lot of bisexuals on here so if you could please reblog so I could get more data I would very much appreciate that. If you click see results it's only polite that you reblog this.

#bisexuality #coming out to yourself #realizing you're attracted to the same gender #poll #trans inclusive post!!!! #mine #queer

[rusty25]

Recently I remembered an old female friend saying, "It would be so good if a dude had your brain but, you know, a dude's body". This happened about 7 years ago and the reason why it hit me so hard back then is only crystallizing now.

I guess I knew she was right. She didn't realize but what she described was me being self-identical. I didn't realize it either. It just hurt me on a level I didn't know I had in me. I didn't dare to dream so far ahead, to picture "my brain" in "a dude's body". It seemed like an alternate reality.

Now, as I'm walking the due process of mentally accepting myself as I am, and preparing to take the necessary steps in order to rid my soul of the bind I'm only becoming aware of now, I suddenly understand. She said something that reached an innermost desire. Self-actualization wasn't among my priorities when I was struggling with Belonging still, if you recall Maslow's famous pyramid.

This sense of longing toward something so intangible was buried so deep that when it was touched, I could not parse the pain that came along.

It still hurts, don't get me wrong. It probably will for a long time. But now I know where.

#trans #transmasc #transgender #transgender male #transgender man #coming out to yourself #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #genderqueer #ftm

[perikrone]

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how the combination of queer people finding each other without realizing it, and the deep internalized transphobia we're all taught from birth combine into a horrible soup that causes us to do a lot of harm to each other, both before we're out to ourselves, and usually for a long time after.

I came into my own awareness of feminism at the same time one of my sister's friends was HEAVILY into TERF nonsense, even being close internet friends with some of the UK ur-terfs. I internalized those messages into a subtle self-hatred that kept me in the closet /to myself/ for years longer than necessary.

That friend is now a trans dude. His own self-hatred had significant splash damage, and quite frankly, I'm not sure I ever want to see or talk to him again. (But it does give me a lot of self satisfaction to think how many "friends" those ur-terfs have lost over the years to realizing they're trans).

And most of us aren't exclusively victims in this. An abusive ex of mine was wrestling with their own transness during a time I had resigned myself to always feeling, at absolute best, completely ambivalent about my body. We had a lot of conversations about how we felt about our flesh forms, and both of us were assuming I was cis; they were caused a lot of pain and confusion in their own coming out journey because of errors in those assumptions, and our own internalized transphobia.

And to be clear: this is an effect of a society that raises us all to be transphobic. Unfortunately, the work to undo that training is often individual. And we all bear responsibility to heal the harm we've done, even if it was performed from a place of ignorance imposed violently by the society we live in.

#trans #queer #queer love #transphobia #internalized queerphobia #internalized transphobia #coming out to yourself #the ways we have to grow and heal as queer people are complicated and myriad #what we owe our fellow queers

[cozylittleartblog]

cant tell you how bad it feels to constantly tell other artists to come to tumblr, because its the last good website that isn't fucked up by spoonfeeding algorithms and AI bullshit and isn't based around meaningless likes

just to watch that all fall apart in the last year or so and especially the last two weeks

there's nowhere good to go anymore for artists.

edit - a lot of people are saying the tags are important so actually, you'll look at my tags.

#please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads#in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

#not art #but important #please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads #in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

[punkitt-is-here]

"people shouldn't call themselves x or y because it makes me uncomfortable" well. Get over yourself lol. Skill issue

#whether u are calling yourself a femboy or a fag or whatever like. come on man #you can be uncomfortable nobody can really stop that. but at some point you just need to Get Cool or Get Out #my posts

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[transannabeth]

btw if you borrow dvds or cds from library you can rip them onto your own blanks or onto your hard drive or whatever. librarians don’t care and they won’t know if you do it or not

#not pjo #chitter chatter #library tag #when I was training as a page one librarian was showing us the music section #and was like people come in and take out a bunch of cds and rip them onto their phones and return them the next day #it’s materials moving in and out baby that’s all that matters #get yourself a library card #(not all libraries have a music and dvd/bluray section but it’s worth checking!) #(and get a library card even if you don’t use it) #(but check out your local library to see what they do offer bc there’s lots of programs and other things too) #(not every public library is perfect but you can help influence it to make it the space you want) #100

[beaft]

off of my last post: i feel like corporate horror has such a rich seam of possibilities that are just begging to be mined. the helpless, nightmarish feeling of watching your life get chewed up by the implacable machinery of faceless corporations in which you are nothing but an easily-replaceable cog and knowing the whole time that you chose to be here. that you can, theoretically, leave any time you want. mindless, pointless busywork that you're expected to take pride in even when it has no measurable impact. feeling like you're running on a treadmill - always busy, never achieving anything. upper managers who only communicate with you by email. CEOs who never communicate with you at all, and may not actually exist for all you know. you can leave any time you want. but you can't, can you? not really. you still have to pay the bills.

#maybe i need a new job #i am only 2 episodes into severance but i loveee the concept of 'even if you walk out you'll just come back again' #like the reason you can't leave is not just because there's a locked door in the way. you can't leave because you trapped yourself here #it's very smart! i like it

[radiance1]

Killer Croc's little bro was apparently in Gotham.

How did everyone know? Because he was seen physically dragging said older brother out of the sewers and into the nearest cafe.

And Killer Croc was just. So docile??? He was shy, a bit nervous, amused, and was practically harmless. Which wasn't something anyone would have associated with Killer Croc.

And the fact that said little bro can lift him up easily too? What kind of parents did they have for their son to be able to lift up the Killer Croc so easily?

Meanwhile, Jack just doesn't get why everyone reacts negatively to his big brother, it's not like he was a ghost for goodness sake and yea he's working on not being like he was before his son revealed himself to be part ghost, but still.

His brother was still human, just extra.

Why did Jack come to Gotham? He was kinda maybe forced out the house to go and find his brother because he liked talking about him but never actually went out to find him.

Jack and Croc may be half-brothers, yes, but he's still family.

Jack strongarms Killer Croc into not living in, well, the sewers and at his house he bought when he came to Gotham and they both caught up with each other's lives. Jack told Croc about his family, and by extension the shit views he's had on ghost because it was a major part in their family dynamics, and Croc told him about his own life in Gotham.

Minus the more gruesome, parts.

Killer Croc lives with him for a while and notices that he didn't really seem to care for his life. Which is a major no to Croc, who tries to get him to gain some amount of self-preservation, yes he knows that his little bro is more durable than the average human has any right to be but please for the sake of your big bro's heart, please take care of yourself.

Jack is a bit floored by this, and tries to wave it off as a non-issue. But if Jack can strongarm Croc into living with him, then Croc can definitely strongarm Jack into things as well.

Busting through walls is fine, alright. He gets it, it's very fun. But please don't stick random things into your mouth that can kill you, nor follow strangers down an alleyway and shrug off a stabbing (Killer Croc had some choice words and actions for the person who did such a thing.), and please, please practice stranger danger, little bro. Please.

No, he doesn't give two, three, four, five or ten fucking shits if you have microsurgeons in your blood that gives you a superhuman healing factor, you can still feel pain little bro, and stop skipping meals and sleep to work on your inventions! No, you cannot substitute either for energy drinks!

The batfam keep an eye on the two brothers and find it to just be the both of them strongarming the other into healthy behaviors basically. (With a lot of verbal and physical "I love you"'s, the Batfam could NEVER. slash joke teehee.)

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #Jack Fenton and Killer Croc half-brother's au #Just wait until Croc finds out about his wife and son cause oh boy are they just as bad as he is when it comes to self-preservation. #Jack strongarms him into living a normal life where he doesn't hide away and deserves to be treated as a person #While Croc strongarms Jack into having more self-preservation that he seemingly lacked. #Wouldn't ya know a lack of self-preservation is a common trait in the Fentonnightingle history since the days or yore #Their dad had it and Jack got it unfortunately #Jack would also like to punt his mother for abandoning his brother. #You know your self-preservation is bad when Killer Croc has to strongarm you into taking care of yourself

[chokopoppo]

Ohhhh my god saw a short recommended to me on YouTube of a woman talking about how she wears shapewear to make her daily outfits “fit” better and the comments were full of people saying “yes the point of these garments is to make you feel more confident! ☺️ Where can I get this piece?” And it made me want to scream like

If you need to hear this: shapewear should not be daily wear shapewear should not be daily wear you do not need these garments, they’re expensive and they can cause soreness / pain with longterm use, and if you see a video of a beautiful woman talking about how a specific garment from a specific company makes her feel Better and More Confident, she’s not your gal pal letting you in on a secret, she’s selling you a product. You don’t need a flat stomach, and no one has one anyway.

Advertising is getting sneakier and more insidious because younger people are becoming more resistant to traditional forms of advertising. When you see videos like this, ask yourself: is this person really more confident because they use this product? Or is this supposed to make me feel less confident in myself because I don’t?

#not that any of my followers really need this message but it REALLY grossed me out #confidence in yourself and in your body comes from within. you can’t buy it #but everyone is trying to sell it to you

[truly-sincerely]

Even More Comprehensive BG3 Timeline

(Now with citations!) Years in (paren) are confirmed, all other lines are approximations. For my own sanity this timeline is based on available in-game information and not the Forgotten Realms at large.

1450s

Enver Flymm born

Gale Dekarios born (1457)

Enver Flymm sold to Raphael by his parents, renamed Gortash

Gortash learns about Crown of Karsus while a prisoner of Raphael

Karlach Cliffgate born

1460s

Gortash escapes the House of Hope

Gale Dekarios summons Tara the Tressym (1467)

Wyll Ravengard born (1468)

1470s

Lae’zel of K’liir born (1470)

Gortash in his Heapside Reavers period

Gortash rebrands as a black market arms dealer

Orin the Red born to Helena and Sarevok Anchev

Durge begins their serial killing spree in Baldur’s Gate (1477)

The Emperor dominates Duke Belynne Stelmane (1479)

1480s

Elminster resurrects Mystra (1480)

Gortash trades Karlach to Zariel for infernal machines & iron (1482)

Baldur’s Gate’s Beloved Ranger statue goes missing (1482)

Duke Abdel Adrian murdered during Returning Day speech (1482) - Bhaal resurrected - Ulder Ravengard replaces Adrian as Marshall and as Duke

Orin kills her mother Helena in self-defense

Gortash recruits Franc Peartree to distribute infernal iron weapons

Gortash establishes a cult of Bane in Baldur’s Gate

Gortash approaches Durge about an alliance

Gortash moves against the Zhentarim & Knights of the Shield

Ulder Ravengard named Grand Duke

Wyll Ravengard pact with Mizora, leaves Baldur’s Gate (1485)

Dead Three made aware of the Crown of Karsus (most likely informed by Gortash)* - Gortash becomes Bane’s Chosen - Durge becomes Bhaal’s chosen - Gortash & Durge are instructed to recruit Ketheric

Gortash tells Durge about Crown of Karsus (via correspondence)

Hall/House of Wonders test mission* - Durge gets Bhaalist memorabilia - Gortash gets a bunch of Gondian designs - Durge & Gortash get companionship

1490s

The Chosen visit Ketheric at Moonrise, learn about Illithid colony

Gortash & Durge visit the House of Hope (for intel on Mephistar?)

Gortash & Durge raid Mephistar - They get the Crown of Karsus - They get the book on the accelerated grand design

Gortash captures the Emperor

Gortash & Durge return to Moonrise - Their identities are kept secret from Ketheric’s people - Durge impresses the Moonrise Gnolls, but not Steelclaw - Ketheric yells at Durge in the throne room for an unknown reason

Durge proposes their plan to the Elder Brain who accepts

Raid on the illithid colony (1491) - Durge puts the Crown on the Elder Brain - Orin gets Durge alone during the raid & stabs them in the head - Orin tadpoles Durge, making them the first True Soul - Orin declares herself the Chosen of Bhaal

1492

Durge is found by Kressa Bonedaughter

Minsc captured by Absolutists at a recruitment rally in the Undercity

Gortash gets weird and intense with unethical experiments - Some futzing to get the tadpoles to consistently remain in stasis - This is when the name ‘True Souls’ gets coined - Extremely questionable fun with brains - Getting the Absolute’s voice sorted out - Tadpoling his parents - Poorly conceived experiments on children & their parents

Gortash has Iron Throne converted to hold hostages

Gortash presents prototype Steel Watcher to the city council

Jaheira tracks cult to shadow-cursed land, meets Isobel

Minthara Baenre is 'recruited' by Orin and Ketheric

The Descent, Elturel fall into Avernus happens

Duke Vanthampur revealed as a diabolist, killed by adventurers

Guild Bursar Uktar launders money for Gortash’s Campaign funds

Isobel is resurrected by the Dead Three

The Elder Brain sends the Chosen dreams about the Astral Prism

Gortash researches the Prism, finds out that Vlaakith has it

Gortash tasks Ketheric with sending a team to get the Astral Prism - They send a nautiloid piloted by the Emperor and other illithid - The Elder Brain lets the Emperor slip its leash - Magthew Budj arranges for Durge to be on the nautiloid as well

Gortash deploys Steel Watch in Lower/Outer City

At this point Elturel is no longer in Avernus

First Druid Halsin captured by goblins

Nautiloid picks up Shadowheart & the Prism from Astral Plane

Nautiloid picks up Lae’zel

Nautiloid goes to Baldur’s Gate, picks up Gale & Astarion

Nautiloid goes to Avernus, picks up Karlach & Wyll

Nautiloid crashes, (20 Eleasis, 1492)

Some helpful links:

A page from Sarevok’s book: Sarevok - (Murder tribunal)

Accelerated Grand Design: Gortash - (Gortash's Office)

An Offer: Gortash - (Peartree basement)

Aquatic Labor: Gortash - (Flymm’s Cargo Basement)

Baldur’s Gate Temple of Bhaal: Yanthus - (Gortash’s Office)

Balthazar’s Notes: Balthazar - (Necrotic laboratory)

Clasped Book: Balthazar - (Balthazar’s chambers)

Devil’s Fee Observer’s Report**: Himberloo - (Nine-Fingers’ office)

Elder Brain Domination: Ketheric/Yanthus - (Ketheric’s Room)

Enhanced Weapons - Sales Ledger: Peartree - (Peartree basement)

Experiment on Cruor: Orin - (Temple of Bhaal)

How To Build a Watcher: deceased Gondian - (Steel Watch foundry) 

Journal of Enver Gortash: Gortash - (Gortash’s Office)

Magical Histories: Volume 2: The Spellplague: unknown - (Sorcerous Sundries)

Memoir Notes with Recent Addenda: Gortash - (Gortash’s office)

Missive from Gortash: Gortash - (Ketheric’s room)

Missive from Ketheric: Ketheric - (Moonrise, 2nd floor)

Mistress of Souls’ Research Log: Kressa - (Mind flayer barracks)

My Gratitude: Gortash - To Peartree (Peartree basement)

Next Steps: Gortash - (Gortash’s office)

Prayer for Forgiveness: Durge - (Necrotic laboratory)

Scrapbook of Letters: Gortash/Durge - (Flymm’s Cobblers)

Special Operations - Infernal Arms: Uktar - 

Studies of the Elder Brains: Gortash/Yanthus - (Gortash’s Office)

Suspended Ceremorphosis: Gortash/Yanthus - (Tadpoling center)

Test Mission with Gortash: Durge - (Temple of Bhaal)

The Astral Prism Heist: Gortash - (Gortash’s office)

The Dukes of Baldur’s Gate: unknown - (Baldur’s Mouth/Peartree’s house)

The Grand Design: Gortash/Yanthus - (Mind flayer colony)

The True Life of ‘Lord’ Gortash: a skeleton - (Wyrm’s Rock Prison)

The Ultimate State: Gortash - (Gortash’s office/Flymm’s Cobblers)

*an in-game contradiction between Gortash and Durge. See: ‘Test Mission with Gortash’ and ‘Memoir Notes with Recent Addenda’. I’ve placed it after, but there’s also a legitimate argument to be made that Gortash and Durge met and became allies much earlier, possibly around the same time as Gortash’s betrayal of Karlach

Additionally, the House of Wonders (church/workshop) and the Hall of Wonders (museum) are two different buildings in the Upper City. Durge writes that the Hall is their target, while Gortash writes that the House is their target. It is my opinion that they hit both locations.

**no link cuz the bg3.wiki doesn’t have it??

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 timeline #The Dead Three #Lord Enver Gortash #Orin the Red #The Dark Urge #The Emperor #Shadowheart #Lae'zel of K'liir #Gale of Waterdeep #Gale Dekarios #Astarion Ancunin #Karlach Cliffgate #Wyll Ravengard #The Blade of Frontiers #High Harper Jaheira #Minsc of Rashemen #There's also a note from a Sharran who witnessed durgetash coming out of the devil's fee but I couldn't find that either #Anything that I learned from in-game dialogue isn't in the wiki at all so you'll have to find it yourself #I suspect that Special Operations - Infernal Arms is probably on Uktar's person but I haven't confirmed #5/26 edits to a few items / added note about the Hall and/or House of Wonders Heist

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Market based mistakes.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #wen chao #wen zhuliu #Apologies for how much I skipped in the last part of this episode. #I do love the scene of Jiang Cheng regaining his will to live and the ensuing scenes of Wei Wuxian seeing him off at the mountain base. #At the same time I very much want to keep pressing on with the story. #The notes I have are for scenes I did not draw: #I still think a lot about the symbolism of food in both consumption and giving - especially in regards to the Yunmeng Trio. #Prior to JC leaving we see WWX out buying food for him. Something that initially falls through as JC runs back to Lotus Pier. #But here it comes back full circle. WWX gives away a part of himself to be 'consumed' by Jiang Cheng. #It is about being led by desire (JC wanting revenge to losing his will to live to wanting his core back) #and about being bound by duty to do whatever it takes to see those desires through to the end. #JC can't eat until he has his desire to live back. WWX carves out his own ambitions to help another reach theirs. #And it isn't held up as noble! Not even once! He is routinely punished and criticized for this sacrifice. #Being thrown into the burial mounds really is just symbolism for how we can give away every scrap of ourselves to others- #-and find ourselves at rock bottom. Alone. #When you hollow yourself out it just leaves room for something else to fill it. Something worse.

[shiraishi--kanade]

"It's so embarrassing to admit I only create art for validation" did paleolithic humans not paint for other humans to see. Does a child making their first drawing to show their parents makes it any less valuable. Do gardens arranged for the visitors' eyes make the roses any less beautiful. Do love poems written for one person alone to hear make your heart ache less. You're fine

#jay rambles.txt #two very hard pills to swallow: 1. art has always been created for money and it's a very normal practice in human history #and actually artists being expected to produce art for free or as cheap as they do now is a relatively new thing #2. humans have always created art for validation because being recognised and understood by your fellow humans is a universal human need #if you start to idealise artistry as something inherently selfless that needs to come with no gain or benefits or instead brings only pain #you are going down a VERY dangerous path of not being able to express yourself without shame - if at all #and potentially dragging other people you told close down into that mentality too if you're vocal about it #I've been there #I am there #It's a shitty feeling but the only way out of it is true embrace your need to be loved and desire for human connection or it won't end well #idk that's my opinion tho

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 71: shy

#codacheetah #isat #loop isat #isabeau isat #isat spoilers #i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image #top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade #like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky #they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower #second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops #ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon #for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that. #theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful #(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.) #like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in. #onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the #obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin) #(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS) #but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus #that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop #theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them #theyre still siffrin. if also loop. #i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more. #but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing #tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner. #hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies #idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone

[lilu-the-almighty]

Hey guys did you know fantasizing about and being open to having a polyamorous relationship actually means you are polyamorous? just figured that out. wild.

#Well i guess you never stop discovering things about yourself lmao #poly #polyamourous #polyamory #polyam #lgbt #queer #coming out