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maschotch · 2 years

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I started watching cm from season one again because i got to season 12 and realised that basically all the castmembers have been changed, and then Hotch was on his way out and I just can’t handle change too well… anyways, what I’ve realized is that Hotch was a lot more funny at least in the first season than in the rest of the seasons. Like, he’d just get these funny one-liners that are probably made even funnier because I know him from season 11/12 where he’s as bland as white bread (affectionate)

early seasons hotch my beloved…

i do think some of the tonal shifts were just from writing changes as they settled into the typical archetypes associated with crime dramas (especially after they gideon was replaced by rossi, since they needed a serious counterpart to restore the balance). they lost a lot of nuance very early on once they got into the rhythm of pumping out episodes that would ensure more viewers. which is to be expected, i guess, but there really is something truly special about the first season of the show.

that being said, i think it’s also kinda fitting for his character?

season one hotch is still new to being unit chief. he was accustomed to a supporting role, which allowed him to be more casual and laid back around the others (though he was always at least somewhat serious). we meet him right as he starts to shift into the mode of professionalism, and from the easygoing way the older team members, like morgan and garcia, interact with him—teasing, flirting, complaining, just overall seeming more comfortable—they’re used to him being at least somewhat responsive to their banter. and he still is—especially in season one—but there’s a modicum of gravity to his actions, realizing that there’s more at stake

it becomes all too clear to him when he’s not overtly clear with his instructions to anderson, and elle nearly dies because of it. we get a vague sense that some things have changed in the time before the show begins, but the contrast between season one and season two hotch is glaringly obvious. he slipped up. he failed them. he doesn’t have time to mess around like he used to; he has to prioritize the team’s safety, even if it means establishing a barrier that hadn’t existed before. i think the importance of that is amplified by gideon’s struggles: hotch realizes very quickly that ultimately it is his responsibility to maintain order within the team. he cuts back on the jokes and establishes a more severe demeanor—especially with the obvious plant sent by strauss to keep an eye on him (though emily wasn’t aware of it at the time)

the final nail in the coffin is gideon’s departure. from a writing standpoint and a character standpoint: gideon had his moments but he was pretty dry, whereas rossi is more sardonic and playful in nature. not wanting to overburden the team dynamic with goofiness, they needed to sober hotch’s character a bit. within the story itself, hotch as a character feels even more pressure to be the voice of reason, transitioning from the protective older brother to the attentive and morally upright father. he can’t mess around with the team as much as he used to. even if he could, with the mounting guilt of losing elle then gideon—plus all the other crazy shit that happened in season two—it would be hard for him to engage with them so flippantly

as the trauma continues to build over the seasons for both the team and himself (haley leaving, kate dying, the foyet business, haley dying, jj getting ripped away, emily “dying”), by the end of season six he’s haggard and weary in an entirely new way. the last few years were brutal for him, and he takes responsibility for everything that happens to the team as well. the jokes have all but disappeared. he can still find it within himself to be lighthearted at times, especially around garcia and reid, but overall he’s just too stressed out to even feel the urge

with emily’s return i think things begin to settle. the team is healing, and although they’ll never be the same, it’s still a little easier for him to smile. whether it’s because he feels some sense of accomplishment from finally being able to save someone or simply because it’s been enough time for him to process all that other shit, he gradually opens up and allows himself to appreciate the warmth of those around him. as the seasons continue, i think it gets easier and easier. he’s still serious and hard to read at times, but the best example i can think of is how cheerful he is when he hugs kate goodbye and how supportive he is of tara splitting the job so she can follow her dreams. he’s not as uptight anymore, not nearly as high strung. there’s still a little tension, he still blames himself for too much, but he has enough support that he can enjoy a night out at a jazz club with dave or karaoke with the team.

i do like the early seasons way more and i did have to stop around season 12 the first time before finishing the show a few years later. truly i didn’t really mind the main cast starting to break away (i had already faced that particularly brand of heartache when i watched season 8 for the first time and emily wasn’t there), though i do see how it can be jarring. it’s been more than a decade: changes are bound to happen. thankfully it’s just a show, so we can take a break before coming back to it later when we’ve had more time to adjust

most of my complaints from the later seasons are more about the writing than anything else. starting with season 11 i think the overall plots get sloppy and it’s clear they’re just trying to crank up the drama. which again, i suppose, is to be expected. truthfully i think the genius of criminal minds was just a fluke to begin with. but it’s still kind of painful to see the steep quality decline—and jumping from various eras in cm is always a bit jarring. i’d like to think it’s more than just nostalgia that keeps the early seasons special, but it’s entirely possible it’s been shit the whole time and it’s just easier to notice when it’s shot in high definition

#and to be fair i love some of the newer cast members!!#luke is my best friend!!#so i'd encourage you to give it a shot when you're ready for it :)#oh and don’t fucking kid yourself—hotch has ALWAYS been normcore saltine white boy #he was just willing to crack a couple jokes in the beginning #asks #cm crit #<- kinda ig #all this to say i'm not utterly disappointed by the changes in hotch's character #i do wish we got to see a bit more of his playful side later on (and we get a glimpse every now and then)#but it's not the same #there's something about the season one team dynamic.. where they haven't explicitly labelled each other family ..#but they all still feel it...#idk. it's just. special #ANYWAY. stop sending me asks that i have to write essays for kajshdlgs im tryna write for today's prompt

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the-invisible-queer · 1 year

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The muppets but it’s criminal minds and Hotch is the grumpy blue eagle

BUT HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS? Easily best fucking movie of 2018

It's on Netflix and Brian Henson, son of Jim Henson who created the Muppets worked on it! As well as a handful of Henson company puppeteers!

youtube

#send me another ask for my Muppets CM casting tho

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littlecarmine · 1 year

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I really didn't like the finale but the entire thing with Rossi was the worst part imo, I had to speed watch his scenes because I was cringing so hard

hi anon!

i cant decide which was worse the scenes with his wife (which were so long!!) or when he literally blows up his bunker but is fine bc he hid behind a table 💀

im happy for the people who liked the finale but i was really disappointed by it

#not cm #h answers #criminal minds spoilers #criminal minds evolution spoilers #criminal minds evolution #thank u for the ask <3 #anons :)#i wonder if some of the cast are over it because emily seemed pretty flat and jj is just there atp

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ssaalexblake · 1 year

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i swear she used the exact same disappointed parent body language on sabrina. possibly when she turned her high school rival into a pineapple. this is hurting my brain.

#cm shit #cm spoilers #it is very rude to go on instagram to ask the casting director why she did this to me #that is my new mantra i am repeating but am not typing out more than once for effect #but god dammit why did you do this to me lisa???#everybody judging me for knowing who the casting director is can stop. we're in nerdland and you have no right to judge

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gtgbabie0 · 1 year

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Soft mornings

{Mornings with Spencer Reid are a rare but welcomed thing}

I finally started watching CM!! and this my first time writing for Spencer so I’m kinda nervous! Anyway, I hope you enjoy my lovelies!! 💕💕

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The sun peaks from between the pewter grey clouds, slipping between the gasp in the curtains as it casts beams of light across the bedroom, spilling up the walls and ceiling, a calm breeze pushes through the open window that you must’ve forgotten to shut last night, a mistake you come to feel grateful for, as you snuggle closer to a snoring Spencer Reid.

You smile at the way his hands find themselves dipping underneath your shirt settling against your belly, smoothing over to rest on your waist. He mumbles something completely incoherent as he nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck and it’s only when his lips graze against your ear do you hear the quiet words, ‘Good morning’.

“Good morning angel” you whisper as he nuzzles his nose against your shoulder laughing at the sweet nickname that makes his chest feel all fluttery.

His fingers trace mindless patterns against your skin, “How are you so warm?” He asks, shivering slightly as the morning coldness seeps into the room, his legs entangled with yours as he tries to cipher your body heat.

You giggle as you gently run your fingers through his tangled bed hair, “Maybe it’s because my six foot one boyfriend practically sleeps on top of me” you tease, feeling the way he smirks against your shoulder.

He meekly shakes his head in disagreement, knowing all too well that what you’re saying isn’t very far from a lie, he doesn’t say anything, instead, he basks in the warmth of your body, his heart so full of love as your arms wrap around him keeping him from moving, not that he’d want to.

“Well you forgot to shut the window- maybe you like it” he quips nuzzling himself impossibly closer to you, and you can’t help the giggle that falls from your lips, a sound Spencer could never get bored of.

A minute or so passes as you both lay wrapped up with each other, enjoying the loving warmth that blankets the pair of you, it’s safe here in your arms, he thinks to himself as you lean to pepper ticklish kisses to his shoulders.

“Do you want coffee?” You ask, smiling as he looks up at you with those pretty brown eyes of his, his lips stretched into a tight smile, and you can’t help but admire the morning sun that speckles over his face.

“Hmm- yes, please” he can feel himself blush at the way you marvel at him and he can’t quite believe that you’re actually looking at him, like that, like he means the world to you, and he does.

He closes his eyes as you lean to press a kiss to the small beauty mark that sits above his eyebrow, a habit of yours he picked up on quite early, and the soft feeling makes his heart melt.

“Yeah that means you’re going to have to release me Spence” you smile as he rest his head against your chest.

“Oh- Right, sorry-” he gives you a breathy giggle as he untangles himself from you, watching as you climb out of the bed to only slip on a jumper to savour the little heat you have, and you disappear out the bedroom door.

Spencer suddenly misses the warmth, misses you, which is stupid because he knows you’re in the kitchen making him his morning coffee, but that doesn’t stop the yearning that overcomes his heart, a yearning that only you seem to have the power to stop and so he stretches before following you into the kitchen.

You’re humming some tune as you plop three teaspoons of sugar into the hot beverage stirring carefully as you tap your fingers against the marbled countertops to some tune you have stuck in your head.

Spencer can’t help but watch from the doorframe with love in his eyes, he clears his throat making himself known before he walks up behind you, his arms wrap around your waist and his hands dip underneath your shirt as they settle against your belly.

“Missed me already?” You ask as he peppers soft kisses against your jaw.

“I always miss you love” he whispers, resting his chin on your shoulder and you feel yourself go giddy at the softness that bleeds into his tone.

There’s a certain heaviness to his words that you’re both aware of, time was a precious thing for you and Spencer and you knew that going into the relationship, so it made mornings like this much more special.

You turn around to face him your hands cupping either side of his jaw, “Well it’s a good job we’ve got the whole day together, huh?” Your thumb grazes along his warm cheek as you press a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, he nods stuttering a quiet ‘y-yeah it is’.

Spending mornings together without the pressure of getting to work on time was such a rare thing that it felt so odd whenever you got days off, the peaceful atmosphere that settles over the both of you was strange but certainly not unwelcome.

You weren't racing against time today. You try to rack your head for ideas of how to spend your day off together as you sit down next to him at the table, “Hm, the whole day with Spencer Reid, what a pleasure” he turns to face you with a bashful smile, “Is there anything you want to do?” You ask, watching as he contemplates the question.

“Um, I-I don’t mind as long as I’m with you,” he says with a soft chuckle, wincing at the way his voice quivers ever so slightly, and you can’t help the butterflies.

You giggle, brushing your hand against his warm cheek, noticing the redness that tints his face and he doesn’t hesitate to lean into your loving touch.

“Real smooth Spence” you tease tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Thanks- I try my best,” he says taking a sip of his coffee, his hand entwining with yours as you both listen in on the small radio that plays.

“Well, why don’t we start with breakfast first?” You suggest and he nods, with that look in his eyes, the same look he gives before he goes off rambling.

“Yes, we should actually, breakfast is considered the most important meal of the day as it replenishes your supply of glucose to boost your energy levels and alertness, while also providing other essential nutrients required for good health— in fact, a study-“ he catches himself, clearing his throat.

Spencer swears his heart stops as you look at him with the kindest eyes he’s ever seen, you’re really listening to him, “Right, breakfast, we should- we should have breakfast” he smiles as you press a kiss to his forehead.

“Blueberry pancakes?” You suggest watching as his eyes light up with excitement and he quickly stands up with you as he gathers the ingredients.

You nudge his hip with yours gently as he stumbles out of your way as you take the blueberries from the fridge, “Oh- remember to actually wait until it’s finishing cooking before you go all flip crazy” he reminds you as you scoff playfully at him.

“Oh come on, that was one time Spence” you huff, he helps you prepare the pancake batter with shared laughter as you both make an inevitable mess of the countertops, and there is no one else he’d rather spend his days off with than you.

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milkzoro · 5 months

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whilst staying on the sunny, luffy and his crew permitted you and law to use their new pool whenever you felt like it. with the hot summer days, your desire for the cool water only grew stronger, but your stubborn boyfriend, and captain, wasn’t too much of a fan. you had your ways though, and it wasn’t long before he gave into you.

𐙚 pool sex with trafalgar law 𐙚 MDNI

you begged for law to come join you in the pool, you assured him that it was safe enough and it wasn’t that deep. after all, he was 191 cm and the max depth was only six feet. he just liked to be a little brat sometimes.

he stood at the edge of the concrete border with his arms crossed and a pout on his face, you splashed at him, earning annoyed groans from your boyfriend.

“baby come in pleaseeee the water feels so good!” you pleaded, putting on your best doe-eyed expression and reaching out to hold his hands. he grabbed them and sat down on the lip of the pool, only dipping his legs in the water. his thumbs traced circles over your knuckles as he contemplated his answer.

he pulled your hands closer and gave them a loving kiss.

“y/n-ya.. only since you’ve asked so nicely.” law never let go of your hands as he hopped down to join you in the perfectly warm water.

he gave you a sweet kiss on your plump lips and you instantaneously attached yourself to him, holding on to his broad shoulders and wrapping your thighs around his toned waist as he carried you—sharing many more kisses with you under the pretty sunset of the evening.

he held you tight, chasing your lips again and again. a smirk formed on your face as you felt law slowly start to grind against you. whimpers poured from you in between the wet, open mouth kisses—you smiled against his lips.

you broke away for a moment to say, “what- what if they c-come mmhhh back baby??”

he walked you over to the edge of the water with you still in a tight embrace, he had you leaned against the wall of the pool giving you no room to squirm away.

“don’t worry. i’ll make sure that won’t happen my love.” he pushed your swim bottoms to the side and lowered his trunks, freeing his needy cock into the water. it was a new sensation for the both of you and you could tell he was excited.

slowly, he lowered you down on him, squeezing the fat of you ass as he pulled you close, water came in waves between the two of you, just like how your orgasm was building as he filled you.

“pretty girl.. you did this to me you know…” he purred in your ear. “i’m glad you got me in here baby, feels so good fuckkkk.”

you clawed at his tatted back, pulling to try and get him to go deeper—you buried your face in the crook of his neck to try and suppress the sounds of your whinny moans.

“baby it’s okay— they’re not back yet, i got you… it’s okay you can do it.”

you squeeze around him. his sweet voice had you all worked up.

“f-fuck law.. wanna cum, can you go faster baby? please? maaahh hhahhhh-”

he reluctantly agreed, he was also soon approaching his high, his thrust turned sporadic— droplets of water decorating your face as he bounced you on his aching cock.

“cum for me baby, i know your close, the way your squeezing around me proves it.” he whispered in your ear, his words casting a spell on you to release around him. the knots in your tummy were about to snap. you held onto him, squeezed your eyes shut and whined out his name repeatedly.

“shit— that’s it baby… i’m right there too, wanna make a mess of you. so soo good for me y/n-yaa.”

with final thrusts, he filled you up—hanging his head low in the crease of your neck as filthy moans dripped from his mouth. law held you close with your legs still loosely tied around him, keeping the two of you connected while he walked you to the stairs of the pool. he turned his head at the sound of a familiar group.

he kissed your cheek, “see baby, just in time.”

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

#one piece x reader #trafalgar law #one piece smut #one piece #trafalgar law smut #one piece scenario #trafalgar law x reader #law fluff #law smut #trafalgar op #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar law fluff #trafalgar law one piece

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jenny-from-the-bau · 3 months

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The blomde actress who looks like AJ is called Danielle Sever

Thank you!

#cm cast ask #fvns #ask

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unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix · 3 months

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I love JJ so much that even though I found evolution lacking, I liked having JJ back and wouldn’t want to lose her in future seasons. But part of me also wishes that AJ could get cast in a new show that fully utilises her acting abilities and has a fandom that appreciates her and her character more.

Honestly same anon. As much as I don’t want AJ to leave the show, I truly believe there are so many other opportunities for her to get casted in other projects, or even to just direct some stuff outside of CM. She definitely gets so much hate as JJ and I’d love to see her acting abilities be given more credit.

She said she’s into a lot of dark comedy and psychological thriller projects, and honestly some of those things have so much more character development than CM and focuses on an ensemble cast pretty equally imo. And supposedly as of 2021, AJ was working on a project (“Contain”) with Emmett Hughes, who frequently works with some of the CM cast, but ig was abandoned.

I know that AJ said that she’d want to go to her indie roots if anything happened to the reboot, or some shows that she’s seen recently like: The White Lotus 👀, probably Severance, or Ozark (I’m not sure if that’s still on). Or she could even guest star on 911 again as Kira…

#aj cook #jennifer jareau #criminal minds #cm cast talk #anon asks #alyssa’s asks

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petermorwood · 2 months

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Flammkuchen / Tarte Flambeé / "German pizza"

This evening I found a slab of Speck (strong-smoked bacon) in the freezer that I didn't know we had, there was half an onion and a tub of Lithuanian sour cream in the fridge, so @dduane decided to try Flammkuchen.

Originally, so the story goes, it was made by bakers as a pre-thermometer way to check the temperature of their wood-fired ovens (and provide a quick snack at the same time).

Tarte flambée is the French name, but "German Pizza" or indeed any sort of pizza it certainly isn't; there's neither tomato sauce nor cheese, and no yeast in the dough.

Whether it's German or French depends on who you ask, since it originates from the province of Alsace, an area which has changed hands a lot in the past couple of centuries and whose ownership has been A Source Of Friction Between Guess Who for almost as long.

To stay neutral, the recipe DD used is Swiss. ;->

Here's the translation:

*****

Alsatian tarte flambée

This delicious speciality from Alsace is also ideal for an aperitif. Thinly rolled bread dough with sour cream, onions and bacon cubes!

350g flour (12½ oz) 1.25 tsp salt 2 dl water (6.7 US fl oz / .42 US pt) 2 tbsp olive oil 200 g crème fraîche / sour cream (7 oz) 2 onions (we had less, so used less...) 120 g farmer's (thick, well-smoked) bacon in slices (4¼ oz) a small grind of pepper

And this is how it's done:

Mix flour and salt in a bowl. Pour in water and oil, mix and knead into a soft, smooth dough. Form the dough into a ball, cover and let it rest at room temperature for about 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 240 degrees (464 F). Halve the dough and roll it out into an oval shape about 3 mm thick (1/10 inch) on a lightly floured surface. Place the dough on two baking sheets lined with baking paper.

Spread the crème fraîche / sour cream over the dough, leaving a border of approx. 1 cm (½ inch) free all around. Peel the onions, cut them into fine rings, cut the bacon into strips, spread both over the crème fraîche / sour cream and season.

Baking per tray: approx. 12 minutes each on the bottom shelf of the oven.

*****

Since this was our first time making Flammkuchen, we baked them one at a time to check for errors. There were none (Swiss recipe!) and 12 minutes was exactly right to produce this result both times:

DD needs to be careful because of IBS so they were made with mostly bacon on one side, mostly onion on the other, and with a glass of cool white wine they made an excellent Sunday supper.

Next time, now we know how well this recipe works, we'll be more generous with the toppings. :->

Incidentally, rather than baking-trays or the pizza stone we need to replace (ceramic utensils, tile floors and gravity Do Not Mix Well) we used the cast-iron griddle which in summer often goes on the BBQ...

... and gave the oven a thorough pre-heating, then transferred the Flammkuchen in and out with a peel, all of which worked splendidly.

That tip about using baking paper is excellent, BTW: no sticking, no spillage, no washing up. I bet it'll work with other things as well.

Like, for instance, more Flammkuchen... ;->

#food and drink #Flammkuchen #“German pizza”#sour cream onion & bacon tart

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railingsofsorrow · 4 months

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do you need me?

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: the one where emily's death takes a toll on you. based on the prompt “don't come over, I can handle it.” from this prompt list.

pairing: s.reid x gn!reader

w.c: 3.5K

warnings/content: mentions of skipping meals; grief; mourning the loss of a friend; jemily (implied); blood; non-graphic descriptions of violence; character death (mentioned/not the MCs); addiction; intoxication; survivor's guilt; crying; unhealthy coping mechanisms; this is... heavy, be aware.

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! I wish that we all have an amazing 2024. here's the blurb you voted for. hurt/comfort at its best <3

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

would you like to enter my taglist?

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❝ it did not kill me and it did not make me stronger. it simply was and always will be scorched upon my heart. ❞

— d.j

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You don't know who took Emily's death the hardest. Pain is not something that can be measured or compared, people deal with it in different ways. Some are quieter in their grieving, others are loud. And although each one of your teammates knows how to compartmentalize their feelings, there was a fog in their eyes, a heaviness in their shoulders more than usual. Things you could relate well after all that has happened. You wish you didn't. You wished all of that was just a strange and far-off memory.

JJ was different — you noticed it during one of your night outs.

Penelope had forced everyone to hang out after a case, to relax. It had been a few months after what happened to Emily and the team was still... sore. Rightfully so.

Hotch and Rossi left earlier, leaving you, Derek, Spencer, Penelope and JJ at the bar. The only ones who weren't intoxicated were you and Spencer. You were pretty sure the conversation Penelope and Derek were having in their own little world was not PG-13, anyway.

“Do you think she's alright?”

Spencer asked, casting a look towards JJ. It's been half an hour she was nursing a glass of water — you had purposely brought her this one since she'd lost count of her shots —, staring at it with her stare unfocused.

“She will be.” You had said and when he told you he was leaving, you asked if he wanted a ride home. You hadn't drank anything but orange juice. He refused it, hugged you and, before he left, he demanded that you'd let him know once you got home.

You ended up being JJ's designated driver that night.

It was when you first saw a crack through the mask she had put on. Emily and JJ shared a deep bond. You knew their friendship wasn't just friendship, even before Emily had revealed to you that she had feelings for the blonde a while back. When Emily was gone, you saw how JJ took it hard. Not that everyone else didn't as well, but the love from each person in the team carried for Emily was different from the love JJ had for her.

Between the gibberish she was mumbling in the passenger seat of your car, she let escape a faint “I miss her”. Her voice cracked and your heart ached.

“D’ you think...” She muttered as you were helping her into her bed. “D'you think she miss— a hiccup — misses us?”

You refrained from saying that dead people cannot miss anything. Instead, you waited for her to fall asleep, placed a cup of water and aspirin on her bedside table before leaving her apartment.

She pretended nothing happened in the next day and you did the same.

You thought JJ had it worst, until Spencer showed up at your door at 3 a.m craving for something he hadn't touched in three years.

Again, pain is not comparable. One does not hurts more than another; people deal with their hardships in life differently, even if they have gone through the same life-changing event.

Some let it show, others just know how to hide it better. You no longer knew if you were the former or the latter through the eyes of your friends.

The current case you were working on had rendered you mentally exhausted. A victim had been taken hostage and for two days you tried to negotiate with the unsub, but to no avail. You almost had it. Almost. When you thought you had succeeded in releasing the woman, she was shot right in front of you.

She died in your arms and there was nothing that you could have done to prevent.

Or was there?

There was nothing that you could have done. You have heard that before. Countless of times. People tried to inject that into your head as a way to make you feel better. And they have their best intentions, you do not doubt it. But it was no use if you couldn't bring yourself to believe these words.

This was just one of those days, when you didn't know how to cope with that overbearing sadness that crippled your mind.

There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have—

“Hey.”

You flinched, startled at the voice. As you came back to reality, Spencer turned up in front of you.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” His face twitched into a grimace.

You cleared your throat, placing your stuff in your bag. You were so distracted that you didn't realise you had been holding the bloodied shirt you were wearing in the morning; you shoved it inside carelessly. I'm gonna burn it.

“You didn't,” you said. “What's up? I thought you had left already.”

Spencer leaned on the door, fingers playing with the strap of his satchel as he waited for you to leave the room. He followed you to the corridor, an unspoken silence that said a million things. His fidgety hands weren't just mindlessly stimming, he was nervous.

Everyone else seemed to have left, meaning the bullpen was fairly empty. You wondered how long you stayed frozen reminiscing as the minutes went by.

“I was waiting for you.” He responded as soon as the elevator doors closed.

You turned to him with widened eyes. “Why? I'm sorry I kept you waiting—”

Spencer quickly waved you off, “It's alright.” He gave you a soft smile. The one you felt warm inside. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

Oh.

“Of course I am.” You replied and you really hoped the tight smile you gave him was convincing enough for him to not question further. You weren't sure if you'd be able to not crumble down completely if he asked again.

“Are you sure?”

Damn, Spencer.

Yes, everything is good. I just need to get home, take a shower and have a good night sleep without interruptions.

Everything is good.

You don't know how many times you repeated that until he walked alongside you to the parking lot.

Arriving home was all that you needed to let your armour aside. God you were so tired. You didn't even reach your bedroom before the tears came like a waterfall. Falling into your couch, with no strength to stand, you finally stopped fighting against the sadness and let it lead you for the time being.

It's hard trying to be strong all the time, isn't it? Not admitting you need someone to be there for you because you only know how to be there for people. You tell them it's going to be okay. You let them be vulnerable. You say it's okay to not be okay.

Why can't you treat yourself the same way you treat the people around you?

You count every raindrop falling down your window, it helps you focus on reality. It was grounding and a few minutes later you have stopped sobbing your heart out.

It was raining hard outside. When you open the window, the cold slips right in and you stay there, enjoying the wind pushing your hair back.

You dial a familiar number tonight. And you don't hang up after two rings. You think about doing it in the fourth, but the person picks up, apologizing before they say hello.

It actually makes your lips twitch slightly. You don't smile, but you feel like doing it after crying so hard.

“Spencer.” You say through the phone interrupting his incessant apologies for taking too long to answer, your brows creasing after you hear how strange your voice is. “You don't have to apologize. I was the one who called you at one a.m. Why are you even awake?”

“I was reading. Lost track of time. I— have you been crying?” Well, shit. Too much for thinking he wouldn't notice through the phone.

“Why do you ask?” You ask rather pathetically. Why did you call him? Why did you bother Spencer at one a.m when he could be sleeping? You should feel sorry for yourself. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called—”

“I was thinking about you.”

Your breath hitches. You close the window and sit back on the floor and you feel like crying again, you don't know why. Maybe it's his voice. Maybe it's the fact that he makes you feel everything that you're allowed to feel.

He takes your silence as his cue to continue. “I know how much you love thunderstorms so I...” he trails off as if he's uncertain about what he will say. “I remembered you.”

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Spencer could take pride in saying he knew you better than anyone else.

He recognised the sound of your voice was different when your were excited about a particular topic and when you were discussing a case at work. He knew you brushed your hair behind your ear when you felt shy, but the same action could happen when you were uncomfortable. It heavily depended on the situation.

He was aware of your odd behaviour by the way you kept on touching your index finger throughout the day. The week, actually. Spencer could tell you were bothered by something, he could tell you were deeply upset. You skipped breakfast and you never had lunch with them. Not that past week.

And judging by the dark circles around your eyes, you weren't sleeping well either.

He saw himself in you a month back.

See, Spencer was the kind of person who didn't like being vulnerable around anyone. If anything, he mastered the act of not communicating his feelings, he just expected them to disappear, which didn't happen but he was getting better at understanding that.

After Emily's passing, the only one he opened up to was you. And it was the hardest and best choice he ever made. You made him feel seen. It was so easy to talk to you about anything that he didn't notice until a few days ago that you were a very good listener. Not that he didn't notice that before, no, it was not that. But you just listened. You comforted. You held.

Spencer was really concerned about your coping mechanisms, because he knew he didn't have the most healthy ways of dealing with things. He hoped you were better than him. He hoped you didn't let it build up until you were suffocating.

So when you called him, he wasn't lying when he said he was thinking of you. His lie laid on the reading part, he was trying to fall asleep but his concern was keeping him up.

I'm here for you too. He wanted to say. Please, let me be here for you.

“I know how much you love thunderstorms so I...” He sat down on the bed, shifting until he found a comfortable position. “I remembered you.” This is what he started with.

Your ragged breathing through the line cut off his rational thinking. So you have been crying.

He called your name softly.

“Hi. I'm here.” You say, forcing out an exhale.

“Talk to me.” He pleads.

He hears a faint sniffle, “I'm here, Spencer.”

No, you're not. You're far away.

“I'm here too. You know that right?”

“It's been a hard week.” You admit through your shaky voice. “I just needed to hear your voice.” You cut him off quickly. “I know that I saw you a few hours ago, but I—”

“Do you need me?” He was the one who cut you off this time. He couldn't bear you explaining the reason you called. You could call him as many times as you wanted. Every five minutes, every second. He wanted to tell you he missed you when your shift was over for the day even if he spent the entire day by your side, and that you never ever could bother him because he cherished your company. He wanted you close. And he just wanted you to be okay now.

“... It's one a.m, Spence.” There is some shifting through the line, sounds like you were moving around. “I— I can handle it. It's fine.”

“Do you need me?” He repeats, shuffling out of his room to the living room. He couldn't care less that it was one a.m. He found his coat hanged and didn't wait for your answer to put it on. Really, Spencer should have done it sooner.

He's half way on tying his left shoe when you breath out in resignation. Your voice much closer to his ear as if you were telling him a secret you should be ashamed of. “Yes. Yes, I need you.”

He let out a hum, standing up to grab his car keys and sprinted out of his home to go to yours.

“I'll be there in ten.”

You lived twenty minutes away from him, but he'd make in ten. He wanted to see you. More than anything, he wanted to tell you everything that you hadn't heard when you were too busy comforting people instead of yourself.

He stops short before knocking on your door, deciding on sending you a text to let you know he was there so you wouldn't be startled at the noise. He didn't get to click send as the door was yanked open. Your bloodshot eyes and swollen lips are the first thing he sees.

“Hi.” He says, slipping his phone into his pocket. As soon as he did that, your arms envelope his shoulders which caused him to let out a sound of surprise, but he quickly recover and wraps his own arms around you, squeezing your shaky body against his. “Hi.” He utters into the croak of your neck, his hand trailing up and down on your back gently. “I'm wet because of the rain,” he apologises halfheartedly. “Sorry.”

The laugh he hears through your sobs might just have made his day.

He was cold immediately after you slips out of his arms. You pull him inside your place and shut the door, claiming you would be back with a towel despite his protests that he didn't need it.

Spencer lost count of how many times he visited your place. He knew every corner of your apartment, every place you left books that you keep losing when you didn't found them on the shelves, every painting and drawing you had on the walls. The ones he happily convinced you to put on because you made them and they were beautiful, you just didn't believe it.

The two of you spent long hours on your couch, either reading a book and saying your favourite quotes out loud or just watching bad movies and TV shows to pass the time.

He'd ramble on and on about the inconsistencies of any plot and you'd engage in his refutations until you'd disagree and some bantering ensued.

“Here.” Spencer turns around to see you offering a towel for him to dry off. The middle of your forehead furrows slightly, he feels the need to smooth it out himself but he refrains from doing so. “It's dangerous to drive when the weather it's like this. I'm sorry that I made you come all the way here for nothing.”

“Nothing?” He shakes his head as if it's the most absurd thing you've ever said. “You're not nothing.” He accepts the towel and what he recognizes is a jumper of his he must have forgotten a while ago.

When he's completely dry, he walks to the kitchen where you had ventured off to make some tea.

Two mugs are placed on the kitchen counter, the smell of camomile slowly filling the room. You are lost in your thoughts again, mixing the honey in your tea with a spoon for forty-three minutes, your gaze unfocused. Lost.

His fingerstips trails down your wrist to your hand, proceeding to take one of your hands in his, thumb running across your palm. “Can you please look at me?” He requests softly, head tilting until you have no choice but to meet his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It” are a lot of things. But he doesn't know if you feel comfortable enough to talk about all of them tonight. He'll just follow your lead and respect your time.

“I don't want you to see me like this.”

He feels your fingers tighten around his hand and he squeezes back as a form of reassurance.

“Like what?” He can't help but ask. Vulnerable? Human?

“Weak.”

“You could never be weak in my eyes.”

This time, he does smooth down the frown between your brows with his thumb, surprised that you don't reject his touch but welcome it by leaning into his hand.

Neither of you drink the tea. Instead, you move back to the living room, settling down on your couch. You end up cuddling, which wasn't strange because you have done it many times before. Now it just feels more intimate. His hold never strayed from yours. This time, he listened. He comforted. And he held you.

“I'm used to blood, we see it all the time.” you carry on, speaking directly to his chest as he looks down at you. “But I... My hands. There was just so much of it and I couldn't, I couldn't save her.” Your fingers play with the straps of his jumper to distract yourself.

There was nothing that you could have done.

“She knows you did everything you could.” Spencer reassures. He was well aware that you weren't just talking about the victim that you had lost today. “Wherever she is right now...” He lifts a hand to cup your face stroking your cheek with the utmost care in the world. “She knows.”

Your bloodshot eyes study him carefully, searching for any indication that could make you not trust anything he just said. He knew how hard it was to believe that you had no fault in the loss of a friend. Maybe if we had gotten there sooner... Maybe if we had figured everything out sooner...

A little bird told him once that you can't dwell on the past for long or else you'll be stuck in it. And those words — your words — helped on his healing process. He hoped he did the same to you now.

You were laying on his chest, one of your hands positioned right where his heart laid as your other arm involved his middle. His arm wrapped around you as his fingers were trailing up and down your back in the way he knew calmed you down. Spencer felt the most rested he hasn't felt in months and he wasn't even sleeping.

“Tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable.”

He shook his head in response, finding that statement completely absurd because it was not possible for you to make him feel uncomfortable. He's not a fan of PDA, but he found that he didn't mind it with you. So he lowered down on the couch, moving your body with his to be more comfortable, lips grazing your temple in a soft kiss.

“You're not.” He says brushing your hair away from your neck. Your eyes were shut and he could feel your breathing evening out. “Try to sleep a little.” He let out in a whisper to not disturb your peacefulness. He knew you needed it.

“Don't go.” You croak out, tucking your nose in the croak of his neck, breathing into him.

The corner of his lips quirk up. “I'll be here when you wake up.” He promises as thunder rolled outside. Fluttering his eyes shut when you have finally dozed off, he ignores the warnings in his head about sleeping on the couch and how bad it is for one's neck.

No, he could deal with that tomorrow. For now, he would just hold you.

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❝ all I know of strength, I have learnt from breaking. ❞

— sahiba

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taglist: @lilyviolets

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #reader insert #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid angst

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brooooswriting · 11 months

Note

Can you write something about Melissa Barrera with a reader who’s shorter than her? :)

Yo shorty

Melissa Barrera x reader

You Met Melissa on the set of scream 6, you were her makeup artist and it was great. She was always very nice and polite, she was on time, didn’t stress you, wasn’t mad if something didn’t work out the first time and was always easy to talk to. You and her were a dream team all of the people you work with always told you which made both of you blush, but truth be told you were a great team. 90% of the time you were the first that were done, there was always laughter filling your trailer and you barely needed a second try on anything by now.

At some point your relationship with Melissa turned into more of a friendship, while everybody else had conversations about the set you were talking about your love life, her family and friends, just everything to the point where your colleagues started shipping you two.

Funny thing though, you have never been with Melissa when she was standing, she already sat in your Trailer when you came back with the makeup you needed and you often left the trailer before her. And due to her full schedule you had never met outside of set, even though that was planned.

The first time was when your co worker had a doctors appointment later that day so you had to change shifts, she would do her make up in the morning and you’d stay on set for fixes during the scene.

It seemed like nobody notified Melissa as she was utterly confused why nobody came running in way too late and hugging her sitting figure as a ‘hello’ and a ‘sorry for the delay’. “where’s y/n?” She asked as she sat down, ready to get her make up done. “We had to switch shifts, but hello to you too” anna, your coworker, grinned as she started with the foundation. “Oh you know I didn’t mean it like that” the brunette joked, sad that she didn’t see you in the morning.

She first saw you that day when you were coming on set, running again because you were late, crushing into her as a hello, your normal greeting by now. Except that this time Melissa didn’t have to look up to you, no she had to crane her neck to look down at you. About 20 cm under her line of eye, were you standing hugging her waist. She knew that you’d be smaller than her but she never thought that you were that small. Her arms wrapped around your shoulder nonetheless, she was slightly giggling while the rest of the cast was awing. “What are you laughing about?” You asked when you finally parted, “nothing, just your lateness” she lied, she didn’t want to point out the obvious. “Very funny” you grumbled as you pulled out a brush with fake blood on it to fix her forehead, the only problem was that even when you stretched your arm you couldn’t quiet touch her forehead the right way to fix the makeup. Jasmin immediately laughed out loud, Mason awed again while Jenna looked at you like she could relate.

This time Melissa wasn’t just giggling she was full on laughing, “want me to bend down?” She grinned at you making you roll your eyes. “Well you can bend down or I can punch you in the stomach so you have to bend over in pain” you deadpanned, Jenna smiling proudly. “Uhh, you got a feisty one Mel” Jasmin laughed again, you turned your head and raised an eyebrow at her which made her shut up and take a step back. “Let’s do my makeup over there” she grabbed your hand and pulled you behind a wall, sitting down on a chair which gave you better access to her face. “It’s cute that you’re so small” she muttered out, it wasn’t uncommon for her to flirt with her but you still blushed and mumbled a quick ‘thanks’ to her. When you pulled the brush away her hands grabbed your small waist, pulling you closer to the point where you sat on her lap, this was new. “Let me take you on a date” she spoke out causing you to freeze, the fact that you didn’t answer made her keep talking, “come on, we’ve been flirting the whole time and I promise I’ll treat you right, I’ll spoil you, love you and I’ll defend you when somebody makes fun of your height” you couldn’t help but laugh out at the last part. “Wouldn’t that be unprofessional?” You asked scared that this might get you fired, “it’s fine, I’ll talk to the producers alright? So can I pick you up tonight?” Your faces was tomato red and you didn’t trust your voice so you only nodded causing her to smile. “I’ll be there at 8”

Your first date was great, you got something to eat and just talked. After that followed 5 dates in the next 5 days, you couldn’t stop seeing each other. Both of you had wanted this since you started filming, you still decided to keep it on the low and not tell anybody right away. At least until your 7th date.

You slept over at Melissa’s, you had drunken a bit and she didn’t want you to drive so you decided to stay, being the gentlewomen she is she wanted to sleep on the couch but after a short discussion you shared the bed. She was nervous, which was pretty cute to you, you had to grab her arm and wrap it around your waist to indicate that cuddling was fine. That night you spent in her arms as the little spoon, due to the cold weather her body heat warmed you perfectly, especially because her body engulfed yours nearly completely.

The only problem was that you forgot to set your own alarm, you woke up to the actress’s alarm. “Mhm, turn that off” she grumbled into your neck her arms pulling you closer by the waist, you stretched your arm out to stop the alarm until you saw the time. “Fuck” you yelled out and jumped out of bed, “what’s wrong?” She asked quickly sitting up too, “it’s 5 am, I have to be there in 30 minutes, we have a conference today” you explained doing the math in your head, there was no way that you would have time to get home and get dressed and you couldn’t wear the dress you wore yesterday for the date, it was way to revealing for work. “It will be fine, you can wear some of mine cloths” she said, standing up and opening her closet. “Everything will be way to big on me” you pouted but it was your last option any way.

So Melissa found a pair of boyfriend jeans that were too short for her and you put on a hoodie from her and your chucks. You looked okay, but you felt awesome as the cloths smelled like her. “I gotta go, I’ll see you at 6 am right?” She nodded as she gave you a to go cup with coffee in it. “Alright, see ya later” you said and stood in your tippy toes signaling her that you wanted a goodbye kiss. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips while her hand rested on your waist, squeezing lightly. After a couple more kisses you finally parted.

You ran towards the conference room at 5:32 am, you were late but at least it was only 5 minutes. “Sorry, lots of traffic” you said as you speed walked towards your seat. “Aren’t those cloths way to big for you?” Anna who sat next to you mumbled out. “No, I ordered oversized ones” you lied keeping your eyes on the producer. Your coworker decided to let it slide this time turning back towards the producer.

When you walked out of the meeting it was 5:55am, “well, I’m gonna go get Mel ready” you said and walked to the trailer where Jasmin and your date already sat. “Nice cloths y/n” Jasmin called after you making you blush, “thanks, they’re new” you lied taking some makeup out of the shelf’s. “Really? I didn’t know they sold hoodies with the writing ‘Barrera’ on it” she laughed causing you to blush and for the first time you looked down and saw her name written on it. “You guys are so cute, but chill I won’t tell a soul” she added and you thanked her before walking to Melissa who was trying to stop laughing.

“You ass! You gave me that hoodie! You knew that your name was on it!” You hit her shoulder making her laugh even more, “well it’s cute” she only said before kissing you softly. “Shut up and turn so I can do your hair” you grumbled out.

“I gotta ask you something” Melissa spoke up as you sat on her couch watching football, “shoot” you mumbled turning your head away from the TV in front of you. “Well, you know that the premier of my new movie is gonna be soon right?” She asked and you nodded, “yes, I can do your make up” you laughed and kissed her cheek but she only shook her head. “No, I want you to come with me… as my girlfriend” she said. You stopped in shock only starring at her. “Your…girlfriend?” You repeated and she nodded. A smile formed on your face, and you threw yourself onto her lap kissing her as a ‘yes’.

Two weeks later you stood on the red carpet with her, her arm mostly resting on your head as a armrest making the others laugh while you grumbled. When the pictures turned serious she hugged you from behind, her arms around your waist and your head tucked under hers. “I love you shorty” she mumbled into your hair. You turned around and kissed her with your hands on her neck, “I love you too you asshole” you mumbled before turning back.

#reader insert #brooooswriting #melissa barrera x reader #melissa barrera #Melissa Barrera x y/n #Melissa Barrera x fem!reader #sam carpenter #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x you

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