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babbushka · 4 years

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My Agent

Bond Villain!Kylo Ren x 007!Reader

2.5k ; Content Warnings: It’s really way more tender than I anticipated lol but Light murder (gun violence & mention of blood), NSFW (Bondage/predicament bondage, fingering)

Inspired by an idea from the ever wonderful @contesa-lui-alucard!

[not my gif, please let me know if you happen to know the op so i can give proper credit!]

Kinktober Masterlist || Available on AO3

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You can’t help but think this whole thing got blown way out of proportion. Really, you don’t know how things like this happen to you; by all accounts you should’ve been in and out with no problem – a routine mission sent by Mi6 to investigate some potential new threat to the peace of the world. That was all, just an investigation, and now look at you.

Deep underground in some evil villain’s volcanic lair, chained to a large steel beam on a platform that is slowly sinking into what can only be described as a river of magma. You’re a good ten meters away from it still, but the heat is unbearable, as the molten metals of the Earth bubble and hiss below your feet. Tugging on your restraints and trying to plan, you try to figure out some way to break these bonds so you can escape while the monologuing of this newest and most annoying megalomaniac drones on.

Ahead of you, standing on the middle of a dangerously narrow bridge that stretches across the red hot bubbling death trap you are being sent into, is your captor, and you’d very much like to free yourself if for no other reason than to get him to shut up.

That is, until, there’s a BANG!

The man falls forward, clutching at his stomach where a large red blood spot has begun to seep into his expensive suit, and standing behind him is none other than your arch rival, your nemesis, the notorious villain himself – Kylo Ren.

Dressed in a pristine white tuxedo, Kylo tucks his gun back into the holster concealed against his side in his jacket. He’s smiling, grinning in fact, and you want to roll your eyes, because of all the ways for him to see you, chained up like some damsel in distress isn’t one of your preferred scenarios.

Kylo kicks the shot man, your target, off the narrow bridge, and you both watch as his body falls into the depths with a hard smack before the bubbling gurgling spitting magma consumes him. It’s a bit brutal, but you would have done so yourself if you weren’t so, well, tied up.

“Hello gorgeous.” After the last of the man’s flesh is burned and eaten away, Kylo begins a slow walk down the rest of the bridge.

“Oh not you again.” You groan, half amused and half irritated, in that way that Kylo always makes you.

He rests at the edge of the bridge, looking down at you where the platform continues to descend. You’re not afraid though, not now that he’s here. Glancing behind him way on the other side of the volcano, you can just barely make out the forms of his henchmen standing at the control panels which safely sit behind thick glass windows.

“What, not happy to see me?” He raises his scarred brow. He’s entirely too casual, stuffing his hands in his pockets while he looks down at you, watches you sink ever more towards the magma.

“No, Mr. Ren. I had everything perfectly under control.” You lie. Well, maybe it’s not a lie, but you’re sure you could’ve figured something out had he not shown up. You’ve gotten yourself out of stickier situations than this, after all, you weren’t the top agent for nothing.

“Of course you did.” Kylo shakes his head and grins, “Here I thought I was helping.”

“If you really wanted to help, you would’ve stopped this platform from sinking.” You point out.

The heat is starting to become anxiety-inducing, just from the sheer proximity of it. You saw what happened to the man, to your captor, and your heart starts to pound at the thought of that happening to you. Especially when Kylo shrugs and shakes his head.

“Hmm, no I don’t think I will.” He replies, making you scowl.

“Kylo!” You shout at him angrily, your voice sharp enough that he winces.

“I’m just teasing.” He says quickly, before looking back over his shoulder towards the henchmen who are watching carefully and calling to his favorite, “Slip! Reverse it, bring her back up.”

Relief floods through you as the hydraulics hiss and the machines whirr to reverse the direction of your movement. Smoothly, the platform raises and carries you back to relative safety away from the magma, clicking and settling into place at the edge of the bridge where Kylo is anxiously waiting for you.

He doesn’t bother to wait until the platform settles all the way, stepping onto the platform as it still moves up to cup your cheeks in his hands and kiss you. His mouth is insistent on yours, unyielding, and despite how he is certain to make you go grey at your young age, you long to hold him.

“Are you alright?” Kylo asks, pulling away to search your face, your eyes. His are so brown, even the scarred one, the damage there not doing anything to inhibit the sheer depth of his gaze. “Answer me honestly.”

“I’m fine, I promise.” You nod, because really for all intents and purposes, you are fine. There’s nothing much wrong with you aside from the soreness in your shoulders from being chained up like this. It could have gone much worse, if Kylo hadn’t shown up when he did. In fact, you can’t help but ask, “What are you even doing here?”

“I told you, helping.” Kylo smiles and kisses you again, “You’re my agent, no one else gets to kill you but me.”

The sentiment makes you chuckle against his lips, and he grins, his endearingly crooked teeth biting into his lower lip.

“How romantic.” You roll your eyes, before your curiosity gets to the better of you and you can’t help but ask, “How did you find me?”

Kylo looks at you and tenderly puts a hand on your cheek, his thumb rubbing against your lower lip ever so slightly. He looks at you like you put the stars in the sky, because to him, you do. He’s told you as much, on those many instances where he whisks you away to some beautiful tropical island to give you a break from the headache of work.

“The same way I always find you, and the same way I will always find you.” He breathes.

“There’s a tracker in my car, isn’t there.” You suck across your teeth and ne nods at once.

“And in your shoe, and in your gun, and in your lipstick.” He reaches into your shirt where he knows you have a tube of your favorite color tucked securely into your bra. He snatches it and pops open the cap, showing a small homing beacon. “I know you never go anywhere without your lipstick.”

“I hate you.” You laugh, incredulous at the way he’s so…so…Kylo.

“You’re welcome.” He kisses you once again.

You go to reach for him once again, wanting to get your fingers in his silky smooth hair, when you realize you’re still chained up.

“Kylo?” You ask against his mouth, and he hums, his eyes closed as he kisses at the corner of your lips.

“Yes, Agent?”

“Aren’t you going to free me?” You ask, and he pulls back with a blink, realizing that he never actually undid the bondage that is keeping you here. Not that you’d go anywhere, now that he’s here, you’d stay with him, you both know it.

Still, he gets this look in his eye that makes you groan, because you know you’re really in for it now.

“Hmmm, no. No, I don’t think I will, not yet anyway.” He chews on the inside of his cheek and calls to his henchmen again, “Leave us. Wait in the chopper until we come out.”

You can see behind him that the henchmen do as they’re told, and you wonder if they must have killed everyone else who was already here, already working for the man who captured you.

Kylo waits until they’re out of view, before turning back to you and smoothing his hands up your body. He likes this, likes feeling you, even over your garments. Something about it reinforcing the fact that you’re real, that you’re here with him. Or, you suppose, that he’s here with you.

“I like this place, I might just absorb it now that Mr. Monocle down there won’t be needing it anymore.” Kylo regards the volcano with interest as his hands skim across your stomach, your sides. “What do you say, would you have dinner with me tonight? It’s very atmospheric.”

He’s got a point, the place really could be beautiful if outfitted nicely. You remember snooping through the less actively dangerous spaces, all the banquet halls and the residential rooms. There was something to be said for having a nice lair, you thought – not that Kylo didn’t have enough as it were.

“I don’t know why you bother asking, when you know the answer is always going to be yes.” You say truthfully.

“Because I like to hear you say it.” Kylo’s nose brushes against yours, his eyes slipping closed as his hands reach around you and hug you tight. You wish you could hug him back, but you know he’ll free you soon. He kisses the corner of your mouth, your cheek, your jaw, “Have dinner with me. I’ve brought you something to wear and everything.”

Of course he did, he knows you too well. Although, you can’t help but let out a huff of laughter at the thought of eating dinner with him in his finest tuxedo, and you still wearing your all-black spy ensemble.

“Yes.” You breathe, trying your best to push your body against his more fully.

“Yes?” He repeats, although this time, you know what he’s really asking. One of his hands slip back around to your front, and his fingers just barely tease at the waistband of your tight pants.

“Yes, Kylo, please.” Your heart beats loudly, you wonder if he can hear it.

He grins, and with deft fingers, he pops open the button of your pants and slides his big palm underneath the cotton of your panties and against the heat of your pussy. He hums out happily to see that you’re wet for him, because of course you are, you were wet the moment he killed that sonofabitch who had chained you up.

Two of Kylo’s fingers work their way into you slowly, savoring the feeling of your walls clenching and squeezing around him. You lean your head back against the steel post, and Kylo corrals one of your legs around his hip so he can get a better angle to finger you more easily.

“Kylo…” You gasp as he kisses you.

The kiss is slow, unhurried, just as his fingers are. He strokes against your walls, his rough thumb coming to rub and stroke and push at your clit. You can only think of the pleasure you feel, although somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re reminded of those lazy island afternoons where he eats you out for hours on end, and can only imagine that that’s what’s in store for you after dinner.

“You’re safe with me.” Kylo whispers, and you nod, because you know it’s true. You know he’d never hurt you, no matter how much he was supposed to.

A third finger joins his other two, and you moan, the sound echoing into the magma. It swallows your voice up, the way your pussy swallows his fingers, and your hips begin to grind down on his palm, seeking more friction than he’s willing to give you. You find that you like being restrained like this – you would only like it with Kylo, but still. Still, the thrill of the situation, of trusting him so completely as he pleasures you, it makes sparks tingle up your spine.

He smiles, and if you were to open your eyes you’d see him nearly cross-eyed looking at you as he speeds his hand up. You’re sweating, you’ve been sweating because of the heat from the volcano but now you’re sweating because of him, and your moans grow louder and louder.

“Kylo I’m – faster, I’m close.” Your mouth drops open into a pretty O as he does as he’s told, shoving his body as close to you as possible, fingers crooking inside your cunt to search for your gspot.

It’s hard with this angle, hard with all your clothing, but when your body writhes and pulls at its restraints harder, he knows he’s found it. He moves faster faster faster until your entire body shakes and curls in towards him, a sharp gasp as your eyes fly open and you blink rapidly, pleasure swimming through your veins.

“I missed you.” You say softly, vulnerable as your orgasm sings through you, as he kisses and licks up the sweat on your throat.

“I missed you more.” He fingers you still, milks your orgasm for all that he can, and stars and spots and fireworks pop gently behind your eyelids. It’s not earth-shattering, but it’s with Kylo, and that’s enough to make you gush on his fingers, enough to make you dizzy.

“Not everything has to be a competition.” You quirk a brow, turning your face to capture his lips once more, obsessed with the way they feel against yours. Your mouth tingles, lips swollen and plump from all his attention, and he smiles.

“Yes it does.” He’s too much, cheeky, you love him.

You’ll never say it, but you love him.

“Thank you, for saving me.” You say instead.

He can hear the words anyway, you know he can.

Kylo pulls his hand away from your pussy and sucks his fingers into his mouth, licking the taste of you off of him, cleaning himself up and humming with satisfaction around the digits that were just buried inside your cunt.

“Always. I meant what I said, you’re my agent.” He winks at you.

And you know that another time, you’ll be shooting at one another. You’ll be dodging the traps he sets for you and he’ll be dodging your bullets. He’ll have his henchmen and you’ll have backup, and you’ll be back at each other’s throats, nothing more than 007 and Mr. Ren, nothing more than spy and villain, rivals, enemies.

But…

But it’s starting to become less and less real, this rivalry. It’s starting to become more and more performative, while you plan, while you plot. Keeping up the façade while you buy yourselves some time. Because you know, you both know you’ll join him one day. You’ll join him and you’ll never again have to wake up without him beside you like you have been doing these lonely months.

He unties you, a simple press of a button just out of reach on the bindings, and all of them pop open with a hiss. You smile, and massage your shoulders, roll the joints there to wake them up. Kylo offers his arm to you, and you take it, looking up at him with a smile as you ask,

“What’s for dinner?”

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren/reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren/you #adam driver character #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren smut #james bond AU #bond villain kylo #007 reader #my writing #adam driver fanfiction #kinktober 2020

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misc-headcanons · 4 years

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can i get some headcanons of the vinsmoke siblings finding out their s/o is pregnant?? thank youuuu

Reiju

She'd be excited, but also worried. The thought of being a mother along with her s/o is indescribable, and for the first time in a very long time she feels a swell of happiness thinking about her family.

But then...she thinks about the rest of her family. Would her father want to use his grandchild as a test subject like his children? Would her s/o and her child be safe around her brothers? They're emotionless and use violence and intimidation to solve most of their problems; what if they got annoyed by their niece/nephew crying, or if they bullied her pregnant s/o just for fun?

She'd have a long talk with her s/o and make a plan to run away for good if Judge does end up wanting to "modify" her child, and she tells her s/o to come to her immediately if they start to feel unsafe around her brothers. She'll do what she can to hide her anger and bide her time if that happens, but she'll have no doubt in her mind that she'd leave them behind for good if it meant her s/o and her child would be safe and happy.

Ichiji

Immediately goes to brag to Judge and his siblings that he's going to be a dad. Probably tries to use it as an excuse to get something like a "promotion" or rewards from his dad, though as the eldest brother and #1 in Germa 66 he really can't get any higher up in the chain as long as Judge is in power.

He likes the idea of a little version of him walking around, and he has the royal tailors make an outfit for his unborn son that's basically "Baby's First Raid Suit". He even has a pair of red-tinted sunglasses made for them so they can match!

Insists on carrying his pregnant s/o everywhere, and is more protective of them, but he says he isn't doing it out of a sense of kindness on his s/o's behalf--it's more about "protecting his property" in a way, since they're "his" AND they have his kid in their body. What can I say, the Vinsmoke brothers aren't very sympathetic. Or caring. Or healthy partners. And even if he did genuinely care for them, he sure as fuck isn't going to tell them that and risk feeling like he's going soft or is weak for having emotions.

Niji

He's the least "emotional" about it, at least on the outside. He'll brag to Judge and hold it over the others that he made an heir first, but apart from that he doesn't show much attachment to the actual kid in question--at first.

He'd spoil his s/o to "congratulate" them for giving him an heir, and he's as protective and possessive as Ichiji is. He's more openly affectionate though, and will be more willing to do things to make his s/o feel better (even if it's something he doesn't want to be inconvenienced by, like escorting them somewhere or massaging them, he'll still have the servants do that for him)

It doesn't really hit him that he's going to be a father until he feels the baby kick for the first time. And for someone who isn't used to feeling emotions, that little spark of realization...freaks him the FUCK out. He doesn't like feeling like this, so unsure and nervous and heavy in his chest and vulnerable. He keeps wondering why he cares so much about something, despite being modified to not feel shit like that.

He might even ask Judge to modify his brain a bit to get rid of whatever was going on to make him feel this way, but I think Judge would say it's not needed (he's a huge piece of shit and unsympathetic as hell, but Judge doesn't think there's anything wrong with being pleased at the fact you're going to have a child--Niji's giving the best nation in the world an heir, and has pleased his father! Of course he should feel pleasure from that, as much as his brain allows him to feel things).

Sanji

When he hears the news, he's so shocked at first that he just stares up at his s/o. And then...the crying starts--happy tears, don't worry! This is the happiest he's ever been, actually. He's going to have a child with the person he loves. They're going to be parents.. He's going to be a father.

Will wait on them hand and foot to make sure their pregnancy is as comfortable as possible. If ____ thought he was a servant of love before, holy SHIT does he kick it up a notch while they're pregnant. Making all sorts of meals to satisfy even the strangest cravings (making safe-to-eat substitutes if they're craving something like pancake batter or coffee, etc.), drawing them bubble baths and washing them every night, setting all their medical appointments with Chopper and insisting on carrying them to the clinic...____ is treated like a deity now instead of simply royalty like before, lol. He talks to their baby every day through ____'s tummy, telling them about how he can't wait to see them when they're born and how much he loves them, and will even talk about his day (referring to his nakama as the baby's "aunties" and "uncles"...even Zoro, though he's called "Uncle Marimo" or "your dumbass swordsman Uncle")

When he first feels his child kick, he tears up. When he sees them on a sonogram, he tears up. He's a lot more emotional throughout the pregnancy, just because he's so excited and in love and HAPPY. There's so much in his heart that it feels physically heavy sometimes, to be honest.

Also his ideal name for the baby, regardless of gender, would be Sora 🥲

Yonji

The kind of asshole who would make a rude joke about it. ("Ohhh, I was wondering why you looked a little heavier. What, you're not already super emotional, are ya? It was a joke!")

He's also smug about being the first of his siblings to produce an heir/addition to the royal family, since he knows Judge is going to reward him for it. And he is SO going to hold that over his brothers' heads. They give him shit about being the youngest and thus the"weakest" sometimes (whenever Sanji isn't around), but guess what assholes, I'M the one who made an heir first--Suck it, I'VE got a baby!

Is constantly asking when it's going to be born. No matter how many times his s/o tells him the projected due date, he'll ask almost every day: "When's it gonna pop out?" He refers to his kid as "it" until his s/o or Reiju points out that you probably shouldn't refer to your fucking child as an "it", but he will quit it if it bothers his sister and his s/o that much.

Is constantly talking about the stuff he wants to do with his kid when they're born, even if babies can't...you know, do stuff in general. He's kind of a disaster when it comes to childcare and caring for his pregnant s/o, but he's easily the most enthusiastic and genuinely happy (can he feel happiness? Eh fuck it, "the closest he can feel to happiness") compared to Ichiji and Niji.

#one piece #one piece headcanon #one piece headcanons #vinsmoke siblings #vinsmoke brothers #reiju #yonji #sanji #niji #ichiji #tw: pregnancy #mine

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shifting-lark · 3 years

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Cast Your Mutuals: but make it One Piece!!!!

Note: I understand many people on here don’t watch the show, so I’ll be describing each character so you can get to know them! Also, this is just based off the general vibes you give off to me personally. Enjoy!!

@lil-shifting-shit as Nami! - Nami is the navigator for the crew! She’s the glue that keeps everyone together and makes sure they aren’t getting lost. She is a strong independent woman and knows exactly what she wants when she wants it and won’t take no for an answer! She’s has such a challenging past but it’s made her who she is today. She loves her crewmates/friends with her whole heart and would risk anything to save them. She’s also ALWAYS fashionable and we stan her outfits!

@tombshifting as Brook! - (Yes Brook is a skeleton. Kinda fits with the Tomb name lol) Brook is the musician on the ship! But mainly he’s the comic relief. He always cracks a joke whenever the crew is down and will play music to boost their spirits. He was stranded and alone for like YEARS, and when he came to the Straw Hat crew he immediately treated all of them as family. He loves sipping his cup of tea and laughing at the hijinks that happens on the ship! Overall just a very nice person who looks scary but couldn’t be more harmless.

@l0ttadreamz as Luffy! - Luffy is the captain! That’s right, Luffy’s main goal is to be The Pirate King and his crew is one of the best around. Luffy has a very outgoing personality and basically always talks in caps (HAHAHAHAHA I had to sorry) He is a born leader and even though he’s a little crazy (crackhead energy), he would do anything to help a friend. He’s always smiling, he’s always eating, and he’s always being a goof. He drives the crew crazy sometimes, but overall without him, they wouldn’t be where they are today.

@shiftingshiftingshifting as Robin! - Robin is the architect! (yes they have an architect on a pirate ship HAHAH one piece is weird) She is one of the calmer crew members and will sit back and observe rather then jump into the hijinks. She is INCREDIBLY smart, beautiful, and talented! She actually started as a villain but had a redemption arch and now is way happier as a Straw Hat Pirate! She can be a bit quiet at times and keeps to herself, but once you get to know her she’s super sweet and loves her friends with her whole heart.

@poppythewitcher as Sanji! - Sanji is the chef on the ship! He loves to cook food for his crewmates and will never let anyone go hungry. He is laid back and tends to just observe the chaos going on about the ship. Whenever he does speak up, it’s something important and well thought out. The crew admire him as one of the strongest members (Luffy and Zoro are equally as strong as him), yet he’s never intimidating to the “weaker” crewmembers. He may be a stubborn idiot every now and then (he picks fights with Zoro all the time cause he has to be the “most macho” man on the ship lol) but overall he has a heart of gold and is truly the kindest person.

@peachshifting as Chopper! - Chopper is the doctor on the ship! He helps his friends whenever they’re in need and he’s always laughing at something silly going on. He’s youngest on the crew and he is just so smoll and adorable!! His favorite color is pink and he loves cotton candy and other goodies!! He is truly the child of the crew and will usually ride on someone’s shoulders if they’re walking around an island. (he’s one of my fave crewmembers dont tell the others lol and yes he is a reindeer don’t judge him)

(( Hope you guys enjoyed that sorry if I totally got you wrong. I did my best D: ))

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doctorgerth · 4 years

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One Piece of Summer (Heat ZoroxReader)

(I apologize if I did this wrong! First time submitting to things lol)

Hiiii!

I’m new on the One Piece fanfic scene but I had a ton of fun writing this first little story for the One Piece of Summer Writing Challenge! (also please forgive me if there’s multiple submissions i’m returning to tumblr after like an 8 year hiatus lol) (also also i’m sorry i’m verbose i hope this isn’t too long)

Warnings: some language

Word Count: 3628

Word Prompt: Heat

You can hardly believe that it’d been two whole years since the crew had been together. Two years. Holy shit. You feel a lump in your throat as you approach Shakky’s place. You have no idea who, if anyone, had already arrived. Your heart races excitedly at the thought and a small smile creeps over your features. You make yourself sit on a nearby bench and breathe before you hike the last flight of stairs to the bar. It’s a hot day, impossibly hot and you sit and take a sip of water from your hip flask. The cool liquid pours down your throat and you sigh happily as you wonder what the very near future would hold.

Would it be Franky? You imagine the blue-haired madman, and laugh. Maybe he’d found another way to fuel his cyborg frame other than cola. You laugh again.

Who am I kidding? You think to yourself. The reason he runs on cola is because he wants to run on cola.

Or maybe it would be Usopp or Chopper? The last time you saw Chopper, it had been so frightening. He was vast and out of control from using those rumble balls. A shudder runs up your spine at the thought, but you push the thought away shaking your head. Your h/c hair ruffles at the motion, and you push a strand out of your face as you stare at the ground beneath your boots. Usopp, you are sure, will be one of the early ones, not wanting to be one-upped. You roll your eyes, your mind’s ear imagining him shouting, “Well, of course I’m here first! I’m the great captain Usopp!”

You already know what Brook–you mean “Soul King” had been up to. You laugh. You had to admit that his stuff was pretty catchy, and you wonder if he’d even want to come back to the pirate life after all that fame and fortune. It had been nice over the last two years to follow him in the papers whenever you could; a small link to your old life had been comforting and familiar.

Nami and Robin were almost certainly already here–Nami, probably off conning some shop owner into giving their store away half-price, and Robin wandering around looking at architecture, reading a book, or saying weirdly cryptic lines to passersby. You sigh fondly, reminiscing about the times the three ladies of the Strawhats spent together. Not having had many female friends to speak of before the Strawhats, it had been nice to have some badass women to bond with over the months before your separation. In your two years alone, you’d missed the companionship.

Maybe Sanji is at Shakky’s already, cooking up some delicious concoction for you to devour. Your stomach grumbles on cue, and your mouth waters thinking about it. If Luffy was already here, then any food would be gone twice over. Of all the changes that are sure to have occurred, your captain’s appetite is the least likely to change. You can only imagine what power he has achieved in the last two years. Your stomach sinks a bit thinking about when you learned of Ace’s death in the Paramount War. The pain Luffy must have endured. Alone. But, he was not one to dwell, and wouldn’t want you to either.

So you don’t. You’re strong–much stronger than you were the last time the crew saw you. You’re not the same girl that you were two years ago. No, not even close. You’re taller, with broader shoulders and hips. While you were once slender due to malnutrition, you are now toned and muscled after two years of hard training. You felt vitality that you once never thought you’d feel coursing through your muscles. Your top, frayed at the hem, falls to just above your naval and drapes over one shoulder, leaving the other uncovered. Your s/c flesh is exposed to the waistband of your khaki shorts. The leather of your boots is soft and worn, the same pair you’d been wearing when you were launched away from your crew by Kuma. The holster dangling from your waist carried some of your throwing knives, which you twiddle absently at your side in nervousness. You had become adept at hand to hand combat since the crew saw you last. You are nimble, fast and lethal. You smirk and let the confidence roll over your body. You can’t wait to see how skilled everyone else had become.

You flex and stretch, standing up from the bench and begin your ascent up the stairs. They groan under your weight and you shift the bag on your shoulder, securing it more tightly against your body. You feel your heart beginning to race again at the thought of the final crew member. You can only imagine how strong he’d become.

Zoro.

You think of his green hair, and his white shirt, the top buttons always haphazardly undone. His slim black pants and boots, the sound of his earrings jangling in the sea breeze. You see his tight, intense gaze and that smirk that always weakened your knees. The knot in your stomach tangles more at the thought as you crest the top of the stairs. You recall the days that you sat in the Crow’s Nest together as he worked out. He never paid you much attention, but simply tolerating your presence in his sacred space made you feel important.

You feel the heat rise to your face and you can’t tell if it’s because of the sweltering sun of the Archipelago or the indecent thoughts that have begun to flood your mind. You take a deep breath as you nearly reach the doorway of Shakky’s place, when you stop in your tracks at the silhouette in the doorway. The sun is bright, so you can’t make out who it is right away, but as the figure takes a step, there’s no mistaking that green head of hair.

“Well,” You hear Shakky’s voice from inside the bar.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d be the first,” You hear Rayleigh’s voice chime in.

The greenette stays silent for a moment and then replies, “Oh yeah? Nobody else has shown up.” He pauses. “Well damn, guess they got lost.”

You can hear the smirk in his voice. It’s unmistakable.

Before you can stop yourself, you call out to him. “Zoro!” You immediately flush, but you know this time it’s not from the heat.

You see Zoro stiffen at your voice, but he quickly turns around and meets your gaze with his own.

Christ…

You immediately notice that your eyes only meet one of his, a scar running from forehead to cheekbone on the left side of his face, his eye tightly shut. It makes him look even more ruggedly attractive, if at all possible, and you allow yourself to stare for a moment. His jaw, still angular and chiseled, is formed into a lazy half-smirk. Your e/c eyes trail down from his jaw to his throat and his collarbone, a body part you became intimately familiar with when you’d spent long moments staring at it over the top of his unbuttoned shirt, wondering what it would be like to nuzzle your face into its contours.

A part you are not used to seeing so casually, was the rest of his broad chest, which is exposed under the deep green coat he was wearing, the trademark Mihawk scar that ran from shoulder to hip still proudly displayed. You are glad to see that his haramaki remained unchanged over the last two years along with the three swords he carries at his side. He shifts his weight to his left side and leans his forearm on the hilt of his swords.

“Y/n!” He replies with a broad grin of recognition. He jogs toward you, and you find yourself moving towards him too.

Zoro is stunned to see you. In all honesty, he is stunned to know that he’s the first to arrive in the first place. Although, he did leave several weeks prior. Just in case.

You are…so different. His eyes move across your body, and he coughs, a slight flush spreading across his cheeks. He grits his teeth frustratedly.

Shit…get it together. He thinks to himself.

“I can’t believe we’re the first ones here!” You say, before pausing. “Actually…how the hell are you the first one here??”

You laugh and he manages to chuckle too. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He jokes.

“Shakky and Raleigh inside?” You ask, jabbing your thumb towards the open door to the bar.

Zoro nods, rubbing a calloused hand at the nape of his neck. “Yep, they’re in there. Waiting like the old gossips they are.” He laughs quietly, shaking his head.

You can’t help but watch his arm move behind his head. His worn bandana is tied around his bicep over the top of his coat, and you can’t help but imagine how his tanned skin stretches over the muscle there. You realize, too late, that you had been silent for a beat too long.

“Y/n? You good?” He asks, raising a brow.

Your attention snaps back like a rubber band and you laugh nervously. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, sorry. Just can’t believe how long it’s been.” You say lamely.

You walk into the bar, Zoro trailing behind you and you greet Shakky and Rayleigh with a wide grin. Shakky compliments your new look, making you spin around as if to show off your outfit. You can’t help but feel confident and a surge of pride wells within you. She pours you a drink, having already poured one for Zoro, and invites you to sit down at a far booth. You sit next to Rayleigh, playfully bumping him and he wraps an arm around your shoulder. He gives you an affectionate squeeze as he tells you how pleased he is to see you guys again. Zoro takes a seat at the far corner of a booth. He props his feet up and takes a long drag of sake straight from the bottle. He’d already finished the drink that was poured, naturally, and stopped Shakky before she could pour him another. He asked for the bottle, shrugging and said that we should just “cut out the middleman.”

You regale the three others in your tales of the last two years. You speak about your Master, your training, the island you’d resided on, everything. Shakky gives updates too, about some of the rumors that had been floating around in the Strawhats’ absence, particularly about Luffy and Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro. Shakky, never one to be subtle, asks Zoro pointblank about what he’d been up to.

“Eh, not too much excitement,” He says vaguely. “The usual. Swords, drinking, naps.” Shakky rolls her eyes, unsatisfied, but you just laugh, knowing that he was not one to talk too much about himself.

After a long while, the four of you notice that the sun has begun to set. You are beginning to feel the drinks you’d consumed, your laughter a bit louder, your tongue a bit looser, your hair a bit wilder. The bar is illuminated in deep orange and red hues and you glance over at Zoro. Half of his face is cast in shadow, while the other half colored the same tint as the room. It looks almost as if he is on fire and you are mesmerized by him. He’s staring at you intently. You see beads of sweat along his hairline, and you notice that he has removed his outer coat.

“Damn Shakky,” He breathes, not breaking eye contact with you. “I don’t remember it being this hot two years ago.”

Shakky laughs. “Well, we’re going through a bit of a heatwave right now. It’s unusual for this time of year, but occasionally the weather currents bring a front in. It’s supposed to be like this for the next few days.”

His knees are propped up and he rests his forearms on top of them as he breaks your gaze and looks out the window. HIs profile is immaculate, and your eyes trace each feature–his straight nose, his angled jaw, and his full lips. Your lips subconsciously part, and it isn’t until you feel your tongue on them that you notice how you’re staring. Shakky, however, has noticed how the two of you have been trading stares at each other the entire evening. She smirks and stands with a yawn.

“Well Rayleigh,” She starts. “It seems likes it’s about time to close up shop for the evening. You good?”

Rayleigh looks confused at first, however, when Shakky gestures quickly to you and Roronoa, Rayleigh nods knowingly. He looks down at his nearly full drink and smiles. He tips his head back and swigs down the rest, placing the empty glass resolutely on the hard wood. “You know what, Shakky? You’re absolutely right. These old bones can’t drink like they used to. I’m headed down to my place at the docks. It’s cooler there anyway.” He stands up and bids the room farewell. The doorbell jingles behind him as he exits the bar.

You get the feeling that they��d been watching you and Zoro, and you feel embarrassed. But you don’t want to complain. You just hope that Zoro wouldn’t be ready to turn in yet either.

Shakky approaches Zoro and gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Night, Roronoa. If you get lonely, my room is always open.” She winks at him, entertained by how he squirms at the unexpected contact.

“Uh, yeah, sure…” He mutters, flustered. Shakky laughs.

“Shit Roronoa, just relax. I’m only kidding.” She walks over to a door behind the bar, presumably that led to her sleeping quarters, and opens it. “Or am I?” She grins slyly.

This time, Zoro knows better. The greenette shakes his head with a chuckle. “Goodnight, Shakky.”

She, too, disappears. The door closes behind her with a soft click, and the two of you are left alone. The sun has finally set beneath the mangroves and the sound of crickets fills the room. Despite the sun having set, the room is humid and very warm.

You reach a slender hand up and wipe beads of condensation off the back of your neck with a nervous sigh. “You’re right, Zoro,” You say after a moment. “It is absolutely stifling in here.”

He hums in agreement and holds up the bottle of sake questioningly. You nod and he tosses the closed bottle to you. However, his toss is a little short and to the left. But you’re fast and you catch it without a problem, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Aim much?” You joke as you pour yourself another drink before tossing it back to him.

He catches it easily and smirks. “Well, just checking to see if all that training you were going on about actually paid off.” He takes a swig. “Seems like it did.”

You were unbelievable. Zoro marvels at your agility. He had been enthralled as you told your story of the last two years. He watched the way your eyes lit up in excitement at certain parts or when your tone shifted to something more sinister. This was the y/n he’d always known–vibrant, curious and powerful. Zoro has always admired your tenacity. It was something of himself that he saw in you. He admired your intelligence as well, and your quick wit. It had always been a little intimidating, but now you were a force. It overwhelmed the swordsman. And thrilled him in the same way a new enemy excited him, got his adrenaline pumping and his heart racing.

He watches as you take a sip of your drink. His gaze follows the long line of your neck down to your collarbone, which he finds himself lingering on for longer than what was appropriate between nakama. You had always been objectively attractive, but Zoro never really paid attention to things like that. But now, you made that impossible to ignore. He is very attracted to you, entranced by your confident aura that pours off of you like cool sake.

The alcohol warms your blood and before you know what you’re doing, you prop your elbow on the table and say, “Seems like your training paid off too. I mean, look at you. All extra-muscley and shit.”

Zoro’s eyes widen slightly before he laughs out loud. “Thank you? I think.”

The liquid courage you’ve consumed does little for your filter (or your shame) so you continue. “I remember when I used to hang out in the Crow’s nest while you worked out. You were strong then, obviously. But it’s different now. You seem…invincible.” You breathe.

Zoro takes a moment to consider. “Invincible, huh?” He chuckles. “Hardly.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, but don’t reply.

Zoro stands up, his coat remaining in his seat. Your eyes follow the contour of his chest and he notices you watching him. He loves knowing that you look at him the same way that he looks at you.

“Come on,” He says after a moment, holding out his free hand, the other still holding the bottle of sake.

You take it without thinking. “Where are we going?” His hand is rough and cool to the touch, despite the heat in the room. He’s never held your hand before now. His good eye lands on you with a smirk that turns the knot low in your stomach.

“Up,” He replies in a whisper.

You nod wordlessly and stand up, trailing behind him as he walks towards the back door of the bar. When you exit, you sigh happily when a cool breeze flows along your damp skin. He echoes the sentiment with a contented hum, and continues towards the side of the building where he finds a ladder.

“Ladies first,” He grins, gesturing for you to climb the ladder up to the roof of the bar.

You raise an eyebrow, but comply nonetheless. As you climb, you make sure to move your hips more exaggeratedly, knowing the view you were providing him.

He knows exactly what he’s doing, of course, and admires your ass as you climb the ladder. You really are something. He wants to do more than just hold your hand. He wants to trail his hands along your curves, feel your strong body against the planes of his chest. He wants to know what your lips taste like, what your h/c hair feels like entangled in his fingers. But he knows that he needs to take it slow for both of your sake. It’s been two years. A lot has changed, and you are still his nakama first and foremost. There’s nothing that he would sacrifice to keep that.

The ladder is taller than you think it is by looking at it and when you arrive at the top of the bar, you are surprised to find an expansive platform.

“Wow,” You look open-mouthed. “How’d you know this was up here?” You look to Zoro who hops up onto the platform.

He shrugs. “I didn’t. I just saw the ladder earlier and figured it would be worth exploring.”

He walks up behind you in all of his shirtless beauty and sits, his legs apart as he leans back on his forearms. You’re still standing, looking up at the vast mangroves all around you, the stars peeking through the tree-tops. He lets you admire the scenery because it gives him a few moments to admire you. He clears his throat to get your attention and pulls you down to him.

With a light gasp, you find yourself sitting between his legs, your back against his chest and his arms wrapped around you. You are blushing furiously now. He hums contentedly, moving to nuzzle your hair and inhale your clean scent.

“What are you doing?” You manage to croak out.

“Enjoying the company,” He murmurs into the side of your neck.

You feel his heart beating swiftly against your back as you lean into him with a deep sigh. Your brain wants to overcomplicate this.

What does this mean? What does he want? Does he feel the same way about me that I feel about him? Does he…you gulp. Does he…want me, the way that I want him?

He feels you stiffen. “Y/n, hey,” He says. “It’s okay. This doesn’t have to mean anything that we don’t want it to mean.”

It seems like mind-reading is on the roster of new super powers he’s acquired. You grumble internally.

He laughs, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear before he moves away. You whimper softly at the loss of contact, and turn to face him with a confused look. Though he did shift backwards, he didn’t move all that far away from you, so you’re surprised that you’re nearly face to face when you turn around.

He gently touches his thumb to your parted lips. “We’ve got time, y/n. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. So let’s just take the time and figure it out.” He smiles.

You feel your heart swell in your chest as you meet his intense stare. “Y-yeah, o-okay.” You stutter, still not quite believing that Roronoa Zoro has anything he wants to figure out with you. Your reverie is interrupted by Zoro’s gentle kiss. It’s a kiss that foreshadows what else could come of it, one that’s slow and burning and brimming with possibilities. He pulls away with a shudder.

“We’ve got time.” He says again, seeming to convince himself with the second iteration. “Besides,” He pulls back fully this time, taking in your lovely face before he smirks. “It’s too damn hot to be this close right now anyway.”

@laws-yellow-submarine

WOW WOW WOW this is absolutely amazing, my darling!!!! I was totally enthralled the entire time and was really hoping it wouldn’t end any time soon! And you painted the scenes so beautifully, it felt like I was actually in the story!! All the characters are so well written and gah I didn’t think it was possible to fall more in love with Zoro but damnnn this story had me swooning for the swordsman 🥰

I really really enjoyed this and I’m honestly so glad you took part in this little challenge! Could I add this wonderful story to the masterlist? 💕

#one piece of summer #summer writing challenge #heat #roronoa zoro #zoro #zoro x reader #female reader #submission #deathlikesdeep-dish

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deafblindshorty · 4 years

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SWRES Episode Recap: 2x11- Station to Station

Woo-hoo! Last episode before TROS!

We start the episode off with Rucklin complaining about his job.

Hey, those cables look like the ones that were attached to the TIE Poe and Finn escaped in in TFA.

The Titan, huh? Do the First Order/Empire name their stations after giant mythological creatures to sound intimidating?

Wow, suddenly Kaz appeared in disguise and Tam immediately recognizes him!

Apparently, Kaz and Neeku are on a supply run again. Where did they get those technician outfits? And wow, they painted CB-23 like the Rebels painted Chopper! Sabine would either be really proud of them or have a coronary from their shoddy paint job.

General Hugs! And Kaz appears to recognize him from the holofeed of his TFA speech from weeks ago and for a few seconds. Guess my headcanon that Kaz has recurring nightmares of that cataclysm is true!

Hm. Kaz seemed to have his emotions in check until Hux said “destroyed”. What was he going to say? “Like you destroyed the Hosnian System? That was my home planet, you sleemo!” But he regained composure, and it’s a good thing he did, ‘cause Pyre showed up!

So, instead of rebuilding the FO and getting more ships and weapons, Supreme Leader Ren is dedicating the last year of his life (hopefully) to hunting down Sith artifacts and tracking down refueling stations. Meanwhile, his mother is rebuilding the Resistance and gaining new ships and weapons. I wonder who wins! [/sarcasm]

Wait, new intel? Does that mean there’s still a FO spy on the Colossus? It can’t be the pirates, since they denounced the FO. Maybe it’s Neena?

Are those K-2 units?!

Aww, Tam misses the Colossus!

Ukeen? LOL That’s Neeku, backwards! Not very creative, Kaz.

Dammit, Kaz, you should have shot Rucklin as soon as you saw him! He wasn’t armed!

Hah. Tam let Kaz and Neeku go and pointed the troopers in the wrong direction! Maybe there is some good in her after all.

Nice shooting, Kaz! You’re getting better at this!

They barely make it to the shuttle and out of the hangar! I kind of wish Kaz got a little retribution for Hosnian Prime, but, oh well.

“There goes your promotion, Commander.”

LOL He wouldn’t have been promoted to Commander, anyway. He’d be a Leiutenant at the very least. Pretty sure Rucklin is going to die by season’s end, but, it’d be cool if we got a discount Terex vs Poe in Rucklin and Kaz.

#star wars resistance

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onepiecefeatstuff · 5 years

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I want to see you | Sanami week 2019

Since Sanji refused to use his Germa suit, everyone had been asking him to put it on. Some only wanted to make him feel ridiculous, like Zoro. Others wanted to see exactly what it could do and how it worked. Luffy and Chopper mainly wanted to see him transform into a coloured warrior like his brothers and sister. And Nami… Truth be told, Sanji didn’t know how Nami felt about the suit.

Of course, she had shown the typical curiosity of a cat and had strongly placed herself in favour of the technological advantages it could offer. However, she never addressed the suit properly, not even after he had to use it on Wano. That’s why it came as such a shock to him when she asked him to try it on on a Wednesday morning.

“What?” he asked, so sure that he must have misunderstood her.

They were both in the kitchen, and nobody was there yet. Robin had stayed up late reading, and Nami had left her sleep a little more. When she arrived to the kitchen, she found the earliest bird in the morning there. Sanji was always the last person to leave and to enter the kitchen, and watching him prepare breakfast while drinking a glass of water had become a part of Nami’s morning routine. He didn’t mind, of course. He was pleased to spend more time with her in any context. But when she came up with that question out of nothing, he had to question all the life choices he made that led him to that moment.

“I asked if you could show me your Germa suit. Do you need me to speak louder?”

He could tell she was joking, but it wasn’t funny to him. He just wanted to know why she had come with such an idea so early in the morning. So he asked her in return.

“I… I don’t know, really. I just had a very vivid dream where you were wearing really strange clothes, so I wondered how the suit would look on you.”

It seemed valid. Still, not enough for him to wear that atrocity again. Not in front of people he knew and cared about. He wanted Nami to respect him.

“I won’t take any pictures, I promise!”

“I look ridiculous.”

“No you don’t. I’m sure.”

She was starting to get closer and closer to him, and Sanji gulped. He knew this was her trick to getting what she wanted, but this time he could not give it to her. It was beyond limits.

“You’ve seen my brothers’ attire. You can’t tell me it is elegant.”

“Well, no.” she laughed, too close to his neck for his liking. “But they didn’t look that bad, did they? I think one of them was actually…”

He didn’t like where the sentence was going, so he cut her off immediately: “Please, tell me you’re joking.”

She didn’t formulate a response, but her eye-roll was reassuring enough for him. He had been actually scared for a moment.

“Whatever. But I think it would be refreshing to see you wear something apart from black suits.”

“You can never go wrong with black.” He lived by that statement.

“So you’re a coward.” She said, much to Sanji’s confusion. “You are not willing to risk your precious sense of fashion for me.”

Sanji knew she understood that there was much more to that and that she was probably just trying to mess with his head as a way of entertainment, yet he could not help but slightly falling for it. What else could he do? He was only human.

And there she was, standing as close to him as he could ever have imagined, and giving him her best puppy eyes (he had seen them many times, yet they never shined so brightly). It was so unfair.

“Just once. And we’ll never mention it again.”

Nami jumped to hug him and her scent clouded his thoughts. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe it was even worth it. However, that did not last long.

He was standing in the bathroom floor, fully changed into that hideous outfit and regretting everything that led him to that point in life. Why did he have to agree? Why couldn’t he say no? He was such a loser.

“I want to see you” Nami sang, from the other side of the door.

With a sigh, he opened the door, expecting to hear laughter so loud that it would come to torture him for eternity. Instead, he heard nothing. Nami was blankly staring at him as if she couldn’t figure out what was going on. She looked at him, head to toe, and blinked twice before saying anything.

“Yeah, it’s terrible. Take it off.”

That was it? Sanji was as confused as he could be, but he did not risk the chance of her taking a picture of him, so he closed the door immediately and hoped to never speak of that again.

This is really short but I’ve been out all day and I almost forgot to post. Thank goodness I remembered. I’m trying my best to keep up with the writing schedule, but I wish I had more time to actually revise what I’m doing lol.

#sannami week #sanami week #sanji #nami #op fanfiction

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asexualzoro · 6 years

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list of reasons I find zoro ridiculous

after my similarly titled mihawk post took off I decided to make a zoro post, since he’s my second favorite character and also arguably the most ridiculous character in all of One Piece. here we go

- I know what you’re all thinking. i’m gonna open this list with how he wields three swords, right? no. no, Zoro has done so much ridiculous bullshit, this doesn’t even seem weird anymore. i don’t even bat my eye at this. this is nothing. now that i’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin

- this dude has like, an obsession with cutting off his own limbs? and MAYBE i can understand trying to cut his feet off when they were stuck in wax—you’re trying to save your friends, i get it—but what about when he was sword shopping in loguetown? who’s first response when buying a cursed sword and testing if it’s really cursed is “i’ll toss it in the air n see if I get amputated lol.” plus there’s that old filler where luffy gets his finger stuck in a bottle and, when he asks zoro for help getting it out, zoro tries to CUT IT OFF. im convinced he lost that left eye of his bc he got dust or something in it and then tried to stab it out

- there’s like, several occasions where Zoro has been directed to head up a staircase and gone some other direction. it happened in enies lobby and in dressrosa? like, what’s the dude got against stai—... oh, wait

- his reintroduction post timeskip. get on the wrong boat? just cut it in half! who even cares! how’d you even end up on the wrong boat? you had to walk towards that boat, which means looking at the boat. that boat looked nothing like the sunny, wouldn’t zoro have noticed that? he also has to make an effort to climb on, which means, you guessed it, looking at the boat! he probably sees the crew members, maybe even gets helped up by one or a few. how did he not at any point in time notice that wasn’t his boat?

- also when they landed on sabaody the first time and zoro was like “i’m gonna go take a walk!” and both Sanji and Usopp tried to stop him, talking to him like concerned parents of a troublemaking toddler, like “Zoro you can’t go out there you’ll get lost!” to which Zoro replies “yeah but the grottos are numbered, I can find my way back if I just remember the number!” and Sanji and Usopp are like “okay, solid logic, even YOURE not dumb enough to mess that up” and what does Zoro do? what does he fucking do?

- I want to emphasize he messes it up because a bubble covers the 4 in “Grotto 41” so he thinks it’s grotto 1. BUBBLES. ARE. TRANSPARENT

- “sorry, I don’t pray to god” fuckin edgelord

- Zoro’s epithet is “Pirate Hunter” and it’s super lame. he could’ve been “Demon of the East Blue” but they went with pirate hunter, even though he became a pirate. even Chopper’s is better than his lbr

- THERES A SCENE WHERE SANJI THREATENS TO PUT RAZOR BLADES IN ZOROS FOOD N ZOROS LIKE “do it u won’t” SO SANJI DOES AND ZORO JUST EATS THEM? ODA EVEN GOT ASKED ABOUT IT IN AN SBS AND CONFIRMED YES, ZORO DID IN FACT EAT RAZOR BLADES. THIS 2EDGY4U BITCH JUST. STRAIGHT UP. ATE RAZOR BLADES

- in film gold he wears that black jacket under the white one. mind you he had no way of knowing he would be trapped in gold by tesoro or that they’d all have a dramatic coordinated outfit change once he was free so what the fuck was he doing? why did he wear that? who wears two jackets for no reason?

- “if i’m gonna be a statue I want it to be in this pose” “i’m glad I struck a pose”

- remember when zoro fought mr. 1 in alabasta and mr. 1 dropped a stone building on him and he was just like “this is a rocky day” or smth equally awful? i hate him

- the tarzan yell in skypiea

- actually, the goggles too.

- didn’t he try to convince someone he was fighting they were sunglasses bc they had some blinding light-based attack? I feel like he did but I don’t remember skypiea well enough to be sure

- Zoro vs the bird in skypiea. spent a fair amount of the damn arc running around skypiea getting messed w by a bird (which, according to Luffy, was more evolved than Zoro bc it had developed a sense of direction. burned by ur own captain)

- when asked why Zoro was able to speak with a sword in his mouth, oda said “IT’S HIS HEART SPEAKING”

- that colorspread Zoro where he reads a book about weightlifting while balancing a weight on top

- when Zoro fights that masochist guy in film gold (I think his name was dice?) and said some cocky ass one liner after the guy fell unconscious that went something like “What's wrong? Didn't it feel good? Aren't you gonna scream in pleasure?" awful

- Zoro almost gets murdered by Mihawk and then, later that day, tries to take on fishmen underwater. others r like “you cannot handle this, you will literally die” and Zoro doesn’t even care bc Luffy is in trouble

- he was sailing bc he left home to find mihawk and then couldn’t figure out how to get back

- remember that filler where Zoro taught Luffy how to skate but then forgot to teach him how to turn. I love both that this happened and the implication that Zoro is a person who knows how to roller skate and therefore has spent time roller skating. Zoro roller skating backstory when?

- when Zoro was fighting oz, a 500 year old corpse, he licked his sword. now, on top of licking his sword being ridiculous as hell because, listen, there’s NOTHING cool about licking your sword. you just look like a loser. but a sword that just came out of a 500 year old corpse? really? i know it was preserved by the cold and all but there’s no way it didn’t rot at all. that’s a rotted, frozen corpse. Zoro what in the HELL were you thinking. I hope you get sick

- i’m sure it probably wasn’t even the first time he licked his sword in a fight but I will say with absolute confidence he looked like a loser every single time

- I feel like he licked his sword while facing mr 1 but I can’t remember. if he did, that’s honestly iconic. stare down a dude that’s made of swords while licking yours? power move. only decent time to kick your sword

- Zoro, joining Luffy: “if you stand in the way of my dream i’ll kill you!” Zoro, a day later: “of course i’ll carry my captain in this heavy cage on my back to safety. oh this gaping wound in my side? nothing. who cares about bleeding to death, my captain needs me!”

- all those big weights he’s got. all of them.

- especially that time he was lifting weights post thriller bark after barely surviving kuma, still heavily injuries, complaining about how weak he is. buddy...

- that time in drum island where he decided to train by going swimming in the freezing ice-country water, then when he got out he got lost in the snowy mountains until he wandered into a random battle and took out some guy just to steal his coat

- this isn’t the only time he steals some random dude’s coat

- the chimney.

- that filler in smiles lobby where he gets, like, abducted by a bunch of children for a day and integrated into their family?

- Roronoa Zoro went fursuiting in dressrosa and that’s a canon fact you all must acknowledge

- speaking of being a furry anyone remember mugiwara theater?

- THE FUCKING MUGIWARA THEATER NAMES. mugiwara theater is a gift, alright? here’s some: nakamura hanzorou. zobear. ZOROMILK

- I FORGOT TO MENTION. THAT TIME ZORO N USOPP WERE HANDCUFFED TOGETHER AND ZORO TRIED TO CONVINCE USOPP TO PLAY ROCK PAPER SCISSORS WITH HIM TO SEE WHICH ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE TO CUT THEIR HAND OFF

- also the fact that his logic was “it’ll be fine cuz chopper can just sew it back on”

- can we also talk abt how later that fight he uses Usopp as a sword because holy shit Zoro

- this isn’t technically zoro’s fault but the guy who sold him his sword to him in loguetown has a giant version of bounty image up above his bath, which........

- barto asked for zoro’s autograph and Zoro just wrote “sword”

- the grave of the rumbar pirates was finished right around when Zoro woke up from his coma post thriller bark and Zoro decided to walk over while Brook is sitting there mourning almost everyone he ever loved and just. plops his sword—an inanimate object—in the dirt by the grave of BROOKS ENTIRE CREW like “hey i’m gonna bury this here u don’t mind tho right? cool”

- he’s lucky Brook is such a cool dude cuz if I was mourning the death of MY crew and some fuck decided to plant a rusty sword there i’d just fuckin kill em

- in Zou they were talking abt whatever and Luffy mentioned how Sanji was as strong as one thousand men and Zoro, clearly jealous that Sanji got praised by Luffy, butt in with a stuttery objection on how HE was stronger than Sanji and worth TWO THOUSAND men, which luffy ignored, and Nami had to reassure him that yes, Zoro, we know you’re strong. toddler

- this is also not technically zoro’s fault but one time someone asked oda in an sbs which strawhats would eat ice in their drink and oda answered who would n wouldn’t (Luffy, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, and Robin would, if ur wondering). Zoro was on the wouldn’t list, and some fan sent oda a letter informing him of a panel where Zoro was shown eating ice to disprove this. someone pulled zoro ice eating receipts on oda and that’s a fact we all have to live with

- the first time Zoro meets mihawk—the strongest man in the world, the man he wants to defeat someday, and incredibly powerful and impressive dude—he cries like a baby

- zoro’s been crucified like 4 times now. once in his introduction than in three movies (6, gold, nebulandia). idk why this keeps happening but honestly? keep it up

- when Brook joined the crew, Zoro said he was sorry for Brooks bad luck as if one of the first things Brook ever saw Zoro do wasn’t to try and die for the crew via Giant Paw Ball of Pain

- speaking of, i’m pretty sure half the reason zoro DIDNT die in thriller bark is because if he died via smth as silly as a giant paw ball his injured pride would kill him again

- I was going to make fun of Zoro for wearing only a suit and a fake mustache in dressrosa as a disguise but then I realized, like, given how absolutely shredded Zoro was in Punk Hazard and how that suit somehow managed to squish it all down without zoro ripping the sleeves off? solid disguise

- when merry was burning and everyone’s bawling and remembering great memories on the ship and Zoro was standing there, 100% stoic, remembering a nap

- Zoro saw marines (Garp) coming to Water 7 while Luffy was still unconscious and ran off to warn the others but couldn’t find his way back to the hotel

- that G8 filler where he falls off a cliff in pursuit of his swords

- speaking of fillers, remember that amnesia one? (ha). highlights include Zoro trying to physically fight a small sea horse (plus Usopp doing a bad lip-syncing) and Zoro swimming through the Grand Line with his swords tied to his head by his bandana

- meets a dragon, eats the dragon

- it got mentioned once that Sanji and Nami canonly help Zoro and the other guys get dressed. so every time Zoro wears something absolutely ridiculous (which is often), it’s probably Sanjis doing

- “I can’t believe I cut a freaking booger!!”

- speaking of, remember that time Luffy flicked a booger into Zoro’s drink at the Baratie and Zoro tried to force him to drink it?? remember that?? I hate them both

- that time Zoro was trying to find the Right Eye in Skypiea, said that (though the path to get there was STRAIGHT AHEAD) all he had to do to find the right eye was just keep going right (even though that would just lead him in circles!). and then after that do you know what direction he went?? do you know?? he fucking went left

- the time Zoro got lost walking on a straight path in a filler.

- Zoro lost to a guy in a fight and just fucking let the dude cut him in half. like, yes, the baratie scene was all cool as all hell and I love it but Zoro did in fact basically invite a dude to cut him in half

- when they were hit by negative hollows and everyone else said stuff that was kinda funny but Zoro went straight up “I don’t deserve to exist” please honey talk to someone

- he was fighting Kaku and kept engaging in Kaku’s devil fruit bs and then berating himself for being uncool as if he wasn’t already fighting a giant giraffe

- to end this list, I want to get to Zoro’s absolute worst offense. remember when Zoro fought Kaku and he did that asura form thing? where he straight up grew four extra arms and two extra heads, all wielding swords? what the FUCK was that? and don’t tell me “fighting spirit” alright. that’s bull. people don’t just GROW EXTRA SWORD-WIELDING BODY PARTS because they’re just REALLY INTO a FIGHT. like I know this is One Piece and shit’s ridiculous all this time but this? this is too much. even for One Piece this is too much. this is so ridiculous. there has to be a line, even in One Piece, with what these guys are allowed to get away with. I can accept haki so good you can see the future. I can accept spinning so fast you set your leg on fire. I can accept being made of springs. I can accept booger bombs. I can accept all that and more, but this? this is where i take my stand. Roronoa Zoro cannot keep getting away with this! fighting spirit is just not an explanation. and the worst part? the absolute worst part?

- Zoro makes four extra limbs and two extra heads, all armed with swords, MATERIALIZE out of THIN AIR with absolutely NO REAL EXPLANATION and then pretty much NEVER DOES IT AGAIN! he did it once in sabaody (and once in strong world) and then hasn’t done it since! everyone else uses the power ups they got in enies lobby all the time but Zoro, somewhere out there, knows how fuckin sick this attack is (bc yeah it’s ridiculous as hell but like I still enjoy it) and he just won’t do it again. not once post timeskip has he used it at all. Roronoa Zoro knows what he’s doing and he is out there, right now, laughing

- roronoa zoro is one of my top three favorite one piece characters and I make this list entirely out of love. (feel free to add on more moments I may have missed and i’ll add them)

#One Piece #roronoa zoro #Zoro #im making a tag for these lists and it is:#ridiculous lists #I love this man. hes awful and I love him #I also want you all to know ive had this list in my notes for like a month and ive been adding to it this whole time #roronoa Zoro is a piece of work #my posts

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