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itsjaywalkers · 2 months

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a lil smth under the cut for u guys (part 3) <3

(light nsfw)

part 1 part 2

“Well, it’s not perfect, but it’s decent enough, so it’ll have to do,” James says, and Regulus it’s too busy trying to keep his breathing under control to be bothered by the other man’s words. “Relax your shoulders a little, love.”

“Don’t,” Regulus hisses, even though he isn’t sure himself if that response is because of the nickname, or James’ touch, or James’ closeness, or something else entirely.

“Don’t what?” James asks, sneaking a hand up and massaging one of his shoulders until both of them sag.

“You know what.”

“I don’t even think you know.”

Regulus huffs loudly, and hates that he can’t argue back.

“Show me how you do a jab,” James requests, his hands returning to Regulus’ waist after one last press on his shoulder.

Regulus clears his throat slightly, feeling a bit flustered all of a sudden while he raises his right arm and gets ready to do what James asked. He only hesitates for a couple of seconds before doing the punch, not as confident as he’d usually be after having James criticise him so much.

He knows he’s no expert. He isn’t even that athletic to begin with. But he still has a boxer brother, which means he’s definitely not as clueless as James is making him out to be.

Maybe if it were someone else, Regulus would find it in himself to fight back, defend his knowledge and Sirius’ teachings. But, as it turns out, having a professional boxer watching you try to punch is an incredibly humbling experience. Especially one as mind-blowingly good as James.

Not like Regulus would ever tell him that.

James hums. “Not bad,” he says, and really, it shouldn’t satisfy Regulus as much as it does. “It’s a bit too slow, though.”

Regulus tilts his head back, in an attempt to look at the other man, but he barely lasts a second after realising how fucking close both of his faces are.

His heart beats wildly in his chest. He can only hope James doesn’t notice.

“How so?” Regulus wonders, so relieved to hear his voice sounds completely normal.

“Jabs focus on speed over strength,” James explains calmly. “It’s a matter of overwhelming your opponent, rather than properly hurting. The punch has to be quick, and once the arm returns, it’s gotta go up, protect your face. Like this.”

He grabs one of Regulus’ arms gently, moving it forward and then back very slowly, to demonstrate how to do it, and then fast, jostling Regulus’ whole body with it.

“See?” James murmurs, and he could swear that his tone has gone lower. “You don’t have to worry about being strong enough. It’s all about speed.”

“Okay,” Regulus replies with a tiny nod, doing his best to concentrate on what James is seeing, and not on all of the points where they’re touching. Or on how close James is. Or how nice he smells, despite all the sweat—maybe even because of it. “I think I get it.”

“Yeah? Wanna try again on your own?”

Part of Regulus wants to snark back, argue that it’s only a stupid jab and James is just being picky because he’s a professional boxer and it’s not like there’s an actual science to throwing a punch. But having James holding onto his waist must be clouding his mind, because he just gives another nod, and does his best to replicate James’ movement and speed.

“Yeah, that’s it,” James breathes out, and Regulus can almost hear his smile. “Very good, love. You’re a natural.”

“Oh, I’m a natural now?” Regulus huffs out, but it comes out more teasing than irritated.

“Or maybe you just have a great teacher,” James adds playfully, accompanied by a squeeze on his hips.

“You’re right, Sirius is pretty great,” Regulus responds with a shrug, relishing in the way James clicks his tongue.

“But I’m better.”

“In your dreams, Potter.”

“Wait, what happened to ‘James’?”

Regulus feels heat rushing to his cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

James chuckles way too close to Regulus’ ear, and his breath hits the side of his neck, goosebumps breaking all over his skin. Regulus has to swallow a very embarrassing and very needy sound before it makes it past his lips.

“C’mon, love, we were getting along so nicely. Don’t try to ruin it now.”

“You’ve finally lost it,” Regulus states, trying to laugh the whole thing off. It probably doesn’t work, though, considering how unstable he sounds. “There’s not a single universe in which you and I get along, Potter.”

“Liar,” James whispers. “I’m growing on you.”

“Whatever gave me away?” Regulus grumbles, sarcasm dripping from his words.

“The fact that you’re letting me touch you,” James murmurs, voice smooth and silky, feeling like a caress. “How you keep leaning against my contact, and catching yourself at the last second.”

Regulus’ breath hitches. “That’s—”

“The way you’re not even arguing with me anymore. Not really,” James continues, unrelenting, his lips grazing Regulus’ earlobe and making his eyes flutter shut. “If anything, I’d even dare to say you’re flirting.”

“You’re delusional,” Regulus spits, too breathless to sound as furious as he’d like to. “The fucking audacity—”

“And,” James cuts him off, tone so frustratingly smug, “I bet you’re aching between those pretty legs of yours.”

Regulus lets out an embarrassed noise, barely suppressing the urge to press his thighs together.

“No,” he croaks out, shaking his head a little and face burning.

“No?” James mocks him, pressing his smirk behind Regulus’ ear. “Shall we check?”

One of James’ hands moves slowly, sliding from its place on Regulus’ waist to rest under his navel, fingers playfully caressing his waistband.

Regulus hates how that mere touch is enough to turn his mind into static. To make his heart stutter in his chest, and the mess in his underwear almost unbearable.

“Potter—”

“No.”

Regulus’ eyebrows shoot up, and before he has the chance to ask, he feels James’ teeth at the side of his neck, nipping teasingly and dragging a fucking whimper out of him.

“What—?!” he begins, completely red in the face and attempting to move away from the other man for the first time since he allowed his touch.

James holds him tighter, bites down harder. “Behave, Regulus, or I’ll fucking make you.”

Regulus doesn’t listen, despite how the tone of James’ voice makes him tremble like a leaf. He keeps resisting, an outraged sound leaving his mouth while his body betrays him and becomes even wetter.

“Oh, you don’t get to play the clueless card on me,” James murmurs, his teeth giving way to a devilish tongue that turns Regulus soft and pliant, his attempts at freeing himself growing sloppy, lazy. “I always do my best to be patient, to respect your boundaries and control myself, but you’ve been a damn tease all afternoon, and I’m fucking done.”

“What the fuck are you even—”

“Enough,” James growls back, and it’s so commanding Regulus’ mouth snaps shut with a clack.

There’s a beat of silence, and then James is laughing under his breath. “Good boy.”

It’s filled with mockery, bordering on mean, and yet, it still makes Regulus moan like a fucking bitch in heat, eyes rolling to the back of his skull and body going completely boneless.

“Fuck,” James whispers, a mix between awed and devastated. “I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known. Is that what does it for you, baby? You wanna be my good boy?”

Baby.

Regulus moans again, even though it’s weaker this time, but he still shakes his head, or tries to at least, holding onto the last traces of sanity and refusing to let James win whatever twisted game they’re playing.

“C’mon, you were doing so well,” James mumbles, tongue licking up the side of his neck. “And you can’t fool me anymore. Not like you ever did, but still. I know you wanna be good for me, baby. Know you wanna please me, let me use you in whatever way I see fit.”

He tries to shake his head once more, but somehow, his brain gets the order wrong and Regulus ends up nodding instead.

“That’s right,” James coos, dropping a kiss on his skin, long and lingering. “Now, say my name, Regulus.”

“James,” he gasps almost against his will, mouth moving before his mind can catch up.

The other man groans and then attaches his lips to his throat immediately after, tongue pressing down as he sucks, the sting feeling absolutely heavenly.

Regulus tilts his head to the side to give James more space, eyes hooded and limbs heavy, back coming to rest against James’ chest.

“James,” he says again, without being prompted this time and the word almost sounding like a whine.

“Fuck, you’re driving me insane,” James hisses against his neck, peppering the skin with open-mouthed kisses, his tongue and teeth mapping out Regulus’ skin. “You don’t understand how long I’ve been dying to do this.”

Regulus whimpers, hands moving on their own volition and reaching behind him until they bury themselves into James’ messy locks. He pulls, a bit harsher than intended, but before Regulus can manage to apologise, James is moaning loudly, the vibrations on his skin making him shiver.

He pulls again, and James bites down on his throat hard enough to leave a mark. Regulus doesn’t have it in himself to reprimand him, or to tell him to stop. His brain is unable to focus on anything that isn’t James’ mouth working down his neck.

“We could’ve been doing this ages ago if you weren’t so fucking stubborn,” James sighs, lips caressing his exposed shoulder and dragging another obscene noise out of Regulus. “I knew you wanted it. I knew you wanted me.”

“James—” Regulus pants, apparently unable to speak anything else apart from the other man’s name.

It’s kind of embarrassing, how pliant a couple of kisses and a few dirty comments can make him. Regulus isn’t usually this easy, especially not in bed; he likes having a modicum of control, always ready to remind his partner that he doesn’t enjoy being bossed around. But, and as much as he hates to admit it, James knows what he’s doing.

Although, maybe it’s not even a matter of skills. Maybe it’s simply that it’s James, and despite how much he’s tried to deny it, he’s been desperate for him almost since the moment he laid eyes on him.

“God, baby, you taste divine,” James grunts, sucking on his collarbone almost at the same time that his fingers dip into Regulus’ waistband. They don’t get very far, and it’s more of a playful contact than anything else, but his breath still hitches. “Can’t wait to put my mouth between your legs.”

Regulus makes a keening sound, hips twitching, and James chuckles cruelly against his shoulder.

“You’d let me, right, baby?” James goes on, the hand that had slipped inside the basketball shorts changing its course and travelling up up up, until they’re caressing Regulus’ chest, following the shape of his scars. “There’s no point in pretending you’re not fucking gagging for it at this point. Just look at you. Look at you. I bet you could come from this. From me marking you up while I whisper in your ear.”

“N-no,” Regulus huffs, blinking furiously and doing his best to break out of his daze. “You’re too—too full of yourself. This isn’t enough, it could never be, and I—”

“Not enough?” James questions, stopping his ministrations. Regulus bites his tongue to stop the protest at the tip of his tongue. “Is this your way of asking for more, baby? Because you’re gonna have to do better than that. I don’t listen to brats.”

Regulus wishes he could scoff, elbow James in the stomach so his touches stop clouding his mind and tell him to fuck off. Maybe even show him how well he can throw a stupid punch.

But his body isn’t listening to his mind. It doesn’t care about what Regulus truly wants. Or what he’s been telling himself he wants, at least.

That’s why when he parts his lips, none of the curses he’s been preparing come out. Instead, there’s only need and lust. “Please,” he whimpers, closing his eyes tight momentarily. “Please, James, I—I just—”

James shushes him gently while circling a nipple, Regulus’ toes curling inside his toes and cunt clenching around nothing. “Oh, baby. It’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you so well. Give you exactly what you need.”

“Yeah,” Regulus exhales, hands spasming around James’ curls. “Please.”

“Gonna let me fuck you, baby? Let me finger you nice and open, so you can get ready for my cock?”

Regulus moans and nods and thrashes around, one of his hands slipping from James’ hair just so he can grab one of James' by its wrist, pushing his arm downwards and hoping to get some relief where he truly needs it.

James stops right before he reaches his waistband, a cocky grin curving against Regulus’ skin.

“Well, well,” James breathes. “Aren’t you a needy little thing.”

“C’mon,” Regulus complains, uncaring of how childish he sounds. He feels too fucking drunk on everything James to be able to think about anything else apart from getting off.

James laughs again, because he’s mean like that, and Regulus can already feel some tears prickling at his eyes out of frustration.

“You have to tell me what you want, Regulus,” James says, and his voice is so damn casual it actually hurts. “This won’t work otherwise.”

There’s no this, Regulus wants to snap back, but then James is pressing nearer, until Regulus can feel the outline of his hard cock against his ass. It makes him gasp and push back against it, really pleased by the little hiss James lets out at the pressure.

“See what you do to me, baby?” James whispers, dragging his lips over his shoulders, the side of his throat, behind his ear. “We barely did anything, and yet I’m so fucking hard it’s actually painful. You’ve no idea of how many times I’ve jerked myself off to the thought of you. Wishing it was your hand instead. Your mouth. The inside of your cunt.”

Regulus’ knees shake, a mewl escaping his parted lips, and James’ grip on him turns even stronger.

“I bet you’ll feel all tight and warm around me,” James goes on, tone husky, words dripping with so much desire it makes Regulus light-headed. “Make the sweetest sounds, too. I used to think you were too uptight and that I needed to fuck the stubborness out of you, but it turns out that you’re real fucking dirty, baby. Grinding back against my cock and opening your legs the moment I praised you a little. Oh, if they could see you now, baby. Big bad scary Regulus Black. Reduced to a pathetic, whimpering mess.”

“Shut up,” Regulus grits out, but he doesn’t stop rubbing his ass on James’ cock, or pulling at James’ wrist insistently, in an attempt to get his hand inside his pants. “You’re all bark and no bite. Spent all these months telling me everything you wanted to do to me, and now that I finally give you a chance, you’re only teasing and babbling in my ear.”

“Good try, baby, but you should know by now that that attitude of yours only turns me on.”

“Yeah? Then how come you’re not fucking me yet, huh?”

James’ other hand, the one that hasn’t stopped gripping Regulus’ waist for a single second, lets go and climbs up, taking a hold of Regulus’ chin. James uses it to tilt his head back, forcing their gazes to meet, and Regulus despises how he feels himself get slicker at the flash of danger on James’ gaze, the sharpness of his smirk.

“God, the mouth you have on you, baby.” James cocks his head to the side, considering, and he grips his chin even tighter. “So fucking filthy. And so pretty when you beg.”

“I don’t beg,” Regulus murmurs back, aware that it’s a lie. He still narrows his eyes when James barks out a laugh.

“Yes, you do. You already have. And you will do so again, if you want to come.”

“I don’t need you for that. I can just—just walk out of here, leave you hanging and get off all by myself—”

“No, you can’t. I’m sure you’ve also jerked off while thinking of me, right, baby? All that tension, all that repression, I know it took its toll. Did you finger yourself slow and deep as soon as you got home after our interviews? Came with my name in your mouth?”

Regulus only glares at him, not even trying to defend himself. What’s the point, when James can see right through him? Lying won’t do him any favours.

“You did,” James states, ridiculously pleased with himself. “You’re not gonna go and waste this chance over your wounded pride, baby. Argue all you want, but we both know you’re not going anywhere. Not when you’re practically drooling at the thought of taking my cock.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want it as much, if not more, than I do,” Regulus grumbles.

James shrugs, leaning forward and forcing Regulus to do the same. Until their noses are grazing each other, breaths intermingling.

“Never said otherwise,” he retorts with ease.

“Then what the fuck are you playing at?”

“Nothing, really. Just waiting for you to tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you, baby, I swear. You just gotta ask.”

Regulus purses his lips, but James does sound sincere, and at this point, it’s not like he has anything else to lose. It’s too late to try and save face, and his dignity, or whatever was left of it, took its leave the moment he allowed James to get this close.

Besides, he wants this. He wants James. Has done so for a while, probably since the very beginning, and not even he has this much self-restraint.

“Fuck me,” Regulus says in a soft exhale, watching the way James’ pupils eat at his irises. “Please, James, fuck me. I need you inside me, it’s—fucking unbearable, really, and I’m gonna lose it if you don’t—”

“Yes,” James gasps out, nodding fast, moves turning erratic as he finally slips his hand under the shorts, under Regulus’ briefs. “Yes. Of course, baby, anything you want, I’m—shit, you’re so—let me just—”

His fingers rub at his clit playfully, pulling a moan out of Regulus, before they continue their path down, until they’re running through slick curls, teasing at his entrance and marvelling at the wetness they find there.

“Fuck, baby, you’re fucking dripping,” James whispers in wonder. Regulus can only whimper, pushing against his eager hand. “And it’s for me. All for me. Fucking hell, just—come here—”

It’s when James tilts his head up, clearly wanting to kiss him, that Regulus finally manages to go back to himself. That Regulus remembers where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s doing it with.

Reality hits him with such harshness that the ground seems to tilt under his feet, leaving him breathless, and dizzy, and having to swallow down a wave of nausea.

What the actual fuck is wrong with him?

“Wait,” he squeals, James’ mouth already touching his. “Wait.”

To the other man’s credit, he does stop immediately at Regulus’ words, pulling back and fingers freezing where they were exploring at his cunt’s entrance.

Regulus takes a gulp of air, heart rumbling loudly inside his head, his brain screaming at him to get a fucking grip.

“Reg?” James calls him, a worried frown twisting his features while his eyes roam all over his face. “Baby, you okay?”

“Don’t—” Regulus wheezes out, clawing at James’ arm until he gets the hint and takes it out of his pants. He can’t think with those thick, calloused fingers resting on his cunt. “We can’t do this. It’s—no, James, just—no.”

Something pained flashes in James’ gaze, before it disappears, being substituted by a harshness Regulus has to look away from. “Regulus—”

“No,” he repeats, a lot firmer this time. “I’m not—I can’t, James. I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can’t.”

Regulus doesn’t stick around to hear James’ response, or watch his reaction. He moves away from him, legs shaky but still managing to support his weight, and he exits the ring without daring to glance back.

#AND FINALLY #ITS DONE #god i cant believe this silly scene ended up being so long #especially when i wrote it . without actually making an effort . since it's just a snippy and i was simply having fun #but i guess i should've expected it #anyways hope u guys enjoy!!#and that the wait was worth it!!#if u see any mistakes or something that doesn't make much sense #no u didn't #it's almost 4am and im knackered #be gentle with me etc #going to sleep NOW #boxer james agenda

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ineedfriendsss · 10 months

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sam and dean in the bunker slowly realizing they can't hardly sleep in separate rooms anymore

they've been so used to having each other Right There. in the impala or their hotel room

and there are so many rooms in the bunker so there's really no need, but one night they break, and end up sleeping in the same room, and they just, never stop

also just, imagine the drama this would've caused in season 14 when all the refugees moved in

#samdean #sam winchester #dean winchester #psychotically irrationally erotically codependent #etc etc #cant believe i wrote something postive about the bunker

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vvitchering · 1 year

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oh actually while I'm thinking about it and since I didn't do an episode reaction post like I have been, I wanted to say that I absolutely HATED the character regression concerning the droids Din went through this past episode. One of my favorite parts of S1-S2 was Din working through his hatred and mistrust of droids, mostly due to his experience with IG-11. I loved that bit of character development for him because it paints a picture of someone who, while he had entirely valid reasons to hate droids, came to care enough about one to work through that feeling and overcome it.

Din never struggled with interacting with droids again after that and I always felt that was in honor of IG, which I loved. To see him regress right back to his early S1 blunt hate with no explanation was hard to watch. To me, that's just another example of how little the writers care about Din as a character this season. Especially since they had a golden opportunity to frame Din's regression as specific to seeing clone wars era battle droids for the first time since he was a child. Not only would that have actually made sense, it would have been a great way to give Din some MUCH needed personal development when he'd inevitably have to explain his freak out to Bo-Katan.

#im just #THEY wrote the show #how do they not know what happened in their own show #this is the same gd team of writers #din's droid hate was something he worked through a WHILE ago #yall were even about to bring back IG-11 who Din called his friend THIS SEASON #the idiocy is astounding tbh #mando critical #the mandalorian #cant believe this is the same season i thought they'd actually bring IG back LOLOLOLOLOL

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anotherpapercut · 9 months

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Hi! I just saw your post about queer books in libraries, and my local system has always surprised me with its many good queer and trans books!

It does bring to mind a Library Question that you might be able to answer for me, though: if a library book (say, anti-trans, antisemitic screed "Trans" by Helen Joyce) is destroyed (by accident of course) and the upstanding library patron who did it pays the lost book fine, will the fine be used to replace that book in the system, or just go to general library needs?

as a quick disclaimer I don't know how all libraries work across the country or world but most libraries I am aware of just have it go into their general revenue which will be allocated somewhere, probably to the collections budget for the purchasing of other books

HOWEVER! if it is a super popular book like if trump wrote a book or something they would definitely have to replace it to fulfill demand. but an older Ben Shapiro or whatever that no one has cared about for years? probably won't be missed :)

#i cant tell you this is ok but i will say that sometimes i bend random pages in the middle of shitty books just to feel something #also once i withdrew a shitty book and wrote 'if you believe this youre a fucking idiot' on the title page #then i stuck it in a pile to go to our huge book sale #dont tell on me #omg also once my partner and i withdrew like 100 james pattersons and put mustaches and stuff on the author photos ajbdksbz

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salsa-di-pomodoro · 2 years

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I just had the absolute worst idea for a submas au.

WARNING LONG POST I DONT KNOW HOW TO USE READ MORE

Like. Ingo disappears, as usual. But people think Emmet killed him because of someone spreading misinformation that is taken as truth (no it's not volo i don't believe in evil volo. He's not immortal in this otherwise he would have come forward).

Emmet gets taken to prison while waiting for a trial and he has a rough time there for the little time hes in (i can't bring myself to leave him there for too long) because prison wouldn't be kind to a man like Emmet (autistic). But that's not even the main angst.

So unova is basically Pokémon America, right? I don't know about new York, or even how it works, but... There's death row in America isn't there?

Whatt if Emmet ended up on death row over false accusations? (HE DOES NOT DIE, I CAN'T HANDLE THAT.)

Ingo comes home with some of his memories on the day of his execution. He remembers Emmet, a little bit, and he's excited to see him again. He reappears at the station, and the depot agents are ecstatic to see him, before they remember what day it is and they realize Ingo has no idea. The very second Ingo realizes Emmet's in danger he starts sprinting across nimbasa towards the direction they pointed him in, hoping he isn't too late.

People who are gathered in front of the building, to say goodbye to Emmet, to protest, or even to get a good scoop, they see him coming and move to clear the way.

The security guards can't really do anything but yell at him when he climbs over the gate, there's too many people to shoot (tranquilizers. Pokémon police is only a little bit better ive decided) safely.

Ingo's coat becomes even more of a rag than it already is after that, but he doesn't really care. Be needs to find his brother.

Meanwhile Emmet is talking to his family for what he believes to be the last time. He is, understandably, a wreck. He's gone non-verbal, they took his clothes from him an the ones he's wearing now have a horrible texture and he's obviously inconsolable. Drayden and Iris (and Elesa, if friends are allowed in) don't say anything either. They know it wasn't him, that he could never do that but they couldn't prove it. How do you reassure someone who's going to die for no reason? There's still the matter of missing Ingo, too.

When an officer says their time is up he wordlessly gets up to follow her as his family is herded out of the room. Iris starts crying and he feels nothing but dread and grief.

Suddendly, they hear a door bursting open at the end of the hall, and yelling. And then someone tackles Emmet with enough force to break him out of the officer's grip, and then they've dragged him to the other end of the room, far away from anyone else, and then his vision is covered by a familiar, albeit tattered coat, and then several Pokémon burst out of their pokeballs to protect them, and then he finally, finally lets himself realize who tackled him, because despite how they're clearly out of breath they shout, at a volume he hasn't heard in years:

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!!!"

Emmet looks up to his savior. "...Ingo?" When did he start crying? It doesn't matter. Ingo is here now and everything will be alright again.

#tagging this one ig #submas au #submas angst #?#warden ingo #subway boss emmet #Elesa #barely lol #please be nice this is the first time i share something i 'wrote'#this isnt how i would write tho this was in the heat of the moment #shortly after all this Emmet asks Ingo if he believes Emmet could really murder him #Ingo says he's furious the thought crossed anyone's head #even more so since it got this bad #Ingo will have nightmares about being late now #they both have ptsd oof #they go to sinnoh after everything is over #they cant stand to be in nimbasa for a while #and they take a vacation so ingo can show emmet where he's been even if it was hundreds of years in the past #and emmet helps ingo readjust to being in cities somewhere where it's easier and more familiar than nimbasa would be #Ingo is still missing a lot of memories so Drayden Iris and Elesa and anyone who wants to see them really comes visit for a few days #every once in a while #also akari/rei visit too #still trying to decide if lady sneasler is there #by the way Ingo broke several laws in his rush to get to Emmet #they use the money Emmet gets as reparation for the trouble he was given as bail money for ingo lol #and also to go on vacation #or maybe they call in a favor with Cynthia?#who knows #sorry if this is all over the place i started writing at 2 am #then i fell asleep and then i had just woken up and my mind was sluggish and then i had to go eat so

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felizusnavidad · 7 months

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Happy 1989 TV Day! What's are your top 5 tracks? ✨️🩵

hi M! happy 1989 tv day to you as well 🩵

first of all, i absolutely love taylor's version and i must say it has no skips for me. my top 5 tracks:

out of the woods

wonderland

new romantics

welcome to new york

i know places

(im not including any vault tracks because i will write a mini essay later as i promised!)

#the whole album is amazing tho #i still cant believe its here #and the vault is just something else but we will get to that later #thanks for the ask 🩵#i saved every letter you wrote me*

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zushimart · 1 year

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its liketalking to. wa ll.

edit: person i was arguing w talked it out w me & we had a convo ab scara in the notes tht i really liked. sooo... u shld read it if u like my other scara analysis posts !!:3

#they took jokes srsly and then ignored half the things i did praise the quest for #and the fact tht i know scara wnted t o effing kill himself nd was so impulsive like #i literlaly wrote up a whole thing like an hour ago talking ab how i understand??#why he would want to do this ??#nd that it makes sense ??#its just weird that the narrative LET HIM #that user also believes cbt even works #like i was literally criticizing the quest for just Telling him that he has value #like i literally agreed w the point they were making but theyre arguing w me like i said something else #they also mentioned tht i cared ab ships??#as if mentioning a charas in game connections to other characters is ONLY about ships?#like what scaramouche did affected the kaedehara clan #like its a giant part of kazuha's character #meaning that In the future #not specifically this quest #they cant interact and they have to drop the whole balladeer story line from kazuha #its just weird #i wasnt mad ab them not being able to kiss or smth help #i dont even ship kazuscara #HELSPJKAKJ #its also weird tht they said tht scara doesnt care ab other ppls opinions #bc he literally does thts why he killed everyone in tatarasuna #bc he felt betrayed #like the whole point of scaras chara is that he cares so very deeply about humans #??? like waaa #Waaa #wah #they just pulled a bunch of strawmans out of absolutely nowhere and argued with them like i said them #but i didnt even say that stuff #im sooo confused how im supposed to engage w someone who's so mad ab me saying things i didnt even say

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corpsoir · 2 years

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lmao since i wrote this i have completely changed their story, she doesnt die this is old dont worry about it if you stumble upon this

guh okay. please know i'm not at all used to writing fiction in any of my languages lol i'm only used to writing academically in swedish but. well. also, i learned sailing in swedish so if i have gotten my terms wrong here its because i literally dont know what they are in english and had to google a lot lol but i think they should be right. smileeessss

anyways here's a dumb little story about skagen och solvei the day they found out solvei is dying.

its roughly 1.5k words long. the little painting above is related to the story, its also based on a photo i took :) have you ever been out sailing when the sky looks like that? its very spooky but also very cool and beautiful. i love the sea

edit: forgot to mention but!! theres a scene with a panic attack here at the end so be aware of that

A chilling gale whips salty water into Skagen’s eyes. It could very well be tears; he finds it difficult to know today. He blinks and decides it doesn’t matter anyway, and lets his eyes follow a seagull struggling against the harsh gale; a small white speck against the clouds so intensely dark blue they almost appear black. Maybe taking the boat out was a stupid decision after all, they should’ve stayed home and acted more mature, talked to their parents about all this. About their emotions, what the future would look like, what their parents could do to help them. Maybe make plans to talk to a therapist together or something, that’s what you’re supposed to do when life comes to fuck you over right?

But he doesn’t want that. Solvei doesn’t want that. He wants to scream, break things. He wants to set sail in a storm and run away from reality. He doesn’t want to hear his parents or Solvei’s parents tell them that “things will be a little bit different now”.

No, fuck that. They're just kids. The world is unfair, unfair, unfair.

He’s not letting a stupid test result from some equally stupid doctor change their lives like this.

The black storm cloud above him seeps into his mind and he imagines himself as that seagull, being devoured by it. Lost, cold, and scared. The sun is smothered by it, and he can’t get out. Solvei is sitting next to him, and she’s dying. Is her head filled with storm clouds too?

”… – even listening to me? You’re drifting off again!” Solvei pushes him aside and yanks the tiller from him to adjust their course. He hadn’t even noticed the sails starting to wave restlessly in the wind.

“What? Oh it’s fine, I’m still here. I was just thinking, sorry,” he turns and locks eyes with Solvei, who looks like she’s about to lecture him on keeping an eye on the sails, but as she opens her mouth to do so she pauses. A crease forms between her eyebrows.

“I meant the boat, Skagen,” she says.

Skagen wipes the salt from his eyes, clears his throat. Maybe the wind wasn’t to blame; perhaps they were tears after all. But the sun in front of him breaks through the clouds in his mind, letting him land in the relative safety of his boat again.

“Right. The boat. About that, I think we should lower the foresail, I don’t think we need all of it in this wind.” They pass a small skerry occupied by a flock of black cormorants drying their wings to no avail; a wall of rain is quickly approaching, soaking the birds as well as the humans in their boat. Skagen squints against the rain, as the wind picks up speed and whips his bangs into his eyes.

“Ow! Fuck, okay no, let’s just… Is there any fuel left in the motor? Let’s use that instead, I don’t want to capsize this thing, mum spent too much money on it…” he mumbles as he’s rubbing his eyes. After fumbling around in the pockets of his favourite trousers he produces a hair tie to tame the blue-green mess of a hair with.

A ghost of a smile tugs on Solvei’s lips as she’s watching him; Skagen looks up just in time to catch it. The storm clouds of his mind are further pushed away by the sun.

Solvei turns to watch the sails strain, fabric taut in the force of the gale. The wires on the boat are howling in the wind.

“Well, you take the tiller and I’ll get the sails sorted. Keep the course straight this time, no sudden gybe, I’m not in the mood for a swim right now.” She stands up from the cockpit and carefully crawls up to lower the sails. After struggling against the wind – ever growing in intensity – she haphazardly shoves the sails into the small deckhouse of the boat. They will have to fold them properly at another time.

Solvei sits down next to him and starts the motor. “Do you even know where we’re going? Do we have a plan here?” The motor splutters and coughs before running smoothly and pushing them forward.

Skagen blinks the last of the discomfort from his eyes and shrugs. “I just wanted to get away from home, I wasn’t really thinking… We could turn back home if you want to, the weather is pretty shit,” he sighs and instantly feels that cloud form in his mind again.

“It’s fine, we’ll go back when we feel like it. Don’t worry about it, we’re not too far away from the nearest island anyway,” she reassures him.

Skagen only nods. He doesn’t really want to turn home yet, but the last thing he would want to do is keep Solvei out here in the dark, on the sea against her will. And it’s growing really dark now, isn’t it? The howling wind and the waves throwing themselves onto the boat are usually calming, but now it’s just white noise. He can’t feel his face, he blames the wind for making him numb. But he knows it’s not to blame, not really.

Mentally he’s still stuck in Solvei’s kitchen, both her and his parents there with them, the adults trying their best to keep a straight face while they delivered the news. They might as well have punched a hole through his chest. Something inside him tells him he should probably feel a little bit bad about throwing a mug on the wall and breaking it, but for some reason he just can’t feel bad for it. He can’t feel anything.

The motor spits and splutters to a halt and Skagen is ripped back to reality again. Solvei has turned the motor off and grabs Skagen’s free hand.

“Solvei? The motor…” he trails off without really knowing what else to say. There’s salt on his face. The sea is not to blame this time either. Solvei squeezes his hand and stares at the black cormorants shuffling around on the rocks.

“I don’t want to die.” It’s almost a whisper; the roar of the sea, wind and rain is doing it’s best to drown it out, but he hears it.

And that whisper is the droplet that makes the dams break. The clouds inside his head detonate into a raging storm in the blink of an eye. That seagull he was imagining himself as is struck by a thousand lightning bolts, it falls from the sky and gets devoured by the boiling sea below it.

One second, he thinks he’s probably overreacting, it was just a couple of words, don’t be a baby.

The next second he imagines his life without his best friend by his side, and it utterly breaks him. It feels like being split in two and the other half being tossed to the fish never to be seen again.

His body goes completely numb and the roar of the sea grows louder and louder until all he can hear is the blood pumping in his ears.

Is it the rocking of the boat or is he really floating away, drowning? Is it all in his head or did the boat finally capsize?

Something deep in his cloudy, stormy mind decides that he does not care about the answer. He thinks he hears the growl of a motor, or maybe it’s just the wind. He tastes salty water, hears himself sob as if listening to himself through a wall. Skagen doesn’t know for how long he’s drowning in the storm, but at some point, the rocking stops.

And at some point, his body comes back to him. Slowly at first, and then reality floods his senses all at once. The smell of fresh laundry and hot chocolate. Hair tickling his nose and someone’s breath in his face. Hesitantly, he opens his eyes to find himself home, tucked into his bed with Solvei clinging to him. He’s wearing a hoodie and pajama trousers, completely different from the cargo shorts, crop top and life vest he set out with earlier. Really stupid outfit to wear in a storm, what was he thinking? He’s still so cold.

With a sigh he closes his eyes again. When people say they’re exhausted, he usually imagines it as a bit extra sleepy. But now he gets it, this is a kind of tired he’s never felt before. It feels like his body and mind have been put through a meat grinder and been assembled again using nothing but a cotton thread. Do people really expect you to function and go about as normal when you feel like this?

Solvei is fast asleep in front of him. Alive and breathing. Skagen can’t stop the words “not for long though” forming in his mind.

When he drifts off again, he dreams of a black sky with no sun. A seagull floats upside down on the surface of the sea.

There’s salt on his face.

#uuuhhhhh im not tagging this anything smart though #this is my little space where i yell and freak out and feel weird and insecure #banging my head in the wall ANYWAYS i love my little scrunglies skagen and solvei #i named this file kuling btw. it means gale #ANYWAAAYYYYY cant believe i wrote something HSAJKFA #skagen gipp #solvei stiltje #corps ocs #corps art

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rosaaeles · 5 months

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just saw that my peeta fic has 10k+ hits which is firstly insane but secondly is kind of embarrassing because i feel like my writing style has changed since :') i originally posted it in 2021 (?!!!?!?!) and then i edited it in march this year and idk editing it again and fleshing it out more feels weird but maybe I'll do it because i feel like i can improve it

#i cant believe i wrote it so long ago #i was on something that summer bc what the hell #rosa talks ❁

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earl-grey-love · 1 year

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Well, I wrote my first o.m fanfic...

#I cant believe I actually wrote it in one sitting #I havent written anything except rp in 6+ months #but I got completely possessed and wrote 2k words in one sitting #with no breaks #so needless to say im REALLY in deep #im not gonna share this fic cus its one of those figuring things out things #like i took all the elements of my ships / si / story concepts I like and I threw them at a word document #and mixed em all around like a potion to see how they go together #which is cool but not something I feel like sharing #but I do very much intend to post my fics later on #when I write things worth sharing #sunny speaks

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0rionz-belt · 10 months

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I don’t know how to explain that I’m not me in a way anyone can fully comprehend. I’m so tired.

#vent #I can’t just keep saying all of this stuff again. but I’m going to.#I look back on my life and it feels like I’m remembering scenes from my favorite movie.#or better yet. you know how if you tell someone something enough they eventually believe it? like in criminal justice shit?#I look back. and it feels like that wasn’t me. but they’re my memories. somehow.#this is the same body. same brain. same voice.#but I can’t remember more than an audience would. I’ll never know what I was thinking. how my brain worked.#and I can’t help but wonder if I’m still seeing my life like that. if I’m exaggerating everything.#if I’m exaggerating how amazing I really was.#I spend every day of my fucking life mourning over what I perceived myself to be.#because back then? back then I was building the skills needed to be a person in this world.#everything feels fucking broken with me. I’m in so much anguish.#I miss being a person more than anything.#I feel so horrible. not just for everything I’ve done but for everyone I’ve met. for my friends.#I feel like I’ve let everyone down. No one understands just how true that actually is.#If you could see the life I lost you would think I let you down too. I guarantee it.#this is the worst death one can have. Everyone loses the you they know. But you still have a body and brain that has to face the aftermath.#I’ve been in agony for so long. so much of me is dead. I just pray that the rest of me goes painlessly.#cant believe I wrote this shit listening to a song from the god damn doll movie

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ghosttoasties · 1 year

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potholes are so bad here and i'm convinced even if i move again things won't improve because the state loves cops too much this is the third accident we've been in the last couple months where we've got somewhere to be and then we can't because the car has to get fixed 😭 i wish public transit was better and didn't take a literal half day just to get anywhere out of county.

#pasta jargon #i need to turn something in and i'm nervous asf so now i am in mi thoughts #when stuff like this happens it really sucks because i literally cant explain why im late. there's no forgiveness or sympathy with it.#nights like this I have to open up the ol' Notion and read thru my fics like i've never seen them before #cus no lie i can't even remember when i wrote them i can't believe i wrote half the shit i have on there. it's an archive at this point #it's been like two years and even 10 for some of them i wish my nerves didn't eat me up so much i'd love to post them someday #but tbh i feel like only me & 3 other people even care about that ship. but to those three.......one day i swear. i got u.#i feel like i'd post more and about my life more if i knew no one i knew (expect the tumblr moots) would see any of it #why does it matter. idk. i had to update my [REDACTED] today and i got sick to my stomach at the thought of anyone going through it #i've had rumors spread about me before i dont need this again #if i could start fresh i would in a heartbeat. i'm too used to it

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algumaideia · 10 months

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Part 1

Part 4

Ao3 link

Disclaimer: I don't know what I'm doing. Also I tried to be the most respectful I could about Amphithemis memory problem, but maybe I failed. Tell me if you think I did something wrong.

...

She was made of shadows. They moved around, flew away, came back and it looked like a distorted woman.

"Apollo, are you going to be a coward?"

It was just a whisper. But it echoed and vibrated inside him until it hurt.

Had she really come to visit him? Was it just a nightmare?

...

"My friend, would you join me in my crusade? I believe you'd have fun."

...

Amphithemis was often confused. He was almost never in the last place he remembered to be, always trying to understand where he was and what was happening. It was good that he knew Tartarus as well as those monsters as he spent what we could assume to be centuries before gaining memory problems. He never stayed at the same place because he knew he was in Tartarus and he would only be able to left Tartarus if he found Dionysus.

Almost no time was wasted with the constant confusion. Amphithemis discovered enough about what was happening and then upon no sign of his demigod, he would leave.

His survival was without a doubt the result of his ability to sense the monsters. After so many times at Tartarus he knew enough to differentiate what was the ancient being, what were monsters, what were giants, what were titans, and what were the gods.

This wasn't the first time he sensed a demigod down there, though he did not remember looking for Nico, Percy and Annabeth. However, he was aware the demigod was different. A dead legacy doesn't feel the same as a alive demigod. That was the root of his suspicion every time he saw Octavian. It was also the reason he believed he was his long lost Dionysus. Amphithemis knew he was a special case, it would explain the weird sensation.

And so Amphithemis life went. Constant confusion and fear of dying without never leaving Tartarus. Constant relief for finding his demigod and guiding him to a safe place. He did not notice the lesser amount of monster attacks, there was no way he could. He did not notice Octavian's strange behavior. He did not notice that Octavian was a ghost. Neither Octavian realized something was off, until...

"Who are you? What do you want?"

"I'm Octavian, you said you'd guide me to a safe place."

"That is ridiculous! I know no Octavian!"

...

As Hazel opened the door, she had to control herself to not show her surprise. Nico looked horrible. He had huge blackeyes, was pale, thinner, smelly, with dirty clothes and his hair looked like a bird's nest. She didn’t want to scare him.

“Hey, Hazel.”

Nico barely moved his hand while waving to his sister. It was like he had no strength left on his body and considering his condition, there was a high chance that was true.

“Come in.”

What would she do?

...

"Son of Jupiter, I understand you expected to rest after your death and this is not a concrete disturbance of your expectations, however you must know what is going on."

#tsats au #octavian #octavian hoo #amphithemis #amphithemis pjo #apollo pjo #nico di angelo #hazel levesque #i cant believe i wrote something

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lamina-tsrif · 1 year

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Walls and Friends

Everyone hits a wall.Sometimes, the wall is very big, and visible from very far away. Big walls that you can see from far away give you time to figure out how to go around them. And if they don’t, you still have the time to build tools to climb over them, or dig through them.Sometimes the wall is very small, but catches you off-guard. It doesn’t take a lot to get around or over or through a small wall, but you’re not expecting a wall until the last second, and you don’t have any tools ready. Annoying, but at least small enough to deal with easily enough.

And sometimes, the wall is invisible.You don’t know a wall is coming until you run into it face first. You don’t know how big it is, or whether there’s a path around it. You don’t know what material it’s made of, so you don’t know what kind of tool would be best to climb it, or dig through it. Invisible walls were a pain in the keister.Especially since anyone else would just tell you to walk forward, because they couldn’t see the wall. Some people didn’t know about invisible walls, and thought other people just didn’t feel like moving on. Dealing with people who didn’t believe in invisible walls was almost more infuriating than the invisible walls.

Lamina had hit an invisible wall.It wasn’t the first time they had hit a wall, not even the first invisible one. That did not make it any more pleasant to smack into one face first.They had been focused on a wall in the distance - a big but very visible wall, made of a few different materials. A wall of Work, coming in their path soon in various forms, and needing various tools. Lamina had been crafting the tools to deal with the big Work wall.

And then they’d gotten cold-clocked by an invisible wall.It had knocked them from the sky, and the fall to the ground had hurt them a lot. Getting up would be a lot of work before they could even start trying to deal with either of the walls.And so for a bit, Lamina just lay there in the dirt, coughing blood with limbs akimbo, wishing that the wall wasn’t there.

A soft rustling sound from behind Lamina made them slowly turn their head. It was hard to see through the dirt on their glasses.Something poked at their glasses, fuzzy and bright, and when it pulled back there was a little less dirt on their glasses.In front of them sat a pig, wearing a crown that was too big and had fallen upside-down around its neck. It bore two balls of red and green, the same shades as Lamina wore.This pig was a friend, Boon. Lamina and Boon had been friends for a long time, and even though they didn’t talk as much as they used to, Lamina was happy to see Boon again.

Boon sat back on its haunches, cleared its throat, and started shaking the balls - pom-poms.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!” The voice was rough and low for a pig, and a little silly in the way one sounds when one doesn’t care about sounding silly.It waved the pom-poms high, and it waved the pom-poms low, and it waved the pom-poms so strongly it nearly fell backwards.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!”

Lamina stared at Boon.Boon stared at Lamina, and shook the pom-poms again.They both began to laugh.

And then Boon set the pom-poms down, and grabbed Lamina’s collar with its teeth. It gently helped Lamina roll back into a position that was a little more comfortable, laying down next to it.“Hit a wall?" Lamina nodded, sighing. "Want to draw. But I have to get past the Work wall, and there’s another one in the way.”Boon nodded solemnly. “Invisible. Hit a lot of those myself.”“How did you deal with them?”Boon’s piggy lips tilted back in a smile. “Got help. A lot of it from you.”

Lamina looked over at Boon. Boon looked back.“A lot of the days I was writing, I hit my own walls. But I would look through it, and see you waiting on the other side. And you were always so happy to see me that I just had to make it through the wall. And sometimes, you would help me through it, seeing things I couldn’t.”It was true. It felt like a long time ago, and no time at all.

“So whenever you want to get up,” Boon said, stretching and wiggling back onto its feet, “and take another crack at the wall, I’ll be here. You can lay down for a bit if you want, though - you hit it pretty hard. And I can wait.”Lamina watched the pig pick up the pom-poms again, brushing the dirt off them. Boon looked back, and wiggled them.“Ra! Ra! Sis-boom-ba! You can do it, La-mi-na!”

—–

aka ur little drawing inspires me as always, and i’ll help you with any walls I can, even if all i can do is pom-pom

#submission #what if i just never recover from this #there are actual tears in my eyes #how the fuck are you able to write amazing shit like this so casually at the drop of a hat #youre so fuckin talented!!!!!!#i really did hit an invisible wall #thought i was ready for it !! very much was not #i love the way you do descriptions #everyone seems to always hit a wall around you until you hit a wall yourself and you watch everyone around you pass through like its nothing #i cant believe we didnt meet that long ago! it feels like ive known you for so many years!!!#there is so much care in this. i can hug this close n love oozes from this like a sponge #m so glad i have you as a friend!! i really needed this #ra! ra! sis-boom-ba! i can do it LA-MI-NA!#<- that is going ot be my war cry for now on whenever i need to get something done thank you i love it #this it so good i still cant believe you wrote this for me #thank you!!!!!!! \^~^/#ALSO!!!! I DID THE MAIN BULK OF THE WORK RIGHT AFTER YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT!!!!!!!#IT WASNT EVEN THAT HARD!!!! I WAS JUST DREADING IT SO BAD BECAUSE I HATED THE SUBJECT MATERIAL #THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU INFINITY TIMES OVER!! IF I HADNT I PROBABLY WOULD'VE RAN OUT OF TIME DOING IT LATER AND MESSED IT UP #BOON YOURE THE FUCKING BEST N YOU DESERVE THE BEST #M TREASURING THIS FOREVER I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT

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