#can't remember anything but im sure

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

#csi #gsr #i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything #need to talk more about these two here #because im obsessed about them in a Normal way #sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together #i would not though #i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far #also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what #i could talk about her forever she's everything to me #and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever #i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them #and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line #nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it #but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know #but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life #you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too #he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it #and his smirks #AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA #im losing my mind #i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ #ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic #one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone #or this persons' lifestyle #he's always trying to understand them and not judge them #like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people #and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much #like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara #they're a perfect match for me

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

I feel like actually shit like the entirety of last week getting to me. I wish I could have a moment of actual relaxation and not just me forgetting I have shit to do.

(Tag warning-> depressing talk, dark topics)

Might delete this idk..

#vent post #tag rambles #I have over 60 different things to fill out that I need to do by tomorrow and I forgot to do them. I feel so stupid #I actually hate having adhd #people try to make it out to be just a quirky thing that its not that big of a deal or anything #but it's not #it impairs on relationships #I struggle to remember important things that I need to do and even WANT to do. I struggle so bad #I even have fights with people about me being a “liar” even though I'm not #I just have a shit ass memory I feel useless 90% of the time and shit #gods and I doubt it's just me having adhd. Im pretty sure its my possibility of having bpd and autism #i show all symptoms of bpd and I relate far too much with autism videos #like this is stuff active in my daily life #people don't see it often due to have carefully Ive crafted.. this is going to sound a bit fannibal of me but literally a person suit #i swear a person suit #it's not even funny #gods i just wish I could function without getting all up and arms about how much of a pos I feel #if I don't get attention from.. basically.. my fp I get all sad and melancholy. i spiral #I'm pretty sure I have at least three fps #if I even have bpd #but gods #just so stupid how I can barely fucking function without all of these crutches #I'm not in a certian program anymore for a thing and now I can't fuction and work how I use to since it was a slower environment #I'm failing #like I won't be able to make it I feel like #not suicide or anything #just in things I wanted to do #feels like my future is doomed cause life keeps throwing curve balls at me #someone with at least two mental disabilities #i definitely have more

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT. #anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure. #and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone. #i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:(( #honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug. #im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

[horridhenrybraindead]

i think people making horrid henry super complex and dark is just. funny. like this show is about a british kid who hates school, homework, vegetables, and nagging.

.

#i really dont have anything to add #im bad at responses #you're correct though. #of course ive also taken it serious but when you look at the ouside of this fandom. you can't help but laugh a little at it #i love taking un-serious shit serious but we shouldn't act like it is fr serious y'know? #sure have fun but SOME people here need to remember it's all bullshit at the end of the day xD #horrid henry

[marklikely]

harrowing experience yesterday where my friend and i debated whether or not "Closer" was a good song and it went on for like. way too long before we realized that i was talking about the nine inch nails song and they were talking about the god awful chainsmokers song.

#like . nightmare scenario: someone thinks i was defending the chainsmokers. #avpost #this is still like really funny to me. i was going to bat for it so hard bc i thought it was the nin song #i was like man what the hell its not bland with bad singing its a good song the singing is interesting . i like it #i can't even fully remember anything i said about it i just know i was like. thinking that it was a bad criticism. #yeah its a good song sure its not pretty dance music but the ugliness in it is what makes it good its similar to like why i like punk #like i know i definitely brought up punk music as a comparison which. if it was abt the chainsmokers wouldve been so fucking funny #all i know is when i finally said the words nine inch nails and they were like 'wh?? im talking about the chainsmokers song??' i like #physically turned away and almost fell to the ground i could not handle it. i felt like 5 seconds from going orz on the floor. #*through tears while cracking up* 'oh. yeah closer by the chainsmokers is a really bad song'

[benetnvsch]

if I had a nickel every time I watched an anime where a character voiced by Patrick Seitz blows up a character voiced by Griffin Puatu I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice-

#chat does this mean anything to u? #this is uhhhh #kunikida and Tecchou (obvs) and then cursed arm and Tristan #so fucking good both times- they're two of my favorite #I believe?? they also May have a moment in beastars as Riz and Louis but idk if they fight (they don't I think it's just rip and the wolf) #MY GOD actually lemme just say rq- #(and mutuals -I sincerely apologize for this pls don't judge me) #hearing Patrick seitz talk about how the only way to love herbivores is to eat them Gave Me All The Diseases /pos #“I can't remember his face or voice anymore but I can remember his taste and smell like it was yesterday” #“our claws and fangs are for devouring the helpless... im sure ill never forget ur taste either” WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT #“I was saving the pretty boy but he was delicious” fucking kill me rn do it- #I don't even watch beastars I just say a clip and went bonkers cuz ofc I recognized his voice-

[teruwasright]

I kinda want to talk about something that's bothering me right now-

Y'all don't know but I'm huge on dolls- I love them, I collect them, I even tare them apart to put back together as something new ( as in I do doll costumes as well) so because of that I fallow the doll tags even mh even tho I haven't watched it- (I was a eah person)

But I absolutely HATE the drama going on rn... seriously people saying it's weird that people want dolls to be sexy or saying it's just flat out creepy-

To those people- stFu. I'm not gonna let you make my favorite thing about doll customizing "weird".

I love doll customizing for that EXACT reason. No I'm not talking about dolls being sexy I'm talking about the FREEDOM of dolls.

When it comes to doll customizing a doll can literally be anything you want it to be- it's what I LOVE about it! It's why I do it!

Hell- I usually use eah dolls as my base and wanted to fucking make Kenshin (from Reoine Kenshin) but boy dolls are hard to find- and especially anime guys are feminine so- I said FUCK IT. I took one of my bases and sanded her chest off and used that- and I still do! All my anime guys are "girls" because it works better then actual boy dolls! Dolls can be anything you want! THAT INCLUDES SEXY.

And no. It's NOT somehow sexualizing kids? How tf are we doing that? 'Well there's dolls are marketed towards them!' No they aren't- the dolls that your talking about (eah,mh,barbie,ect) are marketed towards people over the age of 12- just because people younger then that play with them DOESN'T MEAN THEY WERE THE TARGET AUDIENCE.

And honestly- as far as I'm concerned if someone spends money on a doll- like- it's THERE SHIT- there more then welcome to do WHATEVER they fucking want with that doll.

Dolls aren't childish,they aren't all meant for kids,AND IT'S NOT SEXUALIZING CHILDREN IF YOU MAKE YOUR DOLLS SEXY.

these fashion dolls are meant for people like me- not your 5 year old- so don't get mad if I dress them in a sexy way or I take suggestive photos of MY DOLLS.

If you don't want to sexualize YOUR DOLLS that's fine- but if I want to sexualize MY DOLLS? I'm gonna do as I please.

Dolls are meant to be fun and creative! They can be anything you want them to be! You can literally make them into something completely new!

So coming from a doll collector and doll customer....I'll gladly give my dolls bigger tits thank you ^^

#this has been bugged me for awhile so im not #sure if the drama is over but it seriously bugged me #and i just really need to say something about it- #eah doll #mh dolls #doll repaint #doll custom #ooak doll #ever after high dolls #monster high dolls #rainbow high dolls #fashion dolls #i know the drama started because of that special doll mh released #so sorry i didn't bring her up- and sorry i can't remember her name- TwT #but seeing the conflict of whether dolls should be sexy or not just- #people will fight over anything on the internet even plastic. #tho i do agree- her doll should have been sexier- 👀

[game-boy-pocket]

Also, with no disrespect to Charles Martinet, this is a very big thing that is worth talking about and paying him respect, but I wish people would stop acting like he was the only one who was influential to Mario and Luigi. I'm seeing a lot of takes about Mario having "no character" before Charles Martinet.

I know there will be a lot of "video game is the only media that matters ( unless it was made after the 1990's, because suddenly I will start caring about non-video game media then ) who will dismiss this post, but people really need to pay some respect to Captain Lou Albano and Danny Wells.

Luigi was a slightly cowardly, nervous man who would put those feelings aside to do the right thing and had a very deep love for his brother despite occasional squabbles with him LONG before Charles Martinet or Luigi's Mansion came along and I'd argue that Mario's personality as a sweet, child like, food motivated everyman that always wanted to do the right thing in the super show was not all that far off from what he eventually became in the games. Yes. Mario and Luigi sounded different than Martinet's approach, but the personality was there.

Heck, the guy who voiced Wario in the USA commercials for Six Golden Coins and the Wario Land commercials is pretty close to the voice Martinet tried out for Wario in Mario Kart 64, it feels like a mix of that, and his speaking voice in the Wario Ware games.

I'm not trying to downplay the importance of Martinet stepping down at all. I just want people to understand that Mario has been a big franchise even before 1996. The franchise's early years didn't begin and end with a few NES and Arcade games, there were cartoons, comics, movies, musical ice shows, and so much more.

#like im sure a lot of it isn't intentionally disrespecting Captain Lou #a lot of it certainly comes from younger fans who aren't old enough to remember super show and can't stomach old media #but some other people should know better #that and I just think it's sad how ppl claim to care about the history of a franchise #but are so selective about it #and will call anything that doesn't resemble the modern product ''outdated garbage'' #man... #i hate sounding like a boomer but respect your fucking roots guys...

[piplupod]

i remember seeing somewhere that the alt text of an image should be one way, and the image description as a caption in the post itself should be another way. one way was more descriptive and longer, and the other way was short and to the point. does anyone know which way its supposed to go? i want to make sure I'm IDing my art correctly!!

#i was just doing short and to the point for both - copy and pasting the ID i wrote into the alt text so it'd have both #but now i am not sure fsjdkl #image description #idk what to tag this with to get it seen sorry aaaa i can't remember any blogs that do image describing regularly to ask them!! #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #im trying to google but i can't really find anything yet but i will keep looking !!

[giantkillerjack]

Thank you, younger me, for drawing so many things in which the lines were never quite right. It is quite literally the only reason I ever figured out how to get them right.

#And I imagine future me will have a very similar thing to say when I am them and they are no longer me. #original #something about zyr improved composition and speed hopefully #i keep wanting to use she pronouns for future me. probably bc that is what i do for past me sometimes. #but i really don't think I'm ever going to want she her pronouns again #I still don't get my lines exactly how I want them a lot of the time but I am at a point where I'm fairly confident I can #produce nearly anything I see in my head and capture the spirit of it in a way that makes me proud. #even if it takes a really really long time sometimes. #and although I don't think the art I made growing up was bad i love the phrase #' the road to good art is paved with bad art.' I think I saw it in a video by Bobby Chiu? idk. #and I like it because whenever I'm not sure about what I'm making and I get to insecure or perfectionist about it #*too insecure #I remember that if I want to get good at the thing I'm struggling with I'm going to have to do it poorly or just okay a bunch of times #and that doing this is my ticket to this skill I'm placing value on. also doesn't hurt that Im drawing things I love and I enjoy doing it #although at this point I really really should just sit down and study leg muscles for like a hundred years #it's one of the more longstanding blindspots of mine. that and literally everything that is not people. #as in locations animals objects scenery... did you know that most graphic novels have some or all of those things??? #how homophobic that in order to show my characters experiencing such luxuries as plot action and context I couldn't just #drop them on a gradient and be done with it! #I've been drawing for like 20 years and only a couple years ago was i like... OH MY GOD I CAN'T DRAW A FUCKING TREE

[numetaljackdog]

Ask game; 21 :)

21 (What I love most about myself): hmm i guess i think i'm pretty funny sometimes, i've got some clever one-liners and wordplay skills. i'm very introspective, often to a fault, but i do feel like that makes me self-aware in a way that allows me to conduct myself with compassion. and i can make a pretty damn nice sandwich, and i'm good at tetris :)

#mayyyybe i'm pilfering from a list of good qualities i made one time. you'll never know for sure #it is kind of funny though really. y'know that post that's like 'not everyone has to be funny all the time' #like 'some people are serious by nature and that's okay' #i do think there's some truth in that and i don't think i'm funny by nature but rather moreso by necessity #like i remember being in school and thinking oh my god if i don't have anything to contribute to my friends' conversations they're gonna #leave me behind in the dust and maybe even hit me with rocks until i die because i wasted their time by making them think #even for a second that i was someone worth talking to. so i tried to be the funnyman #and i was AWFUL at it. not funny at all and more than a little off-putting in the process of trying #and im sure that made it look far more enticing to abandon me than it ever would have otherwise but i couldn't understand that at the time #so i kept trying and eventually forged through the flames of trial and error with a pretty alright sense of comedy #and now i can't turn it off #<this has been an example of introspection to a fault. thank you *curtain falls* #*char noises* #char asks

[transgothicgenre]

i really like mole because it's like. it's about a lot of things. but one of the biggest parts to me is the paranoia . like. "i know what you want and you know what i want" is already so incredibly damning bc that's not how human interaction works so at least one of these parties is making assumptions. and then just following that line up with "information, information". again its the assumption bc neither party is saying with any clarity what the information is so they could be communicating on totally different wavelengths but there's still just that unspoken level of assumption. you know what i want. i know what you want. we don't need to specify at all. you know. i know.

#sorry im like. hghghhghj. march makes me weird #im also. god. i feel bad because i cannot be normal about this #no longer talking abt the goats btw feel free to ignore if youre not invested in my personal life #but ive figured out whats setting me off and its so strange #bc i thought i got over it. this is a thing of the past. literally nearly a decade ago by this point #there is not a single me that remembers it and those that do are seeing someone else's warped vision of it #but it's. a thing. and it's messing me up. and i can't stop it and it frustrates me #i tried to ask my brain to stop it and they explicitly told me 'you don't get to make that request'. #and like. on monday i thought they were deliberating about what to do but it seems like theyre not or if they are they just wont tell me #and its. sucks. cause i dont like being excluded from conversations in the first place #and then theres people talking about things that im not present for which is a large part of what is freaking me out #(i say large part. i mean a small part interwoven w the rest but i don't know for sure bc i literally don't know) #but theyre just. im not. nobody is telling me anything. and im all alone and im getting paranoid about it. so hence the moleposting #its just frustrating cause some parts are avoidable and others arent #like shes always going to know things we dont know bc thats the basic idea of it #but she doesnt have to lie. about it. and misleading. #i dont want to confront her but i get the feeling that at some point i will not be given a choice which is unfortunate #considering that's likely to be big and loud and public #and i dont like that theyre collaborating without telling us. when the informed consent is sus. but thats gonna stop soon #they said its gonna stop soon and i have no choice but to believe them bc i cant. do anything. if theyre lying #i will say i cant like. speak for all parts but some of them have been sliding me notes under the table so to speak and theyre on my side #so that's something #but i really don't wanna have to explain anything. especially not publicly especially not to her etc etc #aand im getting the headache again so that is a sign to stop. goobaba all i hope tomorrow will be better #post

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

head hurty

#not any more like that but last night #love having a pain condition triggered partly by anxiety but also it caused the anxiety to be constant in the first place #i dont get chronic migraines bc i dont get them often enough its usually like 1 every 2 months nowadays but sometimes it can be 4 in a week #bc having one makes it more likely i have a another soon after #but i sure as fuck have acute migraines #i remember being in school and classmates being like oh i have a migraine going off to take their meds and then coming back to class?! #whereas as soon as i had an aura id go to the office and be like can you call my mum she needs to take me home #and i thought i was just being weak and i should just push through it #but you can't push through acute pain nausea vomiting and disorientation #there are literally parts of my brain or thoughts i can't access during one ill be trying to think of a word and i can't find it #they usually only last like 2-3 hours but it feels like a lot longer when you're sitting in the dark can't even lie down feeling like hell #and ik some peoples go on for days some people have them more days than they dont ik im lucky to have such short and fairly infrequent ones #but its still beyond horrible and feeling like a ticking time bomb constantly watching out for an aura #and worrying about going somewhere you can't easily get home from #and I've only just started to be able to talk about it i could never understand how other people could talk about theirs flippantly #when mine terrified me more than anything the amount of bad feelings #but she's working on it having realised after 8 years that it doesn't have to be like that 🤣 #mine #n e way sorry for the rsnt all good now chillin in bed ✌🤣

[murobrown]

.

#new ability unlocked....✨health anxiety✨ #I'm tired man I'm so fucking tired of panicking all the time because I feel like I'm going to pass out ot throw up #or constantly googling health symptoms what makes me feel thousands times worse and definitely doesn't calm me down #one day I'm sure I'm getting a heart attack on next day I have a brain tumor then epilepsy then I go for aneurysm... #fucking funniest thing is that it's been going on for two months and absolutely nothing happened to me #i just have constant headache nausea and pain in my stomach but I haven't passed out or threw up or anything #fuck I just want back my normal life when I'm not in constant worry #i feel like im 24/7 in a high alert panic mode so I can't comprehend anything calmly... #i feel like an animal that's constantly just running away from something #I'm scared too see a doctor because I don't even know how to explain my problems...they will think I'm completely insane... #I can't remember last time I ate something without feeling anxious and being in pain afterwards #and the worst thing is that I developed even ubhealier relationship with food by counting calories :)))) #so even though I eat nothing I need to push myself into an intense workout because my brain tells me I need to burn everything #i didn't know ai could be even more messed up than I was before #but hey I lost a ton of weight and I am in the best shape I've ever been... it's all I ever wanted and it cost me only my sanity :))))) #i don't even have clothes to fit in anymore because everything literally falls down from me... #currently I'm convinced I'm going to pass out and die any second but I know I'll be alright I can't just die out of nowhere... #I'm healthy and everything will be okay...I survived so much and it will get only better #if you read this rant I typed out while hyperventilating congratulations you get a free cookie and a warm tea I'll be making #guys but seriously...do you know how to tackle this? or the only logical way is to see a doctor? #because I don't know how long can I go on like this considering from September my job should get even more stressful... #now my stress level is high like never before... just thinking about September is giving me a panic attack #aaaaand those are the things I shouldn't think about because the only thing stressing me out the most is my fucking self :) #that's the damn problem like the thing that's making me most stressed is the stress 🙃 #I feel nauseous because I'm stressed and I'm stressed because I'm nauseous...makes sense #i think I'm loosing my mind...and it fucking sucks that I do this to myself for no reason at all #i have a nice relaxing day and then in the evening I decide to think about all the bad stuff and kill it all #another scary thing is living on your own without any close friends in your life and with your family hours away...it won't let me sleep #if anything happens I'm alone...if I pass out right now I need to take care about myself #i often think how long would it take to find my dead body here...and then I shake and cry because I don't want to die

[ghosttoasties]

I never lie when I say things just don't work out for me and everything piles up at the same time and I have no control over it. I am not lying when I say I am sick all the time, that I am fatigued, and that focusing is becoming more and more difficult with everything piling on.

Sure, to an employer, to an instructor it all sounds too convenient. Sure, I still make time for fun things because even if I'm in pain every day I still deserve to have fun. It doesn't mean that I'm disregarding my reality. Oh, I am thinking about it all the time. But you as an employer or instructor have no right to police me on what I do outside of the environment we share.

#pasta jargon #sorry i am so mad because i can't work on anything at all i literally just lost a family member it's been difficult to cope #and i am realizing full force i still havent recovered from my surgery im at the point where i dont know how my body hasnt gone septic yet #i dont know how my body is still going it hurts to do everything!!!!!!! #i can't even sit or walk for long periods of time!!!! #oh trust me sure i went out last week but did i have fun. only in the moment. only because i was with my friends #but overall?? i wish i just slept all weekend and let my liver bleed over pain meds. i hate it #i have to keep going. but i cant remember a time where i wasn't in some kind of physical pain. it starts to get to your head.

[toastsnaffler]

really horribly anxious this morning and can't seem to shake it off :-(

#struggling not to dissociate. just don't really know what I'm going to do with all this i think thats where its coming from #+ exacerbated by so much recent disappointment. its hard not to direct that towards myself even when im not really at fault #not to mention disappointment in other people. which is really just more self disappointment for having expectations in the first place #which are unfeasible/not communicated. i just feel so unreal and unreachable. kind of just incompatible with the world i think #and i dont remember how to weave myself back into it again.im not sure ive ever really known how. immiscibility innit #its ok. going to try and start meditating daily again. and negotiate better boundaries for myself. it might help to journal it out #not on here i mean in a physical journal. i can't hold this exclusively in my head or I'll want to start harming again ik its a trigger #its all okay tho sorry this sounds more dramatic than it actually is. my flatmates gone out so at least i can cry while doing chores #she was dressed up nice and came to say goodbye when she left which she doesnt normally do so i dont think she'll be back for a while #hope she has a good time whatever shes up to. probably shouldve asked in hindsight but im too anxious to be able to talk today #and selfishly it would make me feel worse trying not to compare myself to how much more meshed with reality she is she makes it look easy #she only wanted me to do her suncream but i started trembling rly badly after. just cant physically be around other people right now #well at least i didnt cry in front of her so thats something. okay. ive made a list of tasks so im going to pick them off one at a time #i shouldnt have to think too much about them. and hopefully by the time im done ill feel much calmer #and then maybe i can play a game or smth. but if not i wont be hard on myself ill just go lie down and listen to music instead #man it is a shame about this festival though but it is what it is. therell be other days. i guess im not really a weekend person hey #ah itll all pass its all good. im always okay again eventually however temporarily. i dont need anything other than that #.diaries